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- [Ainsley] You fall in love, get married, buy a house.
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(crowd cheering)
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It's beautiful, but this story isn't about that.
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In a very big, very broad, very married social circle,
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five of us shared one painfully solid bond.
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We'd all crash landed on the table behind the speakers,
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better known as the singles table.
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- Ben, I seem to notice that you have
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an ice cube in your mouth at most times.
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- I find it's quite refreshing.
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You want one? - Oh no, thank you.
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- [Ainsley] Liz and Ben had absolutely nothing in common,
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making them the obvious choice
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for the tragically ill-fated setup.
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- So, how did you go with the gift registry?
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- In what sense?
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- What'd you get?
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- The sheet set.
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- I spent less on my first car.
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- Update, this is diabolical.
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I'm three and half Pinos in, I may need be help.
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Ridiculously hot, but he lives in a Caravan.
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- You're still a glass and a half away from crisis,
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and I am on it.
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- What'd he say?
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- [Ainsley] Harry was Liz's best friend,
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but his mother suspected there was more to the story.
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- Rishan, table five.
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So much younger, beautiful hair, good hips.
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She knows you're a doctor.
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You should be speaking to her.
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- I will. - [Ainsley] He wouldn't,
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because Harry was gay.
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- Rishan's favorite singer, Shania Twain, just like you.
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I'll go talk to the band.
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- [Ainsley] He just never quite found the words
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to tell his mom.
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- Hey mate, can you check,
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my husband's not walking over here, is he?
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- [Ainsley] My landlord slash self-appointed life coach
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Heather, wasn't even single.
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- Which one is he?
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- Short, tall enough you'd lose him in a crowd,
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shocking here.
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Got more hair on his eyebrows than his head.
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He's probably smiling, wouldn't know why.
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- Um. - As for myself,
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the official reason I was single
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was that I just hadn't met the right person.
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God, selfish is the last word I would use to describe you.
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- Thank you.
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- [Ainsley] The unofficial reason was I had met him.
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I worked with him every day.
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- I said, can you give me an example
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of your so-called selfish behavior?
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She said, you go to the gym two hours every day.
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- That's just healthy.
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And he was married, technically.
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- I'm not.
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(sitar music)
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- They look so happy, don't they?
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- Ainsley, that's not happiness.
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That's terror dressed up in optimism.
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- Heather!
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- Do you know how much control issues she's got?
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She can hardly breathe, and check out his eye line.
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Straight to that bridesmaid's ass,
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probably shagged already.
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- Harry is the bride's cousin.
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- Oh shit, sorry Harry.
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Probably hasn't shagged the bridesmaid.
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- No, I think he has.
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- There you go.
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If anyone on this table can identify
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one genuinely happy couple here, next round's on me.
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- The drinks are free. - One couple, just one couple.
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- Okay, 10 o'clock, the older couple
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with the matching haircuts.
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- No, you see, I know that Denise
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has been sleeping with her orthodontist
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for the past four years.
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- Okay, 12 o'clock, the balding guy.
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I mean, look at the way he's looking at that blonde.
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That is love.
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- That's my husband.
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Hasn't looked that awake since 1993.
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- I was the one who finally, fatefully,
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turned to the topic of real estate.
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I put it to you that every couple in this room
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is happy on some level because they own houses.
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- See, that is happiness.
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- Case closed.
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- You don't know they own houses.
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- Oh yeah, these people are homeowners.
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I mean, look at the way they're dancing.
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- You're confusing happiness with real estate.
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- With all due respect to Heather,
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you bought your house in the 90s,
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so you wouldn't. - Exactly, and look at me.
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Morbidly depressed. - Morbidly depressed
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in the privacy and the comfort of your own home.
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I've been in your granny flat for eight years.
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- I still live with my mother.
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- For me, it's the exhaustion of the hunt.
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It's like having another full-time job.
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- It kills people.
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I mean, it hasn't been formally linked with cancer,
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but you know, it's only a matter of time.
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- Well I'd go on then.
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If the alternative is getting cancer, then do it.
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See how you go.
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- We can't, that's the point.
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- Look, I'm sorry, but I call bullshit.
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The five of you could chip in, buy a house together,
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and you'd have more buying power
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than a married couple times two.
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Go on, knock yourselves out.
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Get back to me when you've dropped your souls
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in the middle of the greatest financial trauma
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you will ever face.
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- [Ainsley] At the time, it was just a joke.
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(group chuckling)
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- It's actually not as stupid as it sounds.
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(Harry laughing)
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- [Ainsley] But a joke plus five wines
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became an internet search.
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* Greggo, Greggo, Greggo
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* Where'd you go, where'd you go *
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* Point Danger, Lamington Plateau *
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* What a tit for tat
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- That one, can you send me that one please?
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- Harry.
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- Wow.
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- [Ainsley] The internet search became a group email.
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(crowd cheering)
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And although we didn't know it at the time,
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on that night, on that singles table,
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our lives had changed.
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* Greggo where'd you go man, where'd you go *
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(soft music)
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(elevator dinging)
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- With a bit of a push, I think he'll agree
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to subdivide the Kinneson property,
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but he won't budge on the catamaran.
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- Well, if they push back
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then we'll just call on the daughter to testify.
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- Here, here.
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Now what time's the lunch reservation?
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Have I got time to send a couple of emails?
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- Actually, I think I might have to skip lunch.
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- But Edwina is back from Patagonia.
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She'll have treats.
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- I wish I could.
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It's just an auction, a little place I've had my eye on.
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- You're not giving up the East Melbourne townhouse?
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- Oh no, no, just a little bit of regrouping,
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consolidation, optimizing.
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- You must have stirred up most of half of Melbourne by now.
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- (laughing) Give my love to Edwina.
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- Hey Ben, are you coming back?
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- Yeah, probably.
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- Getting some sneakers?
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- Maybe buying a house, so I don't know how long I'll be.
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- [Man] What? - Yeah, I'll get you sneakers.
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- It's a very sound financial investment.
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Liz is involved.
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- You're buying a house with three strangers and a cougar?
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- Firstly, Liz is not a cougar.
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Secondly, they're not strangers.
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Ainsley and Lachlan are both real estate agents.
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They know what they're doing.
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- You can stay here, save your money
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and buy a house for yourself
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and your wife when the time comes.
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- Mom, I'm 30 years old, the time has come.
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- Mom, you're blocking the screen.
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- Yeah, I'm just trying to get a good angle.
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When I get home and Bruce isn't walked,
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the dishwasher unpacked and your sheets washed,
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all this is going on eBay.
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- [Son] Mom, we just bought the PS4.
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- [Heather] Well I don't care, do I?
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- Heath, I'm heading off, you still coming?
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- What's that you're wearing?
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- What, what's wrong with it?
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- You gonna bid on the house or date it?
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- I'm just trying to put my best foot forward.
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- Ainsley's about to buy the commune.
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Colin, do you want to watch?
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- [Ainsley] It's not a commune.
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- Sorry, cult.
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- It's not a cult.
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It's a very sound investment opportunity,
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and it was your idea, Heather, you suggested it.
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- I suggested a lot of things that night.
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I suggested we all get dolphin tattoos, did you do that?
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No.
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Colin. - Give me five minutes.
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I'm bidding on a Katmandu sleeping bag,
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never used, still in the packet.
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- Maybe I'll see you there.
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I wholeheartedly meant what I said.
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This was a brilliant opportunity,
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but there was one other factor at play.
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- Here she is.
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Did you get any sleep?
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- Barely.
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- Where are the others?
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- They're on their way.
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- Let's do this.
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- [Ainsley] Right from the beginning,
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he called me his work wife.
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- Ains, you wouldn't read about it, but she's immune to me.
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- Impossible.
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- I think you'd better go and woo her
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with some of your country charm.
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- I'm from Newcastle.
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- Don't ruin the magic for me.
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- But then I met his actual wife.
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Lachlan tells me you do decoupage.
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- I work with clay.
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- [Ainsley] It was pretty obvious there were issues.
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- Hey ladies, sorry they didn't have any pineapple midoris,
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so I got you a vodka cider.
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- Jesus.
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- [Ainsley] I didn't say anything,
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until she kicked him out the first time.
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(breathing heavily)
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(Lachlan sobbing)
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- I just hope this doesn't complicate anything
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with our friendship.
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- Hey, no, of course not.
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- I'm sorry, don't look at me.
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- [Ainsley] Half a decade later,
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I'd somehow convinced myself
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that maybe if we were living under the same roof
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he might finally see me.
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- There they are.
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- [Ainsley] And we could be a real couple.
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- How are you guys feeling, excited?
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- Mostly.
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Liz is struggling a bit.
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- No, no, please don't take offense.
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Just in the unlikely event
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that we actually get the house today,
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I just wanted to be absolutely upfront
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that this is a financial thing for me.
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I have absolute respect and admiration for all of you,
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but I'm just extremely unlikely to participate
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in any of the social dimensions of the house.
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- It's totally fine with me.
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Just one second.
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- Does breakfast count as a social dimension?
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- (laughing) Hello.
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If it involves more than one person, yes.
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- So you won't be eating breakfast, then?
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- No.
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- Okay, have we all got our bank checks?
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And Liz, you've triple-checked the contract?
260
00:10:20,065 --> 00:10:22,367
- I have. - Let's get registered.
261
00:10:22,401 --> 00:10:25,804
- As they say, wedding buddies and now become investors.
262
00:10:25,837 --> 00:10:27,205
- Fingers crossed.
263
00:10:27,239 --> 00:10:31,143
- Ben, Ben, look, just about our situation
264
00:10:31,176 --> 00:10:32,978
after the wedding.
265
00:10:34,079 --> 00:10:35,147
I hate to bring it up again.
266
00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:36,715
- It's fine.
267
00:10:36,748 --> 00:10:39,117
- I just want to be absolutely clear
268
00:10:39,151 --> 00:10:43,221
that from this point onwards you and I are co-investors,
269
00:10:43,255 --> 00:10:46,024
so strictly platonic.
270
00:10:48,393 --> 00:10:50,395
- Yeah, that's fair enough,
271
00:10:50,429 --> 00:10:52,330
but if for argument's sake we don't get the house?
272
00:10:52,364 --> 00:10:53,732
- Still absolutely nothing.
273
00:10:55,233 --> 00:11:00,038
- At $2,390,000 I have now, can I say $2.4 million?
274
00:11:01,373 --> 00:11:03,342
At $2.4 million, this is bargain basement buying.
275
00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:04,876
I might start bidding myself.
276
00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:06,244
It does not get any better than this.
277
00:11:06,278 --> 00:11:08,347
This is the great Australian dream.
278
00:11:08,380 --> 00:11:11,850
Rit large, thank you to the gentleman on my left.
279
00:11:11,883 --> 00:11:12,751
- You in?
280
00:11:12,784 --> 00:11:14,052
- Can I say 2.45?
281
00:11:14,086 --> 00:11:15,754
This is a fine property, ladies and gentlemen.
282
00:11:15,787 --> 00:11:17,022
This young couple here
283
00:11:17,055 --> 00:11:19,157
are about to make a steal at this price.
284
00:11:19,191 --> 00:11:21,827
Looking for $2.45 million.
285
00:11:21,860 --> 00:11:24,396
Thank you madam, at $2.45 million.
286
00:11:24,429 --> 00:11:26,131
- Look like it's us and Power Nan.
287
00:11:26,164 --> 00:11:27,199
I think we got this.
288
00:11:27,232 --> 00:11:28,433
- I wouldn't underestimate Power Nan.
289
00:11:28,467 --> 00:11:30,135
She's got a bit of a mafia vibe about her.
290
00:11:30,168 --> 00:11:31,870
- Look at those shoes, those shoes don't say money.
291
00:11:31,903 --> 00:11:33,205
- Nothing about her says money,
292
00:11:33,238 --> 00:11:35,173
but that in itself screams money.
293
00:11:35,207 --> 00:11:38,377
- [Auctioneer] Make no mistake, we are here to sell today.
294
00:11:38,410 --> 00:11:40,212
- It's a permit zone.
295
00:11:40,245 --> 00:11:41,813
- Get around the block.
296
00:11:43,115 --> 00:11:44,049
- [Auctioneer] Don't let it slip away now.
297
00:11:44,082 --> 00:11:46,284
Sir, can I say $2.46 million?
298
00:11:46,318 --> 00:11:48,020
- There's Heather.
299
00:11:48,053 --> 00:11:48,954
- [Auctioneer] We're at the business end of proceedings now,
300
00:11:48,987 --> 00:11:50,322
ladies and gentlemen.
301
00:11:50,355 --> 00:11:53,091
Who is gonna make this charming five bedroom their home?
302
00:11:56,161 --> 00:11:58,463
- You never told me Lachlan was in on this.
303
00:11:58,497 --> 00:12:00,232
- Yeah, I said the group from the singles table.
304
00:12:00,265 --> 00:12:01,466
- He's about as single as I am.
305
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:02,901
- He's separated now, Melanie kicked him out.
306
00:12:02,934 --> 00:12:04,169
- Oh, his wife kicked him out again?
307
00:12:04,202 --> 00:12:06,338
- Heather, I'm so touched that you came,
308
00:12:06,371 --> 00:12:07,873
but I can't talk right now.
309
00:12:07,906 --> 00:12:09,307
- Well, tying yourself to that man
310
00:12:09,341 --> 00:12:12,010
after the way he's treated you is insanity.
311
00:12:12,044 --> 00:12:13,445
- I know we've got a complicated past.
312
00:12:13,478 --> 00:12:16,048
I'm not denying that, but I've put that behind me now.
313
00:12:16,081 --> 00:12:18,016
- How is investing half a million dollars with a man
314
00:12:18,050 --> 00:12:19,051
putting it behind you?
315
00:12:20,085 --> 00:12:21,386
Go around again.
316
00:12:21,420 --> 00:12:23,155
- [Auctioneer] $2.49 million. - $2.5.
317
00:12:24,456 --> 00:12:25,457
- That's it, that's our limit.
318
00:12:25,490 --> 00:12:26,358
- Don't say that.
319
00:12:26,391 --> 00:12:27,225
- I'm saying it.
320
00:12:27,259 --> 00:12:29,227
- $2,501,000.
321
00:12:29,261 --> 00:12:31,263
- She's done this before, look at that game face.
322
00:12:31,296 --> 00:12:33,799
- [Auctioneer] $2.501, we're at now.
323
00:12:35,334 --> 00:12:36,835
- Just one more thousand.
324
00:12:36,868 --> 00:12:37,502
That's only like 200 bucks each, right?
325
00:12:37,536 --> 00:12:40,439
- No. - $2,502,000.
326
00:12:40,472 --> 00:12:41,973
- You're making the biggest mistake of your life.
327
00:12:42,007 --> 00:12:43,475
- I don't think I am.
328
00:12:43,508 --> 00:12:45,477
Heather, I know you're gonna miss me, okay?
329
00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:47,079
But this is getting really inappropriate.
330
00:12:47,112 --> 00:12:48,280
- Inappropriate is you paying off
331
00:12:48,313 --> 00:12:50,115
his credit card debt both times.
332
00:12:50,148 --> 00:12:51,283
- He paid that back.
333
00:12:51,316 --> 00:12:53,051
- Look, just think about what you're doing.
334
00:12:54,986 --> 00:12:56,488
- Full silence.
335
00:12:56,521 --> 00:13:01,226
At $2,502,000, going once,
336
00:13:03,128 --> 00:13:04,196
going twice,
337
00:13:06,031 --> 00:13:06,998
going three times.
338
00:13:07,032 --> 00:13:08,900
- This is it.
339
00:13:08,934 --> 00:13:12,204
- [Auctioneer] And sold to the gentleman on the left.
340
00:13:12,237 --> 00:13:15,240
(group cheering)
341
00:13:15,273 --> 00:13:17,409
- [Ben] We got it, we got it!
342
00:13:23,515 --> 00:13:26,284
- Got a park. - Get back in the car.
343
00:13:34,493 --> 00:13:36,662
- [Ainsley] People say that moving can be traumatic
344
00:13:36,695 --> 00:13:38,831
and emotionally exhausting.
345
00:13:38,864 --> 00:13:40,733
Those people haven't factored in
346
00:13:40,766 --> 00:13:43,936
a bizarrely aggressive landlord.
347
00:13:43,969 --> 00:13:45,805
- Keep it.
348
00:13:45,838 --> 00:13:47,473
You'll probably need the refuge
349
00:13:47,506 --> 00:13:48,941
when it all goes pear-shaped.
350
00:13:48,974 --> 00:13:50,976
Boys, Colin, get off the couch.
351
00:13:51,010 --> 00:13:53,012
Ainsley's leaving for now.
352
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:55,648
- See ya.
353
00:13:55,681 --> 00:13:58,818
- Thank you all for the past eight years,
354
00:13:58,851 --> 00:14:01,854
all the meals, special recipe cocktails,
355
00:14:04,390 --> 00:14:05,991
and the council.
356
00:14:06,025 --> 00:14:08,461
- You are so welcome, Ains.
357
00:14:08,494 --> 00:14:09,862
- None of that was you, Col.
358
00:14:09,895 --> 00:14:11,797
- I reckon you should come see the place, Heath.
359
00:14:11,831 --> 00:14:14,467
I reckon if you see it and if you met Lachlan again
360
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,669
with a really open mind, you'll see.
361
00:14:29,548 --> 00:14:31,717
(soft music)
362
00:14:41,026 --> 00:14:43,562
- She was always gonna go eventually, love.
363
00:14:46,866 --> 00:14:49,702
We can get another tenant or go down the Airbnb route
364
00:14:49,735 --> 00:14:50,836
and hike the price up.
365
00:14:53,706 --> 00:14:56,409
He can't be too bad, love, this fellow, whoever he is.
366
00:14:57,676 --> 00:15:00,045
- You've met him, Colin, several times.
367
00:15:01,814 --> 00:15:02,915
He's the one who stays over
368
00:15:02,948 --> 00:15:05,518
whenever his marriage falls apart.
369
00:15:05,551 --> 00:15:06,419
King Dipshit.
370
00:15:08,921 --> 00:15:10,923
- What did I think of him?
371
00:15:14,794 --> 00:15:17,663
- [Ainsley] Everything was moving so quickly.
372
00:15:17,696 --> 00:15:19,899
I wanted to capture every single second.
373
00:15:19,932 --> 00:15:22,001
- Hello and congratulations.
374
00:15:22,034 --> 00:15:23,736
- Wait, wait, wait.
375
00:15:23,769 --> 00:15:24,904
Can I get a photo of you dropping the keys in his hand?
376
00:15:24,937 --> 00:15:25,971
- Ains, you should be in this.
377
00:15:26,005 --> 00:15:27,907
- It looks good just you.
378
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:29,708
And drop.
379
00:15:29,742 --> 00:15:30,976
(group cheering)
380
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:32,578
- Hey, guys.
381
00:15:34,513 --> 00:15:35,915
- Would you mind just getting a photo of all of us
382
00:15:35,948 --> 00:15:37,049
standing in a line?
383
00:15:37,083 --> 00:15:38,784
- I'm happy to stand out.
384
00:15:38,818 --> 00:15:40,586
- Liz, you are a part of this moment, deal with it.
385
00:15:40,619 --> 00:15:41,120
- Okay.
386
00:15:43,789 --> 00:15:44,957
- Three, two, one.
387
00:15:46,826 --> 00:15:48,894
- Oh, what if we do one where we all jump at the same time?
388
00:15:48,928 --> 00:15:49,862
- Yes. - Do I have to be part
389
00:15:49,895 --> 00:15:50,763
of this moment, too?
390
00:15:50,796 --> 00:15:51,964
- Yes.
391
00:15:51,997 --> 00:15:53,766
- [Realtor] Three, two, one.
392
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:55,935
- I'm in an open-toed shoe.
393
00:15:58,738 --> 00:16:00,573
- Who'd like to do the honors, Ben?
394
00:16:00,606 --> 00:16:02,041
- I'm okay with the swerve, that's all right.
395
00:16:02,074 --> 00:16:03,809
- Harry?
396
00:16:03,843 --> 00:16:05,611
- It's gotta be you, Ains.
397
00:16:05,644 --> 00:16:06,612
- Everyone sure?
398
00:16:06,645 --> 00:16:11,484
- Yeah, just open the door.
399
00:16:15,654 --> 00:16:16,122
- Oh, no.
400
00:16:17,156 --> 00:16:19,892
(group laughing)
401
00:16:21,193 --> 00:16:22,995
- And now I'm stepping over the threshold.
402
00:16:23,028 --> 00:16:24,764
We could carry each other.
403
00:16:24,797 --> 00:16:25,965
- We're not married though, isn't that half the point?
404
00:16:25,998 --> 00:16:27,800
- I'm open to other configurations.
405
00:16:27,833 --> 00:16:28,667
- Backwards?
406
00:16:28,701 --> 00:16:29,869
Or without a chief?
407
00:16:29,902 --> 00:16:30,636
- It's a different point of view.
408
00:16:30,669 --> 00:16:31,804
- I'm going in.
409
00:16:31,837 --> 00:16:34,073
- Okay, just one more of the five of us
410
00:16:34,106 --> 00:16:35,808
walking into the main living area.
411
00:16:35,841 --> 00:16:38,144
- Ainsley, you've already captured us holding the keys,
412
00:16:38,177 --> 00:16:40,546
entering the front door and jumping in unison.
413
00:16:40,579 --> 00:16:42,715
I think the experience is well documented.
414
00:16:44,717 --> 00:16:47,086
- It's nice, spacious.
415
00:16:47,119 --> 00:16:48,721
- It always looks different without furnishings.
416
00:16:48,754 --> 00:16:50,823
- Did it smell like this before?
417
00:16:50,856 --> 00:16:53,659
- Just needs a bit of air through it, I don't know.
418
00:16:53,692 --> 00:16:54,760
- Have we got running water?
419
00:16:56,695 --> 00:16:57,530
- [Ben] It's brown.
420
00:17:00,699 --> 00:17:01,867
- What happened to the pool?
421
00:17:03,169 --> 00:17:05,838
- Pretty standard to take the decking.
422
00:17:05,871 --> 00:17:07,606
I've done it myself.
423
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,175
- I don't think it was an unreasonable expectation
424
00:17:09,208 --> 00:17:11,877
that the pool decking came with the pool.
425
00:17:13,913 --> 00:17:15,748
- She'll be all right once the furniture's in.
426
00:17:15,781 --> 00:17:18,050
- Yeah, classic buyer's remorse.
427
00:17:19,885 --> 00:17:22,154
- Is it the state of the house or one particular person?
428
00:17:22,188 --> 00:17:23,689
- Remind me why we're doing this again?
429
00:17:23,722 --> 00:17:24,757
- Because we couldn't afford anything we liked
430
00:17:24,790 --> 00:17:26,225
and we wanted a pool.
431
00:17:26,258 --> 00:17:27,760
- And why didn't we get a place, just the two of us?
432
00:17:27,793 --> 00:17:28,961
- Because we couldn't afford anything we liked
433
00:17:28,994 --> 00:17:30,129
and we wanted a pool.
434
00:17:31,230 --> 00:17:32,798
Breathe with me.
435
00:17:32,832 --> 00:17:33,999
- This wasn't in any of the plans, Harry,
436
00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:36,135
not plan A, B, C, nowhere in the alphabet.
437
00:17:36,168 --> 00:17:39,638
- And out. (exhaling)
438
00:17:39,672 --> 00:17:40,706
- Why are you so calm?
439
00:17:40,740 --> 00:17:41,741
- This is just doctor face.
440
00:17:41,774 --> 00:17:43,709
I'm completely shitting myself.
441
00:17:43,743 --> 00:17:44,977
- What do we even know about these people?
442
00:17:45,010 --> 00:17:46,779
- You already learned a thing or two about Ben.
443
00:17:46,812 --> 00:17:48,781
- The only thing I've learned from Ben
444
00:17:48,814 --> 00:17:51,050
is that the hot tradie sexual fantasy, myth,
445
00:17:51,083 --> 00:17:53,619
or if not a myth, then not in any way based on him.
446
00:17:53,652 --> 00:17:54,854
- A hot tradie sexual fantasy?
447
00:17:56,722 --> 00:17:58,624
I thought it was more cops or fireies.
448
00:18:07,833 --> 00:18:09,101
- Careful, you got it? - Yeah.
449
00:18:14,073 --> 00:18:17,176
- Ains, this room is like,
450
00:18:18,778 --> 00:18:21,213
if you were a room, this would be it.
451
00:18:21,247 --> 00:18:25,317
- I was thinking if you help me set up my room,
452
00:18:25,351 --> 00:18:27,186
I'll help you set up yours.
453
00:18:27,219 --> 00:18:28,120
- Already happening.
454
00:18:30,055 --> 00:18:30,990
Where are you putting that?
455
00:18:31,023 --> 00:18:31,791
- I think in the corner.
456
00:18:35,261 --> 00:18:37,062
- Wait, wait, wait.
457
00:18:37,096 --> 00:18:39,198
Let's see, there, good.
458
00:18:39,231 --> 00:18:40,199
It's perfect.
459
00:18:43,836 --> 00:18:45,137
It's so heavy.
460
00:18:45,171 --> 00:18:47,173
There's weights in this bed.
461
00:18:47,206 --> 00:18:47,973
Okay.
462
00:18:51,043 --> 00:18:54,980
(sighing) It usually takes a good week
463
00:18:55,014 --> 00:18:58,684
to settle into a house, but is it just me,
464
00:18:59,985 --> 00:19:01,287
or does this already feel like home?
465
00:19:03,823 --> 00:19:04,723
- It's not just you.
466
00:19:08,828 --> 00:19:09,662
- Timber.
467
00:19:11,697 --> 00:19:13,899
(soft music)
468
00:19:35,755 --> 00:19:39,158
- And through here, the kitchen slash dining
469
00:19:39,191 --> 00:19:41,093
slash lounge area.
470
00:19:41,127 --> 00:19:43,095
- Beautiful sense of light, don't you think?
471
00:19:44,864 --> 00:19:46,766
- What's that, is that a garbage muncher?
472
00:19:46,799 --> 00:19:48,801
Thought they banned those.
473
00:19:48,834 --> 00:19:50,970
One of you will probably lose a digit.
474
00:19:51,003 --> 00:19:52,838
My money's on, - Heather.
475
00:19:54,407 --> 00:19:56,175
Sorry.
476
00:19:56,208 --> 00:19:58,411
- Oh no, she's right, and it's good to have a critical eye.
477
00:19:58,444 --> 00:20:00,179
- Oh, you've got it, Shady,
478
00:20:00,212 --> 00:20:03,015
two very critical eyes on you all day, every day.
479
00:20:04,083 --> 00:20:05,851
- Did you just call me Shady?
480
00:20:05,885 --> 00:20:06,385
- Yep.
481
00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:09,121
- I like that, Shady.
482
00:20:10,556 --> 00:20:11,724
- Let's see the loft.
483
00:20:16,562 --> 00:20:17,997
- Ahh.
484
00:20:18,030 --> 00:20:19,999
- We'll rotate the rooms at some point,
485
00:20:20,032 --> 00:20:22,568
but for the moment, this is, - My room.
486
00:20:22,602 --> 00:20:24,103
- That's a nice view, isn't it?
487
00:20:24,137 --> 00:20:25,505
And your room with an en suite.
488
00:20:25,538 --> 00:20:26,906
- It's perfect.
489
00:20:26,939 --> 00:20:28,508
- Actually, Lachlan suggested that I take this room,
490
00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:31,077
but I didn't want it on account of the ceilings.
491
00:20:31,110 --> 00:20:35,515
So you misread that, and quite a few other things, too.
492
00:20:36,682 --> 00:20:39,085
- Ains, we'll put this up here.
493
00:20:39,118 --> 00:20:43,489
I just wanted to say thank you.
494
00:20:43,523 --> 00:20:47,794
If you think about it, all this happened because of you.
495
00:20:47,827 --> 00:20:49,095
- A lot of things happen because of me,
496
00:20:49,128 --> 00:20:50,696
most of them deeply unfortunate.
497
00:20:52,598 --> 00:20:56,803
- Oh, well you'll always be a guest of honor in our home.
498
00:20:56,836 --> 00:20:57,970
- Would we call it an honor?
499
00:20:59,038 --> 00:21:01,974
- (laughing) She's a classic.
500
00:21:03,810 --> 00:21:04,977
I'm gonna go and do another load before it gets dark.
501
00:21:05,011 --> 00:21:07,613
- Yeah, go. - Shades.
502
00:21:08,815 --> 00:21:09,582
Ciao.
503
00:21:13,119 --> 00:21:14,587
- What?
504
00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:16,589
- I'm touched you're so concerned.
505
00:21:16,622 --> 00:21:17,824
Look at him.
506
00:21:17,857 --> 00:21:19,792
He's being thoroughly lovely.
507
00:21:19,826 --> 00:21:21,160
- Is he? - Yes.
508
00:21:21,194 --> 00:21:23,930
And this social experiment, - Commune.
509
00:21:23,963 --> 00:21:27,700
- Whatever, it's working and I'm happy.
510
00:21:30,970 --> 00:21:32,839
And I'm coming around on Friday and I'm bringing margaritas,
511
00:21:32,872 --> 00:21:34,674
whether you like it or not.
512
00:21:40,947 --> 00:21:44,250
- Ben, I'd just like to sincerely apologize
513
00:21:44,283 --> 00:21:48,688
for the hot tradie thing that you heard earlier.
514
00:21:48,721 --> 00:21:50,123
- Look, I'm sorry, 'cause I Googled it,
515
00:21:50,156 --> 00:21:51,858
and you're right.
516
00:21:51,891 --> 00:21:53,860
A hot tradie is totally a thing.
517
00:21:53,893 --> 00:21:56,762
I just can't believe I let you down like that.
518
00:21:56,796 --> 00:21:58,764
The tool belt was sitting right there, too.
519
00:21:58,798 --> 00:22:01,868
- Ben, I'm not actually into anything like that.
520
00:22:01,901 --> 00:22:04,971
It was just a stupid comment.
521
00:22:05,004 --> 00:22:06,973
- Just for the record, I haven't had a lot of experience
522
00:22:07,006 --> 00:22:08,875
with role playing and stuff,
523
00:22:08,908 --> 00:22:10,176
but I did love drama in high school.
524
00:22:10,209 --> 00:22:11,944
- No Ben, that really wasn't the issue.
525
00:22:11,978 --> 00:22:14,113
- So there's something else.
526
00:22:14,147 --> 00:22:15,948
Was it the Caravan?
527
00:22:15,982 --> 00:22:18,217
- Well, I wouldn't exactly put the Caravan
528
00:22:18,251 --> 00:22:19,652
in the asset column.
529
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:24,957
But no, no, I just think it's a terrible idea
530
00:22:24,991 --> 00:22:28,261
to get involved romantically with a co-investor.
531
00:22:28,294 --> 00:22:29,796
- That's not a rule, is it?
532
00:22:29,829 --> 00:22:32,965
- Well, it's more of a guideline or a parameter
533
00:22:32,999 --> 00:22:34,100
as we go forward.
534
00:22:34,133 --> 00:22:35,835
- So no sex whatsoever? - No.
535
00:22:35,868 --> 00:22:39,138
I mean, you can have sex by all means, with outside people.
536
00:22:39,172 --> 00:22:40,840
God, go for your life.
537
00:22:41,874 --> 00:22:43,709
I just think between housemates
538
00:22:43,743 --> 00:22:47,246
it's important to keep it free of complication and all.
539
00:22:48,714 --> 00:22:49,182
- For sure.
540
00:22:50,283 --> 00:22:52,018
Just so I'm 100% clear.
541
00:22:52,051 --> 00:22:54,720
- We might just, should we leave it there?
542
00:22:54,754 --> 00:22:56,155
We might not chat for a minute.
543
00:22:56,189 --> 00:22:56,989
- All right.
544
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,762
- That's the lounge room, I think.
545
00:23:02,795 --> 00:23:05,231
- Oh, that's one of mine, actually.
546
00:23:06,365 --> 00:23:08,901
- Maybe just put that outside.
547
00:23:10,870 --> 00:23:11,904
- Oh, you're shitting me.
548
00:23:18,377 --> 00:23:19,178
- Melanie.
549
00:23:21,747 --> 00:23:23,883
- This is better than my place.
550
00:23:23,916 --> 00:23:25,251
- Ainsley. - Where is my husband?
551
00:23:38,297 --> 00:23:40,900
- I mean, it's plugged in.
552
00:23:40,933 --> 00:23:44,370
It's connected, but just nothing.
553
00:23:44,403 --> 00:23:45,905
- Honeys, I'm home.
554
00:23:49,909 --> 00:23:50,743
What?
555
00:23:52,245 --> 00:23:56,382
- Well first, the oven appears to be a lemon, and second,
556
00:23:56,415 --> 00:23:57,850
- Your wife's upstairs.
557
00:23:59,418 --> 00:24:00,953
- How did she know?
558
00:24:00,987 --> 00:24:02,188
- Maybe because you tagged your location
559
00:24:02,221 --> 00:24:03,856
on Instagram eight times.
560
00:24:06,993 --> 00:24:08,394
I can't believe you did it.
561
00:24:08,427 --> 00:24:10,196
- You told me to leave.
562
00:24:10,229 --> 00:24:11,964
- So you take my advice for the first time in your life
563
00:24:11,998 --> 00:24:13,633
and you do this?
564
00:24:13,666 --> 00:24:15,234
- [Ben] I'm sure I'll grab some frozen peas if you want 'em.
565
00:24:15,268 --> 00:24:18,037
- That's not quite what I had in mind when I said greens.
566
00:24:19,839 --> 00:24:21,240
Ben's kindly picked us up some dinner materials.
567
00:24:21,274 --> 00:24:23,910
I've got microwave rice and tacos, not a natural marriage.
568
00:24:23,943 --> 00:24:25,411
Hello.
569
00:24:25,445 --> 00:24:27,079
- This is my wife, Mel.
570
00:24:28,247 --> 00:24:30,082
Mel, this is Ben and Liz.
571
00:24:30,116 --> 00:24:30,917
- Hey.
572
00:24:32,285 --> 00:24:34,353
- I think we might go upstairs.
573
00:24:41,461 --> 00:24:43,329
- Were we expecting the wife to pop in?
574
00:24:45,164 --> 00:24:45,965
- We were not.
575
00:24:51,137 --> 00:24:52,672
(door knocking)
576
00:24:52,705 --> 00:24:55,241
Ains, do you know what happened to my bedroom boxes?
577
00:24:55,274 --> 00:24:57,276
Mel's convinced that I packed her Shake Weights.
578
00:24:57,310 --> 00:24:58,344
- Are they in the garage?
579
00:25:02,415 --> 00:25:04,183
- I really am sorry about Mel.
580
00:25:04,217 --> 00:25:06,152
I honestly didn't know that I was tagging myself.
581
00:25:06,185 --> 00:25:09,122
I think it must have been an automatic setting or something.
582
00:25:09,155 --> 00:25:10,022
- She's still here?
583
00:25:14,427 --> 00:25:17,029
- I'm actually really worried about her.
584
00:25:17,063 --> 00:25:18,364
I don't think she can drive.
585
00:25:19,999 --> 00:25:21,367
She's saying that she still loves me,
586
00:25:23,102 --> 00:25:25,004
but I just don't know what to think.
587
00:25:25,037 --> 00:25:26,339
- I don't know, either.
588
00:25:26,372 --> 00:25:28,307
- What do you think I should do?
589
00:25:33,212 --> 00:25:34,180
- Trust your heart.
590
00:25:36,215 --> 00:25:38,417
(soft music)
591
00:25:48,394 --> 00:25:51,097
For everyone else on Earth, it's a simple equation.
592
00:25:53,032 --> 00:25:55,701
You like someone, you tell them,
593
00:25:57,203 --> 00:25:58,404
and either it works out,
594
00:26:02,008 --> 00:26:04,076
or it doesn't.
595
00:26:04,110 --> 00:26:06,512
- Mel, I already said I'm so sorry.
596
00:26:06,546 --> 00:26:08,548
I was just, I was angry about your text
597
00:26:08,581 --> 00:26:10,917
and I was just firing back.
598
00:26:10,950 --> 00:26:12,452
If you lie to someone, what are they supposed to think,
599
00:26:12,485 --> 00:26:14,153
that you're just not gonna be there?
600
00:26:22,495 --> 00:26:25,097
(loud moaning)
601
00:26:28,367 --> 00:26:30,236
- Interesting couple, aren't they?
602
00:26:35,975 --> 00:26:36,542
Oh my God.
603
00:26:36,576 --> 00:26:38,478
- Liz, the table, quick.
604
00:26:41,114 --> 00:26:42,415
- Turn off the shower!
605
00:26:45,418 --> 00:26:46,452
Lachlan, stop the shower.
606
00:26:47,187 --> 00:26:48,021
- The mains, I'll hit the mains.
607
00:26:50,623 --> 00:26:52,392
Lachlan, we've got a leak.
608
00:26:52,425 --> 00:26:54,828
Turn off the shower.
609
00:26:54,861 --> 00:26:56,930
- There's water coming into my room!
610
00:26:56,963 --> 00:26:58,665
- We've got a leak.
611
00:26:58,698 --> 00:26:59,933
Turn off the shower.
612
00:26:59,966 --> 00:27:01,801
- [Lachlan] One minute.
613
00:27:04,104 --> 00:27:06,773
(Liz screaming)
614
00:27:08,241 --> 00:27:09,843
- [Ben] Liz, are you okay?
615
00:27:09,876 --> 00:27:10,677
- Oh, God.
616
00:27:12,579 --> 00:27:14,013
- [Harry] Lachlan, it's leaking all over everything
617
00:27:14,047 --> 00:27:15,014
in the living room.
618
00:27:15,048 --> 00:27:17,083
It's gonna be damaging the roof.
619
00:27:17,117 --> 00:27:18,151
- [Ben] It's locked.
620
00:27:18,184 --> 00:27:19,185
- What do you mean, it's locked?
621
00:27:19,219 --> 00:27:20,653
- I'm coming in.
622
00:27:21,955 --> 00:27:24,023
Turn off the shower.
623
00:27:24,057 --> 00:27:27,594
Holy shit, I'm sorry it's as weird as this.
624
00:27:27,627 --> 00:27:28,828
- What the hell is going on?
625
00:27:28,862 --> 00:27:30,830
- A leak problem, mate, we got a leak problem.
626
00:27:30,864 --> 00:27:32,198
I'm sorry for the disturbance.
627
00:27:32,232 --> 00:27:33,700
I didn't see a thing.
628
00:27:33,733 --> 00:27:35,702
- [Lachlan] What leak?
629
00:27:35,735 --> 00:27:37,070
- [Ben] Shit, sorry.
630
00:27:49,115 --> 00:27:51,484
- The water was draining fine.
631
00:27:51,518 --> 00:27:53,887
- You didn't hear the chorus of blood-curdling screams?
632
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:55,889
- I might head off.
633
00:27:55,922 --> 00:27:57,257
- I should probably stick around here for a bit.
634
00:27:57,290 --> 00:27:58,258
- Oh, you think?
635
00:27:58,291 --> 00:27:59,125
- I love you, bye.
636
00:28:05,231 --> 00:28:08,501
- Yeah, so I reckon the problem's the piping.
637
00:28:08,535 --> 00:28:10,637
- The piping in what sense?
638
00:28:11,705 --> 00:28:12,906
- There's none.
639
00:28:12,939 --> 00:28:14,908
That drain goes straight into the roof, Kevin,
640
00:28:14,941 --> 00:28:16,876
he's not even a proper renter.
641
00:28:16,910 --> 00:28:18,178
That's putting a shower without connecting it up.
642
00:28:18,211 --> 00:28:20,146
- So we bought a $2.5 million house
643
00:28:20,180 --> 00:28:21,514
with no functional plumbing?
644
00:28:21,548 --> 00:28:23,149
- Upstairs yeah, but downstairs is all right,
645
00:28:23,183 --> 00:28:24,984
except the wiring's being dodgy.
646
00:28:25,018 --> 00:28:26,519
- What was the building report for?
647
00:28:26,553 --> 00:28:29,122
- I did, we chose a visual report.
648
00:28:29,155 --> 00:28:31,224
I sent through the options.
649
00:28:31,257 --> 00:28:32,892
We all agreed a visual was the cheapest.
650
00:28:32,926 --> 00:28:35,228
- You are both professional real estate agents.
651
00:28:35,261 --> 00:28:37,297
- Okay, what I think we need right now
652
00:28:37,330 --> 00:28:40,033
is a moment of gratitude.
653
00:28:40,066 --> 00:28:41,301
I'll start.
654
00:28:41,334 --> 00:28:43,503
I'm grateful that we have at least
655
00:28:43,536 --> 00:28:46,039
partially functioning plumbing downstairs.
656
00:28:46,072 --> 00:28:48,808
- And you know, moving is very stressful,
657
00:28:48,842 --> 00:28:50,810
but we should all remember
658
00:28:50,844 --> 00:28:54,714
that it's always darkest before the night.
659
00:28:54,748 --> 00:28:58,785
- Dawn, before the dawn. - Dawn.
660
00:28:58,818 --> 00:28:59,986
- I'll have a go.
661
00:29:00,019 --> 00:29:01,020
I am grateful that George Foreman
662
00:29:01,054 --> 00:29:02,989
didn't get hurt in the flood.
663
00:29:03,022 --> 00:29:04,224
- I wish I had never been born.
664
00:29:04,257 --> 00:29:05,792
- [Harry] Come on, that's not helpful.
665
00:29:05,825 --> 00:29:07,193
- Sorry, it's been a really rough year.
666
00:29:09,229 --> 00:29:10,029
- Ains?
667
00:29:12,332 --> 00:29:15,235
- Actually, I'll go one more, if I may.
668
00:29:15,268 --> 00:29:18,104
I'm grateful to you, Ains, just for being you
669
00:29:18,138 --> 00:29:19,339
and bringing us all together,
670
00:29:19,372 --> 00:29:21,174
'cause I tell you what.
671
00:29:21,207 --> 00:29:25,111
If this is ground zero, I can't wait for the rebuild.
672
00:29:26,379 --> 00:29:27,180
- Thanks, Ben.
673
00:29:28,214 --> 00:29:30,550
(soft music)
674
00:29:38,892 --> 00:29:39,759
- Liz, Liz.
675
00:29:41,928 --> 00:29:44,197
Hey, your room looks like a flood zone,
676
00:29:44,230 --> 00:29:47,967
and mine is dry as a bone, so if you wanted to come in.
677
00:29:48,001 --> 00:29:48,935
- Oh. - No, no,
678
00:29:50,170 --> 00:29:51,971
look, it might not look like it,
679
00:29:52,005 --> 00:29:54,140
but I'm actually a massive fan of the outdoors,
680
00:29:54,174 --> 00:29:58,344
so if you wanted my room without me in it,
681
00:29:58,378 --> 00:30:00,380
you're welcome to it.
682
00:30:00,413 --> 00:30:03,149
- Oh Ben, that is so lovely.
683
00:30:03,183 --> 00:30:08,021
I couldn't, but thank you for being so gracious.
684
00:30:08,054 --> 00:30:10,123
- That's all right.
685
00:30:10,156 --> 00:30:14,861
- I realize I haven't been my best self,
686
00:30:14,894 --> 00:30:16,096
and it has nothing to do with you.
687
00:30:16,129 --> 00:30:20,967
I've just had a bit of a tough time lately.
688
00:30:23,336 --> 00:30:25,939
- Well listen, tough times don't last, tough people do.
689
00:30:28,341 --> 00:30:30,777
- When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
690
00:30:31,811 --> 00:30:33,780
Billy Ocean, 1986.
691
00:30:41,888 --> 00:30:44,057
(cell phone ringing)
692
00:30:44,090 --> 00:30:45,125
- Mom.
693
00:30:45,158 --> 00:30:46,393
- [Manju] How's your new home?
694
00:30:47,861 --> 00:30:49,262
- Oh, it's great.
695
00:30:49,295 --> 00:30:54,200
It's very busy and atmospheric.
696
00:30:56,236 --> 00:30:57,404
- How's Elizabeth?
697
00:30:57,437 --> 00:30:58,938
She must be happy.
698
00:30:58,972 --> 00:31:01,908
Her plan has finally come to fruition.
699
00:31:01,941 --> 00:31:04,677
- She's good mom, everyone's just settling in.
700
00:31:04,711 --> 00:31:06,279
How's your night been?
701
00:31:06,312 --> 00:31:09,049
- I tried to watch a movie, but it was too violent.
702
00:31:11,151 --> 00:31:12,952
I had to turn it off.
703
00:31:12,986 --> 00:31:17,057
It was too frightening, being here in this big house alone.
704
00:31:18,258 --> 00:31:20,126
- The house is not big, mom.
705
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,395
- It is, it is for just one person.
706
00:31:22,429 --> 00:31:23,997
Your father bought it thinking
707
00:31:24,030 --> 00:31:25,665
it would be filled with grandchildren.
708
00:31:27,500 --> 00:31:28,334
- I'm sorry, mom.
709
00:31:31,204 --> 00:31:32,005
I miss you.
710
00:31:33,106 --> 00:31:34,474
- I just heard a strange sound.
711
00:31:34,507 --> 00:31:35,275
I must go.
712
00:31:38,978 --> 00:31:40,480
(Harry sighing)
713
00:31:40,513 --> 00:31:43,016
(soft music)
714
00:32:00,367 --> 00:32:01,735
- Here's some more candles.
715
00:32:01,768 --> 00:32:04,270
- Oh thanks, I think I'll just go to a hotel.
716
00:32:04,304 --> 00:32:05,505
- We both know you're really angling
717
00:32:05,538 --> 00:32:07,107
for an invitation to sleep with me,
718
00:32:07,140 --> 00:32:09,309
and you've done it, mission accomplished.
719
00:32:09,342 --> 00:32:10,343
- That's not my mission.
720
00:32:10,377 --> 00:32:12,445
- You, me, wine, home reno shows.
721
00:32:12,479 --> 00:32:13,713
That's always your mission.
722
00:32:13,747 --> 00:32:15,315
- A little bit.
723
00:32:15,348 --> 00:32:18,017
- I wouldn't even offer if I didn't have the good sheets on.
724
00:32:18,051 --> 00:32:19,219
- Everybody knows that.
725
00:32:21,187 --> 00:32:22,188
No one meant to snap at you.
726
00:32:22,222 --> 00:32:24,391
It was a tense situation.
727
00:32:28,228 --> 00:32:30,897
I'm just about to leave, so can we talk about this?
728
00:32:37,470 --> 00:32:42,042
Looks like I'm in the doghouse again, record time.
729
00:32:42,075 --> 00:32:43,376
Ains, is this insane?
730
00:32:43,410 --> 00:32:45,512
Me trying to make it work with Mel?
731
00:32:45,545 --> 00:32:46,379
What do you reckon?
732
00:32:46,413 --> 00:32:47,480
- I can't say.
733
00:32:47,514 --> 00:32:49,215
- Oh, come on.
734
00:32:49,249 --> 00:32:50,216
You know our relationship better than anyone.
735
00:32:50,250 --> 00:32:52,285
- No, I don't know.
736
00:32:52,318 --> 00:32:53,987
- Come on, Ains.
737
00:32:54,020 --> 00:32:56,756
I honestly think that we would have broken up years ago
738
00:32:56,790 --> 00:32:58,958
if it hadn't been for you.
739
00:32:58,992 --> 00:32:59,459
- What?
740
00:33:01,961 --> 00:33:03,430
- Well, it's just that you give the best advice.
741
00:33:03,463 --> 00:33:07,133
- Is that how you see me, as your advisor?
742
00:33:07,167 --> 00:33:10,336
- No, well I mean, partially, yes.
743
00:33:11,971 --> 00:33:16,209
But you're also my work wife and my best friend.
744
00:33:16,242 --> 00:33:17,310
You're like a sister to me.
745
00:33:21,481 --> 00:33:26,186
- I've been in love with you the entire time.
746
00:33:28,021 --> 00:33:28,521
- What?
747
00:33:29,589 --> 00:33:31,558
But you never said anything.
748
00:33:31,591 --> 00:33:33,093
- I think it was pretty clear.
749
00:33:33,126 --> 00:33:35,795
- There's been a couple of drunken nights, yeah.
750
00:33:35,829 --> 00:33:39,065
- Four, there were four drunken nights,
751
00:33:39,099 --> 00:33:41,835
and I was sober every time.
752
00:33:41,868 --> 00:33:45,238
And then there were the two surprise birthday parties
753
00:33:45,271 --> 00:33:48,208
and the cheer up Lachlan laser tag,
754
00:33:48,241 --> 00:33:50,243
and the time you dislocated your shoulder
755
00:33:50,276 --> 00:33:52,445
and I did a therapeutic massage night court,
756
00:33:52,479 --> 00:33:56,850
so if there was ever a way to get close to you,
757
00:33:56,883 --> 00:34:01,087
I took it, even if it was ridiculous.
758
00:34:03,289 --> 00:34:05,992
Even if it was buying a five bedroom house.
759
00:34:11,064 --> 00:34:11,531
- Oh, God.
760
00:34:13,366 --> 00:34:16,302
I'm sorry, I think I've just had my mind caught up
761
00:34:16,336 --> 00:34:19,039
in the whole Melanie situation or something.
762
00:34:20,206 --> 00:34:21,508
I'm sorry.
763
00:34:23,343 --> 00:34:24,344
I'm awful, aren't I?
764
00:34:28,048 --> 00:34:29,149
Sorry.
765
00:34:29,182 --> 00:34:31,818
(Lachlin sobbing)
766
00:34:36,323 --> 00:34:38,325
- Yep, I'm finished here,
767
00:34:40,827 --> 00:34:42,162
with this.
768
00:34:42,195 --> 00:34:42,963
- What?
769
00:34:45,265 --> 00:34:46,066
Ains?
770
00:34:47,401 --> 00:34:50,837
- I cannot stay in this house with you.
771
00:34:54,141 --> 00:34:56,309
(soft music)
772
00:35:17,631 --> 00:35:19,400
- Mom, Ainsley's back.
773
00:35:21,702 --> 00:35:22,503
She's crying.
774
00:35:24,572 --> 00:35:25,372
- What happened?
775
00:35:26,674 --> 00:35:27,575
- You were right.
776
00:35:30,377 --> 00:35:32,780
- Boys, out, now.
777
00:35:32,813 --> 00:35:33,747
- [Son] What?
778
00:35:40,421 --> 00:35:44,458
- Look, I know it hurts right now, but Ains,
779
00:35:44,492 --> 00:35:45,726
it's good this happened early.
780
00:35:48,429 --> 00:35:50,030
It was always gonna be a car crash.
781
00:35:50,064 --> 00:35:52,032
I mean, you managed to get out before impact.
782
00:35:53,100 --> 00:35:54,668
- I'm still in the car, Heather.
783
00:35:54,702 --> 00:35:55,669
- No, you're not.
784
00:35:55,703 --> 00:35:58,038
You took a hit, but you got out.
785
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,375
You did this to move forward with your life.
786
00:36:01,408 --> 00:36:03,577
- I am literally in the exact same place.
787
00:36:03,611 --> 00:36:04,578
- That's bullshit.
788
00:36:04,612 --> 00:36:06,680
You know, physically, obviously,
789
00:36:06,714 --> 00:36:09,450
but in every other sense you have moved forward.
790
00:36:11,886 --> 00:36:14,355
This could have gone on for years, decades even.
791
00:36:15,656 --> 00:36:17,858
- What about the three other people
792
00:36:17,892 --> 00:36:20,394
who have invested their life savings in this?
793
00:36:20,427 --> 00:36:21,395
- That's on them.
794
00:36:21,428 --> 00:36:22,596
- I convinced them to do it.
795
00:36:22,630 --> 00:36:24,331
- Well, they should have known better.
796
00:36:24,365 --> 00:36:25,800
Liz is a lawyer, for Christ's sake.
797
00:36:25,833 --> 00:36:27,101
What was she thinking?
798
00:36:27,134 --> 00:36:28,769
And Harry, he's a bloody doctor.
799
00:36:28,803 --> 00:36:30,538
Not operating on me anytime soon.
800
00:36:31,806 --> 00:36:33,140
If they couldn't see how disastrous this was,
801
00:36:33,174 --> 00:36:35,342
- It wasn't disastrous.
802
00:36:35,376 --> 00:36:37,311
I know you can't see that, but it wasn't.
803
00:36:38,746 --> 00:36:40,881
At least it didn't have to be until I ruined it.
804
00:36:40,915 --> 00:36:43,350
- You didn't ruin anything.
805
00:36:43,384 --> 00:36:44,485
You saved yourself.
806
00:36:51,392 --> 00:36:53,127
- I really hope you don't get like this
807
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:54,562
with the next tenant, love.
808
00:36:54,595 --> 00:36:56,130
- It's not voluntary, Col.
809
00:36:56,163 --> 00:36:58,799
- Look, I know you don't like self-criticism.
810
00:36:58,833 --> 00:37:01,836
- It's not self-criticism if it's coming from you.
811
00:37:03,671 --> 00:37:06,140
- I think you've gotten a bit over involved with Ainsley.
812
00:37:06,173 --> 00:37:07,908
It's like you're trying to live her life for her.
813
00:37:07,942 --> 00:37:10,411
- Ainsley's more than a tenant.
814
00:37:10,444 --> 00:37:12,546
She's the one person here who really speaks to me
815
00:37:13,814 --> 00:37:16,584
and listens and cares.
816
00:37:21,622 --> 00:37:22,656
You stopped trying, Col.
817
00:37:29,230 --> 00:37:30,531
Are you on eBay?
818
00:37:31,899 --> 00:37:34,602
- I'm three minutes away from a French crock pot.
819
00:37:34,635 --> 00:37:36,203
Recommended retail 295.
820
00:37:36,237 --> 00:37:40,374
I'm about to snap it up for 61 bucks plus postage.
821
00:37:44,545 --> 00:37:47,114
(birds chirping)
822
00:38:07,568 --> 00:38:08,702
- Oh, Manju.
823
00:38:08,736 --> 00:38:09,670
Good morning.
824
00:38:09,703 --> 00:38:11,806
It's lovely to see you.
825
00:38:11,839 --> 00:38:12,940
- Elizabeth.
826
00:38:12,973 --> 00:38:14,542
- Mom.
827
00:38:14,575 --> 00:38:15,910
- I won't pretend you were my first choice.
828
00:38:15,943 --> 00:38:19,547
- Oh my God, this is not what it looks like.
829
00:38:19,580 --> 00:38:21,448
It was an unexpected,
830
00:38:21,482 --> 00:38:24,218
- Many members of our family are very traditional.
831
00:38:24,251 --> 00:38:25,553
- No mom, it's really,
832
00:38:25,586 --> 00:38:29,590
- Deep, deep down, I'm a very modern woman.
833
00:38:29,623 --> 00:38:31,559
Very, very modern.
834
00:38:31,592 --> 00:38:34,962
Obviously I'd prefer a much younger Indian girl,
835
00:38:34,995 --> 00:38:37,865
but let us put all of our quarrels behind us.
836
00:38:37,898 --> 00:38:39,633
- Quarrels?
837
00:38:39,667 --> 00:38:41,936
- If you love my boy, I'll find a way to love you.
838
00:38:44,772 --> 00:38:45,439
- Thank you?
839
00:38:47,308 --> 00:38:49,977
- Wait, where are you going?
840
00:38:50,010 --> 00:38:51,745
- I thought I was ready, I'm not.
841
00:38:53,314 --> 00:38:55,716
- Wait, was that food for me?
842
00:38:55,749 --> 00:38:57,218
- Yes.
843
00:39:03,958 --> 00:39:05,259
- [Ainsley] In the light of day,
844
00:39:05,292 --> 00:39:06,627
it was hard to tell what hurt more,
845
00:39:07,928 --> 00:39:10,698
the fact that I was back in the granny flat,
846
00:39:10,731 --> 00:39:13,000
the fact that I'd racked up a half million dollar debt
847
00:39:13,033 --> 00:39:14,735
on a lemon of a house,
848
00:39:14,768 --> 00:39:17,805
or that I'd taken so many people down with me.
849
00:39:22,343 --> 00:39:25,246
- You've got some balls, I'll give you that.
850
00:39:25,279 --> 00:39:26,914
- I'm just here to see Ains.
851
00:39:26,947 --> 00:39:28,315
- [Heather] You're not seeing her, turn around.
852
00:39:28,349 --> 00:39:30,684
- It really doesn't have anything to do with you.
853
00:39:30,718 --> 00:39:31,785
- Yes, it does.
854
00:39:31,819 --> 00:39:34,255
You're on my property, turn around.
855
00:39:34,288 --> 00:39:35,923
- Heather, I'm not sure what Ainsley might have said.
856
00:39:35,956 --> 00:39:37,825
- Ainsley hasn't said a word.
857
00:39:37,858 --> 00:39:39,827
I see you slinking up and down my driveway
858
00:39:39,860 --> 00:39:41,562
every time your wife's had a guff.
859
00:39:41,595 --> 00:39:44,298
- Heather, I'm sorry, but I now co-own a house with Ainsley
860
00:39:44,331 --> 00:39:46,801
and we've got a lot to sort out.
861
00:39:46,834 --> 00:39:48,369
- You're getting out of that place.
862
00:39:48,402 --> 00:39:50,604
- Sorry? - You heard me.
863
00:39:50,638 --> 00:39:51,906
- This has got nothing to do with you.
864
00:39:51,939 --> 00:39:53,340
It's between me and Ainsley.
865
00:39:53,374 --> 00:39:54,942
- There is no you and Ainsley,
866
00:39:54,975 --> 00:39:57,378
and you've known that a hell of a lot longer than she has.
867
00:39:57,411 --> 00:39:58,813
Show's over, mate.
868
00:39:58,846 --> 00:40:00,314
For once in your life,
869
00:40:00,347 --> 00:40:01,715
you're gonna do something vaguely honorable.
870
00:40:01,749 --> 00:40:03,083
You're gonna get out of her life,
871
00:40:03,117 --> 00:40:05,653
you're gonna go back to your bullshit marriage
872
00:40:05,686 --> 00:40:07,721
and you're gonna wait for further instructions.
873
00:40:08,923 --> 00:40:10,024
And don't you dare cry.
874
00:40:12,660 --> 00:40:14,295
- Heath, what are you doing?
875
00:40:14,328 --> 00:40:15,830
You can't make him move out.
876
00:40:15,863 --> 00:40:17,832
- It's all right, I've already got a replacement.
877
00:40:17,865 --> 00:40:18,666
- Who?
878
00:40:21,001 --> 00:40:21,769
- Me.
879
00:40:23,637 --> 00:40:26,340
- Yeah, no I've sent it to Andrew as well.
880
00:40:26,373 --> 00:40:27,708
- This is nothing.
881
00:40:27,741 --> 00:40:30,811
Well, you wanted a queen size mattress,
882
00:40:30,845 --> 00:40:33,981
totally submerged for a good 20, 25 minutes.
883
00:40:35,183 --> 00:40:37,585
Two days in the sun, good as gold.
884
00:40:37,618 --> 00:40:39,620
- Sorry, why did you submerge a mattress?
885
00:40:39,654 --> 00:40:42,190
- She's pretty attached to that phone, isn't she?
886
00:40:42,223 --> 00:40:43,624
- Yeah, she's calling lawyers.
887
00:40:43,658 --> 00:40:45,293
- I thought she was lawyers.
888
00:40:45,326 --> 00:40:46,961
- Property lawyers.
889
00:40:46,994 --> 00:40:49,263
She's trying to find some sort of an out clause,
890
00:40:49,297 --> 00:40:51,699
give us a chance to wind this back.
891
00:40:51,732 --> 00:40:54,335
- You think she's having any luck?
892
00:40:54,368 --> 00:40:55,169
- No.
893
00:40:57,371 --> 00:40:58,439
- Does Colin know about this?
894
00:40:58,473 --> 00:40:59,674
- Not exactly, no.
895
00:41:07,014 --> 00:41:10,318
- Hang on, maybe I should go alone.
896
00:41:10,351 --> 00:41:11,753
The others might not be okay with this,
897
00:41:11,786 --> 00:41:14,322
and it'll be easier for them to say no if you're not there.
898
00:41:14,355 --> 00:41:15,623
- That's exactly why I'm coming.
899
00:41:18,326 --> 00:41:18,993
Hang on.
900
00:41:26,267 --> 00:41:27,368
Force along, let's go.
901
00:41:28,736 --> 00:41:32,240
- Okay, I have spoken to three property lawyers,
902
00:41:32,273 --> 00:41:33,274
and they all agree.
903
00:41:35,510 --> 00:41:37,011
There is no winding it back.
904
00:41:37,044 --> 00:41:39,313
- Right now, the glass is very much half empty.
905
00:41:39,347 --> 00:41:41,616
- It's completely empty, Harry.
906
00:41:41,649 --> 00:41:42,650
There's no glass.
907
00:41:43,718 --> 00:41:44,986
- Jesus, what's that smell?
908
00:41:46,287 --> 00:41:47,021
- Where did you go last night?
909
00:41:47,054 --> 00:41:48,055
You just disappeared.
910
00:41:48,089 --> 00:41:50,091
- Sorry, I had to leave.
911
00:41:50,124 --> 00:41:51,459
- Where's Lachlan?
912
00:41:51,492 --> 00:41:53,361
- Lachlan probably won't be joining us.
913
00:41:53,394 --> 00:41:56,631
We have something to propose, or to discuss.
914
00:41:56,664 --> 00:41:59,567
A shakeup.
915
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,336
How would you feel, honestly,
916
00:42:02,370 --> 00:42:05,006
if Lachlan were out and Heather were in?
917
00:42:06,307 --> 00:42:07,708
- I don't mean to be rude,
918
00:42:07,742 --> 00:42:11,446
but would your husband and boys be in your room with you?
919
00:42:11,479 --> 00:42:13,748
- No, not exactly, we'll go into that.
920
00:42:13,781 --> 00:42:15,716
This whole idea, getting this place,
921
00:42:15,750 --> 00:42:19,387
it was because I needed somewhere to live.
922
00:42:19,420 --> 00:42:21,055
- Well, not so much needed.
923
00:42:21,089 --> 00:42:23,424
- No, I wanted my own place.
924
00:42:25,093 --> 00:42:29,564
And also I was hopelessly in love with Lachlan.
925
00:42:32,633 --> 00:42:34,402
- We were across that.
926
00:42:34,435 --> 00:42:36,437
- Really?
927
00:42:36,471 --> 00:42:39,574
I thought that I kept it pretty well.
928
00:42:39,607 --> 00:42:41,375
- Not even slightly.
929
00:42:41,409 --> 00:42:45,480
- I'm sorry if you want to throw it all in, I get it.
930
00:42:45,513 --> 00:42:46,347
I'm sorry.
931
00:42:49,150 --> 00:42:50,585
- We can't throw it in,
932
00:42:50,618 --> 00:42:52,553
at least not without losing a ton of money.
933
00:42:53,721 --> 00:42:55,456
- Sorry, that's not right.
934
00:42:57,792 --> 00:43:00,695
- What if we gave it a year,
935
00:43:00,728 --> 00:43:04,632
and if it remains a disaster this time next year, we sell?
936
00:43:06,834 --> 00:43:09,470
It couldn't be any worse than living with my mother.
937
00:43:09,504 --> 00:43:11,139
- Well mate, even with the Dodge warriors,
938
00:43:11,172 --> 00:43:13,174
it's a big step up from the Caravan.
939
00:43:13,207 --> 00:43:16,077
- I'm not gonna trust myself with any decisions for a while,
940
00:43:16,110 --> 00:43:17,745
but if it's what the group wants.
941
00:43:22,350 --> 00:43:23,751
- Six months, on two conditions.
942
00:43:24,919 --> 00:43:28,790
No more surprises, and no sex.
943
00:43:28,823 --> 00:43:30,491
- At all? - Not between housemates.
944
00:43:30,525 --> 00:43:31,325
- Agreed.
945
00:43:36,764 --> 00:43:40,635
* Our lives covered in smoke
946
00:43:40,668 --> 00:43:41,803
- Six months.
947
00:43:41,836 --> 00:43:44,505
- Why is he holding up his fist?
948
00:43:44,539 --> 00:43:45,506
- Six months.
949
00:43:48,776 --> 00:43:50,144
- Do the fist thing, Heather.
950
00:43:50,178 --> 00:43:52,613
- Is this like a sexual thing? - Just do it.
951
00:43:52,647 --> 00:43:54,682
* You were a landslide covered in dirt *
952
00:43:54,715 --> 00:43:55,683
- Six months.
953
00:43:55,716 --> 00:43:57,652
- And for what it's worth, Ains,
954
00:43:57,685 --> 00:44:01,456
from my perspective, Lachlan's got some real problems,
955
00:44:01,489 --> 00:44:03,691
not seeing you for the ripper package that you are.
956
00:44:05,426 --> 00:44:08,563
- Ben, I repeat, no sex between housemates.
957
00:44:08,596 --> 00:44:13,134
* You were a harsh cry, hard to be heard *
958
00:44:17,205 --> 00:44:18,840
- It's just some drinks and nibbles.
959
00:44:18,873 --> 00:44:20,575
- Five singles ready to mingle.
960
00:44:20,608 --> 00:44:22,176
- He thinks he's just been invited to a sex party.
961
00:44:22,210 --> 00:44:23,578
- Enjoy the housewarming.
962
00:44:23,611 --> 00:44:24,712
- Sorry, housewarming?
963
00:44:24,746 --> 00:44:26,447
- Have to put an appearance, God help me.
964
00:44:26,481 --> 00:44:29,684
- I have yet to communicate that I am living in this house.
965
00:44:29,717 --> 00:44:31,953
- In terms of my love life, let me handle it myself.
966
00:44:31,986 --> 00:44:33,688
- That's what I've been doing.
967
00:44:33,721 --> 00:44:34,822
Where is the woman?
968
00:44:34,856 --> 00:44:35,823
- I'm leaving.
969
00:44:35,857 --> 00:44:36,591
- This is about the snoring.
970
00:44:36,624 --> 00:44:38,493
- Oh, shit.
971
00:44:38,526 --> 00:44:39,961
- Is this what's really happening?
972
00:44:39,994 --> 00:44:41,629
Are you leaving me for that bloke?
973
00:44:41,662 --> 00:44:43,831
- You're an idiot.
974
00:44:43,865 --> 00:44:46,401
(soft music)68160
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