Original subtitles

BLUNT

Honey, you're snoring.

You're making too much noise. Please!

Good evening, I'm Esperanza Gracia.

If there's something that worries, torments or disturbs you,

the cosmos can predict it, but not help you.

Amil Narayan is here with us.

Thank you very much, Esperanza.

Did you know that most physical pain is closely related

to spiritual pain?

Now it's finally possible to cleanse the spirit,

to chip away at anxiety, distress and all negativity

with my special solution of thousand-year-old herbs.

NICE WHISKERS SIS (THE CAT'S TOO)

I'm convinced that having bad thoughts...

NICE WHISKERS, SIS

AWAKE AT 4 IN THE MORNING? WHAT'S UP?

NEIGHBOR'S PARTY AND SNORING.

WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?

PUNISHED ON THE SOFA. AGAIN.

WHY?

NO REASON. ALEJANDRA IS IN MINEFIELD MODE.

NERVES BEFORE THE WEDDING. PATIENCE. READY FOR THE BIG DAY?

Writing...

Writing...

Writing...

With me, Esperanza, a soul in pain can heal.

Writing...

Writing...

Writing...

YES.

...two frasks.

God, shit!

Honey, did you change the bills to the new account?

What?

The water is freezing.

If you didn't change it, they may have returned the gas bill.

I forgot, sorry. I'll go today, I promise.

You don't have to go, you can do it on the Internet.

But it doesn't work.

What?

I was going to call someone to come and fix it, but...

I didn't have time.

- Okay, I'll call someone. - No, my love...

- Don't worry, I'll do it later. - Okay.

By the way...

What's wrong?

You didn't go shopping either?

Oh, no.

- What a wanker. - Are you going today or not?

Of course, I am. But it's not up to me.

You never know when the muses might appear.

Don't worry.

Even if the water's freezing, I have to wash my hair.

What?

Nothing. I'll go to the supermarket.

Can you buy me some of my shampoo? I ran out.

I had to use what was left of yours.

Toulouse?

Where are you coming from so late?

Look, you're with my dad, but you're not my mother.

Besides, it's super early.

It's 8145.

What?

Oh, my God, I'm so late...

No, you know you can't smoke in the house.

What do you mean, I can't?

Sure, I can. Where there's a will, there's a way.

At least get an ashtray.

I said where there's a will there's a way,

not where there's a way, there's a will.

Shit, shit, shit!

Shit!

MAKING ROUNDS

Eusebio!

Are you drunk?

Thank you, Miss.

I've been here since 6 AM getting banged every 10 seconds.

I can't believe it, Eusebio. You too?

If you can't beat them, join them.

Did you bring the ice?

I'm looking for the owner.

Quique! Someone's looking for you!

Howdy, neighbor! Damn, Eusebio!

What the fuck? We were waiting for you to bring more ice.

Tomorrow's the neighbors' meeting, we'll report him.

I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry.

I can't get in my car. Yours is rubbing against it again.

Rubbing against it? That gets you hot, huh?

- Come in. - No, no.

I'm late for work.

Okay, I'll get my keys.

Who the fuck has my car keys?

You gave them to Eusebio!

To go for ice!

Eusebio has them.

Take them off him.

Take them off him?

The keys, damn it. You want to move the car, right?

You can't think I'm so irresponsible to drive in this condition.

Leave them in my mailbox.

Bye. gorgeous.

BOSS CALLING

Paz, where are you? The client should be here any minute.

Yeah, I'm around the corner.

I hope you look sharp.

You know how important it is to project the right image.

If we want to sell theirs...

Don't worry.

That's enough lipstick, damn it!

Sorry.

Will you let me in?

Thank you!

Yeah, right. Kiss my ass with that pretty face of yours.

ARE YOU THERE? PAZ?

HI. IT'S URGENT.

My friend, I need to see you and tell you what that SOB did.

See you at the gym later?

Okay, I'll go in at lunchtime around two.

No.

More like three.

Borja, I'm almost there.

Paz, where are you?

I'm four minutes away.

From going insane.

An energy bar for breakfast?

I have a bar that would give you plenty of energy.

Did you get it?

Paloma.

I saw you're single now on Facebook.

Did you change your hair?

It looked better before.

But my bar will fit anyway.

Hey, my spot was taken. Do you know anything?

- Sorry, sorry, sorry. - Hey, it's about time.

I'm ready, where's the client?

They changed the meeting to 4 PM.

Why didn't you call me? I almost had a heart attack.

Come with me in the office.

WHO HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING OUT WITH?

VERY FUNNY.

Paz, how long have you been working with us? 15 years?

Yes.

Ten with your father and almost five with you.

You've seen the industry change during that time.

Nobody wants a media presence anymore.

They want likes on Instagram.

And they only trust people who speak that language.

- That's why I'm designing a new... - Paz.

- You're not on any social networks. - Yes, I am.

I just don't upload naked photos of myself to get more followers.

Exactly. That's what I mean.

You want me to upload naked photos of myself?

No way. You're not hot enough for that anymore.

We need a sexy image.

Wild.

You would be more like a MILF.

A MILF?

"A mother I'd like to fuck."

But that's not true either, because you have no kids.

I think with the girls you've hired lately

you've more than covered the cool sexy part.

I know.

But we have to go further. Do you know Alicia Garcia?

Wonderlicia?

The model.

"It girl."

Models are out, Paz.

Alicia has 150,000 followers on Twitter,

400,000 on lnstagram

and who knows how many hits on YouTube.

Alicia is a very powerful influencer

She calls her followers "Ali lovers."

Would you like to meet her?

- Hi-hello! +m

Alicia, this is Paz. Paz, this is...

- Alicia. - Hi, nice to meet you.

Oh, I love your...

everything. I love everything.

Do you mind me recording? I'm live on lnstagram.

No, on the contrary.

Hi-hello, Ali lovers!

I'm in the Blackboard Agency offices

where I was just given great news.

Say hi to the camera.

Paz is the lady I'm replacing.

What?

No, not replace.

Alicia will be our new senior supervisor of digital marketing.

But that's my job.

You'll both do it.

I want to mix the best of both worlds.

The old with the new.

Analog with digital.

- In and out. - Exactly.

You'll work together. Each one will supervise the other.

But "each one" will be Alicia and "the other" will be you.

You mean she's going to be my boss.

Look, Paz.

All of our brands demand an age between 20 and 35.

How old did you turn last week? 40?

39.

Even worse.

40 is the new 30.

What is 39? Nothing. The same old 39.

Don't listen to him, my mom is 38 and she looks great, like you.

Let's say hi to my mom. Hi, Mom!

Are you okay, Paz?

- Do you want to sit down? - No. I'm fine, sorry. It's okay.

Can you take Alicia to Administration?

Yeah, sure.

- Please. - No, please. After you.

Age before beauty.

Come in.

Sugar-free decaf with a few drops of skim milk.

What's that?

Payment for putting up with me complaining at 4 AM.

I must be the cheapest psychologist around.

They say nobody's better than your ex.

Who says that?

Me, I guess.

How silly.

What happened in there?

Our boss hired a 20-year-old brat to supervise me.

What?

It's for my own good.

I'm grateful because I'm too old to do things myself.

Are you okay?

What?

Very nice shirt she got you.

How do you know it was her?

It's not your style.

The button doesn't strangle you?

Yeah, it's a little uncomfortable.

Why were you on the sofa?

The wedding dress.

She's been eating puree for 5 days so it will fit.

Baby food.

The baby food diet! She's my idol.

She wants me to do it too. A lot of famous people are doing it.

But I read that it's very unhealthy.

I told her and kaboom.

I'm not on her side, I don't involve myself, etc.

Just like your mother.

No, my mother was a saint.

Around you.

Let's drop it.

How did it end?

Oh, I got...

pear, banana with carrots.

Go on, laugh.

I have a test with the tailor today.

There are worse things.

I have my sister's cat's birthday.

- No. - I swear.

I don't know what to get him, I think I'll just give him the money.

Gabriel, here you are again.

We said I was picking you up outside. I called you 4 times.

- We have the tailor, remember? - I was on my way out.

- Hi, Alejandra. - Hi.

Let's go. We have to try the menu after.

The menu? What about the baby food diet?

- Give me two seconds. - One,

two. Let's go.

We're one week behind with everything.

Chubby, your top button came unbuttoned. Come on.

Hi-hello, Ali lovers!

This is the parking lot at my new company Blackboard,

the agency to watch from now on.

We're super trendy.

- Alicia, excuse me. - Yeah.

This is my parking spot.

Please don't park in it again.

Sorry, Borja said you didn't mind.

That you're good at parking outside.

- He said that? - Yeah.

Okay, fine.

Paz, excuse me. Can I ask you a favor?

Sure, what's up?

Can we do that over again?

I just realized I wasn't recording. It's for lnstagram Stories, you know.

And can you make it a bit more natural, more organic?

You seemed a little tight.

Okay?

Hey, Paz! Fine, I won't tag you.

What a bummer.

Hi-hello, Ali lovers!

This is the parking lot at my new company Blackboard.

ANY PAIN IN YOUR LIFE THAT WON'T LET YOU LIVE?

- Is that your car? - Yes.

- It just got a ticket. - Yeah, I see that.

Why?

You're blocking the driveway.

What?

Please...

You should pay me for watching it for you.

Watching it? I got a ticket.

But I still haven't keyed it... yet.

I haven't got any change. I'm really sorry.

This will do. Thanks.

Welcome to Customer Service.

Please type your ID number.

Invalid ID number. Please type again.

Thank you. We're transferring your call to our customer help center.

If you have problems with your TV, press 1.

Internet, press 2.

All of our salespeople are busy at this time.

We'll attend to your call in a moment.

Hello, my name is Clodomiro Ortega.

This call is being recorded in order to improve our service.

- How can I help you? - Hello, please.

Can you send a technician to my house? I have problems with my connection.

One moment, I'll pass you to the service department.

Welcome to our service department.

- Please type your ID number. - Again?

Invalid ID number. Please type again.

I can't...

Thank you. We're transferring your call to our service department.

- If you have problems with your TV... - Two.

- Internet... - Two.

All of our salespeople are busy at this time.

We'll attend to your call in a moment. Please, don't hang up.

Yes, Service Department.

This is Clodomiro Ortega, go ahead.

Honey, I finally got the Internet people to come.

Okay? They'll be there any time between now and seven.

Please be on the lookout.

Okay, kiss.

Let's go, we're almost finished. You're doing great, ten more.

Come on, you're almost there. Let's go!

- Come on! - I can't!

What do you mean, you can't?

Bitch, you'd climb the wall like a monkey for a cupcake.

What happened that was so serious?

- Are you ready? - Yes.

- Are you sure? - Vane, please, you're scaring me.

Diego is on Tinder.

Diego, your ex?

Yes, on Tinder. Tinder.

Yeah, but you're with Raul.

Yeah, but only to piss off Diego.

Then I thought:

Maybe he joined Tinder to see if I did.

So you're on Tinder too?

Sure, where do you think I met Raul?

I figured it out.

He joined Tinder because he wants me back.

He's too scared to tell me, so he joined to see if I'm there and click like.

Isn't that romantic?

But you can't know who likes you until you like them,

so I liked him. And you won't believe it.

The moron hadn't liked me.

We didn't match.

Be careful with him, okay?

What an idiot! He joins Tinder to see if I'm there and get me back,

and he's too ashamed to like me?

Maybe he joined for another reason.

And he keeps sending me mixed signals.

Look, this morning.

Vanessa, please stop calling my mother.

We broke up 8 months ago.

Get over it already!

What does that mean?

I don't know.

It's totally obvious, Paz.

He's jealous.

Even worse, he's trying to separate me from my friends.

It's his mother!

Even worse.

If he keeps this up, I'll blow him off completely.

- Maybe that's what you should do. - It's not normal.

You should hear what my boss did to me today.

He hired a 20-year-old brat to supervise me, can you believe it?

Are you listening to me?

Yes.

Her name is Wonderlicia, you might know her,

she's an it-girl with thousands of followers.

So annoying... Her outfits, her great body, her selfie-stick...

Are you listening to me?

Selfie-stick, right?

Yeah.

So I grabbed it and started banging her on the head with it

until it split open and her brains spilled all over the ground

and some kids on a field trip started eating them.

Look, the video with the penguins.

Look at the penguin, how cute.

It's gone viral.

Why are you looking at me like that?

You're the one who wanted me to stop talking about my ex.

CHECK OUT MY NEW "TOOL" FOR WORK

He must have sent it to you by mistake.

Yeah, I imagine, but...

but he's sending me photos of his... of his willy.

He's 20 years old, it's another generation.

So you're not going to say anything to him.

Say what to him?

Please, don't be so old-fashioned.

It's kids' stuff.

Okay, I'm late to a meeting.

Please remember to bring me my shampoo.

- I need it - Bye.

Okay, to close out the concept of the "Jetdry" campaign...

"Jet dry."

"Dry-ll

"Jet dry," sorry.

...the idea is for the brand ambassadors

to viralize consumption.

Viralize how?

By sharing its use in daily situations.

Hi-hello.

Sorry, but can I say something?

Of course, Alicia. That's why you're here.

Did you say ambassadors?

Yes, famous people who use the product.

I know what an ambassador is, Paz.

Look, I know I'm new and just joined the project, but...

"ambassadors" is so 2013...

They've been proven very effective, especially on lnstagram.

That was before, now they generate rejection.

People notice when something is being forced on them.

It's not an organic way to advertise.

- I agree. - It's true. Very nice.

I'd never seen it that way.

It's true.

That's why Alicia is our secret weapon here at Blackboard.

Okay.

So what do you suggest?

The new trend is "infotainment."

I propose creating exclusive audiovisual content

for digital media.

A web series.

How cute!

A web series is so 2011!

No, I mean an experience.

A fashion film with youtubers, influencers, real people.

You mean ambassadors.

Yes,

but no.

I mean, yes,

but different. I'm talking about... I don't know.

Three-second videos?

I don't think 3 seconds is enough to deliver the message.

The thing is, my generation is used to digesting everything more quickly

than yours.

She's good.

I know that's hard for you to understand.

Only because you're offering random concepts

with no clear idea of what you want to do.

Clear ideas are so 2009...

You need to catch up.

You're absolutely right, Alicia.

Nobody's interested in clear ideas.

I'm sorry Paz's presentation was so "vintage."

Tomorrow we'll bring you the new one with Alicia's changes.

What changes? She hasn't proposed anything concrete.

"Concrete."

"Concrete."

Okay.

So just to get this straight,

what you want is a proposal with no clear ideas,

no message and nothing concrete.

- Exactly. Full 201 a. - Rig ht.

Bravo, very nice.

Thank you very much!

Paz, what's wrong?

I don't know what's wrong with me.

There, there, it's okay.

I can't breathe.

I'm drowning.

I'm drowning.

What's wrong with me?

You tell me. What's wrong with you?

It started with a strong pain in my chest,

and I think I had a panic attack

because I couldn't breathe and I thought I was going to die.

It had never happened before.

I'll increase your dose of Calmazepam.

No, wait, look.

I have my health,

a job, a husband, I'm doing...

well, all right, so...

what I'm trying to figure out is why I feel this anxiety.

Because you need more Calmazepam.

No, I think I need something else.

Yes, you also need a higher dose of Anxitranquil.

How many are you taking a day?

Two.

Then take four.

You see? There's always a solution.

But I need to know why I feel this way, not more pills.

- You don't want pills? - No.

Then how about drops?

Don't you think you should analyze what happened to me?

Tell me one thing:

What word would you use to describe someone who's level-headed,

harmonic,

measured...

Balanced.

No, with 6 letters.

Stable?

Exactly.

Thank you.

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

Happy birthday dear Tommy,

happy birthday to you.

Make a wish, Tommy!

He's so nervous he can't even blow.

Yaw.!

My cute little Tommy!

My pretty Tommy!

- There's Auntie Paz! - For he's a jolly good fellow...

Bea.

Can cats eat sugar?

Please! Cats can eat anything they want,

-like any human being. - Okay.

I wanted to mention something. I'm okay, just...

Tommy, please, get down. Get down.

He doesn't realize he could get hurt. Tommy, get down.

He gives me vertigo.

Sorry, you were saying?

You know that lately...

I have chest pain, I'm taking pills...

Pills... Oh, Paz!

Thanks for reminding me.

I forgot his thyroid drops.

Pretty kitty,

pretty kitty!

I'm back. Tell me.

I had an...

anxiety... panic attack.

A real panic attack? Crying and everything?

Please, little sis!

Why didn't you call me right away?

You know I'm here for anything you need.

I know.

Just like you're here for me.

Right, pretty little sister?

Okay, what does my pretty little sister want?

You know me so well. A tiny little favor.

I have to go to a PCRA meeting in Barcelona.

PCRA?

The Pet Civil Rights Association.

We're making huge progress.

Soon Tommy will be a Spanish citizen with full rights.

Like when immigrants get their papers.

The thing is, I have to be away for a couple of days.

Could you take care of him for me?

Of course. Bring him over tomorrow morning...

No, no, no.

Tommy gets stressed outside his natural environment.

He's sick.

Couldn't you come here to give him his medicine?

Sure.

Paz, you're saving me!

It's super easy.

12 thyroid drops, 10 for his stomach and 3 drops

in each eye for his conjunctivitis.

He only needs them in the morning and at night

so if you come twice a day that's plenty.

And give him food, but not too much

because he'll eat it all

and he'll get constipated. Right, my little chubby-wubby?

By the way, if he gets constipated, rub some Vaseline in his asshole.

But he doesn't like cotton swabs,

so you rub a little

on your pinkie,

stick it in and... presto.

Oh, great! You're the technician. You're coming from 1 B, right?

I've been ringing the bell for an hour.

How strange, my husband said...

And headquarters said there would be people in the domicile.

I'm sorry, I apologize. Please come up with me...

Impossible, ma'am.

My work day ends at 19:00.

- It's 19:04. If you'll excuse me... - No, no.

I need my Internet fixed. Please...

Look, ma'am. I'm outside my working hours.

The union doesn't let us work overtime, they don't pay us.

When can you come back?

I can't come back just like that.

You have to call the company again and repeat the request.

I can't believe it.

With the guarantee that there will be people in the domicile

between 10 AM and 7 PM. Not like this time.

The hours can't be adapted slightly?

No.

Sweetheart...

What's up?

I told you to be on the lookout for the Internet technician coming today.

Did he come?

Yes. He was downstairs.

Well, then?

Nothing.

I'll call and have him come back tomorrow. So please

be ready, we can't be without Internet that long.

Okay, okay.

- Did you go to the supermarket? - Oh, honey...

No, I didn't go to the supermarket. Look!

Look at this!

Look how these lines finally want to converge.

The energy is flowing.

What a vibe!

Speaking of energy...

Something happened to me at the office.

I don't want you to worry, but...

I had a sort of panic attack.

You were saying?

Did you get my shampoo?

Darling?

WHAT DID DANTE SAY?

HE WAS VERY WORRIED, OF COURSE.

I SHOULD SAY FUCK IT ALL AND GO TO THE CARIBBEAN.

I'M IN. LET'S BOTH QUIT AND GO TOGETHER.

YOUR OFFER IS 10 YEARS LATE.

DON'T WORRY, WE CAN INVITE DANTE.

AND ALEJANDRA.

HAHAHA.

HAHAHA.

Do you feel like nobody listens to you?

Like nobody understands you?

Like not even a good night's rest will solve your problems

because you're too worried to sleep?

Tell me about them.

You have nothing to lose in trying and finding out

that I can help you for real.

Come and see me.

This stays between you and me.

I know you deny it, but you want to come.

And you know it.

Can I help you?

I'm here to see Amil Narayan.

But I don't believe in this stuff.

You're the one who came, lady. I just work here.

It's not a scam, is it?

Lady, which part of "I just work here" did you not get?

I feel a little silly because I never...

I've always laughed at people who do these things, you know?

That "Gemini from Leon..." stuff. I'm not one of those.

Right.

Then...

what are you?

Pisces from Madrid?

No.

Libra from Teruel.

Libra. The master will see you now.

He'll see you in a few minutes, Mr. Mota.

Thank you.

Welcome.

How do you know about me?

Lately I see you everywhere.

Observe signs?

Observe that you have very good advertising.

Sit down.

Why you come?

It's just...

I saw you on TV yesterday...

and it seemed like...

like you knew exactly how I feel.

Like you were talking to me.

Describe your symptoms.

Lately I have pain in my chest.

Phenomenal.

Anxiety.

Wonderful.

And...

yesterday I had a panic attack.

Fantastic!

When you touch bottom, you are ready to heal.

Tongue.

What?

Stick out tongue.

You repress many emotions.

I don't know.

But that's what I want to know, okay? Why do I feel this way?

You have block.

You feel pain because too much pressure

inside of you. Right?

Yes.

Need to get out what is inside you.

Liberate.

Take small sip of this whenever attack begins.

Everything you repress

must come out because it hurts you.

That's it?

That's it. You drink and after tell me how you feel.

Okay...

Small sips, small sips.

Medicine very potent. Dosify.

Take and after tell.

Pay at door.

Namaste.

Paz Gon-za-lez.

One.

Internet.

One.

O-N-E.

Finally!

Hi. I'd like a technician to come to my house this afternoon...

I can't believe it.

One!!

Oh, hi.

Yes, my address...

My Phone!

He took my phone!

My Phone!

My Phone!

My Phone, my phone!

Hey!

Come back here, you bastard!

Come back here!

Come back here, I'll kill you!

Stop!

FUCK you!

Give me my fucking phone!

Give me my fucking phone!

I'll gouge your eyes out!

Give me my fucking...

Help!

Police!

I'll rip off your...

Police!

Help, police!

Scram! Get lost!

Are you crazy?

For a shitty phone! It's not even an 8!

Great, thanks for all your help!

Everybody take note: @pazgonzalez.

At least tag me, right?

PAZ, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?

RELAX, I'M ON MY WAY.

Paz, finally.

Do you know what time it is?

Yes, it's time to tell the truth.

Why did you give that retard my parking spot?

A welcome gesture to make her feel like part of the Blackboard family.

If it was so important, why didn't you give her yours?

If it bothers you so much, we'll meet halfway

so that Alicia doesn't feel like you're trying to step on her.

Like I'm trying to step on her?

Look, Borja. I can't take this shitty job anymore.

Since your father died you've turned this company

into catwalk full of incompetent fools who can't even spell their own name.

This isn't an advertising agency anymore, it's a harem.

Why do you say that?

Please, there's not a single one you haven't banged.

Excuse me, you tried with me too and I shot you down.

That was ages ago, when you were still...

You've hired a bunch of deadbeats and I have to do their jobs for them.

You're paying me the same as 5 years ago

and of course much less than a man doing the same job.

The advertising industry isn't having its best moment.

Which must be why you just bought a fucking 200,000 euro sportscar.

Projecting a successful image is vital in this industry.

It's a personal sacrifice I have to make as president of this company.

What do you know about running a company, you moron?

You studied agriculture for 6 months and you can't even do that right.

Look at your plants.

I've been wiping your ass for 5 years in front of clients

so you can hire a brat whose only merit

is she has more followers than neurons.

I know what's happening here.

You're on the rag.

What?

Sometimes women get more touchy

because they have their period when...

I'm not on the rag, you dickhead.

Idiot!

It's not menopause...

What?

You're that age.

- It can come early. - It's over.

Good luck with your presentation. I quit.

Paz... Paz!

I'll get you some Ibuprofen!

Maximum tension today here at the Blackboard offices...

Are you crazy?

No, but you are if you give the Italian account to her.

She probably doesn't even know the capital of Italy.

Ho-hey! Venice.

No.

Hey, respect my opinion.

Hey, my selfie-stick!

This will do.

Hey!

That's my car!

That's my car, you wacko!

Paz, Paz, what are you doing?

I've had it!

I'm sick of likes, youtubers, influencers

and all that viral hashtag bullshit!

It's okay, it's okay.

What are you doing, you perv?

It's okay, calm down.

No, please, don't touch me.

What's wrong?

With me?

What's wrong with you?

Tell me.

Stop being so nice and understanding.

I don't want a pat on the back.

I don't want you to protect me

so you can feel like you're barely still a man.

- You're upset. - Please.

I don't need you to comfort me.

But sure, when you have no balls left

all you can do is comfort other people, is that it?

- What are you talking about? - Please,

we're not kids anymore.

You dumped me because you're incapable of taking risks.

In fact, it wasn't you who dumped me, but your mother.

- What? - Yeah.

She was an uptight old bag who hated me

for encouraging you to think for yourself

and because my mother wasn't one of her friends at the country club.

- She never thought that. - Of course she did.

You know how I know?

That old psychopath said it to my face.

That I was a whore and a drug addict because I studied Fine Arts.

A sick woman.

When she died I was hoping you'd start thinking for yourself

but all you did was find another mommy to think for you.

- That's not true. - For God's sake,

she gives you baby food.

- Well, yeah. - Gabriel.

Sweetheart... I'll be right there.

Go on, Mommy's here to pick you up.

I didn't know you resented me so much.

Neither did I.

Gabriel, what are you doing?

We have to go to the florist. They won't wait forever.

That's true, Gabriel.

They won't wait forever. Go on.

Hi.

Vane, I need to see you, I don't know what's wrong with me.

I took something and I'm saying whatever comes to mind.

I can't stop, I need to talk to someone.

Please, tell me you're at the gym.

- Yeah, come on over. - Thanks, buddy.

You had to be a woman!

It's always a woman!

Wait a second!

You, you.

Hi.

Can we talk a second?

Who the fuck are you?

The one you just said: "You had to be a woman" to.

Don't give me all that "woman unite" bullshit

because I have no idea who you are.

Actually you do. I'm the one who you wouldn't let in yesterday

and gave the finger to, remember?

Damn, what a pain in the ass.

Are you following me?

Are you one of those whores who fucked my ex-husband?

If he wants his car back, he should have thought of that before.

Before fucking all of those bitches,

collecting VD and giving it to me.

I don't know your husband.

You have no idea how lucky you are.

Then what the fuck do you want? I don't have all day, you fucking pest.

- Why wouldn't you let me cut? - You?

Yeah, me.

What that dumb ass face of yours?

I won't even let an old lady cut in line at the butcher's.

If one does, I knock out her teeth with a T-bone.

So you can't imagine what I would do to you.

I'd grind you up and make a croquette.

Yeah, but can't you just be nice to a fellow human being?

Fellow human being? You can stick one up my butt crack.

If you want to cross the street sooner,

move your ass and leave your shitty house earlier.

Now fuck off.

Because I got up this morning dying to beat the shit out of someone.

Wait a second...

Don't touch me, bitch! You don't know who I am.

Just calm down, relax.

Calm down? Who said I'm easy going?

Do you know me at all?

Did we go to school together? Have we met for coffee?

I'm not easy going, I don't calm down.

I'm electric!

Please, calm down. I only want to talk to you.

Are you lame? Didn't you hear me?

Don't touch me!

You fucking crazy bitch!

My brother's a lawyer! You're in big trouble, you cow!

Are you nuts or what?

I don't know what this Indian did, he gave me a potion

and I drank it and I'm okay,

but if someone provokes me I go crazy, out of control.

Unbelievable.

Are you listening to what I'm telling you?

Of course I am.

The selfie, the Indian, the potion...

I've done things I never thought I could.

L quit my job!

I told off my boss for all the crap I've had to take the last few years.

Vane, can you look me in the eye when I talk to you?

Yes, yes, sorry, sorry.

The thing is, I talked to Gabriel too.

I'll be right with you, just a minute...

That's enough.

Hey, give it back!

Whenever I try to tell you my problems you blow me off.

You can't look me in the eye for two fucking seconds.

All because of this shitty phone.

No, I want to see what's so important.

Oh, look. Your school friends chat group can't wait two minutes?

No, it can't, because Maria ran into Diego.

Stop this obsession with your ex already!

You don't know what happened! You only talk about yourself.

He blocked me on Facebook!

He must be fucked up.

He doesn't want to see photos of me with Raul.

That's why he blocked me, he's scared.

Yeah, scared of you.

And so am I.

He wants you to leave him alone.

What?

Face it already. He wants nothing to do with you.

Why are you saying this? You're being so cruel.

No, I'm being your friend.

You're going too far. I'm going to ask him.

You're going to call him after he blocked you?

Of course not, that would be stooping.

I was going to write him.

That's enough.

What are you doing?

The only thing that will help you right now.

You're completely sick. And the next time we meet to talk,

look me in the eye and listen to what I say.

You're crazy.

Exactly.

That's what I was telling you, but since you don't listen...

I can't believe it, you came.

Ma'am. Hello and goodbye.

He didn't answer the door?

- No, he didn't. - Come with me.

What are you doing? Hey!

- Ma'am... - Dante!

Do you hear that?

Yes, yes, yes.

Get to work. There's the router.

It can't be!

Relax, it's not what it looks like.

You're not banging your girlfriend in my bedroom?

She's not my girlfriend. You see? You're way off.

She's his girlfriend.

Hi.

Damn, now we have to start over!

- What? - Fuck.

You ruined the take.

Hey.

Have you ever considered doing porn?

Do you know what your son is doing in our bedroom?

That's better.

Go ahead.

He's fucking a girl while the boyfriend records it.

Toulouse has a boyfriend?

The girl's boyfriend.

Oh, okay.

You think it's funny?

Come on, they're just kids. They're exploring.

You're pulling my leg, right?

Please, Paz. Can you just relax a little?

Relax?

What for? To end up like you?

What do you mean by that exactly?

Look at yourself.

You're just a dipshit

who's so relaxed he can't go to the supermarket or open the front door.

Please!

One stripe a month!

Is that what you really think of my art?

That they're nothing but stripes?

You don't get it at all.

Have you any idea how much pain there is behind these lines?

Where do you get off judging my art?

I bare my soul

in every stroke.

What you see here is me. I'm Dante, I'm pain.

You sure are. I've been paying all our bills for two years

because you can't sell a painting or find yourself

a real job.

What, you want me to sell paintings in the street like English classes?

Look, I have two things to say to you.

One:

You have no talent.

And two:

Your name is not Dante, it's Roberto.

You're a pretentious arrogant schmuck

who always looks down on the poor mortals below.

Sorry...

I hadn't realized.

You're on the rag, right?

It's over.

Get out right now

and take that pervert son of yours with you.

So you are, right?

Why do men think whenever a woman gets angry she's on the rag?

Tell me!

It's not that, it's just sometimes

you're more sensitive

and it happens to coincide with your period.

Sensitive.

I'll show you sensitivity, but mine, not yours.

Step aside.

Watch how I bare my soul.

You don't have to ruin what...

Six months to finish a painting, give me a fucking break.

No, not yellow!

I'll give you an exhibition in two hours.

Listen to what I have to say...

Okay, go ahead.

This is obviously a hormone problem.

I think that if we calm down a bit

and quit fooling around...

It's new egg-based paint, maybe you can use it for shampoo.

This isn't egg-based.

Where do we go now?

You screwed up big-time. This place was awesome.

Relax, give her a couple days. She's on the rag.

I am not on the rag!

Thank God!

First I found an overload between the entry and exit terminal.

Then I followed the line to the street.

Another unit had to come to hold the ladder while I climbed the post.

Anyway, thanks to that I found the problem.

It's all burnt.

It needs new wiring, which means opening the street.

And to open the street we need permission from City Hall.

Then there's an added problem:

To rewire we have to cut off service to the whole building.

How long would the building be without Internet?

Well, between the test we have to perform,

installation, permits, coordination with the main office...

Three or four weeks.

Three weeks?

Or four.

And it will all be charged to your monthly bill.

What?

Of course, ma'am. This is all due to misuse of the terminal.

Out of courtesy you'll receive

two free days of unlimited access to all football matches

except league, King's Cup and Champion's League.

You're joking, right?

I'm not authorized to joke when working.

Now if you don't mind,

I just need you to sign here

-to proceed. - Of course.

I'm not paying a penny-

I'm sorry, but it's all I can offer.

Yeah, but the problem is yours, not mine.

No, no, look.

Rule 76B of the company regulations says the problem is yours

because the cable is connected to your home,

not the main grid.

What are you doing?

The cable isn't connected to my home anymore.

So you can take it

and stick it up your ass.

Ma'am, I haven't disrespected you at any time...

Get out of my house.

Get out!

Excuse me, ma'am. For the form.

From 1 to 10, how would you rate the service?

Did you bring the ice?

Where is Quique?

Find him yourself.

Eusebio, I can't believe it.

Yeah, great party, isn't it?

I'm calling the police.

No, I'm the authority here! What's the problem?

I can't sleep!

It's a party, right? This will entertain you.

The party is the reason I can't sleep, Eusebio.

Where's the owner?

Your attention, everybody!

Here's the song of the night!

Are you crazy?

What's your problem?

What's my problem?

It's Tuesday. I can't sleep!

Damn!

Come here! Look what your crazy neighbor is doing!

I can't believe it.

What a bitch!

She said she didn't have any fluid for the BBQ when I asked her!

Damn!

Have you got third-party insurance?

Not third party, not fourth.

When it rains, cocaine.

FLIGHT MODE

DANTE PAIN AND TRUTH

The cat!

BEA 10 MISSED CALLS

BORJA 8 MISSED CALLS

DANTE 7 MISSED CALLS

VANESSA 9 MISSED CALLS

Shit, shit, shit!

Tommy, I'm here.

I'm here to give you your medicine, sweetie.

Tommy, wake up.

Tommy?

Oh, no!

No, Tommy, please...

What do I do now?

Tommy!

Tommy, Mommy's home!

Paz!

What a surprise, you're here!

Yeah.

- How was your trip? - Great.

How's my pretty kitty Tommy?

Great.

He missed you a lot.

He's such a sweetie, huh? Me too. Let me hold him.

He just fell asleep.

Paz, Tommy's mine. Get your own cat.

Here.

I found him like this, I swear.

Like what?

Like...

dead?

No!

No, no...

But...

It can't be, Paz. What did you do to him?

You gave him his medicine, right?

Sure, I did everything you said.

You forgot!

But there's a reason. Please, listen to me.

Something really crazy happened. My life has turned around...

So has Tommy's life!

A deadly turn around!

Yeah, but I'm your sister and you still haven't heard me out.

But you're alive, Paz.

But I could be dead and you wouldn't care. Jesus, it's a cat, not a child!

Sorry, I didn't mean to say that.

Then what did you mean to say?

- Look, sis... - No, I know what the problem is.

You've always been jealous of me.

Excuse me?

Yeah, because I had...

a cat in my life and you didn't.

Are you hearing yourself?

What I feel is sorry for you.

You're a nutcase.

A nutcase who kept her cat like it was a goose.

You were getting him an ID!

I've got it. That's it.

The cat committed suicide. The poor animal

couldn't take all the hugs and petting anymore

or you whispering "pretty kitty" in his ear one more fucking time.

Damn it, I'm sorry.

Please, I'm begging you, forgive me.

How can you say all that to me after killing my cat?

Look me in the eye. I'm sorry.

You don't have feelings.

Yes, I do, but I can't control them.

I'm going to stop this situation, I promise.

I'm sorry, Bea.

Get out!

I need to talk to Amil Narayan right now.

He's in a meditative trance.

But I need to talk to him, so tell him I'm here.

Don't shout at me!

Out of my way, lady.

May I ask what you did to me?

I heal you?

Heal me?

You feel pain in chest?

No.

Feel anxiety?

No, but I've turned into a monster.

I'm saying horrible things to people. I want to stop.

Not possible. Process irreversible.

What do you mean, irreversible?

When toothpaste out of tube, cannot go back in.

No, there must be a solution.

If you did this to me, you have to be able to undo it.

Now you are a beautiful butterfly

and want to be a worm again?

Yes, because I said horrible things to my sister

and I just killed her cat.

That's not on me.

What did you say?

Not responsible for demise of people or animals.

You're not Hindu.

Yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes.

No, no. No, no, no.

No, no. I'm Manolo Ramos.

From Alcobendas.

And the 1000-year-old potion?

Water.

Tap water.

- So it was all a scam. - No, no.

Not a scam at all. I've always helped people.

I'm a registered therapist with a Master's in Psychoanalysis.

But without an exotic touch nobody listens to you anymore.

I don't get it.

The potion really changed me.

It's a placebo.

Suggestion and my expert professional help worked a miracle.

All of your strength and power are inside of you.

Then what do I do?

Control your strength and power and go on with your life. Move on.

Cannot put toothpaste in tube,

but you can brush teeth.

I just saved your life, little guy!

How cute!

Go ahead.

Fucking bitch, go ahead.

- Who is it? - It's me.

Your sister.

I don't have a sister.

What do you want?

I brought you something.

Unless it's my cat alive, I'm not interested.

And I doubt it, because the people from "Last Walk" just took him away.

From what?

Paz, the pet funeral parlor.

Please, let me in. It's only two minutes.

Please.

You won't let me come in?

Out of respect for my Tommy, no.

What was that?

This is what I wanted to talk to you about.

You think you can substitute my Tommy with another cat?

No, please, sis. I know that's impossible.

It's just that

I just saved this one's life.

And I couldn't think of anyone better to take care of him.

Wow.

I thought you thought I was pathetic for living alone with a cat.

I'm the one who's pathetic.

For living alone with a man and a teenager.

You broke up with Dante?

Please, forgive me.

I feel so guilty about Tommy

and what I said. I'm an idiot and you didn't deserve it.

But maybe I needed it.

I talked to the veterinarian

and he said Tommy died of a heart attack due to excess sugar in his blood.

Because he was too fat.

- Are you serious? - Yes.

So I didn't kill him?

Well, we both did, right?

- Look how cute he is. - Give him to me.

Run to your pretty mommy!

I'm only your auntie. Run along, you're going to be spoiled.

Yes.

That's your auntie Paz.

Don't worry, I'll never leave you alone with her.

And I'll talk normal to you,

not in that stupid lame tone.

- Are you coming in? - No.

I still have one more conversation pending.

Hey, come here.

Thank you.

GABRIEL, CAN WE MEET? SHOULD WE TALK?

Come in, princess, come in.

What's this?

What are you doing here?

Toulouse, the fridge.

The groceries.

Completely full.

Toulouse, the ham.

Recently sliced. Spanish brand.

But before you try the ham, try the water.

Don't burn yourself!

Nice and hot.

I changed the accounts and paid all the late bills.

It's the least I could do.

And Toulouse.

The computer.

No more problems with the company.

With this pen drive you can connect from anywhere.

What do you think?

I even made you lasagna, your favorite dish.

Like the good old days.

Oh, and by the way.

That little disagreement we had yesterday...

produced something very beautiful.

Our first painting together.

Look.

I called it "New beginnings."

That yellow you added gives it unusual strength.

No?

Toulouse, please.

The wine.

I know all of this isn't much.

It's only to show you that I can change.

For the three of us to be a happy family.

And Toulouse also has something he wants to say.

I want to apologize for sending you photos of my cock,

making pornos in your bedroom and not cleaning up my room.

A little lasagna?

No, thank you.

I've had enough.

What? You haven't even tried it.

I've had enough of this life, Dante.

Call me Roberto.

This is all beautiful, really.

But it's only a patch.

We were over a long time ago, I just didn't want to see it.

Are you kidding me?

We did all this for nothing?

I told you, this broad is fucking crazy.

Hand over my 50 bucks.

So you two made a bet?

No! I would never do that.

He's an idiot.

Paz, please.

Give me another chance.

- Let's try it. - It won't work out.

Why not? Where there's a will, there's a way.

But where there's a way, there's not always a will, right Toulouse?

What a bitch. Stop humiliating yourself for this broad!

Shut up before I rip your head off!

Darling,

I'll say it one last time.

Let us come home.

All right.

You can come back.

But only until I get back from my trip.

I need to take a few days.

I warned you, you wanker!

Stop hitting me, you crappy Argentinian!

Look, you shitty Canarian. You're going to live with your mother

-even if she's totally against it. - Hand over my 50.

I'm putting you on a plane

or a raft and sending you to the fucking island!

Hand over my 50 bucks!

I don't have 50 bucks.

- What do you mean? - I don't.

Because I spent it on all this, on the food.

I'M ALMOST AT YOUR HOUSE. SEE YOU OUTSIDE.

Alejandra. What are you doing here?

SURPRIIIISE!

What's your story?

You wanted to talk to him, tell me.

I only wanted to apologize for some things I said to him.

Yeah, he told me. Like that I manipulate him, right?

And you don't?

Trying to convince him that he doesn't want to marry me?

No, I only wanted him to think for himself.

But you're right.

- I should stay out of his life. - Too late.

But you won't get your way.

I won't let a loser like you jeopardize my wedding.

I have 470 guests confirmed,

including my relatives from Chicago,

my uncle Bernardo who is the government Chief of Staff,

and a member of the royal family who I still can't reveal.

With all those people, you won't even notice if Gabriel goes or not.

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

I hate you so much.

What do you want me to say?

That I'd be happy if Gabriel dumped you? Yes, very.

Because you're the typical

insecure girl who needs to control a man

to feel like she has some control over herself.

I don't understand how he puts up with you.

You must give great blow jobs, otherwise it makes no sense.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

There, there.

You were right about what you said.

I give awesome blow jobs.

That's always gotten me what I want, but...

today I started and he told me to stop.

I don't know if I want to hear this.

Well, I do!

Keep going!

But I didn't listen to him.

You know what he did?

He covered my nose

and when I opened my mouth to breathe,

he ran away!

Sorry.

You're laughing?

No.

You're bad!

Bad!

Alejandra, what are you doing here?

And you?

Paz, I'm sorry.

I wanted to talk to you face to face.

And because you forgot your cell phone.

How long have you two been together again?

That was ten years ago. I swear nothing has happened

-between us since. - Girl, I saw every Whatsapp.

What, I'm in love with her because we send each other Whatsapps?

Well, no.

That's not why.

I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Get in the car.

No.

Get in the car.

You're making me look bad.

I said no.

I'm a grown man and I do as I please.

Don't you dare.

Gabriel, do not touch that button!

Gabriel...

You'll regret this.

You were right.

About everything you said.

I ended up with someone much worse than my mother.

Dante is lucky to have you.

Well, he's not so lucky anymore.

Why? What happened?

What should have happened a long time ago.

So...

without Dante...

that means you're single again.

With nobody, single?

You could hardly say it.

You're much better at Whatsapp.

Well, you can't rewrite or erase things here.

Or send emojis.

- Yes, you can. - Yeah?

Was it that bad?

No.

It's just that I think...

that we should be alone.

Why now if I did everything you wanted?

You just answered your own question.

You can't do what I want.

You have to find out what it is you want.

Just like I have to.

You want to be on your own?

Nobody wants to be alone.

You're right.

I don't want to be alone.

I want to be with me.

Then...

what about us?

I don't know.

Right now all I can say is...

we'll always have Whatsapp.

Well said!

Well said!

And you!

Come on up! Don't get bummed out!

Come up and have a whiskey.

Hey, gorgeous!

Today you won't mind the music!

Today party hard!

When your buzz wears off and you realize she burned your car...

When my buzz wears off, he says!

I've been wasted since '92. Come on, son.

I don't want any more dramas in my life.

Only entertaining comedies.

So don't give me any more crap

about jealousy, tears and tragedy.

Don't call me for the same old reason.

Don't bother,

I'm not interested

anymore.

I'll say it again in case you don't get it.

I'm tired of being sad,

it's not worth it anymore.

I've decided to bury the sorrow and grief.

I'm going to forget

my troubles.

I don't want any more dramas in my life.

Only entertaining comedies.

So don't give me any more crap

about jealousy, tears and tragedy.

Who cares...

if everything is a lie?

Who cares?

Just let me laugh.

Who cares...

if every day will only...

Who cares?

...end up the same.

Stop complaining all the time.

It's boring.

What's the point?

Think that the future is still blank.

That nothing is written.

That anything is possible.

I've managed to wipe away my fears and phobias in one stroke.

It was easy.

They're stupid bullshit.

I don't want any more dramas in my life.

Only entertaining comedies.

So don't give me any more crap

about jealousy, tears and tragedy.

No!

Who cares...

if everything is a lie?

Who cares?

Just let me laugh.

Who cares...

If every day will only...

Who cares?

...end up the same.

I don't want any more dramas in my life.

Only entertaining comedies.

So don't give me any more crap

of jealousy, tears and tragedy.

No!

Who cares...

if everything is a lie?

Who cares?

Just let me laugh.

Who cares?

If every day will only...

Who cares?

...end up the same.

I don't want any more dramas in my life.