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Ladies and gentlemen and welcome to

our cinematic event of Space Boobs In Space.

I am Zee Zee Poof and we are here to watch

the historical dramatization of a very important event.

We are here tonight with the director,

with the led actress and for cultural context,

the one and only Grand Muff Tit.

It's going to be an amazing evening,

stay tuned for Space Boobs In Space

and we'll be right back.

Citizens of Iralane, my daughter has

sent back mission reports from her expedition

to the planet Earth, home of that glorious

natural resource, the titty.

As we await her return,

I council patience.

This voyage promises a future in which no

Iralanian will be without the milk of the human breast.

No longer will we rely on the antiquated

filtration systems that harvest the unsuitable

nectar of the breasts of our home world.

Be strong and stand together.

We will yet bathe in the fountain of their teats.

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Don't hear me walking

♪ Don't you leave me hungry

♪ Oh don't you leave me famished

♪ Oh don't you leave me empty handed

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

Yes, Vizier, what news?

Well, Your Majesty, um,

your daughter has not yet returned from her mission and

her charges died and

her cargo was spoiled due to space bacteria.

Indeed.

Why, why must the precious milk of the titty

be so vulnerable to space bacteria?

Vizier, we are not alone.

Yes, yes Your Majesty.

Of course, Your Majesty.

Send a shuttle for the Princess.

It's already been sent.

And what are our alternate plans?

I've had

something going for awhile now.

I sent a beacon out

with our coordinates,

also a little music,

humans are very susceptible to lures.

Hopefully, some of them will find our beacon and

make their way here and we can

use them as specimens to create

our valuable milk of the titty.

Excellent,

report when you have further information.

You are dismissed.

Captain's log,

January 7th, 2092.

We are nearing the origin of the strange

message that has driven the space program

on our planet for the last 75 years.

It has been a long journey and First Mate Fonda

is eager to be on solid ground

and I can't say I blame her

but now that we are so close,

I am preoccupied with concern for the safety

of my crew and my ship.

We may be making the first contact

with an alien life form.

My next report will be from the surface of the

alien planet.

This is Captain Weaver, signing out.

Your Majesty, I have news to report.

Speak.

We have confirmed visual sighting

of a human spacecraft.

It would appear that the Grand Vizier's messages

have been effective.

The spacecraft has landed approximately

four farks into the wetlands.

I humbly request permission

to represent our government in greeting the crew.

Excellent,

take one of my guards,

go and see whether they can be interacted with safely

and assess their titties for viability.

Yes, Your Majesty.

So far this planet seems like a safe environment,

would you agree, Fonda?

I suspect everything, Captain.

These plants are alien life forms,

we do not know what the primary sentient life form is.

These rocks

could be life forms.

I don't think that rock sent us a series of notes

and a set of coordinates, Fonda.

Rocks may be living things

and even musically inclined on this planet.

That exterior could be a exoskeleton.

They may communicate

with music.

I know it seems safe,

but chances are pretty slim that we'll encounter

a recognizable bipedal form on this planet.

We must be prepared for everything, Captain.

Fine, you're the one that studied

theoretical extraterrestrial biology.

Rocks transmitting sounds, right.

♪ Do Re Me Fa So La Te Do

Oh my god, Fonda, look!

Greetings.

We are visitors,

do you have spoken language?

Do you understand us?

Greetings, Humans. I have been sent

to welcome you to our planet and escort you

to the palace immediately.

Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated.

Your hospitality is greatly appreciated,

we would like to learn more about your culture

before we travel from within the vicinity of our ship.

How far is the palace from here?

We are so happy to meet you.

I have been sent to welcome you to our planet

and escort you to the palace immediately.

Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated,

only the Queen can share information with you.

We don't know their ways,

culturally, this could be a huge misstep

to let the Goodwill Ambassador speak with us first

before the Queen does.

This could be the only way to precede with our mission.

Very well.

We will need more information on the distance

of the palace from our ship and a guarantee

that we will returned to our ship safely.

Thank you for your cooperation.

If you'll follow me this way

and I am not the Goodwill Ambassador,

I'm the Captain of the Guard,

what you would call military.

Welcome, you must now submit for examination.

We must make sure you're safe before

we take you into the presence of Her Majesty.

I can see that you are only doing your job

and as a gesture of goodwill, we will allow this.

Bring out Platypus.

Alright, that's enough,

you must be able to tell that

we aren't carrying any diseases and that

we have no hidden weapons.

This is ridiculous.

Very well,

I can tell that you are both healthy

and your titties appear to be viable candidates for

heavy production.

You must be very proud of this physical superiority.

I will take you to our Queen.

Your Majesty, I have brought you the viable human titties.

Now, see here.

Greetings, Human.

Please forgive the eager declaration of my military leader.

She is understandably moved by this historic moment.

You are dismissed, Captain.

Uh, well, yes,

the Federated Allied Government of Earth

sends their greet, did she say titties?

I-I think she said, I know she said titties.

Misinterpretation and miscommunication

is very common with two cultures that have first met.

I'm sorry, Your Majesty, but,

in our language, a titty is a part of the body.

Yes.

The breast, the teat,

you are both blessed with functioning mammary glands.

How joyous for you

and for us, my people are in great need of your milk.

My Grand Vizier will be looking forward

to meeting with you and she will give you more

information about your future with us.

Our future?

I see discussions have begun.

Vizier, you will speak with these breast bearers?

Which is a fascinating cultural anomaly, really.

I'll get this sorted out, ladies.

You're the leader?

Yes.

Come with me.

You should know that our government will not

negotiate with a government that uses aggressive tactics.

We will not have our milk taken forcibly.

Calm down, we're just here to talk.

Hypnotized subjects

don't respond well to milking and

the milk spoils.

We thought about milking farms,

but humans are so unwieldy.

Oh, that's true,

we make terrible cattle,

we are much more excitable than most...

Fonda!

Grand Vizier, we will need to know more

about your planet and the resources that

you have to offer.

Earth requires additional fuel sources and food.

We also need some new techniques in order

to clean our air and environment.

Yes, our research has shown us that your

natural environment is quite damaged.

We don't have the same problem here, of course,

but we cannot, due to our long lifespan,

long life is a tremendous motivator.

Long lifespan,

I would love to study your species,

that sounds really fascinating,

do you have any scientists that I could talk to?

Um, I mean like, just sit down for a day

or something.

Well, unlike your precious milk,

our own green breast nectar

has only horrible side effects.

We try to minimize skin contact with it, of course,

but it's difficult.

As a side effect, extends our life

and makes us invulnerable to

fine lines and wrinkles.

Your breasts

prevent aging and extend life?

Yes.

Woo.

It's terrible.

We have to minimize reproduction.

My grandmother and I seem to be about the same age.

Our Queen is about 800 of your Earth years.

I think we can arrange a trade agreement.

I look forward to their return.

They were nice for humans.

They had nice titties.

Captain's log, January 9th, 2092,

so much has happened.

We've made contact with an alien race

and developed a new trade partnership

that will most likely benefit

all the peoples on Earth.

The imports will change our entire way of life

and the circumstances, well,

I think that's something better outlined in person.

Hey, hey, hey.

We're gonna live forever.

Oh, okay, that's weird.

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Don't you leave me walking

♪ Don't you leave me hungry

♪ Don't you leave me stranded

♪ Don't you leave me empty handed

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

♪ Space boobs

I think I like it.

To living forever.

Yeah.

Cut.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back.

I hope you enjoyed Space Boobs In Space.

We are here with the Earth director,

human Earth Director, Andrew Shearer?

That's right, that's right, yeah.

He is a beautiful Earth man

and he directed this very important, historical

dramatization, I love drama.

Tell us, tell us what was

the most important part of making this film?

Boobs.

Well, thank you so much for this enlightening interview.

We have so many other interviews coming up.

Would you like to introduce them?

Sure.

A guy we had to do the interviews,

he shows up to the thing, he's drunk,

he's throwing up behind the couch,

made everybody sick, it's terrible.

So, um,

but what I got is some Foreign Press.

Some Foreign Press?

Yeah, he's a guy and I can't really

understand what he's saying but

the actors were great.

Everybody's gonna love it.

Okay, well get ready for this enlightening

interviews and we'll be right back with

the lead actress and the Grand Muff Tit is still

coming, she will be here too.

See you soon.

I'm here on the set of Space Boobs In Space.

I am here with the Coquette De Jour.

Bonjour.

And she's sewing her own costume, it appears.

Ms. De Jour, do you not have an assistant

who will make this for you?

You must do your own work on the set of this movie?

What is it like to make

a movie with the Americans?

Oh, um,

it is good,

they always ask me to do

ze American accent, so,

which I think is very weird but...

I don't, I don't like it but,

what can you tell us about the character

that you are playing in Space Boobs From Space?

Um, I am a scientist.

I study theoretical extraterrestrial biology.

I get very excited about culture and plants

and singing rocks.

Do you say something to your fans in Brazil?

Uh, I do not speak Brazilian.

I just gitsem.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back,

I hope you enjoyed it, the interviews.

I love hearing when people talk about

what they did on the film and on the set.

It just makes the film so much better.

Now, tell us, what did you think about

what they were saying,

what do you think about what actors

reflect on what they did with you?

Eh, I mean, no disrespect

but they're a bunch of assholes.

I see, assholes, I've heard of this.

Coming up next we have some of,

in honor, in honor of this historical moment,

between our cultures,

when they integrate.

This historical era in film,

we have earthlings from your country.

Hey, great.

Earth.

And we will be viewing,

ladies and gentlemen, enjoy.

♪ Quickzilla ghost

♪ Electric air

♪ Up on clouds

♪ Sky ocean shield

♪ Through the vision

♪ Rise of wheels

♪ Within the fields

♪ Within the fields

♪ That will always be the big ones

♪ We'll flow our geyser of life

♪ These are only very wild

♪ There's too many inside

Okay, so, you're sure this is what you want?

Yes, absolutely.

Okay, alright.

Well, is this okay for you?

Oh, yeah, this is um,

well within the range of things that I'm comfortable doing.

Okay.

Okay, good.

Woo.

Alright, sweetie, now,

okay, you tell me if I'm doing things right,

you tell me what feels good, okay?

Alright so, tell me if you like this.

Give me some response so I know, you know,

what's feeling right for you.

Okay, feedback.

Okay, yes, okay.

So we're gonna try this.

Okay.

Okay, this is what you want?

Yes.

Okay.

Alright, let's give this a try.

How does this feel?

Does that feel good?

Yeah?

Is that right?

Maybe a little deeper?

Okay, okay, I can do that.

Like that?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Alright.

Yeah.

♪ Through the night it

♪ Night it comes

So,

per your instructions,

you know, we pulled a couple of properties

and we're looking for things that were near,

a summer camp

but there's not really anything on the market

like that right now.

You know, it's the wrong time of year.

But,

there's a really nice lake nearby,

it's good stuff.

Do you like water?

That's real wood.

That's value.

As you can see,

this lot features gorgeous, mature trees.

They're really nice actually

but should you decide to, you know,

clear some of that away

and if you wanted to build,

that would be lovely too

or you could leave it natural

and undisturbed.

Yeah, people do that too.

You know, the way the office described you,

I thought you'd be taller.

Now, it is a fairly private location.

There is a neighborhood nearby but

you may get the occasional jogger.

I don't think they're gonna disturb you too much.

It's nice though.

Hey.

That's nice, isn't it?

Jogging, getting that heart rate up.

It's good stuff.

Do you jog?

Anything?

Well, other than that,

it's a lovely, lovely location.

You know, you've got your trees,

you've got your leaves, you got your grass,

yeah, close to a neighborhood

but not too close 'cause finding that

balance between privacy and

being part of a community, it's wonderful

but it is, it's really challenging to find the right thing.

So, what do you think?

Okay.

Yeah, no, I don't know where the office

is finding these new clients.

Apparently, since we've got all these

Hollywood types coming into town,

a lot of them are looking for properties now

but this is ridiculous.

Yeah, this guy just walked away while

I was showing the property, just walked away.

Uh-uh, right, you remember the one from last week,

the one with the stripey sweater

and that skin condition?

He just wanted to see properties

that had boiler rooms.

Who does that, right?

Uh-uh, no, I don't need the commission that bad.

No, Mr. Walksaway, he can find his

own way out of the woods.

This property features gorgeous, mature wooded trees,

that's not a word.

Close to the hustle and bustle

but far from the hustle and bustle.

Woo, it's real trees, yeah,

you don't just get that anywhere,

you get that here, out in nature.

This is nice, I like this.

Outdoor activities or a summer camp,

but, you know, there's nothing like that.

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen.

I hope you enjoyed these true depictions of life

on the country of Earth.

Why do real estate transactions

on your planet require use of face guards?

Oh, it's very important,

it's dangerous work, extremely dangerous work.

Yes?

You know,

when you're out there in the woods and

you know, a neighborhood, anything like that,

you gotta cover your face, gotta cover your face.

You, you couldn't walk around like this.

No, no.

I couldn't walk around like this.

I mean, look at me.

Now, the other question I have,

the prominent question is

do all your sexual proclivities include

the use of children's games based on surgery?

Ah, what's a sexual, what'd you say, sexual what?

Proclivity.

What is that?

Your needs.

Is that that thing that goes in the...

Your desires.

Okay, what did you say about kids?

We're about to go to

one more interview with one of the cast members

of this historical dramatization.

Would you like to introduce them?

Yeah, I know this one really good.

This person um, yeah,

things were missing all around the set

after the shoot.

Missing?

Yeah, people's keys were gone, jewelry was gone,

a lot of things were gone

and this person stole a lot of things

from a lot of people.

We had to make a full prostitution.

Oh, goodness, well thank you for

that introduction.

Absolutely.

Here's that interview with that cast member.

Tittiana Sprinkles,

the Pandora in both say that you are difficult

and that you spit on the face and I just want to know,

is this true and if so,

do you have message for them?

I think they better back themselves up

and check it 'cause this right here, uh-uh,

no, you just gotta get outta the way of this,

it's not my fault that I need, you know,

exactly eight inches of mirror

but they only gave me seven.

Do you say they have body odors?

Well, I wouldn't go that far.

I mean,

so,

yes.

I want to watch the season

of the Dukes of Hazzard where the original

stars do not play Bo and Luke

and it's probably not as good

but I imagine this is, your family is like Hee Haw?

My family?

Horrifying.

You can tell when it's someone...

We have loved having Earth director Andrew Shearer

here with us today.

You are just beautiful,

I want to lick your wrinkles, they are so gorgeous.

Take a number, you know.

Thank you so much for have me on the show

and having us talk to you, bye bye.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

we have a huge treat for you today.

The one and only, descended from the royal family

of Iralane, the member of parliament,

the illustrious, the ancient, the gorgeous,

Grand Muff Tit, Grand Muff Tit, come, darling.

Oh, hello, thank you for having me.

So good to see you.

It's wonderful to see you, Zee Zee, my dear.

You look so old.

Oh, are you on AARP,

which is a human, Earth word.

I heard of this, I know this thing too.

I feel like you could be on Medicare

and no one would bat a lash, my darling.

Oh, you are too kind.

You're too kind.

Now, Grand Muff Tit,

you are descended from the woman,

the pioneer who discovered that

we could trade the breast nectar to the humans

for the milk of the titty.

It was your great, great, great, great, great,

great grandmother?

Yes, that's correct, may she rest in peace.

I didn't kill her, just in case anyone was wondering.

No, no, no, no.

We will now see more interviews

from this historical dramatization.

Yes, they kicked me off the lot.

They, they kicked you off the lot?

I don't wanna talk about it.

It's a court thing.

Oh, I see.

Very well, let us go to these interviews.

Ms. Izzie Popp,

tell us, what is the meaning of Space Boobs In Space

for the artistic statement, what you are making

from this film?

We have something to do with

I guess, interplanetary exploration.

So it is a metaphor, what you are saying,

from the outer space is to speak from interspace.

That is correct.

Could you tell me a little bit

about your character,

it appears as very smart

for what I would assume is American astronaut?

That's right.

I am a ship captain and

I am skeptical at first.

It's fascinating to think of what it

would be like in the future when we do finally

discover alien life.

I think this is why I will consider you

a worthy thing for the science fiction genre.

Oh definitely.

Mostly they are transforming or they are

Captain America and they are not...

I think they will be breaking ground

with this film and

all audiences, whether they're American

or international will greatly appreciate

how realistic and...

Pandora Disaster?

Yes?

I would like to know,

first, how is it like to work with the

behavior problems of Coquette Du Jour

and of Izzie Popp?

They like sitting around on the floors

and do this bump and grind thing,

I don't quite understand.

In my country,

it's no acceptable.

You would be beheaded.

Space Boobs From Space,

why are they talk about the breasts

and do you think the America is ready for the boob?

I think the American needs to understand

that boobs, the tits, are glorious, yes.

They are multi-functional and they are

very pleasing to the eye.

Do you think that the violence is too much

in the America, do you think there is not enough

of the bare exposed anus and things like this

instead of the bullet and the gun?

I think the American needs to

expand their mind, yes.

They need to grow up, stop that stupid nonsense,

their ridiculous politics.

They needs to understand that art comes first.

Welcome back.

Now, Grand Muff Tit,

I must know, I must ask you,

why were you not included in the film?

What happened, tell us everything.

Well, you see,

I'm not supposed to talk about it.

I know, but you must, we're dying.

I feel like you and I are such close, close

bosom buddies, if you will.

Oh!

That I can share it with you

and your wonderful audience,

despite the court gag order.

The gentleman who was just here earlier before me?

Andrew Shearer, yes.

That nefarious director,

yes, Andrew Shearer.

Yes, yes, what did he do,

what did he do, tell us Grand Muff Tit,

my breasts are heaving with emotion.

Oh, speaking of heaving breasts,

that is where the story begins.

Imagine it,

a closed Paramount lot,

heaving breasts as far as the eye can see

and me with my wizened, yet still

appreciated by traditional Earth custom titties,

in the audience, waiting to meet that

nefarious director.

Our eyes locked from across the crowded lot.

I approached him.

I was very afraid, you see.

You see, I hadn't had any of that

delicious breast milk yet that day

and I said, no, I don't need that courage right now,

I see him.

We started a passionate, passionate tryst

and by tryst I mean planning murders

while eating Triscuits.

But then, in the manner of all men,

he left me for a Wheat Thin.

Oh, oh.

I was irate, naturally, as you can imagine.

Of course, of course.

What did you do?

Oh, I went back to the lot the very next day

and I said, where is that Andrew Shearer

and they said, we don't know what you're talking about,

please leave.

Well, I burned down the whole studio

and it wasn't until later I realized

I burnt down the Fox lot and not the Paramount lot.

That's a common mistake, yes.

Yes, it was very sad.

Common mistake, yes.

So, I was no longer allowed to be a part of that movie.

Oh.

Thank you so much for sharing Grand Muff Tits.

Of course, thank you for being here for me.

Oh, you're welcome, you're welcome,

your aged self.

You're beautiful and old.

Oh, thank you.

Why don't you introduce the next set of films?

Well,

you all watching are in for a special treat.

We are going to get some actual human Earth people

depictions of the real life in the 21st century.

You won't believe what they get up to,

number seven's a shocker.

I'm in the basement.

And then I just cut off his head.

Oh, you know I love murder!

I know, I know.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Zee Zee Poof

and we have had a wonderful time with

the Grand Muff Tit, it has been an honor,

a true honor for your aged face to grace our presence.

The honor is all mine.

To be here with you, one of my closest bosom buddies,

in front of all of you, the viewers.

I just, I couldn't be happier

and I hope you'll have me here again soon.

Oh, anytime, anytime,

we'd love to and coming up next we have

Beryl Peep here now, yay.

Yeah, you're looking rather young.

Beryl Peep, hello.

Hello, dear.

How are you, it's good to see you.

Thank you, thank you so much.

I am loving this exotic outfit,

can you tell us about it?

Oh, this.

Yes.

When I was doing research for my

highly critically acclaimed turn in Space Boobs In Space,

I did research on that period of time in Earth history.

The 1990s, yes.

Reagan years.

And I learned that Earth humans,

they would wear dead animals draped across their bodies,

it was very popular.

Oh, goodness,

well, did you kill this thing?

No, I didn't kill this one.

This is a vintage piece

but the humans, they raise the animals,

it was a special breeding program

and they were raised to have depression issues

and they would kill themselves.

Oh, I love all of this, it's beautiful.

Thank you, thank you.

So we actually are about to watch some human films,

some human sort of documentary educational films

that humans make...

About nature?

Yes, yes, for other humans to learn about

the place where they live.

I find Earth nature, just, it's fascinating.

We should really,

I mean, the same planet that produced

the milk from the titty.

Oh, milk from the titty.

We really, we owe it to ourselves to

learn as much as possible about their natural habitat.

Yes, habitat.

Let's go to the film.

Hi, I'm Andrew and I make really cheap movies.

I am very interested in the idea of real monsters

because then I don't have to come up

with the makeup for it.

They've already got it on 'cause they're monsters.

My only problem really is that,

will they kill me

and all I've heard about the Sandy Creek Mud Monster

is that she kills people.

I kind of need

to know if there's a female swamp monster around here,

'cause if there is,

I don't want somebody else filming her first.

I should be the one to do it.

I mean, that makes total sense.

So, I'm on my way to

the Sandy Creek Nature Center

and I'm gonna go way off the beaten path,

gonna go really far,

back to the parts where

it's a little dicey and no one ever goes

because if she's gonna be living somewhere

and everybody with their phones and all that stuff,

and never gotten a picture of her,

there's gotta be a reason for it.

It's gotta be a place where

it's not safe to bring your beard and you PBR,

so that's where I'm going.

♪ I've been inside them

♪ Like fish in your life

Hiya, Mud Monster.

Hey.

How you doing?

I'm doing great.

How y'all doing?

Oh, we're good, you know,

just thought we'd come and say hey,

find out if you were real, et cetera, et cetera.

That is so refreshing because usually

it's an opposite, usually I'm dealing with people,

you know, running, screaming.

You know, that's okay, that's who I am

and I just want other people to know that.

I want other people to realize what

it is to be a mud monster.

Well, I heard that

you like to rip arms off, suck out eyeballs,

that kind of thing but so far, so good.

Basically, everything that you see here

is couture, I made it myself.

Everything that you see me wearing,

I found here in the woods.

It's actually three bags,

is that I braided and used some,

you know, another campers shoelaces.

So are those people still alive or

how's that working?

Um, I mean, define alive.

Now they're included in fashion, which is way

more important than just a mortal existence.

Fashion is forever.

Certainly.

Fashion is forever.

So, uh, I was camping and

you wouldn't know it now, but I was a bit of a princess,

wasn't into

being in the woods, I was a bit of a, you know, city owl and

well, I was out there camping and you see,

I heard a sound and I went to investigate and

I saw the mud monster and I was attacked but

not killed.

So, uh, he kind of retired.

He just left the woods.

He went to Reno.

Since I was already, you know, afflicted,

I decided to go with it.

I like being in the woods, you know and

sometimes I think the call of Broadway might be

somewhere in my future but

you never know, you know?

Mud monster one day.

Yeah, stranger things have happened.

Yeah, the internet.

Is this where you live?

This is my place, this is where I keep my things.

You know, all my wearable art.

That's nice, where'd you get that,

do you remember?

I think it was a sorority group.

They ran so fast, I didn't get the chance

to find out, I guess.

I remember them, 'cause it was like,

they had trouble identifying them as missing

because they all looked the same.

I mean, it doesn't get any finer than this,

I mean, what's luxury?

Exactly.

Sleeping under the stars.

Yeah, yeah, well, where do people go

when they wanna get away, anyway?

You're already there.

That's right, I'm already here,

waitin'.

♪ Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher dust

♪ Little dirty birdy feet

♪ French fried eyeballs

♪ And I forgot to bring my spoon

I'm available for parties.

Sweet, well, thanks for not killing us

and maybe we'll see you around.

Hey, you know, the night is young.

Oh, shit.

♪ Like fish in moonlight

♪ Like fish in moonlight

Oh, goodness, that's very educational.

Nature, Earth nature,

I didn't know monsters were even real there

and I believe that...

Like the Yeti.

Like the Yeti, which I believe lives in the ocean,

isn't that correct?

Yes.

Yes?

Yes.

I did a lot of research on human culture

and Earth history and I found some interesting things

about them, like it is a little known fact

that humans are obsessed with their own anus.

Their anus?

Yes.

They, at that point in history,

they took all these photographs of their buttocks

which is where the human anus is located.

The anus is in their buttocks?

How do they sit on the chairs?

I know.

Oh, Shearer was sitting there with his anus,

you realize this?

Yes.

Oh, horrifying, horrifying.

It's very distasteful.

It's very distasteful.

We're better not thinking about it.

So humans, at this point in history

were obsessed with their own anus and knowing that

gave me an understanding of

how the Queen would have felt

interacting with these primitive humans

who were so stupid and so obsessed with

their own defecation.

Have you had any sort of

strange interactions with the illustrious

Grand Muff Tit,

who was descended from the Queen you have portrayed?

I really feel very fortunate

that Grand Muff and I have always had,

I feel a cordial relationship, really.

Ah.

Considering everything.

The keyed car, the burned studios.

I mean, I have a long history

of reliability on set.

Ah, yes.

I never try to

show my Triscuits to the director.

So, you are a lady, you are.

You know, I feel that things should be kept professional,

you know, I just,

and I think that's served me well but

everybody has their own approach, you know.

That's very true.

I don't bring matches to set.

I think that has been instrumental

in the furthering of my career.

Well, it's been wonderful for you to enlighten us all

into your film career and your friendship

with the illustrious and honorable

and beautiful, dear friend, Grand Muff Tit.

Now we are going to go to some interviews

with your cast members from the film.

Oh, good.

Enjoy.

Diego Wolf, thank you

for coming to the Foreign Press.

I just wanted to know if you could tell us

why you are participated in the movie about breasts

when you could be possibly, maybe, a political statement

or a social statement or save the whale,

why you are doing the movie instead?

Why can't I save the whale and play with the boobs?

Do you know what your character motivation

is supposed to be in the filming

of the Space Boobs, what you are saying

with the artistic statement of this character?

I like to scan the boob.

Your friends in Brazil would like to know,

Diego, what is your favorite color

and who were your favorite member of Menudo?

Oh, what, Menudo?

What is your favorite ice cream?

We would like to know,

the co-star of your film have a trouble with each other,

there are many scandal and many rivalries.

Very many, yes, very many scandal.

Can you say why do they say

Coquette Du Jour and Tittiana Sprinkle

are going to fight each other out in the street?

I don't know.

You do not want to say

or are you afraid of them?

I am forbidden.

Ms. Jenny Haniver,

will you talk to the Foreign Press

about your work in the Space Boob From Space

and how do it relate to the plight of

the aboriginal in Brazil?

I don't know what you said, mate.

I'm high as a kite right now.

Right, right, right,

what is your favorite pizza toppings?

Uh.

Milk, milk.

Milk, yeah, milk.

How do you feel about the baby cow and

how the milk is only for him and not

for the human consumptions?

You know, I never really thought it before but

it's kind of fucked up, eh?

Do you know Steve Irwin per personal

and how do you feel he, Paul Hogan

was affected by his untimely passings?

What is your favorite color?

We have report that Coquette Du Jour have murdered

Tittiana Sprinkle or Tittiana Sprinkle

have murdered Coquette Du Jour in the dressing room.

Have you heard about, can you confirm these

for Brazil?

I thought that was a dream I had.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am Zee Zee Poof

and we are here with the late actress Beryl Peep.

Now Mrs. Peep, we have just seen some of your

illustrious cast mates talking about the film.

It was a joy to work with, really,

almost all of them.

I can tell.

Now we are going to go straight to the next film

because it is one of my personal favorites

in which you play a dead human,

which is just fascinating.

It was a lot of work, you know.

The extensive prosthetic make-up

that had to be put on me.

Oh.

Really took a long time,

they had to cover my age spots,

which was very uncomfortable.

I don't know that I could do that.

It felt odd to be so ugly, you know,

and to look so human.

They're so strange looking.

They're very ugly.

What sort of method did you have to go into

to play a dead human,

did you think about your anus the entire time?

Well, I talked to the other humans because, you know,

some of the roles were played by actual humans.

Yes, had they been dead before?

I talked to the other humans on set

and they told me that the dead humans

don't utilize their anus.

At all?

No.

How bizarre.

So they just stop when they die

and they just, odd.

So it was very strange because I had to

both be this human character who remembers

being obsessed with my own anus.

So coming up next.

Yes, this film that I play in.

Can you give us a little bit

of an introduction?

Well, I felt like this was a,

a deeply emotional role for me,

being able to get in touch with, you know,

like my inner, my inner...

Boobs.

Dead human, so, um.

Can they go back and forth?

Can dead humans come back?

No, they just stay that way.

They're very strange.

That's so weird.

Yeah.

Alright, well, let's go to the film,

we'll be right back, ladies and gentlemen.

Okay so,

I wanna get serious for a minute.

Everything's fine, but I have to.

Don't do that, you'll ruin everything.

I know I'm not the best at,

at telling you how I feel sometimes, but,

you're making it take longer...

Huh, oh.

I wanna give you something.

It belonged to my grandmother.

She was my best friend and

whenever I forget what true love is like

I just look at it and remember.

I, no, oh my god, no, I can't take that.

That's too much.

You have to.

It's safe with you

and you're safe with me.

Now when you look at it you'll know every time.

No, I think a few months is perfect timing,

it wasn't like creepy or like, desperate, you know, but,

it was like something out of a movie, it was really sweet,

only, you know, it wasn't cheesy or anything

because it was happening to me.

Oh, um, well, it's gorgeous.

I sorta don't wanna take it off.

Um, no, I can't tomorrow actually,

he's cooking me dinner, so.

Oh, you'll find somebody else

to go out with and be jealous of, don't worry about it,

bye.

Thank you for doing this and

especially for telling me no

when I asked if I could help.

That's okay, I know you hate cooking.

I do feel sorta guilty but

I would feel worse burning your house down.

Tell you what, you finish that

while I go get the good dishes.

And I can set the table if you trust

me with those.

We'll see.

So, who's this hot mama in the picture here?

Really?

Well, she's got on your grandmother's ring,

so you can't say she's no one.

No,

she was definitely somebody,

was.

Oh, come on, we never talk about your exes.

I'll trade you stories, I got a couple good ones.

I do too,

just not about her.

Ooh, well now you have to.

Nah.

There was this one girl...

Who is not in this picture and

who I don't care about.

The girl in the picture died.

Oh my god.

I-I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I'm not weird about it.

We weren't together that long,

we broke up long before it happened, so.

That's horrible,

I didn't realize, I wouldn't have said anything.

It's really okay.

She gave me the ring back before we split, so.

None of my exes ever really liked talking about exes

so I guess I just got into the habit of

not doing so.

That's probably a good habit.

The present is way more important.

I'd rather talk about you.

Well, we can do that.

Ow.

Oh, I know who you are.

I, fuck, go away.

Oh my god, please go away.

I don't even know if I love him yet,

I just, I think I might but,

you know what, you can have him, just have him,

just, you can't have him, you're dead,

what am I saying?

I don't know what you want.

Just go away, just go away.

Oh.

What are you doing way over here,

tired of our usual spot?

There's just too many people, you know?

I wanted a little more privacy.

Well, you better be careful because

privacy can lead to sexy really quickly,

sexy picnic.

I really should have told you about Candice.

Well, at some point you were bound to find out

how nosy I am.

Things didn't work out for me and Candice

for the same reason they never work out.

I just need you to trust me

and if you need to know everything, I'll tell you

and you're right,

you are nosy.

So if you wanna know how she died,

I'll tell you right here.

Right here it happened.

Right here.

And action, Kate!

I know who you are and I'm not okay

with you being here

and you need to go and you can have him

but maybe not today, maybe sometime next week

but you're a ghost, so really can't have him at all.

Mother wanted me to come down in a kimono,

we had an awful fight.

Ladies and gentlemen,

hope you enjoyed that very interesting film

that I love, I love, I watch it all the time.

You really encompass all the nuance of a dead human.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, stop.

It's wonderful to see, it's emotional and moving

and just, you capture their ugliness so well.

You're too kind.

So, would you like to introduce

this film that I heard was also a favorite of yours

and was instrumental.

I did watch this human film when I was doing research

for playing a human.

Yes.

This film, I felt was, for me and my research,

was something of a turning point

in really seeing that all parts of human life

related back to the buttocks and the anus.

Yes, yes.

And so, I felt like I could really see that

coming through in this particular picture.

You saw the anus coming through.

So, I mean, but it was really enlightening

and it helped give greater insight

into the way that humans really work

when interacting with them.

That is a fascinating, fascinating...

I think it's important.

Perspective on human culture.

I think it's important.

Let's see it.

He's been watching us,

I told you they was watching us.

So, it does not mean that they are vampires.

Now the hell it don't.

They did the same thing to my cousin Angie

a couple weeks ago.

These bitches stayed out at the club late all night long

and then they gotta go steal somebody's car

so then they can get home in the morning

before the sun come up.

So they steal cars, that does not

mean that they are vampires.

Uh, yeah it do.

Alright look, I told you we could go home

if you were too scared.

I am afraid of nothing,

plus, my phone is in the car.

Well, we should go do this real quick

before we burn up too, let's go.

They got the keys

and your phone is gone too.

Well, it looks like we're going in.

Okay, okay.

Let's do this.

Wait.

What is your brilliant plan?

I don't know,

drink a bunch of holy water and I'll piss in their face,

man, I don't know, I thought the keys

would be in the car.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, let's go.

Yeah.

Yes?

If you are through playing around

we would like our car back.

Yeah and I drank a whole bunch of holy water

and I gotta real bad, know what I mean?

Holy water?

I know y'all some vampires too.

All that dirt on your neck and stuff

and if you don't quite playing around

and give me my car keys, I'm gonna come in there

and I'll pee on everything, I'm gonna kill everybody.

Psss.

Uh, follow me,

ladies, follow me.

Look man, I just want my car keys,

we'll just wait right here.

Uh-huh.

Oh yes,

the keys.

The Master has the keys

and the Master has your phone too.

I told you they had my phone.

Alright yeah, well, you tell Master

that we'll wait here and they can bring

the keys and the phone here.

Um,

I must stay here but

please go, the Master wants much very, very much

to meet you.

Ugh, what's that smell?

That is the smell of cocaine pornographies.

I don't know, I mean,

hookers fart dicks, vampires fart blood

and I know the difference between dicks and blood.

Thank you for telling me this.

Don't look so frightened, my darlings,

you are both far too beautiful.

I do not fear you,

I do not feel fear your collective titties.

I fear nothing.

That's not true, you're afraid of skeletons.

She's afraid of skeletons.

Now, why would you say that, that is a lie.

You, my dear, have the skeleton inside of you,

right under your skin.

Oh my dear, she's right.

She's right, oh my dear.

It's alright, everybody has one.

Why would you say that?

Because it's science.

It's okay.

Angie?

Oh yes, your cousin,

she came back for her car, just like you,

but she decided to stay,

lucky us.

Angie.

And she has told what a fantastic dancer you are.

This is true.

All we ask is one dance

and then we'll gladly return your keys.

With you?

You see, today is Ingrid's birthday.

Last night, we went out to celebrate

and had to make a quick getaway to beat the sun.

Why ain't y'all just fly home,

why y'all got to steal people's cars?

Miranda learned that one the hard way.

Have you ever heard the sound a drunkin'

bat makes when it burns it's chocha?

Ew.

Would you believe that poor Ingrid

has never had a lap dance?

Damn,

they're talking now, put out a chair and everything.

What do you say?

Where is my phone?

Oh yes,

she quite likes these when they make

with the vibrating.

Darlings,

sweet lovely darlings,

shall we dance?

And this is not a cocaine pornography, eh?

What?

Meg, are you alright, you don't look so good.

I'm so hungry.

Can we go to ze Waffle House?

Meg, I'm about to pass out,

been up all night and all this vampire stuff.

Meg, I got some beef jerky back there

if you can't wait till we get home.

Meg?

Meg?

Meg?

Good god, that's enough.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this is Zee Zee Poof,

thank you so much for joining us tonight.

These are my wonderful guest, Ms. Beryl Peep,

big round of applause,

the honorable, the Grand Muff Tit

and the bizarre looking, Andrew Shearer,

Earth man and director, yay.

Thank you so much for joining us

in the cinema to give views

of Space Boobs In Space.

See you tomorrow, mwah.

Oh, zerpluck, pardon me, hello,

I didn't see you come in.

I'm afraid your puny Earth vocal chords

couldn't properly translate my name so

I will grant you the ability to call me

by my initials, but also my title,

I am Grand Muff Tit.

Tonight I will be giving you

the very inside scoop into the

Iralanian state dinner we'll be having,

and all the proper customs and history

as we celebrate the Tricentennial from when

my species met you tiny, tiny folks

on that pale blue dot we call Earth.

Now, allow me to break down for you

the three basic of Iralanian customs

we'll be going over today.

Pleasing physical appearance,

greetings

and dining etiquette, which,

there needs to be more than just one desert spoon,

at least three dessert spoons

or else, why bother?

Now, you might notice upon my lovely cheekbone

you will find some wonderful emerald freckles.

The Iralanians don't mind them being called freckles,

we prefer the term ginnyinni dots.

You lowly humans might have these weird little

facial folds called wrinkles.

I'm sorry to tell you but

these are disgusting.

In order to alleviate those unsightly wrinkles,

what I might suggest is

laying back and letting your saggy skin

just kind of, let gravity just kind of take it's,

take it's hold and then if you could get your skin

in the very back and just pull it as taut as possible.

I wouldn't say a staple gun

but if that's what you have on hand,

don't let me stop you and just go,

right down the neck to hold that loose skin in place.

Wrap a cosmetic, I believe you call them, scarves,

scarf around your neck in some pleasing fashion,

perhaps like this, with my hair,

but you don't have hair like this, I do,

so you would have to find a scarf

and now onto subject two, personal greetings,

because hello won't cut it

and for this, I will have to bring on my

production assistant,

or as I affectionately refer to her as Boob.

With Boob here as my guest,

we will now do the official, proper state way

of saying a Iralanian hello

followed by an Iralanian goodbye

and so, what you want to do is

move your hands up to your titty

forming titty fins, then in an alternating motion,

move your hands up, down, up, down, up, down,

then lock eye contact with the other Iralanian,

up, down, up, down, move into position,

up, down, up, down,

approach the other Iralanian,

up, down, up, down, make titty contact,

up, down, up, down, now shimmy, up, down, up, down,

up, down, and then break.

You did it.

Now, onto the official state-sanctioned

Iralanian goodbye

and for that, we will move our hands

back up to titty fin position

and then quickly move them to our buttocks, like so

and this is mimicking our

squid ancestors and just move this way

until you're out the door.

If you can ink, by all means, do so.

Now, thank you, Production Assistant, Boob,

that will be all.

Proper Iralanian dining etiquette.

Yes, I have equipped with me

the three proper dessert spoons

because if you don't have three, what's the point?

You have to use one, um, nom, nom, nom,

two, um, nom, nom, nom, nom,

and three and you have to hold them this way,

slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, slurp, it's delicious.

If you were to mix all of the traditional

Iralanian desserts on one spoon,

when combined with the oxygen and the metal alloys

in the spoon, you would die a very painful death,

very slowly over the course of 20 minutes

to 15 years, there's just no telling.

I know I just dismissed her

but I must bring her back again.

My production assistant, Boob,

will be coming to show us the next proper dining etiquette.

Thank you, Boob.

Okay, goodbye.

Some lovely Earth titty milk

and it will always be served

in a glass like this and we will always

take a sip of it like this.

It's wonderful what our two cultures can do when combined.

We will remain looking fresh till death

and you, when consuming our lovely titty nectar

will avoid the certain death that all of us

must receive by one more pleasant day,

unless you eat all the desserts on one spoon,

then your death will last anywhere from 20 minutes

to five years.

Yes, we Iralanians will drink your human titty milk

because we need it to survive.

If we don't, we'll turn back into squids

and if I turn back into a blessed squid one more time

because of a trade embargo,

I will go Cthulhu on all of your major cities,

towns and tourist destinations,

specifically Panama City Beach,

you know what you did, PCB, you know what you did.

If I may call my lovely production assistant Boob

here to reclaim this container from me,

there's only so much of human titty milk

I can take in one day, despite being delicious

and we do thank you for your trade.

We do, I hate being a squid.

It's just the worst.

Alright, goodbye, Boob.

And thank you so much for joining us

on this Earth Public Broadcasting System.

Remember, they need your donations to help us

make this happen.

Oh, and who could that be?

Why, it's my boyfriend,

Tom Cruise, Jr., Jr., Jr., Jr., the second.

He's human, I'm so progressive

and remember, the next time you're invited

to an Iralanian state function of some sort,

I have taught you all the basics you need to know

to not look like the wrong kind of boob.

Come.

Subtitles by explosiveskull