Original subtitles

- [Ainsley] You fall in love,get married, buy a house.

(crowd cheering)

It's beautiful, but thisstory isn't about that.

In a very big, very broad,very married social circle,

five of us shared onepainfully solid bond.

We'd all crash landed on thetable behind the speakers,

better known asthe singles table.

- Ben, I seem tonotice that you have

an ice cube in yourmouth at most times.

- I find it's quite refreshing.

You want one?- Oh no, thank you.

- [Ainsley] Liz and Ben hadabsolutely nothing in common,

making them the obvious choice

for the tragicallyill-fated setup.

- So, how did you gowith the gift registry?

- In what sense?

- What'd you get?

- The sheet set.

- I spent less on my first car.

- Update, this is diabolical.

I'm three and half Pinosin, I may need be help.

Ridiculously hot, buthe lives in a Caravan.

- You're still a glass anda half away from crisis,

and I am on it.

- What'd he say?

- [Ainsley] Harry wasLiz's best friend,

but his mother suspectedthere was more to the story.

- Rishan, table five.

So much younger,beautiful hair, good hips.

She knows you're a doctor.

You should be speaking to her.

- I will.- [Ainsley] He wouldn't,

because Harry was gay.

- Rishan's favorite singer,Shania Twain, just like you.

I'll go talk to the band.

- [Ainsley] He just neverquite found the words

to tell his mom.

- Hey mate, can you check,

my husband's not walkingover here, is he?

- [Ainsley] My landlord slashself-appointed life coach

Heather, wasn't even single.

- Which one is he?

- Short, tall enoughyou'd lose him in a crowd,

shocking here.

Got more hair on hiseyebrows than his head.

He's probably smiling,wouldn't know why.

- Um.- As for myself,

the official reason I was single

was that I just hadn'tmet the right person.

God, selfish is the last wordI would use to describe you.

- Thank you.

- [Ainsley] The unofficialreason was I had met him.

I worked with him every day.

- I said, can yougive me an example

of your so-calledselfish behavior?

She said, you go to thegym two hours every day.

- That's just healthy.

And he was married, technically.

- I'm not.

(sitar music)

- They look sohappy, don't they?

- Ainsley, that's not happiness.

That's terror dressedup in optimism.

- Heather!

- Do you know how muchcontrol issues she's got?

She can hardly breathe,and check out his eye line.

Straight to thatbridesmaid's ass,

probably shagged already.

- Harry is the bride's cousin.

- Oh shit, sorry Harry.

Probably hasn'tshagged the bridesmaid.

- No, I think he has.

- There you go.

If anyone on thistable can identify

one genuinely happy couplehere, next round's on me.

- The drinks are free.- One couple, just one couple.

- Okay, 10 o'clock,the older couple

with the matching haircuts.

- No, you see, Iknow that Denise

has been sleepingwith her orthodontist

for the past four years.

- Okay, 12 o'clock,the balding guy.

I mean, look at the wayhe's looking at that blonde.

That is love.

- That's my husband.

Hasn't looked thatawake since 1993.

- I was the one whofinally, fatefully,

turned to the topicof real estate.

I put it to you thatevery couple in this room

is happy on some levelbecause they own houses.

- See, that is happiness.

- Case closed.

- You don't knowthey own houses.

- Oh yeah, thesepeople are homeowners.

I mean, look at theway they're dancing.

- You're confusinghappiness with real estate.

- With all duerespect to Heather,

you bought yourhouse in the 90s,

so you wouldn't.- Exactly, and look at me.

Morbidly depressed.- Morbidly depressed

in the privacy and thecomfort of your own home.

I've been in your grannyflat for eight years.

- I still live with my mother.

- For me, it's theexhaustion of the hunt.

It's like havinganother full-time job.

- It kills people.

I mean, it hasn't beenformally linked with cancer,

but you know, it'sonly a matter of time.

- Well I'd go on then.

If the alternative isgetting cancer, then do it.

See how you go.

- We can't, that's the point.

- Look, I'm sorry,but I call bullshit.

The five of you could chipin, buy a house together,

and you'd have more buying power

than a married couple times two.

Go on, knock yourselves out.

Get back to me whenyou've dropped your souls

in the middle of thegreatest financial trauma

you will ever face.

- [Ainsley] At the time,it was just a joke.

(group chuckling)

- It's actually not asstupid as it sounds.

(Harry laughing)

- [Ainsley] But ajoke plus five wines

became an internet search.

* Greggo, Greggo, Greggo

* Where'd you go,where'd you go *

* Point Danger,Lamington Plateau *

* What a tit for tat

- That one, can yousend me that one please?

- Harry.

- Wow.

- [Ainsley] The internetsearch became a group email.

(crowd cheering)

And although we didn'tknow it at the time,

on that night, onthat singles table,

our lives had changed.

* Greggo where'd you goman, where'd you go *

(soft music)

(elevator dinging)

- With a bit of a push,I think he'll agree

to subdivide theKinneson property,

but he won't budgeon the catamaran.

- Well, if they push back

then we'll just call onthe daughter to testify.

- Here, here.

Now what time's thelunch reservation?

Have I got time to senda couple of emails?

- Actually, I think Imight have to skip lunch.

- But Edwina isback from Patagonia.

She'll have treats.

- I wish I could.

It's just an auction, a littleplace I've had my eye on.

- You're not giving up theEast Melbourne townhouse?

- Oh no, no, just alittle bit of regrouping,

consolidation, optimizing.

- You must have stirred up mostof half of Melbourne by now.

- (laughing) Givemy love to Edwina.

- Hey Ben, are you coming back?

- Yeah, probably.

- Getting some sneakers?

- Maybe buying a house, so Idon't know how long I'll be.

- [Man] What?- Yeah, I'll get you sneakers.

- It's a very soundfinancial investment.

Liz is involved.

- You're buying a house withthree strangers and a cougar?

- Firstly, Liz is not a cougar.

Secondly, they're not strangers.

Ainsley and Lachlan areboth real estate agents.

They know what they're doing.

- You can stay here,save your money

and buy a house for yourself

and your wife whenthe time comes.

- Mom, I'm 30 yearsold, the time has come.

- Mom, you'reblocking the screen.

- Yeah, I'm just tryingto get a good angle.

When I get home andBruce isn't walked,

the dishwasher unpackedand your sheets washed,

all this is going on eBay.

- [Son] Mom, wejust bought the PS4.

- [Heather] Well Idon't care, do I?

- Heath, I'm headingoff, you still coming?

- What's that you're wearing?

- What, what's wrong with it?

- You gonna bid onthe house or date it?

- I'm just trying to putmy best foot forward.

- Ainsley's aboutto buy the commune.

Colin, do you want to watch?

- [Ainsley] It's not a commune.

- Sorry, cult.

- It's not a cult.

It's a very soundinvestment opportunity,

and it was your idea,Heather, you suggested it.

- I suggested a lotof things that night.

I suggested we all get dolphintattoos, did you do that?

No.

Colin.- Give me five minutes.

I'm bidding on aKatmandu sleeping bag,

never used, still in the packet.

- Maybe I'll see you there.

I wholeheartedlymeant what I said.

This was a brilliantopportunity,

but there was oneother factor at play.

- Here she is.

Did you get any sleep?

- Barely.

- Where are the others?

- They're on their way.

- Let's do this.

- [Ainsley] Rightfrom the beginning,

he called me his work wife.

- Ains, you wouldn't read aboutit, but she's immune to me.

- Impossible.

- I think you'dbetter go and woo her

with some of your country charm.

- I'm from Newcastle.

- Don't ruin the magic for me.

- But then I methis actual wife.

Lachlan tells meyou do decoupage.

- I work with clay.

- [Ainsley] It was prettyobvious there were issues.

- Hey ladies, sorry they didn'thave any pineapple midoris,

so I got you a vodka cider.

- Jesus.

- [Ainsley] Ididn't say anything,

until she kicked himout the first time.

(breathing heavily)

(Lachlan sobbing)

- I just hope this doesn'tcomplicate anything

with our friendship.

- Hey, no, of course not.

- I'm sorry, don't look at me.

- [Ainsley] Half a decade later,

I'd somehow convinced myself

that maybe if we wereliving under the same roof

he might finally see me.

- There they are.

- [Ainsley] And wecould be a real couple.

- How are you guysfeeling, excited?

- Mostly.

Liz is struggling a bit.

- No, no, pleasedon't take offense.

Just in the unlikely event

that we actuallyget the house today,

I just wanted to beabsolutely upfront

that this is afinancial thing for me.

I have absolute respect andadmiration for all of you,

but I'm just extremelyunlikely to participate

in any of the socialdimensions of the house.

- It's totally fine with me.

Just one second.

- Does breakfast countas a social dimension?

- (laughing) Hello.

If it involves morethan one person, yes.

- So you won't beeating breakfast, then?

- No.

- Okay, have we allgot our bank checks?

And Liz, you'vetriple-checked the contract?

- I have.- Let's get registered.

- As they say, wedding buddiesand now become investors.

- Fingers crossed.

- Ben, Ben, look, justabout our situation

after the wedding.

I hate to bring it up again.

- It's fine.

- I just want tobe absolutely clear

that from this point onwardsyou and I are co-investors,

so strictly platonic.

- Yeah, that's fair enough,

but if for argument's sakewe don't get the house?

- Still absolutely nothing.

- At $2,390,000 I have now,can I say $2.4 million?

At $2.4 million, this isbargain basement buying.

I might start bidding myself.

It does not get anybetter than this.

This is the greatAustralian dream.

Rit large, thank you tothe gentleman on my left.

- You in?

- Can I say 2.45?

This is a fine property,ladies and gentlemen.

This young couple here

are about to make asteal at this price.

Looking for $2.45 million.

Thank you madam,at $2.45 million.

- Look like it'sus and Power Nan.

I think we got this.

- I wouldn'tunderestimate Power Nan.

She's got a bit of amafia vibe about her.

- Look at those shoes,those shoes don't say money.

- Nothing about her says money,

but that in itselfscreams money.

- [Auctioneer] Make no mistake,we are here to sell today.

- It's a permit zone.

- Get around the block.

- [Auctioneer] Don'tlet it slip away now.

Sir, can I say $2.46 million?

- There's Heather.

- [Auctioneer] We're at thebusiness end of proceedings now,

ladies and gentlemen.

Who is gonna make this charmingfive bedroom their home?

- You never told meLachlan was in on this.

- Yeah, I said the groupfrom the singles table.

- He's about as single as I am.

- He's separated now,Melanie kicked him out.

- Oh, his wifekicked him out again?

- Heather, I'm sotouched that you came,

but I can't talk right now.

- Well, tyingyourself to that man

after the way he'streated you is insanity.

- I know we've gota complicated past.

I'm not denying that, butI've put that behind me now.

- How is investing half amillion dollars with a man

putting it behind you?

Go around again.

- [Auctioneer] $2.49 million.- $2.5.

- That's it, that's our limit.

- Don't say that.

- I'm saying it.

- $2,501,000.

- She's done this before,look at that game face.

- [Auctioneer]$2.501, we're at now.

- Just one more thousand.

That's only like 200bucks each, right?

- No.- $2,502,000.

- You're making the biggestmistake of your life.

- I don't think I am.

Heather, I know you'regonna miss me, okay?

But this is gettingreally inappropriate.

- Inappropriateis you paying off

his credit card debt both times.

- He paid that back.

- Look, just thinkabout what you're doing.

- Full silence.

At $2,502,000, going once,

going twice,

going three times.

- This is it.

- [Auctioneer] And sold tothe gentleman on the left.

(group cheering)

- [Ben] We got it, we got it!

- Got a park.- Get back in the car.

- [Ainsley] People say thatmoving can be traumatic

and emotionally exhausting.

Those people haven't factored in

a bizarrely aggressive landlord.

- Keep it.

You'll probably need the refuge

when it all goes pear-shaped.

Boys, Colin, get off the couch.

Ainsley's leaving for now.

- See ya.

- Thank you all forthe past eight years,

all the meals, specialrecipe cocktails,

and the council.

- You are so welcome, Ains.

- None of that was you, Col.

- I reckon you shouldcome see the place, Heath.

I reckon if you see it andif you met Lachlan again

with a really openmind, you'll see.

(soft music)

- She was always gonnago eventually, love.

We can get another tenantor go down the Airbnb route

and hike the price up.

He can't be too bad, love,this fellow, whoever he is.

- You've met him,Colin, several times.

He's the one who stays over

whenever hismarriage falls apart.

King Dipshit.

- What did I think of him?

- [Ainsley] Everythingwas moving so quickly.

I wanted to captureevery single second.

- Hello and congratulations.

- Wait, wait, wait.

Can I get a photo of youdropping the keys in his hand?

- Ains, you should be in this.

- It looks good just you.

And drop.

(group cheering)

- Hey, guys.

- Would you mind justgetting a photo of all of us

standing in a line?

- I'm happy to stand out.

- Liz, you are a part ofthis moment, deal with it.

- Okay.

- Three, two, one.

- Oh, what if we do one wherewe all jump at the same time?

- Yes.- Do I have to be part

of this moment, too?

- Yes.

- [Realtor] Three, two, one.

- I'm in an open-toed shoe.

- Who'd like to dothe honors, Ben?

- I'm okay with theswerve, that's all right.

- Harry?

- It's gotta be you, Ains.

- Everyone sure?

- Yeah, just open the door.

- Oh, no.

(group laughing)

- And now I'm steppingover the threshold.

We could carry each other.

- We're not married though,isn't that half the point?

- I'm open to otherconfigurations.

- Backwards?

Or without a chief?

- It's a differentpoint of view.

- I'm going in.

- Okay, just one moreof the five of us

walking into themain living area.

- Ainsley, you've alreadycaptured us holding the keys,

entering the front doorand jumping in unison.

I think the experienceis well documented.

- It's nice, spacious.

- It always looks differentwithout furnishings.

- Did it smell like this before?

- Just needs a bit of airthrough it, I don't know.

- Have we got running water?

- [Ben] It's brown.

- What happened to the pool?

- Pretty standardto take the decking.

I've done it myself.

- I don't think it was anunreasonable expectation

that the pool deckingcame with the pool.

- She'll be all rightonce the furniture's in.

- Yeah, classic buyer's remorse.

- Is it the state of the houseor one particular person?

- Remind me why we'redoing this again?

- Because we couldn'tafford anything we liked

and we wanted a pool.

- And why didn't we get aplace, just the two of us?

- Because we couldn'tafford anything we liked

and we wanted a pool.

Breathe with me.

- This wasn't in anyof the plans, Harry,

not plan A, B, C,nowhere in the alphabet.

- And out. (exhaling)

- Why are you so calm?

- This is just doctor face.

I'm completely shitting myself.

- What do we even knowabout these people?

- You already learned athing or two about Ben.

- The only thingI've learned from Ben

is that the hot tradiesexual fantasy, myth,

or if not a myth, then notin any way based on him.

- A hot tradie sexual fantasy?

I thought it wasmore cops or fireies.

- Careful, you got it?- Yeah.

- Ains, this room is like,

if you were a room,this would be it.

- I was thinking if youhelp me set up my room,

I'll help you set up yours.

- Already happening.

Where are you putting that?

- I think in the corner.

- Wait, wait, wait.

Let's see, there, good.

It's perfect.

It's so heavy.

There's weights in this bed.

Okay.

(sighing) It usuallytakes a good week

to settle into a house,but is it just me,

or does this alreadyfeel like home?

- It's not just you.

- Timber.

(soft music)

- And through here, thekitchen slash dining

slash lounge area.

- Beautiful sense oflight, don't you think?

- What's that, is thata garbage muncher?

Thought they banned those.

One of you willprobably lose a digit.

My money's on,- Heather.

Sorry.

- Oh no, she's right, and it'sgood to have a critical eye.

- Oh, you've got it, Shady,

two very critical eyes onyou all day, every day.

- Did you just call me Shady?

- Yep.

- I like that, Shady.

- Let's see the loft.

- Ahh.

- We'll rotate therooms at some point,

but for the moment, this is,- My room.

- That's a nice view, isn't it?

And your room with an en suite.

- It's perfect.

- Actually, Lachlan suggestedthat I take this room,

but I didn't want it onaccount of the ceilings.

So you misread that, andquite a few other things, too.

- Ains, we'll put this up here.

I just wanted to say thank you.

If you think about it, allthis happened because of you.

- A lot of thingshappen because of me,

most of them deeply unfortunate.

- Oh, well you'll always bea guest of honor in our home.

- Would we call it an honor?

- (laughing) She's a classic.

I'm gonna go and do anotherload before it gets dark.

- Yeah, go.- Shades.

Ciao.

- What?

- I'm touchedyou're so concerned.

Look at him.

He's being thoroughly lovely.

- Is he?- Yes.

And this social experiment,- Commune.

- Whatever, it'sworking and I'm happy.

And I'm coming around on Fridayand I'm bringing margaritas,

whether you like it or not.

- Ben, I'd just liketo sincerely apologize

for the hot tradie thingthat you heard earlier.

- Look, I'm sorry,'cause I Googled it,

and you're right.

A hot tradie is totally a thing.

I just can't believe Ilet you down like that.

The tool belt wassitting right there, too.

- Ben, I'm not actuallyinto anything like that.

It was just a stupid comment.

- Just for the record, Ihaven't had a lot of experience

with role playing and stuff,

but I did love dramain high school.

- No Ben, that reallywasn't the issue.

- So there's something else.

Was it the Caravan?

- Well, I wouldn'texactly put the Caravan

in the asset column.

But no, no, I just thinkit's a terrible idea

to get involved romanticallywith a co-investor.

- That's not a rule, is it?

- Well, it's more of aguideline or a parameter

as we go forward.

- So no sex whatsoever?- No.

I mean, you can have sex byall means, with outside people.

God, go for your life.

I just think between housemates

it's important to keep itfree of complication and all.

- For sure.

Just so I'm 100% clear.

- We might just, shouldwe leave it there?

We might not chat for a minute.

- All right.

- That's the loungeroom, I think.

- Oh, that's oneof mine, actually.

- Maybe just put that outside.

- Oh, you're shitting me.

- Melanie.

- This is better than my place.

- Ainsley.- Where is my husband?

- I mean, it's plugged in.

It's connected,but just nothing.

- Honeys, I'm home.

What?

- Well first, the oven appearsto be a lemon, and second,

- Your wife's upstairs.

- How did she know?

- Maybe because youtagged your location

on Instagram eight times.

I can't believe you did it.

- You told me to leave.

- So you take my advice forthe first time in your life

and you do this?

- [Ben] I'm sure I'll grab somefrozen peas if you want 'em.

- That's not quite what I hadin mind when I said greens.

Ben's kindly picked usup some dinner materials.

I've got microwave rice andtacos, not a natural marriage.

Hello.

- This is my wife, Mel.

Mel, this is Ben and Liz.

- Hey.

- I think we might go upstairs.

- Were we expectingthe wife to pop in?

- We were not.

(door knocking)

Ains, do you know whathappened to my bedroom boxes?

Mel's convinced that Ipacked her Shake Weights.

- Are they in the garage?

- I really am sorry about Mel.

I honestly didn't knowthat I was tagging myself.

I think it must have been anautomatic setting or something.

- She's still here?

- I'm actually reallyworried about her.

I don't think she can drive.

She's saying thatshe still loves me,

but I just don'tknow what to think.

- I don't know, either.

- What do you think I should do?

- Trust your heart.

(soft music)

For everyone else on Earth,it's a simple equation.

You like someone, you tell them,

and either it works out,

or it doesn't.

- Mel, I alreadysaid I'm so sorry.

I was just, I wasangry about your text

and I was just firing back.

If you lie to someone, whatare they supposed to think,

that you're justnot gonna be there?

(loud moaning)

- Interestingcouple, aren't they?

Oh my God.

- Liz, the table, quick.

- Turn off the shower!

Lachlan, stop the shower.

- The mains, I'll hit the mains.

Lachlan, we've got a leak.

Turn off the shower.

- There's watercoming into my room!

- We've got a leak.

Turn off the shower.

- [Lachlan] One minute.

(Liz screaming)

- [Ben] Liz, are you okay?

- Oh, God.

- [Harry] Lachlan, it'sleaking all over everything

in the living room.

It's gonna be damaging the roof.

- [Ben] It's locked.

- What do you mean, it's locked?

- I'm coming in.

Turn off the shower.

Holy shit, I'm sorryit's as weird as this.

- What the hell is going on?

- A leak problem, mate,we got a leak problem.

I'm sorry for the disturbance.

I didn't see a thing.

- [Lachlan] What leak?

- [Ben] Shit, sorry.

- The water was draining fine.

- You didn't hear the chorusof blood-curdling screams?

- I might head off.

- I should probably stickaround here for a bit.

- Oh, you think?

- I love you, bye.

- Yeah, so I reckon theproblem's the piping.

- The piping in what sense?

- There's none.

That drain goes straightinto the roof, Kevin,

he's not even a proper renter.

That's putting a showerwithout connecting it up.

- So we bought a$2.5 million house

with no functional plumbing?

- Upstairs yeah, butdownstairs is all right,

except the wiring's being dodgy.

- What was thebuilding report for?

- I did, we chosea visual report.

I sent through the options.

We all agreed a visualwas the cheapest.

- You are both professionalreal estate agents.

- Okay, what I thinkwe need right now

is a moment of gratitude.

I'll start.

I'm grateful thatwe have at least

partially functioningplumbing downstairs.

- And you know, movingis very stressful,

but we should all remember

that it's always darkestbefore the night.

- Dawn, before the dawn.- Dawn.

- I'll have a go.

I am grateful thatGeorge Foreman

didn't get hurt in the flood.

- I wish I had never been born.

- [Harry] Come on,that's not helpful.

- Sorry, it's beena really rough year.

- Ains?

- Actually, I'll goone more, if I may.

I'm grateful to you,Ains, just for being you

and bringing us all together,

'cause I tell you what.

If this is ground zero, Ican't wait for the rebuild.

- Thanks, Ben.

(soft music)

- Liz, Liz.

Hey, your room lookslike a flood zone,

and mine is dry as a bone,so if you wanted to come in.

- Oh.- No, no,

look, it might not look like it,

but I'm actually a massivefan of the outdoors,

so if you wanted myroom without me in it,

you're welcome to it.

- Oh Ben, that is so lovely.

I couldn't, but thank youfor being so gracious.

- That's all right.

- I realize I haven'tbeen my best self,

and it has nothingto do with you.

I've just had a bit ofa tough time lately.

- Well listen, tough timesdon't last, tough people do.

- When the going getstough, the tough get going.

Billy Ocean, 1986.

(cell phone ringing)

- Mom.

- [Manju] How's your new home?

- Oh, it's great.

It's very busy and atmospheric.

- How's Elizabeth?

She must be happy.

Her plan has finallycome to fruition.

- She's good mom,everyone's just settling in.

How's your night been?

- I tried to watch a movie,but it was too violent.

I had to turn it off.

It was too frightening, beinghere in this big house alone.

- The house is not big, mom.

- It is, it is forjust one person.

Your father bought it thinking

it would be filledwith grandchildren.

- I'm sorry, mom.

I miss you.

- I just heard a strange sound.

I must go.

(Harry sighing)

(soft music)

- Here's some more candles.

- Oh thanks, I thinkI'll just go to a hotel.

- We both knowyou're really angling

for an invitationto sleep with me,

and you've done it,mission accomplished.

- That's not my mission.

- You, me, wine,home reno shows.

That's always your mission.

- A little bit.

- I wouldn't even offer if Ididn't have the good sheets on.

- Everybody knows that.

No one meant to snap at you.

It was a tense situation.

I'm just about to leave,so can we talk about this?

Looks like I'm in thedoghouse again, record time.

Ains, is this insane?

Me trying to makeit work with Mel?

What do you reckon?

- I can't say.

- Oh, come on.

You know our relationshipbetter than anyone.

- No, I don't know.

- Come on, Ains.

I honestly think that wewould have broken up years ago

if it hadn't been for you.

- What?

- Well, it's just thatyou give the best advice.

- Is that how you seeme, as your advisor?

- No, well I mean,partially, yes.

But you're also my workwife and my best friend.

You're like a sister to me.

- I've been in love withyou the entire time.

- What?

But you never said anything.

- I think it was pretty clear.

- There's been a coupleof drunken nights, yeah.

- Four, there werefour drunken nights,

and I was sober every time.

And then there were the twosurprise birthday parties

and the cheer upLachlan laser tag,

and the time youdislocated your shoulder

and I did a therapeuticmassage night court,

so if there was ever away to get close to you,

I took it, even ifit was ridiculous.

Even if it was buyinga five bedroom house.

- Oh, God.

I'm sorry, I think I'vejust had my mind caught up

in the whole Melaniesituation or something.

I'm sorry.

I'm awful, aren't I?

Sorry.

(Lachlin sobbing)

- Yep, I'm finished here,

with this.

- What?

Ains?

- I cannot stay inthis house with you.

(soft music)

- Mom, Ainsley's back.

She's crying.

- What happened?

- You were right.

- Boys, out, now.

- [Son] What?

- Look, I know it hurtsright now, but Ains,

it's good this happened early.

It was always gonnabe a car crash.

I mean, you managed toget out before impact.

- I'm still in the car, Heather.

- No, you're not.

You took a hit, but you got out.

You did this to moveforward with your life.

- I am literally inthe exact same place.

- That's bullshit.

You know, physically, obviously,

but in every other senseyou have moved forward.

This could have gone onfor years, decades even.

- What about thethree other people

who have invested theirlife savings in this?

- That's on them.

- I convinced them to do it.

- Well, they shouldhave known better.

Liz is a lawyer,for Christ's sake.

What was she thinking?

And Harry, he's a bloody doctor.

Not operating onme anytime soon.

If they couldn't seehow disastrous this was,

- It wasn't disastrous.

I know you can't seethat, but it wasn't.

At least it didn't haveto be until I ruined it.

- You didn't ruin anything.

You saved yourself.

- I really hope youdon't get like this

with the next tenant, love.

- It's not voluntary, Col.

- Look, I know you don'tlike self-criticism.

- It's not self-criticismif it's coming from you.

- I think you've gotten a bitover involved with Ainsley.

It's like you're tryingto live her life for her.

- Ainsley's more than a tenant.

She's the one person herewho really speaks to me

and listens and cares.

You stopped trying, Col.

Are you on eBay?

- I'm three minutes awayfrom a French crock pot.

Recommended retail 295.

I'm about to snap it upfor 61 bucks plus postage.

(birds chirping)

- Oh, Manju.

Good morning.

It's lovely to see you.

- Elizabeth.

- Mom.

- I won't pretend youwere my first choice.

- Oh my God, this isnot what it looks like.

It was an unexpected,

- Many members of ourfamily are very traditional.

- No mom, it's really,

- Deep, deep down, I'ma very modern woman.

Very, very modern.

Obviously I'd prefer amuch younger Indian girl,

but let us put all ofour quarrels behind us.

- Quarrels?

- If you love my boy, I'llfind a way to love you.

- Thank you?

- Wait, where are you going?

- I thought I wasready, I'm not.

- Wait, was that food for me?

- Yes.

- [Ainsley] In the light of day,

it was hard to tellwhat hurt more,

the fact that I wasback in the granny flat,

the fact that I'd racked upa half million dollar debt

on a lemon of a house,

or that I'd taken somany people down with me.

- You've got some balls,I'll give you that.

- I'm just here to see Ains.

- [Heather] You're notseeing her, turn around.

- It really doesn't haveanything to do with you.

- Yes, it does.

You're on myproperty, turn around.

- Heather, I'm not sure whatAinsley might have said.

- Ainsley hasn't said a word.

I see you slinking upand down my driveway

every time yourwife's had a guff.

- Heather, I'm sorry, but Inow co-own a house with Ainsley

and we've got a lot to sort out.

- You're gettingout of that place.

- Sorry?- You heard me.

- This has got nothingto do with you.

It's between me and Ainsley.

- There is no you and Ainsley,

and you've known that a hellof a lot longer than she has.

Show's over, mate.

For once in your life,

you're gonna do somethingvaguely honorable.

You're gonna getout of her life,

you're gonna go back toyour bullshit marriage

and you're gonna waitfor further instructions.

And don't you dare cry.

- Heath, what are you doing?

You can't make him move out.

- It's all right, I'vealready got a replacement.

- Who?

- Me.

- Yeah, no I've sentit to Andrew as well.

- This is nothing.

Well, you wanted aqueen size mattress,

totally submerged fora good 20, 25 minutes.

Two days in thesun, good as gold.

- Sorry, why did yousubmerge a mattress?

- She's pretty attachedto that phone, isn't she?

- Yeah, she's calling lawyers.

- I thought she was lawyers.

- Property lawyers.

She's trying to find somesort of an out clause,

give us a chanceto wind this back.

- You think she'shaving any luck?

- No.

- Does Colin know about this?

- Not exactly, no.

- Hang on, maybeI should go alone.

The others might notbe okay with this,

and it'll be easier for themto say no if you're not there.

- That's exactly why I'm coming.

Hang on.

Force along, let's go.

- Okay, I have spoken tothree property lawyers,

and they all agree.

There is no winding it back.

- Right now, the glassis very much half empty.

- It's completely empty, Harry.

There's no glass.

- Jesus, what's that smell?

- Where did you go last night?

You just disappeared.

- Sorry, I had to leave.

- Where's Lachlan?

- Lachlan probablywon't be joining us.

We have something topropose, or to discuss.

A shakeup.

How would you feel, honestly,

if Lachlan were outand Heather were in?

- I don't mean to be rude,

but would your husband andboys be in your room with you?

- No, not exactly,we'll go into that.

This whole idea,getting this place,

it was because I neededsomewhere to live.

- Well, not so much needed.

- No, I wanted my own place.

And also I was hopelesslyin love with Lachlan.

- We were across that.

- Really?

I thought that Ikept it pretty well.

- Not even slightly.

- I'm sorry if you want tothrow it all in, I get it.

I'm sorry.

- We can't throw it in,

at least not withoutlosing a ton of money.

- Sorry, that's not right.

- What if we gave it a year,

and if it remains a disasterthis time next year, we sell?

It couldn't be any worsethan living with my mother.

- Well mate, even withthe Dodge warriors,

it's a big step upfrom the Caravan.

- I'm not gonna trust myselfwith any decisions for a while,

but if it's whatthe group wants.

- Six months, on two conditions.

No more surprises, and no sex.

- At all?- Not between housemates.

- Agreed.

* Our lives covered in smoke

- Six months.

- Why is he holding up his fist?

- Six months.

- Do the fist thing, Heather.

- Is this like a sexual thing?- Just do it.

* You were a landslidecovered in dirt *

- Six months.

- And for what it's worth, Ains,

from my perspective, Lachlan'sgot some real problems,

not seeing you for theripper package that you are.

- Ben, I repeat, nosex between housemates.

* You were a harshcry, hard to be heard *

- It's just somedrinks and nibbles.

- Five singles ready to mingle.

- He thinks he's just beeninvited to a sex party.

- Enjoy the housewarming.

- Sorry, housewarming?

- Have to put anappearance, God help me.

- I have yet to communicatethat I am living in this house.

- In terms of my love life,let me handle it myself.

- That's what I've been doing.

Where is the woman?

- I'm leaving.

- This is about the snoring.

- Oh, shit.

- Is this what'sreally happening?

Are you leavingme for that bloke?

- You're an idiot.

(soft music)