All language subtitles for Young Sheldon - 3x15 - Episode 15.HDTV.AVS.en

Previously on Young Sheldon...

Would you teach me how
to throw a baseball?

What's bringing this on?

- I don't know.
- You Coach Ballard?

That'd be me.

My daughter's here to try out.

She made the team.

Congratulations.

And Meemaw got a date with the coach.

I was married for 18 years,

and I got to tell you,
those were the two best years

of my life.

Practice running late?

Yeah.

The Sparks kid got himself
stuck in the bathroom.

How'd that happen?

Well, the door's a push
and he was a-pulling.

Look at him out there.

Billy's my grandson.

Oh.

I am so sorry. I...

I mean, not that he's your grandson.

I'm just... I'm-a stop talking now.

I'm messing with you.

Well...

You got me, all right.

Ah, no.

That one's mine over there. Evan.

Oh, I-isn't that the coach's grandson?

Uh-huh.

So you must be Coach Ballard's ex-wife?

Yeah. Why?

No reason.

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Growing up, I had an
aversion to any type of group.

For example, rock groups.

I'll restrict my drug
use to Rolaids, thank you.

Group costumes.

I'll tell you who really
didn't have a heart: my mother,

for making me wear a funnel on my head.

But of all the groups I didn't like,

by far the worst was...

Group projects.

Yeah. You heard me.

This would be a lot
more fun with margaritas.

What isn't?

Then you'd love the way I ran the PTA.

And you'd love the way
I show up at church.

You're fun.

We ought to go out for drinks one night.

I'll give you my number.

Oh, yeah. Oh, well...

All right. I'm around
tomorrow if you're free.

Uh, sure.

You should know something, though.

Um, I'm kind of dating your ex-husband.

You waited till now to tell me?

You're sneaky. I like that.

That is not the feedback I usually get.

Well, since we're being honest,

I knew who you were the whole time.

That's why I came over here.

Damn. Nicely played.

So we're still on for drinks?

Oh, hell yeah.

Yeehaw.

Can't we just do this individually?

Why are you complaining? I'm
the one stuck working with a kid.

Hey. When it comes to physics,
I'm practically a coot.

Which is an old person word
for someone who's old. Tell him.

- It is.
- Let's just go

to a coffee shop and get this over with.

I can't go now. I have to get
home for my bath and bedtime.

Which is also something
an old person does.

That we do.

Can I at least switch groups?

Sorry. I assigned this
project because it's important

for scientists to learn
how to collaborate.

If we must work together,
here's my proposal.

I do everything by myself
and put their names on it.

- No.
- What's going on?

- Dr. Sturgis is forcing us to collaborate.
- Oh...

And we wanted to get it done tonight,

but apparently there's a
bedtime and shower conflict.

Bubble bath.

Oh, right, it's bath night.

How about we work in my dorm tomorrow?

Um, I don't know

if a dormitory is the right
environment for someone his age.

If you're worried
about the beer-drinking,

Dad has thoroughly desensitized me.

How about you all
come work at our house?

I guess if that's our only option.

It'll be fun. I'll make food.

You can even bring your laundry.

That actually would be great.

Now this man's soiled underpants

will be in my kitchen.

Thank you.

I-I just don't understand why
you want to go out with her.

You don't? She seems like fun.

Well, yeah, she is, until you marry her

and then you find her sleeping
upside down in the closet.

No, I mean, seriously.

You don't think that having drinks

with my ex-wife is a little weird?

You went camping with John.

Oh, it was weird.

Trust me. Learn from me.

She spent 18 years with you.
I'd rather learn from her.

So you can dig up a little dirt on me?

Mm, yeah.

Well, let me spoil it, then.

She's gonna tell you about the time

I had a little too much
to drink on Halloween

and I ended up puking
in my son's candy bucket.

I bet she tells it better.

Then there was the time we had a fight

- and I locked her out in a hailstorm.
- Damn.

But in my defense, when I locked
her out it, it was raining.

The hail was heaven-sent.

You're a charmer.

So...

You didn't do anything you
regret when you were married?

Oh, lots of stuff.

Feel free to grab a shovel

and go have some drinks
with my dead husband.

Oh, that's dark.

Not as dark as my secrets.

Oh, you-you... You are so hot.

Ooh, chocolate chip.

Just one. The rest are
for Sheldon's friends.

- Ready to go?
- Yep.

- Go where?
- The mall.

What happened to asking for permission?

I asked Dad.

You know that doesn't count.

That's what he said.

Bye.

Love you.

Keith, Sam, come in.

Sheldon, your friends are here.

Let me put

- that laundry in for you.
- Oh, thank you.

None for you?

That's okay. I can do my own laundry.

Oh. Okay.

Hello, Sam, Keith,

big bag of dirty underpants.

Hey, there.

I hope you don't mind,
I started without you.

Not at all.

Is this one for me or am I gonna
be carrying you home tonight?

It's all yours.

Cheers.

- I like your blouse.
- Oh, you do?

Truth be told, I changed
my outfit three times.

For little old me?

Well, I've never gotten drinks
with a boyfriend's ex-wife.

Do you try to look hot

or do you try to look
like you're not trying?

Well, clearly, you went for hot.

I wasn't even trying.

I think we can explain
the additional electrons

if we assume the barrier
has a slope to it.

- That won't work.
- Okay, well, what if the electrons

- are a product of...
- We need to consider that the electrons

are actually moving backwards in time.

No, that math's gonna take forever.

Let's just do it my way.

Can you write on the board?

You probably have the best handwriting.

Why? Because I'm a girl?

I'm sure it's better than mine.

I only learned to write six years ago.

Well, we've covered
football and grandkids...

Our favorite Golden Girl.

Did not peg you for a Dorothy.

What have we left out?

Hmm. I don't know.

Maybe we've run out
of stuff to talk about.

Oh, wait. We forgot
about your ex-husband.

The one you're dating.

Ah... What do you want to know?

Well, I know not to piss
him off during a hailstorm.

He told you that?

He wanted to throw himself under the bus

rather than let you push him.

Well, did he tell you that I
was naked when he locked me out?

No! Why did he do that?

'Cause I was trying to
hit him with a golf club.

What were you doing naked

with a golf club in a hailstorm?

Uh, you know, it was the '70s.

I remember. What else you got?

Hey, there's my man!

The doctor's in the house!

- Hello, y'all!
- Oh, boy.

Hey!

Connie!

Hey, John.

How?

We used to date.

So you dated him and Dale?

You don't have a type, do you?

What are you doing here?

Me? What are you doing here?

Well, this is where I hang out now.

I grade papers,

I chat with the other patrons.

The people who like to bet on
football rub my head for luck.

John, this is June.

- Hi.
- June.

After Juno, wife of Jupiter
and queen of the gods.

No, after the fact that my
mom got knocked up in June.

Ribald! Wonderful.

So, um,

how do you two know each other?

Well, June here, actually,

is Dale's ex-wife.

And I am Connie's ex-boyfriend.

Is that fun or weird?

Yeah.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Okay.

All right, something's
not working out here.

Perhaps it's the way you're pacing.

Pick a number of steps and stick to it.

Maybe it's because
you two aren't helping.

Oh, really? But I'm writing
with my prettiest handwriting.

- Don't be a child.
- Hey!

Oh, you were talking to her.

Who wants pigs in a blanket?

Actually, do you have coffee?

I just made a pot, help yourself.

- Anything I could get you?
- I need a cigarette.

So how's it going?

Great. Now that those two are gone,

I can finally get some work done.

They call it "Hot Dog on a Stick,"

but that's not the only
food on a stick they sell.

It's not?

- They also got cheese on a stick.
- Oh, no.

- You hiding from that guy?
- No.

Oh, I get it, you like him.

Shut up.

Aren't you a little young for that?

How old were you when
you started liking girls?

Buh-bye. Bye.

Hey, everybody, free
drinks on the house!

Dang.

Way older than you.

Doesn't matter, he
doesn't like me anyway.

Sorry.

I liked it better when
you wanted to marry ALF.

I still kind of do.

So you went camping
with Dale? How'd that go?

Oh, I hesitate to speak ill of him...

I divorced him. Say what you want.

- Then, it was terrible.
- Ah-ha!

All right, come on, let's
talk about something else.

Okay.

A lot of people here like
to talk about the game.

Really? You speak sports now?

I sure do. Check this out.

Hey, ref! I suggest you
go back to referee school

and this time pay attention in class!

You tell him, Doc.

You're a doctor?

He has his PhD in physics,

but his specialty is
quantum chromodynamics.

Wow, that sounds interesting.

Oh, it is. And I would
tell you more about it,

but I'm lucky I remembered
the quantum chromodynamics.

And you didn't even
have to rub his head.

Well, it's here if the mood strikes.

Ugh, come on, Bucky,

try throwing it to
someone on your own team.

Is that the Aggie game?

Yeah, we're down by ten.

You like A&M?

I was raised a Cornhusker,
but when in Texas...

Huh, science and sports?
Didn't know that was a thing.

It is possible to be a
scientist and a normal guy.

May your team be victorious!

Not my experience.

I brought you some coffee.

You don't have to keep waiting on us.

I'm sorry, is there a problem?

- I'm just frustrated.
- Is it Sheldon?

It's Sheldon and Keith and
every other guy in our field,

which is basically everyone.

There were only three other women

and one of them just
dropped out to get married.

Oh, good for her.

O-Or bad, bad for
science, bad for women.

None of the guys in my
class take me seriously,

and honestly, it doesn't
help when women like you

run around doing their
laundry and making them snacks.

I'm just being a good host.

Yeah, and raising another
boy to think that all women

are just notetakers and mommies.

I'm sorry I'm making
life so hard for you.

And for your information,

Sheldon does not look down on women,

he looks down on everyone.

Friday the Thirteenth Part VIII:

Jason Takes Manhattan
might be the best one.

Muppets also took Manhattan.

There he is again.

Why don't you go talk to him?

Are you crazy? Look how beautiful he is.

Sorry, the only guy I'm
calling beautiful is me.

And maybe David Hasselhoff.

I understand that you want to
be appreciated for what you do,

but so do I.

This is my home and
taking care of my family

is the choice that I've
made, and I am proud to do it.

Okay.

It is okay.

And I am sorry if me baking cookies

says something bad about women,

but if you think that Sheldon
is difficult to work with now,

you should try him with low blood sugar,

he is a monster.

Someone's got to be in charge,

but when you step up and
do it, everyone gets upset.

So your problem is a woman's mad at you

and Sheldon thinks you're dumb?

- Yeah.
- Welcome to my life, friend.

W-What do I do?

You-you quit complaining.

You're young, you're smart,

you're not tied down.

This is as good as it gets.

It is?

Yes.

I wish I was 20 again.

Eating and drinking and being skinny.

Now go back in there,
finish your project,

and get your ass to a keg party.

Go!

Somehow, my parents calmed everyone down

and got us back on track.

We listened to each other's thoughts,

and we worked as a team...

for almost four whole minutes.

All right, that doesn't make any sense.

Because you don't understand it.

It makes total sense, Keith.

Please, just take
your underpants and go.

Just say hi, keep it casual,

pretend like you don't care that much.

But I care the most.

See, that's gonna freak him out.

- How do you know?
- 'Cause it's freaking me out.

Now go.

No touching! That's right, you heard me!

Hello?

Hi, Connie.

Hi, John.

It was a nice surprise
running into you the other day.

It was.

Anyway, question:

Do you think your friend June
is interested in me romantically?

Oh, I...

Gee, I don't know.

I only ask because
I'm not good at knowing

what other people are feeling.

I'm aware.

- So could you ask her for me?
- No.

You're right, I should
probably do it myself.

Can I have her number?

Well, you won over a whole bar,

maybe you could win over June, too.

Hello?

Hi, June. John Sturgis here.

We met the other day.

I'm, uh, the scientist
who won over the whole bar.

Oh, sure, I remember you.

Good, good. Anyway,

I was wondering if you had
any romantic interest in me.

Well, you don't beat
around the bush, do you?

In medieval times,

hunters used to hire men to
beat the area around bushes

with sticks in order to
flush out game, so no,

I guess I don't do that.

John,

you're a really sweet guy,

but I didn't feel like

we had that kind of connection.

Oh. I see.

I'm sorry.

No, that's all right. Um...

You know, the truth is,

I'm-I'm still kind of
heartbroken over Connie,

and, uh, I was hoping if

someone else liked me,

it might make it hurt less.

Well, I don't know either
one of you very well,

but I wouldn't write
off Connie just yet.

Why? Did she say something?

No, but, uh, it's just
the way she looked at you.

See? That's what I'm terrible at.

How do you people do it?

Look, I know she's with Dale right now,

but we were married for a long time.

Trust me, he's gonna screw this up.

Follow up question: Should I
mention any of this to Connie?

Mm, I wouldn't.

Excellent. Bye.

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