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Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:34,323 --> 00:00:35,323
THEA: Ready, B?
3
00:00:35,359 --> 00:00:37,128
BILLIE: Ready, T.
4
00:00:37,194 --> 00:00:38,662
THEA: Okay.
5
00:00:38,728 --> 00:00:41,631
BILLIE: This is the story of
our most excellent dads.
6
00:00:41,698 --> 00:00:45,102
I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire.
7
00:00:45,168 --> 00:00:47,704
And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan.
8
00:00:48,604 --> 00:00:51,507
BOTH: And we're Wyld Stallyns!
9
00:00:51,575 --> 00:00:54,412
BILLIE: This was probably
the first time you saw 'em.
10
00:00:55,279 --> 00:00:57,347
BOTH: Let's rock!
11
00:00:58,414 --> 00:01:01,384
THEA: And this
was probably the last.
12
00:01:01,451 --> 00:01:03,386
BILLIE: Not long
before we were born,
13
00:01:03,453 --> 00:01:05,133
they were told
they were gonna write a song
14
00:01:05,156 --> 00:01:08,392
that was gonna
unite the entire world.
15
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:09,745
THEA: Which they thought
they had done
16
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,195
with their hit single...
17
00:01:11,260 --> 00:01:13,496
Those Who Rock.
18
00:01:13,563 --> 00:01:16,332
BILLIE: Not only did it not
unite the world,
19
00:01:17,468 --> 00:01:19,370
but the band fell apart.
20
00:01:19,436 --> 00:01:24,008
And our dads, alone now,
were trying harder and harder.
21
00:01:24,075 --> 00:01:26,844
THEA: But the problem was,
the harder Dads tried...
22
00:01:26,909 --> 00:01:28,311
BILLIE: The less interested
23
00:01:28,378 --> 00:01:30,713
people seemed to be
in their music.
24
00:01:30,781 --> 00:01:34,418
THEA: Not only was it wearing
on them and on the family...
25
00:01:34,484 --> 00:01:36,052
BILLIE: But the universe
they were told
26
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,822
they were gonna
bring together...
27
00:01:37,888 --> 00:01:40,057
THEA: Was actually
starting to unravel.
28
00:01:40,123 --> 00:01:43,227
BILLIE: Yeah,
time was folding in on itself.
29
00:01:43,927 --> 00:01:45,295
It was bad.
30
00:01:45,361 --> 00:01:46,396
What, what?
31
00:01:46,462 --> 00:01:47,563
THEA: Totally, dude.
32
00:01:47,631 --> 00:01:48,765
Make some noise!
33
00:01:48,831 --> 00:01:51,334
(GASPS)
34
00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:56,106
BILLIE: Anyways, this is how
we got to where we are now.
35
00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:02,746
BILL: Hello,
friends and loved ones.
36
00:02:02,813 --> 00:02:04,781
Let us welcome you,
one and all
37
00:02:04,847 --> 00:02:07,951
to this
most joyous of occasions!
38
00:02:12,288 --> 00:02:14,890
Ted and I have known Missy
in different capacities
39
00:02:14,957 --> 00:02:16,860
for many decades.
40
00:02:16,926 --> 00:02:19,695
First, she was our babysitter
when we were ten.
41
00:02:19,763 --> 00:02:21,865
Then we both invited her
to the prom
42
00:02:21,931 --> 00:02:23,966
when she was a senior
and we were freshmen.
43
00:02:24,033 --> 00:02:25,269
BILL: (SOFTLY) Yeah!
44
00:02:25,335 --> 00:02:27,671
Two years later,
she married my dad
45
00:02:27,736 --> 00:02:29,606
and Missy became Mom.
46
00:02:29,673 --> 00:02:33,376
After divorcing Bill's dad,
she married my dad
47
00:02:33,443 --> 00:02:35,145
and became my mom.
48
00:02:35,211 --> 00:02:36,478
Yeah.
49
00:02:36,545 --> 00:02:38,414
And now she's marrying
Ted's little brother,
50
00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,483
Officer Deacon Logan.
51
00:02:41,251 --> 00:02:43,187
(APPLAUSE)
52
00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:45,956
Yeah.
53
00:02:46,522 --> 00:02:48,359
Missy, Bill and I,
54
00:02:48,425 --> 00:02:50,961
along with my beautiful wife,
Elizabeth,
55
00:02:51,027 --> 00:02:52,661
and our daughter, Billie...
56
00:02:52,729 --> 00:02:57,434
And my beautiful wife, Joanna,
and our daughter, Thea,
57
00:02:57,501 --> 00:02:59,536
all wanna welcome you back...
58
00:02:59,602 --> 00:03:01,472
BOTH: With open arms.
59
00:03:01,538 --> 00:03:03,340
(APPLAUSE)
60
00:03:04,441 --> 00:03:05,908
This happy event
would seem to make
61
00:03:05,975 --> 00:03:07,677
Deacon his own father-in-law
62
00:03:07,743 --> 00:03:09,180
and Ted his own uncle.
63
00:03:09,246 --> 00:03:12,983
Not to mention making my dad
his own son.
64
00:03:13,049 --> 00:03:14,551
(SCATTERED CHUCKLING)
65
00:03:14,616 --> 00:03:16,171
BILL: And with that
beautiful thought in mind,
66
00:03:16,186 --> 00:03:17,754
for your first dance,
67
00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:20,824
we wish to present you
with a matrimonial offering.
68
00:03:20,890 --> 00:03:22,691
A sneak peek
at the world premiere
69
00:03:22,758 --> 00:03:24,460
of our newest sonic creation.
70
00:03:24,527 --> 00:03:26,162
We're not sure
if this is going to be
71
00:03:26,229 --> 00:03:28,131
the song
that unites the world.
72
00:03:28,198 --> 00:03:29,599
We're pretty sure it might.
73
00:03:29,665 --> 00:03:32,468
- At least we hope.
- Yeah.
74
00:03:34,604 --> 00:03:36,439
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
75
00:03:38,908 --> 00:03:43,146
Sure to be another real doozy
from the Wyld Stallyns.
76
00:03:43,212 --> 00:03:44,513
BILL: Check one, two.
77
00:03:44,580 --> 00:03:46,649
(SIGHS) Let's dance,
Freaky Deaky.
78
00:03:46,717 --> 00:03:48,953
(BOTH MOANING)
79
00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:52,288
You got it, Kissy Missy.
80
00:03:52,354 --> 00:03:54,657
Oh, shh.
Your dad used to call me that.
81
00:03:54,724 --> 00:03:56,192
Totally aware of that, babe.
82
00:03:56,258 --> 00:03:58,961
Please enjoy the first
three movements of...
83
00:03:59,028 --> 00:04:01,497
That Which
Binds Us Through Time...
84
00:04:01,564 --> 00:04:06,736
The Chemical, Physical, and
Biological Nature of Love...
85
00:04:06,802 --> 00:04:11,307
An Exploration of
the Meaning of Meaning.
86
00:04:11,375 --> 00:04:13,509
Part One.
87
00:04:13,576 --> 00:04:15,512
(ALL APPLAUDING)
88
00:04:15,579 --> 00:04:17,713
(BOTH CLEARING THROATS)
89
00:04:17,781 --> 00:04:20,750
- Ready, Bill?
- Ready, Ted.
90
00:04:20,817 --> 00:04:22,084
- One.
- Two.
91
00:04:22,151 --> 00:04:24,254
BOTH: One, two, three, four.
92
00:04:24,321 --> 00:04:26,657
(WARBLING)
93
00:05:11,901 --> 00:05:14,437
(CONTINUES WARBLING)
94
00:05:15,605 --> 00:05:17,374
(SCOFFS)
95
00:05:22,178 --> 00:05:24,347
Dad, I've told you
a thousand times,
96
00:05:24,415 --> 00:05:26,617
Bill and I
have to keep going till...
97
00:05:26,682 --> 00:05:29,519
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Till your
music unites the world.
98
00:05:29,586 --> 00:05:32,422
Chief Logan, the people
in the future told us...
99
00:05:32,488 --> 00:05:33,842
Bill, Bill, Bill,
you didn't time-travel.
100
00:05:33,857 --> 00:05:35,259
TED: We did.
101
00:05:35,324 --> 00:05:36,894
Your wives
aren't from medieval England.
102
00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:38,361
BILL: They are.
103
00:05:38,427 --> 00:05:39,362
LOGAN: And you didn't go
to Heaven and Hell.
104
00:05:39,428 --> 00:05:40,428
We did!
105
00:05:40,463 --> 00:05:41,549
- You didn't!
- BILL: We did!
106
00:05:41,564 --> 00:05:42,764
And you know why?
107
00:05:42,831 --> 00:05:46,336
Because it's impossible.
108
00:05:46,401 --> 00:05:48,971
Here's a real idea
for you two.
109
00:05:49,038 --> 00:05:50,473
Here it comes, dude.
110
00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:52,309
Get real jobs.
111
00:05:52,375 --> 00:05:55,111
Be role models
to your daughters.
112
00:05:55,177 --> 00:05:56,945
Oh, never mind.
113
00:05:57,012 --> 00:05:58,180
You are.
114
00:05:58,247 --> 00:06:00,149
They're 24,
they live at home
115
00:06:00,216 --> 00:06:01,984
and they're unemployed.
116
00:06:02,052 --> 00:06:03,754
You remember
when you used to call them.
117
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:05,055
"Little Bill," "Little Ted"?
118
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:06,789
We thought
it was cute, Gramps.
119
00:06:06,855 --> 00:06:08,190
BILL: Hey.
120
00:06:08,257 --> 00:06:10,159
Yeah. Well, it turned out
to be a curse.
121
00:06:10,226 --> 00:06:13,362
All I ever see them do is
sit around, listen to music.
122
00:06:13,430 --> 00:06:14,930
That is our primary activity,
123
00:06:14,997 --> 00:06:16,432
- definitely.
- Yeah.
124
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:17,567
You guys okay?
125
00:06:17,634 --> 00:06:19,169
Joanna, Elizabeth,
126
00:06:19,235 --> 00:06:20,870
how do you feel about being
127
00:06:20,937 --> 00:06:22,872
the only adults
in your families?
128
00:06:22,939 --> 00:06:26,910
The only ones
with actual jobs?
129
00:06:26,976 --> 00:06:28,411
Let's pack up.
130
00:06:28,478 --> 00:06:30,579
- JOANNA: Don't listen to him.
- TED: Ouch.
131
00:06:31,447 --> 00:06:33,348
I really appreciate you
doing this.
132
00:06:33,415 --> 00:06:34,783
I know it wasn't your choice.
133
00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:36,286
Of course, Jo.
134
00:06:36,353 --> 00:06:37,972
I really want this
to work for both of us.
135
00:06:37,987 --> 00:06:39,422
Yeah.
136
00:06:39,488 --> 00:06:41,057
Oh, hey.
137
00:06:41,124 --> 00:06:42,492
How's it goin', dude?
138
00:06:42,559 --> 00:06:43,594
Good, dude.
139
00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:44,847
- ELIZABETH: Hi!
- TED: Hey, Jo.
140
00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,129
Oh, no, no.
141
00:06:46,196 --> 00:06:47,797
I'm sorry,
is this the right day?
142
00:06:47,863 --> 00:06:49,599
(CHUCKLING) Yeah, totally.
143
00:06:49,665 --> 00:06:52,735
So, do you understand
why this situation
144
00:06:52,802 --> 00:06:56,173
might seem at all strange
to your wives?
145
00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,742
No. Not at all.
Why?
146
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:02,445
Well, when your wives
suggested couples therapy,
147
00:07:02,512 --> 00:07:05,482
do you think that this is
what they had in mind?
148
00:07:05,548 --> 00:07:06,782
Well, definitely.
149
00:07:06,850 --> 00:07:09,052
I mean, we're
a couple of couples, right?
150
00:07:09,119 --> 00:07:10,520
- That is true.
- Yeah.
151
00:07:10,586 --> 00:07:13,689
But usually,
with couples therapy,
152
00:07:13,755 --> 00:07:14,957
it just means one couple.
153
00:07:15,024 --> 00:07:16,125
That makes sense.
154
00:07:16,192 --> 00:07:17,627
Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
155
00:07:17,694 --> 00:07:19,247
DR. WOOD: Well, but, you know,
we're here,
156
00:07:19,262 --> 00:07:20,697
so let's work with that.
157
00:07:20,764 --> 00:07:21,898
- Yes?
- BILL: Yeah.
158
00:07:21,964 --> 00:07:23,532
Okay, great.
159
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:24,600
Um...
160
00:07:24,668 --> 00:07:26,903
Ted, is there something
you feel
161
00:07:26,970 --> 00:07:28,805
your wife needs to hear
from you?
162
00:07:28,872 --> 00:07:31,074
Yeah. Totally.
163
00:07:32,742 --> 00:07:34,811
We love you guys.
164
00:07:34,877 --> 00:07:37,546
Ah, that is good, dude.
165
00:07:38,081 --> 00:07:39,415
DR. WOOD: In a way, yes.
166
00:07:39,482 --> 00:07:42,119
I mean,
it is great to feel loved.
167
00:07:42,185 --> 00:07:44,454
But do you understand
168
00:07:44,521 --> 00:07:47,390
how that might sound strange
to your wives?
169
00:07:47,456 --> 00:07:49,293
I'll shoot this at Bill.
170
00:07:50,026 --> 00:07:51,026
No.
171
00:07:51,093 --> 00:07:52,295
I mean, we love 'em.
172
00:07:52,362 --> 00:07:54,164
DR. WOOD:
Oh. "We love them."
173
00:07:54,230 --> 00:07:55,932
- Yeah.
- Yeah. We do.
174
00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:58,300
Okay. It's the "we" part.
175
00:07:58,367 --> 00:08:01,404
Um... Ted, can you say
the same thing,
176
00:08:01,471 --> 00:08:05,274
but instead of "we,"
say "I" in the sentence.
177
00:08:05,341 --> 00:08:07,877
- Oh. Yeah.
- DR. WOOD: Okay.
178
00:08:07,944 --> 00:08:09,446
Of course. (CHUCKLES)
179
00:08:09,512 --> 00:08:10,447
Okay.
180
00:08:10,512 --> 00:08:11,981
- Elizabeth?
- ELIZABETH: Yes.
181
00:08:12,048 --> 00:08:15,185
I and Bill love you
and Joanna.
182
00:08:15,252 --> 00:08:16,552
ELIZABETH: Okay.
183
00:08:16,619 --> 00:08:18,222
(WHISPERS) Dude,
with all due respect,
184
00:08:18,288 --> 00:08:19,574
I don't think
you're quite getting this.
185
00:08:19,589 --> 00:08:20,923
(WHISPERS) Go for it, dude.
186
00:08:20,990 --> 00:08:21,990
Okay.
187
00:08:22,057 --> 00:08:23,259
I'm gonna do one.
188
00:08:23,326 --> 00:08:25,195
Yes, go for it, dude.
189
00:08:25,261 --> 00:08:26,897
- Great.
- Okay.
190
00:08:26,963 --> 00:08:28,298
(CLEARS THROAT)
191
00:08:28,365 --> 00:08:30,400
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
192
00:08:30,466 --> 00:08:32,101
- Joanna?
- Mmm-hmm?
193
00:08:32,168 --> 00:08:35,038
From the very,
very bottom of I
194
00:08:35,105 --> 00:08:37,440
and Ted's hearts,
195
00:08:37,506 --> 00:08:43,211
I and Ted
totally love and worship you
196
00:08:43,278 --> 00:08:44,914
and Elizabeth.
197
00:08:46,716 --> 00:08:47,783
Perfect, dude.
198
00:08:47,850 --> 00:08:49,753
Ah, awesome, dude, thanks.
199
00:08:50,854 --> 00:08:56,360
Joanna, would you or Elizabeth
like to respond to that?
200
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:58,861
Oh, well...
201
00:08:58,928 --> 00:09:00,196
Would you...
202
00:09:00,263 --> 00:09:04,066
Well, it has been tough
for us.
203
00:09:04,133 --> 00:09:05,536
At home.
204
00:09:05,601 --> 00:09:07,803
You know, it's been so hard
watching you
205
00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:11,674
beat your heads
against the wall for 25 years
206
00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:13,744
and I'm not sure
how much longer
207
00:09:13,809 --> 00:09:16,212
we can keep going on
like this.
208
00:09:16,279 --> 00:09:18,514
What?
209
00:09:22,052 --> 00:09:23,653
DR. WOOD: Well...
210
00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:26,188
Bill, Ted,
211
00:09:26,255 --> 00:09:28,190
I'd love to spend
the last part
212
00:09:28,256 --> 00:09:31,227
of this session
with your wives.
213
00:09:31,894 --> 00:09:33,295
Alone?
214
00:09:33,363 --> 00:09:35,832
Yes, alone.
215
00:09:35,899 --> 00:09:37,234
(WHISPERS) Right. Okay.
216
00:09:37,301 --> 00:09:40,570
JOANNA: We'll see you
at home, okay?
217
00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:43,639
ELIZABETH:
Okay. All right, then.
218
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:45,875
Oh, yeah.
219
00:09:45,942 --> 00:09:46,942
Yeah.
220
00:09:47,009 --> 00:09:48,477
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
221
00:09:49,578 --> 00:09:51,847
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
222
00:09:51,914 --> 00:09:54,583
TED: Dude, did you know
they felt that way?
223
00:09:54,650 --> 00:09:56,785
BILL: We have to fix this.
224
00:09:57,620 --> 00:10:00,155
The thing is,
they're right, Bill.
225
00:10:00,222 --> 00:10:01,625
They're princesses.
226
00:10:01,692 --> 00:10:03,058
Yeah.
227
00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:04,812
We pulled them out of their
lives to be here with us.
228
00:10:04,827 --> 00:10:07,663
And they didn't come
all this way for this.
229
00:10:07,730 --> 00:10:10,267
That's why we gotta
keep working, dude.
230
00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:12,101
But isn't that the problem?
231
00:10:12,168 --> 00:10:13,235
Yeah.
232
00:10:13,302 --> 00:10:15,203
But it's also the solution.
233
00:10:15,270 --> 00:10:17,306
Yeah. I guess.
234
00:10:17,374 --> 00:10:19,542
- (MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
- (THEA SCATTING)
235
00:10:19,609 --> 00:10:21,110
Dude, this is transcendent.
236
00:10:21,177 --> 00:10:22,479
Is this Fillmore '66?
237
00:10:22,544 --> 00:10:23,947
No, Monterey Pop, '67.
238
00:10:24,013 --> 00:10:26,016
That second sound check
where they did that riff
239
00:10:26,081 --> 00:10:27,350
on Amazing Grace.
240
00:10:27,417 --> 00:10:29,085
BOTH: How's it goin', Dads?
241
00:10:29,152 --> 00:10:30,419
BOTH: How's it goin', girls?
242
00:10:30,485 --> 00:10:31,787
BILLIE: How was therapy?
243
00:10:31,854 --> 00:10:33,456
- (MUSIC STOPS)
- It went okay. Yeah.
244
00:10:33,523 --> 00:10:35,759
Hey, Dad, by the way,
Gramps was wrong.
245
00:10:35,825 --> 00:10:38,194
The wedding song
was most luminous.
246
00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:40,129
Oh, thank you, B.
247
00:10:40,196 --> 00:10:41,431
Glad you dug it, Billie.
248
00:10:41,496 --> 00:10:42,931
THEA: No, seriously,
Uncle Ted,
249
00:10:42,999 --> 00:10:44,668
when did you get so excellent
on theremin?
250
00:10:44,735 --> 00:10:47,137
Your playing rivaled,
and I'm not kidding,
251
00:10:47,202 --> 00:10:48,471
Clara Rockmore.
252
00:10:48,538 --> 00:10:50,005
Aw, thanks, T.
253
00:10:50,072 --> 00:10:52,775
Clara Rockmore
was definitely an inspiration.
254
00:10:52,842 --> 00:10:53,842
Yeah.
255
00:10:53,876 --> 00:10:55,144
- And, Uncle Bill!
- BILL: Yeah.
256
00:10:55,211 --> 00:10:56,511
The throat singing, I mean,
257
00:10:56,578 --> 00:10:59,014
it was a whole new level
of eloquence.
258
00:10:59,081 --> 00:11:01,216
Some serious buga khoomei.
259
00:11:01,283 --> 00:11:02,785
Whoa.
260
00:11:02,851 --> 00:11:05,721
Your musical acumen
is most impressive, girls.
261
00:11:08,691 --> 00:11:09,992
Hey, Dad,
good luck on the song.
262
00:11:10,058 --> 00:11:11,528
You got this.
263
00:11:23,539 --> 00:11:25,574
What is it, Ted?
264
00:11:26,442 --> 00:11:28,144
Liz is right.
265
00:11:28,211 --> 00:11:32,380
We have been banging our heads
against a wall for 25 years.
266
00:11:32,447 --> 00:11:34,917
And I'm tired, dude.
267
00:11:34,984 --> 00:11:36,418
Ted.
268
00:11:36,485 --> 00:11:38,855
We have a destiny to fulfill.
269
00:11:38,921 --> 00:11:40,123
TED: Yeah.
270
00:11:40,190 --> 00:11:43,025
And think
about our fans, dude.
271
00:11:43,926 --> 00:11:46,797
Bob and Wendy
will totally understand.
272
00:11:46,863 --> 00:11:50,734
Eileen we haven't heard from
for several years.
273
00:11:51,466 --> 00:11:53,870
(SIGHS) Bill?
274
00:11:53,937 --> 00:11:55,471
What?
275
00:11:56,806 --> 00:12:00,744
I went into
Cyrus Adler Music yesterday.
276
00:12:00,811 --> 00:12:04,681
He said he'd give me $6,400
for the Les Paul.
277
00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:09,785
Are you saying...
278
00:12:12,188 --> 00:12:13,889
Yeah.
279
00:12:15,091 --> 00:12:16,826
I think I am.
280
00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:21,731
Yeah.
281
00:12:24,033 --> 00:12:25,668
BOTH: Yeah.
282
00:12:29,538 --> 00:12:31,508
BOTH: Whoa!
283
00:12:32,908 --> 00:12:34,577
Dude! Dude!
284
00:12:35,044 --> 00:12:36,578
It's the future!
285
00:12:36,645 --> 00:12:40,015
Greetings,
my excellent friends.
286
00:12:40,081 --> 00:12:41,951
Do we know you?
287
00:12:43,019 --> 00:12:44,320
I'm Kelly.
288
00:12:44,386 --> 00:12:46,989
Wait, you're Rufus' daughter!
289
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:48,457
I am.
290
00:12:48,524 --> 00:12:50,404
And I've been wanting to
meet you my whole life.
291
00:12:50,426 --> 00:12:52,427
It must be very disappointing.
292
00:12:52,495 --> 00:12:54,297
Not at all.
293
00:12:54,364 --> 00:12:56,066
We have a problem, gentlemen.
294
00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:59,002
Potentially,
a very serious problem.
295
00:12:59,068 --> 00:13:00,469
About the music?
296
00:13:00,535 --> 00:13:03,438
About the music.
They just wanna talk to you.
297
00:13:03,505 --> 00:13:05,507
Mmm-hmm.
298
00:13:05,575 --> 00:13:08,311
Dude, I got a very bad feeling
about this.
299
00:13:08,378 --> 00:13:09,846
It'll be fine, Ted.
300
00:13:09,912 --> 00:13:12,883
They totally love us
in the future, dude.
301
00:13:20,289 --> 00:13:21,656
BOTH: Whoa!
302
00:13:21,724 --> 00:13:24,326
Dude, our dads
are totally in trouble.
303
00:13:24,393 --> 00:13:25,729
I feel so bad for 'em.
304
00:13:25,796 --> 00:13:27,148
They've been doing this
on their own
305
00:13:27,163 --> 00:13:28,398
for the longest time.
306
00:13:28,464 --> 00:13:29,665
Yeah, I wish
there was some way
307
00:13:29,731 --> 00:13:30,632
we could help 'em out,
you know?
308
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:33,970
Yeah. But how?
309
00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:41,812
BOTH: Whoa!
310
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:09,572
- Dude.
- Yeah?
311
00:14:09,639 --> 00:14:10,940
The future.
312
00:14:11,006 --> 00:14:12,475
Yeah.
313
00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,752
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
314
00:14:25,587 --> 00:14:27,089
BOTH: Rufus.
315
00:14:28,291 --> 00:14:31,260
(OVER SPEAKERS) Greetings,
my excellent friends.
316
00:14:31,326 --> 00:14:33,380
What you're looking at
is the original phone booth...
317
00:14:33,395 --> 00:14:35,030
Gentlemen?
318
00:14:35,097 --> 00:14:37,266
...that I used on my first
visit to the Great Ones
319
00:14:37,332 --> 00:14:39,534
way back in 1989.
320
00:14:39,601 --> 00:14:41,203
The prophecy tells us...
321
00:14:51,081 --> 00:14:53,115
THE GREAT LEADER: (ECHOING)
Bill and Ted.
322
00:14:55,485 --> 00:14:57,220
Step forward.
323
00:15:04,394 --> 00:15:06,028
How's it goin'...
324
00:15:06,096 --> 00:15:07,363
Great Ones?
325
00:15:07,429 --> 00:15:08,798
It's, uh...
326
00:15:08,864 --> 00:15:11,100
It's good to be back.
327
00:15:11,167 --> 00:15:13,970
What have you got to say
for yourselves?
328
00:15:17,974 --> 00:15:19,442
Be...
329
00:15:19,509 --> 00:15:21,576
excellent to each other.
330
00:15:21,644 --> 00:15:23,379
And party on, dudes.
331
00:15:23,446 --> 00:15:25,048
Yeah.
332
00:15:25,681 --> 00:15:27,850
Twenty-five years ago,
333
00:15:27,917 --> 00:15:30,586
Wyld Stallyns played a concert
334
00:15:30,653 --> 00:15:32,388
at the Grand Canyon.
335
00:15:32,455 --> 00:15:34,456
That's true.
336
00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:36,525
One month ago,
337
00:15:36,591 --> 00:15:38,126
you played the Elks Lodge
338
00:15:38,193 --> 00:15:40,329
in Barstow, California,
for 40 people,
339
00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:43,899
most of whom were there only
because it was $2 taco night,
340
00:15:43,966 --> 00:15:45,600
whatever the hell that means.
341
00:15:45,668 --> 00:15:48,871
- Well, yeah. We did!
- Yeah. We did!
342
00:15:50,806 --> 00:15:55,045
You were supposed to
unite the world in song.
343
00:16:00,383 --> 00:16:02,084
According to her father,
344
00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:05,587
a song
created by Preston/Logan...
345
00:16:05,654 --> 00:16:07,089
(WHISPERS) That's us, dude.
346
00:16:07,157 --> 00:16:11,259
...at a concert performed
by everyone in the band
347
00:16:11,326 --> 00:16:13,495
at 7:17 p.m.
348
00:16:13,562 --> 00:16:15,664
at MP 46,
349
00:16:15,730 --> 00:16:17,866
that's tonight,
350
00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:20,536
will save reality
as we know it,
351
00:16:20,602 --> 00:16:24,940
uniting humanity
across all time.
352
00:16:25,508 --> 00:16:26,743
Wait...
353
00:16:26,808 --> 00:16:28,677
I'm sorry.
354
00:16:28,745 --> 00:16:30,312
What?
355
00:16:30,379 --> 00:16:32,480
Did you say,
356
00:16:32,548 --> 00:16:35,750
"Reality as we know it"?
357
00:16:35,817 --> 00:16:37,886
ALL: (ECHOES) Yes!
358
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:45,894
BOTH: Oh.
359
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:52,168
BOTH: Whoa.
360
00:16:53,369 --> 00:16:55,971
THE GREAT LEADER:
We need to hear the song
361
00:16:56,038 --> 00:17:00,109
in 77 minutes and 25 seconds.
362
00:17:00,176 --> 00:17:03,379
You have
everything you require.
363
00:17:03,446 --> 00:17:05,781
Get to work.
364
00:17:06,648 --> 00:17:09,417
Dude, they totally hate us.
365
00:17:09,484 --> 00:17:12,587
(SIGHS) And I've never even
heard of MP 46.
366
00:17:12,654 --> 00:17:14,257
Yeah.
367
00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:15,825
Kelly!
368
00:17:16,526 --> 00:17:19,062
How does a song save reality?
369
00:17:19,128 --> 00:17:21,996
That I can't tell you,
but it has to.
370
00:17:22,064 --> 00:17:23,932
Somehow.
371
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,301
The Great Turntable
is tipping.
372
00:17:26,368 --> 00:17:29,504
That there is the center
of space and time.
373
00:17:29,571 --> 00:17:33,308
San Dimas 700 years ago,
7:17 p.m.
374
00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:35,610
My father believed
that the song
375
00:17:35,678 --> 00:17:37,580
could be the nexus point
that brings
376
00:17:37,646 --> 00:17:39,347
humanity into rhythm
and harmony.
377
00:17:39,414 --> 00:17:41,017
How?
378
00:17:41,083 --> 00:17:43,036
KELLY: We only discovered
this recently, but without it,
379
00:17:43,051 --> 00:17:44,753
reality will collapse,
380
00:17:44,820 --> 00:17:47,790
and time and space
will cease to exist.
381
00:17:48,891 --> 00:17:51,728
So until 7:17 p.m...
382
00:17:51,794 --> 00:17:53,461
Anything is possible.
383
00:17:53,528 --> 00:17:55,364
And after 7:17 p.m.?
384
00:17:55,431 --> 00:18:00,269
Without the song,
there is no after 7:17 p.m.
385
00:18:06,442 --> 00:18:09,411
This was my dad's.
He'd want you to have it.
386
00:18:09,478 --> 00:18:13,048
It'll help keep track
of the time in San Dimas.
387
00:18:16,152 --> 00:18:17,853
(TICKING)
388
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,923
TED: "Sometimes
things don't make sense..."
389
00:18:20,990 --> 00:18:24,794
"...until the end
of the story."
390
00:18:24,859 --> 00:18:27,296
That's what my dad
always said.
391
00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:30,233
I'll leave you to it?
392
00:18:40,576 --> 00:18:41,644
(BOTH EXHALE DEEPLY)
393
00:18:41,711 --> 00:18:43,312
Okay.
394
00:18:43,378 --> 00:18:44,847
Now alls we gotta do
395
00:18:44,913 --> 00:18:46,915
is write the greatest song
ever written.
396
00:18:46,982 --> 00:18:50,685
That brings the entire world
into rhythm and harmony.
397
00:18:50,752 --> 00:18:53,855
And saves reality
as we know it.
398
00:18:53,923 --> 00:18:55,825
All through...
399
00:18:56,392 --> 00:18:58,027
time.
400
00:19:01,131 --> 00:19:01,964
Dude.
401
00:19:02,030 --> 00:19:03,633
We've spent our whole life
402
00:19:03,699 --> 00:19:06,101
trying to write the song
that will unite the world.
403
00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:09,170
What makes us think we can
write it in, like, 75 minutes?
404
00:19:09,238 --> 00:19:11,039
Ted, we had to have written
that song.
405
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:13,442
The people in the future
told us we did.
406
00:19:13,509 --> 00:19:15,377
Yeah. I guess.
407
00:19:15,444 --> 00:19:18,513
Which means
we have it in us, dude.
408
00:19:18,580 --> 00:19:20,915
Maybe we just haven't
written it yet.
409
00:19:20,982 --> 00:19:22,417
Maybe we're still gonna.
410
00:19:22,484 --> 00:19:24,152
Well, if we haven't
written it yet,
411
00:19:24,220 --> 00:19:26,622
but we know
we're gonna at some point,
412
00:19:26,689 --> 00:19:28,824
why can't we just
go to the future
413
00:19:28,891 --> 00:19:30,993
when we have written it?
414
00:19:31,059 --> 00:19:33,229
And take it from ourselves!
415
00:19:33,296 --> 00:19:34,963
Yeah!
416
00:19:35,029 --> 00:19:36,898
Ted! You have had many
417
00:19:36,965 --> 00:19:39,067
counterintuitive ideas
over the years,
418
00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:40,537
but this is by far
419
00:19:40,603 --> 00:19:43,273
the counterintuitivest
of them all, dude!
420
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,876
Except, won't that be stealing?
421
00:19:49,478 --> 00:19:51,346
How is that stealing
422
00:19:51,413 --> 00:19:54,817
if we're stealing it
from ourselves, dude?
423
00:19:55,584 --> 00:19:57,821
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
424
00:20:00,256 --> 00:20:02,192
BILL: I hope it still works.
425
00:20:02,258 --> 00:20:03,593
TED: Yeah.
426
00:20:06,028 --> 00:20:08,463
How far into our future
do you think we gotta go?
427
00:20:08,530 --> 00:20:11,099
It depends on when we think
we wrote that song.
428
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:14,269
Let's be conservative.
Say, two years?
429
00:20:14,336 --> 00:20:15,538
Sounds good, Ted.
430
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:16,971
Then, once we get the song,
431
00:20:17,038 --> 00:20:19,142
we'll go back home
to right before we left.
432
00:20:20,976 --> 00:20:22,378
And then what?
433
00:20:22,443 --> 00:20:26,048
Unite the world
and save reality, dude.
434
00:20:27,249 --> 00:20:30,153
(MACHINE POWERING UP)
435
00:20:30,220 --> 00:20:32,288
- Bill, my friend.
- Yes, Ted, my friend?
436
00:20:32,355 --> 00:20:34,556
I have a feeling
things are about to change
437
00:20:34,623 --> 00:20:35,958
in a most outstanding way.
438
00:20:36,025 --> 00:20:38,194
I could not agree more.
439
00:20:40,529 --> 00:20:41,830
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
440
00:20:41,897 --> 00:20:43,398
(ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFF PLAYS)
441
00:20:47,903 --> 00:20:49,972
(BOTH GRUNTING)
442
00:20:54,777 --> 00:20:56,446
(BOTH SCREAMING)
443
00:21:00,682 --> 00:21:01,718
You okay, dude?
444
00:21:01,784 --> 00:21:03,286
Yeah. You?
445
00:21:03,353 --> 00:21:04,720
Yeah.
446
00:21:04,787 --> 00:21:06,706
Let's go say hello to
ourselves and get that song.
447
00:21:06,721 --> 00:21:08,691
It's a rusty bucket, dude.
448
00:21:08,758 --> 00:21:11,527
50-YEAR-OLD BILL AND TED:
(SINGING) To those who rock.
449
00:21:11,594 --> 00:21:12,894
Over here, dude.
450
00:21:12,961 --> 00:21:14,115
They say
we're talking the talk.
451
00:21:14,130 --> 00:21:15,564
But we're walking the walk.
452
00:21:15,631 --> 00:21:18,567
BILL: Wait. We're playing
Those Who Rock?
453
00:21:18,634 --> 00:21:19,734
Here?
454
00:21:19,801 --> 00:21:20,903
...rock, yeah!
455
00:21:20,970 --> 00:21:24,007
We are those who rock.
456
00:21:24,073 --> 00:21:25,107
Everybody!
457
00:21:25,173 --> 00:21:27,576
We are those who rock.
458
00:21:27,643 --> 00:21:28,677
Clap your hands now!
459
00:21:28,743 --> 00:21:31,780
We are those who rock.
460
00:21:31,846 --> 00:21:33,214
Yeah, rock!
461
00:21:33,281 --> 00:21:35,417
Oh, dude, that's us!
462
00:21:39,288 --> 00:21:40,890
Don't look
and they won't see us, dude!
463
00:21:40,957 --> 00:21:43,325
Bill, wait!
464
00:21:43,392 --> 00:21:46,128
50-YEAR-OLD BILL:
Go, go, go!
465
00:21:46,194 --> 00:21:48,931
- Almost at the van!
- Hey, us's, stop!
466
00:21:48,998 --> 00:21:51,100
(BOTH GROAN)
467
00:21:52,534 --> 00:21:54,136
Oh, hello!
468
00:21:54,202 --> 00:21:55,903
We totally forgot
you were coming.
469
00:21:55,971 --> 00:21:57,707
- Yeah.
- How great to see you.
470
00:21:57,773 --> 00:22:01,809
What are you talking about?
You totally ran away from us.
471
00:22:01,876 --> 00:22:04,446
Look, guys, we know exactly
what you're thinking.
472
00:22:04,512 --> 00:22:07,015
Why would we be playing
Open Mic Night at 6:15 p.m.
473
00:22:07,083 --> 00:22:10,886
when, in fact, we have become
such huge rock stars again.
474
00:22:10,952 --> 00:22:12,187
Yeah.
475
00:22:12,253 --> 00:22:13,373
50-YEAR-OLD TED:
Here's the answer.
476
00:22:13,388 --> 00:22:14,823
- Yeah.
- Us being here
477
00:22:14,890 --> 00:22:16,859
is humorously ironic.
478
00:22:16,925 --> 00:22:18,694
Do you believe us?
479
00:22:19,595 --> 00:22:20,596
No.
480
00:22:20,663 --> 00:22:21,931
Not at all.
481
00:22:21,998 --> 00:22:24,334
Well, I feel sorry
for you, then.
482
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,535
(SIGHS) Dude,
I think we came too early.
483
00:22:26,602 --> 00:22:29,839
These other us's
don't have the song.
484
00:22:29,905 --> 00:22:31,292
Why don't you go
write it yourselves
485
00:22:31,307 --> 00:22:34,543
instead of trying
to steal it from us?
486
00:22:34,609 --> 00:22:37,645
You're the one
who couldn't write it, Ted.
487
00:22:37,712 --> 00:22:39,314
(SCOFFS)
488
00:22:39,381 --> 00:22:44,019
Well, you're the one
who lost his wife, Ted.
489
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:45,788
BOTH: What?
490
00:22:45,855 --> 00:22:47,221
What are you talking about?
491
00:22:47,288 --> 00:22:50,326
(CHUCKLES)
Here's what happened, Bill.
492
00:22:50,392 --> 00:22:52,260
After you failed
couples therapy,
493
00:22:52,327 --> 00:22:55,230
Liz and Jo were visited by
other thems from the future
494
00:22:55,298 --> 00:22:56,632
who gave them a phone booth
495
00:22:56,699 --> 00:22:58,768
and sent them all
through time and space
496
00:22:58,834 --> 00:23:00,335
looking for just one life
497
00:23:00,402 --> 00:23:02,004
where they could be happy
with you!
498
00:23:02,069 --> 00:23:03,405
50-YEAR-OLD TED:
And guess what?
499
00:23:03,472 --> 00:23:05,440
BOTH: They didn't find one!
500
00:23:05,507 --> 00:23:07,476
And now we've been alone
for two years
501
00:23:07,542 --> 00:23:10,478
'cause you sent
our wives away.
502
00:23:10,546 --> 00:23:11,947
BOTH: No way.
503
00:23:12,013 --> 00:23:13,514
BOTH: Yes way!
504
00:23:13,582 --> 00:23:15,551
Our wives have been gone
for two years
505
00:23:15,617 --> 00:23:17,785
and you didn't do anything
about it?
506
00:23:17,853 --> 00:23:19,255
Oh, you did, all right.
507
00:23:19,321 --> 00:23:21,489
You went back
and you made it worse!
508
00:23:21,557 --> 00:23:23,224
50-YEAR-OLD TED:
And guess what else?
509
00:23:23,291 --> 00:23:25,493
Your daughters
won't even talk to you.
510
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:26,560
What?
511
00:23:26,596 --> 00:23:28,630
- You're a dick, Ted.
- (SCOFFS)
512
00:23:28,696 --> 00:23:31,399
- You want a piece of me, Ted?
- Ted, he's not worth it!
513
00:23:31,467 --> 00:23:34,003
Hey! He's not worth it, dude.
We gotta go.
514
00:23:34,068 --> 00:23:37,605
Yeah!
And save our marriages.
515
00:23:37,673 --> 00:23:39,342
Losers! Has-beens!
516
00:23:39,407 --> 00:23:41,195
- TED: Whatever!
- Stop fighting with yourself!
517
00:23:41,210 --> 00:23:42,644
Flashes in the pans!
518
00:23:42,711 --> 00:23:44,231
50-YEAR-OLD BILL:
Stop fighting with yourself!
519
00:23:44,246 --> 00:23:46,482
(GRUNTING)
520
00:23:47,883 --> 00:23:49,451
That did not go well.
521
00:23:49,518 --> 00:23:52,788
Yeah. And your you is
a very contentious dickweed.
522
00:23:52,855 --> 00:23:55,658
Bill, we gotta go back
and talk with Liz and Jo.
523
00:23:55,724 --> 00:23:57,292
On it, dude.
524
00:23:58,928 --> 00:24:01,330
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
525
00:24:04,365 --> 00:24:08,135
Please, Mother,
Dad said Preston/Logan
526
00:24:08,202 --> 00:24:10,306
and everyone in the band
will unite...
527
00:24:10,373 --> 00:24:13,042
I remember what he said.
Every word.
528
00:24:13,108 --> 00:24:14,710
Well, then,
give them a chance.
529
00:24:14,777 --> 00:24:16,112
I gave them a chance
530
00:24:16,179 --> 00:24:17,846
and everything they could
possibly need,
531
00:24:17,913 --> 00:24:19,682
but they bolted.
532
00:24:20,782 --> 00:24:22,317
Kelly,
533
00:24:22,384 --> 00:24:24,237
you know your father and I
agreed on everything,
534
00:24:24,252 --> 00:24:26,187
but there are
other interpretations
535
00:24:26,255 --> 00:24:28,157
of the information
he was acting on.
536
00:24:28,223 --> 00:24:29,758
I'm aware of that.
537
00:24:29,825 --> 00:24:32,394
Many on the council believe
that it is, in fact,
538
00:24:32,461 --> 00:24:34,229
the death of Bill and Ted
539
00:24:34,296 --> 00:24:36,765
that will bring the new epoch.
540
00:24:36,832 --> 00:24:39,935
Well, I disagree
with that completely!
541
00:24:40,001 --> 00:24:41,569
That's atrocious!
542
00:24:41,636 --> 00:24:44,438
Well, maybe someday
when you're the Great Leader,
543
00:24:44,506 --> 00:24:45,975
you can make the decisions
544
00:24:46,041 --> 00:24:48,209
that will affect
all time and space.
545
00:24:48,277 --> 00:24:50,979
You could just say "Leader."
546
00:24:51,046 --> 00:24:52,581
- So pretentious.
- Is it ready?
547
00:24:52,647 --> 00:24:55,750
LEAD SCIENTIST: Yes,
Great Leader. It should be.
548
00:24:55,817 --> 00:24:56,837
THE GREAT LEADER: "Should be"?
549
00:24:56,852 --> 00:24:58,053
LEAD SCIENTIST: Is.
550
00:24:58,119 --> 00:24:59,954
Madam.
551
00:25:00,020 --> 00:25:02,258
Do you know who I am?
552
00:25:03,192 --> 00:25:06,295
Yes, Great Leader.
553
00:25:11,866 --> 00:25:13,801
You know what to do.
554
00:25:13,868 --> 00:25:17,173
You must not fail.
555
00:25:17,573 --> 00:25:18,740
Must...
556
00:25:18,807 --> 00:25:20,041
not...
557
00:25:20,108 --> 00:25:21,711
fail.
558
00:25:22,912 --> 00:25:24,579
(ENGINE SURGING)
559
00:25:28,651 --> 00:25:31,452
I cannot believe you're gonna
kill Bill and Ted!
560
00:25:31,519 --> 00:25:33,221
Dad would be so mad at you.
561
00:25:33,288 --> 00:25:36,057
We're out of options, Kel.
562
00:25:36,125 --> 00:25:38,693
The unravelling
has already begun.
563
00:25:55,277 --> 00:25:56,845
Future dude! You're back?
564
00:25:56,912 --> 00:25:59,848
I'm looking for your fathers.
Have they been here?
565
00:26:00,816 --> 00:26:02,285
THEA: No.
566
00:26:03,451 --> 00:26:06,955
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
567
00:26:09,090 --> 00:26:10,391
BILLIE: Where are our dads?
568
00:26:10,459 --> 00:26:11,879
They're in a tribulation,
aren't they?
569
00:26:11,894 --> 00:26:13,362
They are.
570
00:26:13,429 --> 00:26:14,481
Listen, you didn't see
a scary-looking robot
571
00:26:14,496 --> 00:26:15,730
from the future, did you?
572
00:26:15,798 --> 00:26:17,098
Oh, what? No.
573
00:26:17,165 --> 00:26:19,300
My mom, who overreacts
about everything
574
00:26:19,366 --> 00:26:21,470
- just sent one.
- To get our dads?
575
00:26:21,537 --> 00:26:23,538
Don't worry.
I won't let that happen.
576
00:26:23,605 --> 00:26:26,409
Well, we're trying
to help 'em, too.
577
00:26:27,108 --> 00:26:28,343
Hey.
578
00:26:28,410 --> 00:26:31,214
Hey, this can go, like...
579
00:26:32,580 --> 00:26:35,384
like, anywhere, right?
Like, all throughout time?
580
00:26:35,451 --> 00:26:37,353
That's correct,
but I need to stay.
581
00:26:37,420 --> 00:26:39,354
My guess is that
my mom's emissary
582
00:26:39,421 --> 00:26:40,756
will be looking for them here.
583
00:26:40,823 --> 00:26:42,425
BILLIE: Well,
584
00:26:42,490 --> 00:26:43,811
Thea and I were gonna help
our dads with their music
585
00:26:43,826 --> 00:26:45,293
by putting together
samples for 'em.
586
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:46,727
Yeah, but now it appears
587
00:26:46,795 --> 00:26:48,563
we could put together
an actual band.
588
00:26:48,630 --> 00:26:49,917
BILLIE: I mean, it's just
them, and they're all alone!
589
00:26:49,932 --> 00:26:51,599
THEA: Hey, so, do you mind
590
00:26:51,666 --> 00:26:53,254
while you stay here and wait
for the scary-looking robot,
591
00:26:53,269 --> 00:26:54,789
you could show us
how to use the booth?
592
00:26:56,971 --> 00:26:58,240
(BILL AND TED GRUNT)
593
00:26:58,307 --> 00:26:59,941
Dude, we gotta remember.
594
00:27:00,008 --> 00:27:01,375
Make it better, not worse!
595
00:27:01,442 --> 00:27:03,711
TED: Yeah.
I hope they're still there.
596
00:27:03,778 --> 00:27:06,748
It's just that the job that
they've been given, it is...
597
00:27:06,815 --> 00:27:08,549
- Impossible.
- ...impossible.
598
00:27:08,616 --> 00:27:10,284
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Joanna!
599
00:27:10,352 --> 00:27:11,472
- Elizabeth!
- ELIZABETH: Hi!
600
00:27:11,519 --> 00:27:12,854
BOTH: We need to talk to you.
601
00:27:12,921 --> 00:27:14,288
Oh, and we're back.
602
00:27:14,355 --> 00:27:15,891
This is super important,
Dr. Wood.
603
00:27:15,958 --> 00:27:18,393
We just saw ourselves
two years in the future.
604
00:27:18,460 --> 00:27:19,812
Wait, you're
time-travelling again?
605
00:27:19,827 --> 00:27:21,730
Only to save reality
as we know it.
606
00:27:21,797 --> 00:27:23,132
Okay. Maybe...
607
00:27:23,199 --> 00:27:24,751
BILL: But we just found out
something way worse.
608
00:27:24,766 --> 00:27:26,268
- You're leaving us.
- JOANNA: What?
609
00:27:26,335 --> 00:27:28,769
- What? No, we're not.
- No, are we?
610
00:27:28,836 --> 00:27:30,105
Yes. You are.
611
00:27:30,172 --> 00:27:32,641
Yeah. And you have real
good reason to, Jo.
612
00:27:32,708 --> 00:27:34,375
TED: 'Cause
we seriously appear
613
00:27:34,442 --> 00:27:35,845
to be living in our van.
614
00:27:35,911 --> 00:27:38,346
Oh, dude, we are totally
living in that van.
615
00:27:38,413 --> 00:27:40,015
And I'm drinking way too much.
616
00:27:40,082 --> 00:27:41,282
Darling, you don't even drink.
617
00:27:41,317 --> 00:27:42,550
- (SCOFFS)
- TED: Not yet.
618
00:27:42,617 --> 00:27:43,952
But I'm going to. A lot.
619
00:27:44,019 --> 00:27:45,788
- ELIZABETH: What?
- Yeah. And the lying.
620
00:27:45,855 --> 00:27:47,923
You cannot believe
what liars we are.
621
00:27:47,989 --> 00:27:50,925
Yeah, desperate, pathetic,
lying losers.
622
00:27:50,992 --> 00:27:52,560
Oh, no!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
623
00:27:52,627 --> 00:27:54,362
Okay, let's stop for a moment
624
00:27:54,430 --> 00:27:56,498
and take notice
of the dynamic.
625
00:27:56,565 --> 00:27:59,301
Uh, threatened by the thought
of losing your...
626
00:27:59,367 --> 00:28:00,402
Princesses.
627
00:28:00,469 --> 00:28:01,737
Sure. That's a word.
628
00:28:01,804 --> 00:28:03,438
No, we actually
are princesses.
629
00:28:03,505 --> 00:28:05,707
We were born in 1410.
1408.
630
00:28:05,773 --> 00:28:08,943
Okay.
What about us leaving you?
631
00:28:09,010 --> 00:28:10,112
BILL: Oh, man.
632
00:28:10,179 --> 00:28:12,214
That's totally why we're here.
633
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:13,515
Yeah. To prove that we're not
634
00:28:13,582 --> 00:28:14,984
the losers
we just saw we were.
635
00:28:15,049 --> 00:28:17,353
Even though those loser us's
tried to tell us
636
00:28:17,420 --> 00:28:18,921
not to come and talk to you.
637
00:28:18,987 --> 00:28:21,123
Yeah. Like we were somehow
gonna make it worse.
638
00:28:21,189 --> 00:28:22,658
(LAUGHING)
639
00:28:22,724 --> 00:28:25,727
But we're not
making it worse, right?
640
00:28:26,394 --> 00:28:27,662
Elizabeth?
641
00:28:27,729 --> 00:28:29,230
- Joanna?
- JOANNA: Hmm?
642
00:28:29,298 --> 00:28:30,865
TED: Dr. Wood?
643
00:28:30,932 --> 00:28:32,267
Huh?
644
00:28:32,334 --> 00:28:33,769
Dude,
we totally made it worse.
645
00:28:33,836 --> 00:28:36,505
- We'll be back.
- TED: And make it better.
646
00:28:36,571 --> 00:28:39,740
When you say 1408,
you mean the year...
647
00:28:39,807 --> 00:28:41,676
- Oh, one last thing.
- Yeah.
648
00:28:41,742 --> 00:28:44,012
Older yous from the future
are just about to show up
649
00:28:44,078 --> 00:28:45,246
to take you on a trip
650
00:28:45,314 --> 00:28:46,782
in search of a happy life
with us.
651
00:28:46,848 --> 00:28:49,416
Don't go. 'Cause you're not
gonna find one.
652
00:28:49,483 --> 00:28:50,523
Yeah, but you're gonna go.
653
00:28:50,585 --> 00:28:51,819
- So, don't go.
- So, go?
654
00:28:51,886 --> 00:28:54,121
No. I guess, go.
655
00:28:54,189 --> 00:28:55,624
BOTH: We love you guys.
656
00:28:55,691 --> 00:28:57,526
We're gonna fix it.
657
00:29:02,329 --> 00:29:03,698
That went terrible, dude.
658
00:29:03,766 --> 00:29:05,500
Two years forward
was clearly not enough.
659
00:29:05,567 --> 00:29:07,201
Let's try five this time.
660
00:29:07,268 --> 00:29:09,136
Dude, I miss Liz already.
661
00:29:09,203 --> 00:29:10,672
Hang in there, Ted.
662
00:29:10,739 --> 00:29:12,473
Things are about to get
a whole lot better.
663
00:29:12,539 --> 00:29:14,076
What time is it, dude?
664
00:29:14,142 --> 00:29:16,412
TED: Fifty-eight minutes.
665
00:29:16,478 --> 00:29:17,746
Okay, let's go.
666
00:29:17,813 --> 00:29:19,982
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
667
00:29:27,021 --> 00:29:28,423
(BOTH GASP)
668
00:29:32,161 --> 00:29:33,862
Actually, we have to go, too.
669
00:29:33,929 --> 00:29:37,399
Right. Those older us's
they referred to are outside.
670
00:29:37,465 --> 00:29:38,800
I'm a little bit nervous
671
00:29:38,867 --> 00:29:40,227
to time-travel again,
to be honest.
672
00:29:40,268 --> 00:29:41,286
As am I.
We haven't time-traveled
673
00:29:41,301 --> 00:29:42,770
in more than two decades.
674
00:29:42,837 --> 00:29:44,425
- JOANNA: No, I know.
- You know what, ladies?
675
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:45,524
I'd like to recommend
we see each other
676
00:29:45,539 --> 00:29:47,442
a minimum of two to three,
677
00:29:47,509 --> 00:29:49,010
five days a week.
678
00:29:49,076 --> 00:29:51,180
- All right, then.
- Lovely, lovely. Thank you.
679
00:29:51,247 --> 00:29:52,848
(ZAPPING)
680
00:30:00,255 --> 00:30:02,157
DR. WOOD: No. No.
681
00:30:02,223 --> 00:30:03,725
No!
682
00:30:04,159 --> 00:30:06,629
(WHIRRING)
683
00:30:13,335 --> 00:30:15,604
(BOTH GRUNTING, EXCLAIMING)
684
00:30:18,506 --> 00:30:19,574
It worked.
685
00:30:19,641 --> 00:30:21,744
Most indubitably.
686
00:30:23,578 --> 00:30:25,113
BILLIE: You sure this is it?
687
00:30:25,180 --> 00:30:27,016
(GUITAR PLAYING)
688
00:30:56,010 --> 00:30:58,012
Uh, excuse me,
Mr. Jimi Hendrix?
689
00:30:58,079 --> 00:31:01,449
Can I just say it is an honor
to be in your presence, dude?
690
00:31:01,516 --> 00:31:05,519
I mean, Electric Ladyland,
what can we even say?
691
00:31:05,586 --> 00:31:06,821
Who are you two?
692
00:31:06,888 --> 00:31:08,355
Oh. Um...
693
00:31:08,423 --> 00:31:10,959
Willamina "Billie" S. Logan,
and Thea "Theodora" Preston.
694
00:31:11,026 --> 00:31:14,363
Yeah. We're here for our dads
to help them unite the world.
695
00:31:14,430 --> 00:31:16,999
Like, no exaggeration,
literally unite the world.
696
00:31:17,066 --> 00:31:18,933
By putting together
a killer band for 'em,
697
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,702
and we had to start
with you, dude.
698
00:31:20,769 --> 00:31:22,436
So, question...
699
00:31:22,503 --> 00:31:26,273
how would you like to be a key
part of this epochal song?
700
00:31:26,340 --> 00:31:29,177
(CHUCKLES) No.
701
00:31:35,183 --> 00:31:37,251
Dude, we have to have
Jimi Hendrix.
702
00:31:37,318 --> 00:31:38,787
Yeah.
703
00:31:38,854 --> 00:31:40,855
But how are we gonna get him
to be in a band
704
00:31:40,923 --> 00:31:42,457
with people he hasn't
even heard of?
705
00:31:42,523 --> 00:31:44,392
Well, okay.
706
00:31:44,460 --> 00:31:47,296
Who's somebody
he has heard of?
707
00:31:48,564 --> 00:31:50,398
(WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN
PLAYING)
708
00:31:50,464 --> 00:31:52,166
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
709
00:32:15,390 --> 00:32:17,793
LOUIS ARMSTRONG: (SINGING)
Oh, when the saints.
710
00:32:17,859 --> 00:32:19,627
Go marching in.
711
00:32:19,694 --> 00:32:23,698
Oh, when the saints
go marching in.
712
00:32:23,765 --> 00:32:27,636
Well, I want to be
in that number.
713
00:32:27,702 --> 00:32:30,904
Oh, when the saints
go marching in.
714
00:32:30,971 --> 00:32:33,841
All right, all right,
all right. All right.
715
00:32:33,907 --> 00:32:37,744
(CLEARS THROAT)
Can I help you, young ladies?
716
00:32:37,811 --> 00:32:39,480
Uh, we're so sorry.
717
00:32:39,548 --> 00:32:43,852
Please excuse us,
Mr. Armstrong, sir.
718
00:32:44,353 --> 00:32:45,820
Uh...
719
00:32:45,886 --> 00:32:49,389
Might we have a word with you?
720
00:32:49,457 --> 00:32:51,760
(MUSIC PLAYING ON PHONE)
721
00:32:51,826 --> 00:32:54,395
THEA:
So, that is Amazing Grace
722
00:32:54,462 --> 00:32:56,798
played by a Mr. Jimi Hendrix.
723
00:32:56,865 --> 00:32:58,767
Who's in the band.
724
00:32:58,833 --> 00:33:00,552
And specifically requested
your presence, so...
725
00:33:00,567 --> 00:33:02,203
THEA: And here's why.
726
00:33:02,269 --> 00:33:03,869
Your improvisations,
obviously influenced
727
00:33:03,904 --> 00:33:05,240
by Bunk Johnson
and King Oliver...
728
00:33:05,307 --> 00:33:07,075
Yeah, but ultimately
sui generis.
729
00:33:07,142 --> 00:33:09,144
...totally inspired him, sir.
730
00:33:09,211 --> 00:33:10,812
You gotta come
see this, fellas.
731
00:33:10,878 --> 00:33:12,179
MAN: What you got there, Lou?
732
00:33:12,247 --> 00:33:13,727
BILLIE: You liberated
all music, dude.
733
00:33:13,781 --> 00:33:16,049
MAN:
Hey, what's that doohickey?
734
00:33:16,116 --> 00:33:17,786
(LAUGHS)
735
00:33:20,688 --> 00:33:22,357
(WHIRRING)
736
00:33:22,423 --> 00:33:24,259
(BILL AND TED GRUNT)
737
00:33:24,326 --> 00:33:25,827
BILL: Damn it!
738
00:33:29,230 --> 00:33:30,598
We did it!
739
00:33:30,665 --> 00:33:32,768
Dude, look at where we live!
740
00:33:32,834 --> 00:33:34,570
One song did all this?
741
00:33:34,636 --> 00:33:36,270
Ted, what if it wasn't
just one song?
742
00:33:36,336 --> 00:33:38,972
What if after we wrote it
and saved the universe,
743
00:33:39,039 --> 00:33:42,076
a dam broke and the songs
just kept comin' and comin'?
744
00:33:42,144 --> 00:33:43,010
Oh, yeah.
745
00:33:43,077 --> 00:33:45,279
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY)
746
00:33:51,019 --> 00:33:52,452
53-YEAR-OLD BILL: Hello!
747
00:33:52,519 --> 00:33:55,257
Younger us's, hello!
748
00:33:55,324 --> 00:33:56,591
- Hello!
- Hello!
749
00:33:56,657 --> 00:33:58,959
This time,
we were expecting you.
750
00:33:59,027 --> 00:34:01,962
Yes, and unlike those
sad Open Mic blokes
751
00:34:02,029 --> 00:34:03,365
from three years ago...
752
00:34:03,432 --> 00:34:04,999
We are now finally able
753
00:34:05,066 --> 00:34:07,536
to muster some compassion
for them.
754
00:34:07,602 --> 00:34:09,836
...we actually do have...
755
00:34:09,903 --> 00:34:11,739
BOTH: ...the goods.
756
00:34:13,608 --> 00:34:16,545
To your futures.
757
00:34:16,612 --> 00:34:19,181
- We did it, dude.
- Yeah!
758
00:34:19,248 --> 00:34:21,150
ALL: Cheers!
759
00:34:23,384 --> 00:34:25,019
(CHUCKLES)
760
00:34:25,085 --> 00:34:28,822
So, uh, why do you both have
English accents?
761
00:34:28,889 --> 00:34:32,460
Ah. Funny story. Please.
762
00:34:34,728 --> 00:34:37,164
Once Bill and I were knighted,
763
00:34:37,231 --> 00:34:40,168
things got so good
with Liz and Jo
764
00:34:40,235 --> 00:34:42,170
that we decided, as families,
765
00:34:42,237 --> 00:34:46,407
to start summering
in medieval England.
766
00:34:46,474 --> 00:34:50,144
And I suppose it just
bloody well rubbed off!
767
00:34:50,211 --> 00:34:51,413
(ALL LAUGH)
768
00:34:51,478 --> 00:34:54,648
And I can't say how chuffed
we are about it.
769
00:34:54,715 --> 00:34:58,186
BOTH: (SIGH)
That is such a relief!
770
00:35:01,322 --> 00:35:02,757
I must say,
771
00:35:02,824 --> 00:35:05,393
as much as I disliked
those previous us's,
772
00:35:05,460 --> 00:35:06,760
I like these us's.
773
00:35:06,827 --> 00:35:08,081
Yeah. I didn't have
a big problem
774
00:35:08,096 --> 00:35:09,463
with that other me,
775
00:35:09,530 --> 00:35:12,166
but I do like this other me
even more.
776
00:35:12,233 --> 00:35:13,501
Yeah.
777
00:35:14,936 --> 00:35:16,638
Enough talking, mates.
778
00:35:16,704 --> 00:35:18,005
Are you ready...
779
00:35:18,072 --> 00:35:20,041
...for everything...
780
00:35:22,643 --> 00:35:24,445
BOTH: ...to change?
781
00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:32,421
Whoa.
782
00:35:46,235 --> 00:35:48,469
That is truly...
783
00:35:48,536 --> 00:35:51,940
the most amazing song...
784
00:35:52,007 --> 00:35:54,809
I have ever heard.
785
00:35:55,510 --> 00:35:57,179
TED: It's great.
786
00:35:57,246 --> 00:35:59,814
Honestly, I wouldn't have
thought we had it in us.
787
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,083
Ah.
788
00:36:02,483 --> 00:36:04,018
But you do!
789
00:36:04,085 --> 00:36:06,221
And now it's time...
790
00:36:07,822 --> 00:36:10,424
to get it out to the world.
791
00:36:10,492 --> 00:36:11,760
(GUITAR RIFF PLAYS)
792
00:36:11,827 --> 00:36:13,162
Yeah!
793
00:36:17,798 --> 00:36:19,967
I'll never forget you,
Sir Bill.
794
00:36:20,034 --> 00:36:23,404
Right back at you,
Billie boyo. (CHUCKLES)
795
00:36:25,739 --> 00:36:27,875
So long, I guess.
796
00:36:27,943 --> 00:36:29,311
And thanks!
797
00:36:29,378 --> 00:36:30,510
Yeah.
798
00:36:30,577 --> 00:36:31,978
So long.
799
00:36:32,045 --> 00:36:34,115
53-YEAR-OLD BILL: Tallyho!
800
00:36:37,251 --> 00:36:38,786
Marvelous!
801
00:36:38,853 --> 00:36:41,073
BILL: Ted, why were you acting
so weird with yourself, dude?
802
00:36:41,088 --> 00:36:43,324
I don't know. I always seem
to act weird with myself.
803
00:36:43,391 --> 00:36:45,961
Yeah, you do!
You gotta get over that, dude.
804
00:36:46,027 --> 00:36:48,096
We got the song!
805
00:36:49,931 --> 00:36:51,733
BOTH: Dave Grohl!
806
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:54,635
Who are you guys?
807
00:36:54,702 --> 00:36:56,271
What're you doin' in my house?
808
00:36:56,338 --> 00:36:57,772
BOTH: Oh, no.
809
00:36:57,838 --> 00:37:00,041
No, no, no.
810
00:37:04,179 --> 00:37:06,548
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
811
00:37:10,284 --> 00:37:12,052
Now we'll wait
for those other us's
812
00:37:12,119 --> 00:37:14,088
to go back
and change everything.
813
00:37:14,155 --> 00:37:17,225
To our lives
getting a whole lot better.
814
00:37:17,291 --> 00:37:18,626
Yeah.
815
00:37:20,362 --> 00:37:24,365
Ted, seriously, slow down
on the vodka, dude.
816
00:37:26,335 --> 00:37:28,068
You guys totally lied to us!
817
00:37:28,135 --> 00:37:30,838
Why haven't you taken the song
back to San Dimas?
818
00:37:30,905 --> 00:37:33,242
Maybe 'cause it's not
our song!
819
00:37:33,307 --> 00:37:34,809
Poppycock!
820
00:37:34,876 --> 00:37:36,278
It's Dave Grohl's!
821
00:37:36,344 --> 00:37:39,481
And he's outside right now
calling the cops.
822
00:37:40,949 --> 00:37:42,184
(SIGHS) Ted, I told you
823
00:37:42,250 --> 00:37:43,652
Dave Grohl came back
this week.
824
00:37:43,717 --> 00:37:45,319
Totally thought
he came back next week.
825
00:37:45,387 --> 00:37:47,488
What were you guys
even thinking?
826
00:37:47,554 --> 00:37:49,856
Just 'cause you two couldn't
come up with a great song...
827
00:37:49,923 --> 00:37:51,391
And Dave Grohl did!
828
00:37:51,458 --> 00:37:53,527
...doesn't mean we should
be punished for that.
829
00:37:54,628 --> 00:37:56,264
We're not gonna do it.
830
00:37:56,331 --> 00:37:57,532
(CLATTERS)
831
00:37:57,599 --> 00:37:59,067
You have to!
832
00:37:59,134 --> 00:38:01,101
It's your only chance
to get our wives back.
833
00:38:01,168 --> 00:38:02,936
You were lying about that?
834
00:38:03,003 --> 00:38:04,905
Of course we were lying.
835
00:38:04,972 --> 00:38:06,541
Oh, man.
836
00:38:06,606 --> 00:38:08,406
Yeah, they don't want anything
to do with you!
837
00:38:08,443 --> 00:38:10,045
'Cause they traveled
all through time
838
00:38:10,112 --> 00:38:12,046
and finally realized
you are losers.
839
00:38:12,112 --> 00:38:15,016
Yeah, 'cause you make
bad choices!
840
00:38:15,083 --> 00:38:16,550
Like this!
841
00:38:17,552 --> 00:38:19,354
Now, take the song!
842
00:38:19,420 --> 00:38:20,888
Guys, seriously,
843
00:38:20,956 --> 00:38:23,024
you don't have to
pull guns on us.
844
00:38:23,090 --> 00:38:25,793
Yeah? Watch what happens
when we don't.
845
00:38:25,860 --> 00:38:27,594
(GUN CLICKS)
846
00:38:27,661 --> 00:38:29,129
See?
847
00:38:29,197 --> 00:38:31,965
I have to admit, Bill.
You were right.
848
00:38:32,032 --> 00:38:33,201
Ted!
849
00:38:33,268 --> 00:38:35,336
- You have to do it.
- Yeah!
850
00:38:35,402 --> 00:38:36,870
- Our life is hell!
- Yeah!
851
00:38:36,938 --> 00:38:37,957
And if you don't go back
and change it...
852
00:38:37,972 --> 00:38:39,273
Change it!
853
00:38:39,340 --> 00:38:41,742
(GROANS)
854
00:38:41,809 --> 00:38:44,512
(SIRENS BLARING)
855
00:38:48,750 --> 00:38:50,550
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
856
00:38:51,452 --> 00:38:55,290
This ends now.
The lies, the delusions.
857
00:38:55,356 --> 00:38:57,459
I'm done with him.
I'm done with both of them.
858
00:38:57,525 --> 00:38:59,059
You're not
gonna kill Ted, Dad.
859
00:38:59,126 --> 00:39:01,596
He broke into
Dave Grohl's house!
860
00:39:01,661 --> 00:39:02,963
Dad, slow down.
861
00:39:03,030 --> 00:39:04,599
We don't have
the whole story yet.
862
00:39:06,835 --> 00:39:09,838
BOTH: Can't get away from us,
Bill and Ted.
863
00:39:09,905 --> 00:39:11,306
Ted, they're right.
They're us.
864
00:39:11,371 --> 00:39:13,373
They remember
everything we're gonna do!
865
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,042
That means
we gotta do something
866
00:39:15,110 --> 00:39:17,445
we can't possibly remember.
867
00:39:18,413 --> 00:39:19,981
Shoot 'em.
868
00:39:20,047 --> 00:39:22,284
(GUNSHOTS)
869
00:39:22,351 --> 00:39:25,253
Oh, no.
They're gonna do the thing.
870
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:26,688
(SIGHS) I was hoping
871
00:39:26,755 --> 00:39:28,890
they wouldn't remember
that this time.
872
00:39:28,956 --> 00:39:30,924
(BOTH GROAN)
873
00:39:30,992 --> 00:39:33,362
No one leaves the building.
874
00:39:39,599 --> 00:39:42,069
(GRUNTING)
875
00:39:47,074 --> 00:39:48,275
BILL: Dude, what do we do?
876
00:39:48,342 --> 00:39:50,310
TED: No idea,
that's the point!
877
00:39:50,378 --> 00:39:51,612
BILL: I'm confused!
878
00:39:51,679 --> 00:39:53,181
TED: Me, too!
879
00:39:59,219 --> 00:40:00,855
Ted, that totally worked!
880
00:40:00,922 --> 00:40:03,625
Yeah. Maybe we should always
not know what we're doing.
881
00:40:03,692 --> 00:40:05,226
Time?
882
00:40:05,860 --> 00:40:07,428
TED: Forty-seven minutes.
883
00:40:07,494 --> 00:40:09,314
All right, we gotta keep going
further into the future.
884
00:40:09,329 --> 00:40:11,465
At some point,
we must've written that song.
885
00:40:11,532 --> 00:40:13,668
- Try in five years.
- Okay.
886
00:40:18,005 --> 00:40:19,673
Dude.
887
00:40:19,740 --> 00:40:20,907
What's that?
888
00:40:20,974 --> 00:40:22,677
BILL: I don't know.
889
00:40:22,744 --> 00:40:25,847
But it's most alarming.
890
00:40:25,913 --> 00:40:27,382
- Bill?
- I'm tryin', dude.
891
00:40:27,449 --> 00:40:29,617
- Bill?
- Almost there, dude.
892
00:40:29,684 --> 00:40:31,319
Bill!
893
00:40:31,686 --> 00:40:33,153
I got it!
894
00:40:33,221 --> 00:40:35,056
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
895
00:40:37,891 --> 00:40:40,728
- (SCREAMING)
- (SIREN BLARING)
896
00:40:54,342 --> 00:40:57,378
Come on! You again? I said no.
897
00:40:57,445 --> 00:40:59,713
To us. But I bet
you can't say no to this man.
898
00:40:59,780 --> 00:41:02,483
Mr. Jimi Hendrix,
meet Mr. Louis Armstrong.
899
00:41:02,550 --> 00:41:06,688
That lick you played
was the cat's meow, man.
900
00:41:06,755 --> 00:41:08,456
It's blues, but also...
901
00:41:08,523 --> 00:41:10,725
What's the word you used,
young ladies?
902
00:41:10,791 --> 00:41:13,527
- BOTH: Psychedelic.
- Psychedelic.
903
00:41:13,594 --> 00:41:15,429
Exactly.
904
00:41:15,496 --> 00:41:17,498
Very funny, whoever you are.
905
00:41:17,565 --> 00:41:20,934
Louis Armstrong's,
like, 65 years old.
906
00:41:21,001 --> 00:41:22,269
Dude, dude, I told you
907
00:41:22,336 --> 00:41:23,704
we should've gotten
older Louis.
908
00:41:23,771 --> 00:41:25,840
It was your idea, too!
909
00:41:25,907 --> 00:41:30,812
Well, the young ladies
picked me up in 1922, Jim.
910
00:41:30,878 --> 00:41:33,181
Which supports both that
we're putting together
911
00:41:33,248 --> 00:41:35,016
a most extraordinary band...
912
00:41:35,083 --> 00:41:36,751
Yeah. And that we are doing so
913
00:41:36,818 --> 00:41:38,787
by traveling
all throughout time.
914
00:41:38,853 --> 00:41:41,188
Come on, give me a break.
915
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:55,503
(CHUCKLES)
He dug that jive, hey?
916
00:41:55,570 --> 00:41:57,238
LOUIS ARMSTRONG:
Potato Head Blues?
917
00:41:57,304 --> 00:41:58,639
What kind of title is that?
918
00:41:58,706 --> 00:42:01,208
BILLIE: A definitive one,
Mr. Armstrong.
919
00:42:01,275 --> 00:42:02,894
LOUIS ARMSTRONG:
So, what you're all saying
920
00:42:02,909 --> 00:42:07,047
is that you love a song
that I wrote in my future?
921
00:42:07,114 --> 00:42:08,349
Which is in your past.
922
00:42:08,416 --> 00:42:11,286
But we're all here
in this present.
923
00:42:11,353 --> 00:42:15,188
Which is actually the past?
924
00:42:15,255 --> 00:42:16,857
Exactly, gentlemen.
925
00:42:16,923 --> 00:42:18,126
(EXCLAIMS)
926
00:42:18,193 --> 00:42:19,895
Fascinating.
927
00:42:20,994 --> 00:42:23,264
(PIANO PLAYING)
928
00:42:29,369 --> 00:42:32,873
Herr Mozart.
Now we're talkin'.
929
00:42:47,221 --> 00:42:49,657
(GUITAR SOLO PLAYING)
930
00:43:01,936 --> 00:43:03,838
(ALL MURMURING)
931
00:43:05,873 --> 00:43:07,841
(EXHALES)
932
00:43:13,347 --> 00:43:16,218
(CONTINUES PLAYING PIANO)
933
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,923
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
934
00:44:00,427 --> 00:44:02,496
(JIMI LAUGHS)
935
00:44:02,563 --> 00:44:05,467
(IN ENGLISH) Yeah!
Hey, Wolfie.
936
00:44:06,735 --> 00:44:08,269
Jimi.
937
00:44:10,637 --> 00:44:12,773
(BILL AND TED GRUNT)
938
00:44:13,940 --> 00:44:16,743
Dude, the future totally
sent a killer robot after us.
939
00:44:16,811 --> 00:44:19,748
That's why we gotta find
the song, dude.
940
00:44:23,284 --> 00:44:24,986
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
941
00:44:26,387 --> 00:44:27,889
58-YEAR-OLD BILL AND TED:
Hopeless,
942
00:44:27,954 --> 00:44:29,389
helpless dying breath.
943
00:44:29,456 --> 00:44:32,559
PRISONERS: Hopeless,
helpless dying breath.
944
00:44:32,626 --> 00:44:35,395
This can't possibly be
the song, dude.
945
00:44:35,463 --> 00:44:36,916
- 58-YEAR-OLD TED: Pain!
- PRISONERS: Pain!
946
00:44:36,931 --> 00:44:38,450
- 58-YEAR-OLD BILL: Death!
- PRISONERS: Death!
947
00:44:38,465 --> 00:44:41,168
58-YEAR-OLD BILL:
Welcome to...
948
00:44:41,235 --> 00:44:42,902
ALL: ...the end!
949
00:44:42,969 --> 00:44:45,438
(ALL YELLING)
950
00:44:45,505 --> 00:44:47,107
BOTH: No way!
951
00:44:47,175 --> 00:44:49,878
- Enough! Stop!
- Enough! Stop!
952
00:44:51,978 --> 00:44:53,313
Come forward.
953
00:44:53,380 --> 00:44:56,182
BOTH:
How's it goin', Bill and Ted?
954
00:44:56,250 --> 00:44:57,483
How'd you like our song?
955
00:44:57,550 --> 00:45:00,253
- Is that a song?
- Yes!
956
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:01,989
It's a little
on the dark side,
957
00:45:02,056 --> 00:45:04,692
but, you know, that's cool.
958
00:45:04,759 --> 00:45:06,126
Why are you guys in prison?
959
00:45:06,193 --> 00:45:08,396
Oh, maybe because
you guys left us
960
00:45:08,461 --> 00:45:10,563
to take the fall
five years ago.
961
00:45:10,630 --> 00:45:12,732
Ah. That's funny,
'cause for us
962
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:14,535
it's only, like,
five minutes ago.
963
00:45:14,601 --> 00:45:17,038
- 58-YEAR-OLD TED: Huh?
- So, we'll be leaving now.
964
00:45:17,105 --> 00:45:19,373
You're not goin' anywhere,
pretty boy.
965
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:20,693
58-YEAR-OLD BILL:
We've been waiting for years
966
00:45:20,708 --> 00:45:22,210
to make things right.
967
00:45:22,277 --> 00:45:23,878
But everything's
gonna be different.
968
00:45:23,945 --> 00:45:28,115
'Cause unlike those last us's,
we actually have a song.
969
00:45:28,181 --> 00:45:29,183
Is it a song?
970
00:45:29,250 --> 00:45:30,851
BOTH: Yes!
971
00:45:30,918 --> 00:45:34,521
Bill, Ted, seriously,
we can't take that song back.
972
00:45:34,588 --> 00:45:37,391
Oh, you're not taking it back,
Curly.
973
00:45:37,458 --> 00:45:38,826
We're taking it back!
974
00:45:38,891 --> 00:45:40,627
You're gonna stay here
and rot
975
00:45:40,695 --> 00:45:43,264
and we're gonna go get lives
and our wives back!
976
00:45:43,331 --> 00:45:44,398
And unite the world!
977
00:45:44,465 --> 00:45:45,666
And save reality!
978
00:45:45,733 --> 00:45:47,836
- BOTH: You are?
- BOTH: Yes!
979
00:45:49,036 --> 00:45:50,739
(WHIRRING)
980
00:45:52,606 --> 00:45:54,609
Freeze, Preston/Logan.
981
00:45:54,675 --> 00:45:56,644
You know what happens
if he kills them, dude.
982
00:45:56,710 --> 00:45:58,879
He kills us, dude.
983
00:46:01,014 --> 00:46:02,315
Hold on!
984
00:46:02,382 --> 00:46:04,451
You want some
Bill and Ted, punk?
985
00:46:06,253 --> 00:46:07,388
Get him!
986
00:46:07,454 --> 00:46:09,891
(PRISONERS SHOUTING)
987
00:46:12,559 --> 00:46:14,061
That was not a song.
988
00:46:14,128 --> 00:46:15,363
BOTH: Hmm?
989
00:46:15,429 --> 00:46:18,398
You're being a rotten idiot!
990
00:46:18,465 --> 00:46:19,800
TED: That was horrible, dude.
991
00:46:19,867 --> 00:46:21,369
Those are the worst
us's yet, dude!
992
00:46:21,436 --> 00:46:22,488
Yeah. They did
save us, though.
993
00:46:22,503 --> 00:46:23,503
Yeah.
994
00:46:23,570 --> 00:46:25,139
BOTH: Oh, no!
995
00:46:25,206 --> 00:46:26,807
- Jo!
- Liz!
996
00:46:26,875 --> 00:46:28,494
- ELIZABETH: Oh, hi!
- BOTH: How's it goin'?
997
00:46:28,509 --> 00:46:31,679
- Good.
- Oh, my God, is that you?
998
00:46:32,646 --> 00:46:34,332
- BILL: No, no, no!
- TED: We love you guys.
999
00:46:34,347 --> 00:46:35,901
- BILL: You've gotta go.
- TED: You should probably go.
1000
00:46:35,916 --> 00:46:37,552
- JOANNA: All right.
- ELIZABETH: Okay.
1001
00:46:37,619 --> 00:46:38,870
- We're gonna fix it!
- ELIZABETH: I got it.
1002
00:46:38,885 --> 00:46:40,125
Oh, good Lord.
Oh, good heavens.
1003
00:46:40,153 --> 00:46:41,422
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
1004
00:46:44,324 --> 00:46:45,492
Dude, what now?
1005
00:46:45,559 --> 00:46:46,927
The watch says
sometimes things
1006
00:46:46,994 --> 00:46:48,762
don't make sense
till the end of the story.
1007
00:46:48,829 --> 00:46:50,331
TED: So?
1008
00:46:50,398 --> 00:46:52,700
Maybe we gotta go all the way
to the end to find out, Ted.
1009
00:46:52,766 --> 00:46:56,403
- (PRISONERS SHOUTING)
- Most... non-triumphant.
1010
00:46:56,471 --> 00:46:57,905
Pull yourself together.
1011
00:46:57,972 --> 00:47:00,007
- You're a robot!
- (ROBOT GROANING)
1012
00:47:00,074 --> 00:47:02,543
THE GREAT LEADER: Get to where
they're going next and wait.
1013
00:47:03,510 --> 00:47:05,880
We are running out of time.
1014
00:47:08,282 --> 00:47:10,518
(PEACEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
1015
00:47:15,123 --> 00:47:17,724
BILLIE: The myth of Ling Lun
turns out to be true, T.
1016
00:47:17,791 --> 00:47:21,228
THEA: I know. And she's a she.
1017
00:47:21,295 --> 00:47:24,199
(ALL SPEAKING GERMAN)
1018
00:47:38,378 --> 00:47:39,914
(SPEAKS CHAOSHAN MIN)
1019
00:47:39,981 --> 00:47:41,983
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
1020
00:47:42,583 --> 00:47:44,251
LING LUN: Oh. (CHUCKLES)
1021
00:47:49,523 --> 00:47:51,324
(IN ENGLISH) Hey,
you wanna be in our band?
1022
00:47:51,391 --> 00:47:52,692
(LING LUN SPEAKS CHAOSHAN MIN)
1023
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:54,896
- (IN ENGLISH) Yeah.
- LING LUN: Oh.
1024
00:48:01,202 --> 00:48:02,703
(LAUGHS)
1025
00:48:02,769 --> 00:48:04,505
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
1026
00:48:04,572 --> 00:48:06,474
THEA: (IN ENGLISH) Grom.
You're gonna love her.
1027
00:48:06,539 --> 00:48:10,010
BILLIE: Ling Lun says she's the
greatest drummer of all time.
1028
00:48:13,380 --> 00:48:15,083
MOZART: What?
1029
00:48:27,228 --> 00:48:30,998
THEA: Hello. Excuse me. Hi.
Miss... Miss Grom...
1030
00:48:31,065 --> 00:48:33,001
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
1031
00:48:34,434 --> 00:48:35,874
- (SHEEP BLEATING)
- (MOZART SCREAMS)
1032
00:48:35,902 --> 00:48:38,939
Well, I'm trying to save
the world, too, Mother.
1033
00:48:39,007 --> 00:48:41,809
(SCOFFS) It's not like your
generation's done that great.
1034
00:48:41,876 --> 00:48:43,544
- (GASPS)
- (ALL SCREAMING)
1035
00:48:43,610 --> 00:48:46,246
It's getting worse and worse
here, if you were wondering.
1036
00:48:47,447 --> 00:48:49,216
Ah. Well, the Sahara Desert
1037
00:48:49,284 --> 00:48:52,019
just showed up
in San Dimas, Mother.
1038
00:48:52,085 --> 00:48:53,120
Queen Elizabeth
1039
00:48:53,186 --> 00:48:54,989
- is looking right at it.
- (GASPING)
1040
00:48:55,054 --> 00:48:58,925
(CHUCKLES) No. No, I'm not
gonna tell you where I am.
1041
00:48:58,992 --> 00:49:00,760
Because how do I know
you won't send
1042
00:49:00,827 --> 00:49:03,697
your killer robot
after me, Mom?
1043
00:49:07,101 --> 00:49:08,202
I gotta go, Mom.
1044
00:49:08,268 --> 00:49:10,070
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
1045
00:49:11,405 --> 00:49:14,474
(SIGHS) This is bad.
This is really happening.
1046
00:49:14,541 --> 00:49:16,177
What's happening?
1047
00:49:16,242 --> 00:49:17,244
(GRUNTING)
1048
00:49:17,311 --> 00:49:20,181
BOTH: Whoa! Kid Cudi!
1049
00:49:20,248 --> 00:49:22,081
THEA:
Hey, how's it goin', dude?
1050
00:49:22,148 --> 00:49:24,719
Can someone please tell me
what the hell is happening?
1051
00:49:24,786 --> 00:49:27,021
Basically, all time and space
are about to end
1052
00:49:27,088 --> 00:49:30,490
unless their dads come up
with a song by 7:17 p.m.
1053
00:49:30,556 --> 00:49:32,492
- Wait. What?
- Wait. What?
1054
00:49:32,559 --> 00:49:34,228
We thought this was
about the music.
1055
00:49:34,295 --> 00:49:37,030
It is. It's also about
the end of space and time.
1056
00:49:37,097 --> 00:49:39,565
Dude, this is way worse
than we thought.
1057
00:49:39,632 --> 00:49:43,270
So, this is some kind of error
in our holographic dual field?
1058
00:49:43,336 --> 00:49:44,572
Or is it a Wilsonian loop
1059
00:49:44,637 --> 00:49:46,239
causing a temporal
singularity?
1060
00:49:46,306 --> 00:49:47,675
Well, seems to me your
1061
00:49:47,742 --> 00:49:49,276
classical tautological
causal circuit.
1062
00:49:49,342 --> 00:49:51,422
I don't know. Seems like
textbook entanglement to me.
1063
00:49:51,478 --> 00:49:52,879
I must say, your understanding
1064
00:49:52,945 --> 00:49:54,815
of our dire circumstance
is most impressive.
1065
00:49:54,882 --> 00:49:57,003
You should put it to good use
and help us save reality!
1066
00:49:57,018 --> 00:49:58,418
Yeah!
1067
00:49:58,485 --> 00:50:00,006
That's great. 'Cause it is
the end of space and time.
1068
00:50:00,021 --> 00:50:01,355
Right.
1069
00:50:01,422 --> 00:50:03,925
Mr. Armstrong, Mr. Hendrix,
Herr Mozart,
1070
00:50:03,992 --> 00:50:06,727
Miss Grom, Miss Ling Lun,
and Mr. Cudi,
1071
00:50:06,793 --> 00:50:08,247
we're gonna take you
into our dads' studio
1072
00:50:08,262 --> 00:50:09,597
and start practicing.
1073
00:50:09,664 --> 00:50:11,065
So that when our dads
get back here
1074
00:50:11,130 --> 00:50:12,485
with the song
that will unite the world,
1075
00:50:12,500 --> 00:50:13,434
you guys can play it for 'em.
1076
00:50:13,501 --> 00:50:15,069
BOTH: Sound good?
1077
00:50:15,135 --> 00:50:17,871
THEA: Let's get practicing.
1078
00:50:19,005 --> 00:50:20,206
Oh.
1079
00:50:20,273 --> 00:50:21,909
BOTH: Bogus.
1080
00:50:27,782 --> 00:50:29,383
Oops.
1081
00:50:29,449 --> 00:50:31,852
I'm so sorry, Great Leader.
1082
00:50:32,452 --> 00:50:34,253
Oh, no.
1083
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,857
Oh... Oh, no.
1084
00:50:39,626 --> 00:50:40,862
Oh, no.
1085
00:50:40,927 --> 00:50:43,830
(ALL SCREAMING)
1086
00:50:46,333 --> 00:50:49,168
- (LING LUN SCREAMS)
- Are you okay?
1087
00:50:49,235 --> 00:50:50,503
I think so, dude.
1088
00:50:50,570 --> 00:50:52,371
Are you okay?
1089
00:50:52,438 --> 00:50:53,641
I think so, dude.
1090
00:50:53,708 --> 00:50:55,576
(GROM YELLS)
1091
00:50:55,643 --> 00:50:57,411
Dude, where are we?
1092
00:51:04,385 --> 00:51:05,920
Are you guys okay?
1093
00:51:05,987 --> 00:51:08,021
KELLY: My mother
just had me killed.
1094
00:51:08,088 --> 00:51:11,426
I didn't think she'd actually
do it, but she did.
1095
00:51:22,369 --> 00:51:27,207
Our sincerest apologies that
we're here, great musicians.
1096
00:51:27,273 --> 00:51:30,210
We just wanted
to help our dads.
1097
00:51:31,043 --> 00:51:35,148
Which we clearly
utterly failed at.
1098
00:51:36,449 --> 00:51:38,218
(CREATURES SCREECHING)
1099
00:51:43,090 --> 00:51:44,992
(BILL AND TED GRUNT)
1100
00:51:54,469 --> 00:51:55,769
Time?
1101
00:51:56,704 --> 00:51:58,806
6:48 p.m.
1102
00:52:06,414 --> 00:52:08,082
BOTH: Whoa.
1103
00:52:14,288 --> 00:52:15,757
Dude!
1104
00:52:17,224 --> 00:52:19,693
BILL: Are Jo and Liz here?
1105
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:21,796
Yes.
1106
00:52:24,998 --> 00:52:27,100
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
1107
00:52:27,735 --> 00:52:29,771
And no.
1108
00:52:32,505 --> 00:52:34,540
What did you mean
1109
00:52:34,608 --> 00:52:37,445
"yes and no"?
1110
00:52:37,510 --> 00:52:40,847
There are infinite pasts.
1111
00:52:40,914 --> 00:52:45,918
Each is entangled
with infinite futures.
1112
00:52:45,985 --> 00:52:47,653
So, what are you sayin'?
1113
00:52:47,721 --> 00:52:50,056
Where you end up...
1114
00:52:50,556 --> 00:52:52,292
all depends...
1115
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,461
on what happens...
1116
00:52:54,527 --> 00:52:56,163
with this.
1117
00:52:56,230 --> 00:52:57,530
Is that...
1118
00:52:57,597 --> 00:53:01,501
It's the answer to everything.
1119
00:53:03,637 --> 00:53:04,972
It's called...
1120
00:53:05,806 --> 00:53:08,909
BOTH: Face The Music.
1121
00:53:10,844 --> 00:53:13,514
- (CLICKS)
- (GUITARS PLAYING)
1122
00:53:15,248 --> 00:53:16,683
Dudes...
1123
00:53:16,750 --> 00:53:18,751
who is that on guitar?
1124
00:53:18,818 --> 00:53:21,322
It's you two.
1125
00:53:21,889 --> 00:53:23,757
It is us.
1126
00:53:23,824 --> 00:53:26,159
(CLICKS OFF MUSIC)
1127
00:53:29,496 --> 00:53:31,731
(CHUCKLES)
1128
00:53:31,797 --> 00:53:34,134
BOTH: Face The Music.
1129
00:53:36,003 --> 00:53:37,671
Preston/Logan!
1130
00:53:37,737 --> 00:53:42,309
Recorded at 7:17 p.m.
1131
00:53:42,376 --> 00:53:45,913
At MP 46.
1132
00:53:45,980 --> 00:53:49,248
It's in your hands now.
1133
00:53:49,750 --> 00:53:52,485
Go make it happen.
1134
00:53:52,552 --> 00:53:53,787
Thank you, wise old us's.
1135
00:53:53,853 --> 00:53:55,355
Yeah.
1136
00:54:04,331 --> 00:54:07,535
I just wanna say
thank you, Bill,
1137
00:54:07,601 --> 00:54:10,403
for all the times
you've been there for me.
1138
00:54:11,972 --> 00:54:15,642
I feel like I never really
knew you, Ted.
1139
00:54:15,708 --> 00:54:17,377
Oh.
1140
00:54:17,445 --> 00:54:20,046
That's my fault.
1141
00:54:20,112 --> 00:54:23,616
I never truly opened
myself up to you.
1142
00:54:23,682 --> 00:54:28,322
The truth is, I looked at you
and saw myself.
1143
00:54:29,121 --> 00:54:33,360
Yeah. I know. Me, too.
1144
00:54:33,427 --> 00:54:38,666
I'm sorry for the times
I let you down, Bill.
1145
00:54:38,731 --> 00:54:40,934
You never have, Bill.
1146
00:54:41,735 --> 00:54:44,070
You never have.
1147
00:54:49,076 --> 00:54:49,976
(SIGHS)
1148
00:54:50,043 --> 00:54:52,179
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
1149
00:54:53,547 --> 00:54:56,284
(IN ENGLISH)
I'll never forget you, Bill.
1150
00:54:56,650 --> 00:54:58,152
Ever.
1151
00:55:00,653 --> 00:55:03,123
Catch you later, Ted.
1152
00:55:09,463 --> 00:55:12,432
Catch you later, Bill and Ted.
1153
00:55:19,672 --> 00:55:21,407
They're nice boys.
1154
00:55:21,474 --> 00:55:23,110
Yeah.
1155
00:55:23,943 --> 00:55:26,612
Dude! We got the actual
real song!
1156
00:55:26,679 --> 00:55:28,214
Now alls we gotta do
is figure out
1157
00:55:28,282 --> 00:55:29,916
how to unite
the whole world with it.
1158
00:55:29,983 --> 00:55:31,285
And save reality.
1159
00:55:31,351 --> 00:55:32,652
Yeah.
1160
00:55:33,186 --> 00:55:34,655
- Dude!
- What?
1161
00:55:34,722 --> 00:55:36,957
The booth is gone.
1162
00:55:37,023 --> 00:55:38,391
BILL: What?
1163
00:55:38,458 --> 00:55:39,925
Where did it go?
1164
00:55:39,992 --> 00:55:43,297
I don't know. Let's go back
and ask those wise old us's.
1165
00:55:43,362 --> 00:55:45,598
Yeah. I hope
we're still alive.
1166
00:55:48,867 --> 00:55:50,436
Freeze, Preston/Logan.
1167
00:55:50,503 --> 00:55:52,605
Oh, this is exactly
what we don't need right now.
1168
00:55:52,672 --> 00:55:55,608
We can't. We gotta get back
to the present, like, now.
1169
00:55:55,675 --> 00:55:57,878
Yeah. Look, we know
you were sent here
1170
00:55:57,945 --> 00:55:59,446
to kill us if we didn't have
the song.
1171
00:55:59,512 --> 00:56:03,351
But we actually do have
the song now, so...
1172
00:56:03,951 --> 00:56:06,153
Wait. You have the song?
1173
00:56:08,221 --> 00:56:09,757
(SIGHING) Oh...
1174
00:56:10,623 --> 00:56:12,259
Uh...
1175
00:56:12,326 --> 00:56:14,661
Mistakes were made.
1176
00:56:15,795 --> 00:56:17,463
Apologies are given.
1177
00:56:17,530 --> 00:56:20,933
You're forgiven. No problem.
But we gotta go, robot dude.
1178
00:56:21,001 --> 00:56:24,271
Wait! No, must expiate guilt.
1179
00:56:24,338 --> 00:56:27,040
For what? We're fine, dude.
Let us go!
1180
00:56:27,106 --> 00:56:30,043
For... murdering family.
1181
00:56:30,110 --> 00:56:32,112
Wait. What?
1182
00:56:32,179 --> 00:56:34,648
What are you talking about?
1183
00:56:34,713 --> 00:56:38,018
I lasered your daughters.
1184
00:56:38,085 --> 00:56:39,219
You lasered them?
1185
00:56:39,286 --> 00:56:41,288
You lasered our daughters?
1186
00:56:41,353 --> 00:56:42,955
BOTH: Where are they?
1187
00:56:43,023 --> 00:56:44,791
Daughters are...
1188
00:56:45,458 --> 00:56:46,525
in Hell.
1189
00:56:46,592 --> 00:56:49,362
BOTH: You sent our daughters
to Hell?
1190
00:56:49,429 --> 00:56:52,032
(DISTORTED STUTTERING)
1191
00:56:52,099 --> 00:56:53,667
We have to go get them.
1192
00:56:54,601 --> 00:56:56,170
Shoot us.
1193
00:56:56,237 --> 00:56:59,706
I can't shoot you.
You have the song.
1194
00:57:00,974 --> 00:57:02,442
Well, guess what?
1195
00:57:02,509 --> 00:57:04,110
- (GASPS)
- BILL: Now there's no song.
1196
00:57:04,177 --> 00:57:06,679
TED: Now you got
no choice, Robot.
1197
00:57:06,746 --> 00:57:08,481
You gotta kill us!
1198
00:57:10,750 --> 00:57:12,686
(GUN POWERS UP)
1199
00:57:18,525 --> 00:57:20,795
- Can no longer take life.
- (GUN POWERS DOWN)
1200
00:57:21,161 --> 00:57:22,361
What?
1201
00:57:22,429 --> 00:57:24,631
Failure. Failure.
Failure. Failure.
1202
00:57:24,697 --> 00:57:27,734
Dude, we need this guy
to laser us
1203
00:57:27,802 --> 00:57:29,036
but he appears to be having
1204
00:57:29,101 --> 00:57:31,038
some kind of
nervous breakdown.
1205
00:57:31,105 --> 00:57:34,039
Shoot us, Robot!
1206
00:57:34,106 --> 00:57:35,442
(GRUNTS) I can't.
I'm a failure.
1207
00:57:35,509 --> 00:57:37,211
I don't even deserve to live,
you know?
1208
00:57:37,277 --> 00:57:38,311
BOTH: Shoot us!
1209
00:57:38,378 --> 00:57:40,146
Can't do it. Shoot myself.
1210
00:57:40,213 --> 00:57:41,648
- Wait, don't!
- You can't!
1211
00:57:41,715 --> 00:57:43,784
TED: We gotta go
save Billie and Thea.
1212
00:57:43,851 --> 00:57:45,719
- Let's do it!
- Yeah.
1213
00:57:45,786 --> 00:57:49,021
I'm so sorry!
Goodbye, cruel world!
1214
00:57:49,088 --> 00:57:50,724
(BOTH GASP)
1215
00:57:51,559 --> 00:57:53,327
(BOTH GRUNT)
1216
00:57:54,827 --> 00:57:55,963
It worked!
1217
00:57:56,030 --> 00:57:57,531
Yeah!
1218
00:58:01,867 --> 00:58:03,770
THE ROBOT: ...world!
1219
00:58:04,971 --> 00:58:06,206
That is unexpected.
1220
00:58:06,273 --> 00:58:08,876
Yeah. How can a robot
even die?
1221
00:58:08,942 --> 00:58:10,610
Let's find the girls.
1222
00:58:11,210 --> 00:58:13,746
Can I come with you?
1223
00:58:13,813 --> 00:58:15,316
(CREATURE SCREECHING)
1224
00:58:15,382 --> 00:58:16,883
He did kill us.
1225
00:58:16,949 --> 00:58:18,751
(SIGHS)
1226
00:58:18,818 --> 00:58:20,488
Come on, Robot!
1227
00:58:21,954 --> 00:58:23,891
Wait. I have a name.
1228
00:58:24,692 --> 00:58:26,559
It's Dennis.
1229
00:58:27,226 --> 00:58:28,862
Dennis McCoy.
1230
00:58:28,929 --> 00:58:31,164
Okay. Let's go, Dennis McCoy.
1231
00:58:31,231 --> 00:58:32,666
- Thea!
- Billie!
1232
00:58:32,733 --> 00:58:35,836
Dennis Caleb McCoy.
That's the full name.
1233
00:58:35,902 --> 00:58:38,271
Let's go, dude!
1234
00:58:38,338 --> 00:58:41,208
ROBOT:
I feel gratitude. Gratitude.
1235
00:58:41,275 --> 00:58:42,608
Okay, we get it.
1236
00:58:42,675 --> 00:58:44,277
You're a grateful,
totally insecure,
1237
00:58:44,344 --> 00:58:47,780
somehow dead robot
named Dennis Caleb McCoy.
1238
00:58:47,847 --> 00:58:50,217
- Thea!
- Billie!
1239
00:58:51,483 --> 00:58:53,252
How're we gonna
find them, dude?
1240
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:54,454
I don't know, dude.
1241
00:58:54,521 --> 00:58:57,224
Yeah, I don't even know, dude.
1242
00:58:59,291 --> 00:59:02,496
BOTH: Thea! Billie!
1243
00:59:05,532 --> 00:59:07,233
LEAD SCIENTIST: Great Leader?
1244
00:59:07,300 --> 00:59:10,171
Bill and Ted are dead.
Did it work?
1245
00:59:13,672 --> 00:59:15,107
No.
1246
00:59:15,175 --> 00:59:17,278
Nothing is working.
1247
00:59:19,579 --> 00:59:20,813
Oh...
1248
00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:23,384
They were very nice.
Very nice. Good group.
1249
00:59:23,449 --> 00:59:25,985
- BOTH: Group?
- Yeah. They went that way.
1250
00:59:26,052 --> 00:59:27,487
BOTH: Thanks, demons.
1251
00:59:27,554 --> 00:59:28,874
- DEMON 1: You betcha.
- Enjoy Hell, y'all.
1252
00:59:28,889 --> 00:59:30,108
- Thanks, demons.
- Have a good time, boys.
1253
00:59:30,123 --> 00:59:31,123
I know that's strange.
1254
00:59:31,157 --> 00:59:32,259
What is that, a robot?
1255
00:59:32,326 --> 00:59:34,461
Yeah, that's a robot in Hell.
1256
00:59:34,527 --> 00:59:36,262
- Thea?
- Billie?
1257
00:59:36,329 --> 00:59:38,731
- Thea?
- Billie!
1258
00:59:38,797 --> 00:59:40,266
KELLY: No!
1259
00:59:40,333 --> 00:59:42,368
- Apology not accepted, Mother.
- BOTH: Kelly?
1260
00:59:42,434 --> 00:59:45,940
Ah! Bill and Ted are here.
Did it work, Mom?
1261
00:59:46,673 --> 00:59:48,909
Yeah. That's what I thought.
1262
00:59:48,974 --> 00:59:49,976
BOTH: Where are they?
1263
00:59:50,043 --> 00:59:51,778
(SIGHS) They're that way.
1264
00:59:53,380 --> 00:59:54,948
I'm Dennis Caleb McCoy.
I am so...
1265
00:59:55,014 --> 00:59:57,616
No! No.
1266
00:59:57,684 --> 01:00:00,353
Oh, yeah. This is way worse
than the Christmas incident.
1267
01:00:00,420 --> 01:00:03,990
And you named him Dennis?
After my ex?
1268
01:00:04,056 --> 01:00:05,792
Get outta here!
1269
01:00:16,268 --> 01:00:18,638
- Thea! Billie!
- Billie! Thea!
1270
01:00:18,706 --> 01:00:20,274
BOTH: Dads!
1271
01:00:24,878 --> 01:00:26,013
BILLIE: Dads!
1272
01:00:27,981 --> 01:00:29,116
How're you doin'?
1273
01:00:29,182 --> 01:00:30,951
Well, you know, we're dead.
1274
01:00:31,018 --> 01:00:32,251
And we're in Hell.
1275
01:00:32,318 --> 01:00:33,853
But how're you doin'?
1276
01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:34,988
BOTH: We're good!
1277
01:00:35,054 --> 01:00:36,923
Yeah. Look who we found.
1278
01:00:37,623 --> 01:00:38,857
Dad?
1279
01:00:38,925 --> 01:00:40,193
Hi, Ted.
1280
01:00:40,260 --> 01:00:43,196
I was wrong.
I mean, you're here.
1281
01:00:43,262 --> 01:00:46,766
Which implies that you also
traveled through time
1282
01:00:46,833 --> 01:00:50,537
and that your wives actually
are princesses.
1283
01:00:50,603 --> 01:00:53,205
All of which proves
that it is imperative
1284
01:00:53,273 --> 01:00:54,875
that you write the song
1285
01:00:54,940 --> 01:00:57,476
that will
unite the entire world.
1286
01:00:57,543 --> 01:00:59,945
BOTH: And save reality.
1287
01:01:00,012 --> 01:01:01,213
Wait, is that new?
1288
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:02,983
BOTH: Yeah.
1289
01:01:03,050 --> 01:01:06,619
Well, then, I should help you
instead of criticizing you.
1290
01:01:06,686 --> 01:01:11,057
And I am very,
very, very sorry.
1291
01:01:11,125 --> 01:01:12,659
Thanks, Dad!
1292
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:15,128
Yeah, thanks, Chief Logan!
1293
01:01:15,195 --> 01:01:16,997
I wasn't talking to you, Bill.
1294
01:01:17,063 --> 01:01:19,031
Oh. Cool.
1295
01:01:19,099 --> 01:01:21,902
Well, Dads, this is the band
we put together for you.
1296
01:01:21,967 --> 01:01:24,770
This is Jimi Hendrix,
Louis Armstrong...
1297
01:01:24,838 --> 01:01:28,575
And Mozart,
and Ling Lun, and Grom.
1298
01:01:29,443 --> 01:01:31,278
JIMI HENDRIX:
A pleasure, gentlemen.
1299
01:01:31,344 --> 01:01:33,746
You raised
two fine young girls.
1300
01:01:33,813 --> 01:01:35,501
- BOTH: Thank you.
- BILLIE: And this is Kid Cudi
1301
01:01:35,516 --> 01:01:37,384
who's not technically
a historical figure.
1302
01:01:37,449 --> 01:01:39,519
- Kinda am now, I think.
- Yeah.
1303
01:01:39,585 --> 01:01:41,721
It's a great honor
to meet you all.
1304
01:01:41,789 --> 01:01:46,826
Yeah. Welcome to,
and sorry about, Hell.
1305
01:01:46,893 --> 01:01:47,894
My bad.
1306
01:01:47,960 --> 01:01:50,629
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
1307
01:01:50,697 --> 01:01:54,000
(IN ENGLISH) Oh.
That's Dennis Caleb McCoy.
1308
01:01:54,067 --> 01:01:57,070
We've met. He killed us.
1309
01:01:57,137 --> 01:01:59,005
ROBOT:
I'm really sorry
1310
01:01:59,072 --> 01:02:01,375
that I lasered you all.
1311
01:02:01,442 --> 01:02:03,208
And...
1312
01:02:03,275 --> 01:02:05,311
I just need to tell you...
1313
01:02:05,378 --> 01:02:10,049
My name is
Dennis Caleb McCoy, and...
1314
01:02:10,117 --> 01:02:12,119
TED: Thank you, Dennis.
1315
01:02:12,186 --> 01:02:14,221
Well, thanks for
coming to get us.
1316
01:02:14,288 --> 01:02:15,439
How're we gonna
get outta here?
1317
01:02:15,454 --> 01:02:16,923
We're gonna go talk to Death.
1318
01:02:16,989 --> 01:02:19,892
Oh. Well, isn't he still mad
at you guys?
1319
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:21,260
Oh, yeah.
1320
01:02:21,327 --> 01:02:23,061
- And we're still mad at him.
- Yeah.
1321
01:02:23,128 --> 01:02:24,563
Oh.
1322
01:02:24,630 --> 01:02:25,931
Nineteen minutes.
1323
01:02:25,998 --> 01:02:27,734
Everyone, follow us.
1324
01:02:31,471 --> 01:02:33,306
DEATH: Yes way!
1325
01:02:33,373 --> 01:02:34,373
(CHUCKLES)
1326
01:02:34,407 --> 01:02:37,943
Best 75 out of 81.
1327
01:02:38,010 --> 01:02:40,313
Is he playing Hopscotch
by himself?
1328
01:02:40,380 --> 01:02:41,581
DEATH: I have
bested you again.
1329
01:02:41,648 --> 01:02:44,117
BILL:
He looks miserable, dude.
1330
01:02:44,184 --> 01:02:46,119
DEATH: Yes! (LAUGHS)
1331
01:02:46,186 --> 01:02:47,420
Dude, he's cheating!
1332
01:02:47,487 --> 01:02:48,956
Yes!
1333
01:02:51,358 --> 01:02:52,993
- DEATH: Take a hike.
- Let's go, dude.
1334
01:02:53,059 --> 01:02:54,159
Good luck, Dads.
1335
01:02:54,226 --> 01:02:55,226
- Be sweet.
- TED: Okay.
1336
01:02:55,262 --> 01:02:56,764
BILL: Okay.
1337
01:03:01,034 --> 01:03:02,769
BOTH: Hey, Death.
1338
01:03:03,835 --> 01:03:06,973
Why, if it isn't
the Wyld Stallyns.
1339
01:03:08,307 --> 01:03:10,177
Have you come to sue me again?
1340
01:03:10,244 --> 01:03:12,045
TED: No, Death. Not at all.
1341
01:03:12,112 --> 01:03:14,715
No. We just need
to talk to you, Death.
1342
01:03:15,215 --> 01:03:17,584
Talk to the hand.
1343
01:03:18,918 --> 01:03:21,054
It will only take
a second, dude.
1344
01:03:21,121 --> 01:03:22,422
(DEATH VOCALIZING)
1345
01:03:22,489 --> 01:03:24,191
- TED: Death!
- BILL: Come on, dude.
1346
01:03:24,257 --> 01:03:26,460
(DEATH CONTINUES VOCALIZING)
1347
01:03:28,527 --> 01:03:29,628
DEATH: Who is it?
1348
01:03:29,695 --> 01:03:31,632
Bill and Ted!
1349
01:03:31,697 --> 01:03:35,467
What? Did your
restraining order run out?
1350
01:03:35,534 --> 01:03:37,503
Did the judge change his mind?
1351
01:03:37,570 --> 01:03:41,106
So, now I am allowed
to get close to you? Hmm?
1352
01:03:41,173 --> 01:03:42,208
Is this too close?
1353
01:03:42,275 --> 01:03:43,542
Death.
1354
01:03:43,610 --> 01:03:45,746
We didn't want to sue you,
dude.
1355
01:03:45,811 --> 01:03:48,882
- Remember, be sweet, dude.
- You're right.
1356
01:03:48,947 --> 01:03:52,684
You tried to take the name
Wyld Stallyns.
1357
01:03:52,751 --> 01:03:54,721
I was Wyld Stallyns.
1358
01:03:54,788 --> 01:03:56,255
What are you talking about?
1359
01:03:56,322 --> 01:03:58,990
You kicked me out
because you was jealous of me.
1360
01:03:59,057 --> 01:04:00,726
- No, no, no, dude.
- Yes, yes, yes.
1361
01:04:00,793 --> 01:04:02,695
You quit the band
to go out on your own!
1362
01:04:02,762 --> 01:04:04,264
You wouldn't let me play!
1363
01:04:04,331 --> 01:04:07,266
Dude, you were playing
40-minute bass solos.
1364
01:04:07,333 --> 01:04:08,701
No one but you could play!
1365
01:04:08,768 --> 01:04:11,304
I was in the groove!
1366
01:04:11,371 --> 01:04:13,773
- What?
- Those 40-minute solos,
1367
01:04:13,840 --> 01:04:17,009
that was the highlight
of your shows.
1368
01:04:17,077 --> 01:04:20,747
It's no wonder
you went down in the tubes.
1369
01:04:20,813 --> 01:04:22,148
(SCOFFS)
1370
01:04:24,650 --> 01:04:26,586
What're we gonna do?
1371
01:04:27,286 --> 01:04:28,788
Oh...
1372
01:04:28,855 --> 01:04:30,824
BILL: Death, the reason
we came here is 'cause
1373
01:04:30,891 --> 01:04:32,659
we have to play a song
at some place
1374
01:04:32,726 --> 01:04:33,793
called MP 46,
1375
01:04:33,860 --> 01:04:35,662
- like, right now.
- Hmm.
1376
01:04:35,728 --> 01:04:39,364
All of time is gonna fold
in on itself, dude.
1377
01:04:39,431 --> 01:04:42,001
I have been demoted down here
1378
01:04:42,068 --> 01:04:46,405
because I took two so-called
"friends" back up
1379
01:04:46,472 --> 01:04:48,641
who should not have gone
back up.
1380
01:04:48,708 --> 01:04:50,742
So, if that is why
you're here...
1381
01:04:50,809 --> 01:04:54,081
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Sorry, not sorry.
1382
01:04:54,947 --> 01:04:56,250
Bye!
1383
01:04:57,483 --> 01:04:59,653
- What now?
- I don't know, dude.
1384
01:04:59,719 --> 01:05:01,820
Dads, we have an idea.
1385
01:05:01,887 --> 01:05:03,556
You mind if we try?
1386
01:05:03,623 --> 01:05:05,110
I mean, the dude is the most
rad bass player, like, ever.
1387
01:05:05,125 --> 01:05:06,592
Yeah.
1388
01:05:08,161 --> 01:05:09,229
BOTH: Please.
1389
01:05:09,295 --> 01:05:11,030
- BILLIE: Okay.
- Come on.
1390
01:05:11,097 --> 01:05:13,300
- THEA: All right.
- He's kind of a dick.
1391
01:05:13,367 --> 01:05:15,068
THEA: Okay.
1392
01:05:18,204 --> 01:05:20,673
(STRUMMING GUITAR)
1393
01:05:23,775 --> 01:05:27,880
BOTH: Dads, we think
you should wait outside.
1394
01:05:27,947 --> 01:05:30,182
(CREATURE SCREECHING)
1395
01:05:44,998 --> 01:05:47,367
- Oh.
- Excuse us, Mr. Death, sir.
1396
01:05:47,434 --> 01:05:49,403
It's good to see you again,
Mr. Death, sir.
1397
01:05:49,469 --> 01:05:52,704
Well, if it isn't Little Bill
and Little Ted.
1398
01:05:52,771 --> 01:05:55,208
We're still your hugest fans.
1399
01:05:55,275 --> 01:05:56,610
Yeah.
1400
01:05:57,744 --> 01:05:59,612
Don't fudge with me.
1401
01:05:59,679 --> 01:06:00,919
We're not fudging
with you, sir.
1402
01:06:00,980 --> 01:06:02,581
- It's legit.
- Yeah.
1403
01:06:02,648 --> 01:06:03,817
- DEATH: Really?
- Yeah.
1404
01:06:03,884 --> 01:06:05,184
I mean, The Lonely Soul Surfer
1405
01:06:05,251 --> 01:06:08,188
was the most underrated album
in 1998.
1406
01:06:08,253 --> 01:06:09,855
The critics hated it.
1407
01:06:09,922 --> 01:06:11,157
Well, they just weren't ready
1408
01:06:11,224 --> 01:06:12,792
for an album
that was all bass.
1409
01:06:12,858 --> 01:06:15,929
"It was all over the place,"
they said.
1410
01:06:15,994 --> 01:06:20,365
"It was a raging,
confused mess," they said.
1411
01:06:20,432 --> 01:06:25,471
"It was even worse than
Pale on Pale," they said.
1412
01:06:25,538 --> 01:06:27,574
BOTH: Well...
1413
01:06:27,641 --> 01:06:30,876
(HESITATING)
It was, in parts.
1414
01:06:30,943 --> 01:06:32,579
But in other parts...
1415
01:06:32,646 --> 01:06:34,314
The outro
in I'll Never Be Loved
1416
01:06:34,380 --> 01:06:36,982
- is the most bodacious.
- (DEATH CHUCKLES)
1417
01:06:37,050 --> 01:06:38,618
I mean, the last three bars
1418
01:06:38,684 --> 01:06:41,188
before the chorus
in Too Pale to Cry...
1419
01:06:41,253 --> 01:06:43,089
Oh, well... (CHUCKLES)
1420
01:06:43,155 --> 01:06:47,960
What did you think of the hook
in Boogie Down With Doctor D?
1421
01:06:48,027 --> 01:06:49,961
What can we even say?
1422
01:06:50,028 --> 01:06:53,565
Insane. We've never seen
left-hand technique like that.
1423
01:06:53,632 --> 01:06:56,402
I know! I was self-taught.
1424
01:06:56,469 --> 01:07:00,173
You have some crazy,
crazy skills, dude!
1425
01:07:00,239 --> 01:07:02,708
Well... (CHUCKLES)
1426
01:07:02,775 --> 01:07:04,877
- You know what you need?
- Hmm?
1427
01:07:05,945 --> 01:07:08,514
You just need a band.
1428
01:07:08,581 --> 01:07:10,250
And the band needs you.
1429
01:07:12,251 --> 01:07:13,253
Oh.
1430
01:07:13,318 --> 01:07:15,188
- T?
- B.
1431
01:07:19,391 --> 01:07:20,860
Come on in.
1432
01:07:21,762 --> 01:07:23,329
Dads,
1433
01:07:23,396 --> 01:07:26,432
is there something you would
like to say to Death?
1434
01:07:26,498 --> 01:07:29,702
(EXHALES DEEPLY) Oh...
1435
01:07:34,206 --> 01:07:36,208
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
1436
01:07:41,114 --> 01:07:45,150
We're sorry for how things
went between us, Death.
1437
01:07:45,217 --> 01:07:46,518
Yeah.
1438
01:07:46,585 --> 01:07:48,387
Sincerely sorry.
1439
01:07:50,090 --> 01:07:55,295
I am sorry that fame
went to my head.
1440
01:07:56,563 --> 01:07:59,132
It's very intoxicating.
1441
01:08:00,032 --> 01:08:04,036
We really did love playing
with you, dude.
1442
01:08:04,938 --> 01:08:07,239
We really did rock, didn't we?
1443
01:08:07,306 --> 01:08:09,909
- We definitely did.
- (DEATH CHUCKLES)
1444
01:08:09,976 --> 01:08:12,412
And if it's not too late,
Death...
1445
01:08:12,478 --> 01:08:13,812
DEATH: Yeah?
1446
01:08:13,880 --> 01:08:17,583
Would you
consider rejoining...
1447
01:08:17,649 --> 01:08:20,753
BOTH: Wyld Stallyns?
1448
01:08:21,921 --> 01:08:24,191
Oh... I...
1449
01:08:31,631 --> 01:08:33,600
I suppose.
1450
01:08:33,667 --> 01:08:35,969
(SOBBING)
1451
01:08:37,802 --> 01:08:39,338
(LAUGHING)
1452
01:08:40,207 --> 01:08:42,142
(SNIFFLING)
1453
01:08:42,208 --> 01:08:44,376
(ELECTRIC GUITAR RIFF PLAYS)
1454
01:08:45,612 --> 01:08:47,980
(IMITATING GUITAR RIFF)
1455
01:08:49,649 --> 01:08:51,450
Okay, let's go!
1456
01:08:51,516 --> 01:08:53,818
Right. Right.
1457
01:08:53,886 --> 01:08:56,056
(BANGING ON DOOR)
1458
01:08:58,524 --> 01:09:01,094
It's Dennis. Hi.
1459
01:09:03,996 --> 01:09:05,663
- I got lost.
- TED: Get in, Dennis.
1460
01:09:05,730 --> 01:09:07,900
Okay.
Thank you, guys.
1461
01:09:07,966 --> 01:09:09,534
- Hey, Kid Cudi.
- Hey, Dennis.
1462
01:09:09,601 --> 01:09:11,089
- (MOZART SPEAKING GERMAN)
- Oh, hello. Hello, everyone.
1463
01:09:11,104 --> 01:09:13,506
Hey. Hey. Yeah, okay, friends.
1464
01:09:13,573 --> 01:09:15,742
Let's rock!
1465
01:09:15,809 --> 01:09:18,177
- (ROCK SONG PLAYING)
- (ALL SCREAMING)
1466
01:09:23,216 --> 01:09:26,719
It was cool
when you said, "Let's rock,"
1467
01:09:26,786 --> 01:09:29,454
because it made me
want to rock.
1468
01:09:29,521 --> 01:09:31,056
Uh-huh.
1469
01:09:31,123 --> 01:09:33,659
You don't just get to rock.
1470
01:09:33,726 --> 01:09:36,828
You got to earn the right
to rock.
1471
01:09:36,895 --> 01:09:40,532
Dude! We got 11 minutes.
1472
01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:42,802
Anyone know where MP 46 is?
1473
01:09:42,868 --> 01:09:44,304
Depends on your perspective.
1474
01:09:44,371 --> 01:09:46,271
To really dig the groove
of the quantum realm,
1475
01:09:46,338 --> 01:09:48,340
you gotta choose a place
to dig it from.
1476
01:09:48,407 --> 01:09:49,842
Dig?
1477
01:09:51,176 --> 01:09:53,947
Anyone know where MP 46 is?
1478
01:09:54,012 --> 01:09:56,349
(ALL SCREAMING)
1479
01:10:00,286 --> 01:10:02,288
We're never gonna
make our flight.
1480
01:10:02,354 --> 01:10:03,989
(SIGHS)
1481
01:10:05,024 --> 01:10:07,059
(HORSE TROTTING)
1482
01:10:07,993 --> 01:10:10,662
MISSY: Deac, Deac.
Look at that.
1483
01:10:10,729 --> 01:10:12,464
(TAPPING ON WINDOW)
1484
01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:16,536
Whoa!
1485
01:10:17,002 --> 01:10:18,505
I got this.
1486
01:10:19,773 --> 01:10:21,274
Stop!
1487
01:10:22,675 --> 01:10:24,511
(GROUP SCREAMING)
1488
01:10:25,712 --> 01:10:27,447
BOTH: We're back!
1489
01:10:27,514 --> 01:10:28,949
What?
1490
01:10:31,417 --> 01:10:32,885
BOTH: This is bad.
1491
01:10:32,952 --> 01:10:34,753
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
1492
01:10:34,820 --> 01:10:37,056
BOTH: Really bad.
1493
01:10:37,823 --> 01:10:40,226
BILLIE: Okay, guys, let's go!
1494
01:10:42,795 --> 01:10:44,396
Come on!
1495
01:10:44,463 --> 01:10:46,131
Come on, Mozart.
1496
01:10:48,333 --> 01:10:49,734
BILL: Oh, Ted! Even if we knew
1497
01:10:49,801 --> 01:10:51,237
where we were
supposed to play,
1498
01:10:51,304 --> 01:10:53,773
there's no way
we'd ever get there in time.
1499
01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:55,842
Bill, look!
1500
01:10:55,908 --> 01:10:58,310
BILL: This is MP 46?
It makes no sense.
1501
01:10:58,377 --> 01:11:00,913
How can the song happen
right here?
1502
01:11:01,881 --> 01:11:04,618
Because this is where
it happened.
1503
01:11:05,217 --> 01:11:06,485
Ted, you're right, dude!
1504
01:11:06,552 --> 01:11:09,956
But, dude,
what're we gonna play?
1505
01:11:10,856 --> 01:11:12,591
I don't know, dude.
1506
01:11:16,194 --> 01:11:19,164
Uh, Bill and Ted?
I saved these.
1507
01:11:19,231 --> 01:11:21,000
I'm not sure if...
1508
01:11:21,067 --> 01:11:23,336
they're of any use, but...
1509
01:11:23,402 --> 01:11:25,538
- Thanks, Dennis.
- THEA: Dads!
1510
01:11:25,604 --> 01:11:27,606
Dads! MP 46.
1511
01:11:27,673 --> 01:11:29,007
And the band is ready to play.
1512
01:11:29,073 --> 01:11:31,577
Alls we need is the song.
1513
01:11:36,815 --> 01:11:38,516
Thea.
1514
01:11:38,583 --> 01:11:39,918
Billie.
1515
01:11:39,985 --> 01:11:43,288
We don't know
how to tell you this.
1516
01:11:43,355 --> 01:11:45,992
We don't have the song.
1517
01:11:47,025 --> 01:11:48,394
Wait...
1518
01:11:48,795 --> 01:11:50,396
BOTH: You don't?
1519
01:11:51,997 --> 01:11:53,698
BOTH: No.
1520
01:11:54,100 --> 01:11:55,568
We're sorry.
1521
01:11:55,635 --> 01:11:57,470
We're sorry, Dads.
1522
01:11:57,536 --> 01:12:00,506
Yeah, we really wanted to
help you out with this.
1523
01:12:00,573 --> 01:12:02,976
(WHOOSHING)
1524
01:12:05,478 --> 01:12:08,515
Dude, you seeing
what I'm seeing?
1525
01:12:12,717 --> 01:12:14,253
Preston?
1526
01:12:14,753 --> 01:12:16,355
Logan?
1527
01:12:18,623 --> 01:12:21,193
Preston/Logan.
1528
01:12:22,695 --> 01:12:24,463
Whoa.
1529
01:12:25,331 --> 01:12:27,634
BOTH: What is it, Dads?
1530
01:12:27,699 --> 01:12:29,469
BOTH: It's you!
1531
01:12:29,536 --> 01:12:30,869
BOTH: What?
1532
01:12:30,936 --> 01:12:33,939
It was you the whole time.
We just didn't see it.
1533
01:12:34,006 --> 01:12:35,274
We can't write music.
1534
01:12:35,341 --> 01:12:37,743
Whatever...
We just listen to stuff.
1535
01:12:37,810 --> 01:12:39,212
From things we like.
1536
01:12:39,278 --> 01:12:40,598
And we just kind of
put stuff together.
1537
01:12:40,613 --> 01:12:42,148
Yeah, maybe you just
listen a little,
1538
01:12:42,213 --> 01:12:43,716
make things you like.
1539
01:12:43,783 --> 01:12:45,484
And put it all together.
1540
01:12:45,551 --> 01:12:48,854
Girls, you're not here
to back us.
1541
01:12:48,921 --> 01:12:51,758
We're here to back you.
1542
01:12:51,824 --> 01:12:53,659
We're your band.
1543
01:12:54,726 --> 01:12:56,095
BOTH: Whoa.
1544
01:12:59,731 --> 01:13:01,333
BOTH: Follow us!
1545
01:13:05,203 --> 01:13:06,805
MAN: Here you go. Instruments!
1546
01:13:06,872 --> 01:13:08,373
- BOTH: Wow!
- (MAN LAUGHING)
1547
01:13:08,440 --> 01:13:11,577
Dude, I just thought
of something.
1548
01:13:11,644 --> 01:13:12,945
What is it, Ted?
1549
01:13:13,011 --> 01:13:15,447
How is just listening
to a song...
1550
01:13:15,515 --> 01:13:17,850
...gonna unite
the whole world...
1551
01:13:17,917 --> 01:13:20,086
...throughout all of time?
1552
01:13:20,787 --> 01:13:23,323
That is a good question, dude.
1553
01:13:27,527 --> 01:13:29,662
It's almost like
they'd all have to hear it
1554
01:13:29,729 --> 01:13:31,264
in order to play it.
1555
01:13:31,331 --> 01:13:33,251
Ted, of course! That's how
we're gonna unite 'em.
1556
01:13:33,297 --> 01:13:34,733
We get 'em to play along.
1557
01:13:34,801 --> 01:13:36,388
Well, if that's true,
alls we gotta do is
1558
01:13:36,403 --> 01:13:37,789
get to everyone
throughout all time.
1559
01:13:37,804 --> 01:13:40,072
Yeah, and get 'em instruments,
dude.
1560
01:13:40,139 --> 01:13:42,740
TED: In seven minutes
and 25 seconds.
1561
01:13:42,807 --> 01:13:44,275
What about a tambourine?
1562
01:13:44,342 --> 01:13:46,311
I mean, how hard can it be
to rock with that?
1563
01:13:46,378 --> 01:13:49,515
Tambourine is not as easy
as it looks.
1564
01:13:49,582 --> 01:13:52,419
What about dancing?
I'm a very gifted dancer.
1565
01:13:52,484 --> 01:13:53,985
You dance?
1566
01:13:54,052 --> 01:13:55,621
- Mmm-hmm.
- Really?
1567
01:13:55,688 --> 01:13:59,792
Why don't you go over there
and rehearse your dance?
1568
01:14:00,092 --> 01:14:01,528
Okay.
1569
01:14:02,328 --> 01:14:03,762
Dude, we have no power!
1570
01:14:03,828 --> 01:14:05,030
Say no more. On it.
1571
01:14:05,097 --> 01:14:06,364
THEA: Okay.
1572
01:14:06,431 --> 01:14:08,199
- (NOTE PLAYS)
- (SPEAKING GERMAN)
1573
01:14:08,266 --> 01:14:10,403
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1574
01:14:20,712 --> 01:14:22,247
There! Oh, Jo.
1575
01:14:22,314 --> 01:14:23,815
- Theodore.
- William!
1576
01:14:23,882 --> 01:14:25,016
- Joanna!
- Liz!
1577
01:14:25,083 --> 01:14:26,885
ELIZABETH: Hi.
1578
01:14:26,952 --> 01:14:29,789
Did you find a reality where
we're all happy together?
1579
01:14:29,855 --> 01:14:31,222
ELIZABETH: We did.
1580
01:14:31,289 --> 01:14:34,594
We realized we're happiest
in this reality.
1581
01:14:34,661 --> 01:14:36,296
BOTH: Sweet!
1582
01:14:39,231 --> 01:14:41,533
Now, um, did we hear you say
something about
1583
01:14:41,600 --> 01:14:44,537
distributing instruments
all throughout time?
1584
01:14:44,604 --> 01:14:45,637
Ready, T?
1585
01:14:45,703 --> 01:14:48,541
Five, six,
five, six, seven, eight!
1586
01:14:48,608 --> 01:14:51,711
(INSTRUMENTS
PLAYING HAPHAZARDLY)
1587
01:14:54,412 --> 01:14:57,382
Oh, my God, what's happening?
1588
01:14:58,015 --> 01:14:59,618
Excuse me, Mr. Cudi, sir?
1589
01:14:59,685 --> 01:15:01,921
Our wives just traveled
through multiple realities.
1590
01:15:01,987 --> 01:15:03,267
And in doing so,
they realized...
1591
01:15:03,322 --> 01:15:04,457
They're all happening
1592
01:15:04,523 --> 01:15:05,809
- simultaneously.
- Simultaneously.
1593
01:15:05,824 --> 01:15:07,359
Do we need individual us's
1594
01:15:07,426 --> 01:15:09,595
to take instruments
to infinite places?
1595
01:15:09,662 --> 01:15:13,032
Okay. See, contrary to what
some have argued,
1596
01:15:13,099 --> 01:15:14,801
universal wave function is,
1597
01:15:14,868 --> 01:15:16,302
epistemologically speaking,
1598
01:15:16,368 --> 01:15:17,821
both cyclic and separating.
In other words...
1599
01:15:17,836 --> 01:15:19,771
Excuse me, Kid Cudi.
I don't mean to be rude,
1600
01:15:19,838 --> 01:15:22,341
but we have, like,
four and a half minutes.
1601
01:15:23,676 --> 01:15:28,180
Madam. Madam! We have to go.
It's not safe to be in here.
1602
01:15:28,247 --> 01:15:30,950
Where were you thinking
of going?
1603
01:15:31,016 --> 01:15:33,085
(INSTRUMENTS CONTINUE PLAYING)
1604
01:15:33,152 --> 01:15:37,422
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
1605
01:15:41,493 --> 01:15:43,530
- (WHOOSHING)
- (ALL GASP)
1606
01:15:45,965 --> 01:15:47,833
I think it's a lunar eclipse.
1607
01:15:47,900 --> 01:15:49,902
That is not lunar, you guys.
1608
01:15:49,967 --> 01:15:52,238
(HORNS HONKING)
1609
01:15:55,239 --> 01:15:57,208
This is a disaster, T.
1610
01:15:57,275 --> 01:15:59,043
What are we gonna do, B?
1611
01:15:59,110 --> 01:16:02,515
(INSTRUMENTS CONTINUE PLAYING)
1612
01:16:06,051 --> 01:16:07,987
BOTH: Stop!
1613
01:16:08,054 --> 01:16:10,823
All you need to do is go
in the quantum superposition
1614
01:16:10,890 --> 01:16:12,057
with multiple realities.
1615
01:16:12,123 --> 01:16:13,858
ALL: But how?
1616
01:16:13,926 --> 01:16:16,214
Dudes, the booth is obviously
a tunnel to the quantum realm.
1617
01:16:16,229 --> 01:16:17,695
Go, go, go!
1618
01:16:17,762 --> 01:16:19,564
- Thank you, Mr. Cudi!
- Thank you, Mr. Cudi!
1619
01:16:19,631 --> 01:16:20,865
Station.
1620
01:16:20,932 --> 01:16:22,234
ALL: Station!
1621
01:16:22,301 --> 01:16:24,304
- Grom!
- Grom, you start!
1622
01:16:25,337 --> 01:16:27,239
- No, no, no...
- Stop, stop!
1623
01:16:27,306 --> 01:16:28,807
Here.
1624
01:16:28,873 --> 01:16:30,842
(BEATS PLAYING)
1625
01:16:35,314 --> 01:16:37,717
And now, Death!
1626
01:16:38,650 --> 01:16:41,153
Well... It's...
Maybe something like...
1627
01:16:41,220 --> 01:16:42,387
BOTH: Too Pale to Cry.
1628
01:16:42,453 --> 01:16:44,724
- That last riff?
- THEA: Amazing!
1629
01:16:46,925 --> 01:16:48,494
BILLIE AND THEA: Yeah.
1630
01:16:53,865 --> 01:16:56,635
TED: What're we gonna tell
people to play?
1631
01:16:57,435 --> 01:16:59,505
- We'll be right back.
- Okay.
1632
01:16:59,572 --> 01:17:02,342
Read me the number
for the infinite, dude.
1633
01:17:04,277 --> 01:17:05,411
TED: Six-nine...
1634
01:17:05,478 --> 01:17:06,712
Six-nine...
1635
01:17:06,779 --> 01:17:08,014
Two-nine-nine...
1636
01:17:08,081 --> 01:17:09,921
- How about that concerto?
- Okay, go tell him.
1637
01:17:09,948 --> 01:17:11,384
Mozart.
1638
01:17:14,686 --> 01:17:16,488
Three-four-five-five...
1639
01:17:16,555 --> 01:17:19,525
Five-one-zero-one...
1640
01:17:19,591 --> 01:17:21,192
I already said goodbye
to the girls.
1641
01:17:21,260 --> 01:17:22,962
But I wanna stay here
and dance.
1642
01:17:23,029 --> 01:17:24,897
Dennis.
1643
01:17:24,963 --> 01:17:27,032
Good luck,
my excellent friends.
1644
01:17:27,099 --> 01:17:28,801
BOTH: Thanks, Kelly.
1645
01:17:28,868 --> 01:17:30,136
Later, Dennis.
1646
01:17:30,203 --> 01:17:32,839
My name is Dennis.
Dennis McCoy.
1647
01:17:33,972 --> 01:17:35,440
Two-one-eight.
1648
01:17:35,507 --> 01:17:38,944
THEA: Faster, you know?
Yeah! Now, D.
1649
01:17:39,011 --> 01:17:40,579
Oh, yeah.
1650
01:17:41,279 --> 01:17:43,248
Yeah!
1651
01:17:43,315 --> 01:17:45,318
Watch this!
1652
01:17:45,384 --> 01:17:48,421
(INSTRUMENTS HARMONIZING)
1653
01:17:49,255 --> 01:17:50,823
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
1654
01:17:50,889 --> 01:17:53,359
(IN ENGLISH)
Jimi, for the win!
1655
01:17:55,193 --> 01:17:56,529
One-eight-two-eight...
1656
01:17:56,595 --> 01:17:57,996
Okay. Okay.
The girls said C major.
1657
01:17:58,064 --> 01:18:00,032
One-hundred thirteen
beats per minute.
1658
01:18:00,099 --> 01:18:02,702
- Got it.
- All right. Yeah.
1659
01:18:02,769 --> 01:18:05,570
Four-five-five. Five-one...
1660
01:18:12,912 --> 01:18:14,881
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
1661
01:18:22,520 --> 01:18:23,907
- Four-three-five...
- Guys, maybe just press
1662
01:18:23,922 --> 01:18:24,923
the infinite button.
1663
01:18:24,990 --> 01:18:26,324
Oh, yeah.
1664
01:18:26,391 --> 01:18:28,360
ELIZABETH: Yeah.
1665
01:18:29,362 --> 01:18:31,096
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
1666
01:18:33,097 --> 01:18:34,367
One last thing.
1667
01:18:34,432 --> 01:18:36,935
I love you, Elizabeth.
1668
01:18:37,002 --> 01:18:38,737
I love you, Joanna.
1669
01:18:38,804 --> 01:18:40,073
We know.
1670
01:18:41,439 --> 01:18:43,741
I love you.
1671
01:18:43,809 --> 01:18:46,445
- Okay, let's go.
- Okay.
1672
01:18:49,815 --> 01:18:51,083
(SCREAMING)
1673
01:19:12,003 --> 01:19:13,939
- How's it goin', Deac?
- Whoa!
1674
01:19:14,006 --> 01:19:15,641
- Missy.
- Oh!
1675
01:19:15,707 --> 01:19:18,543
In case you're wondering,
I'm essentially an infinite me.
1676
01:19:18,610 --> 01:19:19,944
Catch you later.
1677
01:19:20,011 --> 01:19:22,081
BOTH: Outstanding!
1678
01:19:25,384 --> 01:19:27,086
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
1679
01:19:31,490 --> 01:19:32,591
Yeah!
1680
01:19:32,658 --> 01:19:34,761
(ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
1681
01:19:37,962 --> 01:19:39,698
(ALL GASP)
1682
01:19:47,639 --> 01:19:49,775
- Excellent!
- Excellent!
1683
01:19:52,645 --> 01:19:54,781
BOTH: Dads!
1684
01:20:05,024 --> 01:20:06,492
BOTH: Wait.
1685
01:20:09,994 --> 01:20:11,663
(MUSIC STOPS)
1686
01:20:12,698 --> 01:20:15,902
San Dimas, make some noise!
1687
01:20:16,502 --> 01:20:18,871
(ALL VOCALIZING)
1688
01:20:26,244 --> 01:20:27,846
Yeah!
1689
01:20:30,149 --> 01:20:32,285
ALL: Ten, nine...
1690
01:20:32,350 --> 01:20:34,252
eight, seven...
1691
01:20:34,319 --> 01:20:35,653
six...
1692
01:20:35,720 --> 01:20:37,922
- five...
- Dads!
1693
01:20:37,989 --> 01:20:39,291
...four, three...
1694
01:20:39,358 --> 01:20:41,726
two, one.
1695
01:20:51,837 --> 01:20:54,507
Madam, you need to see this.
1696
01:20:58,344 --> 01:20:59,845
(BEEPING)
1697
01:20:59,912 --> 01:21:02,981
Your father would be
so proud of you.
1698
01:21:14,560 --> 01:21:15,661
Wow.
1699
01:21:15,728 --> 01:21:16,895
- Bye!
- Bye, Kid Cudi!
1700
01:21:16,962 --> 01:21:18,931
- Bye!
- See ya, Kid Cudi!
1701
01:21:54,033 --> 01:21:55,234
It's working!
1702
01:21:55,301 --> 01:21:56,802
Yeah!
1703
01:22:02,807 --> 01:22:04,877
(ALL CHEERING)
1704
01:22:17,989 --> 01:22:19,625
BILLIE: And so,
it wasn't so much
1705
01:22:19,692 --> 01:22:21,259
the song
that made the difference.
1706
01:22:21,326 --> 01:22:24,697
THEA: It was everyone
playing it together.
1707
01:22:26,030 --> 01:22:27,867
BILLIE: And it worked.
1708
01:29:38,697 --> 01:29:40,765
(WHEEZING)
Dude...
1709
01:29:40,832 --> 01:29:44,969
are you dead yet?
1710
01:29:45,036 --> 01:29:47,072
No.
1711
01:29:47,805 --> 01:29:50,107
(95-YEAR-OLD BILL WHEEZING)
1712
01:29:50,375 --> 01:29:52,444
Are you?
1713
01:29:53,845 --> 01:29:55,981
No.
1714
01:29:56,047 --> 01:30:02,186
There's one more thing
we need to do
1715
01:30:02,253 --> 01:30:04,422
before we go.
1716
01:30:05,791 --> 01:30:07,693
Definitely.
1717
01:30:20,104 --> 01:30:21,605
Ready, Bill?
1718
01:30:21,672 --> 01:30:23,474
Ready, Ted.
1719
01:30:23,908 --> 01:30:25,342
- One...
- Two...
1720
01:30:25,409 --> 01:30:28,546
BOTH: One, two, three, four!
1721
01:30:28,613 --> 01:30:31,283
(GUITARS PLAYING)
1722
01:30:51,802 --> 01:30:53,671
(GRUNTING)
1723
01:30:56,475 --> 01:30:57,976
95-YEAR-OLD BILL: Okay.
1724
01:30:58,042 --> 01:30:59,676
95-YEAR-OLD TED: Yeah. Okay.
1725
01:30:59,743 --> 01:31:02,113
- Okay.
- Okay.
1726
01:31:15,493 --> 01:31:18,329
- We still got it.
- We still got it.
1727
01:31:18,395 --> 01:31:20,798
- Hey, Bill.
- Yeah?
1728
01:31:20,864 --> 01:31:22,701
(WHEEZING)
1729
01:31:23,935 --> 01:31:26,371
(GROANING)
1730
01:31:27,904 --> 01:31:30,141
Okay, I have to sit down.
1731
01:31:30,908 --> 01:31:32,677
I'm sorry.
1732
01:31:33,578 --> 01:31:35,881
- That was fun.
- That was good.
1733
01:31:35,947 --> 01:31:38,117
(WHEEZING)
1734
01:31:40,685 --> 01:31:42,353
Nurse!
1735
01:31:42,457 --> 01:31:47,457
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