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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,439 --> 00:00:31,439 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:34,323 --> 00:00:35,323 THEA: Ready, B? 3 00:00:35,359 --> 00:00:37,128 BILLIE: Ready, T. 4 00:00:37,194 --> 00:00:38,662 THEA: Okay. 5 00:00:38,728 --> 00:00:41,631 BILLIE: This is the story of our most excellent dads. 6 00:00:41,698 --> 00:00:45,102 I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire. 7 00:00:45,168 --> 00:00:47,704 And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan. 8 00:00:48,604 --> 00:00:51,507 BOTH: And we're Wyld Stallyns! 9 00:00:51,575 --> 00:00:54,412 BILLIE: This was probably the first time you saw 'em. 10 00:00:55,279 --> 00:00:57,347 BOTH: Let's rock! 11 00:00:58,414 --> 00:01:01,384 THEA: And this was probably the last. 12 00:01:01,451 --> 00:01:03,386 BILLIE: Not long before we were born, 13 00:01:03,453 --> 00:01:05,133 they were told they were gonna write a song 14 00:01:05,156 --> 00:01:08,392 that was gonna unite the entire world. 15 00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:09,745 THEA: Which they thought they had done 16 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,195 with their hit single... 17 00:01:11,260 --> 00:01:13,496 Those Who Rock. 18 00:01:13,563 --> 00:01:16,332 BILLIE: Not only did it not unite the world, 19 00:01:17,468 --> 00:01:19,370 but the band fell apart. 20 00:01:19,436 --> 00:01:24,008 And our dads, alone now, were trying harder and harder. 21 00:01:24,075 --> 00:01:26,844 THEA: But the problem was, the harder Dads tried... 22 00:01:26,909 --> 00:01:28,311 BILLIE: The less interested 23 00:01:28,378 --> 00:01:30,713 people seemed to be in their music. 24 00:01:30,781 --> 00:01:34,418 THEA: Not only was it wearing on them and on the family... 25 00:01:34,484 --> 00:01:36,052 BILLIE: But the universe they were told 26 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,822 they were gonna bring together... 27 00:01:37,888 --> 00:01:40,057 THEA: Was actually starting to unravel. 28 00:01:40,123 --> 00:01:43,227 BILLIE: Yeah, time was folding in on itself. 29 00:01:43,927 --> 00:01:45,295 It was bad. 30 00:01:45,361 --> 00:01:46,396 What, what? 31 00:01:46,462 --> 00:01:47,563 THEA: Totally, dude. 32 00:01:47,631 --> 00:01:48,765 Make some noise! 33 00:01:48,831 --> 00:01:51,334 (GASPS) 34 00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:56,106 BILLIE: Anyways, this is how we got to where we are now. 35 00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:02,746 BILL: Hello, friends and loved ones. 36 00:02:02,813 --> 00:02:04,781 Let us welcome you, one and all 37 00:02:04,847 --> 00:02:07,951 to this most joyous of occasions! 38 00:02:12,288 --> 00:02:14,890 Ted and I have known Missy in different capacities 39 00:02:14,957 --> 00:02:16,860 for many decades. 40 00:02:16,926 --> 00:02:19,695 First, she was our babysitter when we were ten. 41 00:02:19,763 --> 00:02:21,865 Then we both invited her to the prom 42 00:02:21,931 --> 00:02:23,966 when she was a senior and we were freshmen. 43 00:02:24,033 --> 00:02:25,269 BILL: (SOFTLY) Yeah! 44 00:02:25,335 --> 00:02:27,671 Two years later, she married my dad 45 00:02:27,736 --> 00:02:29,606 and Missy became Mom. 46 00:02:29,673 --> 00:02:33,376 After divorcing Bill's dad, she married my dad 47 00:02:33,443 --> 00:02:35,145 and became my mom. 48 00:02:35,211 --> 00:02:36,478 Yeah. 49 00:02:36,545 --> 00:02:38,414 And now she's marrying Ted's little brother, 50 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,483 Officer Deacon Logan. 51 00:02:41,251 --> 00:02:43,187 (APPLAUSE) 52 00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:45,956 Yeah. 53 00:02:46,522 --> 00:02:48,359 Missy, Bill and I, 54 00:02:48,425 --> 00:02:50,961 along with my beautiful wife, Elizabeth, 55 00:02:51,027 --> 00:02:52,661 and our daughter, Billie... 56 00:02:52,729 --> 00:02:57,434 And my beautiful wife, Joanna, and our daughter, Thea, 57 00:02:57,501 --> 00:02:59,536 all wanna welcome you back... 58 00:02:59,602 --> 00:03:01,472 BOTH: With open arms. 59 00:03:01,538 --> 00:03:03,340 (APPLAUSE) 60 00:03:04,441 --> 00:03:05,908 This happy event would seem to make 61 00:03:05,975 --> 00:03:07,677 Deacon his own father-in-law 62 00:03:07,743 --> 00:03:09,180 and Ted his own uncle. 63 00:03:09,246 --> 00:03:12,983 Not to mention making my dad his own son. 64 00:03:13,049 --> 00:03:14,551 (SCATTERED CHUCKLING) 65 00:03:14,616 --> 00:03:16,171 BILL: And with that beautiful thought in mind, 66 00:03:16,186 --> 00:03:17,754 for your first dance, 67 00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:20,824 we wish to present you with a matrimonial offering. 68 00:03:20,890 --> 00:03:22,691 A sneak peek at the world premiere 69 00:03:22,758 --> 00:03:24,460 of our newest sonic creation. 70 00:03:24,527 --> 00:03:26,162 We're not sure if this is going to be 71 00:03:26,229 --> 00:03:28,131 the song that unites the world. 72 00:03:28,198 --> 00:03:29,599 We're pretty sure it might. 73 00:03:29,665 --> 00:03:32,468 - At least we hope. - Yeah. 74 00:03:34,604 --> 00:03:36,439 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 75 00:03:38,908 --> 00:03:43,146 Sure to be another real doozy from the Wyld Stallyns. 76 00:03:43,212 --> 00:03:44,513 BILL: Check one, two. 77 00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:46,649 (SIGHS) Let's dance, Freaky Deaky. 78 00:03:46,717 --> 00:03:48,953 (BOTH MOANING) 79 00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:52,288 You got it, Kissy Missy. 80 00:03:52,354 --> 00:03:54,657 Oh, shh. Your dad used to call me that. 81 00:03:54,724 --> 00:03:56,192 Totally aware of that, babe. 82 00:03:56,258 --> 00:03:58,961 Please enjoy the first three movements of... 83 00:03:59,028 --> 00:04:01,497 That Which Binds Us Through Time... 84 00:04:01,564 --> 00:04:06,736 The Chemical, Physical, and Biological Nature of Love... 85 00:04:06,802 --> 00:04:11,307 An Exploration of the Meaning of Meaning. 86 00:04:11,375 --> 00:04:13,509 Part One. 87 00:04:13,576 --> 00:04:15,512 (ALL APPLAUDING) 88 00:04:15,579 --> 00:04:17,713 (BOTH CLEARING THROATS) 89 00:04:17,781 --> 00:04:20,750 - Ready, Bill? - Ready, Ted. 90 00:04:20,817 --> 00:04:22,084 - One. - Two. 91 00:04:22,151 --> 00:04:24,254 BOTH: One, two, three, four. 92 00:04:24,321 --> 00:04:26,657 (WARBLING) 93 00:05:11,901 --> 00:05:14,437 (CONTINUES WARBLING) 94 00:05:15,605 --> 00:05:17,374 (SCOFFS) 95 00:05:22,178 --> 00:05:24,347 Dad, I've told you a thousand times, 96 00:05:24,415 --> 00:05:26,617 Bill and I have to keep going till... 97 00:05:26,682 --> 00:05:29,519 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Till your music unites the world. 98 00:05:29,586 --> 00:05:32,422 Chief Logan, the people in the future told us... 99 00:05:32,488 --> 00:05:33,842 Bill, Bill, Bill, you didn't time-travel. 100 00:05:33,857 --> 00:05:35,259 TED: We did. 101 00:05:35,324 --> 00:05:36,894 Your wives aren't from medieval England. 102 00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:38,361 BILL: They are. 103 00:05:38,427 --> 00:05:39,362 LOGAN: And you didn't go to Heaven and Hell. 104 00:05:39,428 --> 00:05:40,428 We did! 105 00:05:40,463 --> 00:05:41,549 - You didn't! - BILL: We did! 106 00:05:41,564 --> 00:05:42,764 And you know why? 107 00:05:42,831 --> 00:05:46,336 Because it's impossible. 108 00:05:46,401 --> 00:05:48,971 Here's a real idea for you two. 109 00:05:49,038 --> 00:05:50,473 Here it comes, dude. 110 00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:52,309 Get real jobs. 111 00:05:52,375 --> 00:05:55,111 Be role models to your daughters. 112 00:05:55,177 --> 00:05:56,945 Oh, never mind. 113 00:05:57,012 --> 00:05:58,180 You are. 114 00:05:58,247 --> 00:06:00,149 They're 24, they live at home 115 00:06:00,216 --> 00:06:01,984 and they're unemployed. 116 00:06:02,052 --> 00:06:03,754 You remember when you used to call them. 117 00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:05,055 "Little Bill," "Little Ted"? 118 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:06,789 We thought it was cute, Gramps. 119 00:06:06,855 --> 00:06:08,190 BILL: Hey. 120 00:06:08,257 --> 00:06:10,159 Yeah. Well, it turned out to be a curse. 121 00:06:10,226 --> 00:06:13,362 All I ever see them do is sit around, listen to music. 122 00:06:13,430 --> 00:06:14,930 That is our primary activity, 123 00:06:14,997 --> 00:06:16,432 - definitely. - Yeah. 124 00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:17,567 You guys okay? 125 00:06:17,634 --> 00:06:19,169 Joanna, Elizabeth, 126 00:06:19,235 --> 00:06:20,870 how do you feel about being 127 00:06:20,937 --> 00:06:22,872 the only adults in your families? 128 00:06:22,939 --> 00:06:26,910 The only ones with actual jobs? 129 00:06:26,976 --> 00:06:28,411 Let's pack up. 130 00:06:28,478 --> 00:06:30,579 - JOANNA: Don't listen to him. - TED: Ouch. 131 00:06:31,447 --> 00:06:33,348 I really appreciate you doing this. 132 00:06:33,415 --> 00:06:34,783 I know it wasn't your choice. 133 00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:36,286 Of course, Jo. 134 00:06:36,353 --> 00:06:37,972 I really want this to work for both of us. 135 00:06:37,987 --> 00:06:39,422 Yeah. 136 00:06:39,488 --> 00:06:41,057 Oh, hey. 137 00:06:41,124 --> 00:06:42,492 How's it goin', dude? 138 00:06:42,559 --> 00:06:43,594 Good, dude. 139 00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:44,847 - ELIZABETH: Hi! - TED: Hey, Jo. 140 00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,129 Oh, no, no. 141 00:06:46,196 --> 00:06:47,797 I'm sorry, is this the right day? 142 00:06:47,863 --> 00:06:49,599 (CHUCKLING) Yeah, totally. 143 00:06:49,665 --> 00:06:52,735 So, do you understand why this situation 144 00:06:52,802 --> 00:06:56,173 might seem at all strange to your wives? 145 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,742 No. Not at all. Why? 146 00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:02,445 Well, when your wives suggested couples therapy, 147 00:07:02,512 --> 00:07:05,482 do you think that this is what they had in mind? 148 00:07:05,548 --> 00:07:06,782 Well, definitely. 149 00:07:06,850 --> 00:07:09,052 I mean, we're a couple of couples, right? 150 00:07:09,119 --> 00:07:10,520 - That is true. - Yeah. 151 00:07:10,586 --> 00:07:13,689 But usually, with couples therapy, 152 00:07:13,755 --> 00:07:14,957 it just means one couple. 153 00:07:15,024 --> 00:07:16,125 That makes sense. 154 00:07:16,192 --> 00:07:17,627 Yeah. (CHUCKLES) 155 00:07:17,694 --> 00:07:19,247 DR. WOOD: Well, but, you know, we're here, 156 00:07:19,262 --> 00:07:20,697 so let's work with that. 157 00:07:20,764 --> 00:07:21,898 - Yes? - BILL: Yeah. 158 00:07:21,964 --> 00:07:23,532 Okay, great. 159 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:24,600 Um... 160 00:07:24,668 --> 00:07:26,903 Ted, is there something you feel 161 00:07:26,970 --> 00:07:28,805 your wife needs to hear from you? 162 00:07:28,872 --> 00:07:31,074 Yeah. Totally. 163 00:07:32,742 --> 00:07:34,811 We love you guys. 164 00:07:34,877 --> 00:07:37,546 Ah, that is good, dude. 165 00:07:38,081 --> 00:07:39,415 DR. WOOD: In a way, yes. 166 00:07:39,482 --> 00:07:42,119 I mean, it is great to feel loved. 167 00:07:42,185 --> 00:07:44,454 But do you understand 168 00:07:44,521 --> 00:07:47,390 how that might sound strange to your wives? 169 00:07:47,456 --> 00:07:49,293 I'll shoot this at Bill. 170 00:07:50,026 --> 00:07:51,026 No. 171 00:07:51,093 --> 00:07:52,295 I mean, we love 'em. 172 00:07:52,362 --> 00:07:54,164 DR. WOOD: Oh. "We love them." 173 00:07:54,230 --> 00:07:55,932 - Yeah. - Yeah. We do. 174 00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:58,300 Okay. It's the "we" part. 175 00:07:58,367 --> 00:08:01,404 Um... Ted, can you say the same thing, 176 00:08:01,471 --> 00:08:05,274 but instead of "we," say "I" in the sentence. 177 00:08:05,341 --> 00:08:07,877 - Oh. Yeah. - DR. WOOD: Okay. 178 00:08:07,944 --> 00:08:09,446 Of course. (CHUCKLES) 179 00:08:09,512 --> 00:08:10,447 Okay. 180 00:08:10,512 --> 00:08:11,981 - Elizabeth? - ELIZABETH: Yes. 181 00:08:12,048 --> 00:08:15,185 I and Bill love you and Joanna. 182 00:08:15,252 --> 00:08:16,552 ELIZABETH: Okay. 183 00:08:16,619 --> 00:08:18,222 (WHISPERS) Dude, with all due respect, 184 00:08:18,288 --> 00:08:19,574 I don't think you're quite getting this. 185 00:08:19,589 --> 00:08:20,923 (WHISPERS) Go for it, dude. 186 00:08:20,990 --> 00:08:21,990 Okay. 187 00:08:22,057 --> 00:08:23,259 I'm gonna do one. 188 00:08:23,326 --> 00:08:25,195 Yes, go for it, dude. 189 00:08:25,261 --> 00:08:26,897 - Great. - Okay. 190 00:08:26,963 --> 00:08:28,298 (CLEARS THROAT) 191 00:08:28,365 --> 00:08:30,400 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 192 00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:32,101 - Joanna? - Mmm-hmm? 193 00:08:32,168 --> 00:08:35,038 From the very, very bottom of I 194 00:08:35,105 --> 00:08:37,440 and Ted's hearts, 195 00:08:37,506 --> 00:08:43,211 I and Ted totally love and worship you 196 00:08:43,278 --> 00:08:44,914 and Elizabeth. 197 00:08:46,716 --> 00:08:47,783 Perfect, dude. 198 00:08:47,850 --> 00:08:49,753 Ah, awesome, dude, thanks. 199 00:08:50,854 --> 00:08:56,360 Joanna, would you or Elizabeth like to respond to that? 200 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:58,861 Oh, well... 201 00:08:58,928 --> 00:09:00,196 Would you... 202 00:09:00,263 --> 00:09:04,066 Well, it has been tough for us. 203 00:09:04,133 --> 00:09:05,536 At home. 204 00:09:05,601 --> 00:09:07,803 You know, it's been so hard watching you 205 00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:11,674 beat your heads against the wall for 25 years 206 00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:13,744 and I'm not sure how much longer 207 00:09:13,809 --> 00:09:16,212 we can keep going on like this. 208 00:09:16,279 --> 00:09:18,514 What? 209 00:09:22,052 --> 00:09:23,653 DR. WOOD: Well... 210 00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:26,188 Bill, Ted, 211 00:09:26,255 --> 00:09:28,190 I'd love to spend the last part 212 00:09:28,256 --> 00:09:31,227 of this session with your wives. 213 00:09:31,894 --> 00:09:33,295 Alone? 214 00:09:33,363 --> 00:09:35,832 Yes, alone. 215 00:09:35,899 --> 00:09:37,234 (WHISPERS) Right. Okay. 216 00:09:37,301 --> 00:09:40,570 JOANNA: We'll see you at home, okay? 217 00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:43,639 ELIZABETH: Okay. All right, then. 218 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:45,875 Oh, yeah. 219 00:09:45,942 --> 00:09:46,942 Yeah. 220 00:09:47,009 --> 00:09:48,477 (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) 221 00:09:49,578 --> 00:09:51,847 (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) 222 00:09:51,914 --> 00:09:54,583 TED: Dude, did you know they felt that way? 223 00:09:54,650 --> 00:09:56,785 BILL: We have to fix this. 224 00:09:57,620 --> 00:10:00,155 The thing is, they're right, Bill. 225 00:10:00,222 --> 00:10:01,625 They're princesses. 226 00:10:01,692 --> 00:10:03,058 Yeah. 227 00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:04,812 We pulled them out of their lives to be here with us. 228 00:10:04,827 --> 00:10:07,663 And they didn't come all this way for this. 229 00:10:07,730 --> 00:10:10,267 That's why we gotta keep working, dude. 230 00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:12,101 But isn't that the problem? 231 00:10:12,168 --> 00:10:13,235 Yeah. 232 00:10:13,302 --> 00:10:15,203 But it's also the solution. 233 00:10:15,270 --> 00:10:17,306 Yeah. I guess. 234 00:10:17,374 --> 00:10:19,542 - (MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS) - (THEA SCATTING) 235 00:10:19,609 --> 00:10:21,110 Dude, this is transcendent. 236 00:10:21,177 --> 00:10:22,479 Is this Fillmore '66? 237 00:10:22,544 --> 00:10:23,947 No, Monterey Pop, '67. 238 00:10:24,013 --> 00:10:26,016 That second sound check where they did that riff 239 00:10:26,081 --> 00:10:27,350 on Amazing Grace. 240 00:10:27,417 --> 00:10:29,085 BOTH: How's it goin', Dads? 241 00:10:29,152 --> 00:10:30,419 BOTH: How's it goin', girls? 242 00:10:30,485 --> 00:10:31,787 BILLIE: How was therapy? 243 00:10:31,854 --> 00:10:33,456 - (MUSIC STOPS) - It went okay. Yeah. 244 00:10:33,523 --> 00:10:35,759 Hey, Dad, by the way, Gramps was wrong. 245 00:10:35,825 --> 00:10:38,194 The wedding song was most luminous. 246 00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:40,129 Oh, thank you, B. 247 00:10:40,196 --> 00:10:41,431 Glad you dug it, Billie. 248 00:10:41,496 --> 00:10:42,931 THEA: No, seriously, Uncle Ted, 249 00:10:42,999 --> 00:10:44,668 when did you get so excellent on theremin? 250 00:10:44,735 --> 00:10:47,137 Your playing rivaled, and I'm not kidding, 251 00:10:47,202 --> 00:10:48,471 Clara Rockmore. 252 00:10:48,538 --> 00:10:50,005 Aw, thanks, T. 253 00:10:50,072 --> 00:10:52,775 Clara Rockmore was definitely an inspiration. 254 00:10:52,842 --> 00:10:53,842 Yeah. 255 00:10:53,876 --> 00:10:55,144 - And, Uncle Bill! - BILL: Yeah. 256 00:10:55,211 --> 00:10:56,511 The throat singing, I mean, 257 00:10:56,578 --> 00:10:59,014 it was a whole new level of eloquence. 258 00:10:59,081 --> 00:11:01,216 Some serious buga khoomei. 259 00:11:01,283 --> 00:11:02,785 Whoa. 260 00:11:02,851 --> 00:11:05,721 Your musical acumen is most impressive, girls. 261 00:11:08,691 --> 00:11:09,992 Hey, Dad, good luck on the song. 262 00:11:10,058 --> 00:11:11,528 You got this. 263 00:11:23,539 --> 00:11:25,574 What is it, Ted? 264 00:11:26,442 --> 00:11:28,144 Liz is right. 265 00:11:28,211 --> 00:11:32,380 We have been banging our heads against a wall for 25 years. 266 00:11:32,447 --> 00:11:34,917 And I'm tired, dude. 267 00:11:34,984 --> 00:11:36,418 Ted. 268 00:11:36,485 --> 00:11:38,855 We have a destiny to fulfill. 269 00:11:38,921 --> 00:11:40,123 TED: Yeah. 270 00:11:40,190 --> 00:11:43,025 And think about our fans, dude. 271 00:11:43,926 --> 00:11:46,797 Bob and Wendy will totally understand. 272 00:11:46,863 --> 00:11:50,734 Eileen we haven't heard from for several years. 273 00:11:51,466 --> 00:11:53,870 (SIGHS) Bill? 274 00:11:53,937 --> 00:11:55,471 What? 275 00:11:56,806 --> 00:12:00,744 I went into Cyrus Adler Music yesterday. 276 00:12:00,811 --> 00:12:04,681 He said he'd give me $6,400 for the Les Paul. 277 00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:09,785 Are you saying... 278 00:12:12,188 --> 00:12:13,889 Yeah. 279 00:12:15,091 --> 00:12:16,826 I think I am. 280 00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:21,731 Yeah. 281 00:12:24,033 --> 00:12:25,668 BOTH: Yeah. 282 00:12:29,538 --> 00:12:31,508 BOTH: Whoa! 283 00:12:32,908 --> 00:12:34,577 Dude! Dude! 284 00:12:35,044 --> 00:12:36,578 It's the future! 285 00:12:36,645 --> 00:12:40,015 Greetings, my excellent friends. 286 00:12:40,081 --> 00:12:41,951 Do we know you? 287 00:12:43,019 --> 00:12:44,320 I'm Kelly. 288 00:12:44,386 --> 00:12:46,989 Wait, you're Rufus' daughter! 289 00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:48,457 I am. 290 00:12:48,524 --> 00:12:50,404 And I've been wanting to meet you my whole life. 291 00:12:50,426 --> 00:12:52,427 It must be very disappointing. 292 00:12:52,495 --> 00:12:54,297 Not at all. 293 00:12:54,364 --> 00:12:56,066 We have a problem, gentlemen. 294 00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:59,002 Potentially, a very serious problem. 295 00:12:59,068 --> 00:13:00,469 About the music? 296 00:13:00,535 --> 00:13:03,438 About the music. They just wanna talk to you. 297 00:13:03,505 --> 00:13:05,507 Mmm-hmm. 298 00:13:05,575 --> 00:13:08,311 Dude, I got a very bad feeling about this. 299 00:13:08,378 --> 00:13:09,846 It'll be fine, Ted. 300 00:13:09,912 --> 00:13:12,883 They totally love us in the future, dude. 301 00:13:20,289 --> 00:13:21,656 BOTH: Whoa! 302 00:13:21,724 --> 00:13:24,326 Dude, our dads are totally in trouble. 303 00:13:24,393 --> 00:13:25,729 I feel so bad for 'em. 304 00:13:25,796 --> 00:13:27,148 They've been doing this on their own 305 00:13:27,163 --> 00:13:28,398 for the longest time. 306 00:13:28,464 --> 00:13:29,665 Yeah, I wish there was some way 307 00:13:29,731 --> 00:13:30,632 we could help 'em out, you know? 308 00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:33,970 Yeah. But how? 309 00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:41,812 BOTH: Whoa! 310 00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:09,572 - Dude. - Yeah? 311 00:14:09,639 --> 00:14:10,940 The future. 312 00:14:11,006 --> 00:14:12,475 Yeah. 313 00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,752 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 314 00:14:25,587 --> 00:14:27,089 BOTH: Rufus. 315 00:14:28,291 --> 00:14:31,260 (OVER SPEAKERS) Greetings, my excellent friends. 316 00:14:31,326 --> 00:14:33,380 What you're looking at is the original phone booth... 317 00:14:33,395 --> 00:14:35,030 Gentlemen? 318 00:14:35,097 --> 00:14:37,266 ...that I used on my first visit to the Great Ones 319 00:14:37,332 --> 00:14:39,534 way back in 1989. 320 00:14:39,601 --> 00:14:41,203 The prophecy tells us... 321 00:14:51,081 --> 00:14:53,115 THE GREAT LEADER: (ECHOING) Bill and Ted. 322 00:14:55,485 --> 00:14:57,220 Step forward. 323 00:15:04,394 --> 00:15:06,028 How's it goin'... 324 00:15:06,096 --> 00:15:07,363 Great Ones? 325 00:15:07,429 --> 00:15:08,798 It's, uh... 326 00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:11,100 It's good to be back. 327 00:15:11,167 --> 00:15:13,970 What have you got to say for yourselves? 328 00:15:17,974 --> 00:15:19,442 Be... 329 00:15:19,509 --> 00:15:21,576 excellent to each other. 330 00:15:21,644 --> 00:15:23,379 And party on, dudes. 331 00:15:23,446 --> 00:15:25,048 Yeah. 332 00:15:25,681 --> 00:15:27,850 Twenty-five years ago, 333 00:15:27,917 --> 00:15:30,586 Wyld Stallyns played a concert 334 00:15:30,653 --> 00:15:32,388 at the Grand Canyon. 335 00:15:32,455 --> 00:15:34,456 That's true. 336 00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:36,525 One month ago, 337 00:15:36,591 --> 00:15:38,126 you played the Elks Lodge 338 00:15:38,193 --> 00:15:40,329 in Barstow, California, for 40 people, 339 00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:43,899 most of whom were there only because it was $2 taco night, 340 00:15:43,966 --> 00:15:45,600 whatever the hell that means. 341 00:15:45,668 --> 00:15:48,871 - Well, yeah. We did! - Yeah. We did! 342 00:15:50,806 --> 00:15:55,045 You were supposed to unite the world in song. 343 00:16:00,383 --> 00:16:02,084 According to her father, 344 00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:05,587 a song created by Preston/Logan... 345 00:16:05,654 --> 00:16:07,089 (WHISPERS) That's us, dude. 346 00:16:07,157 --> 00:16:11,259 ...at a concert performed by everyone in the band 347 00:16:11,326 --> 00:16:13,495 at 7:17 p.m. 348 00:16:13,562 --> 00:16:15,664 at MP 46, 349 00:16:15,730 --> 00:16:17,866 that's tonight, 350 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:20,536 will save reality as we know it, 351 00:16:20,602 --> 00:16:24,940 uniting humanity across all time. 352 00:16:25,508 --> 00:16:26,743 Wait... 353 00:16:26,808 --> 00:16:28,677 I'm sorry. 354 00:16:28,745 --> 00:16:30,312 What? 355 00:16:30,379 --> 00:16:32,480 Did you say, 356 00:16:32,548 --> 00:16:35,750 "Reality as we know it"? 357 00:16:35,817 --> 00:16:37,886 ALL: (ECHOES) Yes! 358 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:45,894 BOTH: Oh. 359 00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:52,168 BOTH: Whoa. 360 00:16:53,369 --> 00:16:55,971 THE GREAT LEADER: We need to hear the song 361 00:16:56,038 --> 00:17:00,109 in 77 minutes and 25 seconds. 362 00:17:00,176 --> 00:17:03,379 You have everything you require. 363 00:17:03,446 --> 00:17:05,781 Get to work. 364 00:17:06,648 --> 00:17:09,417 Dude, they totally hate us. 365 00:17:09,484 --> 00:17:12,587 (SIGHS) And I've never even heard of MP 46. 366 00:17:12,654 --> 00:17:14,257 Yeah. 367 00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:15,825 Kelly! 368 00:17:16,526 --> 00:17:19,062 How does a song save reality? 369 00:17:19,128 --> 00:17:21,996 That I can't tell you, but it has to. 370 00:17:22,064 --> 00:17:23,932 Somehow. 371 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,301 The Great Turntable is tipping. 372 00:17:26,368 --> 00:17:29,504 That there is the center of space and time. 373 00:17:29,571 --> 00:17:33,308 San Dimas 700 years ago, 7:17 p.m. 374 00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:35,610 My father believed that the song 375 00:17:35,678 --> 00:17:37,580 could be the nexus point that brings 376 00:17:37,646 --> 00:17:39,347 humanity into rhythm and harmony. 377 00:17:39,414 --> 00:17:41,017 How? 378 00:17:41,083 --> 00:17:43,036 KELLY: We only discovered this recently, but without it, 379 00:17:43,051 --> 00:17:44,753 reality will collapse, 380 00:17:44,820 --> 00:17:47,790 and time and space will cease to exist. 381 00:17:48,891 --> 00:17:51,728 So until 7:17 p.m... 382 00:17:51,794 --> 00:17:53,461 Anything is possible. 383 00:17:53,528 --> 00:17:55,364 And after 7:17 p.m.? 384 00:17:55,431 --> 00:18:00,269 Without the song, there is no after 7:17 p.m. 385 00:18:06,442 --> 00:18:09,411 This was my dad's. He'd want you to have it. 386 00:18:09,478 --> 00:18:13,048 It'll help keep track of the time in San Dimas. 387 00:18:16,152 --> 00:18:17,853 (TICKING) 388 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,923 TED: "Sometimes things don't make sense..." 389 00:18:20,990 --> 00:18:24,794 "...until the end of the story." 390 00:18:24,859 --> 00:18:27,296 That's what my dad always said. 391 00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:30,233 I'll leave you to it? 392 00:18:40,576 --> 00:18:41,644 (BOTH EXHALE DEEPLY) 393 00:18:41,711 --> 00:18:43,312 Okay. 394 00:18:43,378 --> 00:18:44,847 Now alls we gotta do 395 00:18:44,913 --> 00:18:46,915 is write the greatest song ever written. 396 00:18:46,982 --> 00:18:50,685 That brings the entire world into rhythm and harmony. 397 00:18:50,752 --> 00:18:53,855 And saves reality as we know it. 398 00:18:53,923 --> 00:18:55,825 All through... 399 00:18:56,392 --> 00:18:58,027 time. 400 00:19:01,131 --> 00:19:01,964 Dude. 401 00:19:02,030 --> 00:19:03,633 We've spent our whole life 402 00:19:03,699 --> 00:19:06,101 trying to write the song that will unite the world. 403 00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:09,170 What makes us think we can write it in, like, 75 minutes? 404 00:19:09,238 --> 00:19:11,039 Ted, we had to have written that song. 405 00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:13,442 The people in the future told us we did. 406 00:19:13,509 --> 00:19:15,377 Yeah. I guess. 407 00:19:15,444 --> 00:19:18,513 Which means we have it in us, dude. 408 00:19:18,580 --> 00:19:20,915 Maybe we just haven't written it yet. 409 00:19:20,982 --> 00:19:22,417 Maybe we're still gonna. 410 00:19:22,484 --> 00:19:24,152 Well, if we haven't written it yet, 411 00:19:24,220 --> 00:19:26,622 but we know we're gonna at some point, 412 00:19:26,689 --> 00:19:28,824 why can't we just go to the future 413 00:19:28,891 --> 00:19:30,993 when we have written it? 414 00:19:31,059 --> 00:19:33,229 And take it from ourselves! 415 00:19:33,296 --> 00:19:34,963 Yeah! 416 00:19:35,029 --> 00:19:36,898 Ted! You have had many 417 00:19:36,965 --> 00:19:39,067 counterintuitive ideas over the years, 418 00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:40,537 but this is by far 419 00:19:40,603 --> 00:19:43,273 the counterintuitivest of them all, dude! 420 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,876 Except, won't that be stealing? 421 00:19:49,478 --> 00:19:51,346 How is that stealing 422 00:19:51,413 --> 00:19:54,817 if we're stealing it from ourselves, dude? 423 00:19:55,584 --> 00:19:57,821 - Yeah. - Yeah. 424 00:20:00,256 --> 00:20:02,192 BILL: I hope it still works. 425 00:20:02,258 --> 00:20:03,593 TED: Yeah. 426 00:20:06,028 --> 00:20:08,463 How far into our future do you think we gotta go? 427 00:20:08,530 --> 00:20:11,099 It depends on when we think we wrote that song. 428 00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:14,269 Let's be conservative. Say, two years? 429 00:20:14,336 --> 00:20:15,538 Sounds good, Ted. 430 00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:16,971 Then, once we get the song, 431 00:20:17,038 --> 00:20:19,142 we'll go back home to right before we left. 432 00:20:20,976 --> 00:20:22,378 And then what? 433 00:20:22,443 --> 00:20:26,048 Unite the world and save reality, dude. 434 00:20:27,249 --> 00:20:30,153 (MACHINE POWERING UP) 435 00:20:30,220 --> 00:20:32,288 - Bill, my friend. - Yes, Ted, my friend? 436 00:20:32,355 --> 00:20:34,556 I have a feeling things are about to change 437 00:20:34,623 --> 00:20:35,958 in a most outstanding way. 438 00:20:36,025 --> 00:20:38,194 I could not agree more. 439 00:20:40,529 --> 00:20:41,830 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 440 00:20:41,897 --> 00:20:43,398 (ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFF PLAYS) 441 00:20:47,903 --> 00:20:49,972 (BOTH GRUNTING) 442 00:20:54,777 --> 00:20:56,446 (BOTH SCREAMING) 443 00:21:00,682 --> 00:21:01,718 You okay, dude? 444 00:21:01,784 --> 00:21:03,286 Yeah. You? 445 00:21:03,353 --> 00:21:04,720 Yeah. 446 00:21:04,787 --> 00:21:06,706 Let's go say hello to ourselves and get that song. 447 00:21:06,721 --> 00:21:08,691 It's a rusty bucket, dude. 448 00:21:08,758 --> 00:21:11,527 50-YEAR-OLD BILL AND TED: (SINGING) To those who rock. 449 00:21:11,594 --> 00:21:12,894 Over here, dude. 450 00:21:12,961 --> 00:21:14,115 They say we're talking the talk. 451 00:21:14,130 --> 00:21:15,564 But we're walking the walk. 452 00:21:15,631 --> 00:21:18,567 BILL: Wait. We're playing Those Who Rock? 453 00:21:18,634 --> 00:21:19,734 Here? 454 00:21:19,801 --> 00:21:20,903 ...rock, yeah! 455 00:21:20,970 --> 00:21:24,007 We are those who rock. 456 00:21:24,073 --> 00:21:25,107 Everybody! 457 00:21:25,173 --> 00:21:27,576 We are those who rock. 458 00:21:27,643 --> 00:21:28,677 Clap your hands now! 459 00:21:28,743 --> 00:21:31,780 We are those who rock. 460 00:21:31,846 --> 00:21:33,214 Yeah, rock! 461 00:21:33,281 --> 00:21:35,417 Oh, dude, that's us! 462 00:21:39,288 --> 00:21:40,890 Don't look and they won't see us, dude! 463 00:21:40,957 --> 00:21:43,325 Bill, wait! 464 00:21:43,392 --> 00:21:46,128 50-YEAR-OLD BILL: Go, go, go! 465 00:21:46,194 --> 00:21:48,931 - Almost at the van! - Hey, us's, stop! 466 00:21:48,998 --> 00:21:51,100 (BOTH GROAN) 467 00:21:52,534 --> 00:21:54,136 Oh, hello! 468 00:21:54,202 --> 00:21:55,903 We totally forgot you were coming. 469 00:21:55,971 --> 00:21:57,707 - Yeah. - How great to see you. 470 00:21:57,773 --> 00:22:01,809 What are you talking about? You totally ran away from us. 471 00:22:01,876 --> 00:22:04,446 Look, guys, we know exactly what you're thinking. 472 00:22:04,512 --> 00:22:07,015 Why would we be playing Open Mic Night at 6:15 p.m. 473 00:22:07,083 --> 00:22:10,886 when, in fact, we have become such huge rock stars again. 474 00:22:10,952 --> 00:22:12,187 Yeah. 475 00:22:12,253 --> 00:22:13,373 50-YEAR-OLD TED: Here's the answer. 476 00:22:13,388 --> 00:22:14,823 - Yeah. - Us being here 477 00:22:14,890 --> 00:22:16,859 is humorously ironic. 478 00:22:16,925 --> 00:22:18,694 Do you believe us? 479 00:22:19,595 --> 00:22:20,596 No. 480 00:22:20,663 --> 00:22:21,931 Not at all. 481 00:22:21,998 --> 00:22:24,334 Well, I feel sorry for you, then. 482 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,535 (SIGHS) Dude, I think we came too early. 483 00:22:26,602 --> 00:22:29,839 These other us's don't have the song. 484 00:22:29,905 --> 00:22:31,292 Why don't you go write it yourselves 485 00:22:31,307 --> 00:22:34,543 instead of trying to steal it from us? 486 00:22:34,609 --> 00:22:37,645 You're the one who couldn't write it, Ted. 487 00:22:37,712 --> 00:22:39,314 (SCOFFS) 488 00:22:39,381 --> 00:22:44,019 Well, you're the one who lost his wife, Ted. 489 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:45,788 BOTH: What? 490 00:22:45,855 --> 00:22:47,221 What are you talking about? 491 00:22:47,288 --> 00:22:50,326 (CHUCKLES) Here's what happened, Bill. 492 00:22:50,392 --> 00:22:52,260 After you failed couples therapy, 493 00:22:52,327 --> 00:22:55,230 Liz and Jo were visited by other thems from the future 494 00:22:55,298 --> 00:22:56,632 who gave them a phone booth 495 00:22:56,699 --> 00:22:58,768 and sent them all through time and space 496 00:22:58,834 --> 00:23:00,335 looking for just one life 497 00:23:00,402 --> 00:23:02,004 where they could be happy with you! 498 00:23:02,069 --> 00:23:03,405 50-YEAR-OLD TED: And guess what? 499 00:23:03,472 --> 00:23:05,440 BOTH: They didn't find one! 500 00:23:05,507 --> 00:23:07,476 And now we've been alone for two years 501 00:23:07,542 --> 00:23:10,478 'cause you sent our wives away. 502 00:23:10,546 --> 00:23:11,947 BOTH: No way. 503 00:23:12,013 --> 00:23:13,514 BOTH: Yes way! 504 00:23:13,582 --> 00:23:15,551 Our wives have been gone for two years 505 00:23:15,617 --> 00:23:17,785 and you didn't do anything about it? 506 00:23:17,853 --> 00:23:19,255 Oh, you did, all right. 507 00:23:19,321 --> 00:23:21,489 You went back and you made it worse! 508 00:23:21,557 --> 00:23:23,224 50-YEAR-OLD TED: And guess what else? 509 00:23:23,291 --> 00:23:25,493 Your daughters won't even talk to you. 510 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:26,560 What? 511 00:23:26,596 --> 00:23:28,630 - You're a dick, Ted. - (SCOFFS) 512 00:23:28,696 --> 00:23:31,399 - You want a piece of me, Ted? - Ted, he's not worth it! 513 00:23:31,467 --> 00:23:34,003 Hey! He's not worth it, dude. We gotta go. 514 00:23:34,068 --> 00:23:37,605 Yeah! And save our marriages. 515 00:23:37,673 --> 00:23:39,342 Losers! Has-beens! 516 00:23:39,407 --> 00:23:41,195 - TED: Whatever! - Stop fighting with yourself! 517 00:23:41,210 --> 00:23:42,644 Flashes in the pans! 518 00:23:42,711 --> 00:23:44,231 50-YEAR-OLD BILL: Stop fighting with yourself! 519 00:23:44,246 --> 00:23:46,482 (GRUNTING) 520 00:23:47,883 --> 00:23:49,451 That did not go well. 521 00:23:49,518 --> 00:23:52,788 Yeah. And your you is a very contentious dickweed. 522 00:23:52,855 --> 00:23:55,658 Bill, we gotta go back and talk with Liz and Jo. 523 00:23:55,724 --> 00:23:57,292 On it, dude. 524 00:23:58,928 --> 00:24:01,330 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 525 00:24:04,365 --> 00:24:08,135 Please, Mother, Dad said Preston/Logan 526 00:24:08,202 --> 00:24:10,306 and everyone in the band will unite... 527 00:24:10,373 --> 00:24:13,042 I remember what he said. Every word. 528 00:24:13,108 --> 00:24:14,710 Well, then, give them a chance. 529 00:24:14,777 --> 00:24:16,112 I gave them a chance 530 00:24:16,179 --> 00:24:17,846 and everything they could possibly need, 531 00:24:17,913 --> 00:24:19,682 but they bolted. 532 00:24:20,782 --> 00:24:22,317 Kelly, 533 00:24:22,384 --> 00:24:24,237 you know your father and I agreed on everything, 534 00:24:24,252 --> 00:24:26,187 but there are other interpretations 535 00:24:26,255 --> 00:24:28,157 of the information he was acting on. 536 00:24:28,223 --> 00:24:29,758 I'm aware of that. 537 00:24:29,825 --> 00:24:32,394 Many on the council believe that it is, in fact, 538 00:24:32,461 --> 00:24:34,229 the death of Bill and Ted 539 00:24:34,296 --> 00:24:36,765 that will bring the new epoch. 540 00:24:36,832 --> 00:24:39,935 Well, I disagree with that completely! 541 00:24:40,001 --> 00:24:41,569 That's atrocious! 542 00:24:41,636 --> 00:24:44,438 Well, maybe someday when you're the Great Leader, 543 00:24:44,506 --> 00:24:45,975 you can make the decisions 544 00:24:46,041 --> 00:24:48,209 that will affect all time and space. 545 00:24:48,277 --> 00:24:50,979 You could just say "Leader." 546 00:24:51,046 --> 00:24:52,581 - So pretentious. - Is it ready? 547 00:24:52,647 --> 00:24:55,750 LEAD SCIENTIST: Yes, Great Leader. It should be. 548 00:24:55,817 --> 00:24:56,837 THE GREAT LEADER: "Should be"? 549 00:24:56,852 --> 00:24:58,053 LEAD SCIENTIST: Is. 550 00:24:58,119 --> 00:24:59,954 Madam. 551 00:25:00,020 --> 00:25:02,258 Do you know who I am? 552 00:25:03,192 --> 00:25:06,295 Yes, Great Leader. 553 00:25:11,866 --> 00:25:13,801 You know what to do. 554 00:25:13,868 --> 00:25:17,173 You must not fail. 555 00:25:17,573 --> 00:25:18,740 Must... 556 00:25:18,807 --> 00:25:20,041 not... 557 00:25:20,108 --> 00:25:21,711 fail. 558 00:25:22,912 --> 00:25:24,579 (ENGINE SURGING) 559 00:25:28,651 --> 00:25:31,452 I cannot believe you're gonna kill Bill and Ted! 560 00:25:31,519 --> 00:25:33,221 Dad would be so mad at you. 561 00:25:33,288 --> 00:25:36,057 We're out of options, Kel. 562 00:25:36,125 --> 00:25:38,693 The unravelling has already begun. 563 00:25:55,277 --> 00:25:56,845 Future dude! You're back? 564 00:25:56,912 --> 00:25:59,848 I'm looking for your fathers. Have they been here? 565 00:26:00,816 --> 00:26:02,285 THEA: No. 566 00:26:03,451 --> 00:26:06,955 (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) 567 00:26:09,090 --> 00:26:10,391 BILLIE: Where are our dads? 568 00:26:10,459 --> 00:26:11,879 They're in a tribulation, aren't they? 569 00:26:11,894 --> 00:26:13,362 They are. 570 00:26:13,429 --> 00:26:14,481 Listen, you didn't see a scary-looking robot 571 00:26:14,496 --> 00:26:15,730 from the future, did you? 572 00:26:15,798 --> 00:26:17,098 Oh, what? No. 573 00:26:17,165 --> 00:26:19,300 My mom, who overreacts about everything 574 00:26:19,366 --> 00:26:21,470 - just sent one. - To get our dads? 575 00:26:21,537 --> 00:26:23,538 Don't worry. I won't let that happen. 576 00:26:23,605 --> 00:26:26,409 Well, we're trying to help 'em, too. 577 00:26:27,108 --> 00:26:28,343 Hey. 578 00:26:28,410 --> 00:26:31,214 Hey, this can go, like... 579 00:26:32,580 --> 00:26:35,384 like, anywhere, right? Like, all throughout time? 580 00:26:35,451 --> 00:26:37,353 That's correct, but I need to stay. 581 00:26:37,420 --> 00:26:39,354 My guess is that my mom's emissary 582 00:26:39,421 --> 00:26:40,756 will be looking for them here. 583 00:26:40,823 --> 00:26:42,425 BILLIE: Well, 584 00:26:42,490 --> 00:26:43,811 Thea and I were gonna help our dads with their music 585 00:26:43,826 --> 00:26:45,293 by putting together samples for 'em. 586 00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:46,727 Yeah, but now it appears 587 00:26:46,795 --> 00:26:48,563 we could put together an actual band. 588 00:26:48,630 --> 00:26:49,917 BILLIE: I mean, it's just them, and they're all alone! 589 00:26:49,932 --> 00:26:51,599 THEA: Hey, so, do you mind 590 00:26:51,666 --> 00:26:53,254 while you stay here and wait for the scary-looking robot, 591 00:26:53,269 --> 00:26:54,789 you could show us how to use the booth? 592 00:26:56,971 --> 00:26:58,240 (BILL AND TED GRUNT) 593 00:26:58,307 --> 00:26:59,941 Dude, we gotta remember. 594 00:27:00,008 --> 00:27:01,375 Make it better, not worse! 595 00:27:01,442 --> 00:27:03,711 TED: Yeah. I hope they're still there. 596 00:27:03,778 --> 00:27:06,748 It's just that the job that they've been given, it is... 597 00:27:06,815 --> 00:27:08,549 - Impossible. - ...impossible. 598 00:27:08,616 --> 00:27:10,284 - (DOOR OPENS) - Joanna! 599 00:27:10,352 --> 00:27:11,472 - Elizabeth! - ELIZABETH: Hi! 600 00:27:11,519 --> 00:27:12,854 BOTH: We need to talk to you. 601 00:27:12,921 --> 00:27:14,288 Oh, and we're back. 602 00:27:14,355 --> 00:27:15,891 This is super important, Dr. Wood. 603 00:27:15,958 --> 00:27:18,393 We just saw ourselves two years in the future. 604 00:27:18,460 --> 00:27:19,812 Wait, you're time-travelling again? 605 00:27:19,827 --> 00:27:21,730 Only to save reality as we know it. 606 00:27:21,797 --> 00:27:23,132 Okay. Maybe... 607 00:27:23,199 --> 00:27:24,751 BILL: But we just found out something way worse. 608 00:27:24,766 --> 00:27:26,268 - You're leaving us. - JOANNA: What? 609 00:27:26,335 --> 00:27:28,769 - What? No, we're not. - No, are we? 610 00:27:28,836 --> 00:27:30,105 Yes. You are. 611 00:27:30,172 --> 00:27:32,641 Yeah. And you have real good reason to, Jo. 612 00:27:32,708 --> 00:27:34,375 TED: 'Cause we seriously appear 613 00:27:34,442 --> 00:27:35,845 to be living in our van. 614 00:27:35,911 --> 00:27:38,346 Oh, dude, we are totally living in that van. 615 00:27:38,413 --> 00:27:40,015 And I'm drinking way too much. 616 00:27:40,082 --> 00:27:41,282 Darling, you don't even drink. 617 00:27:41,317 --> 00:27:42,550 - (SCOFFS) - TED: Not yet. 618 00:27:42,617 --> 00:27:43,952 But I'm going to. A lot. 619 00:27:44,019 --> 00:27:45,788 - ELIZABETH: What? - Yeah. And the lying. 620 00:27:45,855 --> 00:27:47,923 You cannot believe what liars we are. 621 00:27:47,989 --> 00:27:50,925 Yeah, desperate, pathetic, lying losers. 622 00:27:50,992 --> 00:27:52,560 Oh, no! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 623 00:27:52,627 --> 00:27:54,362 Okay, let's stop for a moment 624 00:27:54,430 --> 00:27:56,498 and take notice of the dynamic. 625 00:27:56,565 --> 00:27:59,301 Uh, threatened by the thought of losing your... 626 00:27:59,367 --> 00:28:00,402 Princesses. 627 00:28:00,469 --> 00:28:01,737 Sure. That's a word. 628 00:28:01,804 --> 00:28:03,438 No, we actually are princesses. 629 00:28:03,505 --> 00:28:05,707 We were born in 1410. 1408. 630 00:28:05,773 --> 00:28:08,943 Okay. What about us leaving you? 631 00:28:09,010 --> 00:28:10,112 BILL: Oh, man. 632 00:28:10,179 --> 00:28:12,214 That's totally why we're here. 633 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:13,515 Yeah. To prove that we're not 634 00:28:13,582 --> 00:28:14,984 the losers we just saw we were. 635 00:28:15,049 --> 00:28:17,353 Even though those loser us's tried to tell us 636 00:28:17,420 --> 00:28:18,921 not to come and talk to you. 637 00:28:18,987 --> 00:28:21,123 Yeah. Like we were somehow gonna make it worse. 638 00:28:21,189 --> 00:28:22,658 (LAUGHING) 639 00:28:22,724 --> 00:28:25,727 But we're not making it worse, right? 640 00:28:26,394 --> 00:28:27,662 Elizabeth? 641 00:28:27,729 --> 00:28:29,230 - Joanna? - JOANNA: Hmm? 642 00:28:29,298 --> 00:28:30,865 TED: Dr. Wood? 643 00:28:30,932 --> 00:28:32,267 Huh? 644 00:28:32,334 --> 00:28:33,769 Dude, we totally made it worse. 645 00:28:33,836 --> 00:28:36,505 - We'll be back. - TED: And make it better. 646 00:28:36,571 --> 00:28:39,740 When you say 1408, you mean the year... 647 00:28:39,807 --> 00:28:41,676 - Oh, one last thing. - Yeah. 648 00:28:41,742 --> 00:28:44,012 Older yous from the future are just about to show up 649 00:28:44,078 --> 00:28:45,246 to take you on a trip 650 00:28:45,314 --> 00:28:46,782 in search of a happy life with us. 651 00:28:46,848 --> 00:28:49,416 Don't go. 'Cause you're not gonna find one. 652 00:28:49,483 --> 00:28:50,523 Yeah, but you're gonna go. 653 00:28:50,585 --> 00:28:51,819 - So, don't go. - So, go? 654 00:28:51,886 --> 00:28:54,121 No. I guess, go. 655 00:28:54,189 --> 00:28:55,624 BOTH: We love you guys. 656 00:28:55,691 --> 00:28:57,526 We're gonna fix it. 657 00:29:02,329 --> 00:29:03,698 That went terrible, dude. 658 00:29:03,766 --> 00:29:05,500 Two years forward was clearly not enough. 659 00:29:05,567 --> 00:29:07,201 Let's try five this time. 660 00:29:07,268 --> 00:29:09,136 Dude, I miss Liz already. 661 00:29:09,203 --> 00:29:10,672 Hang in there, Ted. 662 00:29:10,739 --> 00:29:12,473 Things are about to get a whole lot better. 663 00:29:12,539 --> 00:29:14,076 What time is it, dude? 664 00:29:14,142 --> 00:29:16,412 TED: Fifty-eight minutes. 665 00:29:16,478 --> 00:29:17,746 Okay, let's go. 666 00:29:17,813 --> 00:29:19,982 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 667 00:29:27,021 --> 00:29:28,423 (BOTH GASP) 668 00:29:32,161 --> 00:29:33,862 Actually, we have to go, too. 669 00:29:33,929 --> 00:29:37,399 Right. Those older us's they referred to are outside. 670 00:29:37,465 --> 00:29:38,800 I'm a little bit nervous 671 00:29:38,867 --> 00:29:40,227 to time-travel again, to be honest. 672 00:29:40,268 --> 00:29:41,286 As am I. We haven't time-traveled 673 00:29:41,301 --> 00:29:42,770 in more than two decades. 674 00:29:42,837 --> 00:29:44,425 - JOANNA: No, I know. - You know what, ladies? 675 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:45,524 I'd like to recommend we see each other 676 00:29:45,539 --> 00:29:47,442 a minimum of two to three, 677 00:29:47,509 --> 00:29:49,010 five days a week. 678 00:29:49,076 --> 00:29:51,180 - All right, then. - Lovely, lovely. Thank you. 679 00:29:51,247 --> 00:29:52,848 (ZAPPING) 680 00:30:00,255 --> 00:30:02,157 DR. WOOD: No. No. 681 00:30:02,223 --> 00:30:03,725 No! 682 00:30:04,159 --> 00:30:06,629 (WHIRRING) 683 00:30:13,335 --> 00:30:15,604 (BOTH GRUNTING, EXCLAIMING) 684 00:30:18,506 --> 00:30:19,574 It worked. 685 00:30:19,641 --> 00:30:21,744 Most indubitably. 686 00:30:23,578 --> 00:30:25,113 BILLIE: You sure this is it? 687 00:30:25,180 --> 00:30:27,016 (GUITAR PLAYING) 688 00:30:56,010 --> 00:30:58,012 Uh, excuse me, Mr. Jimi Hendrix? 689 00:30:58,079 --> 00:31:01,449 Can I just say it is an honor to be in your presence, dude? 690 00:31:01,516 --> 00:31:05,519 I mean, Electric Ladyland, what can we even say? 691 00:31:05,586 --> 00:31:06,821 Who are you two? 692 00:31:06,888 --> 00:31:08,355 Oh. Um... 693 00:31:08,423 --> 00:31:10,959 Willamina "Billie" S. Logan, and Thea "Theodora" Preston. 694 00:31:11,026 --> 00:31:14,363 Yeah. We're here for our dads to help them unite the world. 695 00:31:14,430 --> 00:31:16,999 Like, no exaggeration, literally unite the world. 696 00:31:17,066 --> 00:31:18,933 By putting together a killer band for 'em, 697 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,702 and we had to start with you, dude. 698 00:31:20,769 --> 00:31:22,436 So, question... 699 00:31:22,503 --> 00:31:26,273 how would you like to be a key part of this epochal song? 700 00:31:26,340 --> 00:31:29,177 (CHUCKLES) No. 701 00:31:35,183 --> 00:31:37,251 Dude, we have to have Jimi Hendrix. 702 00:31:37,318 --> 00:31:38,787 Yeah. 703 00:31:38,854 --> 00:31:40,855 But how are we gonna get him to be in a band 704 00:31:40,923 --> 00:31:42,457 with people he hasn't even heard of? 705 00:31:42,523 --> 00:31:44,392 Well, okay. 706 00:31:44,460 --> 00:31:47,296 Who's somebody he has heard of? 707 00:31:48,564 --> 00:31:50,398 (WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN PLAYING) 708 00:31:50,464 --> 00:31:52,166 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 709 00:32:15,390 --> 00:32:17,793 LOUIS ARMSTRONG: (SINGING) Oh, when the saints. 710 00:32:17,859 --> 00:32:19,627 Go marching in. 711 00:32:19,694 --> 00:32:23,698 Oh, when the saints go marching in. 712 00:32:23,765 --> 00:32:27,636 Well, I want to be in that number. 713 00:32:27,702 --> 00:32:30,904 Oh, when the saints go marching in. 714 00:32:30,971 --> 00:32:33,841 All right, all right, all right. All right. 715 00:32:33,907 --> 00:32:37,744 (CLEARS THROAT) Can I help you, young ladies? 716 00:32:37,811 --> 00:32:39,480 Uh, we're so sorry. 717 00:32:39,548 --> 00:32:43,852 Please excuse us, Mr. Armstrong, sir. 718 00:32:44,353 --> 00:32:45,820 Uh... 719 00:32:45,886 --> 00:32:49,389 Might we have a word with you? 720 00:32:49,457 --> 00:32:51,760 (MUSIC PLAYING ON PHONE) 721 00:32:51,826 --> 00:32:54,395 THEA: So, that is Amazing Grace 722 00:32:54,462 --> 00:32:56,798 played by a Mr. Jimi Hendrix. 723 00:32:56,865 --> 00:32:58,767 Who's in the band. 724 00:32:58,833 --> 00:33:00,552 And specifically requested your presence, so... 725 00:33:00,567 --> 00:33:02,203 THEA: And here's why. 726 00:33:02,269 --> 00:33:03,869 Your improvisations, obviously influenced 727 00:33:03,904 --> 00:33:05,240 by Bunk Johnson and King Oliver... 728 00:33:05,307 --> 00:33:07,075 Yeah, but ultimately sui generis. 729 00:33:07,142 --> 00:33:09,144 ...totally inspired him, sir. 730 00:33:09,211 --> 00:33:10,812 You gotta come see this, fellas. 731 00:33:10,878 --> 00:33:12,179 MAN: What you got there, Lou? 732 00:33:12,247 --> 00:33:13,727 BILLIE: You liberated all music, dude. 733 00:33:13,781 --> 00:33:16,049 MAN: Hey, what's that doohickey? 734 00:33:16,116 --> 00:33:17,786 (LAUGHS) 735 00:33:20,688 --> 00:33:22,357 (WHIRRING) 736 00:33:22,423 --> 00:33:24,259 (BILL AND TED GRUNT) 737 00:33:24,326 --> 00:33:25,827 BILL: Damn it! 738 00:33:29,230 --> 00:33:30,598 We did it! 739 00:33:30,665 --> 00:33:32,768 Dude, look at where we live! 740 00:33:32,834 --> 00:33:34,570 One song did all this? 741 00:33:34,636 --> 00:33:36,270 Ted, what if it wasn't just one song? 742 00:33:36,336 --> 00:33:38,972 What if after we wrote it and saved the universe, 743 00:33:39,039 --> 00:33:42,076 a dam broke and the songs just kept comin' and comin'? 744 00:33:42,144 --> 00:33:43,010 Oh, yeah. 745 00:33:43,077 --> 00:33:45,279 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY) 746 00:33:51,019 --> 00:33:52,452 53-YEAR-OLD BILL: Hello! 747 00:33:52,519 --> 00:33:55,257 Younger us's, hello! 748 00:33:55,324 --> 00:33:56,591 - Hello! - Hello! 749 00:33:56,657 --> 00:33:58,959 This time, we were expecting you. 750 00:33:59,027 --> 00:34:01,962 Yes, and unlike those sad Open Mic blokes 751 00:34:02,029 --> 00:34:03,365 from three years ago... 752 00:34:03,432 --> 00:34:04,999 We are now finally able 753 00:34:05,066 --> 00:34:07,536 to muster some compassion for them. 754 00:34:07,602 --> 00:34:09,836 ...we actually do have... 755 00:34:09,903 --> 00:34:11,739 BOTH: ...the goods. 756 00:34:13,608 --> 00:34:16,545 To your futures. 757 00:34:16,612 --> 00:34:19,181 - We did it, dude. - Yeah! 758 00:34:19,248 --> 00:34:21,150 ALL: Cheers! 759 00:34:23,384 --> 00:34:25,019 (CHUCKLES) 760 00:34:25,085 --> 00:34:28,822 So, uh, why do you both have English accents? 761 00:34:28,889 --> 00:34:32,460 Ah. Funny story. Please. 762 00:34:34,728 --> 00:34:37,164 Once Bill and I were knighted, 763 00:34:37,231 --> 00:34:40,168 things got so good with Liz and Jo 764 00:34:40,235 --> 00:34:42,170 that we decided, as families, 765 00:34:42,237 --> 00:34:46,407 to start summering in medieval England. 766 00:34:46,474 --> 00:34:50,144 And I suppose it just bloody well rubbed off! 767 00:34:50,211 --> 00:34:51,413 (ALL LAUGH) 768 00:34:51,478 --> 00:34:54,648 And I can't say how chuffed we are about it. 769 00:34:54,715 --> 00:34:58,186 BOTH: (SIGH) That is such a relief! 770 00:35:01,322 --> 00:35:02,757 I must say, 771 00:35:02,824 --> 00:35:05,393 as much as I disliked those previous us's, 772 00:35:05,460 --> 00:35:06,760 I like these us's. 773 00:35:06,827 --> 00:35:08,081 Yeah. I didn't have a big problem 774 00:35:08,096 --> 00:35:09,463 with that other me, 775 00:35:09,530 --> 00:35:12,166 but I do like this other me even more. 776 00:35:12,233 --> 00:35:13,501 Yeah. 777 00:35:14,936 --> 00:35:16,638 Enough talking, mates. 778 00:35:16,704 --> 00:35:18,005 Are you ready... 779 00:35:18,072 --> 00:35:20,041 ...for everything... 780 00:35:22,643 --> 00:35:24,445 BOTH: ...to change? 781 00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:32,421 Whoa. 782 00:35:46,235 --> 00:35:48,469 That is truly... 783 00:35:48,536 --> 00:35:51,940 the most amazing song... 784 00:35:52,007 --> 00:35:54,809 I have ever heard. 785 00:35:55,510 --> 00:35:57,179 TED: It's great. 786 00:35:57,246 --> 00:35:59,814 Honestly, I wouldn't have thought we had it in us. 787 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,083 Ah. 788 00:36:02,483 --> 00:36:04,018 But you do! 789 00:36:04,085 --> 00:36:06,221 And now it's time... 790 00:36:07,822 --> 00:36:10,424 to get it out to the world. 791 00:36:10,492 --> 00:36:11,760 (GUITAR RIFF PLAYS) 792 00:36:11,827 --> 00:36:13,162 Yeah! 793 00:36:17,798 --> 00:36:19,967 I'll never forget you, Sir Bill. 794 00:36:20,034 --> 00:36:23,404 Right back at you, Billie boyo. (CHUCKLES) 795 00:36:25,739 --> 00:36:27,875 So long, I guess. 796 00:36:27,943 --> 00:36:29,311 And thanks! 797 00:36:29,378 --> 00:36:30,510 Yeah. 798 00:36:30,577 --> 00:36:31,978 So long. 799 00:36:32,045 --> 00:36:34,115 53-YEAR-OLD BILL: Tallyho! 800 00:36:37,251 --> 00:36:38,786 Marvelous! 801 00:36:38,853 --> 00:36:41,073 BILL: Ted, why were you acting so weird with yourself, dude? 802 00:36:41,088 --> 00:36:43,324 I don't know. I always seem to act weird with myself. 803 00:36:43,391 --> 00:36:45,961 Yeah, you do! You gotta get over that, dude. 804 00:36:46,027 --> 00:36:48,096 We got the song! 805 00:36:49,931 --> 00:36:51,733 BOTH: Dave Grohl! 806 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:54,635 Who are you guys? 807 00:36:54,702 --> 00:36:56,271 What're you doin' in my house? 808 00:36:56,338 --> 00:36:57,772 BOTH: Oh, no. 809 00:36:57,838 --> 00:37:00,041 No, no, no. 810 00:37:04,179 --> 00:37:06,548 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 811 00:37:10,284 --> 00:37:12,052 Now we'll wait for those other us's 812 00:37:12,119 --> 00:37:14,088 to go back and change everything. 813 00:37:14,155 --> 00:37:17,225 To our lives getting a whole lot better. 814 00:37:17,291 --> 00:37:18,626 Yeah. 815 00:37:20,362 --> 00:37:24,365 Ted, seriously, slow down on the vodka, dude. 816 00:37:26,335 --> 00:37:28,068 You guys totally lied to us! 817 00:37:28,135 --> 00:37:30,838 Why haven't you taken the song back to San Dimas? 818 00:37:30,905 --> 00:37:33,242 Maybe 'cause it's not our song! 819 00:37:33,307 --> 00:37:34,809 Poppycock! 820 00:37:34,876 --> 00:37:36,278 It's Dave Grohl's! 821 00:37:36,344 --> 00:37:39,481 And he's outside right now calling the cops. 822 00:37:40,949 --> 00:37:42,184 (SIGHS) Ted, I told you 823 00:37:42,250 --> 00:37:43,652 Dave Grohl came back this week. 824 00:37:43,717 --> 00:37:45,319 Totally thought he came back next week. 825 00:37:45,387 --> 00:37:47,488 What were you guys even thinking? 826 00:37:47,554 --> 00:37:49,856 Just 'cause you two couldn't come up with a great song... 827 00:37:49,923 --> 00:37:51,391 And Dave Grohl did! 828 00:37:51,458 --> 00:37:53,527 ...doesn't mean we should be punished for that. 829 00:37:54,628 --> 00:37:56,264 We're not gonna do it. 830 00:37:56,331 --> 00:37:57,532 (CLATTERS) 831 00:37:57,599 --> 00:37:59,067 You have to! 832 00:37:59,134 --> 00:38:01,101 It's your only chance to get our wives back. 833 00:38:01,168 --> 00:38:02,936 You were lying about that? 834 00:38:03,003 --> 00:38:04,905 Of course we were lying. 835 00:38:04,972 --> 00:38:06,541 Oh, man. 836 00:38:06,606 --> 00:38:08,406 Yeah, they don't want anything to do with you! 837 00:38:08,443 --> 00:38:10,045 'Cause they traveled all through time 838 00:38:10,112 --> 00:38:12,046 and finally realized you are losers. 839 00:38:12,112 --> 00:38:15,016 Yeah, 'cause you make bad choices! 840 00:38:15,083 --> 00:38:16,550 Like this! 841 00:38:17,552 --> 00:38:19,354 Now, take the song! 842 00:38:19,420 --> 00:38:20,888 Guys, seriously, 843 00:38:20,956 --> 00:38:23,024 you don't have to pull guns on us. 844 00:38:23,090 --> 00:38:25,793 Yeah? Watch what happens when we don't. 845 00:38:25,860 --> 00:38:27,594 (GUN CLICKS) 846 00:38:27,661 --> 00:38:29,129 See? 847 00:38:29,197 --> 00:38:31,965 I have to admit, Bill. You were right. 848 00:38:32,032 --> 00:38:33,201 Ted! 849 00:38:33,268 --> 00:38:35,336 - You have to do it. - Yeah! 850 00:38:35,402 --> 00:38:36,870 - Our life is hell! - Yeah! 851 00:38:36,938 --> 00:38:37,957 And if you don't go back and change it... 852 00:38:37,972 --> 00:38:39,273 Change it! 853 00:38:39,340 --> 00:38:41,742 (GROANS) 854 00:38:41,809 --> 00:38:44,512 (SIRENS BLARING) 855 00:38:48,750 --> 00:38:50,550 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 856 00:38:51,452 --> 00:38:55,290 This ends now. The lies, the delusions. 857 00:38:55,356 --> 00:38:57,459 I'm done with him. I'm done with both of them. 858 00:38:57,525 --> 00:38:59,059 You're not gonna kill Ted, Dad. 859 00:38:59,126 --> 00:39:01,596 He broke into Dave Grohl's house! 860 00:39:01,661 --> 00:39:02,963 Dad, slow down. 861 00:39:03,030 --> 00:39:04,599 We don't have the whole story yet. 862 00:39:06,835 --> 00:39:09,838 BOTH: Can't get away from us, Bill and Ted. 863 00:39:09,905 --> 00:39:11,306 Ted, they're right. They're us. 864 00:39:11,371 --> 00:39:13,373 They remember everything we're gonna do! 865 00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,042 That means we gotta do something 866 00:39:15,110 --> 00:39:17,445 we can't possibly remember. 867 00:39:18,413 --> 00:39:19,981 Shoot 'em. 868 00:39:20,047 --> 00:39:22,284 (GUNSHOTS) 869 00:39:22,351 --> 00:39:25,253 Oh, no. They're gonna do the thing. 870 00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:26,688 (SIGHS) I was hoping 871 00:39:26,755 --> 00:39:28,890 they wouldn't remember that this time. 872 00:39:28,956 --> 00:39:30,924 (BOTH GROAN) 873 00:39:30,992 --> 00:39:33,362 No one leaves the building. 874 00:39:39,599 --> 00:39:42,069 (GRUNTING) 875 00:39:47,074 --> 00:39:48,275 BILL: Dude, what do we do? 876 00:39:48,342 --> 00:39:50,310 TED: No idea, that's the point! 877 00:39:50,378 --> 00:39:51,612 BILL: I'm confused! 878 00:39:51,679 --> 00:39:53,181 TED: Me, too! 879 00:39:59,219 --> 00:40:00,855 Ted, that totally worked! 880 00:40:00,922 --> 00:40:03,625 Yeah. Maybe we should always not know what we're doing. 881 00:40:03,692 --> 00:40:05,226 Time? 882 00:40:05,860 --> 00:40:07,428 TED: Forty-seven minutes. 883 00:40:07,494 --> 00:40:09,314 All right, we gotta keep going further into the future. 884 00:40:09,329 --> 00:40:11,465 At some point, we must've written that song. 885 00:40:11,532 --> 00:40:13,668 - Try in five years. - Okay. 886 00:40:18,005 --> 00:40:19,673 Dude. 887 00:40:19,740 --> 00:40:20,907 What's that? 888 00:40:20,974 --> 00:40:22,677 BILL: I don't know. 889 00:40:22,744 --> 00:40:25,847 But it's most alarming. 890 00:40:25,913 --> 00:40:27,382 - Bill? - I'm tryin', dude. 891 00:40:27,449 --> 00:40:29,617 - Bill? - Almost there, dude. 892 00:40:29,684 --> 00:40:31,319 Bill! 893 00:40:31,686 --> 00:40:33,153 I got it! 894 00:40:33,221 --> 00:40:35,056 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 895 00:40:37,891 --> 00:40:40,728 - (SCREAMING) - (SIREN BLARING) 896 00:40:54,342 --> 00:40:57,378 Come on! You again? I said no. 897 00:40:57,445 --> 00:40:59,713 To us. But I bet you can't say no to this man. 898 00:40:59,780 --> 00:41:02,483 Mr. Jimi Hendrix, meet Mr. Louis Armstrong. 899 00:41:02,550 --> 00:41:06,688 That lick you played was the cat's meow, man. 900 00:41:06,755 --> 00:41:08,456 It's blues, but also... 901 00:41:08,523 --> 00:41:10,725 What's the word you used, young ladies? 902 00:41:10,791 --> 00:41:13,527 - BOTH: Psychedelic. - Psychedelic. 903 00:41:13,594 --> 00:41:15,429 Exactly. 904 00:41:15,496 --> 00:41:17,498 Very funny, whoever you are. 905 00:41:17,565 --> 00:41:20,934 Louis Armstrong's, like, 65 years old. 906 00:41:21,001 --> 00:41:22,269 Dude, dude, I told you 907 00:41:22,336 --> 00:41:23,704 we should've gotten older Louis. 908 00:41:23,771 --> 00:41:25,840 It was your idea, too! 909 00:41:25,907 --> 00:41:30,812 Well, the young ladies picked me up in 1922, Jim. 910 00:41:30,878 --> 00:41:33,181 Which supports both that we're putting together 911 00:41:33,248 --> 00:41:35,016 a most extraordinary band... 912 00:41:35,083 --> 00:41:36,751 Yeah. And that we are doing so 913 00:41:36,818 --> 00:41:38,787 by traveling all throughout time. 914 00:41:38,853 --> 00:41:41,188 Come on, give me a break. 915 00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:55,503 (CHUCKLES) He dug that jive, hey? 916 00:41:55,570 --> 00:41:57,238 LOUIS ARMSTRONG: Potato Head Blues? 917 00:41:57,304 --> 00:41:58,639 What kind of title is that? 918 00:41:58,706 --> 00:42:01,208 BILLIE: A definitive one, Mr. Armstrong. 919 00:42:01,275 --> 00:42:02,894 LOUIS ARMSTRONG: So, what you're all saying 920 00:42:02,909 --> 00:42:07,047 is that you love a song that I wrote in my future? 921 00:42:07,114 --> 00:42:08,349 Which is in your past. 922 00:42:08,416 --> 00:42:11,286 But we're all here in this present. 923 00:42:11,353 --> 00:42:15,188 Which is actually the past? 924 00:42:15,255 --> 00:42:16,857 Exactly, gentlemen. 925 00:42:16,923 --> 00:42:18,126 (EXCLAIMS) 926 00:42:18,193 --> 00:42:19,895 Fascinating. 927 00:42:20,994 --> 00:42:23,264 (PIANO PLAYING) 928 00:42:29,369 --> 00:42:32,873 Herr Mozart. Now we're talkin'. 929 00:42:47,221 --> 00:42:49,657 (GUITAR SOLO PLAYING) 930 00:43:01,936 --> 00:43:03,838 (ALL MURMURING) 931 00:43:05,873 --> 00:43:07,841 (EXHALES) 932 00:43:13,347 --> 00:43:16,218 (CONTINUES PLAYING PIANO) 933 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,923 (SPEAKING GERMAN) 934 00:44:00,427 --> 00:44:02,496 (JIMI LAUGHS) 935 00:44:02,563 --> 00:44:05,467 (IN ENGLISH) Yeah! Hey, Wolfie. 936 00:44:06,735 --> 00:44:08,269 Jimi. 937 00:44:10,637 --> 00:44:12,773 (BILL AND TED GRUNT) 938 00:44:13,940 --> 00:44:16,743 Dude, the future totally sent a killer robot after us. 939 00:44:16,811 --> 00:44:19,748 That's why we gotta find the song, dude. 940 00:44:23,284 --> 00:44:24,986 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 941 00:44:26,387 --> 00:44:27,889 58-YEAR-OLD BILL AND TED: Hopeless, 942 00:44:27,954 --> 00:44:29,389 helpless dying breath. 943 00:44:29,456 --> 00:44:32,559 PRISONERS: Hopeless, helpless dying breath. 944 00:44:32,626 --> 00:44:35,395 This can't possibly be the song, dude. 945 00:44:35,463 --> 00:44:36,916 - 58-YEAR-OLD TED: Pain! - PRISONERS: Pain! 946 00:44:36,931 --> 00:44:38,450 - 58-YEAR-OLD BILL: Death! - PRISONERS: Death! 947 00:44:38,465 --> 00:44:41,168 58-YEAR-OLD BILL: Welcome to... 948 00:44:41,235 --> 00:44:42,902 ALL: ...the end! 949 00:44:42,969 --> 00:44:45,438 (ALL YELLING) 950 00:44:45,505 --> 00:44:47,107 BOTH: No way! 951 00:44:47,175 --> 00:44:49,878 - Enough! Stop! - Enough! Stop! 952 00:44:51,978 --> 00:44:53,313 Come forward. 953 00:44:53,380 --> 00:44:56,182 BOTH: How's it goin', Bill and Ted? 954 00:44:56,250 --> 00:44:57,483 How'd you like our song? 955 00:44:57,550 --> 00:45:00,253 - Is that a song? - Yes! 956 00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:01,989 It's a little on the dark side, 957 00:45:02,056 --> 00:45:04,692 but, you know, that's cool. 958 00:45:04,759 --> 00:45:06,126 Why are you guys in prison? 959 00:45:06,193 --> 00:45:08,396 Oh, maybe because you guys left us 960 00:45:08,461 --> 00:45:10,563 to take the fall five years ago. 961 00:45:10,630 --> 00:45:12,732 Ah. That's funny, 'cause for us 962 00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:14,535 it's only, like, five minutes ago. 963 00:45:14,601 --> 00:45:17,038 - 58-YEAR-OLD TED: Huh? - So, we'll be leaving now. 964 00:45:17,105 --> 00:45:19,373 You're not goin' anywhere, pretty boy. 965 00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:20,693 58-YEAR-OLD BILL: We've been waiting for years 966 00:45:20,708 --> 00:45:22,210 to make things right. 967 00:45:22,277 --> 00:45:23,878 But everything's gonna be different. 968 00:45:23,945 --> 00:45:28,115 'Cause unlike those last us's, we actually have a song. 969 00:45:28,181 --> 00:45:29,183 Is it a song? 970 00:45:29,250 --> 00:45:30,851 BOTH: Yes! 971 00:45:30,918 --> 00:45:34,521 Bill, Ted, seriously, we can't take that song back. 972 00:45:34,588 --> 00:45:37,391 Oh, you're not taking it back, Curly. 973 00:45:37,458 --> 00:45:38,826 We're taking it back! 974 00:45:38,891 --> 00:45:40,627 You're gonna stay here and rot 975 00:45:40,695 --> 00:45:43,264 and we're gonna go get lives and our wives back! 976 00:45:43,331 --> 00:45:44,398 And unite the world! 977 00:45:44,465 --> 00:45:45,666 And save reality! 978 00:45:45,733 --> 00:45:47,836 - BOTH: You are? - BOTH: Yes! 979 00:45:49,036 --> 00:45:50,739 (WHIRRING) 980 00:45:52,606 --> 00:45:54,609 Freeze, Preston/Logan. 981 00:45:54,675 --> 00:45:56,644 You know what happens if he kills them, dude. 982 00:45:56,710 --> 00:45:58,879 He kills us, dude. 983 00:46:01,014 --> 00:46:02,315 Hold on! 984 00:46:02,382 --> 00:46:04,451 You want some Bill and Ted, punk? 985 00:46:06,253 --> 00:46:07,388 Get him! 986 00:46:07,454 --> 00:46:09,891 (PRISONERS SHOUTING) 987 00:46:12,559 --> 00:46:14,061 That was not a song. 988 00:46:14,128 --> 00:46:15,363 BOTH: Hmm? 989 00:46:15,429 --> 00:46:18,398 You're being a rotten idiot! 990 00:46:18,465 --> 00:46:19,800 TED: That was horrible, dude. 991 00:46:19,867 --> 00:46:21,369 Those are the worst us's yet, dude! 992 00:46:21,436 --> 00:46:22,488 Yeah. They did save us, though. 993 00:46:22,503 --> 00:46:23,503 Yeah. 994 00:46:23,570 --> 00:46:25,139 BOTH: Oh, no! 995 00:46:25,206 --> 00:46:26,807 - Jo! - Liz! 996 00:46:26,875 --> 00:46:28,494 - ELIZABETH: Oh, hi! - BOTH: How's it goin'? 997 00:46:28,509 --> 00:46:31,679 - Good. - Oh, my God, is that you? 998 00:46:32,646 --> 00:46:34,332 - BILL: No, no, no! - TED: We love you guys. 999 00:46:34,347 --> 00:46:35,901 - BILL: You've gotta go. - TED: You should probably go. 1000 00:46:35,916 --> 00:46:37,552 - JOANNA: All right. - ELIZABETH: Okay. 1001 00:46:37,619 --> 00:46:38,870 - We're gonna fix it! - ELIZABETH: I got it. 1002 00:46:38,885 --> 00:46:40,125 Oh, good Lord. Oh, good heavens. 1003 00:46:40,153 --> 00:46:41,422 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 1004 00:46:44,324 --> 00:46:45,492 Dude, what now? 1005 00:46:45,559 --> 00:46:46,927 The watch says sometimes things 1006 00:46:46,994 --> 00:46:48,762 don't make sense till the end of the story. 1007 00:46:48,829 --> 00:46:50,331 TED: So? 1008 00:46:50,398 --> 00:46:52,700 Maybe we gotta go all the way to the end to find out, Ted. 1009 00:46:52,766 --> 00:46:56,403 - (PRISONERS SHOUTING) - Most... non-triumphant. 1010 00:46:56,471 --> 00:46:57,905 Pull yourself together. 1011 00:46:57,972 --> 00:47:00,007 - You're a robot! - (ROBOT GROANING) 1012 00:47:00,074 --> 00:47:02,543 THE GREAT LEADER: Get to where they're going next and wait. 1013 00:47:03,510 --> 00:47:05,880 We are running out of time. 1014 00:47:08,282 --> 00:47:10,518 (PEACEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 1015 00:47:15,123 --> 00:47:17,724 BILLIE: The myth of Ling Lun turns out to be true, T. 1016 00:47:17,791 --> 00:47:21,228 THEA: I know. And she's a she. 1017 00:47:21,295 --> 00:47:24,199 (ALL SPEAKING GERMAN) 1018 00:47:38,378 --> 00:47:39,914 (SPEAKS CHAOSHAN MIN) 1019 00:47:39,981 --> 00:47:41,983 (SPEAKING GERMAN) 1020 00:47:42,583 --> 00:47:44,251 LING LUN: Oh. (CHUCKLES) 1021 00:47:49,523 --> 00:47:51,324 (IN ENGLISH) Hey, you wanna be in our band? 1022 00:47:51,391 --> 00:47:52,692 (LING LUN SPEAKS CHAOSHAN MIN) 1023 00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:54,896 - (IN ENGLISH) Yeah. - LING LUN: Oh. 1024 00:48:01,202 --> 00:48:02,703 (LAUGHS) 1025 00:48:02,769 --> 00:48:04,505 (SPEAKING GERMAN) 1026 00:48:04,572 --> 00:48:06,474 THEA: (IN ENGLISH) Grom. You're gonna love her. 1027 00:48:06,539 --> 00:48:10,010 BILLIE: Ling Lun says she's the greatest drummer of all time. 1028 00:48:13,380 --> 00:48:15,083 MOZART: What? 1029 00:48:27,228 --> 00:48:30,998 THEA: Hello. Excuse me. Hi. Miss... Miss Grom... 1030 00:48:31,065 --> 00:48:33,001 (SPEAKING GERMAN) 1031 00:48:34,434 --> 00:48:35,874 - (SHEEP BLEATING) - (MOZART SCREAMS) 1032 00:48:35,902 --> 00:48:38,939 Well, I'm trying to save the world, too, Mother. 1033 00:48:39,007 --> 00:48:41,809 (SCOFFS) It's not like your generation's done that great. 1034 00:48:41,876 --> 00:48:43,544 - (GASPS) - (ALL SCREAMING) 1035 00:48:43,610 --> 00:48:46,246 It's getting worse and worse here, if you were wondering. 1036 00:48:47,447 --> 00:48:49,216 Ah. Well, the Sahara Desert 1037 00:48:49,284 --> 00:48:52,019 just showed up in San Dimas, Mother. 1038 00:48:52,085 --> 00:48:53,120 Queen Elizabeth 1039 00:48:53,186 --> 00:48:54,989 - is looking right at it. - (GASPING) 1040 00:48:55,054 --> 00:48:58,925 (CHUCKLES) No. No, I'm not gonna tell you where I am. 1041 00:48:58,992 --> 00:49:00,760 Because how do I know you won't send 1042 00:49:00,827 --> 00:49:03,697 your killer robot after me, Mom? 1043 00:49:07,101 --> 00:49:08,202 I gotta go, Mom. 1044 00:49:08,268 --> 00:49:10,070 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 1045 00:49:11,405 --> 00:49:14,474 (SIGHS) This is bad. This is really happening. 1046 00:49:14,541 --> 00:49:16,177 What's happening? 1047 00:49:16,242 --> 00:49:17,244 (GRUNTING) 1048 00:49:17,311 --> 00:49:20,181 BOTH: Whoa! Kid Cudi! 1049 00:49:20,248 --> 00:49:22,081 THEA: Hey, how's it goin', dude? 1050 00:49:22,148 --> 00:49:24,719 Can someone please tell me what the hell is happening? 1051 00:49:24,786 --> 00:49:27,021 Basically, all time and space are about to end 1052 00:49:27,088 --> 00:49:30,490 unless their dads come up with a song by 7:17 p.m. 1053 00:49:30,556 --> 00:49:32,492 - Wait. What? - Wait. What? 1054 00:49:32,559 --> 00:49:34,228 We thought this was about the music. 1055 00:49:34,295 --> 00:49:37,030 It is. It's also about the end of space and time. 1056 00:49:37,097 --> 00:49:39,565 Dude, this is way worse than we thought. 1057 00:49:39,632 --> 00:49:43,270 So, this is some kind of error in our holographic dual field? 1058 00:49:43,336 --> 00:49:44,572 Or is it a Wilsonian loop 1059 00:49:44,637 --> 00:49:46,239 causing a temporal singularity? 1060 00:49:46,306 --> 00:49:47,675 Well, seems to me your 1061 00:49:47,742 --> 00:49:49,276 classical tautological causal circuit. 1062 00:49:49,342 --> 00:49:51,422 I don't know. Seems like textbook entanglement to me. 1063 00:49:51,478 --> 00:49:52,879 I must say, your understanding 1064 00:49:52,945 --> 00:49:54,815 of our dire circumstance is most impressive. 1065 00:49:54,882 --> 00:49:57,003 You should put it to good use and help us save reality! 1066 00:49:57,018 --> 00:49:58,418 Yeah! 1067 00:49:58,485 --> 00:50:00,006 That's great. 'Cause it is the end of space and time. 1068 00:50:00,021 --> 00:50:01,355 Right. 1069 00:50:01,422 --> 00:50:03,925 Mr. Armstrong, Mr. Hendrix, Herr Mozart, 1070 00:50:03,992 --> 00:50:06,727 Miss Grom, Miss Ling Lun, and Mr. Cudi, 1071 00:50:06,793 --> 00:50:08,247 we're gonna take you into our dads' studio 1072 00:50:08,262 --> 00:50:09,597 and start practicing. 1073 00:50:09,664 --> 00:50:11,065 So that when our dads get back here 1074 00:50:11,130 --> 00:50:12,485 with the song that will unite the world, 1075 00:50:12,500 --> 00:50:13,434 you guys can play it for 'em. 1076 00:50:13,501 --> 00:50:15,069 BOTH: Sound good? 1077 00:50:15,135 --> 00:50:17,871 THEA: Let's get practicing. 1078 00:50:19,005 --> 00:50:20,206 Oh. 1079 00:50:20,273 --> 00:50:21,909 BOTH: Bogus. 1080 00:50:27,782 --> 00:50:29,383 Oops. 1081 00:50:29,449 --> 00:50:31,852 I'm so sorry, Great Leader. 1082 00:50:32,452 --> 00:50:34,253 Oh, no. 1083 00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,857 Oh... Oh, no. 1084 00:50:39,626 --> 00:50:40,862 Oh, no. 1085 00:50:40,927 --> 00:50:43,830 (ALL SCREAMING) 1086 00:50:46,333 --> 00:50:49,168 - (LING LUN SCREAMS) - Are you okay? 1087 00:50:49,235 --> 00:50:50,503 I think so, dude. 1088 00:50:50,570 --> 00:50:52,371 Are you okay? 1089 00:50:52,438 --> 00:50:53,641 I think so, dude. 1090 00:50:53,708 --> 00:50:55,576 (GROM YELLS) 1091 00:50:55,643 --> 00:50:57,411 Dude, where are we? 1092 00:51:04,385 --> 00:51:05,920 Are you guys okay? 1093 00:51:05,987 --> 00:51:08,021 KELLY: My mother just had me killed. 1094 00:51:08,088 --> 00:51:11,426 I didn't think she'd actually do it, but she did. 1095 00:51:22,369 --> 00:51:27,207 Our sincerest apologies that we're here, great musicians. 1096 00:51:27,273 --> 00:51:30,210 We just wanted to help our dads. 1097 00:51:31,043 --> 00:51:35,148 Which we clearly utterly failed at. 1098 00:51:36,449 --> 00:51:38,218 (CREATURES SCREECHING) 1099 00:51:43,090 --> 00:51:44,992 (BILL AND TED GRUNT) 1100 00:51:54,469 --> 00:51:55,769 Time? 1101 00:51:56,704 --> 00:51:58,806 6:48 p.m. 1102 00:52:06,414 --> 00:52:08,082 BOTH: Whoa. 1103 00:52:14,288 --> 00:52:15,757 Dude! 1104 00:52:17,224 --> 00:52:19,693 BILL: Are Jo and Liz here? 1105 00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:21,796 Yes. 1106 00:52:24,998 --> 00:52:27,100 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 1107 00:52:27,735 --> 00:52:29,771 And no. 1108 00:52:32,505 --> 00:52:34,540 What did you mean 1109 00:52:34,608 --> 00:52:37,445 "yes and no"? 1110 00:52:37,510 --> 00:52:40,847 There are infinite pasts. 1111 00:52:40,914 --> 00:52:45,918 Each is entangled with infinite futures. 1112 00:52:45,985 --> 00:52:47,653 So, what are you sayin'? 1113 00:52:47,721 --> 00:52:50,056 Where you end up... 1114 00:52:50,556 --> 00:52:52,292 all depends... 1115 00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,461 on what happens... 1116 00:52:54,527 --> 00:52:56,163 with this. 1117 00:52:56,230 --> 00:52:57,530 Is that... 1118 00:52:57,597 --> 00:53:01,501 It's the answer to everything. 1119 00:53:03,637 --> 00:53:04,972 It's called... 1120 00:53:05,806 --> 00:53:08,909 BOTH: Face The Music. 1121 00:53:10,844 --> 00:53:13,514 - (CLICKS) - (GUITARS PLAYING) 1122 00:53:15,248 --> 00:53:16,683 Dudes... 1123 00:53:16,750 --> 00:53:18,751 who is that on guitar? 1124 00:53:18,818 --> 00:53:21,322 It's you two. 1125 00:53:21,889 --> 00:53:23,757 It is us. 1126 00:53:23,824 --> 00:53:26,159 (CLICKS OFF MUSIC) 1127 00:53:29,496 --> 00:53:31,731 (CHUCKLES) 1128 00:53:31,797 --> 00:53:34,134 BOTH: Face The Music. 1129 00:53:36,003 --> 00:53:37,671 Preston/Logan! 1130 00:53:37,737 --> 00:53:42,309 Recorded at 7:17 p.m. 1131 00:53:42,376 --> 00:53:45,913 At MP 46. 1132 00:53:45,980 --> 00:53:49,248 It's in your hands now. 1133 00:53:49,750 --> 00:53:52,485 Go make it happen. 1134 00:53:52,552 --> 00:53:53,787 Thank you, wise old us's. 1135 00:53:53,853 --> 00:53:55,355 Yeah. 1136 00:54:04,331 --> 00:54:07,535 I just wanna say thank you, Bill, 1137 00:54:07,601 --> 00:54:10,403 for all the times you've been there for me. 1138 00:54:11,972 --> 00:54:15,642 I feel like I never really knew you, Ted. 1139 00:54:15,708 --> 00:54:17,377 Oh. 1140 00:54:17,445 --> 00:54:20,046 That's my fault. 1141 00:54:20,112 --> 00:54:23,616 I never truly opened myself up to you. 1142 00:54:23,682 --> 00:54:28,322 The truth is, I looked at you and saw myself. 1143 00:54:29,121 --> 00:54:33,360 Yeah. I know. Me, too. 1144 00:54:33,427 --> 00:54:38,666 I'm sorry for the times I let you down, Bill. 1145 00:54:38,731 --> 00:54:40,934 You never have, Bill. 1146 00:54:41,735 --> 00:54:44,070 You never have. 1147 00:54:49,076 --> 00:54:49,976 (SIGHS) 1148 00:54:50,043 --> 00:54:52,179 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 1149 00:54:53,547 --> 00:54:56,284 (IN ENGLISH) I'll never forget you, Bill. 1150 00:54:56,650 --> 00:54:58,152 Ever. 1151 00:55:00,653 --> 00:55:03,123 Catch you later, Ted. 1152 00:55:09,463 --> 00:55:12,432 Catch you later, Bill and Ted. 1153 00:55:19,672 --> 00:55:21,407 They're nice boys. 1154 00:55:21,474 --> 00:55:23,110 Yeah. 1155 00:55:23,943 --> 00:55:26,612 Dude! We got the actual real song! 1156 00:55:26,679 --> 00:55:28,214 Now alls we gotta do is figure out 1157 00:55:28,282 --> 00:55:29,916 how to unite the whole world with it. 1158 00:55:29,983 --> 00:55:31,285 And save reality. 1159 00:55:31,351 --> 00:55:32,652 Yeah. 1160 00:55:33,186 --> 00:55:34,655 - Dude! - What? 1161 00:55:34,722 --> 00:55:36,957 The booth is gone. 1162 00:55:37,023 --> 00:55:38,391 BILL: What? 1163 00:55:38,458 --> 00:55:39,925 Where did it go? 1164 00:55:39,992 --> 00:55:43,297 I don't know. Let's go back and ask those wise old us's. 1165 00:55:43,362 --> 00:55:45,598 Yeah. I hope we're still alive. 1166 00:55:48,867 --> 00:55:50,436 Freeze, Preston/Logan. 1167 00:55:50,503 --> 00:55:52,605 Oh, this is exactly what we don't need right now. 1168 00:55:52,672 --> 00:55:55,608 We can't. We gotta get back to the present, like, now. 1169 00:55:55,675 --> 00:55:57,878 Yeah. Look, we know you were sent here 1170 00:55:57,945 --> 00:55:59,446 to kill us if we didn't have the song. 1171 00:55:59,512 --> 00:56:03,351 But we actually do have the song now, so... 1172 00:56:03,951 --> 00:56:06,153 Wait. You have the song? 1173 00:56:08,221 --> 00:56:09,757 (SIGHING) Oh... 1174 00:56:10,623 --> 00:56:12,259 Uh... 1175 00:56:12,326 --> 00:56:14,661 Mistakes were made. 1176 00:56:15,795 --> 00:56:17,463 Apologies are given. 1177 00:56:17,530 --> 00:56:20,933 You're forgiven. No problem. But we gotta go, robot dude. 1178 00:56:21,001 --> 00:56:24,271 Wait! No, must expiate guilt. 1179 00:56:24,338 --> 00:56:27,040 For what? We're fine, dude. Let us go! 1180 00:56:27,106 --> 00:56:30,043 For... murdering family. 1181 00:56:30,110 --> 00:56:32,112 Wait. What? 1182 00:56:32,179 --> 00:56:34,648 What are you talking about? 1183 00:56:34,713 --> 00:56:38,018 I lasered your daughters. 1184 00:56:38,085 --> 00:56:39,219 You lasered them? 1185 00:56:39,286 --> 00:56:41,288 You lasered our daughters? 1186 00:56:41,353 --> 00:56:42,955 BOTH: Where are they? 1187 00:56:43,023 --> 00:56:44,791 Daughters are... 1188 00:56:45,458 --> 00:56:46,525 in Hell. 1189 00:56:46,592 --> 00:56:49,362 BOTH: You sent our daughters to Hell? 1190 00:56:49,429 --> 00:56:52,032 (DISTORTED STUTTERING) 1191 00:56:52,099 --> 00:56:53,667 We have to go get them. 1192 00:56:54,601 --> 00:56:56,170 Shoot us. 1193 00:56:56,237 --> 00:56:59,706 I can't shoot you. You have the song. 1194 00:57:00,974 --> 00:57:02,442 Well, guess what? 1195 00:57:02,509 --> 00:57:04,110 - (GASPS) - BILL: Now there's no song. 1196 00:57:04,177 --> 00:57:06,679 TED: Now you got no choice, Robot. 1197 00:57:06,746 --> 00:57:08,481 You gotta kill us! 1198 00:57:10,750 --> 00:57:12,686 (GUN POWERS UP) 1199 00:57:18,525 --> 00:57:20,795 - Can no longer take life. - (GUN POWERS DOWN) 1200 00:57:21,161 --> 00:57:22,361 What? 1201 00:57:22,429 --> 00:57:24,631 Failure. Failure. Failure. Failure. 1202 00:57:24,697 --> 00:57:27,734 Dude, we need this guy to laser us 1203 00:57:27,802 --> 00:57:29,036 but he appears to be having 1204 00:57:29,101 --> 00:57:31,038 some kind of nervous breakdown. 1205 00:57:31,105 --> 00:57:34,039 Shoot us, Robot! 1206 00:57:34,106 --> 00:57:35,442 (GRUNTS) I can't. I'm a failure. 1207 00:57:35,509 --> 00:57:37,211 I don't even deserve to live, you know? 1208 00:57:37,277 --> 00:57:38,311 BOTH: Shoot us! 1209 00:57:38,378 --> 00:57:40,146 Can't do it. Shoot myself. 1210 00:57:40,213 --> 00:57:41,648 - Wait, don't! - You can't! 1211 00:57:41,715 --> 00:57:43,784 TED: We gotta go save Billie and Thea. 1212 00:57:43,851 --> 00:57:45,719 - Let's do it! - Yeah. 1213 00:57:45,786 --> 00:57:49,021 I'm so sorry! Goodbye, cruel world! 1214 00:57:49,088 --> 00:57:50,724 (BOTH GASP) 1215 00:57:51,559 --> 00:57:53,327 (BOTH GRUNT) 1216 00:57:54,827 --> 00:57:55,963 It worked! 1217 00:57:56,030 --> 00:57:57,531 Yeah! 1218 00:58:01,867 --> 00:58:03,770 THE ROBOT: ...world! 1219 00:58:04,971 --> 00:58:06,206 That is unexpected. 1220 00:58:06,273 --> 00:58:08,876 Yeah. How can a robot even die? 1221 00:58:08,942 --> 00:58:10,610 Let's find the girls. 1222 00:58:11,210 --> 00:58:13,746 Can I come with you? 1223 00:58:13,813 --> 00:58:15,316 (CREATURE SCREECHING) 1224 00:58:15,382 --> 00:58:16,883 He did kill us. 1225 00:58:16,949 --> 00:58:18,751 (SIGHS) 1226 00:58:18,818 --> 00:58:20,488 Come on, Robot! 1227 00:58:21,954 --> 00:58:23,891 Wait. I have a name. 1228 00:58:24,692 --> 00:58:26,559 It's Dennis. 1229 00:58:27,226 --> 00:58:28,862 Dennis McCoy. 1230 00:58:28,929 --> 00:58:31,164 Okay. Let's go, Dennis McCoy. 1231 00:58:31,231 --> 00:58:32,666 - Thea! - Billie! 1232 00:58:32,733 --> 00:58:35,836 Dennis Caleb McCoy. That's the full name. 1233 00:58:35,902 --> 00:58:38,271 Let's go, dude! 1234 00:58:38,338 --> 00:58:41,208 ROBOT: I feel gratitude. Gratitude. 1235 00:58:41,275 --> 00:58:42,608 Okay, we get it. 1236 00:58:42,675 --> 00:58:44,277 You're a grateful, totally insecure, 1237 00:58:44,344 --> 00:58:47,780 somehow dead robot named Dennis Caleb McCoy. 1238 00:58:47,847 --> 00:58:50,217 - Thea! - Billie! 1239 00:58:51,483 --> 00:58:53,252 How're we gonna find them, dude? 1240 00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:54,454 I don't know, dude. 1241 00:58:54,521 --> 00:58:57,224 Yeah, I don't even know, dude. 1242 00:58:59,291 --> 00:59:02,496 BOTH: Thea! Billie! 1243 00:59:05,532 --> 00:59:07,233 LEAD SCIENTIST: Great Leader? 1244 00:59:07,300 --> 00:59:10,171 Bill and Ted are dead. Did it work? 1245 00:59:13,672 --> 00:59:15,107 No. 1246 00:59:15,175 --> 00:59:17,278 Nothing is working. 1247 00:59:19,579 --> 00:59:20,813 Oh... 1248 00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:23,384 They were very nice. Very nice. Good group. 1249 00:59:23,449 --> 00:59:25,985 - BOTH: Group? - Yeah. They went that way. 1250 00:59:26,052 --> 00:59:27,487 BOTH: Thanks, demons. 1251 00:59:27,554 --> 00:59:28,874 - DEMON 1: You betcha. - Enjoy Hell, y'all. 1252 00:59:28,889 --> 00:59:30,108 - Thanks, demons. - Have a good time, boys. 1253 00:59:30,123 --> 00:59:31,123 I know that's strange. 1254 00:59:31,157 --> 00:59:32,259 What is that, a robot? 1255 00:59:32,326 --> 00:59:34,461 Yeah, that's a robot in Hell. 1256 00:59:34,527 --> 00:59:36,262 - Thea? - Billie? 1257 00:59:36,329 --> 00:59:38,731 - Thea? - Billie! 1258 00:59:38,797 --> 00:59:40,266 KELLY: No! 1259 00:59:40,333 --> 00:59:42,368 - Apology not accepted, Mother. - BOTH: Kelly? 1260 00:59:42,434 --> 00:59:45,940 Ah! Bill and Ted are here. Did it work, Mom? 1261 00:59:46,673 --> 00:59:48,909 Yeah. That's what I thought. 1262 00:59:48,974 --> 00:59:49,976 BOTH: Where are they? 1263 00:59:50,043 --> 00:59:51,778 (SIGHS) They're that way. 1264 00:59:53,380 --> 00:59:54,948 I'm Dennis Caleb McCoy. I am so... 1265 00:59:55,014 --> 00:59:57,616 No! No. 1266 00:59:57,684 --> 01:00:00,353 Oh, yeah. This is way worse than the Christmas incident. 1267 01:00:00,420 --> 01:00:03,990 And you named him Dennis? After my ex? 1268 01:00:04,056 --> 01:00:05,792 Get outta here! 1269 01:00:16,268 --> 01:00:18,638 - Thea! Billie! - Billie! Thea! 1270 01:00:18,706 --> 01:00:20,274 BOTH: Dads! 1271 01:00:24,878 --> 01:00:26,013 BILLIE: Dads! 1272 01:00:27,981 --> 01:00:29,116 How're you doin'? 1273 01:00:29,182 --> 01:00:30,951 Well, you know, we're dead. 1274 01:00:31,018 --> 01:00:32,251 And we're in Hell. 1275 01:00:32,318 --> 01:00:33,853 But how're you doin'? 1276 01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:34,988 BOTH: We're good! 1277 01:00:35,054 --> 01:00:36,923 Yeah. Look who we found. 1278 01:00:37,623 --> 01:00:38,857 Dad? 1279 01:00:38,925 --> 01:00:40,193 Hi, Ted. 1280 01:00:40,260 --> 01:00:43,196 I was wrong. I mean, you're here. 1281 01:00:43,262 --> 01:00:46,766 Which implies that you also traveled through time 1282 01:00:46,833 --> 01:00:50,537 and that your wives actually are princesses. 1283 01:00:50,603 --> 01:00:53,205 All of which proves that it is imperative 1284 01:00:53,273 --> 01:00:54,875 that you write the song 1285 01:00:54,940 --> 01:00:57,476 that will unite the entire world. 1286 01:00:57,543 --> 01:00:59,945 BOTH: And save reality. 1287 01:01:00,012 --> 01:01:01,213 Wait, is that new? 1288 01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:02,983 BOTH: Yeah. 1289 01:01:03,050 --> 01:01:06,619 Well, then, I should help you instead of criticizing you. 1290 01:01:06,686 --> 01:01:11,057 And I am very, very, very sorry. 1291 01:01:11,125 --> 01:01:12,659 Thanks, Dad! 1292 01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,128 Yeah, thanks, Chief Logan! 1293 01:01:15,195 --> 01:01:16,997 I wasn't talking to you, Bill. 1294 01:01:17,063 --> 01:01:19,031 Oh. Cool. 1295 01:01:19,099 --> 01:01:21,902 Well, Dads, this is the band we put together for you. 1296 01:01:21,967 --> 01:01:24,770 This is Jimi Hendrix, Louis Armstrong... 1297 01:01:24,838 --> 01:01:28,575 And Mozart, and Ling Lun, and Grom. 1298 01:01:29,443 --> 01:01:31,278 JIMI HENDRIX: A pleasure, gentlemen. 1299 01:01:31,344 --> 01:01:33,746 You raised two fine young girls. 1300 01:01:33,813 --> 01:01:35,501 - BOTH: Thank you. - BILLIE: And this is Kid Cudi 1301 01:01:35,516 --> 01:01:37,384 who's not technically a historical figure. 1302 01:01:37,449 --> 01:01:39,519 - Kinda am now, I think. - Yeah. 1303 01:01:39,585 --> 01:01:41,721 It's a great honor to meet you all. 1304 01:01:41,789 --> 01:01:46,826 Yeah. Welcome to, and sorry about, Hell. 1305 01:01:46,893 --> 01:01:47,894 My bad. 1306 01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:50,629 (SPEAKING GERMAN) 1307 01:01:50,697 --> 01:01:54,000 (IN ENGLISH) Oh. That's Dennis Caleb McCoy. 1308 01:01:54,067 --> 01:01:57,070 We've met. He killed us. 1309 01:01:57,137 --> 01:01:59,005 ROBOT: I'm really sorry 1310 01:01:59,072 --> 01:02:01,375 that I lasered you all. 1311 01:02:01,442 --> 01:02:03,208 And... 1312 01:02:03,275 --> 01:02:05,311 I just need to tell you... 1313 01:02:05,378 --> 01:02:10,049 My name is Dennis Caleb McCoy, and... 1314 01:02:10,117 --> 01:02:12,119 TED: Thank you, Dennis. 1315 01:02:12,186 --> 01:02:14,221 Well, thanks for coming to get us. 1316 01:02:14,288 --> 01:02:15,439 How're we gonna get outta here? 1317 01:02:15,454 --> 01:02:16,923 We're gonna go talk to Death. 1318 01:02:16,989 --> 01:02:19,892 Oh. Well, isn't he still mad at you guys? 1319 01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:21,260 Oh, yeah. 1320 01:02:21,327 --> 01:02:23,061 - And we're still mad at him. - Yeah. 1321 01:02:23,128 --> 01:02:24,563 Oh. 1322 01:02:24,630 --> 01:02:25,931 Nineteen minutes. 1323 01:02:25,998 --> 01:02:27,734 Everyone, follow us. 1324 01:02:31,471 --> 01:02:33,306 DEATH: Yes way! 1325 01:02:33,373 --> 01:02:34,373 (CHUCKLES) 1326 01:02:34,407 --> 01:02:37,943 Best 75 out of 81. 1327 01:02:38,010 --> 01:02:40,313 Is he playing Hopscotch by himself? 1328 01:02:40,380 --> 01:02:41,581 DEATH: I have bested you again. 1329 01:02:41,648 --> 01:02:44,117 BILL: He looks miserable, dude. 1330 01:02:44,184 --> 01:02:46,119 DEATH: Yes! (LAUGHS) 1331 01:02:46,186 --> 01:02:47,420 Dude, he's cheating! 1332 01:02:47,487 --> 01:02:48,956 Yes! 1333 01:02:51,358 --> 01:02:52,993 - DEATH: Take a hike. - Let's go, dude. 1334 01:02:53,059 --> 01:02:54,159 Good luck, Dads. 1335 01:02:54,226 --> 01:02:55,226 - Be sweet. - TED: Okay. 1336 01:02:55,262 --> 01:02:56,764 BILL: Okay. 1337 01:03:01,034 --> 01:03:02,769 BOTH: Hey, Death. 1338 01:03:03,835 --> 01:03:06,973 Why, if it isn't the Wyld Stallyns. 1339 01:03:08,307 --> 01:03:10,177 Have you come to sue me again? 1340 01:03:10,244 --> 01:03:12,045 TED: No, Death. Not at all. 1341 01:03:12,112 --> 01:03:14,715 No. We just need to talk to you, Death. 1342 01:03:15,215 --> 01:03:17,584 Talk to the hand. 1343 01:03:18,918 --> 01:03:21,054 It will only take a second, dude. 1344 01:03:21,121 --> 01:03:22,422 (DEATH VOCALIZING) 1345 01:03:22,489 --> 01:03:24,191 - TED: Death! - BILL: Come on, dude. 1346 01:03:24,257 --> 01:03:26,460 (DEATH CONTINUES VOCALIZING) 1347 01:03:28,527 --> 01:03:29,628 DEATH: Who is it? 1348 01:03:29,695 --> 01:03:31,632 Bill and Ted! 1349 01:03:31,697 --> 01:03:35,467 What? Did your restraining order run out? 1350 01:03:35,534 --> 01:03:37,503 Did the judge change his mind? 1351 01:03:37,570 --> 01:03:41,106 So, now I am allowed to get close to you? Hmm? 1352 01:03:41,173 --> 01:03:42,208 Is this too close? 1353 01:03:42,275 --> 01:03:43,542 Death. 1354 01:03:43,610 --> 01:03:45,746 We didn't want to sue you, dude. 1355 01:03:45,811 --> 01:03:48,882 - Remember, be sweet, dude. - You're right. 1356 01:03:48,947 --> 01:03:52,684 You tried to take the name Wyld Stallyns. 1357 01:03:52,751 --> 01:03:54,721 I was Wyld Stallyns. 1358 01:03:54,788 --> 01:03:56,255 What are you talking about? 1359 01:03:56,322 --> 01:03:58,990 You kicked me out because you was jealous of me. 1360 01:03:59,057 --> 01:04:00,726 - No, no, no, dude. - Yes, yes, yes. 1361 01:04:00,793 --> 01:04:02,695 You quit the band to go out on your own! 1362 01:04:02,762 --> 01:04:04,264 You wouldn't let me play! 1363 01:04:04,331 --> 01:04:07,266 Dude, you were playing 40-minute bass solos. 1364 01:04:07,333 --> 01:04:08,701 No one but you could play! 1365 01:04:08,768 --> 01:04:11,304 I was in the groove! 1366 01:04:11,371 --> 01:04:13,773 - What? - Those 40-minute solos, 1367 01:04:13,840 --> 01:04:17,009 that was the highlight of your shows. 1368 01:04:17,077 --> 01:04:20,747 It's no wonder you went down in the tubes. 1369 01:04:20,813 --> 01:04:22,148 (SCOFFS) 1370 01:04:24,650 --> 01:04:26,586 What're we gonna do? 1371 01:04:27,286 --> 01:04:28,788 Oh... 1372 01:04:28,855 --> 01:04:30,824 BILL: Death, the reason we came here is 'cause 1373 01:04:30,891 --> 01:04:32,659 we have to play a song at some place 1374 01:04:32,726 --> 01:04:33,793 called MP 46, 1375 01:04:33,860 --> 01:04:35,662 - like, right now. - Hmm. 1376 01:04:35,728 --> 01:04:39,364 All of time is gonna fold in on itself, dude. 1377 01:04:39,431 --> 01:04:42,001 I have been demoted down here 1378 01:04:42,068 --> 01:04:46,405 because I took two so-called "friends" back up 1379 01:04:46,472 --> 01:04:48,641 who should not have gone back up. 1380 01:04:48,708 --> 01:04:50,742 So, if that is why you're here... 1381 01:04:50,809 --> 01:04:54,081 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) Sorry, not sorry. 1382 01:04:54,947 --> 01:04:56,250 Bye! 1383 01:04:57,483 --> 01:04:59,653 - What now? - I don't know, dude. 1384 01:04:59,719 --> 01:05:01,820 Dads, we have an idea. 1385 01:05:01,887 --> 01:05:03,556 You mind if we try? 1386 01:05:03,623 --> 01:05:05,110 I mean, the dude is the most rad bass player, like, ever. 1387 01:05:05,125 --> 01:05:06,592 Yeah. 1388 01:05:08,161 --> 01:05:09,229 BOTH: Please. 1389 01:05:09,295 --> 01:05:11,030 - BILLIE: Okay. - Come on. 1390 01:05:11,097 --> 01:05:13,300 - THEA: All right. - He's kind of a dick. 1391 01:05:13,367 --> 01:05:15,068 THEA: Okay. 1392 01:05:18,204 --> 01:05:20,673 (STRUMMING GUITAR) 1393 01:05:23,775 --> 01:05:27,880 BOTH: Dads, we think you should wait outside. 1394 01:05:27,947 --> 01:05:30,182 (CREATURE SCREECHING) 1395 01:05:44,998 --> 01:05:47,367 - Oh. - Excuse us, Mr. Death, sir. 1396 01:05:47,434 --> 01:05:49,403 It's good to see you again, Mr. Death, sir. 1397 01:05:49,469 --> 01:05:52,704 Well, if it isn't Little Bill and Little Ted. 1398 01:05:52,771 --> 01:05:55,208 We're still your hugest fans. 1399 01:05:55,275 --> 01:05:56,610 Yeah. 1400 01:05:57,744 --> 01:05:59,612 Don't fudge with me. 1401 01:05:59,679 --> 01:06:00,919 We're not fudging with you, sir. 1402 01:06:00,980 --> 01:06:02,581 - It's legit. - Yeah. 1403 01:06:02,648 --> 01:06:03,817 - DEATH: Really? - Yeah. 1404 01:06:03,884 --> 01:06:05,184 I mean, The Lonely Soul Surfer 1405 01:06:05,251 --> 01:06:08,188 was the most underrated album in 1998. 1406 01:06:08,253 --> 01:06:09,855 The critics hated it. 1407 01:06:09,922 --> 01:06:11,157 Well, they just weren't ready 1408 01:06:11,224 --> 01:06:12,792 for an album that was all bass. 1409 01:06:12,858 --> 01:06:15,929 "It was all over the place," they said. 1410 01:06:15,994 --> 01:06:20,365 "It was a raging, confused mess," they said. 1411 01:06:20,432 --> 01:06:25,471 "It was even worse than Pale on Pale," they said. 1412 01:06:25,538 --> 01:06:27,574 BOTH: Well... 1413 01:06:27,641 --> 01:06:30,876 (HESITATING) It was, in parts. 1414 01:06:30,943 --> 01:06:32,579 But in other parts... 1415 01:06:32,646 --> 01:06:34,314 The outro in I'll Never Be Loved 1416 01:06:34,380 --> 01:06:36,982 - is the most bodacious. - (DEATH CHUCKLES) 1417 01:06:37,050 --> 01:06:38,618 I mean, the last three bars 1418 01:06:38,684 --> 01:06:41,188 before the chorus in Too Pale to Cry... 1419 01:06:41,253 --> 01:06:43,089 Oh, well... (CHUCKLES) 1420 01:06:43,155 --> 01:06:47,960 What did you think of the hook in Boogie Down With Doctor D? 1421 01:06:48,027 --> 01:06:49,961 What can we even say? 1422 01:06:50,028 --> 01:06:53,565 Insane. We've never seen left-hand technique like that. 1423 01:06:53,632 --> 01:06:56,402 I know! I was self-taught. 1424 01:06:56,469 --> 01:07:00,173 You have some crazy, crazy skills, dude! 1425 01:07:00,239 --> 01:07:02,708 Well... (CHUCKLES) 1426 01:07:02,775 --> 01:07:04,877 - You know what you need? - Hmm? 1427 01:07:05,945 --> 01:07:08,514 You just need a band. 1428 01:07:08,581 --> 01:07:10,250 And the band needs you. 1429 01:07:12,251 --> 01:07:13,253 Oh. 1430 01:07:13,318 --> 01:07:15,188 - T? - B. 1431 01:07:19,391 --> 01:07:20,860 Come on in. 1432 01:07:21,762 --> 01:07:23,329 Dads, 1433 01:07:23,396 --> 01:07:26,432 is there something you would like to say to Death? 1434 01:07:26,498 --> 01:07:29,702 (EXHALES DEEPLY) Oh... 1435 01:07:34,206 --> 01:07:36,208 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 1436 01:07:41,114 --> 01:07:45,150 We're sorry for how things went between us, Death. 1437 01:07:45,217 --> 01:07:46,518 Yeah. 1438 01:07:46,585 --> 01:07:48,387 Sincerely sorry. 1439 01:07:50,090 --> 01:07:55,295 I am sorry that fame went to my head. 1440 01:07:56,563 --> 01:07:59,132 It's very intoxicating. 1441 01:08:00,032 --> 01:08:04,036 We really did love playing with you, dude. 1442 01:08:04,938 --> 01:08:07,239 We really did rock, didn't we? 1443 01:08:07,306 --> 01:08:09,909 - We definitely did. - (DEATH CHUCKLES) 1444 01:08:09,976 --> 01:08:12,412 And if it's not too late, Death... 1445 01:08:12,478 --> 01:08:13,812 DEATH: Yeah? 1446 01:08:13,880 --> 01:08:17,583 Would you consider rejoining... 1447 01:08:17,649 --> 01:08:20,753 BOTH: Wyld Stallyns? 1448 01:08:21,921 --> 01:08:24,191 Oh... I... 1449 01:08:31,631 --> 01:08:33,600 I suppose. 1450 01:08:33,667 --> 01:08:35,969 (SOBBING) 1451 01:08:37,802 --> 01:08:39,338 (LAUGHING) 1452 01:08:40,207 --> 01:08:42,142 (SNIFFLING) 1453 01:08:42,208 --> 01:08:44,376 (ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFF PLAYS) 1454 01:08:45,612 --> 01:08:47,980 (IMITATING GUITAR RIFF) 1455 01:08:49,649 --> 01:08:51,450 Okay, let's go! 1456 01:08:51,516 --> 01:08:53,818 Right. Right. 1457 01:08:53,886 --> 01:08:56,056 (BANGING ON DOOR) 1458 01:08:58,524 --> 01:09:01,094 It's Dennis. Hi. 1459 01:09:03,996 --> 01:09:05,663 - I got lost. - TED: Get in, Dennis. 1460 01:09:05,730 --> 01:09:07,900 Okay. Thank you, guys. 1461 01:09:07,966 --> 01:09:09,534 - Hey, Kid Cudi. - Hey, Dennis. 1462 01:09:09,601 --> 01:09:11,089 - (MOZART SPEAKING GERMAN) - Oh, hello. Hello, everyone. 1463 01:09:11,104 --> 01:09:13,506 Hey. Hey. Yeah, okay, friends. 1464 01:09:13,573 --> 01:09:15,742 Let's rock! 1465 01:09:15,809 --> 01:09:18,177 - (ROCK SONG PLAYING) - (ALL SCREAMING) 1466 01:09:23,216 --> 01:09:26,719 It was cool when you said, "Let's rock," 1467 01:09:26,786 --> 01:09:29,454 because it made me want to rock. 1468 01:09:29,521 --> 01:09:31,056 Uh-huh. 1469 01:09:31,123 --> 01:09:33,659 You don't just get to rock. 1470 01:09:33,726 --> 01:09:36,828 You got to earn the right to rock. 1471 01:09:36,895 --> 01:09:40,532 Dude! We got 11 minutes. 1472 01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:42,802 Anyone know where MP 46 is? 1473 01:09:42,868 --> 01:09:44,304 Depends on your perspective. 1474 01:09:44,371 --> 01:09:46,271 To really dig the groove of the quantum realm, 1475 01:09:46,338 --> 01:09:48,340 you gotta choose a place to dig it from. 1476 01:09:48,407 --> 01:09:49,842 Dig? 1477 01:09:51,176 --> 01:09:53,947 Anyone know where MP 46 is? 1478 01:09:54,012 --> 01:09:56,349 (ALL SCREAMING) 1479 01:10:00,286 --> 01:10:02,288 We're never gonna make our flight. 1480 01:10:02,354 --> 01:10:03,989 (SIGHS) 1481 01:10:05,024 --> 01:10:07,059 (HORSE TROTTING) 1482 01:10:07,993 --> 01:10:10,662 MISSY: Deac, Deac. Look at that. 1483 01:10:10,729 --> 01:10:12,464 (TAPPING ON WINDOW) 1484 01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:16,536 Whoa! 1485 01:10:17,002 --> 01:10:18,505 I got this. 1486 01:10:19,773 --> 01:10:21,274 Stop! 1487 01:10:22,675 --> 01:10:24,511 (GROUP SCREAMING) 1488 01:10:25,712 --> 01:10:27,447 BOTH: We're back! 1489 01:10:27,514 --> 01:10:28,949 What? 1490 01:10:31,417 --> 01:10:32,885 BOTH: This is bad. 1491 01:10:32,952 --> 01:10:34,753 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1492 01:10:34,820 --> 01:10:37,056 BOTH: Really bad. 1493 01:10:37,823 --> 01:10:40,226 BILLIE: Okay, guys, let's go! 1494 01:10:42,795 --> 01:10:44,396 Come on! 1495 01:10:44,463 --> 01:10:46,131 Come on, Mozart. 1496 01:10:48,333 --> 01:10:49,734 BILL: Oh, Ted! Even if we knew 1497 01:10:49,801 --> 01:10:51,237 where we were supposed to play, 1498 01:10:51,304 --> 01:10:53,773 there's no way we'd ever get there in time. 1499 01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:55,842 Bill, look! 1500 01:10:55,908 --> 01:10:58,310 BILL: This is MP 46? It makes no sense. 1501 01:10:58,377 --> 01:11:00,913 How can the song happen right here? 1502 01:11:01,881 --> 01:11:04,618 Because this is where it happened. 1503 01:11:05,217 --> 01:11:06,485 Ted, you're right, dude! 1504 01:11:06,552 --> 01:11:09,956 But, dude, what're we gonna play? 1505 01:11:10,856 --> 01:11:12,591 I don't know, dude. 1506 01:11:16,194 --> 01:11:19,164 Uh, Bill and Ted? I saved these. 1507 01:11:19,231 --> 01:11:21,000 I'm not sure if... 1508 01:11:21,067 --> 01:11:23,336 they're of any use, but... 1509 01:11:23,402 --> 01:11:25,538 - Thanks, Dennis. - THEA: Dads! 1510 01:11:25,604 --> 01:11:27,606 Dads! MP 46. 1511 01:11:27,673 --> 01:11:29,007 And the band is ready to play. 1512 01:11:29,073 --> 01:11:31,577 Alls we need is the song. 1513 01:11:36,815 --> 01:11:38,516 Thea. 1514 01:11:38,583 --> 01:11:39,918 Billie. 1515 01:11:39,985 --> 01:11:43,288 We don't know how to tell you this. 1516 01:11:43,355 --> 01:11:45,992 We don't have the song. 1517 01:11:47,025 --> 01:11:48,394 Wait... 1518 01:11:48,795 --> 01:11:50,396 BOTH: You don't? 1519 01:11:51,997 --> 01:11:53,698 BOTH: No. 1520 01:11:54,100 --> 01:11:55,568 We're sorry. 1521 01:11:55,635 --> 01:11:57,470 We're sorry, Dads. 1522 01:11:57,536 --> 01:12:00,506 Yeah, we really wanted to help you out with this. 1523 01:12:00,573 --> 01:12:02,976 (WHOOSHING) 1524 01:12:05,478 --> 01:12:08,515 Dude, you seeing what I'm seeing? 1525 01:12:12,717 --> 01:12:14,253 Preston? 1526 01:12:14,753 --> 01:12:16,355 Logan? 1527 01:12:18,623 --> 01:12:21,193 Preston/Logan. 1528 01:12:22,695 --> 01:12:24,463 Whoa. 1529 01:12:25,331 --> 01:12:27,634 BOTH: What is it, Dads? 1530 01:12:27,699 --> 01:12:29,469 BOTH: It's you! 1531 01:12:29,536 --> 01:12:30,869 BOTH: What? 1532 01:12:30,936 --> 01:12:33,939 It was you the whole time. We just didn't see it. 1533 01:12:34,006 --> 01:12:35,274 We can't write music. 1534 01:12:35,341 --> 01:12:37,743 Whatever... We just listen to stuff. 1535 01:12:37,810 --> 01:12:39,212 From things we like. 1536 01:12:39,278 --> 01:12:40,598 And we just kind of put stuff together. 1537 01:12:40,613 --> 01:12:42,148 Yeah, maybe you just listen a little, 1538 01:12:42,213 --> 01:12:43,716 make things you like. 1539 01:12:43,783 --> 01:12:45,484 And put it all together. 1540 01:12:45,551 --> 01:12:48,854 Girls, you're not here to back us. 1541 01:12:48,921 --> 01:12:51,758 We're here to back you. 1542 01:12:51,824 --> 01:12:53,659 We're your band. 1543 01:12:54,726 --> 01:12:56,095 BOTH: Whoa. 1544 01:12:59,731 --> 01:13:01,333 BOTH: Follow us! 1545 01:13:05,203 --> 01:13:06,805 MAN: Here you go. Instruments! 1546 01:13:06,872 --> 01:13:08,373 - BOTH: Wow! - (MAN LAUGHING) 1547 01:13:08,440 --> 01:13:11,577 Dude, I just thought of something. 1548 01:13:11,644 --> 01:13:12,945 What is it, Ted? 1549 01:13:13,011 --> 01:13:15,447 How is just listening to a song... 1550 01:13:15,515 --> 01:13:17,850 ...gonna unite the whole world... 1551 01:13:17,917 --> 01:13:20,086 ...throughout all of time? 1552 01:13:20,787 --> 01:13:23,323 That is a good question, dude. 1553 01:13:27,527 --> 01:13:29,662 It's almost like they'd all have to hear it 1554 01:13:29,729 --> 01:13:31,264 in order to play it. 1555 01:13:31,331 --> 01:13:33,251 Ted, of course! That's how we're gonna unite 'em. 1556 01:13:33,297 --> 01:13:34,733 We get 'em to play along. 1557 01:13:34,801 --> 01:13:36,388 Well, if that's true, alls we gotta do is 1558 01:13:36,403 --> 01:13:37,789 get to everyone throughout all time. 1559 01:13:37,804 --> 01:13:40,072 Yeah, and get 'em instruments, dude. 1560 01:13:40,139 --> 01:13:42,740 TED: In seven minutes and 25 seconds. 1561 01:13:42,807 --> 01:13:44,275 What about a tambourine? 1562 01:13:44,342 --> 01:13:46,311 I mean, how hard can it be to rock with that? 1563 01:13:46,378 --> 01:13:49,515 Tambourine is not as easy as it looks. 1564 01:13:49,582 --> 01:13:52,419 What about dancing? I'm a very gifted dancer. 1565 01:13:52,484 --> 01:13:53,985 You dance? 1566 01:13:54,052 --> 01:13:55,621 - Mmm-hmm. - Really? 1567 01:13:55,688 --> 01:13:59,792 Why don't you go over there and rehearse your dance? 1568 01:14:00,092 --> 01:14:01,528 Okay. 1569 01:14:02,328 --> 01:14:03,762 Dude, we have no power! 1570 01:14:03,828 --> 01:14:05,030 Say no more. On it. 1571 01:14:05,097 --> 01:14:06,364 THEA: Okay. 1572 01:14:06,431 --> 01:14:08,199 - (NOTE PLAYS) - (SPEAKING GERMAN) 1573 01:14:08,266 --> 01:14:10,403 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1574 01:14:20,712 --> 01:14:22,247 There! Oh, Jo. 1575 01:14:22,314 --> 01:14:23,815 - Theodore. - William! 1576 01:14:23,882 --> 01:14:25,016 - Joanna! - Liz! 1577 01:14:25,083 --> 01:14:26,885 ELIZABETH: Hi. 1578 01:14:26,952 --> 01:14:29,789 Did you find a reality where we're all happy together? 1579 01:14:29,855 --> 01:14:31,222 ELIZABETH: We did. 1580 01:14:31,289 --> 01:14:34,594 We realized we're happiest in this reality. 1581 01:14:34,661 --> 01:14:36,296 BOTH: Sweet! 1582 01:14:39,231 --> 01:14:41,533 Now, um, did we hear you say something about 1583 01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:44,537 distributing instruments all throughout time? 1584 01:14:44,604 --> 01:14:45,637 Ready, T? 1585 01:14:45,703 --> 01:14:48,541 Five, six, five, six, seven, eight! 1586 01:14:48,608 --> 01:14:51,711 (INSTRUMENTS PLAYING HAPHAZARDLY) 1587 01:14:54,412 --> 01:14:57,382 Oh, my God, what's happening? 1588 01:14:58,015 --> 01:14:59,618 Excuse me, Mr. Cudi, sir? 1589 01:14:59,685 --> 01:15:01,921 Our wives just traveled through multiple realities. 1590 01:15:01,987 --> 01:15:03,267 And in doing so, they realized... 1591 01:15:03,322 --> 01:15:04,457 They're all happening 1592 01:15:04,523 --> 01:15:05,809 - simultaneously. - Simultaneously. 1593 01:15:05,824 --> 01:15:07,359 Do we need individual us's 1594 01:15:07,426 --> 01:15:09,595 to take instruments to infinite places? 1595 01:15:09,662 --> 01:15:13,032 Okay. See, contrary to what some have argued, 1596 01:15:13,099 --> 01:15:14,801 universal wave function is, 1597 01:15:14,868 --> 01:15:16,302 epistemologically speaking, 1598 01:15:16,368 --> 01:15:17,821 both cyclic and separating. In other words... 1599 01:15:17,836 --> 01:15:19,771 Excuse me, Kid Cudi. I don't mean to be rude, 1600 01:15:19,838 --> 01:15:22,341 but we have, like, four and a half minutes. 1601 01:15:23,676 --> 01:15:28,180 Madam. Madam! We have to go. It's not safe to be in here. 1602 01:15:28,247 --> 01:15:30,950 Where were you thinking of going? 1603 01:15:31,016 --> 01:15:33,085 (INSTRUMENTS CONTINUE PLAYING) 1604 01:15:33,152 --> 01:15:37,422 (SPEAKING GERMAN) 1605 01:15:41,493 --> 01:15:43,530 - (WHOOSHING) - (ALL GASP) 1606 01:15:45,965 --> 01:15:47,833 I think it's a lunar eclipse. 1607 01:15:47,900 --> 01:15:49,902 That is not lunar, you guys. 1608 01:15:49,967 --> 01:15:52,238 (HORNS HONKING) 1609 01:15:55,239 --> 01:15:57,208 This is a disaster, T. 1610 01:15:57,275 --> 01:15:59,043 What are we gonna do, B? 1611 01:15:59,110 --> 01:16:02,515 (INSTRUMENTS CONTINUE PLAYING) 1612 01:16:06,051 --> 01:16:07,987 BOTH: Stop! 1613 01:16:08,054 --> 01:16:10,823 All you need to do is go in the quantum superposition 1614 01:16:10,890 --> 01:16:12,057 with multiple realities. 1615 01:16:12,123 --> 01:16:13,858 ALL: But how? 1616 01:16:13,926 --> 01:16:16,214 Dudes, the booth is obviously a tunnel to the quantum realm. 1617 01:16:16,229 --> 01:16:17,695 Go, go, go! 1618 01:16:17,762 --> 01:16:19,564 - Thank you, Mr. Cudi! - Thank you, Mr. Cudi! 1619 01:16:19,631 --> 01:16:20,865 Station. 1620 01:16:20,932 --> 01:16:22,234 ALL: Station! 1621 01:16:22,301 --> 01:16:24,304 - Grom! - Grom, you start! 1622 01:16:25,337 --> 01:16:27,239 - No, no, no... - Stop, stop! 1623 01:16:27,306 --> 01:16:28,807 Here. 1624 01:16:28,873 --> 01:16:30,842 (BEATS PLAYING) 1625 01:16:35,314 --> 01:16:37,717 And now, Death! 1626 01:16:38,650 --> 01:16:41,153 Well... It's... Maybe something like... 1627 01:16:41,220 --> 01:16:42,387 BOTH: Too Pale to Cry. 1628 01:16:42,453 --> 01:16:44,724 - That last riff? - THEA: Amazing! 1629 01:16:46,925 --> 01:16:48,494 BILLIE AND THEA: Yeah. 1630 01:16:53,865 --> 01:16:56,635 TED: What're we gonna tell people to play? 1631 01:16:57,435 --> 01:16:59,505 - We'll be right back. - Okay. 1632 01:16:59,572 --> 01:17:02,342 Read me the number for the infinite, dude. 1633 01:17:04,277 --> 01:17:05,411 TED: Six-nine... 1634 01:17:05,478 --> 01:17:06,712 Six-nine... 1635 01:17:06,779 --> 01:17:08,014 Two-nine-nine... 1636 01:17:08,081 --> 01:17:09,921 - How about that concerto? - Okay, go tell him. 1637 01:17:09,948 --> 01:17:11,384 Mozart. 1638 01:17:14,686 --> 01:17:16,488 Three-four-five-five... 1639 01:17:16,555 --> 01:17:19,525 Five-one-zero-one... 1640 01:17:19,591 --> 01:17:21,192 I already said goodbye to the girls. 1641 01:17:21,260 --> 01:17:22,962 But I wanna stay here and dance. 1642 01:17:23,029 --> 01:17:24,897 Dennis. 1643 01:17:24,963 --> 01:17:27,032 Good luck, my excellent friends. 1644 01:17:27,099 --> 01:17:28,801 BOTH: Thanks, Kelly. 1645 01:17:28,868 --> 01:17:30,136 Later, Dennis. 1646 01:17:30,203 --> 01:17:32,839 My name is Dennis. Dennis McCoy. 1647 01:17:33,972 --> 01:17:35,440 Two-one-eight. 1648 01:17:35,507 --> 01:17:38,944 THEA: Faster, you know? Yeah! Now, D. 1649 01:17:39,011 --> 01:17:40,579 Oh, yeah. 1650 01:17:41,279 --> 01:17:43,248 Yeah! 1651 01:17:43,315 --> 01:17:45,318 Watch this! 1652 01:17:45,384 --> 01:17:48,421 (INSTRUMENTS HARMONIZING) 1653 01:17:49,255 --> 01:17:50,823 (SPEAKING GERMAN) 1654 01:17:50,889 --> 01:17:53,359 (IN ENGLISH) Jimi, for the win! 1655 01:17:55,193 --> 01:17:56,529 One-eight-two-eight... 1656 01:17:56,595 --> 01:17:57,996 Okay. Okay. The girls said C major. 1657 01:17:58,064 --> 01:18:00,032 One-hundred thirteen beats per minute. 1658 01:18:00,099 --> 01:18:02,702 - Got it. - All right. Yeah. 1659 01:18:02,769 --> 01:18:05,570 Four-five-five. Five-one... 1660 01:18:12,912 --> 01:18:14,881 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1661 01:18:22,520 --> 01:18:23,907 - Four-three-five... - Guys, maybe just press 1662 01:18:23,922 --> 01:18:24,923 the infinite button. 1663 01:18:24,990 --> 01:18:26,324 Oh, yeah. 1664 01:18:26,391 --> 01:18:28,360 ELIZABETH: Yeah. 1665 01:18:29,362 --> 01:18:31,096 (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) 1666 01:18:33,097 --> 01:18:34,367 One last thing. 1667 01:18:34,432 --> 01:18:36,935 I love you, Elizabeth. 1668 01:18:37,002 --> 01:18:38,737 I love you, Joanna. 1669 01:18:38,804 --> 01:18:40,073 We know. 1670 01:18:41,439 --> 01:18:43,741 I love you. 1671 01:18:43,809 --> 01:18:46,445 - Okay, let's go. - Okay. 1672 01:18:49,815 --> 01:18:51,083 (SCREAMING) 1673 01:19:12,003 --> 01:19:13,939 - How's it goin', Deac? - Whoa! 1674 01:19:14,006 --> 01:19:15,641 - Missy. - Oh! 1675 01:19:15,707 --> 01:19:18,543 In case you're wondering, I'm essentially an infinite me. 1676 01:19:18,610 --> 01:19:19,944 Catch you later. 1677 01:19:20,011 --> 01:19:22,081 BOTH: Outstanding! 1678 01:19:25,384 --> 01:19:27,086 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 1679 01:19:31,490 --> 01:19:32,591 Yeah! 1680 01:19:32,658 --> 01:19:34,761 (ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING) 1681 01:19:37,962 --> 01:19:39,698 (ALL GASP) 1682 01:19:47,639 --> 01:19:49,775 - Excellent! - Excellent! 1683 01:19:52,645 --> 01:19:54,781 BOTH: Dads! 1684 01:20:05,024 --> 01:20:06,492 BOTH: Wait. 1685 01:20:09,994 --> 01:20:11,663 (MUSIC STOPS) 1686 01:20:12,698 --> 01:20:15,902 San Dimas, make some noise! 1687 01:20:16,502 --> 01:20:18,871 (ALL VOCALIZING) 1688 01:20:26,244 --> 01:20:27,846 Yeah! 1689 01:20:30,149 --> 01:20:32,285 ALL: Ten, nine... 1690 01:20:32,350 --> 01:20:34,252 eight, seven... 1691 01:20:34,319 --> 01:20:35,653 six... 1692 01:20:35,720 --> 01:20:37,922 - five... - Dads! 1693 01:20:37,989 --> 01:20:39,291 ...four, three... 1694 01:20:39,358 --> 01:20:41,726 two, one. 1695 01:20:51,837 --> 01:20:54,507 Madam, you need to see this. 1696 01:20:58,344 --> 01:20:59,845 (BEEPING) 1697 01:20:59,912 --> 01:21:02,981 Your father would be so proud of you. 1698 01:21:14,560 --> 01:21:15,661 Wow. 1699 01:21:15,728 --> 01:21:16,895 - Bye! - Bye, Kid Cudi! 1700 01:21:16,962 --> 01:21:18,931 - Bye! - See ya, Kid Cudi! 1701 01:21:54,033 --> 01:21:55,234 It's working! 1702 01:21:55,301 --> 01:21:56,802 Yeah! 1703 01:22:02,807 --> 01:22:04,877 (ALL CHEERING) 1704 01:22:17,989 --> 01:22:19,625 BILLIE: And so, it wasn't so much 1705 01:22:19,692 --> 01:22:21,259 the song that made the difference. 1706 01:22:21,326 --> 01:22:24,697 THEA: It was everyone playing it together. 1707 01:22:26,030 --> 01:22:27,867 BILLIE: And it worked. 1708 01:29:38,697 --> 01:29:40,765 (WHEEZING) Dude... 1709 01:29:40,832 --> 01:29:44,969 are you dead yet? 1710 01:29:45,036 --> 01:29:47,072 No. 1711 01:29:47,805 --> 01:29:50,107 (95-YEAR-OLD BILL WHEEZING) 1712 01:29:50,375 --> 01:29:52,444 Are you? 1713 01:29:53,845 --> 01:29:55,981 No. 1714 01:29:56,047 --> 01:30:02,186 There's one more thing we need to do 1715 01:30:02,253 --> 01:30:04,422 before we go. 1716 01:30:05,791 --> 01:30:07,693 Definitely. 1717 01:30:20,104 --> 01:30:21,605 Ready, Bill? 1718 01:30:21,672 --> 01:30:23,474 Ready, Ted. 1719 01:30:23,908 --> 01:30:25,342 - One... - Two... 1720 01:30:25,409 --> 01:30:28,546 BOTH: One, two, three, four! 1721 01:30:28,613 --> 01:30:31,283 (GUITARS PLAYING) 1722 01:30:51,802 --> 01:30:53,671 (GRUNTING) 1723 01:30:56,475 --> 01:30:57,976 95-YEAR-OLD BILL: Okay. 1724 01:30:58,042 --> 01:30:59,676 95-YEAR-OLD TED: Yeah. Okay. 1725 01:30:59,743 --> 01:31:02,113 - Okay. - Okay. 1726 01:31:15,493 --> 01:31:18,329 - We still got it. - We still got it. 1727 01:31:18,395 --> 01:31:20,798 - Hey, Bill. - Yeah? 1728 01:31:20,864 --> 01:31:22,701 (WHEEZING) 1729 01:31:23,935 --> 01:31:26,371 (GROANING) 1730 01:31:27,904 --> 01:31:30,141 Okay, I have to sit down. 1731 01:31:30,908 --> 01:31:32,677 I'm sorry. 1732 01:31:33,578 --> 01:31:35,881 - That was fun. - That was good. 1733 01:31:35,947 --> 01:31:38,117 (WHEEZING) 1734 01:31:40,685 --> 01:31:42,353 Nurse! 1735 01:31:42,457 --> 01:31:47,457 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 117449

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