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دانلود زیرنویس از www.subf2m.ir
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
2
00:00:06,030 --> 00:00:07,670
Very clever...(LAUGHTER)
3
00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,310
(LAUGHTER)
4
00:00:11,350 --> 00:00:13,510
Right, who's responsible?!
5
00:00:13,550 --> 00:00:14,710
O'Neill, sir.
6
00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:16,830
Vincent?
Nothing to do with me, sir.
7
00:00:16,870 --> 00:00:19,030
Oh, really?
So, Carl's lying, is he?
8
00:00:19,070 --> 00:00:20,070
Yeah, he's lying.
9
00:00:20,110 --> 00:00:22,990
And he better take it back,
cos that's thingy... liable.
10
00:00:23,750 --> 00:00:25,990
Slander.Slander.
11
00:00:26,030 --> 00:00:27,030
Come up here!
12
00:00:27,830 --> 00:00:29,390
Show me your hands...
13
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:31,150
What? HANDS!
14
00:00:31,870 --> 00:00:34,430
I can explain...
Caught red-handed.
15
00:00:34,990 --> 00:00:38,710
You're a liar, O'Neill,
and liars need to be punished.
16
00:00:40,670 --> 00:00:42,630
(ALL EXCLAIM)Here we go...
17
00:00:43,590 --> 00:00:45,230
Say sorry to Humfrey.
18
00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:48,150
Thing is, Mr Bates,
he's essentially a trainer.
19
00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:49,190
Yes...
20
00:00:49,230 --> 00:00:53,230
And if he doesn't get an apology,
he gets TREMENDOUSLY ANGRY!
21
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:54,910
All right, I'm sorry! To Humfrey!
22
00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:57,270
Sorry... trainer.
23
00:00:57,310 --> 00:00:59,870
Say his name!
I'm not saying his name!
24
00:00:59,910 --> 00:01:01,710
Does he have to say his name?
ALL: Yes!
25
00:01:01,750 --> 00:01:02,750
Thanks, dickheads!
26
00:01:02,790 --> 00:01:05,030
Say it, O'Neill!
Shut up, you dog-bumming twat!
27
00:01:05,070 --> 00:01:07,630
Say sorry to the shoe!
I'm not apologising to footwear!
28
00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:10,070
ALL: Sorry to the shoe,
sorry to the shoe!
29
00:01:10,110 --> 00:01:11,750
Sorry to the shoe!
30
00:01:11,790 --> 00:01:15,030
(CHANTING CONTINUES)
31
00:01:15,070 --> 00:01:16,150
Sorry to the shoe!
32
00:01:16,190 --> 00:01:18,990
♪ The best things in life are free
33
00:01:19,030 --> 00:01:23,190
You're a thief, O'Neill,
always were and always will be!
34
00:01:23,790 --> 00:01:26,590
♪ That's what I want
35
00:01:26,630 --> 00:01:27,710
♪ That's what I want...
36
00:01:27,750 --> 00:01:29,910
♪ That's what I want
37
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Sorry, shoe...
38
00:01:30,990 --> 00:01:33,470
♪ That's what I want
39
00:01:33,990 --> 00:01:35,070
♪ That's what I want...
40
00:01:35,110 --> 00:01:36,430
♪ That's what I want ♪
41
00:01:37,510 --> 00:01:40,070
Aren't you practically
Terence's bitch now, though,
42
00:01:40,110 --> 00:01:42,670
you doing all the work,
while he takes all the profit.
43
00:01:42,710 --> 00:01:44,110
No, I am not Terence's bitch.
44
00:01:44,150 --> 00:01:45,870
He's a fucking ENT-repreneur.
45
00:01:45,910 --> 00:01:47,710
Yeah, ent... entrepreneur.
46
00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:50,230
Entrepreneur,
investing in our start-up company.
47
00:01:50,270 --> 00:01:52,150
Which means better facilities,
48
00:01:52,190 --> 00:01:53,190
better weed...
49
00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:55,390
Fucking hell,
we're moving up a league here.
50
00:01:55,430 --> 00:01:56,430
Hang on, sweetheart.
51
00:01:56,470 --> 00:01:57,470
Don't get me wrong,
52
00:01:57,510 --> 00:01:59,470
it's great we're
Terence's top supplier,
53
00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:00,750
but I'm a businessman now,
54
00:02:00,790 --> 00:02:02,790
and businessmen
have responsibilities.
55
00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:03,910
Like fucking what?
56
00:02:03,950 --> 00:02:06,110
Like sorting out this place.
Look at it.
57
00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:08,030
There's spliff butts
in every crevice,
58
00:02:08,070 --> 00:02:09,550
used condom in the hand-drier,
59
00:02:09,590 --> 00:02:11,990
some idiot's been cold-lunching
by the fire exit.
60
00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:14,350
You Hawley's Larry Flynt
or something? Hey...
61
00:02:14,390 --> 00:02:16,350
Dickhead, I'm doing this for us.
62
00:02:16,390 --> 00:02:18,630
I mean, fair do's,
I might be managing director,
63
00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:20,750
but we're all stakeholders, yeah,
64
00:02:20,790 --> 00:02:23,790
and its success
relies on our shared efforts.
65
00:02:23,830 --> 00:02:24,830
Which is why...
66
00:02:24,870 --> 00:02:27,190
I was hoping you might
come somewhere with me.
67
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,030
Come somewhere with yer? Like where?
68
00:02:29,070 --> 00:02:30,950
Little, uh, trip out.
69
00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:33,550
Like where?(INHALES)
70
00:02:33,590 --> 00:02:35,150
I'm planning a room in the back,
71
00:02:35,190 --> 00:02:37,190
for, you know... specialist clients.
72
00:02:37,230 --> 00:02:38,870
A blue room, if you will.
73
00:02:39,350 --> 00:02:41,150
And I've got this vision in my mind.
74
00:02:41,190 --> 00:02:43,270
I want it kitted out
in a very particular way.
75
00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:48,870
Who's gonna want to
eat their dinner off that?
76
00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:49,910
They're perfect.
77
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,310
Look at the detail.
78
00:02:53,350 --> 00:02:55,830
Little willy sculptures
all across the top of it.
79
00:02:55,870 --> 00:02:56,870
Hmm.
80
00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:59,950
Hey, I tell who'd like these,
you know...
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00:02:59,990 --> 00:03:01,950
Fucking McCann.
Oi! Eyes off, sunshine!
82
00:03:01,990 --> 00:03:03,150
Use your bloody head.
83
00:03:03,190 --> 00:03:05,830
He loves a pervy antique.
It'll keep him sweet, won't it.
84
00:03:05,870 --> 00:03:08,830
All right, how's about
you take these drawers.
85
00:03:10,710 --> 00:03:12,670
There's fuck all erotic
about 'em, dude.
86
00:03:12,710 --> 00:03:13,710
Check out the side.
87
00:03:14,510 --> 00:03:15,510
Christ...
88
00:03:15,550 --> 00:03:16,550
(SOFTLY) Look...
89
00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:19,630
(GROANS)Big snizz on it.
90
00:03:19,670 --> 00:03:21,150
(ALL LAUGH)
91
00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:23,070
That is... that's pornographic, that.
92
00:03:23,110 --> 00:03:24,110
That's disgusting.
93
00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:25,310
Hey, hey, hey...
94
00:03:25,350 --> 00:03:26,910
It's a thing of beauty, that is.
95
00:03:26,950 --> 00:03:29,110
It's a work of art, the female twat.
96
00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:31,390
You help me with the rest.
The drawers are yours.
97
00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:33,430
All right...
So, when they shifting 'em?
98
00:03:35,350 --> 00:03:38,150
The museum can't afford
expensive storage arrangements,
99
00:03:38,190 --> 00:03:41,510
so I'm reliably informed
they're sticking them in
non-descript boxes
100
00:03:41,550 --> 00:03:44,710
and whacking 'em
in shipping containers
in the staff car park.
101
00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:46,750
With no security?
They've got security.
102
00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:49,110
CCTV, guard with a dog...
103
00:03:49,150 --> 00:03:51,630
What kind of dog?
A fucking labradoodle!
104
00:03:51,670 --> 00:03:53,670
What'd you mean,
what kind of fucking dog?
105
00:03:53,710 --> 00:03:56,950
If it's a fucking Rottweiler,
they're trained to grab
by the throat.
106
00:03:56,990 --> 00:03:58,230
We'll bring some dog food.
107
00:03:58,270 --> 00:04:01,270
There's a thing you can get,
a dart gun, tranquiliser.
Exactly.
108
00:04:01,310 --> 00:04:03,390
Shoot that up its arse
and we're good to go.
109
00:04:03,430 --> 00:04:05,510
Right... you know what I'm gonna ask.
110
00:04:05,550 --> 00:04:06,550
Is this worth it?
111
00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:09,230
All of this trouble
for some weird crap
for his perv room?
112
00:04:09,270 --> 00:04:12,070
Have a bit of vision,
for once in your fucking life, mate.
113
00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:14,350
We could be
the next Hustler Club, yeah.
114
00:04:14,390 --> 00:04:17,870
And it's the class
and attention to detail
that's gonna get us there.
115
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,230
Vinnie? I'm up for it.
116
00:04:20,270 --> 00:04:24,070
Anything that doesn't involve
being in disguise
or in fear for my fucking life.
117
00:04:24,110 --> 00:04:26,070
Grand, yeah. Count me out.
118
00:04:26,110 --> 00:04:28,350
Yeah... me, too.
Just the three of us, then.
119
00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:31,870
The Three Musketeers,
all for one and one for fucking all.
120
00:04:31,910 --> 00:04:33,470
(ALL CHUCKLE)
121
00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:35,990
Where's Cardi?
122
00:04:36,030 --> 00:04:37,030
Cardi!
123
00:04:37,790 --> 00:04:38,790
Car...
124
00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:41,190
Hello.Hello.
125
00:04:41,790 --> 00:04:43,870
What's all that shit on your face?
126
00:04:43,910 --> 00:04:46,470
Have you been tanning? No.
Yeah, you have... oi, oi.
127
00:04:46,510 --> 00:04:48,910
What's he wearing?
What's this man got on?
128
00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:49,950
(LAUGHTER)
129
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,870
You know when you've been tangoed.
130
00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:53,710
Right, come on... do some explaining.
131
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:56,230
(STAMMERING)
I'm just busy, all right.
132
00:04:56,270 --> 00:04:58,430
I'm not always av-ailable, you know.
133
00:04:58,470 --> 00:05:00,870
Sometimes I do have
other things going on in my life.
134
00:05:00,910 --> 00:05:01,910
Yeah? Like what?
135
00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:04,030
Cardi... Cardi, come on. Come on.
136
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:05,310
Have to do a second coat...
137
00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:06,510
Oh, how are you, Vinnie?
138
00:05:06,550 --> 00:05:08,270
She does this with all the fellas.
139
00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:10,950
We're having a spa day
at home today, aren't we, Cardi...
140
00:05:10,990 --> 00:05:12,150
Uh, well, it's, um...
141
00:05:12,190 --> 00:05:13,750
Oh, it's all going on today.
142
00:05:13,790 --> 00:05:15,950
Jacuzzi, massage, facials...
143
00:05:15,990 --> 00:05:18,990
Might even do
a cucumber body wrap later,
if we've the time.
144
00:05:19,030 --> 00:05:20,510
Oh, cucumber body wrap?
145
00:05:20,550 --> 00:05:22,630
Right, well, listen...
Have a lovely time.
146
00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:25,270
Uh... what are you doing?
147
00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:27,390
Go back to your tanning, you.
You're patchy.
148
00:05:27,430 --> 00:05:29,670
Have a good time! Oh, we will!
149
00:05:29,710 --> 00:05:31,510
How much do you want
for your tooth?
150
00:05:32,910 --> 00:05:33,910
Thirty pounds.
151
00:05:33,950 --> 00:05:35,510
Thirty bloody quid?(LAUGHS)
152
00:05:35,550 --> 00:05:37,270
You can have a fiver
if I can touch it.
153
00:05:37,310 --> 00:05:38,470
Gross...
154
00:05:38,510 --> 00:05:39,990
(GRIMACES)
155
00:05:40,030 --> 00:05:41,910
There you go.Thanks.
156
00:05:42,590 --> 00:05:43,670
Good to have you back.
157
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,030
Yeah, it's good to be back.
158
00:05:46,350 --> 00:05:48,310
Thanks for bringing him
to come and see me,
159
00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:49,750
when I was stuck in that hole.
160
00:05:50,230 --> 00:05:51,710
That little face kept me going.
161
00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:54,470
Why don't you go
and play upstairs for a bit?
162
00:05:54,510 --> 00:05:55,590
Go on. Bog off.
163
00:05:57,910 --> 00:05:59,710
We were worried about you.Hmm...
164
00:06:01,470 --> 00:06:02,950
I've been worried about me.
165
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:05,750
I had some dark days.
166
00:06:09,550 --> 00:06:10,550
But him...
167
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:14,190
I really love that boy.
168
00:06:16,270 --> 00:06:17,270
(SOFTLY) I know.
169
00:06:21,550 --> 00:06:22,550
Right...
170
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,670
Gotta go to Jake's
bloody dinner party now.
171
00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:27,190
(CHUCKLES)See you later. See you.
172
00:06:27,230 --> 00:06:29,950
Right, Sugar should be back, OK.
She'll put him to bed.
173
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:31,710
OK.All right, bye, baby.
174
00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:33,150
Love you. Love you.
175
00:06:33,190 --> 00:06:34,190
Enjoy your time.
176
00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:37,550
Aww, bloody snuggles, eh?
177
00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:39,750
What film do you wanna watch?
178
00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:41,270
Hey, Vin.
179
00:06:41,310 --> 00:06:42,470
What can I do you for?
180
00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:44,390
I don't know, man...
181
00:06:46,070 --> 00:06:47,070
Do you ever wish...
182
00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:52,790
..you could just,
you could just tell people things.
183
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:53,830
You know...
184
00:06:54,230 --> 00:06:56,710
If things were just different,
you could tell 'em...
185
00:06:58,750 --> 00:07:02,230
..and they'd be happy,
and you'd be happy.
186
00:07:04,110 --> 00:07:05,590
No... Fuck...
187
00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:08,950
Do you know what I mean?
I know exactly what you mean.
188
00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:10,150
Yeah? Yeah.
189
00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:12,510
I'm seeing this new woman, Casandra.
190
00:07:12,550 --> 00:07:13,870
Total fitness freak.
191
00:07:13,910 --> 00:07:17,710
It's all organic wheatgrass
and tantric vaginal Pilates.
192
00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:20,470
Look what she's got me wearing.
Look at it.
193
00:07:20,510 --> 00:07:22,390
What's that? Detox patch.
194
00:07:22,430 --> 00:07:25,310
She says it realigns my chi.Right.
195
00:07:25,350 --> 00:07:27,830
(SOFTLY) But I'm hooked, Vin.
I'm obsessed with her.
196
00:07:27,870 --> 00:07:30,270
I'm ABSOLUTELY obsessed with her.
197
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:32,630
She's like fragrant Viagra.
198
00:07:32,670 --> 00:07:35,550
All right... The sex is amazing...
199
00:07:35,590 --> 00:07:37,990
I'm happy... I'm happy for you.
Fucking nice knees.
200
00:07:38,030 --> 00:07:40,030
Amazing... AMAZING.
201
00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:42,230
But the intercourse, Vincent...
202
00:07:42,270 --> 00:07:43,270
Oh, my God!
203
00:07:43,310 --> 00:07:44,710
God, I wish you could just...
204
00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:46,230
I wish you could experience...
205
00:07:46,270 --> 00:07:49,350
I wish you could take a day,
step inside my body,
206
00:07:49,390 --> 00:07:51,110
take control of my chopper and...
207
00:07:51,950 --> 00:07:53,670
Just profound... Chris...
208
00:07:53,710 --> 00:07:55,870
Stop, STOP! Sensational!
209
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:56,910
Chris, stop!
210
00:07:56,950 --> 00:07:57,950
Shut the fuck...
211
00:07:57,990 --> 00:07:59,230
You've gone too far again!
212
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:01,830
Why the fuck would I wanna be
your dick for a day?
213
00:08:01,870 --> 00:08:04,430
You hijack these fucking sessions
every time.
214
00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:06,350
Talking about fucking sheilas...
215
00:08:07,910 --> 00:08:09,630
..sloppy blow jobs or whatever.
216
00:08:09,670 --> 00:08:12,070
All right. Quite right.
Let's reverse these roles.
217
00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:14,110
You're the doctor, I'm the patient.
218
00:08:14,150 --> 00:08:15,390
Do you know what I mean?
219
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,670
Sorry. It's all right.
220
00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:19,990
Sorry, Vin.
221
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:22,910
Sorry.
222
00:08:24,030 --> 00:08:25,670
(CLEARS THROAT) So, how are you?
223
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:29,750
I miss my kid.
224
00:08:29,790 --> 00:08:32,030
Well, it's not my kid.
It's the mother of my kid.
225
00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:34,630
She's amazing.
226
00:08:34,670 --> 00:08:36,830
I just I wasn't such a...
(DRIFTS OFF)
227
00:08:36,870 --> 00:08:38,270
What is wrong... Oi.
228
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:39,750
What?
229
00:08:40,190 --> 00:08:42,670
Just tell me about
your tantric minge sex, then.
230
00:08:42,710 --> 00:08:44,790
No. Go on. Carry on.
I was listening.
231
00:08:44,830 --> 00:08:46,830
What are you looking at? Nothing.
232
00:08:46,870 --> 00:08:48,830
You were looking at
your fucking screen.
233
00:08:48,870 --> 00:08:50,950
What you looking at? Nothing on it.
234
00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:52,790
Nothing here. There's no need to...
235
00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:55,790
There! There! There!
There's nothing on it!
Motherfucker!
236
00:09:00,350 --> 00:09:02,750
I don't know why I let you
talk me into these things.
237
00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:04,190
Cos you love it, that's why.
238
00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:07,830
Do we all know what we're doing?
Yeah... Sound.
239
00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:14,070
Oh, fucking hell, dude...
240
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,030
Nearly took my fucking hand off.
241
00:09:18,670 --> 00:09:21,230
You great knobhead,
what are you doing wearing that?
242
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:22,430
Reverse psychology.
243
00:09:22,470 --> 00:09:24,870
Ah, I've always wanted to
use one of these, lads.
244
00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:26,630
Where the fuck did you
get that from?
245
00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:29,070
Kitty Mclean.
Cat burglar? That's him, yeah.
246
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,510
He got a job lot one Christmas.
247
00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:32,350
He only charged me
a tenner for that.
248
00:09:32,390 --> 00:09:33,390
(YELPS)
249
00:09:37,830 --> 00:09:39,230
Argh!
250
00:09:39,630 --> 00:09:40,950
Fuck's sake!
251
00:09:40,990 --> 00:09:42,150
Quiet, dude!
252
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:45,990
Jesus! Quiet?
You've fucking gashed my head open!
253
00:09:46,030 --> 00:09:48,430
It didn't clasp.
Maybe that's why it were a tenner.
254
00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:49,630
Here, let me have a look.
255
00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:53,350
There's fuck all there, man.
256
00:09:53,390 --> 00:09:55,030
Are you sure? Shut the fuck up.
257
00:10:00,910 --> 00:10:04,230
♪ Oh, the sun-drenched French girls
won't relate
258
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,910
♪ To a frozen glare
from the Northern State
259
00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:09,910
♪ Dreamin' of fat, happy babies
260
00:10:09,950 --> 00:10:12,510
♪ Kickin' ladies on the Metro now
261
00:10:15,350 --> 00:10:16,350
♪ Woo
262
00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:19,030
Have you got the tranquiliser gun?
I have it here.
263
00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:22,030
Where do you shoot it? In the arse.
264
00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:23,630
All right, now listen...
265
00:10:23,670 --> 00:10:26,470
For fuck sake, don't miss.
Last thing we need is an angry dog.
266
00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:27,590
I won't.All right...
267
00:10:30,670 --> 00:10:31,750
Fuck me...
268
00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:36,870
Shit...
269
00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:38,550
Vin... What? Look.
270
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,590
Who the fuck are they?
271
00:10:44,350 --> 00:10:46,430
♪ I used to think
life's a bitter pill
272
00:10:46,470 --> 00:10:47,790
(GROANING)
273
00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:51,910
♪ But it's a grand old time ♪
274
00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:01,900
Jake tells me
you're running a local wine bar
alongside your studies.
275
00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:02,940
Impressive.
276
00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:04,980
Well, I wouldn't call it
a wine bar...
277
00:11:05,020 --> 00:11:07,180
It's an evening drinkery.Great.
278
00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:09,420
We must come down.
279
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:12,420
Charlton and I love an excuse
to get out and about.
280
00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:14,020
Yeah, that'd be great.
281
00:11:14,060 --> 00:11:15,140
What's it called?
282
00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:17,980
It's called The Rat and...
Ratatouille.
283
00:11:18,660 --> 00:11:20,980
Right. Fantastic.Mmm.
284
00:11:22,260 --> 00:11:23,580
Amazing cocktails.
285
00:11:23,620 --> 00:11:25,340
Mum loves a cocktail, don't you...
286
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:29,780
Death in the Afternoon.
It's what Hemingway used to drink.
287
00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:30,900
(CHUCKLES)
288
00:11:40,540 --> 00:11:41,700
Motherfuckers...
289
00:11:41,740 --> 00:11:44,380
Who the fuck are they?! No idea.
290
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,740
Who told you about the gear
being kept here?
291
00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:49,500
You remember Sheridan,
my sister's chiropodist? No.
292
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:51,500
Yeah, you do. Big lass, grey hair.
293
00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:52,780
Shiny forehead.
294
00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:56,140
(GROANS)Anyway, her cousin
Rellaine, like Brelaine...
295
00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:57,180
Who's Rellaine?
296
00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:59,020
You met her,
but you were off your face.
297
00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:00,380
Good night, that, won't it.
298
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:03,300
Anyway, she's going out with Ian.
Remember Ian? I do know Ian.
299
00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:04,580
Massive hair.Yeah...
300
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:06,700
Fucking hell. Shut the fuck up.
301
00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:07,740
Yeah...
302
00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:10,020
It doesn't make any difference,
whoever it was.
303
00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:11,060
They have blabbed,
304
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:13,340
and now these wankers
are nicking all our gear.
305
00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:15,260
Shall we just bail?
And let them have it?
306
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:17,300
What's the option?
They're fucking armed.
307
00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:19,220
Fucking armed, JJ? Yes! Armed!
308
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:22,980
Are we seriously
gonna get ourselves killed
for some chairs with dicks on? No!
309
00:12:23,020 --> 00:12:25,180
Hey, hey, hey... erotic curiosities.
310
00:12:25,220 --> 00:12:26,220
All right?
311
00:12:26,260 --> 00:12:28,980
If I wanted a chair with dicks on,
I'd speak to your barber.
312
00:12:29,020 --> 00:12:32,100
Why you always dissing my barber?
Can you tell him please... Oi...
313
00:12:32,140 --> 00:12:33,140
Listen to me.
314
00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:34,580
We're professional thieves.
315
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:37,260
Ashley, we're professional thieves.
316
00:12:38,020 --> 00:12:41,020
We can't have people
turning up before us,
just nicking our shit.
317
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,220
You know what I mean?
318
00:12:44,460 --> 00:12:45,700
Let's get back in the van.
319
00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:49,460
All right, they're coming. Get down.
320
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,740
Fuck's sake... Christ.
321
00:12:51,780 --> 00:12:53,780
Why did you duck in my direction?
322
00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:55,780
Same fucking spot,
are you kidding me?
323
00:12:55,820 --> 00:12:57,140
Right, come on, follow 'em.
324
00:12:57,180 --> 00:12:59,660
Yeah, that's it,
fucking nine-point turn, Ashley.
325
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:02,660
You sexy idiot, what are you doing?!
You fucking big fat hand...
326
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:04,100
Moron...
327
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:08,940
♪ Send me a postcard, darling
328
00:13:08,980 --> 00:13:11,980
♪ How can I make you understand?
329
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:13,980
What's going on?
Why are we slowing down?
330
00:13:14,020 --> 00:13:16,420
Why the fuck are we slowing...
What are you doing?!
331
00:13:16,900 --> 00:13:17,900
It's a red light.
332
00:13:17,940 --> 00:13:20,340
Never mind red light!
We're gonna fucking lose 'em!
333
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:21,620
We're not gonna lose them.
334
00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:24,220
They've gone straight ahead
in a massive green van...
335
00:13:24,260 --> 00:13:27,660
We're in a covert criminal pursuit
and you're obeying the Highway Code!
336
00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:29,420
It'll be a few seconds. Fuck, dude.
337
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,700
(HUMMING)
338
00:13:32,180 --> 00:13:34,900
Taking a while, aren't they...
Go through the red light!
339
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:36,500
The road's completely deserted!
340
00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:37,540
Fine... Green.
341
00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:39,460
(VAN STALLS)
Oh, nice one, you bellend!
342
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:40,900
That's you stressing me out!
343
00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:44,020
I'm fucking stressing you out?
Constantly on at me!
START THE VAN!
344
00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:46,780
I'm starting the fucking van!
(HORN BLARES) Swap seats...
345
00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:48,540
Fucking go! They've gone red again!
346
00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:49,660
You're jiggling...
347
00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:52,100
♪ Before loneliness
will break my heart
348
00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:55,300
♪ Send me a postcard, darling
349
00:13:55,340 --> 00:13:58,340
♪ Send me a postcard, darling...
350
00:13:58,380 --> 00:14:01,460
♪ Send me a postcard, darling... ♪
351
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:02,620
Right, now, listen.
352
00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:04,900
The element of surprise
is our best friend here.
353
00:14:04,940 --> 00:14:08,660
They're not gonna be expecting us
turning up, nicking their gear,
so...
354
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:09,780
Stealth.
355
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:13,260
(HORN TOOTS) Ashley!
356
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:14,620
(HORN TOOTS) Oh, shit!
357
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:16,980
Right, I'll take left,
you take right.
358
00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:21,460
(CLASSIC FM PLAYING GENTLY)
359
00:14:23,180 --> 00:14:24,180
You shit...
360
00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:25,220
(GRAPPLING)
361
00:14:25,260 --> 00:14:26,260
(STRAINING)
362
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,260
(SPRAYING AND GROANING)
I can't see!
363
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,700
Ow! My eyes!
364
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:32,740
(SCREAMING)
365
00:14:32,780 --> 00:14:34,580
(GROANING)
366
00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:38,980
It's me, you daft....
367
00:14:39,860 --> 00:14:41,580
How many fingers... One.
368
00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,260
Brilliant. That'll do. In the van.
369
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,180
(GROANING AND SCREAMING)
370
00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:46,620
Get in in the fucking van...
371
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,500
(SCREAMING)
372
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:49,780
Get in, JJ!
373
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:52,980
Wait! Hey!
374
00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:57,020
That's not fucking JJ!
375
00:14:58,580 --> 00:14:59,580
JJ?!
376
00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:00,620
Go, go, go...
377
00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:02,460
I'll get the other van!
378
00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:05,580
(INDISTINCT SCREAMING AND SHOUTING)
379
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,260
(EXHALES)
380
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:14,740
(PHONE CHIMES)
381
00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:20,060
(CLEARS THROAT)
382
00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:28,900
Hi, Erin.
383
00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:30,820
Hi...
384
00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:34,060
Arr-on?
It's, uh... it's Aaron.
385
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,580
Like, air-on. (CHUCKLES)
386
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:39,180
Anyway, I...
Can I show you something?
387
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:43,860
Uh... yeah, OK. Where? Just...
388
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:44,900
Through? Yeah.
389
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:52,100
It's our old playroom, me and Jake.
390
00:15:52,140 --> 00:15:53,300
(CHUCKLES)
391
00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:56,300
Spent a lot of time in here as kids.
392
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:57,780
Brothers, you know...
393
00:15:58,420 --> 00:16:01,220
Very competitive with each other.
(LAUGHS) I bet.
394
00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:05,260
You got a sibling? Uh, yeah.
I've got a brother.
395
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:07,700
A bit of a moron.(BOTH LAUGH)
396
00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:09,820
Me and Jake were SO competitive.
397
00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:13,980
But, um...
398
00:16:15,620 --> 00:16:16,860
You wanna know something?
399
00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:18,580
Yeah...
400
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,260
I'm better than him.
401
00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:27,420
Right... At everything, Erin.
402
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:31,380
I'm a stallion. He's a gelding.
403
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:35,140
And I've had that confirmed.
404
00:16:36,860 --> 00:16:37,860
So you know...
405
00:16:43,660 --> 00:16:44,660
Word.
406
00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:49,100
Look in there.
407
00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:53,540
They haven't even fucking
nicked everything!
408
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:55,620
Yeah... but they took
the drawers, though.
409
00:16:55,660 --> 00:16:56,660
Where's the chairs?
410
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:57,700
Mate? Eh?
411
00:16:57,740 --> 00:17:00,460
Where's the fucking chaise longue?
Your fault, this is!
412
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:02,900
My fault? Yes! Your fault!
413
00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:04,260
Follow 'em, he says.
414
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:06,540
Yeah, cos I thought
they were gonna take it all!
415
00:17:06,580 --> 00:17:08,540
What the fuck
were I supposed to do, dude?
416
00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:11,820
Hang on till they'd gone,
take whatever they didn't want?
Bollocks!
417
00:17:11,860 --> 00:17:14,180
This is a cock-up, this.
I'm having them drawers.
418
00:17:14,220 --> 00:17:16,700
Like fuck you're having them.
Them's for McCann.
419
00:17:16,740 --> 00:17:19,300
Why do you want drawers
in your pervy sex room, anyway?
420
00:17:19,340 --> 00:17:22,500
What you gonna fucking keep in 'em?
Lots of things, actually, mate.
421
00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:23,540
Lube...
422
00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:25,940
Do you know what,
just fucking have 'em!
423
00:17:30,860 --> 00:17:31,940
(GRUMBLING)
424
00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:34,060
Right, I'm off.
I've got a headache, yeah?
425
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:37,340
Cos this bellend here
dropped a ship's anchor
on my bonnet...
426
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:39,540
Don't storm off. No, mate...
Took it too far.
427
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:40,580
Don't storm...
428
00:17:40,980 --> 00:17:42,940
What the fuck are you laughing at?
429
00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,460
Your eyes are fucked, dude.
430
00:17:45,740 --> 00:17:46,740
Get in the van.
431
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,700
I don't need that shit, Jake.
I know...
432
00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:52,060
Do you know what I mean?
It's just Aaron.
433
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:53,980
He...
He's got a weird sense of humour.
434
00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:55,340
Yeah, it's fucking weird.
435
00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:58,460
I'll talk with him.
436
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,860
Look, go back in...
437
00:18:04,020 --> 00:18:05,100
..have a drink.
438
00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:06,140
Please.
439
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:08,780
OK... Thank you.
440
00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:12,460
(SIGHS)
441
00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:17,740
Do you, um... Do you like 'em?
442
00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:19,140
Where'd you get 'em?
443
00:18:19,740 --> 00:18:21,060
Fell into my possession.
444
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,580
Where? The museum.
445
00:18:22,620 --> 00:18:24,780
Someone robbed the museum,
so we robbed them.
446
00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:25,820
Stolen items...
447
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,660
There's gonna be
a whole shitshow, Vin.
448
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:31,660
This is Regency, 1800s.
449
00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:32,700
Right...
450
00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:36,980
Shall I... Shall I give 'em back?
Give 'em back?
451
00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:39,020
No, you will not
fucking give 'em back.
452
00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:41,860
This is a very nice piece
of furniture.Huh...
453
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,460
But it can't come in the house.
454
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:46,300
I know a man who can
look after it for me.
455
00:18:46,340 --> 00:18:47,980
I'll give him a call in the morning.
456
00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:50,660
Can you hang on to it
until tomorrow? Yeah, course, yeah.
457
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,660
Good lad.
Now get the fuck out of here.
458
00:18:58,380 --> 00:18:59,700
(DOOR CLOSES IN DISTANCE)
459
00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:01,580
What the fuck's this?
460
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:12,820
(PHONE VIBRATES)
461
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,100
Sometimes there's SO MUCH snow,
like last year.
462
00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:17,220
So much snow,
they had to close the slopes...
463
00:19:17,260 --> 00:19:20,060
Am I all right to get some water?
Two minutes. Thank you.
464
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:21,740
♪ Another day
465
00:19:21,780 --> 00:19:22,780
(SIGHS)
466
00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:24,220
♪ Oh, what a wonder
467
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:26,020
♪ Oh, what a waste
468
00:19:27,020 --> 00:19:28,260
♪ It's a Monday
469
00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,460
(LAUGHTER)
470
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:30,740
♪ It's so mundane
471
00:19:30,780 --> 00:19:35,020
♪ What exciting things
will happen today?
472
00:19:35,420 --> 00:19:36,820
♪ All of a sudden
473
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:41,060
♪ I'm having trouble breathing in
474
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:44,420
♪ I'm having trouble breathing in
475
00:19:44,460 --> 00:19:45,460
(LINE RINGS)
476
00:19:46,140 --> 00:19:48,620
♪ I'm having trouble breathing in
477
00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:49,900
All right, this is Dylan.
478
00:19:49,940 --> 00:19:51,820
Leave a message,
unless you're Vinnie.
479
00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:53,580
♪ I'm having trouble breathing in ♪
480
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:56,780
(PHONE RINGS)
481
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,220
(GUNSHOT) Oh, fuck! I'm armed!
482
00:20:19,060 --> 00:20:20,940
It's fucking me, you knobhead!
483
00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:22,220
There's five of us in here!
484
00:20:22,260 --> 00:20:24,140
Oh, yeah, and two... two dogs!
485
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:26,980
So, whoever you are,
you're outnumbered!
486
00:20:27,020 --> 00:20:28,180
It's me!
487
00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:29,780
I know my rights!
488
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:31,100
Oh, fuck!
489
00:20:31,860 --> 00:20:35,820
I can blow your brains out
and no judge in the land'll
convict me!
490
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,500
It's fucking... It's Vinnie!
491
00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:39,180
Put the fucking gun down!
492
00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:40,220
Vinnie? Yeah!
493
00:20:40,260 --> 00:20:41,820
Oh, what you doing?
494
00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:45,180
I thought you were an immigrant!
Why the fuck would I be immigrants?
495
00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:46,220
What do you want?
496
00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:48,340
I thought you were going
back to your shack.
497
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:49,380
Yeah, I know, but...
498
00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:51,500
It's not a bed and breakfast, Vin.
499
00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:53,100
I'm not Airbnb.
500
00:20:53,940 --> 00:20:56,740
I mean, I didn't mind
when your dick was on the line,
501
00:20:56,780 --> 00:20:58,780
but you're just taking the piss now.
502
00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:02,860
I know, but fuck... I need a favour.
503
00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:05,700
Come on!
504
00:21:05,980 --> 00:21:08,380
Now, be careful!
Don't rip the wallpaper!
505
00:21:08,420 --> 00:21:10,220
Are you fucking serious?
506
00:21:10,260 --> 00:21:11,820
Did you wipe your feet, coming in?
507
00:21:11,860 --> 00:21:15,100
Your carpets are so fucked up, dude.
That's vintage, that carpet.
508
00:21:15,140 --> 00:21:16,700
And don't scratch the paintwork.
509
00:21:16,740 --> 00:21:18,140
Don't scratch the edge, dude.
510
00:21:18,180 --> 00:21:20,340
Where are we putting it?
In the guest room.
511
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:23,020
What fucking guests do you have?
Hey, I have guests!
512
00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:26,300
Like who? Like fucking...
People of note!
513
00:21:26,340 --> 00:21:28,500
People you wouldn't even
never have heard of!
514
00:21:28,540 --> 00:21:30,940
Honestly, four months
I've been in that weed shed,
515
00:21:30,980 --> 00:21:33,380
you've had a fucking guest room
this entire time...
516
00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:35,220
Stop fucking moaning.Unbelievable.
517
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:38,460
Fucking... Jesus Christ...
518
00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,300
What? It's a bit patriotic, in't it?
519
00:21:41,340 --> 00:21:42,500
All my own work.
520
00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:45,220
I got someone in for that.
521
00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:47,340
An Englishman's home is his castle.
522
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:51,300
Sing the national anthem
and I'll let you stay the night.
523
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:53,020
Christ...
524
00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:55,780
It's like AirBNP.
525
00:21:59,820 --> 00:22:00,820
Knobhead...
526
00:22:16,850 --> 00:22:19,090
Oh!(BOTH LAUGH)
527
00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:23,850
♪ Baby, please don't go
528
00:22:25,130 --> 00:22:26,370
♪ Baby, please don't go
529
00:22:27,370 --> 00:22:29,850
♪ Baby, please don't go
down to New Orleans... ♪
530
00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:33,850
I hope she isn't pretty.
Why? Because.
531
00:22:34,610 --> 00:22:35,770
For you.
532
00:22:35,810 --> 00:22:38,370
What's better,
he's going out with
an absolute minger?
533
00:22:40,210 --> 00:22:41,210
(SIGHS)
534
00:22:42,130 --> 00:22:43,370
Hiya... Hi.
535
00:22:44,170 --> 00:22:47,650
Pretend not to look,
but I think I'm being followed.
536
00:22:49,010 --> 00:22:50,010
Followed?
537
00:22:51,650 --> 00:22:55,450
By your ex? Or... by secret police?
538
00:22:55,490 --> 00:22:57,970
Uh... by stalkers.
539
00:22:58,010 --> 00:22:59,490
Stalkers? Mmm.Oh.
540
00:23:03,970 --> 00:23:04,970
Oh, no...
541
00:23:05,370 --> 00:23:07,170
They're kissing. Oh, great.
542
00:23:09,130 --> 00:23:10,290
It wasn't passionate.
543
00:23:11,530 --> 00:23:12,850
Well, have they stopped?
544
00:23:14,330 --> 00:23:15,330
Hang on...
545
00:23:17,610 --> 00:23:18,610
No. Still going.
546
00:23:21,490 --> 00:23:22,490
(GIGGLES)
547
00:23:23,410 --> 00:23:24,810
Uh, I think...
548
00:23:25,730 --> 00:23:27,690
(SOFTLY)
I think you've made your point.
549
00:23:27,730 --> 00:23:28,810
I haven't.
550
00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:32,610
Now? Still going.
551
00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:34,450
Still...
552
00:23:35,330 --> 00:23:36,730
Oh, she is pretty...
553
00:23:36,770 --> 00:23:39,650
Wait... Oh, no. Still.
554
00:23:40,970 --> 00:23:41,970
They've stopped.
555
00:23:43,370 --> 00:23:45,370
(STIFLING LAUGHTER)
556
00:23:46,450 --> 00:23:47,530
Jesus...
557
00:23:48,290 --> 00:23:50,690
Oh, do you think they saw us?
How should I know?!
558
00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:51,890
(LAUGHS)
559
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:54,010
This is fucking crazy!
What am I doing?
560
00:23:54,490 --> 00:23:55,970
He doesn't want her.
561
00:23:56,010 --> 00:23:57,810
He's just trying to
make you jealous.
562
00:23:57,850 --> 00:24:00,730
Sugar, I got rid of his kid.
I broke his heart, right...
563
00:24:02,330 --> 00:24:04,410
We're done.
I need to get on with my life.
564
00:24:04,450 --> 00:24:05,450
Come on.
565
00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:07,810
(SHEEP BLEAT IN DISTANCE)
566
00:24:07,850 --> 00:24:09,410
(FRANTIC KNOCKING ON DOOR)
567
00:24:14,690 --> 00:24:15,770
What?!
568
00:24:18,330 --> 00:24:19,330
Where's Vinnie?
569
00:24:19,850 --> 00:24:22,850
He's in bed, why? He's wanted.
570
00:24:23,370 --> 00:24:25,770
So, go and get him out your bed
and into my car.
571
00:24:25,810 --> 00:24:26,810
He's not in my bed!
572
00:24:28,010 --> 00:24:30,890
Do I look like
I sleep with younger men?
573
00:24:30,930 --> 00:24:32,090
Do I?
574
00:24:32,130 --> 00:24:35,450
Do I look like some kind of
fucking perv?!
575
00:24:37,650 --> 00:24:39,050
Just fucking get him.
576
00:24:40,130 --> 00:24:42,690
Inside. Now.
577
00:24:47,290 --> 00:24:49,090
Call me suspicious, Vin,
578
00:24:49,130 --> 00:24:52,610
but the very night
you bring round
some rare drawers to my house,
579
00:24:52,650 --> 00:24:53,650
this happens...
580
00:24:53,690 --> 00:24:55,090
Yeah, fuck, it's connected.
581
00:24:55,130 --> 00:24:57,130
These are the dickheads
we robbed them off.
582
00:24:57,170 --> 00:24:59,170
This is my home! I know...
I'm really sorry.
583
00:24:59,210 --> 00:25:01,290
Did they break in?
No, too much security.
584
00:25:01,330 --> 00:25:03,210
And this clown
fell over a chiminea.
585
00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:04,970
Woke up my wife. They legged it.
586
00:25:06,010 --> 00:25:08,010
I was just trying to do
a good thing, I...
587
00:25:08,730 --> 00:25:10,810
Can I fix it? How?
588
00:25:11,290 --> 00:25:12,530
Fuck, I don't know...
589
00:25:15,090 --> 00:25:16,730
I just can't fathom how they...
590
00:25:19,650 --> 00:25:20,650
The jacket...
591
00:25:24,490 --> 00:25:25,490
Look...
592
00:25:26,410 --> 00:25:27,410
Fucking phone...
593
00:25:27,450 --> 00:25:29,090
I dumped this in here last night.
594
00:25:29,130 --> 00:25:30,130
They've found it,
595
00:25:30,170 --> 00:25:32,130
assumed the drawers
were in your house.
596
00:25:33,450 --> 00:25:34,610
I'll fix it. I'm sorry.
597
00:25:35,210 --> 00:25:36,210
Hang on, stop...
598
00:25:37,050 --> 00:25:39,930
Why would they go to
all this trouble
for a set of drawers?
599
00:25:43,490 --> 00:25:44,970
Why don't we ring 'em up,
600
00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:46,730
tell 'em we've got their drawers,
601
00:25:46,770 --> 00:25:48,490
tell them we want five hundred quid,
602
00:25:48,530 --> 00:25:50,170
then when they come, we jump them.
603
00:25:50,210 --> 00:25:51,210
Find out who they are.
604
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,970
What if they're armed? Armed?
What is it with you and armed?
605
00:25:54,010 --> 00:25:56,170
This bleeding thing
has a passcode on it.
606
00:25:56,210 --> 00:25:59,930
Statistically, you're four times
more likely to get stabbed
than get cystitis.
607
00:25:59,970 --> 00:26:02,930
Where the fucks that? Los Cabos?
The UK, man. I'm telling you.
608
00:26:02,970 --> 00:26:05,610
Yeah, statistically,
that sounds like total nonsense.
609
00:26:05,650 --> 00:26:08,290
Why don't we just leave the phone on
at a new location
610
00:26:08,330 --> 00:26:09,730
and see if they come again.
611
00:26:09,770 --> 00:26:11,570
Where are the drawers now?
Jim's farm.
612
00:26:11,610 --> 00:26:13,170
Right, so, we go there and we wait.
613
00:26:13,210 --> 00:26:16,610
If they see their van,
they'll think they're in business,
it's perfect.
614
00:26:16,650 --> 00:26:17,650
All right, lads.
615
00:26:17,690 --> 00:26:19,930
(ALL GASP AND LAUGH)
616
00:26:19,970 --> 00:26:21,770
Oh, it's fucking getting worse.
617
00:26:21,810 --> 00:26:23,890
She even did a makeover on Nigel.
Look...
618
00:26:25,890 --> 00:26:27,690
He smells like lavender, dude.
619
00:26:27,730 --> 00:26:30,210
THIS is exactly why
I don't get into relationships.
620
00:26:30,250 --> 00:26:31,890
In case you get heavily made over?
621
00:26:31,930 --> 00:26:33,930
They always try and change you,
don't they.
622
00:26:33,970 --> 00:26:34,970
I say to women now,
623
00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:36,890
"This is who I am.
Take it or leave it."
624
00:26:36,930 --> 00:26:39,650
And that doesn't put them off, no?
It does, yeah...
625
00:26:39,690 --> 00:26:43,650
How'd you fancy
a night-long stakeout
in a shitty pig shed?
626
00:26:43,690 --> 00:26:46,930
Can we have coffee and doughnuts?
Can have as many as you want, mate.
627
00:26:46,970 --> 00:26:49,610
And no wheatgrass.
There will be no wheatgrass.Yes...
628
00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:50,730
No more wheatgrass!
629
00:26:50,770 --> 00:26:52,770
(PIGS SNORTING)
630
00:26:54,930 --> 00:26:56,090
All right...
631
00:26:56,130 --> 00:27:02,130
I spy with my little eye
something beginning with... P.
632
00:27:02,170 --> 00:27:03,170
Pig.
633
00:27:03,210 --> 00:27:05,010
Why would it be...
We've had pig twice.
634
00:27:05,050 --> 00:27:06,050
Piss-take, lads.
635
00:27:06,090 --> 00:27:10,050
We have to sit in this cold barn
when there's a lovely warm farmhouse
round the corner.
636
00:27:10,090 --> 00:27:11,730
Swill? That's a fucking S!
637
00:27:11,770 --> 00:27:13,170
Pigswill? No!
638
00:27:13,210 --> 00:27:15,450
Pricks! I didn't know
you were playing!
639
00:27:15,490 --> 00:27:18,290
(LAUGHTER)
Who last used my indoor bog?
640
00:27:18,330 --> 00:27:20,210
Why? I'll tell you why.
641
00:27:21,010 --> 00:27:23,410
Cos someone's left an unsinkable.
642
00:27:23,450 --> 00:27:24,450
(CHUCKLES)
643
00:27:24,490 --> 00:27:25,570
I'm not having it, Vin.
644
00:27:25,610 --> 00:27:29,250
It's just sitting there, rent-free,
like it fucking lives there.
645
00:27:29,290 --> 00:27:32,530
Just pump the handle!
I've pumped the fucking handle!
646
00:27:32,570 --> 00:27:33,970
Who's the perpetrator?
647
00:27:34,010 --> 00:27:36,250
(CHILDISH GIGGLING)
648
00:27:36,290 --> 00:27:37,610
Oh, like that, is it?
649
00:27:37,650 --> 00:27:39,650
Well, fine... I've got all night.
650
00:27:39,690 --> 00:27:41,410
But I'll tell you this...
651
00:27:41,450 --> 00:27:44,930
No one leaves this room
until the culprit's found!
652
00:27:44,970 --> 00:27:46,610
Phf! Intense!
653
00:27:48,290 --> 00:27:49,290
Hmm...
654
00:27:49,850 --> 00:27:51,810
I thought it was gone.
(LAUGHTER)
655
00:27:51,850 --> 00:27:53,330
Well, it fucking hasn't!
656
00:27:53,370 --> 00:27:55,850
What've you been eating?
Mainly protein.
657
00:27:55,890 --> 00:27:56,890
Get back in there!
658
00:27:56,930 --> 00:27:59,810
Knife and fork! Deal with it!
659
00:27:59,850 --> 00:28:01,810
(ALL LAUGH)
660
00:28:01,850 --> 00:28:03,730
Hey, Ashley, chop, chop.
661
00:28:07,850 --> 00:28:11,090
Oi, lads...
Lads, there's someone round there.
662
00:28:11,130 --> 00:28:12,130
Oh...
663
00:28:25,330 --> 00:28:26,330
You, you bastard!
664
00:28:26,370 --> 00:28:28,250
(GRUNTING AND GROANING)Stay calm!
665
00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:29,450
Stay calm!
666
00:28:29,490 --> 00:28:31,290
Don't panic! Stop fighting! Stop it!
667
00:28:31,330 --> 00:28:33,650
Just settle down, man.
We're not gonna hurt you.
668
00:28:33,690 --> 00:28:36,490
We're just gonna ask you
some questions, all right.
669
00:28:36,530 --> 00:28:39,410
Evening. What the fuck
are you doing here?!
670
00:28:39,450 --> 00:28:42,530
Trying to find my post rammer!
I know you've had it off me!
671
00:28:42,570 --> 00:28:43,650
Have I balls!
672
00:28:43,690 --> 00:28:47,570
Stainless steel, solid metal cap.
I saw him admiring it.
673
00:28:47,610 --> 00:28:48,850
He's talking crap!
674
00:28:48,890 --> 00:28:51,050
Post rammer? I'll ram you!
675
00:28:51,090 --> 00:28:52,570
What? What?
676
00:28:54,290 --> 00:28:56,010
With my fist! Oh...
677
00:28:57,210 --> 00:28:58,210
Fucking hell...
678
00:28:58,250 --> 00:28:59,570
What you all doing, anyway?
679
00:28:59,610 --> 00:29:02,170
Sneaking around in the dark,
sticking bags on heads...
680
00:29:02,210 --> 00:29:04,010
We're expecting visitors. Thieves.
681
00:29:04,050 --> 00:29:06,450
Thieves? Yeah.
Told you they were coming, did they?
682
00:29:06,490 --> 00:29:08,450
In a manner of speaking,
they did, yeah.
683
00:29:08,490 --> 00:29:11,570
I just passed a bunch of posh blokes
with their car stuck in a ditch,
684
00:29:11,610 --> 00:29:13,250
but they didn't look like thieves.
685
00:29:13,290 --> 00:29:14,770
Where were this? Down the lane.
686
00:29:14,810 --> 00:29:16,050
Posh cursing, they were.
687
00:29:16,090 --> 00:29:18,410
Looked like they needed
a nice rioja... hey!
688
00:29:18,450 --> 00:29:20,330
♪ The hardest button to button
689
00:29:21,930 --> 00:29:24,010
♪ The hardest button to button ♪
690
00:29:25,530 --> 00:29:28,250
Need any help, fellas?
We're fine, thank you.
691
00:29:28,290 --> 00:29:31,170
Oh, no, no, no... We insist.
692
00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:32,770
"We"?
693
00:29:33,370 --> 00:29:34,530
Shit! Run!
694
00:29:39,730 --> 00:29:40,810
No way...
695
00:29:41,610 --> 00:29:42,690
Mr Bates!
696
00:29:43,530 --> 00:29:44,610
Vinnie!
697
00:29:44,650 --> 00:29:47,210
(LAUGHS) Vincent O'Neill.
You taught me History.
698
00:29:47,250 --> 00:29:48,890
He taught me History, this geezer.
699
00:29:48,930 --> 00:29:52,170
Vincent... how's it going?
Yeah, I'm doing all right.
700
00:29:52,210 --> 00:29:55,610
How's your dad? He's fucked.
Still an alcoholic, in't he?
701
00:29:55,650 --> 00:29:59,530
How you doing? You still teaching?
Early retirement. Yeah?
702
00:30:00,170 --> 00:30:03,050
I assume you've all come for
the erotic drawers, have yer?
703
00:30:03,090 --> 00:30:04,090
Why'd you want 'em?
704
00:30:05,450 --> 00:30:08,250
Well, they're just very appealing,
aren't they? Yeah...
705
00:30:08,290 --> 00:30:10,930
We're enthusiasts,
aren't we, chaps? Yeah, yeah.
706
00:30:10,970 --> 00:30:12,050
Sounds like bollocks.
707
00:30:12,090 --> 00:30:14,570
In school,
we're always taught not to lie,
aren't we?
708
00:30:14,610 --> 00:30:17,410
You did, though. Often.
Oi, that's not the point...
709
00:30:17,450 --> 00:30:18,530
We want the truth.
710
00:30:18,570 --> 00:30:20,810
We can either do it the easy way
or the hard way.
711
00:30:20,850 --> 00:30:22,730
So, why do you want
the erotic drawers?
712
00:30:23,970 --> 00:30:25,530
It's your time you're wasting.
713
00:30:27,290 --> 00:30:28,850
All right, fuck it. Torture 'em.
714
00:30:28,890 --> 00:30:30,290
Everyone grab someone beige.
715
00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:31,570
Wait! No, no! Get off!
716
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,760
Fill that bucket and flick his ears.
717
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:41,600
Ow!
718
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:42,720
Never mind "ow"...
719
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:43,920
Gonna go and get my cane.
720
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,680
I swear to God,
I'm not gonna stop
till someone cracks here.
721
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,800
You're in Guantanamo now, lads.
Don't make me start on your feet.
722
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,400
That house you tried to rob
belongs to Terence McCann,
723
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,320
and if you don't know who that is,
let me tell you,
you don't want him in your life.
724
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:59,360
You've done well for yourself,
Vinnie... thief, hostage taker.
725
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,200
Maybe if you'd made your lessons
a bit more interesting,
726
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,720
I'd have paid more attention.
727
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,560
Do you know what we used to
call you in school? Masterbater.
728
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,480
Smelly-Belly Dog Breath. Fuck Face.
729
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:09,600
The Drone.
730
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:11,720
Because of the droney way
you'd harp on, man.
731
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:15,320
Well, Carl Slater liked my lessons,
and he's done very well for himself.
732
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,000
Carl Slater bums dog, don't he?
733
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:18,040
I tell you what,
734
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:20,640
bell him up and tell him
you've been nicking antiques.
735
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:22,840
Let's see how much he wants to be
your pal then.
736
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:24,120
You becoming a thief...
737
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,560
I mean, honestly,
might be the most interesting thing
you've ever done.
738
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:28,840
You're middle-aged men.
739
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,760
You should be home, real ale,
discussing cruise holidays...
740
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,040
I don't know what you do.
741
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,480
There's a reason
you've all gone to these lengths.
742
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:36,600
And I wanna know why.
743
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:39,480
Take their shoes off.
744
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:41,400
No, no, no, no! OK, OK, OK! OK!
745
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,600
We're a secret history group.
746
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,960
We're all of us experts
in different fields.
747
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,640
And we go deep
into historical research.
748
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:55,800
We've discovered
a little-known secret
749
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:57,800
about the drawers
in your possession.
750
00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:59,640
It could be apocryphal...
751
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,320
What does that mean? Made-up.
752
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:06,080
The story goes
that the maker of the furniture,
Emmanuel Dasigie,
753
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,280
was so fearful his work
would be seized,
754
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:12,120
that he hid some of
his more extreme creations.
755
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:16,160
The story goes that,
before his death, he drew a map.
756
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,680
Concealed it inside
a piece of furniture in his house.
757
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:24,520
We believe
it's inside those drawers.
758
00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,360
Are you for real?
Treasure map. That's unbelievable.
759
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:31,280
Craziest thing I've ever heard.
It's fairy tale stuff.
760
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:35,120
So, you stole the drawers
to try and find the map.
761
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:38,320
Untie him.
762
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:40,160
Just him.
763
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:43,160
Oi! Feet!
764
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:45,280
Fuck sake, dude.
765
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,480
You've been told a load of crap.
There's no fucking map here, man.
766
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:49,920
It must be! It has to be!
767
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:51,600
All our evidence suggests...
768
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,040
Try those legs!
769
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:55,560
I've tried the legs!
Well, twist them! Press them!
770
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,560
I've tried! It's concealed!
It has to be here somewhere! No!
771
00:32:58,600 --> 00:32:59,600
There's nothing!
772
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,200
Looks like your story
was apocalyptic after all.
773
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:06,480
Hey, hang about...
774
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:07,840
That line... see it?
775
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,360
It's not the same colour
as the rest of the wood.
776
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,000
That's not a flush join.
777
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:14,920
He's right...
778
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:16,640
What about...
779
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:19,480
We'll give it a little...
780
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:23,000
Oh...
781
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,800
Oh, fuck. No way...
782
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:28,840
(LAUGHTER) No fucking way, man.
783
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:32,480
Call me a genius.
784
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:36,800
I might be a simple farmer,
but I'm an Englishman...
785
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:37,840
All right.
786
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,360
..with an Englishman's heart.
787
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,200
Jim, Jim, Jim! Shut the fuck up!
788
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,240
That's a fucking map! (CHEERING)
789
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,120
No, no, no, no, no...
790
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:53,480
This is OUR plan,
and you boys just stumbled upon it.
791
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:55,520
Yeah, well,
that might be the case,
792
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,280
but we're
professional thieves... ish.
793
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,480
You know...
And you lot are fucking useless.
794
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:01,920
Hardly!
795
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:03,600
We got the drawers, didn't we?
796
00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,720
Yeah... yeah, you did.
And then we nicked 'em off you.
797
00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,720
And you knocked over
a fucking chiminea,
robbing the wrong...
798
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,080
Chiminea. Chim-in-ea,
robbing the wrong house.
799
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:14,680
And then you got
your fucking car stuck in a ditch.
800
00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:15,720
He's got a point.
801
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:17,320
And if you rob that stately home,
802
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:19,920
you're all gonna get caught
and no one's finding shit.
803
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:21,360
So, here's what I propose...
804
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,280
Now, I'd say nine out of ten
of our jobs go...
805
00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:25,560
Seven, if you're lucky.
806
00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:29,040
Seven out of ten of our jobs...
807
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:30,640
Six-and-a-half, innit, really.
808
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,200
Well... six.
809
00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:35,640
Six out of ten of our jobs
go relatively well.
810
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,000
And up till now, none of yours have.
811
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:39,040
All right?
812
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:40,400
So, you either say yeah,
813
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,760
and potentially come away
with a bit of loot here,
814
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,200
or you say no,
I tell Terence McCann your names,
815
00:34:45,240 --> 00:34:48,200
we let the fucking cards
fall where they may,
what you saying?
816
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:50,040
OK...
817
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:51,960
But we come with you.Yeah...
On the job.
818
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,320
This is OUR adventure,
and we want to be there.
819
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:55,440
Absolutely not.
820
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:59,040
You've got more chance of seeing
a one legged-dog shitting
on a frozen pond.
821
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:00,240
That's fucking final.
822
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,200
This is fun!
Thanks for letting us come!
823
00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:05,800
Shh! Lads! Lads!
824
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,000
Just shut the fuck up!
825
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:09,360
We're on a fucking robbery!
826
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:27,440
All right, listen...
827
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:29,280
Positions.
828
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:33,040
You two take the right,
you two are gonna take the left.
829
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,720
You keep dog eye
while we do the cutting, all right?
830
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:37,640
If you see anyone, walkie-talkies.
831
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:38,680
Go on.
832
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:41,480
Check this out...
833
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:42,920
Couple of bloody pros here.
834
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:44,840
We're gonna be in here
in five minutes.
835
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:48,200
Last one.
836
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,800
Do you see what I mean?
Do you see what I mean...
837
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,160
(SIRENS BLARE) Oh, shit!
838
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:05,880
(SIRENS CONTINUE TO SOUND)
839
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,520
Move it! Hurry the fuck up, dude!
840
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:12,560
It's my knees...
841
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,000
(GRUNTS)
842
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,000
Well, that's it. We've blown it.
We need to get out of here.
843
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,920
Honestly,
that's an amateur response.
844
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,360
What we're gonna do,
we're gonna stay here, all right?
845
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,120
Right here, quiet.
846
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,160
What? Christ...
847
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,680
I said,
"We're gonna stay here, quiet."
848
00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:32,720
Ah...
849
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:36,000
Cos pound to a penny,
no fucker comes out tonight
to reset that system.
850
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:37,600
♪ Cos I'm a cowboy
851
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,360
♪ On a steel horse, I ride ♪
852
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,120
(SIRENS BLARING)
853
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,160
Had a thought earlier.
854
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:52,960
Yeah?
855
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,440
We could have just come
during visiting hours.
856
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:58,080
You what?
857
00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:01,280
I mean... we didn't need to
break in, did we?
858
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,720
We could have just paid
and walked in as tourists.
859
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,080
That's a much better idea.
860
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,760
(FOOTSTEPS CRUNCHING ON GRAVEL)
861
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:12,160
(GUARD FARTS)
862
00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:16,560
Sandman, come in Sandman.
This is Beaver Three.
863
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,080
(OVER RADIO)
Any sign of intruders, Beaver Three?
864
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:20,600
Negative. Over.
865
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,520
Has the site been penetrated,
Beaver Three?
866
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,560
Negative, Sandman.
No sign of penetration.
867
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:30,000
(RADIO CHIRPS)Then I suggest
we leave this to the morning shift.
868
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,120
Affirmative, Sandman. Over.
869
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:34,160
(RADIO CHIRPS AS GUARD FARTS)
870
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:35,200
Oh...
871
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:37,440
(GLASS SHATTERS)
872
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:54,040
♪ Show me
873
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:56,560
♪ Show me ♪
874
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:03,840
Do you know, this... Yeah?
875
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,320
This is like a proper...
876
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:08,760
Like, Indiana Jones...
877
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,680
(ORNAMENT SHATTERS)
878
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:12,640
Shit.
879
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,840
You've fucking broke that now,
ain't you, you bellend?
880
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:22,040
(STAMMERING) Sorry...
881
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,800
Can only take you somewhere twice.
Once is to apologise.
882
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:26,160
Now get the fuck down there.
883
00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,120
Right... according to the map,
884
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,800
secret door's
somewhere across that wall there...
885
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:45,920
And the mechanism for said door
is... up there.
886
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,160
Right, who fancies lifting me up?
Not you.
887
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:50,360
Right. Go on, Tom.
888
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,200
Oh, oh... (GROANING AND GRUNTING)
889
00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:53,240
Fucking hell...
890
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,120
It's stuck.
891
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:56,680
Try again.
892
00:38:58,280 --> 00:38:59,440
Do you think?
893
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,440
Cos I was just gonna fuck it off
after all this trouble, go home.
894
00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,280
Lemon. Christ, you've a bony arse.
895
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:05,800
I told him that last week.
896
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,840
Why were you feeling his arse?
You're killing my shoulders, Vin.
897
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:12,200
Well, know what,
your big fat head's
mashing my balls to smithereens.
898
00:39:12,240 --> 00:39:14,240
We've all got
our fucking crosses to bear.
899
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:15,520
Got it.
900
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,040
Oh... (CREAKING)
901
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,560
You've got it. It's open.
(STAMMERS) You've done it.
902
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:20,760
Put me down, Ash.
903
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,080
Mr Bates, get the fuck out of way...
904
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:26,120
Let's all queue up,
like we did at school.
905
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:30,360
(GROANS) Ah!
906
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:31,720
Come on, lads...
907
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,160
This is doing nothing
for my claustrophobia.
908
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,000
It's like a Berlin sex party.
909
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,920
There's something ahead,
an opening!
910
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,040
Like I say...
911
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:51,880
It's here! It's bloody here!
912
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:53,400
The secret room!
913
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:54,520
We've found it!
914
00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,360
Holy shit...
915
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,480
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Such an adventure...
916
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:00,520
Fuck...
917
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:02,960
It's a cleaning rota.
918
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,560
No one's been here
since 197-fucking-5.
919
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:08,560
Fucking coffee cups
and shit like a bed down there.
920
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,000
This is where the staff
came to skive off, this.
921
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:12,040
It can't be!
922
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:16,720
All our research suggests
this is Emmanuel's
secret storage space.
923
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:18,400
All your research, eh?
924
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:21,160
I'm sure Emanuel
is up in heaven right now,
925
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:22,920
laughing himself silly over this,
926
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:24,960
sat in a massive cock-shaped harp.
927
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,160
(SIGHS)Fuck!
928
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:28,200
Fuck it...
929
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:30,200
Let's smoke a spliff.
930
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:34,840
Cheers, lads. Nice one.
Have a good night.
931
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,440
Arr-on. I mean, Aaron...
932
00:40:39,480 --> 00:40:43,200
What you doing here? Is this...
I thought you worked in a wine bar.
933
00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:45,120
(BOTH LAUGH)
934
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:46,800
The chances of this... Mmm...
935
00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:48,240
Incredible coincidence.
936
00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,440
How about I buy you a drink?
How about you go home?
937
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:53,640
Oh, hang on...
We got off to a bad start.
938
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:55,160
I apologise.
939
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,680
Let me buy you a drink.
No, thanks. I'm good.
940
00:40:57,720 --> 00:40:58,880
Your choice.
941
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,920
But if you're gonna be
serious with my brother,
942
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:03,920
we need to at least... get on.
943
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:07,920
How much is entry? Ten.
944
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:11,200
Tenner it is.
945
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:15,480
Thank you.
946
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:18,960
I hope they look like you in there.
947
00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:20,000
(SNIGGERS)
948
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:29,280
(CLEARS THROAT)
949
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:30,320
(LINE RINGS)
950
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,120
Hey... Hi.
951
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,160
Um...
952
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,800
It's over. What?
Me and you, Jake. It's over.
953
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:40,920
OK, I'm sorry. It's just...
It's not right.
954
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:41,960
We're done.
955
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,160
Erin, I... No, Jake.
956
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,080
Jake, you know it yourself,
all right?
957
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:46,120
It's...
958
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:47,840
I'm sorry.
959
00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:50,120
It's over.
960
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:51,880
Erin...
961
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:58,760
♪ When I was young,
younger than before
962
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:07,440
♪ I never saw the truth
hanging from the door ♪
963
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,880
Right... Go on, sod off, then.
964
00:42:18,920 --> 00:42:19,920
I need my bed.
965
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,360
It was fun, that.Mmm...
An adventure.
966
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:26,840
It's what we do, innit?
Adventures.
967
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:29,920
It's an important lesson that,
though.
968
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,840
You can't always come away
with gold, can you? No...
969
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:35,920
But...
970
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:38,120
..sometimes...
971
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:41,080
..you can find...
972
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:43,680
..silver.
973
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:45,760
Where'd you find that?
974
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:47,440
Found it in the, uh...
975
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:48,960
(STAMMERS) ..secret room.
976
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,480
You know,
when we were having a spliff.
977
00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,520
(INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)
978
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,480
No way...
979
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,280
I didn't want
them teachers to have it.
980
00:42:58,320 --> 00:42:59,640
I wanted to give it to you.
981
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:01,640
Eh? No, no, no...
982
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,560
I can't take that off you.
That's finders keepers. No, no...
983
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:05,680
I want you to.
984
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:07,560
Cos, uh...
985
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:09,320
You know...
986
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:11,480
You've been sad.
987
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,760
I'm really glad, uh,
that you're alive again.
988
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:21,880
Me, too.
989
00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:23,840
Love you, mate.
990
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,440
I love you, dude.
I love you, too, man.
991
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,440
Look after yourself, yeah?
All right...
992
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:38,280
Go on. Sod off.
993
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,480
♪ I once had a life
994
00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:45,000
♪ Or rather, life had me
995
00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:51,520
♪ I was one among many,
or at least I seemed to be
996
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:56,400
♪ Well, I read an old quotation
in a book...
997
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,520
Right, get your shit together.
998
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:01,280
Get your shit together,
we'll get out the fuck out of here.
999
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:02,320
Cardi, come on.
1000
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:04,680
I'll buy you a kebab
on the way home... all right.
1001
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:06,840
♪ Can you get to that? ♪
1002
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,640
Why don't you try a change of scene?
1003
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:16,640
See if that has any effect
on your dreams.
1004
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,240
Why don't you stop here tonight?
1005
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,080
You'd have the whole pub
to yourself.
1006
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:21,200
They're all coked-up!
1007
00:44:21,240 --> 00:44:22,320
Oh...
1008
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,240
Some fucker's in the cellar.
1009
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:26,600
What are you doing, anyway?
1010
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:27,880
Oh... fuck!
1011
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:29,760
Just chilling.
1012
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,600
This is my friend Dylan.Hi.Hi...
1013
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:34,440
I made the woman I love
shit her pants.
1014
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:35,480
Wow.
1015
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:38,480
♪ I got so much trouble in my mind
1016
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,600
♪ I got so much trouble in my mind
1017
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,760
♪ I got so much trouble in my mind
1018
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:51,600
♪ I got so much trouble in my mind
1019
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:55,000
♪ I got so much trouble in my mind
1020
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,800
♪ Give me the strength
to carry on... ♪
1021
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:05,600
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