Original subtitles

♪ When I became of age my mother called me to her side ♪

♪ She said son you're growing up now ♪

♪ Pretty soon you'll take a bride ♪

♪ And then she said just because you've become ♪

♪ A young man now ♪

♪ There's still some things that you don't understand now ♪

♪ Before you ask some girl for her hand now ♪

♪ Keep your freedom for as long as you can now ♪

♪ My mama told me ♪

♪ You better shop around ♪ ♪ Shop ♪

♪ Oh yeah you better shop around ♪

♪ Shop shop around ♪

♪ Ah ah ah there's some things that I want you to know now ♪

♪ Just as sure as the winds gonna blow now ♪

♪ The women come and the women gonna go now ♪

♪ Before you tell 'em that you love 'em so now ♪

♪ My mama told me ♪

♪ You better shop around ♪ ♪ Shop ♪

♪ Oh yeah you better shop around ♪

♪ Shop shop around ♪

♪ A-try to get yourself a bargain son ♪

♪ Don't be sold on the very first one ♪

♪ A-pretty girls come a dime a dozen ♪

♪ A-try to find one who's gonna give you true lovin' ♪

♪ Before you take a girl and say I do now ♪

♪ A-make sure she's in love with-a you now ♪

♪ My mama told me ♪

♪ You better shop around ♪

[instrumental music]

Jimmy: It's funny when you think about it.

The odd things that bring people together

after a long time in a way that seems all of a sudden.

That man on my left, who is mourning the death of his car,

was a total stranger to me less than 36 hours ago.

Even though I lived with him since the day I was born.

The trouble started a few weeks after high school graduation

in the No Exit Cafe.

I had just finished one of my greatest poems,

"I was talkin' to God last night

but God wasn't talkin' to me,"

when I spotted two girls who were

trying to read each other's minds.

The pretty one in pigtails flicked her ash on my shoe.

So I figured that was an indication of something.

Two days later, we did it on the oriental rug

in the dining room at her grandmother's house.

It was about six weeks after that when she telephoned

and said she needed to have an abortion or get married.

So I, I gave her a $110 out of the money

I'd saved for my college tuition.

Then I found out that there were three other guys

who had paid for the same abortion

before she skipped town.

What happened was, I was swindled

by an 18-year-old con woman.

It was only the night before last

when I went to visit my best friend, Fred Roberts

in a last ditch attempt to borrow the money

I needed for college.

Fred, I'm desperate.

You caught another venereal disease?

No, it's somethin' else.

Can we talk inside?

You're going through another abortion?

No, when I got home tonight,

my old man told me he found out about it.

I told you something like this would happen.

Now he won't give me my tuition for college

until I come up with my half of the money.

I see.

You came to me because I've loaned you money before.

Like the time I lent you $14 and 13 cents

for the music box you gave to your beloved Lisa

on her birthday.

Like the time we went to the movies. It cost me $5...

Jimmy: Fred was being his usual self

in his buttoned-down shirt, buttoned-down mind

and buttoned-down bank account.

And so I was forced to come up with a brilliant new scheme.

It capitalized on Fred's condition, chronic virginity.

So tonight, I offered to find him a girl

if he'd lend me a $110.

It was like doing us both a favor.

So we drove around the whole town,

but because of the rain every place was dead.

Now it was twenty minutes till 2 o'clock

with my whole future ebbing away minute by minute.

I say screw it, it's a bust.

Jimmy: The deal was we wait till 2 o'clock.

I'm getting tired of driving around.

My ass is even getting numb.

Do you wanna give up? Is that what you're trying to tell me?

- That's right. - Okay.

Go to Harvard a virgin.

But how are you gonna feel when they ask you

how many times you've scored?

Those Ivy League schools send out questionnaires

on that kind of stuff, you know?

I'll lie.

After all the hours I spent teaching you

practically everything I know?

Shit! You make most of that stuff up.

Helped you win back Denise, didn't it?

- Not the same thing. - What's the difference?

It's friendship, isn't it?

I might have loaned it to you as a friend.

It was your idea to ask me as a pimp.

[instrumental music]

Stop here!

I don't like this neighborhood.

Pull over! That place is loaded with college girls.

I still got twenty minutes, right?

Fifteen.

♪ Love ♪

♪ We need... ♪

[sighs]

♪ Oh ♪

Jimmy: Hi.

What are you reading there?

Kierkegaard.

Looks interesting. The way you're reading it.

He's a gas.

Fourteen minutes.

Would you give me a chance?

Jimmy: Sure isn't very swingin' in here tonight.

When school starts up, it's a real zoo.

You go to Northwestern?

University of Chicago, both me and Fred.

We're juniors.

Do you go to Northwestern?

Jimmy: What's your major? - Political science.

Don't ask me why.

You could always go into the foreign service.

I'd like you to meet Fred Roberts.

- Hi. - Hi.

♪ But I was wrong yeah yeah yeah ♪

Fred: Eleven minutes.

Say, Fred just came up with this great idea.

This place is closing in a few minutes and Fred thinks

it might be fun if we all go out for dessert.

Fred's got a car, so there's no problem with transportation.

I have one too.

There's no use in takin' two cars, right, Fred?

Yeah.

Where's there to go?

Fred thinks the No Exit might be fun.

- The what? - An espresso place.

You know, poetry reading, folk singing.

You'll love it, it's great.

♪ And I know oh oh ♪

Just to relieve the monotony.

Why not?

Don't worry about the tab, Fred will charge it

to one of his old man's department stores.

Right, Fred?

I'll see you in the car.

[instrumental music]

Jimmy: She decided to sit up front.

Screwing up the plan to get her in the back

to wait for Fred.

[indistinct chatter on radio]

Until Rock and Rob joins you at 6:00 a.m.

We'll leave you with this classic by The Spaniards.

That station must be going off the air.

- Guess so. - What'd you say?

- I said it must be. - What?

Going off the air, the station.

Oh, yeah.

♪ Goodnight sweetheart well it's time to go ♪

[sighs]

Could you, uh,

put your finger right there?

Uh, yeah.

Just, just pinch it.

♪ Goodnight sweetheart goodnight ♪

Thanks.

I love it when it rains, don't you?

Me? I don't know.

Fred does... a lot.

I like... the sound of it.

[exhales]

Makes me melt kind of.

Fred must have gotten lost.

My brother's name is Fred.

He's in the army.

Fred's in the ROTC.

He's officer material.

♪ Goodnight sweetheart goodnight ♪

Excuse me.

Come on, Fred, what are you getting

so pissed off about, huh?

- Fred, listen. - Hey, let go!

- I was only priming her up... - Like hell!

You can't control yourself, your goddamn pecker

leads you around like a mule chasing a carrot.

But I didn't even get it in! We were waiting for you!

- Bull! Bullshit! - I swear!

Listen, Fred, I'm telling you

this girl's crazy about you.

I was only a temporary substitute.

She's crazy about me, huh?

- I think you hurt her feelings. - Hurt her feelings?

Hurt her feelings? Look...

- Hey! - Here's your goddamn beer!

[instrumental music]

You don't want a lift?

Alright, pick you up in the morning.

[instrumental music]

Jimmy: Now it looked like I'd be stuck forever

in this snobbish suburb of Evanston

while my rich-raised friends cartwheeled off to Harvard

or Yale or wherever they were going.

All because of one night on an oriental rug.

It pissed me off! It really pissed me off.

Then I heard the clattering symbol of my doom

on its way to a 6:00 a.m. collection of working drones

to take them to their downtown hives.

Soon they would be coming for me.

But I wouldn't let it get me.

Not tonight, and not yet.

Faye: Jimmy, it's your mother. Are you decent?

Jimmy: Yes, mother.

I wanna talk to you.

- Is father here? - He drove over to Sears.

Jimmy, listen to me.

You're going to college whether you like it or not.

It's not exactly my choice.

Faye: I know your father very well.

I figured out why he's been so strange

about making you come up with that money.

It's not how you spent it. It's more than that.

Jimmy: Now what did I do?

I think you wounded him deeply

when you chose your college.

What do you mean?

I think he wanted you, his oldest son,

to follow in his footsteps.

You mean, he wanted me to go to his school? Mom!

I should think you'd be proud of your father's alma mater.

Most sons would like to go to the same school.

But McKinley College?

Who the hell ever heard of McKinley college?

It happens to be a very respected business school.

But it's a monastery! An all-boys school!

Oh! I thought what you wanted was an education.

Jimmy: Who the hell can get an education right in the middle

of downtown Chicago, in a skyscraper?

Besides, I don't wanna live at home with Rosie and Toby

around all the time and you and father arguing every night.

Jimmy: How would I study? - Your father managed it.

He didn't even get his degree till after Rosie was born.

At least you have your own room

which is more privacy than he ever had.

I'm not going to McKinley College.

Let's face facts, Jimmy.

That is the only way I can get your father

to send you to school.

You know his alternatives. A real job!

And not one of these dollar-an-hour

potential artist things.

A full-time job so that you can contribute

your share to this house!

It's either that or McKinley.

That's what it comes down to.

[instrumental music]

I'll speak to your father by lunchtime.

I ironed a clean shirt for you. It's in the closet.

Be here on time.

Comb your hair.

[door opens]

[door closes]

Suzie: And after two dry vermouths on the rocks,

sweet Sarah was hominy, gritting all over the judge.

Which is not to say that after all the guests went home,

they both didn't get very sugarly

and very southernly in the den.

Are you sure it was Lisa's mother?

The party was at my house, wasn't it? Who cut the canapes?

I think you make that stuff up.

Well, that's just because you're new here.

Fred: I was born here!

Yeah, but your grandfather wasn't.

And it takes at least three generations

before you can follow trends.

Fred: Trends, hell!

Look, Fred, do you always have to drive nine miles an hour?

Hey, I don't have to drive fast to get my kicks.

- How do you get your kicks? - He reads.

[chuckles]

How about you?

You guys find that, uh, girl you were lookin' for last night?

What, what are you talking about?

She's just testing, Fred. She doesn't know a thing.

Dum-de-dum.

[instrumental music]

[birds chirping]

[engine rumbling]

Hey, watch the upholstery, will you?

Say hello to Mathew Hollander.

Who's Mathew Hollander?

You'll see.

[birds chirping]

- Where's my radio? - It's in the trunk.

It'll break back there, stupid. Go get it!

Alright.

I think you two make the neatest couple.

[trunk door slams]

[knock on door]

Lisa's out back. Go on around back.

[instrumental music]

Thank you.

Lisa's next door, Jimmy.

Go past the garden by the pool.

Jimmy: Okay, thanks.

[music continues]

That was terrific, Mathew.

I thought I was in trouble there for a while.

Oh, not a chance.

[sighs]

Lisa: Jimmy! - Hi.

Hi, we just finished. Do you know Mathew Hollander?

- No! How do you do, Mathew? - Pleased to meet you, Jimmy.

Lisa's told me a lot about you.

- Really? Great. - Don't worry.

- Nothing flattering. - Yeah, right.

See you later, Mathew.

Come on, I'll get my things.

Jimmy: Are you gonna see him later?

It's just an expression.

Are you gonna kiss me passionately in the forest

like a highway man?

[instrumental music]

That's enough.

[instrumental music]

Jimmy: Lisa thought it was cute when I took her

to the No Exit Cafe instead of one of those

downtown restaurants where the rich race went.

She didn't understand, it was neither cute

nor romantic, it was poverty.

She thought just because I look like everybody else

and I spoke English, that we were the same.

But... we weren't.

- Come. - Come on, horsey. My horsey.

Lisa: Ride me to Banbury Fair.

Why don't you go play by yourself, little girl?

Giddy-up!

Hey!

- Sorry. - Jimmy, what's the matter?

Look, every time we go some place,

you start running around like your ass is on fire.

Why the hell can't you stay with me just one time?

Are you embarrassed to be with me or somethin'?

- You know I'm not. - Then what?

When we're alone, you always find some reason

to, to start things.

Ah! You're so goddamn scared.

Sometimes I think you're frigid or something.

You just expect every girl you see

to plop in bed with you.

I hear about you and those girls you go out with.

What about you?

Every time I cross that

goddamn southern threshold of yours,

I have to be reminded of your gentlemen callers.

If I don't go out with other boys,

I couldn't go out with you.

Mommy won't let me go out with

just one boy, you know that.

I suppose she examines you to make sure

no one has crossed the Mason-Dixon line.

The only one she worries about is you.

Mommy has no illusions about you and neither do I.

I'm no different than those other guys she approves of.

The only difference is they have cars

with back seats to screw on.

It's not the only difference. Mommy's right.

You're always in trouble, and if you're not in it

you're looking for it.

Are you gonna think that of me for the rest of our lives?

The rest of our lives?

- Yes. - No.

[instrumental music]

Jimmy, don't, please.

Don't.

[instrumental music]

- Jimmy. - What?

Jimmy, can I see it?

Will anything happen?

Not if I don't want it to.

[chuckles] It looks funny.

You wanna hurt its feelings?

I'm sorry.

Jimmy: It's okay.

Is it always hot like this?

Only when it likes someone.

Does it like me?

Don't you know?

It's funny. It makes me feel funny.

Jimmy, don't.

[birds chirping]

Rub some oil on my legs, Fred.

All I get from the sun is red blotches.

- I won't break, Fred. - I know it.

My thighs, too.

Do you think Fred leads a secret life?

No, he's just a little timid with girls.

Timid? He's scared to death.

I think it's nice.

Sure you do.

Everybody needs a rest.

What do you mean by that?

Dum-de-dum.

Shut up, Suzie.

Oh, my! I'm on everybody's shit list today.

- Just do it, will you, Fred? - I am! I'm doing it.

Jimmy: After tonight, I won't see you

till you get back home for Christmas vacation.

Lisa: By then you'll probably forget all about me

with all those girls up at Western Illinois.

Maybe, except I'm not goin' there.

Why? You said you couldn't wait to go.

No! I found me a better deal.

It's a really good school. McKinley College.

McKinley College?

Yeah, the family's always gone to McKinley.

- Isn't that a business school? - Sure, that's why.

Do you know how many English majors they have at McKinley?

- No. - Practically none.

So I'll be getting individual instruction

like one of those guys at Oxford.

Oh, it certainly sounds nice.

To tell you the truth,

it practically killed my old man

when I decided not to go to his alma mater.

It's the least I can do to make the old man happy.

You're doing this for your father? Is that why?

- Yeah. - I think that's wonderful.

[instrumental music]

You know, it really bothers me...

It'll be months till I see you again.

I can't believe I'll lose you that easily.

I bet one morning I'll open my eyes

and there you'll be, all tan and wet from swimming.

And I won't ask what you're doing in Hawaii or anything.

We'll just run along the beach and climb coconut trees,

and go to a big luau every single night except Wednesdays.

Why except Wednesdays?

'Cause on Wednesdays we make love, silly.

Just on Wednesdays?

Well, maybe Saturdays too.

That way it'll be spaced out.

You sure have become liberal

since we've moved to the islands.

Of course, there are practical things to be considered

before we actually start planting pineapple trees

in our own backyard.

- Practical? - Yeah, like money.

- Oh, that. - Yeah, that.

There's always mommy.

Don't move.

Now blow it off and make a wish.

[blows]

Lisa: What did you wish for?

Jimmy: Lisa, do you remember how much your ticket cost?

I mean, your plane fare for Hawaii.

About a $190, why?

All I need is $88.

Are you asking me for it?

Where would I get that kind of money?

- Mommy! - You're kidding, aren't you?

You know how she feels about you.

But once I got there, I can get a job.

I could work during the day and go to school at night.

And how do you know you could find a job?

I've worked for a photographer before

and that's like a profession.

If I don't get a job right away, I'll stay with you.

- With me? - Sure.

- You're not staying on campus. - Where would you sleep?

- In bed. Where do you think? - Whose bed?

We'll talk about that when I get there.

Jimmy, you can't.

You just can't. You're dreaming.

I'm dreaming, huh?

[instrumental music]

Jimmy: Hawaii was no dream.

To me, Hawaii was like waking up.

The real dream was Fred's mansion and Suzie's gossip.

Somehow it all seemed true

and even available when I was with them.

But afterwards, when it was all over,

I always went back to the dingy back door landing

of my own house.

Well, in Hawaii, me and Lisa would be equal.

Both strangers, pioneers together.

All I needed was $88.

Jimmy: Rosie!

[whistles]

Rosie!

What's up?

Look, I've never asked you for anything before, have I?

And I'm not gonna ask you for anything now.

I'm gonna give you a chance to earn a lot of money.

- Well, what do you think? - About what?

- About making some money? - You haven't said how yet.

Well, if I tell you, you gotta promise

to keep it a secret. You can't even tell Toby.

I never tell Toby anything.

Rosie...

tomorrow morning at 11:45

a plane's taking off from the O'Hare Airport,

where do you think it's going?

Hawaii.

Well, don't you think that's great?

I'm gonna be on that plane.

What's the proposition?

Well, you see, there's a lot of new stuff goin' on there

because of the population explosion.

Jimmy: You do know about the population explosion, don't you?

Rosie: I think so. - Oh.

Well, anyway, with all the people being born there

I'll be able to get on the first wave

and, and grow with them.

Jimmy: Raise pineapples,

coconuts, natural pearls. So, you see, Rosie...

Sure, I see, you want me to give you some money.

No! Not give. Invest it with me.

Look, when I take those kids bowling

it makes them work for me, that's an investment.

But you... Whoever got anything out of you?

Rosie: So if I laid bread on you, it wouldn't be investing,

it would be giving.

So it's a long-term investment. You can't lose.

Okay. How much do you want?

- $88. Rosie: That much?

I'll get it back to you, I promise.

What have you got for collateral?

What do you want?

How about your record player?

It's not mine. It belongs to Fred Roberts.

Jimmy: Okay!

It's yours.

I thought you said it belonged to Fred.

Yeah, well, it's not anymore.

- Okay, then $20. - $20?

What do you expect for stolen property?

Oh, come on, Rosie.

I'll, I'll throw in the records, too.

- And the cufflink case? Jimmy: Anything.

- Okay, then $24. - $30.

Since you're my brother, I may be willing to go up to $28.

- But that's the best I can do. - I'll take it.

Faye: This afternoon. Al: What? When?

Faye: I invited her for 04:30.

Al: Uh-uh, not while this is still my house.

Faye: Al, lower your voice,

the neighbors already know too much about us.

Goddammit, use your head, Faye.

You can't let that kind of a woman

into a house with children.

Toby, go work for your sister now.

I'll give you the 25 cents later.

She's not that kind of a woman.

She's intelligent and successful and I like her.

And I'm telling you, I don't want her in this house

and that's final!

You certainly didn't mind her

the night of the Real Estate Career Dance.

I saw the way you watched her.

Who didn't watch her?

Al: She didn't leave much to the imagination.

We should be grateful she invited us.

God knows when we get out otherwise!

If Joyce Fickett is in the house when I get back from the office,

I'm gonna be damn sore!

- Now, I'm warnin' you, Faye! - Al, lower your voice.

Just use your goddamn head, Faye.

That's all I'm telling you.

Where have you been?

Mom, I need to tell you somethin'.

Faye, where the hell are the Fig Newtons?

Not now! Go in and see your father.

I talked to him about McKinley and he's pleased as punch.

- Well, mom... Al: Faye!

Just go!

[crunching loudly]

- Cream? - No, thanks.

Like it black now, huh?

Jimmy: I could not stand watching television

with father because he crunched peanuts.

But what he could do with the Fig Newton

was beyond belief.

Leavin' for work already?

[sighs] I gotta bone up for the old cost-accounting procedure.

- Oh! - You sure work hard.

I got something you might be interested in.

Here, look at it.

In the corner at the bottom...

on the right. Heard about Gene Sherwood?

Oh, yeah!

Al: Quite a success story, huh?

You know, he went to McKinley, too.

We were buddies all through school, me and Gene.

No kidding?

See what you can accomplish if you put your mind to it?

Of course, a young man has oats to sow.

I guess I overdo it, though. I'm the first to admit it.

Yeah, but you came around in the end,

that's what matters, that's what counts.

Hey, look, you'll like McKinley.

I gotta go. I'll see you later.

You know, I was talkin' to this kid yesterday

and... and he said that, uh, he's goin' to Hawaii.

His father could easily send him to Yale

but this guy wants to work his up way from the bottom.

So he's takin' off and gettin' himself a job.

Isn't that admirable?

I'm sure his father's very proud of him.

I wouldn't be impressed by that crap!

Hawaii's a lotta beach bums.

- But it isn't fair somehow. Al: What's that?

The way you worked your way through McKinley and everything.

Fifty hours a week besides raisin' us kids.

And I get it all for free.

[laughs] Since when are you worried

about gettin' somethin' for nothin'?

I was thinkin' along the terms of, uh,

character development.

What the hell are you talkin' about?

Look, I, I know we moved to Evanston to have a better life

but we still don't have that much furniture.

I mean, like we did in the old neighborhood.

And I blew all that money!

Start thinkin' about your studies.

Let me worry about the finances.

But I'm worried about the finances, too.

Sending me to college is gonna cost you.

I know what it's gonna cost me, dammit.

Do you really think it's worth it?

You little son of a bitch, what are you getting at?

I wanna go to Hawaii.

- Hawaii? - Like the kid I told you about.

Hawaii?

Think of all the money you'll save.

Oh, I'm gonna save money, alright.

You either go to McKinley College

or you get the hell out Monday morning,

you find yourself a job that starts paying,

pay your way around here!

Faye: There's some cold meat loaf in the refrigerator

if anybody's still hungry.

You gotta pay your share

or you get the fuck out!

You! You and your goddamn aristocratic son!

Not one cent, do you understand?

And if that goddamn woman is in my house

when I get back from the office

there's gonna be hell to pay!

What did you do to your father now?

[upbeat music]

Jimmy: Father was just displaying

the characteristics of his kind.

He'd probably never taken a chance in his entire life.

There were other ways of getting to Hawaii.

But at least I still have my job.

[music continues]

It wasn't gonna be easy

getting an advance out of my boss.

A photographer, who was so stingy

he made Fred Roberts look like the Ford Foundation.

But even he couldn't ignore all of the extra stuff

I was doin' today to impress him.

I just hoped he wouldn't be in a lousy mood

because of his mother, the only woman in his life

who was constantly spying on him and driving him crazy.

She even hired private detectives.

Linus: What? Are you having me tailed again?

[indistinct chatter]

Damn you, I will not be tailed by any damn tan Chevrolet!

Do you understand?

I suppose you expect me,

a woman of my age,

to follow you myself?

I don't want anybody to follow me.

Well, someone's got to look out for you.

Mama, I'm 38 years old.

And you still can't look out for yourself.

Those dreadful parties

and that awful Caroline Mengers!

[upbeat music]

You're always together smooching over the phone.

An old woman could be dying and not get past the busy signal.

And she's no spring chicken, either.

[whirring]

Linus: You know, I'm not that lucky, mother.

You'll know how lucky you are when you read my will.

I'm sick and tired of hearing about your lousy will!

[whirring]

Hello, Mr. Spaulding, Mrs. Spaulding.

How are you today?

Jimmy: Since Mr. Spaulding was in such a lousy mood,

I decided not to ask him for the advance.

Now I was still $60 short.

[instrumental music]

Man 1 on TV: Hadn't we better send out flanking guards?

Man 2 on TV: What for? - Is that you, Jimmy?

Man 2 on TV: Afraid of that gallows-face?

Man 1 on TV: Afraid? Certainly not, sir.

What took you so long?

Man 1 on TV: Don't worry, we're more than enough

to take care of him.

Jimmy?

Is anybody there?

Jimmy?

[door shuts]

Fred?

[instrumental music]

[door shuts]

[creaking]

Man 3 on TV: Once these poor people

were all happy and contented.

[dialing]

Man 3 on TV: And now...

Tortured, eyes put out, tongues slit, ears hacked off...

They come to me for protection.

What are you doing?

I don't feel like Jack The Ripper today.

But that was the best one yet.

[instrumental music on TV]

[heavy breathing]

This is stupid. I feel like an idiot.

You never felt stupid before.

Before was different.

Woman on TV: I said I'm not hungry.

Man on TV: My, so you did, I'd forgotten.

He's real bitchin'.

- Who? - Errol Flynn.

Yeah.

- You're breaking my arm. - Sorry.

[Flynn laughing]

[instrumental music on TV]

It's stuck.

- I'll get it. - Yeah.

Watch your nails.

Man on TV: Next to Roman friends.

Woman on TV: Would you have taken Roman lives?

Man on TV: Yes, those that deserved it, cruel and unjust.

You're a strange man.

Strange?

Because I can feel for beaten and helpless people?

Woman on TV: No, you're strange because you want to...

[breathing heavily]

- Jimmy? - What?

Not right away, okay?

Okay.

Goodbye.

You just don't understand, do you?

Bye, milady.

Ready?

[breathing heavily]

[moaning]

- It's over. - What's over?

"Robin Hood."

Jimmy: Even if Denise wasn't one of the world's

greatest wits, we'd spent some great afternoons here.

A habit I was gonna be sorry to break.

I realized I'd have to tell her that I was going.

But what if she cried or started or throwing things,

or... or, wow, even told Fred?

Denise: What's wrong with you?

What are you staring like that for?

Nothin'.

I'm just lookin'.

Hand me my purse, will ya?

On the TV.

[indistinct chatter on TV]

What I wanted to tell you is tomorrow morning I'm...

I mean, there's a possibility.

I'm thinking about going to Hawaii.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

The folks' plane gets in at three.

They should be getting here soon.

I guess I better be goin'.

Denise, I was wondering, you don't suppose

you could lend me a little bread, do ya?

I mean, just till Monday. Mr. Spaulding ran out of checks

and all I need is $60 or even part of it.

What's wrong? I'll pay you back first thing Monday.

I can't lend you any money, I'm sorry.

Jimmy: Why not?

- Fred won't let me. Jimmy: Fred?

What's Fred got to do with this?

He says you're a bad risk.

I promised him if you ever ask me for any money, I'd say no.

Jimmy: How would he find out?

I'd have to tell him.

Can't keep secrets from Fred.

Well, you certainly managed to keep

these Saturday afternoons a secret.

That is entirely different.

Fred wouldn't understand about that.

Okay.

See you guys tonight at the No Exit.

Woman on TV: Oh, no, not another run? These nylons are hopeless.

Hey.

Could you change the channel on the TV, please?

There's nothing but commercials on that one.

[clicks]

Jimmy: I couldn't really stay pissed off at Denise.

If you've ever read a little Freud,

you would know that she was just over-compensating

for a secret habit from Fred.

Boy, first my boss and his mother, and now this.

And the day was almost over.

Wait a minute.

My boss' mother.

Alice? Alice, get in here.

She drinks. Ali...

Oh, there you are.

The young man and I are waiting for our refreshments.

I've been in the kitchen doin' the silver.

I only got two hands.

Brandy, scotch, milk, coke?

- Water's fine. - He'll have water.

- And I'll have brandy. - You will not.

Alright then, tea. Step on it.

You want to tell me about Linus,

isn't that what you said on the phone?

- Well... - Don't stammer, dear. Speak up.

I thought you might like to know who goes to his parties.

You don't go to his parties, do you?

Jimmy: Me? - Shh.

Thank you.

[cup clinking]

[whispering] Who did you say was coming to Linus' party tonight?

- Well... - Shh! How many?

Fifteen, sixteen.

Name them.

Well, you see, I, uh, sort of consider it...

classified information, if you know what I mean.

Do you mean you want money for it?

Yeah. I thought maybe we could think along those lines.

How do I know you're not passing bogus information?

You don't expect me to buy a pig in a poke?

Okay. We'll start with... Harry Tools.

I wouldn't give you two cents for Harry.

- Why not? - Give me another.

Uh, Mort Wiseman.

- No good. - Him either?

Hit me again.

Not until we settle our financial arrangement.

You don't expect me to pay for the people I already know about.

Alright, then, you tell me who you know is coming,

and I'll tell you true or false.

[chuckling]

You know what? I like you.

Anyway, I don't care to know who's coming tonight.

I don't care about anything except...

except why I can't go.

Damn them.

It's her, isn't it?

Tell me about her.

I'll give you all the money you want

if you tell me about her.

All I need is $60.

Her. Tell me about her.

Well, they're always together

or smooching over the phone.

An old woman could be dying,

but she couldn't get past the busy signal.

And she's no spring chicken, either.

That bitch.

She hates me because he loves me, doesn't she?

And not inviting me to his party is his only one step.

- Only one step? - What next?

What next, Mr. Reardon?

Soon he will stop coming on Sundays.

That's the next step.

Then, he'll forget Mother's Day

and my birthday, and even Christmas.

I happen to know she's working on Christmas now.

- Oh! - Party time again?

Get out of here, you goddamn bladder watcher.

Okay by me, but the next time you wet the sofa,

I quit.

Thank you.

Thank you for telling me about her.

[inhales deeply] That's worth $60.

I'll write you a check.

Please, I need cash.

I don't have any place to cash the check

and... and I need to buy an airline ticket.

But I don't keep cash in the house.

She steals too.

Well, okay...

I was glad to have helped you.

[inhales sharply]

I didn't mean to cheat you.

Sure. I, I know.

[instrumental music]

How old are you, Mr. Reardon?

Seventeen.

Oh, my. Seventeen?

Seventeen...

[inhales sharply] Can you imagine that?

Seventeen.

Wait, I may have something put away.

[music continues]

Wanna match me double or nothing?

Jimmy: Hardly anything stood between me and Lisa now.

I'd packed all of my important stuff

including a great Army ski parka,

though I didn't know what I'd do with it in Hawaii.

And tonight, I was taking Lisa out in my suit,

which wasn't so bad, in the dark.

I thought I'd write something down

so that they wouldn't worry.

"Dear mom and dad, there seems to be a growing distance

between what I am and what you determine me to be.

For this reason, I must now sever my life from yours."

Oh! Jimmy, I didn't hear you come in.

Why don't you come say hello to our company?

What's that you're...

- Oh, a poem. - Yeah, sort of.

Well, why don't you come and visit for a while?

I'd like you to meet my friend Joyce.

Hurry up before your father comes home,

she came late, I just can't tell her to leave.

- Okay. - You look very handsome.

Thanks, mom.

Listen, uh, Fred and Lisa are going away

for college tomorrow and I wanted to get 'em some presents.

Not now.

Jimmy: I decided I'd better leave a note

that they would actually understand.

So I wrote...

"Dear mom and father...

goin' to Hawaii.

Please don't worry.

Love, Jimmy."

[Faye and Joyce laughing]

I knew mom would help out

with the 12 bucks I still needed

if I would only place nice for her friend.

[laughing] He's my oldest.

Jimmy, you heard me speak of Joyce Fickett, haven't you?

Nice to meet you. My mother talk of you often.

I've heard a lot about you, too.

You're not gonna be comfortable on that, are you?

- Come here. - Thanks.

Do you know that Joyce grew up in a lighthouse?

Isn't that wonderful?

A real lighthouse, huh?

A real one.

Jimmy: She had a nice lemony smell

that was perfume, but not perfumy perfume.

I almost mentioned it, but I decided to play it cool.

I could hear the smooth scrape of nylon

as she crossed her legs.

And for some reason, that's all I needed.

- Right, Jimmy? - Pardon me?

Joyce was interested to know that you write poetry.

Oh.

Why don't you recite the one...

"Heredity, Take Your Hands Off Me."

Come on. Stand up.

[chuckles] Don't embarrass him, Faye.

What's that? Oh! [cup clattering]

Hello, Al.

Good seeing you again. Huh, Joyce.

Are you enjoying this weather... we're having?

Hot.

What are you doing all dressed up?

I got a date.

I want you home early tonight.

[scoffs] Never enough time at the office to get things done.

It's good to see you again, Joyce.

You'll have to stop by and visit me sometime.

I'd love to.

Would anyone like more coffee?

[Al yells] Faye!

Excuse me a minute. I... I'll be right back.

Al: Faye, why the hell don't you listen to me?

Faye: Al, will you lower your voice?

Al, don't...

Just don't. Don't do it.

Al: How long has she been here?

[sighs] I smoke too much.

So, how long have you lived in Evanston?

Al: What the hell is wrong with you?

Two years about, we moved up

from the north side.

- Do you like it better here? - A little.

But not really, it's, uh,

it's kind of boring sometimes, you know?

Evanston's dry, but I must say,

I am a firm believer in fate.

And, um, everything happens for a reason.

Well...

Well... I see you two have become friends, that's nice.

It's been wonderful, Faye, but I'm afraid

I have guests for dinner.

Oh, what a pity. Oh, I wish you could stay longer.

I... I'll see you to your car.

Oh, I walked. I love to walk in this weather.

Uh, not at this hour. Jimmy, you'll drive Joyce home.

Mom, I'll be late.

Faye: Here are the keys.

Please, he's an excellent driver.

Jimmy: Twenty bucks. My mom came through.

- Oh, mom. - Just drive safely, huh?

- Go on. - Bye.

Now go.

[sighs]

[engine whirring]

I would offer you that drink, but I wouldn't want you

to be late for your date.

Yeah. I'd really like to, but I should be going.

Another time, then.

I'm afraid not.

I'm leaving for Hawaii tomorrow.

Oh? Faye didn't mention that.

It's sort of a secret.

I'm good with secrets.

Anyway, it was very nice to have met you, Mr. Reardon.

Yeah, it was nice to have met you too, Mrs. Fickett.

[starts engine]

[instrumental music]

I think I'll take you up on that drink.

I'll be back in a while.

Jimmy's using the car.

- I gave him the keys. - You what?

He's driving Joyce home.

He's driving Joyce home?

[clattering]

Nice place you got here.

I'm glad you like it.

Not my taste, really. My ex-husband's.

Oh.

He always thought of himself

as the Great Dane type,

so everything's woodand dreary.

I like brighter things, but I haven't got around

to fixing it up yet.

Looks nice, though.

[exhales]

Joyce: I hope you outlive your stomach.

Oh, don't worry.

It's made of rust-proof aluminum.

[inhales sharply] Mine's the old-fashioned kind.

Cast-iron.

But I think it's turning to tin.

That's what happens when you get old.

You're not old.

I'm older than you.

You aren't really expecting guests, are you?

I mean, you just made that up to get out of my house.

I guess I was pretty silly myself.

You were cute.

I suppose it must have been difficult.

Breaking away from your family and friends

to start a new life out here in the Midwest,

setting yourself up in real estate.

Not really. I'm having a ball.

The independent type, huh?

So how does it feel...

being out of school?

It's a step.

Faye tells me you worked for a photographer this summer?

Yeah. I was Mr. Spaulding's associate.

He owns the studio.

Well, that's wonderful.

I mostly took still lives for Marshall Fields.

Joyce: And now you're going to Hawaii?

That's right.

- And it's a secret? Jimmy: Yeah, it's a secret.

I hope I'm not keeping you from your date.

Yeah. I better be going.

Here.

- Thanks. - Sure.

Thanks very much for the lift.

Jimmy: Lisa was waiting, I had the old man's car,

Joyce was my mother's friend.

But still I heard myself say...

You don't know what time it is, do you?

I don't wanna be too early.

I mean, that the changes from a pastoral society

to a primarily industrial culture has, well,

taken people away from their historical land roots.

Did you know that after a fruit fly goes up into orbit,

it comes back, with its, you know,

reproductive system all screwed up?

Baby flies barely hatch more females than males.

If it screws up flies that way,

what do you think science does to people?

- I don't know. - Well, that's what I mean.

We probably won't know for generations,

hundreds of years even.

Oh, I don't think we have any immediate problems, do you?

Are you kidding? With the world the way it is, the bomb?

Somehow, man just doesn't seem to stop himself.

I even wrote a poem about it. Just a short one.

- Wanna hear it? - Alright.

Let's see, it begins...

"They say that each and every man is responsible

for his destiny.

My thoughts are willing to go that way.

But what about the rest of me?"

[laughs]

Sort of Ogden Nashish, isn't it?

Sort of, I guess.

Let's hear some more.

I'd like to, but it might take all night.

May I have one of your cigarettes?

Oh, sure.

[lighter clicks]

[exhales]

I wrote one about the only solution to it all

being personal contact between two people

who can share a moment with one another.

A piece of each other's eternity, sort of.

Wanna hear it?

[instrumental music]

[clinking]

[sighs] Aren't you gonna be late?

Yeah, uh, do you have a phone?

In the pantry, next to the kitchen.

[exhales]

[sighs]

Hi, beautiful.

- You're drunk. - Like hell.

Lisa over phone: Where are you? - Nowhere.

I had to give a friend of my mother's a ride home.

Jimmy, I've been waiting here almost an hour

in my formal.

Mommy thinks we're going to the dance.

You sound great.

Wait till you see what I've got.

- This isn't funny. - Do you love me?

I don't intend to sit here all night.

Lisa, goddamn it, I said I'll be right there

as soon as I take my father's car back.

I wouldn't want mommy to see you like that.

Jesus! I said I'm sober.

- Well, hurry up. Jimmy over phone: Okay, I will.

Do you love me?

[instrumental music]

♪ Chances are 'cause I... ♪

Is everything alright?

You wouldn't like to dance, would you?

Do you have time?

I won't get another chance. I'm leaving tomorrow.

♪ ...I'm in love with you ♪

Hope I'm up to it.

♪ Just because my composure sort of slips ♪

♪ The moment that your lips meet mine ♪

♪ Chances are you think my heart's ♪

♪ Your valentine ♪

♪ In the magic of moonlight... ♪

Did I do something wrong?

♪ When I sigh hold me close dear... ♪

- Well, goodnight. - Jimmy?

Yes?

[sighs]

Come here.

♪ ...skies are in my eyes ♪

♪ Guess you feel you'll always... ♪

I wanna...

♪ The one and only one for me ♪

♪ And if you think you could ♪

♪ Well chances are your chances are ♪

♪ Awfully good ♪

[music continues]

♪ Chances are you'll believe the stars ♪

♪ That fill the skies ♪

♪ Are in my eyes ♪

♪ Guess you feel you'll always be ♪

♪ The one and only one for me ♪

♪ And if you think you could ♪

♪ Well chances are your chances are ♪

♪ Awfully good ♪

♪ The chances are your chan... ♪

Joyce: Howdy.

♪ Are ♪

♪ Awfully good ♪

[crickets chirping]

Poor baby.

Tired?

No.

- Lucky girl. - Who?

Your girl.

I really should be going.

You're gonna write a poem about this?

You want me to?

As long as you don't mention names.

Just places and incidents.

[telephone ringing]

Sorry, darling, can't not answer it.

Hello?

Oh, Faye.

Uh, well...

No, but I'm sure he'll be right along.

Of course, there's nothing to worry about.

Yes. I'm sure.

Goodnight, Faye.

[sighs]

Thank you.

It was a pleasure, Mr. Reardon.

Yeah. It was nice to have met you, too, Mrs. Fickett.

[chuckles]

[knock on door]

[footsteps approaching]

Well, Mr. Reardon.

Hi. Lisa ready?

Lisa was ready, at 8 o'clock when you were expected.

I couldn't make it, a friend of my mother's was attacked

and I had to stay with her until she calmed down.

- It was horrible. - Is that so?

Well, I suggest you give your mother a call and tell her

you're alright, she seemed awfully worried.

- My mother? - Yeah, she called a while ago.

Anxiously trying to locate you.

Apparently, she wasn't informed of her friend's predicament.

Well, we didn't wanna upset her.

Mrs. Bentwright: At any rate, Mr. Reardon,

I'm sorry, but my daughter couldn't wait.

You mean, she's not here?

You didn't expect her to stay all night

waiting for you, did you?

Her last night at home?

She got herself a respectable date.

Where'd she go?

She'll write you from Hawaii,

I'm sure.

Did she go to the dance?

Goodnight, Mr. Reardon.

Jimmy: Did she go to the dance?

[upbeat music]

[people cheer]

[tires screeching]

[clamoring]

Hey, Reardon, you gotta have a tux to go in there!

Man 1: Hey...

Good evening, sir. May I help you?

Look, I'm the black sheep of the super-rich family

and I've contributed a substantial amount

to the maintenance of this dump.

So if I wanna go in there and get my girl,

I damn well better be allowed to.

Out of my way.

[instrumental music]

Hey!

[indistinct chatter]

Hi!

[indistinct chatter]

Woman 1: Whoo! Man 2: Hey!

[indistinct chatter]

Jimmy!

What are you doing here?

Lisa, I told you I'd be there.

Why the hell didn't you wait for me?

- You're drunk. - Bullshit.

- Lisa! - Oh, hi, Matt.

I've been lookin' for you.

You remember Jimmy, don't you?

Jimmy just dropped by to say goodbye.

But I'm planning to rape her on the way out.

- What? - Huh.

He's got a rotten sense of humor.

Could you go back to the table, please?

I'll be right over.

Are you gonna be alright?

Don't worry.

Worry.

[music continues]

I hate you, Jimmy! I hate you.

If you go over there, I'm gonna scream at the top of my lungs

how unfair you are. I'm not kidding!

[women laughing]

[indistinct chatter]

Oh, yes!

Woman 2: Ah! Oh... Get the... Young man...

Woman 2: Get... get out of here. - Hi, Suzie.

Hi, Suzie.

Bravo.

Woman 3: Whoo!

- Let go! - Not until you listen to me.

- Ah! - I despise you.

Damn it! Cut it out!

[people cheering]

Now if I let you go, will you promise not to run?

Dammit!

Jimmy: Shit!

Where do you think you're goin', huh?

Ow! My leg.

Jesus! It's bleeding.

Serves you right.

The blood's drippin' down my sock.

Let me see.

Now I feel terrible.

Terrible enough to forgive me?

- Be careful. - Of what?

Your leg.

Doesn't make any difference now.

You liar! There's nothing wrong with your leg.

You're disgusting. Get off of me!

Not until you listen to the truth

about why I was late.

- I'll scream. - No, you won't.

- Ah... - Are you gonna quit it?

- Mm-mm... - Quit it.

- Alright. - Get...

Would you stop it, please?

Look, I would've explained all this before

because it's just so goddamn simple

if you'd only listen.

Now just give me a chance.

Okay, the truth is...

- I ran out of gas. - You make me wanna vomit.

I'm telling you the honest truth, my old man's

probably calling the police right now about his car,

then your mother tells me that you went with someone else.

How am I supposed to feel?

I wouldn't have gone with Matthew

if you'd showed up on time.

You couldn't have waited a decent few minutes?

I waited two whole hours.

So big deal two hours.

I thought this was gonna be a night we'd always remember.

I had such plans.

What kind of plans?

For us.

All today I thought about us.

And I wanted...

I wanted you to make love to me tonight,

and all you did was embarrass me in front of everyone.

- I told you I was sorry. - Oh, God, you're so stupid.

You just refuse to understand, don't you?

That isn't what I meant.

What are you cryin' about?

All the time I waited for you,

I thought about how it would be tonight.

Now you've ruined everything.

Lisa, I'll... I'll make it up to you, I promise.

- It's not the same anymore. - No, it is. You'll see it is.

Jimmy, I was gonna let you make love to me.

All the way.

Lisa...

I love you.

I love you, Lisa.

[instrumental music]

- Jimmy? - What?

Can we do it now?

Right after the dance I'll be outside waiting.

- You can get rid of that guy... - I want it.

I want you now.

- Right now, you mean? - Right now.

But, Lisa, someone's liable to come strolling along any minute.

I don't care.

But what, what happens

if you started... to...

You know, some, some virgins bleed.

Do you have to talk about that?

Well, Jesus, I'm only being practical.

Funny, you were never practical like that before.

Well, it never came up before, this particular thing, I mean.

- Will you remove yourself? - But, Lisa, I wanted to tell...

- Please get off of me. - I wanted to tell you...

You don't have to tell me anything.

[inhales deeply] I understand all about it now.

- What do you understand? - You're sitting on my shoe.

Yeah, and I'm gonna stay that way until you stop crying

and explain why the hell you're so upset.

- I'll go without it. - Alright. Alright.

Here it is. Now, will you tell me what's wrong?

Nothing. Everything's perfectly fine.

I just never wanna see you again.

Why?

It's quite obvious you can't make love to me now

because you've just been to one of your,

your diseased tramps!

You're jumping to conclusions.

You've got your life to lead and so have I. So have I!

Look, if you really wanna hear the truth, I'll tell you...

I don't care about your truth!

But you might be interested to know that my date,

Matthew Hollander, I've never even kissed him.

But tonight, tonight I'm gonna give him a big surprise.

- What kind of surprise? - Figure it out.

You're the expert.

[instrumental music]

Are you trying to tell me something?

Are you and Matthew Hollander goin' to do it?

Goodbye, Jimmy.

Jimmy: The damn thing just had to fizzle out

at the most important moment of my life.

Six months of patience and top level planning and believing,

and coaxing and wooing, and now this.

This power failure. This blackout and for what?

For helping out that poor frustrated woman?

Was there no justice?

- Let's go, son. - Hey!

What the hell is going on?

We'd rather not have any trouble with you.

[grunting] Shit!

Andrew: Come on!

You son of a bitch, I was visiting my girl!

- Where'd you park? - It's a secret.

- His car's up here. Suzie: Andrew!

What the hell are you doing with my fiance?

Miss Middleburg!

- Is that your girl? - I'm not talking.

How dare you? How dare you?

Andrew: I'm sorry, Miss Middleburg.

We didn't know.

Did they hurt you, darling?

No offence, Miss Middleburg,

but do you suppose you could keep your fiance

away from the ladies' room?

But I get lonely without him.

You oughta take up anarchy. You got a flair for it.

- Shit! - Fight with Lisa?

I feel like a scotch.

Is that an invitation?

To the best place you know.

Are you sure you can get us there in one piece?

What do you mean?

Till death do us part.

[car engine rumbles]

I happen to know there aren't

four left out of our whole graduation class.

Four what?

Girls who've not been... deflowered.

Prove it.

Ask me one.

Okay. Denise Hunter.

[Suzie scoffs] Are you sure?

I know a boy who did it.

It was last summer at a splash party

at the Bentwrights.

- Lisa's house. - It was before you knew her.

Anyway...

Denise walked into one of the rooms,

and whammo!

The petals fell.

Just like, practically every girl in the senior class.

Just since the beginning of summer

I've counted enough fallen flowers

to decorate the Rose Bowl.

Who did it to Denise?

Is this a personal or a clinical inquiry?

I'm just curious.

On the record, it was Matthew Hollander.

Are you sure?

Not only Denise.

He plowed most of last year's crop single-handedly.

Y... you, you said there were four virgins.

- Just about. - Who?

Lolly Newgold, Alice Poulton

and Marianne Storres.

That's three. You said there were four.

- And me. - That's it?

Well, unless somebody's been holdin' out on me.

Shit!

Bill it to the judge, Fernando.

Certainly, Miss Middleburg.

I've always wondered about Lisa. Of course, you should know.

I know damn well she is.

- A virgin, you mean? - Yes, dammit.

- Well then, there you are. - Goddamn right I'm there.

There I am. One thing I know.

Lisa doesn't go for the star athlete type.

Suzie: You mean Matthew?

Oh! You don't have to worry about him.

He's probably driving her nuts right now

about how he won that Harper's Poetry Contest.

Jimmy: Poetry Contest?

But he's not bad looking.

That's what saves him.

You mean he writes poetry?

Oh, sure.

But most women like his short stories better.

But he doesn't wanna be a writer.

He's gonna teach History on the University Level

or run for political office.

I wouldn't be surprised if he became

President of the United...

What's the matter?

[tires screeching]

[engine rumbling]

[tires screeching]

[women laughing]

[harmonica music]

[indistinct chatter]

As Ariel cruelly tasked by the fortune's ill demand

was yet set free...

[harmonica music]

the tempest boldly met to capture wings again

in Shelly's golden breast,

and through his song...

[harmonica music]

renew herself

as truth will live when passed from soul to soul.

So, too, must every man search out his cave

and therein live

as goodness lives...

[harmonica music]

in fertile wombs of principle.

[crowd applauding]

I have come back.

I have come back from the pit of pimps and whores.

[indistinct chatter]

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm making this up on the spot, so...

bear with me.

I have come back.

Need I wash behind the ear,

is there logic in a tear?

Who has rolled my stone away?

Must I come back another day.

I have come back to dance upon

a broken toe.

It is Ulysses, home to roost,

'though perchance, a little juiced.

I have come back.

I have come back to look upon this appalling pall...

And naught there is to say, my friends

save fuck you all, you all.

[indistinct chatter]

Jimmy: In my beer you dropped your cigarette.

Don't you have the least regret?

Lisa! [echoing]

[instrumental music]

Man 3: Whoo! - Bravo! Bravo!

[cheering]

Leave him be!

[grunts]

[car engine rumbling]

Man 4: Hey!

Get back here!

[tires screeching]

[music continues]

[honking]

[honking]

Where do you think you're going with my girl,

you son of a bitch?

You son of a bitch!

Jimmy: Lisa!

Pull over!

Pull over!

I'm sorry.

[tires screeching]

Jimmy: Pull over, you son of a bitch!

Lisa!

What are you doing?

[music continues]

[tires screeching]

You asshole! Are you trying to cause an accident?

Alright, Reardon.

[grunts]

Matthew!

Please, don't, Matt...

[grunting]

Stop it, please!

[groaning]

[grunting]

[Matthew laughs]

[grunts]

[groans]

[mumbles]

- Lisa... - Get off me!

[grunting]

[sobbing] Jimmy!

[car door shuts]

[car engine rumbling]

[instrumental music]

Lisa?

Aren't you even gonna kiss me goodbye?

[music continues]

Jimmy: There are other islands.

Haiti, for instance.

Voodoo, and the natives who speak French,

and every year, a fresh crop of 17 year-old girls.

Defeat is not to be scorned.

By accepting it I was probably strengthening

the very fibers of my being.

But I couldn't drive around the loop for the rest of my life.

Napoleon at least had the Czar or someone to surrender to,

but my old man was probably wailing to gouge out

my eyeballs with a rusty spoon.

[train chugging]

It came rushing at me from behind,

rumbling overhead

thundering out of its icy tunnel

in a fury of flying gum wrappers

and old cigarette butts.

It was my old enemy...

the El.

[instrumental music]

[train chugging]

[music continues]

[honking]

[tires screeching]

[train chugging]

[whizzing]

Shit!

[car door closes]

Jimmy: At the moment of impact,

I remembered that this new car

was my old man's soul.

[coins clanking]

I called the only person I knew at that moment

who might not hang up on me.

[coin clings]

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

Hello, Joyce?

Who's this? Who's this?

Jimmy on phone: This is Mr. Reardon.

Mr. Reardon?

Mr. Reardon, remember?

Al? Al, sweetie, what time is it?

No, not Al. Jimmy. This is Jimmy Reardon.

Oh, Jimmy, baby, I'm sorry, I thought it was your father.

Jimmy?

Jimmy?

Joyce on phone: Are you still there, Jimmy?

Jimmy: Al?

Al Reardon?

My father.

My moral, upright,

coffee-slurping,

status-seeking,

putting-in-overtime, hard-day-at-the-office,

early-rising, early-bedding,

make-your-own-way-in-life father

had been screwing Joyce Fickett!

That balding man with responsibilities

was an extra-marital joy-boy.

No wonder I was having so much trouble!

It was hereditary!

[coin clings]

Al on phone: Jimmy, is that you?

Answer me, dammit! Where are you?

Talk to me, you little son of a bitch!

I'll break your goddamn...

[Al grunts]

Joyce Fickett, father.

Al on phone: Where are you, son?

I'm at Central Street Station, father.

Jimmy: When I considered the implications

of my father's act,

anger gave way to confusion.

Middle-aged men didn't go around

screwing their wives' friends without some kind of reason.

Or did they?

Maybe father was neglected at home.

Maybe when he bellowed about soggy hot dogs,

he was really saying, "Look at me.

I need to be loved."

[instrumental music]

When I thought about it,

I hadn't been much of a son.

And perhaps father turned out this way

because I neglected some of my responsibilities.

You know, I've been thinking maybe it's not such a bad idea

you going to Hawaii.

Even though you didn't show

much consideration for your mother

with that note that you left.

You were planning on leaving this morning, weren't you?

I was.

Well, maybe I can swing a sports coat if you need one.

Thanks anyway, I'm not going.

[brakes squealing]

[instrumental music]

Jimmy: It was sort of funny when you thought about it.

Here we were, a couple of father-and-son attitudes

as far apart as we were familiar.

Poking and prodding at one another,

but never touching.

And now, all at once, we were men together.

Of course, we would still play at being attitudes

as far as the family was concerned,

but as far as father and son were concerned,

well, it seemed that me and my old man

had finally gotten to the same place at the same time.

Dad, I want you to know

that I appreciate your thoughts about Hawaii...

but I, I think that family tradition

has to start somewhere.

I'm going to McKinley College.

Jimmy: It sure made me feel good to say it...

hell, I might even do it.

[instrumental music]

♪ I used to smoke ♪

♪ I used to drink ♪

♪ I used to smoke drink ♪

♪ And dance the hoochy-coo ♪

♪ I used to smoke and drink ♪

♪ Smoke and drink and dance the hoochy-coo ♪

♪ Oh-oh yeah ♪

♪ But now I'm standin' on this corner ♪

♪ Praying for me and you ♪

♪ I-I-I ♪

♪ That's why I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout a kingdom come ♪

♪ You know I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ Well I can preach until you're deaf and dumb ♪

♪ I'm in that soul saving army ♪

♪ Beating on that big bass drum ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ I used to cuss ♪

♪ I used to fuss ♪

♪ I used to cuss fuss ♪

♪ And boogie all night long ♪

♪ I used to cuss and fuss ♪

♪ Cuss and fuss and boogie all night long ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ But now I'm standing on this corner ♪

♪ I know right from wrong ♪

♪ I-I-I ♪

♪ Because I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout a kingdom come ♪

♪ You know I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I can preach until you're deaf and dumb ♪

♪ I'm in that soul saving army ♪

♪ Beating on that big bass drum ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ I used to lie ♪ ♪ Lie ♪

♪ I used to cheat ♪ ♪ Cheat ♪

♪ I used to lie cheat ♪ ♪ Lie cheat ♪

♪ And step on people's feet ♪

♪ I used to lie and cheat ♪

♪ Lie and cheat and step on people's feet ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ But now I'm stepping on to glory ♪

♪ Salvation is in my beat ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Because I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout a kingdom come ♪

♪ You know I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I can preach until you're deaf and dumb ♪

♪ I'm in that soul saving army ♪

♪ Beating on that big bass drum ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ That's why I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout a kingdom come ♪

♪ You know I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I can preach until you're deaf and dumb ♪

♪ I'm in that soul saving army ♪

♪ Beating on that big bass drum ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Because I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ People let me tell you 'bout a kingdom come ♪

♪ You know I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I can preach until you're deaf and dumb ♪

♪ I'm in that soul saving army ♪

♪ Beating on that big bass drum ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ That's why I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ Mm-hm ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ Mm-hm-hm ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ Oh-ha-hah ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ Oo-oo-ooh ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ Ah-ha-hah ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ Oh-ho ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ Oh-ho ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ I'm saved ♪ ♪ Saved ♪

♪ Saved... ♪