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♪♪
2
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:07,040
Welcome to lunch.
3
00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,580
Today's theme
is surf and turf.
4
00:00:09,580 --> 00:00:11,000
Bon appetite!
5
00:00:11,540 --> 00:00:14,580
Mmm, ceviche.
6
00:00:14,580 --> 00:00:18,290
Wait, why is there
a little treasure chest in here?
7
00:00:18,290 --> 00:00:20,620
Oh, I must have
scooped it up by accident
8
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:21,960
when I was grabbing
the goldfish.
9
00:00:23,710 --> 00:00:26,290
Ew!
My goats wouldn't even eat this stuff,
10
00:00:26,290 --> 00:00:29,330
and they once ate
our septic tank.
11
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,920
Okay, okay,
so guys you're not fans of the "surf."
12
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,750
Perhaps you'll find
the "turf" acceptable.
13
00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:36,120
There ya go.
14
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,380
Some nice, healthy greens
harvested fresh
15
00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:41,120
from the Camp
Champion football field.
16
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,960
Murphy, you can't
seriously expect us to eat that.
17
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,250
That's the 50 yard line!
18
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:47,250
That's the best cut
of the field!
19
00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:50,250
Listen, I'm doing my best.
20
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,250
So, quit givin' me carp!
21
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,330
If we had carp
we'd be eating it!
22
00:00:55,330 --> 00:00:56,540
Fine.
23
00:00:56,540 --> 00:00:58,620
You hotshots think
you can do better than me,
24
00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:01,290
then you can make dinner
for the campers tonight.
25
00:01:01,290 --> 00:01:05,040
I think we can,
and we will.
26
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:07,420
Finally, we'll have
a decent meal around here.
27
00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:09,250
We'll see.
28
00:01:09,250 --> 00:01:12,880
Oh! And since you guys
aren't eating the turf, I'll help myself.
29
00:01:15,170 --> 00:01:18,620
Mm. That weed killer
gives it a real tang.
30
00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,210
♪ Here we go
31
00:01:23,210 --> 00:01:26,210
♪ We're leaving the city
behind right now
32
00:01:26,210 --> 00:01:28,120
♪ Let's gather by
the campfire light
33
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,120
♪ And sing this song
34
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,120
ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka
35
00:01:33,170 --> 00:01:35,210
♪ Hanging out
with someone new
36
00:01:35,210 --> 00:01:38,210
♪ Then falling out
of a camp canoe
37
00:01:38,210 --> 00:01:40,500
♪ What's that smell?
It's on your shoe
38
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,170
ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka
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00:01:43,290 --> 00:01:45,380
♪ Got a s'more in my hair
40
00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:48,000
♪ Mosquitos in
our underwear
41
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,170
♪ Shower's broke
but we don't care
42
00:01:50,170 --> 00:01:51,960
ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka
43
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:57,250
♪ This is our home away
from home away from home away from home
44
00:01:57,250 --> 00:02:01,250
♪ But watch your back
A bear just ate my phone
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00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:03,580
ALL:
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka
46
00:02:03,580 --> 00:02:05,960
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka
47
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,620
♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪
48
00:02:14,210 --> 00:02:15,750
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS)
49
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:20,210
We finally get to make
a good dinner!
50
00:02:20,210 --> 00:02:22,080
Can I get a E-I-E-I-Oh, yeah!
51
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,170
And a rousing huzzah!
52
00:02:25,170 --> 00:02:27,210
When you have
an E-I-E-I-Oh, yeah,
53
00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:29,040
you really don't need
a huzzah.
54
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:33,250
But four cooks in the kitchen
might be like...
55
00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:34,830
Like...
56
00:02:34,830 --> 00:02:37,120
What's the phrase
when there are too many cooks in the kitchen?
57
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:38,380
Too many cooks
in the kitchen?
58
00:02:38,380 --> 00:02:39,540
No...
59
00:02:41,670 --> 00:02:44,880
Well, I think the Grizzlies
should be in charge.
60
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,170
The only thing
you've ever been in charge of
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00:02:46,170 --> 00:02:47,420
is the reptile club.
62
00:02:47,420 --> 00:02:48,960
And that's because
you were the only member.
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00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,290
That is not true.
64
00:02:51,290 --> 00:02:52,380
Mrs. Kipling doesn't count.
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00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:56,330
Well, it just so happens,
in middle school,
66
00:02:56,330 --> 00:02:57,710
I cooked for myself
every day.
67
00:02:57,710 --> 00:03:00,040
That's because
you kept getting your lunch money stolen.
68
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:04,210
And I am still waiting
for Zuri to apologize.
69
00:03:04,210 --> 00:03:06,580
Well, I think the Woodchucks
should be in charge.
70
00:03:06,580 --> 00:03:09,080
I once made dinner
for one hundred.
71
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,920
Were they cows, Lou?
72
00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:11,920
No...
73
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,170
They were goats.
74
00:03:15,670 --> 00:03:16,790
Hey, Jorge,
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00:03:16,790 --> 00:03:18,420
what's funnier than
a bunch of fools
76
00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:20,120
trying to cook dinner?
77
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:21,120
Prop comedy?
78
00:03:22,330 --> 00:03:25,620
I have to stop
asking you questions.
79
00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:29,120
No, a video
about a bunch of fools trying to cook dinner.
80
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,420
I bet it'll go viral.
81
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,670
Hey, friends, family...
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00:03:35,170 --> 00:03:37,120
Xander.
83
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:40,290
Since you guys can't agree
on who should prepare dinner tonight,
84
00:03:40,290 --> 00:03:42,040
why don't you
have a competition?
85
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,250
Like that show, Chopped?
86
00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:45,790
Oooh, I love that show!
I talk about it all the time.
87
00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,580
Right, Xander?
All.
88
00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:49,120
The. Time.
89
00:03:50,250 --> 00:03:51,500
So let's do it.
90
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:54,210
It'll be Woodchucks
versus Grizzlies!
91
00:03:54,210 --> 00:03:57,040
It is on
like chateaubriand!
92
00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:58,040
(LAUGHS)
93
00:03:58,580 --> 00:03:59,710
It worked!
94
00:03:59,710 --> 00:04:01,830
Four angry teenagers in a room
95
00:04:01,830 --> 00:04:05,000
where everything is
either sharp, hot, or greasy?
96
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,000
That's gonna be
total click bait!
97
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,420
The Woodchucks
are going to be humiliated on the Internet!
98
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:14,250
Big talk from a guy
who went viral by being chased up a tree.
99
00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:17,040
That dog was vicious!
It was an elderly Chihuahua.
100
00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:25,250
Two teams.
101
00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:27,620
Two crates
of mystery ingredients.
102
00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:28,790
Two hosts.
103
00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:30,000
I'm Zuri Ross.
104
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,380
And I'm...
Not important.
105
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:34,290
Welcome to Diced!
106
00:04:34,290 --> 00:04:37,580
And I'm...
Time to meet the "celebrity" judge!
107
00:04:39,620 --> 00:04:42,540
He's a 15-year vet
of the Camp Kikiwaka kitchen
108
00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:45,420
and the inventor
of rat-dropping-atouille...
109
00:04:45,420 --> 00:04:46,750
Murphy!
110
00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:49,460
The secret is using
only the freshest of droppings.
111
00:04:49,460 --> 00:04:51,250
Sometimes you gotta
follow 'em around for days.
112
00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:53,750
You should have
kept that a secret.
113
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:58,750
And I'm...
Time to meet our two teams!
114
00:04:58,750 --> 00:05:00,170
Howdy!
115
00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:03,290
This is Lou Hockhauser,
whose favorite dish is goat.
116
00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:06,580
What?
Excuse me, favorite friend is a goat.
117
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,210
Which made for
an interesting prom.
118
00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:14,670
And Lou's teammate
is Emma Ross!
119
00:05:14,670 --> 00:05:16,250
Hi.
120
00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:18,920
And she'll never need to cook,
because she's pretty and rich.
121
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,080
That's true.
122
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:24,330
And I'm...
Let's meet the Grizzlies!
123
00:05:24,330 --> 00:05:27,620
Ravi Ross
is a socially awkward science geek,
124
00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:30,330
whose favorite game
is solitaire.
125
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,750
And I am undefeated.
126
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,880
I am also available, ladies.
127
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,290
That's a shocker.
128
00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:43,120
And Ravi's teammate
is Xander McCormick!
129
00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,710
Who is dating Emma.
130
00:05:44,710 --> 00:05:46,420
That's right.
I know.
131
00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:48,040
We can't believe it either.
132
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,960
Now that we've met our teams,
133
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,250
time to find out
what they'll be cooking with.
134
00:05:55,210 --> 00:05:56,710
Chefs,
135
00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:58,710
crack open those crates!
136
00:06:00,250 --> 00:06:01,120
Ew!
137
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,460
What the heck is in there?
138
00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:05,120
Don't puke, Lou.
Swallow it back.
139
00:06:06,330 --> 00:06:08,710
I guess this is
not going to be as easy as they thought.
140
00:06:09,380 --> 00:06:11,210
And I'm Jorge Ramir...
141
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,170
Welcome back to Diced.
142
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:22,830
Our contestants just found out
their secret ingredients.
143
00:06:22,830 --> 00:06:24,420
Bruised tomatoes,
144
00:06:25,710 --> 00:06:27,330
moldy gray meat,
145
00:06:28,330 --> 00:06:30,580
ugh, some kind
of deformed fish...
146
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,420
Shrimp tails,
147
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,210
black bananas?
148
00:06:39,210 --> 00:06:41,080
Murphy, is this
149
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:42,120
a hoof?
150
00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:44,920
Oh, yeah,
I would've gotten you more,
151
00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:47,120
but that's all I could pry
off the grill of my scooter.
152
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,330
When I first saw
those ingredients,
153
00:06:50,330 --> 00:06:52,210
it reminded me
of growing up on a farm.
154
00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:53,460
We didn't have a lot of money,
155
00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:55,670
so we had to get
pretty creative in the kitchen.
156
00:06:55,670 --> 00:06:57,710
When I first saw
those ingredients, I thought,
157
00:06:57,710 --> 00:07:00,330
is it possible
to throw up food you haven't even eaten yet?
158
00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:04,170
My mom was a great cook.
159
00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:06,920
I remember every night
her food would bring my dad to tears.
160
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,500
He loved it so much,
he shared most of his food with our dog.
161
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:10,620
Wait a minute...
162
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:13,580
I just want a video
on the Internet
163
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:16,790
where I am not being chased
up a tree by a tiny dog named Shivers.
164
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,960
Okay, folks,
four hours until dinner.
165
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,540
Enough with the looking,
let's start cooking!
166
00:07:24,540 --> 00:07:26,330
Oh, at least
there's sausage!
167
00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:28,040
(HISSES)
(SCRAMS) Snake!
168
00:07:29,620 --> 00:07:31,290
You may wanna go get that.
169
00:07:31,290 --> 00:07:32,330
It was your main course.
170
00:07:34,290 --> 00:07:38,290
So, Xander,
what's going to be your cooking strategy?
171
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:40,120
To cheer on Ravi,
172
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,960
because the one time
I tried to make boiled eggs, I forgot to put in the eggs.
173
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,830
So, I basically just made
boiled water.
174
00:07:45,830 --> 00:07:49,210
That is when I realized
I would have to cook twice as hard.
175
00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:51,880
And to win,
I would have to call on my true love.
176
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,210
Science.
177
00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:55,080
Ah, my beloved science,
178
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:58,920
your warm embrace gives me
companionship on those cold, dark nights.
179
00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:01,290
I am so lonely.
180
00:08:01,290 --> 00:08:03,380
To win this contest,
181
00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:05,670
I will alter
the chemical compound
182
00:08:05,670 --> 00:08:08,170
within the molecules
of the food using
183
00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:09,710
molecular gastronomy!
184
00:08:09,710 --> 00:08:11,210
Great idea!
185
00:08:11,210 --> 00:08:14,040
You have no idea
what he's talking about, do you?
186
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,750
Never do.
187
00:08:15,750 --> 00:08:18,580
So, girls,
what's your game plan
188
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:20,040
for your meal plan?
189
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,880
Ooh, let's do beef wellington!
190
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:23,710
I'd be mighty impressed
if you could make that
191
00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:26,210
out of gray meat, hooves,
192
00:08:26,210 --> 00:08:28,120
and a fish that looks
like it has toes.
193
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,210
Oh, I don't know
how to cook it.
194
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,330
I just know how to order it.
195
00:08:32,330 --> 00:08:34,120
Uh-oh, Lou,
196
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,380
looks like
your partner's skills are limited to opening a menu
197
00:08:37,380 --> 00:08:39,080
and making a phone call.
198
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,290
Oh, I don't call.
199
00:08:41,290 --> 00:08:43,170
There's an app.
200
00:08:43,170 --> 00:08:46,380
Emma, if you can't cook,
why would you want to be in a cooking competition?
201
00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:48,170
Oh, I just like
being on camera.
202
00:08:49,420 --> 00:08:50,920
Besides, I can help spruce up
the mess hall
203
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,080
to make it look
like a five-star restaurant.
204
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,880
Ambiance is everything.
205
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,920
Or as the French say,
ambiance.
206
00:09:00,830 --> 00:09:03,330
Ooh! This is getting good.
207
00:09:03,330 --> 00:09:05,920
Will Lou freak out
about not having a menu yet?
208
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,920
Will the pressure
get to her?
209
00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,040
Are you gonna crack, Lou?
210
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:10,330
Crack, crack, crack!
211
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:15,500
Zuri, enough
with the questions, okay? Stop grilling us.
212
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,670
That's when it hit me!
213
00:09:18,670 --> 00:09:22,040
Anything tastes good
charred and slathered in my special barbecue sauce.
214
00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,500
Just ask our old barn owl.
215
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:27,120
Well, you can't,
'cause we ate her.
216
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:33,540
With only three hours left,
our teams continue to prep.
217
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:36,960
So, Ravi, why don't you
explain to us what you're doing?
218
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,170
Gladly! Using a chemical
process known as spherification, I am...
219
00:09:40,170 --> 00:09:41,170
Sorry I asked.
220
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,330
What he's doing
is getting ready to lose!
221
00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:48,170
He's going down
like a bad souffle.
222
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,290
Or as the French say...
223
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:51,500
Souffle.
224
00:09:53,330 --> 00:09:56,040
Let's check in
with our "celebrity" judge.
225
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:57,120
(SNORING)
226
00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,120
So, Murphy...
(GASPS)
227
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,250
First the kids
insult your cooking,
228
00:10:02,250 --> 00:10:05,120
and now you find yourself
judging theirs.
229
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,540
Tell us what's on your mind.
230
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:09,120
I think those chefs
are a bunch of spoiled,
231
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:12,540
ungrateful,
snot-nosed sons of billfish.
232
00:10:12,540 --> 00:10:14,330
I just enjoy
hanging out with the kids.
233
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:16,960
Why is everything so fancy?
234
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,380
I am creating
a high-end dining experience.
235
00:10:19,380 --> 00:10:22,250
Big mistake!
Kids don't like that fancy stuff.
236
00:10:22,250 --> 00:10:24,170
I'm not surprised to hear
you say that,
237
00:10:24,170 --> 00:10:27,880
considering every restaurant
you've ever taken me to has the word "shack" in it.
238
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:30,920
I believe you're forgetting
our date at the Burger Barn.
239
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,380
I wish I could.
240
00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:36,120
The best-tasting thing
was the toy that came with my meal.
241
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:41,330
Ooh, looks like
things are heating up, and the stove's not even on.
242
00:10:43,540 --> 00:10:45,120
Welcome to the fun zone!
243
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,080
So, Emma, what do you think?
244
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,580
Because Xander's my boyfriend,
and I really care about his feelings,
245
00:10:50,580 --> 00:10:52,790
I thought it'd be best
to sugar coat things.
246
00:10:52,790 --> 00:10:54,210
I hate it.
247
00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:59,040
Burn!
And the stove's still not on!
248
00:11:01,210 --> 00:11:03,330
You think
your side is better?
249
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,250
Kids don't need
three different knives!
250
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:06,710
They're all necessary!
251
00:11:06,710 --> 00:11:08,120
There's the butter knife,
the steak knife,
252
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,250
and a "just in case
you dropped your other knives" knife!
253
00:11:12,580 --> 00:11:17,330
Well, flip my lid!
Emma, I love what you've done with the place.
254
00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:19,580
The sawdust is a nice touch!
255
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:24,920
Actually,
that's my nice touch.
256
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,790
This is the Grizzly side.
257
00:11:26,790 --> 00:11:30,380
Wow, Xander!
You have created quite the elegant milieu.
258
00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:32,250
Ooh, is this
a "dropped your knife" knife?
259
00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:35,880
Actually, this is my milieu.
260
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,500
Or, as the French say...
That is French!
261
00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:42,290
No, Ravi, for our side
I'm decorating with sawdust.
262
00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:44,540
It's festive
and it soaks up vomit!
263
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,210
Oh, dear.
264
00:11:47,210 --> 00:11:50,460
Xander, this is all wrong.
265
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,750
Perhaps you could make it
a tad more highbrow.
266
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:54,290
Dude, I'm not changing
my eyebrows!
267
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,710
Emma, you know with barbecue,
268
00:11:57,710 --> 00:12:01,540
you don't have cloth napkins,
you have paper towels or wet wipes.
269
00:12:01,540 --> 00:12:02,920
Ew!
270
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,460
Why don't we just wipe
our mouths with diapers?
271
00:12:04,460 --> 00:12:07,380
Whoa, look who's too fancy
to have diapers on the dinner table.
272
00:12:09,290 --> 00:12:11,960
Xander, too bad
you and I aren't on the same team.
273
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,750
Too bad Ravi and I
aren't on the same team.
274
00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:16,250
I bet nobody's ever said that.
(LAUGHS)
275
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,790
Ever.
276
00:12:18,790 --> 00:12:21,170
Despite that rather
gratuitous slam,
277
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,290
Emma and I should team up.
278
00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:26,880
Her decor matches
the sophistication of my haute cuisine.
279
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,120
If haute cuisine means
three too many knives,
280
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:30,920
then you two
will be perfect together.
281
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,170
Oh, snap peas!
282
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:37,080
This show just took a twist!
283
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,080
Murphy,
would switching partners be against the rules?
284
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,080
Don't care.
285
00:12:42,210 --> 00:12:45,290
Then let's do it!
Counselors versus CIT!
286
00:12:45,290 --> 00:12:48,330
Are the Rosses
ready to face their bosses?
287
00:12:48,330 --> 00:12:50,040
You bet!
288
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:53,290
Because
when you face the Rosses, you have already lost...
289
00:12:54,210 --> 00:12:56,290
Es.
290
00:12:56,290 --> 00:12:58,040
Who do you think
is gonna win now, Murphy?
291
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,040
Still don't care.
292
00:13:00,210 --> 00:13:02,120
I'm just trying to
snag those fuzzy dice.
293
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,380
They'll look really cool
on my scooter.
294
00:13:04,380 --> 00:13:06,790
Nothing looks cool
on a scooter.
295
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:14,420
So, Lou, how long
have you been barbequing?
296
00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:17,080
Heck, since I was a toddler.
297
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,420
Little tip,
don't give a three-year-old lighter fluid.
298
00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:22,040
It ends badly.
299
00:13:22,790 --> 00:13:24,170
Yikes!
300
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,120
That smells like cooked feet.
301
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,290
That's the hoof.
302
00:13:28,210 --> 00:13:30,170
I was gonna cook the fish,
303
00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:33,290
but turns out he wasn't dead
and he crawled away when I wasn't looking.
304
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,250
EMMA: Ravi!
305
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:40,250
What are you serving?
I need to memorize the specials!
306
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:43,540
I'm not sure special
is the right word to describe what's going on here.
307
00:13:43,540 --> 00:13:45,080
Smells more like a felony.
308
00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:49,080
It is an elk-hoof tartare,
309
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:50,250
with a snake juice reduction!
310
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:53,620
Maybe we should keep that
between us.
311
00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:57,500
Svetlana, you can set up
over there.
312
00:13:58,330 --> 00:14:00,330
A violinist is my final touch.
313
00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:02,420
Nothing sets an elegant mood
like classical music.
314
00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:05,790
Great idea!
While my diners are having fun playing games for prizes,
315
00:14:05,790 --> 00:14:08,960
your diners will be using
one of their many knives to cut their ears off.
316
00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:11,540
Ignore him, Svetlana.
317
00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:13,210
Now play your heart out.
318
00:14:13,210 --> 00:14:15,040
(SQUIRREL SQUEAKING)
319
00:14:17,170 --> 00:14:19,380
No offense, Svetlana,
but that sounds terrible.
320
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,380
(SQUIRREL SQUEAKING)
321
00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:26,420
Lou! What happened?
Squirrels...
322
00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:28,210
So many squirrels.
323
00:14:28,210 --> 00:14:29,960
Interesting fact.
324
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,920
Squirrels love
barbecued hoof.
325
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:35,080
(PANTING)
I saved what food I could.
326
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,880
But I may have lost a pinky.
327
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,080
Kinda scared to look.
328
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:40,750
Can you still cook?
329
00:14:40,750 --> 00:14:43,330
And can you wait until after
the meal for the rabies shots?
330
00:14:43,330 --> 00:14:44,790
Sure.
331
00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:47,330
A few hundred squirrel bites
can't slow me down!
332
00:14:47,330 --> 00:14:48,540
I'll just be in the kitchen.
333
00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:54,120
(TEARING UP)
That's my partner.
334
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,290
Meanwhile, my partner
can't even lift his ladle.
335
00:14:56,290 --> 00:14:59,250
Hey! It has a heavy handle!
336
00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:01,040
(METAL SCRAPING)
337
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,880
Ooh,
things are coming to a boil!
338
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,210
Who will win?
339
00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:07,920
Did Lou lose a pinky?
340
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:09,830
Will it end up
as an appetizer?
341
00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:11,540
Yes!
342
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,580
Only 998 more tickets,
and I get a kazoo!
343
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,960
Lou, what happened?
344
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:22,830
You look worse
than your food.
345
00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:27,920
Watch it,
or I will bean you with that beaker.
346
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:32,620
And I'm going to prove that
my barbecue banquet is better than your fancy foam fiasco.
347
00:15:32,620 --> 00:15:34,500
Impressive alliteration aside,
348
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:38,670
I think we will show
the internet that your barbecue barbe-cannot.
349
00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:39,670
(SCOFFS)
350
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:44,040
Zuri, would you please
edit that out? Not a chance.
351
00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:48,120
Outta my way!
352
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:49,750
(CLATTERING)
(RAVI GROANS)
353
00:15:52,170 --> 00:15:56,290
Looks like this
cooking contest just got ugly!
354
00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:57,500
ALL: (CHANTING)
Food! Food! Food!
355
00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:01,080
The food will be right up!
Thank you for your patience.
356
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,120
Oww!
357
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,620
At least butter those first
to soften them up!
358
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,750
Thank you.
359
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:12,210
ALL: (CHANTING)
We want prizes!
360
00:16:12,210 --> 00:16:14,790
We want prizes!
We want Prizes!
361
00:16:14,790 --> 00:16:16,380
I told you,
I ran out of prizes!
362
00:16:16,380 --> 00:16:18,290
Want some paper plates?
363
00:16:18,290 --> 00:16:19,880
They're recyclable!
364
00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:23,040
Your diners are hungry,
and mad.
365
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,620
Why aren't they
throwing stuff at you?
366
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:26,250
Ow!
367
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,830
Thanks for the suggestion.
368
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:34,540
Chef Murphy,
as our "celebrity" judge,
369
00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:37,170
how do you think
our young chefs are doing?
370
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:41,170
Those kids are flailing
like a topsil during a nor' Easter.
371
00:16:41,170 --> 00:16:44,710
I have no idea
what you just said.
372
00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:48,210
Hey, why do you guys
keep putting quotes around the word celebrity?
373
00:16:48,210 --> 00:16:49,210
'Cause you're not a celebrity.
374
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:56,120
(BANGING)
(VIOLIN PLAYING)
375
00:16:57,290 --> 00:16:59,830
Looks like there might be
a riot in here.
376
00:16:59,830 --> 00:17:02,500
Is team CIT struggling?
377
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:04,290
Absolutely not.
378
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,880
Everything
is completely under control.
379
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:09,380
Ravi!
Where the heck's the food?
380
00:17:09,380 --> 00:17:11,170
Some kid stuck me
in the butt with a fork.
381
00:17:11,170 --> 00:17:12,880
We gotta get some real buns
out here!
382
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,750
Well, I could use some help!
383
00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:17,620
Out of my way, beaker boy!
384
00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:21,250
Did you see that?
385
00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:23,750
And a minute ago
she tried to shove me in the garbage disposal!
386
00:17:24,830 --> 00:17:26,210
I'll help you, Ravi!
387
00:17:26,210 --> 00:17:27,500
Ow!
388
00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:33,500
Okay, Chef, how can I help?
389
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:40,290
Pray.
Because you are now wearing our main course.
390
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,290
Emma in a kitchen
is like a bull in a china shop.
391
00:17:45,290 --> 00:17:47,040
Which is a real issue
in my town.
392
00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:49,960
Two against one is no fair!
393
00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:51,380
Xander, get in here!
394
00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:53,580
I wish I could!
395
00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:56,460
Ow, who bit me?
396
00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:59,170
Xander, stop playing
with the kids! I need help!
397
00:17:59,170 --> 00:18:00,120
So do I!
398
00:18:04,830 --> 00:18:07,670
Oh, dear,
where you attacked by squirrels, too?
399
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:10,500
I wish!
Squirrels bite less!
400
00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:15,040
You better hurry!
Dinner is in two minutes.
401
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,120
(SVETLANA PLAYING
STRESSFUL TUNE ON THE VIOLIN)
402
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:20,080
Not now, Svet!
403
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,750
(STOPS PLAYING VIOLIN)
404
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:26,250
Emma, quick!
Scrape dinner off your shirt and onto the plates!
405
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:29,290
This is hilarious!
406
00:18:29,290 --> 00:18:31,420
We're gonna get
a million views!
407
00:18:31,420 --> 00:18:34,880
Ravi, is it supposed to
do that? Yes.
408
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,380
But it is not supposed
to do that! Get me a lid!
409
00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:42,040
Ravi, are you trying to
make food or send smoke signals?
410
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,620
At least my smoke
smells delightful!
411
00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:49,170
Unlike whatever food
you are destroying over there!
412
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,500
You try making meat
that was 90% mold!
413
00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:54,080
Xander, more pepper.
On it.
414
00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,080
Found the lid!
415
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:58,540
(ALL SNEEZE)
416
00:19:00,210 --> 00:19:02,330
(PLOPPING)
417
00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:05,170
I hope snot goes well
with barbecue.
418
00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:07,620
Ding, ding, ding! Time's up!
419
00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:10,290
Utensils down!
(CHUCKLES)
420
00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:12,120
I'm lookin' forward to this.
421
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,170
I've never tasted
a train wreck before.
422
00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:19,250
Okay, first, we have
Lou and Xander's dish.
423
00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:23,210
May cod help us.
424
00:19:23,210 --> 00:19:25,920
Okay, since the barbecue
was overrun by rodents,
425
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,830
I decided to combine
my ingredients and make
426
00:19:27,830 --> 00:19:30,880
what I call,
Lou's Down Home Stew.
427
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,170
Enjoy.
428
00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:38,040
Leapin' lobsters,
I can feel my taste buds dying!
429
00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,620
Uch! The inside of my mouth
is peeling off.
430
00:19:42,290 --> 00:19:44,120
Eh, needs more pepper.
431
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:46,960
Okay,
432
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,580
now that my sight's back,
433
00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:52,330
let's try Ravi and Emma's
dish.
434
00:19:52,330 --> 00:19:55,170
My creation
is a combination of shrimp
435
00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:59,080
parts, accented with
ripe banana foam, and what I hope was a tomato.
436
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,750
Hit it, Svet!
437
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:04,750
(PLAYING VIOLIN)
438
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:11,170
Uchhh! Svetlana,
play the death march, 'cause I think I'm gonna die!
439
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,170
It tastes like chemicals
and low tide!
440
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,040
Eh, needs more pepper.
441
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,210
I declare
442
00:20:24,330 --> 00:20:25,710
all of you losers.
443
00:20:25,710 --> 00:20:28,290
Hey! We worked hard
on this meal.
444
00:20:28,290 --> 00:20:29,790
That's the sad part.
445
00:20:29,790 --> 00:20:32,120
I say we let
the campers decide.
446
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,380
Yeah!
Okay, everyone try my food.
447
00:20:37,330 --> 00:20:38,080
(WRENCHING)
448
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,540
Ha! Now, try mine.
449
00:20:43,250 --> 00:20:44,250
(RETCHING)
450
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,000
We win!
451
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,120
How do you figure that?
452
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:51,290
They spit yours further!
453
00:20:51,290 --> 00:20:54,250
Okay, I think
we all have to admit our food was terrible.
454
00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:57,750
So, now you see
how hard my job is.
455
00:20:57,750 --> 00:21:01,920
Plus you don't have to deal
with Gladys jumpin' outta cabinets and grabbin' at ya!
456
00:21:03,170 --> 00:21:05,330
You're right, Murphy,
and we're sorry.
457
00:21:05,330 --> 00:21:06,880
Especially
about the Gladys thing.
458
00:21:07,540 --> 00:21:09,170
I appreciate that, kids.
459
00:21:09,170 --> 00:21:12,210
And I kinda thought
this might happen, so...
460
00:21:12,210 --> 00:21:13,210
(WHISTLES)
461
00:21:15,210 --> 00:21:18,250
While you guys
were sweatin' like a pig on a spit,
462
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:22,000
I went to town and used
my friend's kitchen to make this.
463
00:21:24,580 --> 00:21:28,420
Murphy, this is amazing!
464
00:21:28,420 --> 00:21:30,500
Yeah, when I have enough money
to buy good ingredients,
465
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:32,460
I can put together
quite the feast.
466
00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:34,290
But how did you afford it?
467
00:21:34,290 --> 00:21:37,000
I used
the camp's entire food budget for the rest of the summer.
468
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,750
Also paid off my scooter.
(LAUGHS)
469
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:41,710
Hey, I had to get
the food here somehow.
470
00:21:42,170 --> 00:21:43,920
So enjoy it,
471
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:48,040
'cause from here on in,
the food is going to get even worse!
472
00:21:52,210 --> 00:21:54,210
ZURI:
Thanks for watching Diced.
473
00:21:54,210 --> 00:21:55,250
I'm Zuri Ross.
474
00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:57,170
And I'm...
Not important.
475
00:22:02,210 --> 00:22:03,960
Well, that was embarrassing.
476
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:08,750
Not as embarrassing
as being chased up a tree by an arthritic Chihuahua.
477
00:22:08,750 --> 00:22:10,880
And our food
was a total disaster.
478
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:14,170
I've never seen
so many campers projectile vomit at once.
479
00:22:14,170 --> 00:22:17,080
I told you
the sawdust would come in handy.
480
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,290
And the worst part is,
our video didn't get any views.
481
00:22:20,290 --> 00:22:22,290
Meanwhile, Ravi's
Chihuahua video
482
00:22:22,290 --> 00:22:23,330
is blowing up again!
483
00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:27,670
So nothing good
came out of this.
484
00:22:27,670 --> 00:22:28,710
(SCOOTER ENGINE RUNNING)
MURPHY: Not true!
485
00:22:30,580 --> 00:22:33,170
Svetlana and I
are going to the Burger Barn.
486
00:22:33,170 --> 00:22:35,120
Come on, Svet.
487
00:22:36,250 --> 00:22:39,290
Oh, and, uh,
hang on tight, baby.
488
00:22:39,290 --> 00:22:41,620
This thing can hit 20
on the straightaways.
489
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,210
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS)
490
00:22:46,260 --> 00:22:50,810
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