All language subtitles for 2x19 - Joey and the Critic.ENG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,459 --> 00:00:03,222 A toast to my movie opening. 2 00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:05,919 It's gonna be great to see it in a theater full of real fans... 3 00:00:06,097 --> 00:00:08,258 ...surrounded by the people closest to me. 4 00:00:08,433 --> 00:00:09,764 Hear, hear. 5 00:00:12,904 --> 00:00:14,098 I forgot. 6 00:00:14,272 --> 00:00:17,036 I'm a recovering alcoholic. 7 00:00:18,743 --> 00:00:20,643 What can you do? 8 00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:22,943 I have some other huge news. 9 00:00:23,114 --> 00:00:26,675 Bobbie just closed a three-picture deal with Warner Bros. For me. 10 00:00:26,851 --> 00:00:28,148 Joey, that's awesome. 11 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:31,015 Great, Joe. How much did it cost for you to sell your soul? 12 00:00:31,189 --> 00:00:33,589 This from a guy who just sold his sperm for $25? 13 00:00:33,758 --> 00:00:35,658 Hey, you know, they originally offered 20. 14 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:38,057 You gotta be willing to walk away. Am I right, Alex? 15 00:00:39,063 --> 00:00:42,123 I think it's great. They're gonna let him pick out his own movie projects. 16 00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:44,825 Yeah, I get an office, I get to hire a development executive. 17 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,334 I got my own production company. 18 00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:48,631 I'm gonna call it Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions. 19 00:00:48,806 --> 00:00:51,104 Because if you take all the letters in "Joey Tribbiani"... 20 00:00:51,276 --> 00:00:53,403 ...and you rearrange them, that's what you get. 21 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:54,971 Wait. 22 00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:58,949 No, you don't. There's no S in your name. There's no D, there's no M. 23 00:01:01,419 --> 00:01:03,182 That's your opinion, isn't it? 24 00:01:04,589 --> 00:01:05,851 When someone calls the office... 25 00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,083 ...my development executive's gonna answer the phone: 26 00:01:08,259 --> 00:01:09,692 "Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions. " 27 00:01:13,398 --> 00:01:14,524 Why? 28 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:17,065 Because that's my catch phrase. I say it all the time. 29 00:01:17,235 --> 00:01:19,465 Any time I walk in or out of a room. 30 00:01:19,637 --> 00:01:21,229 - You've never said that. - Yeah. 31 00:01:21,406 --> 00:01:23,533 - You don't... - I've never heard that. 32 00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:26,871 Really? Because I'm always thinking it. 33 00:01:27,912 --> 00:01:30,039 Let's get to the theater. I hate missing previews. 34 00:01:30,214 --> 00:01:31,909 All right, here we go: 35 00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:34,643 Don't start now. 36 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:42,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 37 00:02:07,852 --> 00:02:08,944 That was... That was amazing. 38 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:10,815 I mean, the audience was so into it, right? 39 00:02:10,989 --> 00:02:13,287 I gotta tell you, that was one sophisticated action movie. 40 00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:16,154 I loved the twist at the end when the old guy gives you the locket... 41 00:02:16,327 --> 00:02:18,022 ...and you learn he's your father. 42 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,363 My father? 43 00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,499 What movie were you watching? 44 00:02:23,301 --> 00:02:26,065 It's the same guy as the photo of your dad from the beginning. 45 00:02:27,672 --> 00:02:29,139 Oh, my God. 46 00:02:31,142 --> 00:02:32,734 - That means that his wife was... - Yes. 47 00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:34,400 Oh, my God. 48 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,416 What? No. 49 00:02:39,584 --> 00:02:41,142 Yeah, no. 50 00:02:42,587 --> 00:02:44,953 This new job at the mall. I gotta pick up an extra shift. 51 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:46,818 My new boss has it in for me. 52 00:02:46,991 --> 00:02:49,983 - Oh, what's he mad about this time? - I blew off work to see this movie. 53 00:02:50,161 --> 00:02:51,492 Jimmy, you didn't have to do that. 54 00:02:51,662 --> 00:02:53,562 Not your movie. I saw Capote this afternoon. 55 00:02:57,068 --> 00:03:00,663 Poor Jimmy. He's so brilliant but he keeps getting stuck in stupid jobs... 56 00:03:00,838 --> 00:03:02,863 ...and screwing up because he's miserable there. 57 00:03:03,708 --> 00:03:05,300 Wait a second. 58 00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:06,738 I should hire him. 59 00:03:06,911 --> 00:03:09,402 I love Jimmy. He should be my development exec. 60 00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:13,107 He's the smartest guy I know. He's a genius when it comes to movies. 61 00:03:13,284 --> 00:03:16,879 You saw the way he figured out the old man was my dad. 62 00:03:17,055 --> 00:03:19,956 Joey, it was you in old-man makeup. 63 00:03:30,535 --> 00:03:31,559 Hey, Jimmy. 64 00:03:31,736 --> 00:03:33,328 - How's it going, you got a sec? - Hi, Joe. 65 00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:36,962 You come to see me or the store's curiously nipply mannequins? 66 00:03:37,141 --> 00:03:38,802 No, no. Look, come on. 67 00:03:38,976 --> 00:03:40,170 You're wasting your time here. 68 00:03:40,344 --> 00:03:42,972 How about you come and work with me at my production company? 69 00:03:43,147 --> 00:03:45,672 That'd be cool. I don't think I should leave this job. 70 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,442 I found I have a real knack for retail. 71 00:03:47,618 --> 00:03:49,916 Excuse me? How do I look in this? 72 00:03:50,088 --> 00:03:51,817 - Is it for work or leisure? - It's for work. 73 00:03:51,989 --> 00:03:54,549 What's your job? You a fat prostitute? 74 00:03:57,895 --> 00:03:59,385 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 75 00:03:59,564 --> 00:04:01,464 Look, come on, huh? Lt'd be fun. 76 00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:05,227 Like when we were 10, only now it won't be weird that you have a beard. 77 00:04:05,736 --> 00:04:07,294 - You really wanna hire me? - Yeah. 78 00:04:07,472 --> 00:04:09,963 You're someone I trust. You're the smartest guy I know. 79 00:04:10,141 --> 00:04:11,768 I need you. 80 00:04:11,943 --> 00:04:13,672 I have to admit it sounds pretty good. 81 00:04:13,845 --> 00:04:15,073 But I don't want any charity. 82 00:04:15,246 --> 00:04:17,441 I wanna interview for the job just like everybody else. 83 00:04:17,615 --> 00:04:18,912 - You got it. - Okay. 84 00:04:19,083 --> 00:04:20,675 You're not wrong about these mannequins. 85 00:04:20,852 --> 00:04:23,218 Yeah, that's an actual woman, Joe. 86 00:04:24,088 --> 00:04:27,819 Then I got some apologizing to do. On the way in, I stuck gum on her. 87 00:04:34,999 --> 00:04:37,399 I guess I'll have to replace this. 88 00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:44,435 Oh, my God. It's happening. 89 00:04:46,611 --> 00:04:49,842 Alex, it's Joey. He's doing it. Get over here. 90 00:04:53,151 --> 00:04:55,711 - Oh, hey, Michael. - Hey. 91 00:04:56,554 --> 00:04:58,146 Here we go. 92 00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:55,911 If anybody wants any water, it's all set. 93 00:05:57,915 --> 00:06:01,078 That was the best one ever. 94 00:06:02,386 --> 00:06:05,412 I really needed that this morning. I've been in kind of a funk. 95 00:06:05,590 --> 00:06:07,353 Why? What's going on? 96 00:06:08,226 --> 00:06:10,194 Dean and I broke up. 97 00:06:10,361 --> 00:06:13,455 - Oh, Alex. - Yeah, I'm sorry. 98 00:06:13,631 --> 00:06:15,258 She's single. This is your chance. 99 00:06:15,433 --> 00:06:18,266 - Get, get, get. - Oh, honey, tell me what happened. 100 00:06:18,436 --> 00:06:19,767 Well, it's kind of a bummer. 101 00:06:19,937 --> 00:06:23,703 But I guess it was inevitable because he was just always so... 102 00:06:25,776 --> 00:06:31,078 - Anyway, you okay, huh? Here. - Yeah, I will be. Oh, thanks. 103 00:06:31,249 --> 00:06:33,444 Look, I want you to know, you need anything at all... 104 00:06:33,618 --> 00:06:35,916 ...and I mean anything, I am right here. 105 00:06:36,087 --> 00:06:37,714 I'm so glad you said that. 106 00:06:37,888 --> 00:06:40,083 I know you've been thinking about us getting together... 107 00:06:40,258 --> 00:06:41,953 ...and I've been thinking about it too... 108 00:06:42,126 --> 00:06:45,618 ...but what I really need right now is a friend so... 109 00:06:48,899 --> 00:06:51,595 - Wow. Thank you, Joey. - Is that okay? 110 00:06:52,470 --> 00:06:53,664 - Joey, check this out. - Yeah. 111 00:06:53,838 --> 00:06:56,136 This is a site where people rate movies after seeing them. 112 00:06:56,307 --> 00:06:57,433 People are loving your movie. 113 00:06:57,608 --> 00:07:00,600 On a scale from one to 10, it's getting an average rating of 9.7. 114 00:07:00,778 --> 00:07:02,905 - Wow. - That's so exciting. 115 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,310 Wait, someone gave it a zero. 116 00:07:05,516 --> 00:07:06,540 What didn't he like? 117 00:07:07,285 --> 00:07:09,549 "Joey Tribbiani is the worst actor ever. " 118 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:10,812 Me? 119 00:07:10,988 --> 00:07:13,684 He didn't like me? Click on that guy's link. 120 00:07:13,858 --> 00:07:16,588 He's got his own website. It's coming up. 121 00:07:17,528 --> 00:07:20,861 "JoeyTribbianiSucks. Com"? 122 00:07:21,432 --> 00:07:24,924 That settles it. I'm getting a computer. 123 00:07:25,102 --> 00:07:26,296 Oh, my God. 124 00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:28,404 "Lame shows. Lame girlfriends. " 125 00:07:28,572 --> 00:07:29,596 What's this? 126 00:07:29,774 --> 00:07:32,402 "Joey's Confession. " Click on that. 127 00:07:32,576 --> 00:07:34,510 - I pick... - My nose! 128 00:07:34,679 --> 00:07:36,306 - And? - Eat it! 129 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,641 - I pick... - My nose! 130 00:07:38,816 --> 00:07:40,681 - And? - Eat it! 131 00:07:41,352 --> 00:07:44,048 Each one of those clips was from a different part I played. 132 00:07:44,221 --> 00:07:47,622 To put this together, he had to watch everything I've ever done. 133 00:07:48,159 --> 00:07:50,684 We're dealing with a madman. 134 00:07:56,967 --> 00:07:58,025 Hi. Hey. 135 00:07:58,202 --> 00:08:00,193 So glad you're here. This is gonna be great. 136 00:08:00,371 --> 00:08:03,101 Remember, I only want this job if I can earn it, fair and square. 137 00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:05,401 Right, "fair and square. " 138 00:08:05,576 --> 00:08:07,510 Good morning, everyone. 139 00:08:10,247 --> 00:08:13,273 Oh, hi. Hey, could you wait outside with the other candidates? 140 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:16,215 - Just... - No, I'm sitting in on the meetings. L... 141 00:08:16,387 --> 00:08:17,411 I'm Trent. 142 00:08:17,588 --> 00:08:18,680 From the studio. 143 00:08:18,856 --> 00:08:20,414 Senior V.P. Of Development. 144 00:08:20,925 --> 00:08:22,586 Oh, hey, great to meet you. 145 00:08:23,027 --> 00:08:25,154 We've met 30 times. 146 00:08:25,329 --> 00:08:28,025 Oh, I'm sorry. But don't take it personally. 147 00:08:28,199 --> 00:08:31,726 Yesterday I had a meeting with a guy who said he's like met me 29 times. 148 00:08:33,871 --> 00:08:35,065 Okay, let's get started. 149 00:08:39,110 --> 00:08:40,372 James Costa. 150 00:08:41,212 --> 00:08:42,543 - How you doing? - Hi. 151 00:08:42,713 --> 00:08:44,544 - How you doing? - Good. 152 00:08:45,716 --> 00:08:48,014 So tell us a little something about yourself, Mr. Costa. 153 00:08:48,185 --> 00:08:49,777 I just moved to the West Coast. 154 00:08:49,954 --> 00:08:52,582 I'm seeking employment in the entertainment industry. 155 00:08:52,757 --> 00:08:55,885 It would be an honor to work at Warner Bros., with its rich pedigree... 156 00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:59,689 ...of such films as Casablanca and The Maltese Falcon. 157 00:09:00,631 --> 00:09:03,532 Okay. Your r�sum� ends after high school. 158 00:09:03,701 --> 00:09:06,568 I'm sorry, are my papers not in order, Herr Kommandant? 159 00:09:08,038 --> 00:09:10,165 What Trent meant was it'd be nice to know... 160 00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,070 ...what you've been up to since then. 161 00:09:12,243 --> 00:09:14,973 That's a fair question, Trent. 162 00:09:16,247 --> 00:09:17,942 It's been a bit of a rough ride, you know? 163 00:09:18,115 --> 00:09:19,810 You know, there were some setbacks. 164 00:09:19,984 --> 00:09:21,383 You know... 165 00:09:21,685 --> 00:09:23,710 ...mainly because Hector set me up, man! 166 00:09:26,223 --> 00:09:27,520 Okay, you know what? 167 00:09:27,691 --> 00:09:29,852 - Can you wait outside for a second? - Yeah. 168 00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:31,688 - That would be great, Mr. Costa. - Yeah. 169 00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:33,656 - Out of my chair! - Okay. 170 00:09:37,902 --> 00:09:40,462 I think we found our guy. 171 00:09:45,342 --> 00:09:47,572 I hacked into JoeyTribbianiSucks. Com. 172 00:09:47,745 --> 00:09:50,236 I got the guy's address. It is the work of one Gary Spindler. 173 00:09:50,414 --> 00:09:51,676 He lives right in L.A. 174 00:09:51,849 --> 00:09:52,975 - Really? - Yeah. 175 00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:56,950 Know what? Maybe I'll go pay Mr. Gary Spindler a little visit. 176 00:09:57,354 --> 00:10:00,812 Wow, Joey, I love the new office. 177 00:10:01,592 --> 00:10:05,528 It's spacious and elegantly furnished. 178 00:10:05,696 --> 00:10:08,460 But you know what you could use? 179 00:10:10,468 --> 00:10:11,935 You got one. 180 00:10:13,771 --> 00:10:15,068 - Has Jimmy shown up yet? - Not yet. 181 00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:17,070 He was a little shaky in his interview... 182 00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:19,106 ...and now he's late for his first day. 183 00:10:19,276 --> 00:10:21,642 Well, you need to set the tone with a new employee. 184 00:10:21,812 --> 00:10:23,370 You gotta keep them in line. 185 00:10:23,547 --> 00:10:25,105 No. 186 00:10:26,217 --> 00:10:27,309 She hits you? 187 00:10:27,485 --> 00:10:29,885 It's okay. I hit her back. 188 00:10:33,123 --> 00:10:34,147 - Hey, guys. - Hey, Jimmy. 189 00:10:34,325 --> 00:10:37,488 Jim, look, if you're gonna be working here, you gotta be on time. 190 00:10:37,661 --> 00:10:40,357 What? I've been here since 6. I just went out to get coffee. 191 00:10:40,531 --> 00:10:42,795 - What? - Yeah. I finished reading these scripts. 192 00:10:42,967 --> 00:10:44,958 I found a couple that might be good for you. 193 00:10:45,135 --> 00:10:46,159 Take a look at those. 194 00:10:46,337 --> 00:10:48,805 Read my notes. I set up meetings with writers and directors. 195 00:10:48,973 --> 00:10:51,168 We're gonna find something great for you. 196 00:10:52,910 --> 00:10:54,468 Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions. 197 00:10:57,781 --> 00:10:59,544 Okay, Trent. Yeah, pencil us in for tomorrow. 198 00:10:59,717 --> 00:11:01,116 Okay, all right, babe. 199 00:11:01,852 --> 00:11:04,844 Jimmy. Wow, I gotta say, I am impressed. 200 00:11:05,022 --> 00:11:07,149 This is a whole new you. 201 00:11:07,324 --> 00:11:10,259 I take this job seriously. I'm excited about things we're gonna accomplish. 202 00:11:10,427 --> 00:11:12,520 In fact, we got a lot of work to do. Everybody out. 203 00:11:14,265 --> 00:11:16,062 - See you. - Hey, you guys wanna go ride bikes? 204 00:11:16,233 --> 00:11:18,758 Not you. 205 00:11:18,936 --> 00:11:21,734 Come on, Joe, stop messing around. Let's get to work. 206 00:11:21,906 --> 00:11:23,339 You're being a little intense. 207 00:11:23,507 --> 00:11:25,475 - Oh, I'm being a little intense. - Yeah. 208 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,701 Have a seat, okay? 209 00:11:26,877 --> 00:11:28,401 This is the first job in 20 years... 210 00:11:28,579 --> 00:11:30,638 ...where I haven't had to wash or fold something... 211 00:11:30,814 --> 00:11:33,840 ...or swallow something and get on a plane, okay? 212 00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:37,318 I finally got a shot to use my brain. To use my creativity. 213 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,150 So you tell me something, all right? Am I too intense, huh? Am I? 214 00:11:40,791 --> 00:11:44,318 Or am I an employee who cares so deeply about Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions... 215 00:11:44,495 --> 00:11:46,895 ...that I got it tattooed on my ass? 216 00:11:55,372 --> 00:11:56,566 - Gary Spindler? - Yes. 217 00:11:56,740 --> 00:11:57,764 - Can I help you? - Yeah. 218 00:11:57,942 --> 00:12:00,274 You can look me in the face and tell me I suck. 219 00:12:00,778 --> 00:12:02,803 - Sorry, I don't know who you are. - Oh, really? 220 00:12:02,980 --> 00:12:05,540 You don't wanna tell me that I suck? Okay, we'll start small then. 221 00:12:05,716 --> 00:12:07,547 Why don't you tell me about how I pick my butt? 222 00:12:07,718 --> 00:12:09,686 Or eat my boogers? 223 00:12:11,155 --> 00:12:13,919 Sir, I really don't know what you're talking about. 224 00:12:14,091 --> 00:12:15,353 Seriously? 225 00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,357 Do you not run the website? 226 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,553 Who's at the door, Daddy? 227 00:12:19,763 --> 00:12:21,890 - Joey Tribbiani? - You know this man? 228 00:12:22,066 --> 00:12:24,534 Yeah, he sucks. 229 00:12:29,473 --> 00:12:33,534 So. Turns out the guy who hates me is an 11-year-old girl. 230 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,303 Really? What'd you say to her? 231 00:12:35,479 --> 00:12:37,276 I told her she should get to know the real me. 232 00:12:37,448 --> 00:12:41,248 So I took her out for the afternoon. I charmed the pants... I charmed her. 233 00:12:45,489 --> 00:12:47,116 Hello? Oh, hey, Jimmy. 234 00:12:47,291 --> 00:12:49,156 - I'm not here. - Sorry, no, Joey's not here. 235 00:12:49,326 --> 00:12:51,294 It's just me and my mom. 236 00:12:53,097 --> 00:12:55,395 Striped shirt and very tight skirt. 237 00:12:56,767 --> 00:12:58,758 I'm not gonna ask her that, but if I had to guess... 238 00:12:58,936 --> 00:13:00,494 ...she probably is good to go, yeah. 239 00:13:00,671 --> 00:13:02,502 He guessed right, honey. 240 00:13:02,673 --> 00:13:04,197 Gotta go, see you later. 241 00:13:05,943 --> 00:13:07,433 - Are you avoiding Jimmy? - Yeah. 242 00:13:07,611 --> 00:13:10,444 He is totally obsessed with this job. 243 00:13:10,614 --> 00:13:12,514 We have this general get-to-know-you meeting... 244 00:13:12,683 --> 00:13:15,584 ...with the studio this week and he made me sit there for hours... 245 00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:18,278 ...while we came up with a 10-year plan for the company. 246 00:13:18,455 --> 00:13:20,446 - Isn't that good? - No. It's too much. 247 00:13:20,624 --> 00:13:22,216 He says we're gonna start with movies. 248 00:13:22,393 --> 00:13:25,487 Then we gotta buy a cable network, and cellular towers. 249 00:13:25,663 --> 00:13:28,188 I just want creative control over my films... 250 00:13:28,365 --> 00:13:31,698 ...so that I can cast women with big bazoingas. 251 00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:35,097 - Hey, guys. - Hey, what's going on? 252 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:38,139 Oh, I just got back from Dean's. Picking up all my stuff. 253 00:13:38,308 --> 00:13:39,775 Oh, I'm sorry. 254 00:13:39,943 --> 00:13:42,434 You wanna come over and watch a movie? I could use the company. 255 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:45,377 - Yeah, sure. Anything you need, pal. - Okay. 256 00:13:50,354 --> 00:13:53,016 Must be hard having to be her shoulder to cry on, huh? 257 00:13:53,190 --> 00:13:55,158 I know. It's driving me crazy. 258 00:13:55,325 --> 00:13:56,986 Hey Joey, I just checked the website. 259 00:13:57,161 --> 00:13:59,527 - That girl's attacking you more than ever. - What? 260 00:13:59,697 --> 00:14:01,562 Yeah, look, she's got a new audio file too. 261 00:14:01,732 --> 00:14:04,701 I wanna kiss boys for money! 262 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:09,295 I mean, she is a really good editor. 263 00:14:09,873 --> 00:14:12,899 That's not an edit. That's the way I read the line. 264 00:14:20,984 --> 00:14:22,747 Mr. Spindler, I'm the guy from the Internet. 265 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,083 I was wondering if I could spend time alone with your daughter. 266 00:14:26,523 --> 00:14:28,684 Kaley, Joey's here. 267 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:33,160 You two have a great time. I'm gonna take a walk around the block. 268 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:39,894 What do you want? 269 00:14:40,070 --> 00:14:41,264 I saw your website. 270 00:14:41,438 --> 00:14:42,462 Pretty mean, Kaley. 271 00:14:42,639 --> 00:14:44,607 Or should I say, "Kay-Lame"? 272 00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:46,199 What are you doing? 273 00:14:46,376 --> 00:14:48,401 If you think it's so cool to make fun of people... 274 00:14:48,579 --> 00:14:50,774 ...maybe I should come down here and make fun of you. 275 00:14:50,948 --> 00:14:52,677 Nice bedspread, Holly Hobby. 276 00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:54,875 Yeah? Well, nice braided belt. 277 00:14:55,953 --> 00:14:58,615 My mom gave me this. 278 00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:00,417 Hey, you must be Amanda. 279 00:15:00,591 --> 00:15:04,550 So, Amanda, fart in science much? 280 00:15:05,763 --> 00:15:08,095 - Why don't you just shut up? - You started this. 281 00:15:08,265 --> 00:15:09,630 Why do you hate me so much anyway? 282 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,267 Was my movie really that bad? 283 00:15:11,435 --> 00:15:13,699 I never even saw your stupid movie. 284 00:15:14,338 --> 00:15:15,930 - You didn't? - No. 285 00:15:16,106 --> 00:15:17,903 But Brad did. 286 00:15:18,475 --> 00:15:19,806 Who's Brad? 287 00:15:19,977 --> 00:15:21,842 Only, like, your biggest fan in the world. 288 00:15:22,012 --> 00:15:24,071 He couldn't care less about me. But you... 289 00:15:24,248 --> 00:15:26,512 He dresses like you. He has your poster in his locker. 290 00:15:26,683 --> 00:15:27,911 He worships you. 291 00:15:28,085 --> 00:15:31,486 Well, tell him to get my action figure because they're not selling so good. 292 00:15:32,656 --> 00:15:37,025 Look, every time I see your face in a magazine, on a billboard... 293 00:15:37,194 --> 00:15:38,252 ...I think of him. 294 00:15:38,428 --> 00:15:41,295 It's not enough we have to see each other every day at school. 295 00:15:41,465 --> 00:15:44,059 And we have all the same friends. 296 00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,258 Friends. That's... 297 00:15:45,435 --> 00:15:48,165 That's all I am to him. Just another friend. 298 00:15:50,374 --> 00:15:53,775 What would you say if I told you I had the same exact problem you do? 299 00:15:53,944 --> 00:15:54,968 Yeah, right. 300 00:15:55,145 --> 00:15:57,306 Her name's Alex, okay? She's my neighbor. 301 00:15:57,481 --> 00:16:01,349 I am crazy about her and she just wants to be my friend. 302 00:16:01,518 --> 00:16:02,746 - Really? - Yeah. 303 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,411 So every time the phone rings, do you hope it's gonna be her? 304 00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:07,454 - Totally. - And do you ever forget about her... 305 00:16:07,624 --> 00:16:09,922 ...and then run into her and you're totally obsessed again? 306 00:16:10,093 --> 00:16:11,993 Oh, yeah. So I go out, have a few drinks... 307 00:16:12,162 --> 00:16:16,098 ...and find a girl who looks just like her and then I... So you're 11? 308 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:21,636 I even made this incredible collage for him with all these pictures we were in together. 309 00:16:21,805 --> 00:16:24,171 I gave it to him in homeroom and he just left it there. 310 00:16:24,341 --> 00:16:25,808 Yeah. 311 00:16:25,976 --> 00:16:28,501 And a collage is like the nicest thing you can give someone. 312 00:16:28,679 --> 00:16:31,614 Well, hey, if it makes you feel any better, I think Brad is an idiot. 313 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:35,047 Yeah, well, I think Alex is a jerk and I hate her for not liking you. 314 00:16:35,719 --> 00:16:37,277 Well, thanks, Kaley. 315 00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:38,716 You're actually pretty cool. 316 00:16:39,489 --> 00:16:41,150 You are too. 317 00:16:41,325 --> 00:16:43,623 Look, I'm sorry about the stuff I put on the website. 318 00:16:44,661 --> 00:16:46,322 That's okay. 319 00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:50,323 Hey. 320 00:16:50,734 --> 00:16:52,133 Who's up for pizza? 321 00:16:52,569 --> 00:16:54,696 I am. Yeah. 322 00:17:00,344 --> 00:17:02,278 Joe, where the hell you been? Trent's in there. 323 00:17:02,446 --> 00:17:05,176 - Will you relax? It's gonna be fine. - It's not gonna be fine. 324 00:17:05,349 --> 00:17:08,477 You were supposed to meet me at 4 a. m. At Starbucks to go over ideas. 325 00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:12,179 - They're not even open at 4. - I said I'd bring coffee. 326 00:17:14,124 --> 00:17:15,216 Great, you're here. 327 00:17:15,392 --> 00:17:17,485 - Let's begin. - Okay. 328 00:17:19,763 --> 00:17:22,527 So. Just stopped by to say welcome aboard. 329 00:17:22,699 --> 00:17:25,532 Great, well we're just real happy to be here... 330 00:17:25,802 --> 00:17:27,133 If you'd met me this morning... 331 00:17:27,304 --> 00:17:29,932 ...you would've known that's the worst thing you could've said. 332 00:17:30,607 --> 00:17:33,371 - Is there something you'd like to add? - Yes. 333 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,141 How would you feel... 334 00:17:35,312 --> 00:17:39,840 ...if we could make this studio a cool $200 billion? 335 00:17:41,618 --> 00:17:43,176 How would you propose to do that? 336 00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:48,052 Here's the progression: Synergies, branding, marketing... 337 00:17:48,225 --> 00:17:50,386 ...and a democratic Iran. 338 00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:54,861 I'm sorry, that's just a little... 339 00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:58,900 Do you not know the word "crazy," or are you just afraid to say it? 340 00:17:59,403 --> 00:18:00,961 So this is it? This is the power play? 341 00:18:01,138 --> 00:18:03,936 This is where you take over Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions? 342 00:18:04,107 --> 00:18:06,234 I am Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions. 343 00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:08,935 And we are supposed to make movies. Just movies, Jim. 344 00:18:09,112 --> 00:18:11,103 Not tanks to sell to Eastern Europe. 345 00:18:11,281 --> 00:18:15,377 You know damn well the military arm isn't operational until 2012. 346 00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:17,315 You are totally out of control. 347 00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:19,921 And you got no vision. You got a chance to do something huge. 348 00:18:20,090 --> 00:18:22,888 - Don't you want to do something huge? - No, I don't, Jim. 349 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,585 I wanna be lazy and hang out, okay? 350 00:18:25,762 --> 00:18:27,423 I wanna waste all the studio's money... 351 00:18:27,597 --> 00:18:30,031 ...on expensive lunches and ridiculous gifts. 352 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,101 I wanna squeeze this place for as much as possible... 353 00:18:33,270 --> 00:18:35,670 ...and do as little as I can get away with. 354 00:18:35,839 --> 00:18:38,774 Hey, man, don't tell Trent about this, that guy's a real tool. 355 00:18:40,377 --> 00:18:42,072 Okay, another great meeting. 356 00:18:42,245 --> 00:18:44,770 By the way, I'm Trent. 357 00:18:47,751 --> 00:18:50,982 What? Is everybody at the studio named Trent? 358 00:18:53,557 --> 00:18:57,493 "Hollyweird," huh? They do not like Italians. 359 00:18:57,794 --> 00:18:59,489 I don't think that was the problem. 360 00:18:59,663 --> 00:19:02,154 Okay, look... All right, I'm gonna cut to the chase, Jim. 361 00:19:02,332 --> 00:19:04,800 - I don't think this is working out. - I know. We keep clashing. 362 00:19:04,968 --> 00:19:09,769 Yeah, so maybe it's time one of us left Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions. 363 00:19:14,811 --> 00:19:16,642 I guess you're right. L... 364 00:19:21,852 --> 00:19:25,288 - It ain't gonna be the same without you. - Yeah... I wasn't talking about me. 365 00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:28,113 I see. Okay. 366 00:19:28,291 --> 00:19:31,954 Jim, I'm sorry it didn't work out, but I think this is best for our friendship. 367 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,187 You're probably right. 368 00:19:34,398 --> 00:19:36,229 - All right. - All right. 369 00:19:36,900 --> 00:19:40,358 You mind if I get that, you know, one last time, for old times' sake? 370 00:19:40,537 --> 00:19:42,266 - Sure, yeah. - All right. 371 00:19:43,774 --> 00:19:45,799 Yes-I-Am-a-Bird Productions. 372 00:19:47,444 --> 00:19:49,435 No, I'm sorry, we're... 373 00:19:49,613 --> 00:19:51,672 We're not gonna be able to go there. 374 00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:54,717 Go where? 375 00:19:54,885 --> 00:19:55,909 Space, Joe. 376 00:19:56,086 --> 00:19:57,951 The final frontier. 377 00:20:01,725 --> 00:20:03,716 I wanna go to space. 378 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:13,402 I know you've been feeling down lately, so I have something for you. 379 00:20:17,974 --> 00:20:19,373 - It's a collage. - Yeah. 380 00:20:19,543 --> 00:20:20,601 The theme is "Good Times. " 381 00:20:20,777 --> 00:20:23,075 I glued pictures of the two of us together... 382 00:20:23,246 --> 00:20:25,305 ...in different places that I'd like to go with you. 383 00:20:25,482 --> 00:20:28,178 Like the Grand Canyon, Paris, Venice... 384 00:20:28,552 --> 00:20:31,988 Where is this? We're standing next to a giant scented candle? 385 00:20:32,155 --> 00:20:36,649 Yeah, I ran out of good pictures, so I had to use the Pottery Barn catalog. 386 00:20:37,461 --> 00:20:40,453 Wow, us in London? That looks like fun. 387 00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:42,996 That's a really good picture of us. 388 00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:45,495 We look really good together. 389 00:20:46,570 --> 00:20:48,333 Well, I don't know what to say. 390 00:20:48,505 --> 00:20:51,338 Joey, this is really sweet. What made you think to do this? 391 00:20:51,508 --> 00:20:56,673 Alex, everyone knows a collage is the nicest thing you can do for someone. 392 00:20:58,248 --> 00:20:59,306 Well, thank you. 393 00:20:59,483 --> 00:21:01,474 I really love it. 394 00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:06,048 - I'll see you later. - Okay. 395 00:21:14,264 --> 00:21:16,095 Kaley, hey, it's Joey. 396 00:21:16,266 --> 00:21:20,965 Okay, I just gave it to her. I think she is starting to "like me" like me. 397 00:21:22,506 --> 00:21:25,407 Okay, hey, so what happened with Brad in school today? 398 00:21:25,575 --> 00:21:29,136 No way. He did not. 399 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,807 Michael, I'm on the phone. God! 400 00:21:34,305 --> 00:22:34,802 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 32083

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