Original subtitles

[camera shutters clicking]

♪ Get ready 'cause I'm about to take off No stoppin'... ♪

[photographers yelling]

♪ 'Cause I'm settin' it off ♪

Baxter has eyes on you. Don't get cute.

[music continues]

[camera shutters clicking]

[Ron] Excuse me.

[indistinct chatter]

-[Clancy grunting] -[Mim] Why are we doing this?

-[Clancy] That wasn't so bad. -[Mim] That was bad.

-[all panting] -[Mim] That was really bad.

Hey! You're a really good swimmer, Kev.

Thanks. I played Jaws in Jaws.

Kevin, shut up. No, you didn't. You're so weird.

OK, seriously, he just, like,

swam that whole way with me on his back.

So, maybe, let's not be mean right now.

My entire life flashed before my eyes back there.

-[panting] Kev? -[whispers] Yeah?

It was really short... and really boring.

-[sighs] -Lewis...

What is it?

I just felt boob on my back.

I think that's first base.

Totally worth it, dude.

[alarm sounding]

-[Clancy] Is your underwear beeping? -No. Is yours?

No.

[alarm stops]

It was from bay water. They've clearly malfunctioned.

Oh my God, bay water! Ew!

Why are we sitting here talking? My God! Ew!

No, no, I can't. I literally cannot. We have to change right now.

-There's a gift shop. Let's go in there. -Ooh, OK!

Hey, dude, we should check that out.

[classical music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[Ron] Wait, you... OK.

Passports.

Uh...

[security] Ah...

Welcome, Count and Countess Van Der Holt.

And…

[in French accent] This is our personal secretary,

Suzanne. -Su... [sighs]

Suzanne.

[throat gargling]

Hello! Haw, haw, haw.

[in bad French accent] Yeah, Suzanne is my family name,

but, eh, my friends, they call me…

Frankie Fromage,

because cheese is so strong, and I am strong, like cheese.

I am a little bit more than a "secretary," yes?

Oui. Sí. Sí. Oui.

[in English] Yes, I am their bodyguard because I can punch, and my hands

are lethal weapons, you know, so watch out for me.

I will... [yelps]

-Oh! -[man] Whoa!

-Step back. -[Ron mutters]

He will pay for this. He is a count. He is very wealthy.

So put it on his tab. Where are you taking me?

It's just a precaution. He's not on the list.

Once my men are done searching him, he'll join you both inside.

Be as thorough as you need.

-Where'd they go? -I don't know. [sighs]

[Clancy chuckles]

What are you wearing?

We brought you guys cloaks.

-[chuckles] -We are not wearing those.

-OK, it's cold. I'll make it work. -[man] Whoa, whoa, hey!

Where'd you kids get those costumes, huh? You stay right there! I'm comin' down!

Shoot! Come on! And take off the wigs. You look ridiculous.

But the hats make us look older?

Totally.

[up-tempo electronic music playing]

♪ Run, run, run Can we make it to the sun? ♪

♪ Fun, fun, yeah What we missin'? ♪

♪ Got a high burning heat Water for my meltin' feet ♪

♪ Got a high burning heat Water for my meltin' feet ♪

[music ends]

What? It's just a dry cleaner's. Where's Carp and Clam?

Oh, excuse me. Do you know where Carp and Clam is?

-[man] The bar? -Yeah.

Uh, this used to be it. They had a fire. Closed down maybe six years ago.

[Mim] OK. Thank you.

-What are we supposed to do now? -I don't know.

Guys, look. What's that thing Mom's always saying?

"Stop wiping boogers everywhere?"

Ew, no. The other thing. About the library?

Oh! She's always talking about

how she always went to the library, 'cause she had no friends.

She's just trying to trick me into reading.

I'm not falling for it.

William is the dead poet guy she's always quoting.

Guys, this is Mom's library, and this number,

it's not a phone number, it's a Dewey decimal system.

It's a call number for a library book. Come on!

[banging]

It's locked.

How are we gonna get in?

[door opening]

That's convenient.

OK, um, think...

OK.

W.

I don't know who Dewey is, but his system sucks.

Got it. Top floor. OK.

♪ I do it just like this ♪

[funky music playing]

♪ I do it just like this ♪

♪ Ah, oh ♪

♪ I do it just like this ♪

-[music ends] -[Kevin] Phew...

Maybe there's some kind of message written inside the books.

Oh my God. So we have to read all of these?

-[Clancy sighs] -[Mim] No. No way.

This is where the book's supposed to be.

It's gone!

Maybe that Henry guy was right. Maybe this is a job for the police.

[sighs]

Wait.

That's William Butler Yeats. That's her favorite.

I mean, that can't be a coincidence.

Maybe we're not supposed to find a book, maybe we're supposed to find… this?

"Although you hide in the ebb and flow of the pale tide when the moon has set,

the people of coming days will know about the casting of my net."

Dude, your mom is into some Da Vinci Code stuff.

[sighs] What are we looking for?

Wait.

-What's that? -It's Mom's. I brought it.

[lock unlocks]

[hinges creaking]

No. Nope. No, no. No.

Not doin' it. Not doin' the stairs of doom tonight. No.

Whatever's down there is gonna lead to my parents.

Will it? Will it?

Or is this the part where the four spunky kids

go headfirst into the scary, dark unknown.

And she's getting the stool.

Oh my God. Don't do this.

I don't think we should do this. I think this is a bad idea.

Now the children are getting in.

I don't want this! I don't want this adventure!

[grunting]

No, no, no.

Oh my God, no.

[Kevin] Where's my night-light when I need it?

-Give me it! -[Lewis growls]

Don't worry, we... we got this!

[Lewis murmuring]

[Mim] Ugh, gross.

Ah! What is that? Satan? No! I hate that. I hate that.

I hate this. I hate this tunnel. What is this? Where are we?

-We should not be down here right now. -[echoing rumble]

I mean, OK, look, I know,

this night's been insane, and we might not make it out of this tunnel alive--

-Dude! -But, I mean, you... you're Mim.

-Yes? -You're not afraid of anything.

I mean, you're the bravest person I know. [chuckles]

I can't do half of the stuff that you do.

-Clancy, look where we are right now. -[chuckles]

We are walking through this dark, disgusting tunnel at your request,

in the worst all-nighter ever,

and we're doing it wearing the worst outfits on the planet.

What is this? I hate these shorts. They come to such an unnatural length.

They stop mid-thigh.

-[laughs] -You want brave? Mid-thigh is brave.

-[laughs] -[Mim sighs]

-Give me a hug. What are you doing? -[chuckles]

Aw, bring it in.

Just bring it out. Just you two. Do your thang.

[splutters and retches]

Spiderweb!

[spluttering]

Oh, man. That was a gookie one.

Hate to see the monster that made that thing.

Also, what is that?

[classical music playing]

How was your cavity search?

-Fun. -Need to find a way to reach Henry.

No, it's too risky. We just do what they want.

They'll disappear. Your family will be safe.

Wait a second, who's Henry? Henry, your best friend from college?

Let me guess. You didn't go to college together?

Honey, he's the U.S. Marshal assigned to my case.

He came over for Thanksgiving when Kevin was a baby.

I baked him cranberry cornbread, and he said he loved it.

It was a prescheduled home visit. He did love the cornbread. We all did.

Well, why wouldn't he love the cornbread?

Your Excellencies,

my wife, the Countess Van Der Holt.

Very beautiful.

Yes, I'm a very lucky man.

I have never forgotten that.

[giggles]

OK, that's it. That's it. That's it! Alright, we're going home.

-[gasps] -[Ron] Oh! Oh!

Ah! I... Shh...

-[Margot gasps] -[Ron muttering]

It touched my mouth. What happens if it goes in my mouth?

Remember when Kevin drank a glow stick and poison control said to give him milk.

Can I get milk? I need some milk! Can I get some milk?

Please excuse our assistant, he has not been feeling well.

Food poisoning. [in French] Terrible.

-[Ron retching] -[in English] Poisoning of the brain.

[spitting]

-[Margot chuckles softly] -[sighs] You know, you know what?

[chuckles] I think I'm OK.

-I'm alright, I'm OK. -[they chuckle]

-You know what? I think… I overreacted. -[Leo laughing]

[all laughing]

I've a strong immune system. I'm... I overreact a bit. Nice to meet...

-[screams] -[all gasp]

[onlookers gasp and scream]

Oh God... I think I'm OK.

-[retches] -[security] Move back!

-[Margot] No... I... Wait... -[Ron retching]

Oh!

[Mim] It just looks like somebody's gross house.

What kind of freak would actually live down here?

[woman] What kind of freaks would go snooping around

when they didn't live here?

Good point.

[they scream]

-No! Kevin, no! -[woman] Start talking.

How did you find this place?

Our mom had a key! Her name's Margot Finch!

Don't know her. Wrong answer.

-[Kevin yelps] -No. Mathilde Tremblay!

He means Mathilde Tremblay.

I think she sent us here.

-How do you know Mathilde? -[Kevin] She's our mom!

I think she's our mom. Please don't hurt me.

[woman] Oh, yeah. You have her eyes.

So, you know her?

Yeah. We were like sisters.

Wow. Mom is not like I thought she was.

Oh. Right.

[sighs] I just got off a job.

Oh, where do you wo...

Oh, you... you stole that stuff.

Not like a big deal or anything. We steal stuff all the time, right?

One time, I took two puddings at lunch. I'm a real bad boy.

Kevin. Could you maybe just…

tell us everything you know about my mom?

We grew up together. Pulling jobs. Just kids' stuff, you know.

Scamming tourists, pickpocketing, petty theft, your basic B and E.

Your idea of "kid stuff" is, like, a lot different than ours.

Then we got mixed up in some bad stuff with this guy named Jean-Paul.

J-Jean-Paul! That's the guy Henry was talking about.

He's in prison now, but his people, they came after my mom

and now they're planning this huge job, and we're trying to find her.

Hm.

What makes you think she wants to be found?

That necklace you're wearing.

She left us the same one to get down here.

She left us tons of clues, they all led here.

I think she wanted us to find you so you could help us.

[woman] Your mom gave me something

before she went into witness protection.

She said I would know if it ever came time to open it.

[suspenseful music plays]

[beeping]

-[Clancy] What is that? -[Kevin] It's a pager.

My God, the olden days were tragic.

It's not a pager.

It's an old tracking device.

[beeping]

[clanging]

[Ron] OK, I'm much better now.

Ahh... OK.

Yeah. That's all.

No more is comin'... [groans]

[grunts]

Yeah, I think I'm done.

Oof! Stay away from the seafood dip.

If I'm giving advice, stay away from the seafood dip

because it's mayonnaise-based.

So, it's just not a good call.

So, just stay awa-- [groans]

[murmuring and farting]

Ah!

[murmuring]

[farting]

Mm, OK. [laughs] I thought it was coming out of both ends.

But it didn't… [sighs] It didn't.

We're good. Everybody, we're good.

What happened to your accent?

What happened to my...

[in bad French accent] How dare you, sir?

What? Who? Sir!

How dare you...

say something like that to me

-in front of the royal family? -Save it.

-Do what? -We put in a call to your consulate.

These... are fake.

There is no Count or Countess Van Der Holt.

Well, what time did you call?

-Maybe it was lunch and they-- -Keep on them.

-I'm gonna go and get this sorted out. -Yeah.

No, I'm saying, to get a croissant or…

[groaning and farting]

Both ends.

Alright, she must have had a personal tracking device

implanted on her in case something ever happened.

The Grand Concert Hall downtown.

Duran Duran! They said something about the Crown of Duran Duran!

Durámuran? The Crown of Durámuran?

Oh, Lord... It's the Holy Grail.

They've been tracking that for years.

Your mom and I tried to steal it from the Louvre. [sighs]

That's a good bedtime story.

There's an event tonight at the Grand Concert Hall. A big gala.

You know what? If the crown is at that gala, so is your mom.

OK, great! Let's go!

Um... no. I'll handle it. OK? You guys stay here. It's not a kids' job.

No. We have to go. We're not gonna get hurt, I promise.

Aw, that's so sweet. I don't care if you get hurt.

You'll slow me down, blow my cover.

Uh, we're not slowing anybody down. We can blend in, right?

Is that so, General?

Actually, this insignia is for the rank of commander.

But historically correct facts are not important right now.

Non-negotiable, OK?

Your mom sent you here so I would keep you safe, not send you off to get killed.

Make yourselves comfortable. There are video games, peanut butter…

-I'm allergic to peanuts. -Same.

[sighs] You're not coming.

OK, fine.

But, uh, just out of curiosity, what is your plan?

I'll go into an air vent that'll lead me to the subway

and take me directly to the Grand Concert Hall downtown.

Anything else?

Yeah, which vent was that?

[grunts] The one right over...

Please don't find me and kill me. I just need to get my mom back.

[sighs]

-Not bad. -[chuckles]

Although I definitely will find you and kill you.

-You'll kill her, but we're cool, right? -Thanks, lady.

[they scream]

["Bad Things" by PINS playing]

♪ Big dreams, baby Yeah, we have big... ♪

Oh! Come on!

♪ A taste for venom and expensive... ♪

-I'm not allowed on public transport-- -We know!

[door chimes]

-♪ We have big dreams ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪

♪ And we're gonna make you do bad things ♪

Where now?

-Um... This way! Come on. -[Kevin] OK!

♪ We're not good ♪

♪ We don't do what we should ♪

[Mim] We're never getting past that security.

I don't know about you guys, but we might be able to get in.

Have you seen yourself?

Oh, you're right. It's the cravat.

♪ Big dreams, baby Yeah, we have big dreams ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh heaven knows We can count our sins ♪

[Clancy sighs]

♪ Big dreams, baby Yeah, we have big dreams ♪

Hey, what about up there?

♪ Heaven knows We can do bad things ♪

[Clancy] Window's open.

You'll never fit.

[music ends]

I'll do it.

Oh, doesn't your mom have a rule about breaking into buildings at night?

My mom is not here.

-He took off the cape. -OK.

-[Lewis] Hold my hat. -Snap!

[grunting]

[groans] Come on, Lewis.

[grunting]

Make it happen, Lewis. [grunts]

[grunting]

-You can give me a hand with this part. -[Mim] Right.

-We were watching. -[Kevin] I had the hat.

-[Clancy] Sorry. There you go. OK -[Mim] There it is.

[Kevin] You got this!

-[Lewis grunts] -[Kevin] Squeeze! Squeeze!

[Lewis grunts]

-Oh my God. -Oh my God.

Look at that.

-He's really doin' it- -[Lewis yelps]

-[thud, clatter] -Uh-oh. It's OK. Walk it off.

-You're good. -[Clancy chuckles]

-Does he know where to go? -I hope so.

OK.

[owl hooting]

[music continues]

Huh.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey! What are you guys doing back here?

Uh, we... We were just, um…

Oh my gosh, we've been wandering around this place forever.

So, uh, which way to the stage? Yeah, we just need to set up.

Just got in from Denver. What a cluster that airport is. Am I right?

Never been there.

We're the kid musical ensemble booked for tonight.

Paul Revere's Midnight Ride?

Never heard of us? We're pretty big on YouTube.

Mim, show him the video.

The viral one.

[Mim] Uh...

[music playing on phone]

Two-point-three million hits and climbing.

Uh... [sighs]

Come on. You think we dress like this for kicks?

Alright, alright, come on.

Come on.

[indistinct chatter]

[Kevin] Good evening. Tut-tut. We are Paul Revere's Midnight Ride.

We have an amazing performance planned

for everyone here.

So, to kick the night off,

we have Cool Clancy on the cello.

-Let's strike up the band! -[tepid applause]

[indistinct murmuring]

[whispers] Sit down.

[whispers] Kevin...

[mimics cello playing]

[whispers] No. [sighs] I can't... I'm not like you.

[clears throat]

-[violin screeching] -[guests gasping]

-[Lewis blowing] -[faint squeaking]

[screeching continues]

[sighs] I knew it. I knew it!

Uh... Security?

We got a mess down here on the stage. Kids in pilgrim shoes.

-[oboe squeaks] -Clancy, we need you to go. Now.

I can't play in front of all these people.

Of course, you can. You got this! Quickly!

-[sighs] I'm not ready. -Yes, you are.

-You're so talented. -I need backup ASAP, please.

We got kids in puffy shirts. I need backup!

-Backup ASAP, please! Thank you. -Wait, wait.

[Lewis continues playing]

[sighs]

Alright, we've got new orders to take 'em to the embassy.

FBI is involved. Apparently, there's some security risk.

Take care of it.

-[guard 2] Yes, sir. -[Leo speaking French]

[Margot speaking French]

Oh, you two have a secret code now, a secret language.

Is that what's going on? That's... perfect.

-[Leo speaking French] -What does that mean, Leo?

-Duck! -[Ron] What?

-Whoa! -[guard 2 grunts]

[cello music playing]

[music continues]

-[guard 3 grunts] -What's happening?

[guard 3 grunting]

[Margot grunting]

[guard 4 grunts]

-[Leo grunts] -[guard 3 groans]

[Margot grunting]

[Ron yells]

Uh, cancel that. They're legit.

[coughs]

Let's go.

[Ron] Woo-hoo! Oh!

Where'd you learn that? Did you just kill that guy?

No, I just crushed his windpipe a little.

He'll be fine with immediate medical attention.

"Crushed his wind pi--" Have you ever killed anyone?

No! Our paramilitary training taught us how to neutralize a target

in under four seconds using mostly non-fatal tactics.

"Paramilitary training"? "Non-fatal"?

You made me open up a jar of mustard for you last week.

You faked it!

-I faked it. -Oh my God. Is our whole life a lie?

-What do we... What do we... What... -[Margot panting]

-[grunts] -[Ron] Oh!

Who did I marry?

-Shh! -[distant cello playing]

Is that Clancy?

-[panting] -[distant cello playing]

Sounds like Clancy.

[cello playing]

Clancy.

[guard grunts]

-[Ron] Ah! -[guests gasping]

-[woman screams] -[cello stops]

[indistinct chatter]

-Um... -Mom?

[Margot] Kids, stay there. I'm coming for you.

["I Want Candy" by Mel C playing]

[panicked murmuring]

[Ron screaming]

[groaning]

[guests gasp]

[kids] Whoa!

[grunting]

♪ I know a girl who's tough but sweet ♪

[kids] Oh!

♪ She can't be beat ♪

Mom!

♪ Got everything that I desire ♪

Is this what Mom does when we're asleep?

[grunting]

[guard screams]

[guests scream]

♪ I want candy ♪

Oh... knock it off!

-Dad does not look good. -Nuh-uh.

[music continues]

Oh my God, she looks amazing!

There's a guy there.

♪ Ain't no finer girl in town ♪

Oh!

Make way! Move!

Let's go! Make way. Move aside, folks!

-[Leo grunts] -[kids] Oh!

-Crown. Get the-- -[man screams]

[bodyguard] Back up!

♪ I want Candy ♪

♪ I want Candy ♪

[kids scream]

♪ I want Candy ♪

Come on, jump!

[Clancy yells]

-[guests gasping] -[music stops]

-Clancy. -Hi.

We gotta get outta here.

-Come on! -[Ron] How did you guys get here?

-[overlapping voices] -[siren blaring]

[Clancy] Is that gonna be my car? Can I learn to drive?

[Mim] So great. Then we found a secret hideout.

[Kevin] Then, Jay tracked you with your GPS chip.

[Margot] Kids, I'm sorry I got you involved in all this.

No, Mom. I'm sorry for what I said.

You're not pathetic, you're amazing, and I know you might miss your old life,

but we had to find you and try and get you back.

Just please don't go.

Honey, I would never leave you!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hey, old friend.

Looks like your grand plan worked. Here I am. And I…

pulled a twofer.

Course you did.

-Yeah. -[Ron] Sorry, do we know her?

Oh, don't worry, she's a good guy. Well, kind of a bad guy.

She's a good bad guy.

-We should go. -Go.

I'm gonna keep 'em busy, erase all the footage…

Hey, you. No, no, no.

Hand over the Rolex.

[groans]

You have, like, a thousand.

Thank you, good bad guy.

Thank you. I knew you'd know what to do.

Yeah. I was ready. I just never pictured it with… kids.

-Yeah. -Your kids. But…

I kind of like it.

Thank you.

[siren continues blaring]

You live here? In downtown?

It's actually more of a safe house that I keep for emergencies, but, yeah.

[Kevin] That's so cool! Dad, isn't that cool?

Eh, is it cool? Or is it fiscally irresponsible?

You know, because rent downtown is very expensive, son.

Hey, thanks for sittin' on the towel, bud.

I appreciate you not getting vomit on the Corinthian leather.

-You understand, right? -Yeah, I understand, Leo.

Honey, how's your arm? What happened?

Oh, I don't know. It was a blur.

Lot of fists were flying around. And I think I punched a couple of guys.

Uh, I mean...

I think that may have happened when you fell down, awkwardly.

-Probably only a bruise. -I think it's a bit more than a bruise.

-Uh, maybe like a funny bone. -Nah, I don't think it's a funny bone.

Uh, you know.

-Uh-huh. -[Leo] OK, well, you know.

-I mean... -[Ron] Agree to disagree.

Actually, I'm gettin' a bit numb, so it's probably gonna affect my work.

Oh. Uh, you're a surgeon?

No, Leo. I am…

a pastry chef, and I need my finger strength and dexterity, so there you go.

Is that a real Capicchioni?

-[Margot] We're all safe. -You know that. [laughs] Yeah, it is.

-[Clancy] Can you play? -[Leo] Sure.

There he goes, exposing more flesh. Who is he doing that for?

His arms are like Popeye's. It's unbelievable.

Alright.

I activated emergency protocol. We're all safe now.

Just have to wait for Henry to contact me.

How much is this worth, anyway?

I'd say somewhere in the ballpark of 20 million.

[Kevin] Crazy! Twenty million?

We're giving it back. It doesn't belong to us.

But, Mom, you used to steal stuff all the time when you were younger.

-It was pretty cool. -No.

Why can't we just say we lost it or something?

Kev, listen to me. I was wrong.

I paid a hefty price for it.

And now, it's put the people I love in danger.

OK? I don't ever want any of you guys doing anything I did.

I made a lot of bad choices, and hurt a lot of people.

And we really regret it. Don't we, Leo?

Well, eh…

Of course, we do. We had to go into witness protection to escape Jean-Paul.

Well, actually, you went into witness protection.

I just couldn't get on board with that.

With Jean-Paul away in prison, which I have you to thank for,

there was an opening for a new Head of Operations.

[Clancy] Whoa.

-Mom, what's going on? Who is that? -[Leo] You remember Elise?

She's with me. I sent her to get you.

Oh! OK, I knew it. [laughs]

I knew he was a bad guy. Well, how about this?

Huh?

How about that on your Corinthian leather?

That's not cool, Ron.

You're not cool.

After we found you this time,

with the help of that little meatball and his video--

Hey! Don't call my brother a meatball.

I knew the only way I was going to get you to help me steal the crown

was if you thought our lives were in danger.

Your moral compass,

always getting in the way of us having a good time.

-So you never went into protection. -[Leo] No.

-[scoffs] -[Leo] I mean, come on, admit it.

You must be bored out of your mind.

Driving carpool, going to Costco.

You're happy with Strawberry Shortcake? No offense, Ron.

-Offense taken, Leo. -You can't talk to our dad like that.

The plan was simple in the beginning.

Get you to help steal the crown, frame you for it, then we disappear.

But admit it…

you had fun.

Spark's still there.

Come with me.

What's it gonna be, Mathilde?

You're right.

Spark is still there.

And the name is Margot.

[laughing]

How about that, Leo? Margot and Ron.

-Right? Like a power couple. Like Rargot. -Gross.

-We could be Rargot or Maron. -Meet me at the dock when it's done.

Baxter will have the boat ready.

I believe this belongs to me.

Well...

I guess this is goodbye, Mathi...

Margot.

Have fun explaining this to the Feds.

-[Elise] In the chair. Both of you. -[door opens]

-Yes, is this the police? -[door closes]

-[Elise] Yes, I-I'm calling because… -It's OK.

I think I have some information on somebody who's committed a crime.

I think it's a... a couple.

Um...

I mean, it's a man and a woman, and the woman is clearly the ringleader.

Yeah, well, she has blonde hair, blue eyes.

Um, she's wearing a sparkly, awful pink dress.

-[whistles] -And the man is…

-What? -[Elise] Um, a mismatched...

No, the woman is clearly the one who's running the show. Yeah.

[whispers] Rain? Why are you doing rain? It's not--

I'm hoping you can get here quickly, because I'm not sure what to do.

No, I'm just a neighbor, I saw them walking in,

I was just minding my own business…

[whispers] What hat? You need a hat?

…I would say you should bring everybody possible.

-[whispers] I got it. -[whispers] What?

[whispers] I got it.

-I got this. -[Elise] There's so many.

[rock music playing]

What are you doing?

[screams]

[kids] Oh!

[grunting]

-[Margot groans] -[Mim] Mrs. Finch!

[Elise screams]

-[Kevin] Yeah! -[Clancy] Mom!

[Mim] Oh my God. No, no, no. Oh, man!

[Margot grunts]

Mom! Dad, do something!

I got it. I got it.

[kids screaming]

[Margot yelps]

Honey, I-I have the gun. Want me to throw it to you?

[panting]

-Shoot her! -What? Shoot her? I...

[grunting]

I-I-I can't shoot a gun. I've never shot a gun before in my life!

I could really use some help!

-[Elise yelps] -OK, OK, OK.

[Elise groans]

-[Ron screams] -[gunshot]

[music fades out]

Oh no.

-[Ron] Oh! -[panting]

-Hey, are you OK? Are you alright? -Yeah.

-[Ron] OK. -Ow!

Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry.

[gasps] Oh my God.

-[sighs] -I killed someone. I killed somebody.

[sighs]

-[groaning] -[Kevin] Dad, she's moving.

-[laughs] Yeah, she's moving! -You didn't kill her!

I didn't kill somebody. Oh, she's waking up.

We gotta go before Leo gets away, or this whole thing becomes my mess.

-Come on. Let's go! -[Ron] Right, right. Go, go, go.

[dramatic music playing]

I can't believe you picked up that spider, Mr. Finch. That was so brave!

Oh, I don't know about brave, Lewis. And I knew it was harmless.

Harmless? That was a wolf spider, one of the most poisonous in the world.

It had an egg sac on its back, too, which is, like, millions of poison babies.

[voice quivers] Oh.

Mom, no, no. This isn't our car.

Oh my God, she's hot-wiring that car.

[giggles]

-[Clancy] Mom, you can hot-wire a car? -[sighs]

Teach us to do that!

No! You should never do this.

OK, what if our phones are dead, there's a zombie apocalypse,

there's a virus going around, then, can you--

-[all] Kevin! -[groans]

[engine revving]

Look, guys! Look, it's Leo.

-[Ron] There he is! -[engine revving]

-[engine starts] -[Kevin] My God, Mom!

We got it. Come on, get in!

[indistinct shouting]

Come on.

-Hey, honey! -Yeah?

-Leo was wrong about one thing. -What?

I'm the one who drives carpool.

Yeah, you are.

[rock music playing]

You got this!

[Ron] Let's save our family.

Woo-hoo... Oh...

-Look at this! This is limited edition! -Alright.

-Heated seats! -[Margot] Belts on.

Nice, this is so nice.

-[Margot] Focus. We gotta go. -Here we go.

-[engine revving] -[Kevin] Not that way!

-Sorry, I'm sorry. -Dad!

-[Mim] No! Mr. Finch! -The adrenaline pumping.

-[Clancy] Go! -[Margot] Honey, drive!

[Ron] Here we go!

Oh, wow, this handles great!

Oh! This thing's got some pickup!

[sings] Limited edition!

[engine revving]

[Margot] There he is!

He's going left!

-[tires screeching] -[all screaming]

[panting]

This is an adrenaline rush for sure. [laughs]

You're doing great, honey.

[music continues]

[engine revving]

[gear shifts]

[engines revving]

[Ron] Oh! See how I took that turn?

[Margot] Cut the curb. Don't swerve so big.

Dad! What now?

What? I don't know. I hadn't thought that far in advance, pal!

What?

-Dad, I have an idea. -What?

This is a laser pen. Maybe I could--

What are you doing with a laser pen?

-[Clancy] No! -[Mim screams]

Oh!

-[Mim screams] -Oh, man!

[Mim screams] What is happening?

Oh, no, I don't think that came from us.

That was us!

-That was us. -We'll leave a note.

-[laughs] -[engine revving]

OK. Here we go. I got him.

[tires screeching]

Ron, watch out!

[engine revving]

[all sigh]

[indistinct shouting]

[kids screaming]

We are all going to die.

-Roll down the window. I have an idea! -What? OK.

[engine revving]

Hey! Hey, Leo!

Leo! You wanna dance with the minivan, man?

Well, check out this side-impact safety!

What?

-[Leo grunts] -[tires screeching]

[Leo gasps]

[screaming]

[tires screech]

[dramatic music playing]

[Ron] Everybody's OK? OK.

I got Leo! You get the kids!

-Uh, everyone OK? -[kids] Yeah.

[Ron grunts]

-[panting] -[Ron] Leo!

Leo!

I got him, honey. I got him.

-[groaning] -[fabric tearing]

[grunting]

Oh, any excuse to whip out the guns, right?

-Uh... -[Clancy] Mom?

-Yeah? -Dad might need you more than we do.

I think you're right.

[Ron] I got him! [grunting]

[yelling]

[groans] Why are your fingers so freakishly strong?

Oh, you mean my incredible finger strength and dexterity?

I'm a pastry chef, Leo!

[panting]

I'm not going to jail. I have lunch duty on Monday.

[grunts]

[dramatic music continues]

["Feeling Golden" by Hamil plays]

[gasps]

-Dude. -[laughs]

-Dude! -We did it!

-Whoa. -[laughs] Yes!

Don't mess with a pastry chef, or his family,

'cause you will get the hammer!

Yeah! You meatball!

[indistinct shouting]

[Margot] You're my daughter alright.

-[music continues] -[cheering]

♪ I feel, I feel golden I feel like glitter on my shoulders ♪

[police sirens blaring]

[Kevin] And then we went up to this super cool house,

but really, it was just his safe house.

And then he told us that he's a bad guy and not the good guy.

-[in high voice] What? -Yeah, basically, Leo...

So...

wow.

[chuckles]

Wow. You certainly had an exciting life.

-Before me. -Yeah.

You know, you, you...

You and me, we were always…

I mean, I always knew you were out of my league, but now I get it.

I was your cover.

Right?

-This life we built-- -Honey, we are real.

-We are? -Yeah.

Of course this is real.

Yeah, no, I thought, I mean, I thought so.

I love you, and I love our family.

Mr. and Mrs. Finch, my mom and dad are gonna pick me up at eight o'clock.

-Oh! -Lewis, you're right.

-[Ron] Sugar balls. -[Margot] Yeah.

-Henry! -[Ron] Henry!

[Kevin] Angus!

Henry, we're comin' to you.

[Ron] Well, well, well.

Old roommate Henry from University of Nebraska.

Go Huskers!

Hope there's no hard feelings.

You know, you were kind of a hero tonight.

Seriously. You totally saved us with the whole fake kid band story.

Then when we were swimming, too.

Ye-Ye-Yeah, but it wasn't, like, a big deal or anything--

No... it was a big deal, Kev.

You're a really brave, kid.

Oh my God.

This was literally the craziest night we are ever going to live...

and I didn't post any of it.

Waste.

Hey.

Um...

I'm sorry. I've been kinda mean lately.

I think, sometimes, I get jealous.

Jealous of me?

[Clancy] Yeah. I dunno. It's just...

It seems so easy for you to be yourself,

not care what anyone thinks.

I wish I could be more like that.

I wish I could be more like you. You're the best cellist ever.

I mean, I'm not good at anything.

What? You tell the most amazing stories!

You're so creative.

I mean, the stuff you make up, it's crazy,

and-and weird, and smart.

-You're a pretty cool little brother. -Thanks. You're a pretty awesome sister.

[chuckles]

[sighs]

Um, Mom…

I wanna go to Boston.

I want to apply to the Berklee School of Music Summer Program.

And I know what you're gonna say.

I'm too young, I can't stay in the city by myself--

Yes.

Y-Yes what?

Henry, I'm going through your files, OK?

[Clancy] Wait, what? You were a musician?

Not just a musician. You were a cellist.

-Yeah. -Wow.

The Pescatrici Quartet wasn't just a crime syndicate.

How do you think we got into those fancy events?

Berklee's one of the best programs in the world, and you're ready for it.

-[laughs] Wait, for real? -You're a fantastic cellist.

I happen to know a thing or two about that subject.

I happen to know absolutely nothing about that subject.

But I do agree with your mom.

You are fantastic.

[Margot] You're going to Boston.

It's time.

[both laughing]

This mean I get a phone, too?

-Yeah, sure. -No.

Oh, no.

-Y-Yeah. -Yeah. OK.

-[Mim] To Boston! -[giggles]

Hey.

Hi.

You, um... you left your jacket on Joey's boat.

Right. Thank you. [laughs]

[Travis] How was the swim?

-Awful. Yeah. -[laughs]

Well, it was a really nice jump.

-Is that the senior? -[Clancy] Glad to see you're not in jail.

-[Travis] No, not in jail. -Right. Yeah.

I'll talk to you at school.

-See you. -Bye.

[inaudible]

Hi, guys. Why are you all in costume?

-Is everything OK? -[all] Yeah.

[Kevin] Totally!

-[Mim] Yeah. -[Ron] Couldn't be better if you ask me.

Yeah, we're just watering the flowers.

-No. -Uh-oh.

Lewis, there's obviously something going on here...

and I think I know what it is.

Mrs. Patoc, I can explain--

Lewis, you forgot to wear your special pee-pee underpants.

Mom, I don't need 'em anymore.

Awesome sleepover.

Totally.

Yeah!

-[Mrs. Patoc] Thanks for everything. -[Mim] Yep.

-[Ron] Anytime. -We should do it again sometime.

-Nope. -Or not.

-[all] Bye! -[Lewis] Thanks, Mr. Finch.

-OK. -Take care.

-[sighs] -That's it, right?

We can get back to our normal lives now, right?

Probably.

Probably?

-Probably? -[Margot sighs] Gotta get these shoes off.

[Ron] OK, take them off, then can you answer the question?

-[Margot] I did. -[Ron] You said "probably," which means--

[Margot] Yes, that's the answer.

[Ron] That implies there's more I need to know.

[Margot] Any cupcakes left?

["Do It Like This" by Daphne Willis playing]

♪ They wanna see us, wanna be us Nah we don't play ♪

♪ Gettin' fancy, edge of your seat ♪

♪ Groove makin' you move C'mon get on your feet ♪

♪ It's like, one, two, what's the move I got two, three, follow me ♪

♪ I got four, five, that's the vibe Like six, do it like this ♪

-♪ Get up, right now ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Get up ♪ -♪ Do it like this ♪

-♪ Get up, right now ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Get up ♪ -♪ Do it like this ♪

♪ Woo ♪

♪ Hey ♪

-♪ Woo ♪ -♪ Here we go, come on♪

♪ Everybody's gonna have A really good time ♪

♪ Got a crew ready to do What's poppin’ tonight, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, you know it’s the place to be ♪

♪ So get next to me We be feelin’ so fine ♪

♪ It's like, one, two, what's the move I got two, three, follow me ♪

♪ I got four, five, that's the vibe Like six, do it like this ♪

-♪ Get up, right now ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Get up ♪ -♪ Do it like this ♪

-♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪ -♪ Hey ♪

-♪ Do, do, do, do ♪ -♪ Ooh yeah, feelin' so good ♪

♪ Ooh yeah, feelin' so fine ♪

♪ Ooh yeah, feelin' so good ♪

♪ Feelin' so good ♪

-♪ Get up, right now ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Get up ♪ -♪ Do it like this ♪

-♪ Get up, right now ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Get up, right now ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Get up ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

♪ Do it like what? ♪

♪ Like this ♪

♪ Woo ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Woo ♪

♪ Do it like this ♪

-♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪

-♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Do it like this ♪ -♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪

-♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪

-♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Do it like this ♪ -♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪

-♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪ -♪ Hey ♪

-♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Get up, right now ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Get up ♪ -♪ Do it like this ♪

-♪ Get up, right now ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Get up, right now ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

-♪ Get up ♪ -♪ Woo ♪

♪ Do it like what? ♪

♪ Like this ♪

[upbeat music plays]