Original subtitles

CHEERING

'For over 20 years, V Festival rocked Essex and Staffordshire.'

'As thousands of music fans and some of the biggest artists in the world

'arrived en masse for a huge summer knees-up.'

'Things might be a little different in 2020,

'but that doesn't mean we can't have some live music of our own.'

'So, get ready to enjoy an intimate VIP festival experience,

'from the comfort of your own home.

'Because, right now, a very special V Festival is back.

'We've brought our wellies... so you don't have to.'

Hello and welcome to Virgin Media's V Festival 2020!

We're all set for another night of great music

here at Hylands Park in Chelmsford.

I'm Joel Dommett.

And I'm Maya jama, and on the way tonight,

we've got performances from Dizzee Rascal and Maisie Peters.

We'll also be looking back at classic sets from massive artists,

and we'll basically just be living our best virtual festival life!

We'll be watching it all from here

in our very own socially-distant VIP area.

It's where we're spending the whole weekend, but don't worry,

we've blagged you a free pass.

Although you might have to do a few shifts on the burger stall.

Just a couple. We've got loads coming up,

so let's get this show on the road.

Kicking off our second night at V Festival 2020 -

make some noise for Dizzee Rascal! Yeah!

CHEERING

What's going on, V Festival? My name is Dizzee Rascal.

OK! Let me see some signal.

CHEERING

Where are ya? Yeah.

# I wake up every day It's a daydream

# Everythin' in my life Ain't what it seems

# I wake up just to go back to sleep

# I act real shallow But I'm in too deep

# And all I care about ls sex and violence

# A heavy bass line ls my kind of silence

# Everybody says That I gotta get a grip

# But I let sanity Give me the slip

# Some people think I'm bonkers

# But I just think I'm free

# Man, I'm just livin' my life There's nothin' crazy about me-e-e

# Some people pay for thrills But I get mine for free

# I'm just livin' my life

# There's nothin' crazy About me-e-e-e... #

V Festival 2020, where's the noise?

CHEERING

Let's go, let's go, let's go. Come on. # Bonkers #

M Kizzle. Get 'em started.

Yeah. Yeah.

# I wake up every day It's a daydream

# Everythin' in my life Ain't what it seems

# I wake up just to go back to sleep

# I act real shallow But I'm in too deep

# And all I care about ls sex and violence

# A heavy bass line ls my kind of silence

# Everybody says that I got to get a grip

# But I let sanity give me the slip # Bonkers

# Some people think I'm bonkers But I just think I'm free

# I'm just livin' my life

# There's nothin' crazy about me-e-e

# Some people pay for thrills But I get mine for free

# I'm just livin' my life There's nothin' crazy about me-e-e-e

# Ooh

# I'm melting in the floor now

# Floor now #

Break it down.

Yeah.

# I wake up every day It's a daydream

# Everythin' in my life Ain't what it seems

# I wake up just to go back to sleep

# I act real shallow But I'm in too deep

# And all I care about ls sex and violence

# A heavy bass line ls my kind of silence

# Everybody says That I got to get a grip

# But I let sanity Give me the slip #

# Bon, bon, bon, bon Bon, bon, bon, bon #

# Some people think I'm bonkers But I just think I'm free

# I'm just livin' my life There's nothin' crazy about me-e-e-e

# Some people pay for thrills But I get mine for free

# I'm just livin' my life

# There's nothin' crazy About me-e-e-e. #

Woo!

Levels.

RECORD SCRATCH SOLO

Yes.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Woop-woop!

Wow. Very good.

We'll have more from Dizzee on the way a bit later,

but right now, let's see who's in our interactive VIP area,

connecting with us virtually from the comfort of their own homes.

It's like actually being here,

except they won't spend the next three months

finding glitter in weird places. Exactly that.

We have Elton and Jessie from London. inseparable housemates...

Woo-woo! Very excitable, there, as you can see. Oh, my Lord.

...who've had an insane 11 festivals lined up this summer

before everything obviously got cancelled!

We've got Daniel and Raphael, who are twin brothers,

MASSIVE Dizzee Rascal fans.

We've also got Kishan and Charlie from Birmingham.

They're both doctors,

and they've been working on the front line together. Actual heroes!

Well done, guys. Well done, dudes.

And we've got Mia and Laura from London.

Two girls with a HUGE passion for festival fashion.

You all look absolutely wonderful.

Everyone's really, really stepped it up.

Thank you, guys. Thank you so much.

We've got another classic V Festival performance now on the way now.

Take a look.

# Today I don't feel like doing anything

# I just wanna lay in my bed

# Don't feel like picking up My phone

# So leave a message at the tone

# Cos today I swear I'm not doing anything

# I'm gonna kick my feet up And stare at the fan

# Turn the TV on Throw my hand in my pants

# Nobody's gon' tell me I cant

# No I'll be loungin' on the couch Just chillin' in my snuggie

# Flip to MTV So they can teach me how to Dougie

# Cos in my castle I'm the freakin' man

# Yes I said it I said it

# I said it cos I can

# Today I don't feel like Doing anything

# I just wanna lay in my bed

# Don't feel like picking up My phone

# So leave a message at the tone

# Cos today I swear I'm not doing anything

# Nothing at all Ooh-hoo, ooh-hoo

# Hoo-ooh-ooh Nothing at all

# Ooh-hoo, ooh-hoo

# Hoo-ooh-ooh

# Tomorrow I'll wake up do some P90x

# Meet a really nice girl Have some really nice sex

# And she's gonna scream out This is great

# Oh, my God, this is great Yeah

# I might mess around And get my college degree

# I bet my old man Will be so proud of me

# But sorry, Pops You'lljust have to wait

#Oh

# Yes I said it I said it

# I said it cos I can

# Today I don't feel like Doing anything

# I just wanna lay in my bed

# Don't feel like picking up My phone

# So leave a message at the tone

# Cos today I swear I'm not doing anything

# No, I ain't gonna comb my hair

# Cos I ain't goin' anywhere

# No, no, no, no N0. no, no, no, no, oh

# l'lljust strut In my birthday suit

# And let everything hang loose Yeah

# Yeah, yeah

#Oh

# Today I don't feel like Doing anything

# Cos I just wanna lay in my bed

# I don't feel like picking up My phone

# So leave a message at the tone

# Cos today I swear I'm not doing anything

# Nothing at all Ooh-hoo, ooh-hoo

# Nothing at all Ooh-hoo, ooh-hoo

# Nothing at all Oh

# Nothing at all Oh, no, no

# Ooh-ooh, hoo-ooh-ooh

# Nothing at all. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Wonderful stuff. Another great V Festival performance, there.

And Dizzee Rascal is here, everybody.

CHEERING

Great stuff. How are you feeling being back at V?

I'm good, man. I love it. Always come back here.

It's nothing. It's cool. It's a little bit different, but same vibe.

Still got lovely people there. All blessed, they're happy.

It's a good crowd. It's a good crowd.

You've been to V, I think it's, like, five times.

It's my fifth, yeah. This is my sixth, yeah, yeah.

What keeps you coming back? Well, they keep asking, innit?

LAUGHTER

Yeah, man, I love festivals, though.

From when I made that transition

from underground pirate radio, and all that. Mm.

Soon as I got to do festivals, another world opened up to me.

It's always been so positive. I love the energy at festivals.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, man.

Now you're back. New music's on that way.

You and Chip collaborated. Yes, Chip was supposed to be here.

We've got a song called Love Life Live Large.

We shot a video for it last week. He was supposed to be coming today,

but he threw up in the car on the way. So he had to turn back,

so I'm gonna be doing it by myself. But big up, Chip, get well soon.

A new album, as well. Yes, new album's done. Done.

We're shooting videos. It's coming out. I'm proper happy about it.

That's what I've been working on in the lockdown.

It's been three years... Long time. ..since my last album.

Do you think this is gonna be the last one?

Never. I was gonna say. No way.

I'm gonna be doing this when I'm 80. You're not getting rid of me.

You're gonna be up there, old and grey. Yes, sir.

Jumping around. Yeah. Cos there's not many people

that have been able to sustain a career consistently...

You've 17 years. What's your secret? It's mad.

To just keep going, man. I'm a music fan, as well.

First and foremostly. So, I just...

You have your moments where you're the most popular thing,

and you have to watch what everything else is happening.

And just try and get back out there. Try and be inspired.

I think that's the main thing, innit? Yeah.

You can see how excited you are about it, as well.

Definite. Cos three years, I can't do that again.

I can't have these gaps, especially in this day and age.

Keep 'em coming. Keep 'em coming.

Such a pleasure to have you on the show.

Dizzee Rascal, everybody. Thank you.

Thank you for being on the show. Thank you.

Now, here in our VIP area, we've got everything you need

to enjoy a festival. We've got a great view of the stage.

We've got comfy seats.

For the love of God, we've got Dizzee Rascal!

Yep. All we need now is some tasty festival food.

Let's head over to our resident foodie - I love him - it's Big Zuu,

and find out what he's cooking today.

Thanks, guys. If you love eating like I love eating -

and I love eating - you've come to the right place.

These days, you can find foods from all over the world at a festival,

and today, we're gonna get a taste of West Africa with Sam and Tieyan

from jealous Mamma.

You guys all right? We're fine, thank you.

I'm getting hungry right now just looking!

We've got plantain, chicken. I'm feeling the vibe.

What are you cooking for us today? We're making you a burrito today.

One of our legendary burritos. Legendary. Very much so.

African burrito. Where did this idea come from?

Well, erm, it was me. Erm...

One day I was just sitting down, I like to conjure up things,

so I just put jollof rice, the beans, the plantain,

the salad. And we just tried it. And hey presto!

So, one day, you were just chilling, and you were like,

"You know what? Let me put some jollof rice in a burrito."

Yeah. Do you think I could have a try at wrapping one up later?

Yes, of course. Definitely.

Cool. It's smelling, smelling crazy. I'm not gonna lie.

That plantain just looking at me, like, telling me, "Yo..."

LAUGHTER Thank you, guys.

I'll be back here with Sam and Tieyan in a bit,

and we're gonna let Dizzee Rascal have a cheeky taste

of the first African burrito.

We're spoiling him, but what can I say? He's a legend.

Back to you guys! CHEERING

Thanks, Zuu. It's time for a quick break, but coming up,

we've got music and chat from Maisie Peters,

and another all-time classic V Festival performance.

We'll also have more from a certain cheeky little rascal. Don't go away.

CHEERING

Welcome back to Virgin Media's V Festival 2020.

We've got loads of music still to come,

including more from Dizzee Rascal,

and a very special performance from Snow Patrol.

But first, look who we found wandering around backstage.

It's singer, songwriter and all-round ridiculous talent,

it's Maisie Peters, everybody!

CHEERING There she is!

Maisie, welcome. How are you? I'm good, how are you?

I'm very well. Very excited to have you on the show.

And excited to see you perform.

You had a huge success, almost, basically,

starting when Feels Like This

was, like, a number one hit from being on Love Island.

Yeah, that was very exciting.

Was that weird watching people 'go to bed' to your song? Oh, yeah.

They're iconic moments, the bed scenes.

When everyone's paying close attention.

And the song's really saucy in the background.

And you're like, "l've never been so happy

"that someone's making out to my song," but kind of weird.

But I'll allow it, like... Yeah. No, it was, it was very cool.

Tell us about your new track, Sad Girl Summer.

I wrote it last summer,

which actually went on to be a great summer. Yeah.

But then we were looking at things to release, and obviously,

it's been lockdown, so trawling back through other things.

You know what? It's been quite sad. Unfortunately, someone tweeted,

"Maisie Peters manifested my saddest summer yet."

I'm really sorry, everyone. What are you doing next?

What's next on the cards?

V Festival, your first time here, performing.

I suppose you would had been at some festivals this year,

which is a bit of a bum, but... Well, I guess, obviously this.

And then I've just been making a lot of music, the past few months.

So, getting stuff ready to put out.

And then really just preparing for '20-'21. Mm.

Really gonna come out with more of a bang than 2020, let's just say.

OK. I think we're all in that position.

Yeah. We're all like, "Come on, 2021."

Yeah. It's gonna be the best year ever. Ever.

Expectations will be so high. Make up for this horrible year.

Maisie, you're about to perform for us. Go and get yourself ready...

Maisie Peters, everybody! CHEERING

She's earning a reputation

as one of the most gifted singer-songwriters around today,

and you're about to see why.

With her gorgeous new track, Sad Girl Summer,

it's the brilliant Maisie Peters!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# One of us was married

# To an ex-marine With a blonde down the block

# He said commitment's scary

# So he left her alone With a house and a dog

# So she ran to Daddy, and he said

# "That man's a loser Call your friends up"

# And we pulled a chair up

# Oh, oh, oh, oh

# Pass your phone to the right To the right

# Text an ex-love "goodbye"

# It's another sad girl summer

# Flowers on the side of the road

# Traveling beside each other

# No-one has to dance on their own No-oh

# So take my hand And lose his number

# You don't have to have another Sad girl summer

# Raise your glass Let it go

# One of us was messy

# She got dumped by He-who-won't-be-mentioned

# She's vodka Coke unsteady

# So we're secretly staging An intervention

# Change your shoes, get ready

# That boy is such a loser Put your hair up

# And we pulled a chair up

# Oh, oh, oh, oh!

# Pass your phone to the right To the right

# Text an ex-love "goodbye"

# It's another sad girl summer

# Flowers on the side of the road

# Traveling beside each other

# No-one has to dance on their own No-oh!

# So take my hand And lose his number

# You don't have to have another Sad girl summer

# Raise your glass, let it go

# Find your lip gloss, blow a kiss

# Forget the boy ever existed

# Find your lip gloss, blow a kiss

# Forget the boy ever existed

# And pass your phone to the right To the right

# Text an ex-love "goodbye"

# It's another sad girl summer

# Flowers on the side of the road

# Traveling beside each other

# No-one has to dance on their own No, no!

# So take my hand And lose his number

# You don't have to have another Sad girl summer

# Raise your glass, let it go. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

The incredible Maisie Peters performing exclusively for V 2020.

Incredible. Oh, that was a-Maisie-ing!

So good. She's like a little fairy. A-Maisie-ing. Amaz...

You keep doing that stuff. She didn't even get it.

No. Let's check in with our VIP guests, Jessie and Elton.

How you doing, QUYF»?

Hello!

You guys had 11 festivals lined up this summer, is that right?

Yeah, yeah, we go to a lot together. Yeah.

Yeah, basically spend every weekend in a tent, in a field.

Daniel and Raphael, would I find you in the middle of a circle somewhere

in the festival with a "Oi, oi!" every two seconds?

We mosh, but we don't get too physical. We need to keep clean.

A polite mosher! I love polite moshers, man.

Yeah, there's rules and regulations to this stuff. I love it, love it.

Thank you so much for joining us, guys. Been an absolute pleasure.

Give them a round of applause for sitting in their lounges.

It's time now for another iconic V Festival performance

from a genuine legend. Mm.

Taking us back in time with Back To Black from 2008,

this is Amy Winehouse. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# He left no time to regret

# Kept his dick wet

# With his same old safe bet

# Me and my head high

# And my tears dry

# I got on

# I got on without my guy

# You went back to what you knew

# So far removed

# From all that we went through

# And I tread a troubled track

# My odds are stacked

# I go back to black

# We only said goodbye with words

# I died a hundred times

# You go back to her

# And I go back to

# I go back to us

# Yeah, baby, I love you much

# Oh, baby, it's not enough

# You love blow, and I love puff

# Baby, and life

# Life is like a pipe

# And I'm a tiny penny

# Rollin' up the walls inside, yeah

# We only said goodbye with words

# I died a hundred times

# You go back to her And I go back to

# We only said goodbye with words

# I cried a hundred times

# You go back to her

# And I go back to

# Black

# Mmm, black

# Walking in the sand, yeah

# Mmm, the nights The nights were so exciting

# And your smile Your smile was so inviting

# Then, then he kissed my cheek

# With his fingertips

# Softly, we meet with our lips

# And I go back to

# I go back to

# We only said goodbye with words

# I died a hundred times

# You go back to her

# And I go back to

# We only said goodbye with words

# I died a hundred times

# You go back to her

# And I go back to black. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Absolutely iconic performance there from Amy Winehouse

on the V Festival Main Stage back in 2008.

She is just one of many superstars who have graced the festival

over the years, but you don't just see them on stage.

Sometimes, you'll find one wandering around the campsite

like an actual normal person.

Which begs the question - could you guess a pop star

purely by the contents of their tent?

Hm... Well, earlier, we decided to find this out.

This is Through The Tent Peg.

APPLAUSE

Welcome to Through The Tent Peg!

In each tent, there will be three clues to a hint

at the V Festival headliner who maybe stayed in that tent.

Simple as. OK, fine.

Are you ready to play? I'm ready.

Talk us through what you got in there.

Inside, first thing I get my eyes on is a plain black tee. Mmm!

V-neck. Er...

Hey, plain black tees are very in right now.

Could be anyone. OK. Could be me.

Could be my tent, Maya, couldn't it?

I found two major clues here.

One's Ron Weasley, and one is a gingersnap.

Oh, I'd eat both of those! Mmm!

And then we have the key clue.

The key clue is this teddy bear, and...

something that was just digging in my bum, then. Mm!

A guitar! A guitar digging in your bum.

Come on, then, Maya Jama, give us your guess.

My guess is, in fact, the most famous ginger I've ever met...

Ed Sheeran.

Ed Sheeran it is! Congratulations, Maya jama! Yeah!

Yeah! That was good.

Let's move on to tent number two. Zip it open.

OK... Go straight in.

In. And my first clue I've found...

HE GASPS ..is a bouquet...

A bou-quet! ..of flowers.

Not sure, though, because everyone loves flowers.

Everyone loves flowers.

A T-shirt... Oh, there we go. OK.

Oh, there is a book, yeah. There is! Ah!

Read out the book, please, Maya.

OK, this is really what's given me the clue.

Always Look On The BRIGHTSIDE. Mm!

It's The Killers.

It's The Killers! Of course it's The Killers! Yeah!

All right! Brandon Flowers, the lead singer.

Right, number three. jump on in!

First thing that catches my eye here...

A Guide To Throwing Shade. Mm! Sassy!

I wrote that. Not paying attention to these little things any more.

I feel like those aren't the clues.

They're throwing you off the scent.

Some Skittles! Ooh! No, sweets.

M&M'S... Oh... You think you're slick?

Mm-hm! Is it Eminem?

It is actually Eminem!

Congratulations, Maya. Yeah, I'm gonna give it to you.

You got three out of three, Maya. Thank you!

Well done. Smashed it.

Let's use this, erm...

Let's use this map to find our way back to the festival site, shall we?

You know, I'm actually gonna have a little nap.

I've got a break. Sweet!

I'll see you later. See you later on!

Welcome back to Virgin Media's V Festival 2020.

So we've got loads more music on the way and I am loving it.

I can't get enough of festival life, it's great.

Do you know who else can't get enough of festival life?

Who? I mean, is this a seamless segue into the next bit?

Yes, it is!

All weekend, we're connecting with people at home

with the help of witchcraft, AKA, technology.

We happen to know the couple who love festivals so much,

they planned one for their wedding.

Sam and Emma were all set to go with live music,

festival wristbands, the lot.

And then, 2020 went and happened. It happened.

Yeah, their big day got cancelled,

so we thought we'd share a bit of festivaljoy with them now.

Sam and Emma, hello! Hi!

So, you had a whole wedding planned, and then it couldn't happen.

Yeah, so we had a festival-themed wedding planned for May.

230 people, plus.

These are our invites. Oh, wow! Aw!

I also do know that you are super fans of a certain someone.

Yeah!

Dizzee Rascal. And he was gonna be a feature, wasn't he?

I wanted to what down the aisle to Fix Up, Look Sharp. Lovely.

And when the bit goes, "Oi!", Sam would turn around and see me.

LAUGHTER

What do you think Dizzee Rascal would have thought of it?

I did actually message Dizzee and ask him to perform.

Did you? And did he reply?

No. No?

Someone's actually sat with us right now. Dizzee Rascal is here.

Right here!

She's shaking. You're shaking.

Is there anything you want to say to Dizzee right now, while he's here?

We love you. I love you!

Well, I mean, he can't be at your actual wedding,

and obviously it's been postponed and stuff, so maybe we can do just,

like, a pretend little, "You may now kiss the bride",

in front of Dizzee Rascal. And...

There we go! Lovely. APPLAUSE

That is cute. Wonderful stuff.

You can do the "Oi" and then they can do it.

D0 it!

LAUGHTER

Fix up, look sharp!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So nice. She's crying, she's absolutely crying. Wonderful stuff.

Thank you so much to Dizzee and a huge thank you to Emma and Sam.

Give them a round of applause, everybody!

Well, Dizzee has just made Sam and Emma's day,

and I think a Big Zuu might be about to make Dizzee's day too.

How are you getting on, Zuu?

Hey, guys, I'm still here, cooking up, West African style.

They're making their speciality. The first African burrito.

And to try it with me, we have the wonderful Dizzee Rascal here.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Us grime boys, gotta stick together, gotta stick together. Yes, sir.

You're gonna teach me how to wrap this, yeah? I am, yes.

I'm kind of a burrito man, so I think I've got some XP.

What do I do, grab it from the side, yeah?

Yeah, so you want to pull the sides together. Yeah.

And then flip the back to the front. Ah.

And then just start wrapping it in. Rolling. Yeah. Yeah?

Yes. Now move it back. Yeah.

Get your foil so you can hold it all in place. Yeah.

And then just roll.

Then tuck underneath and twist the top.

Come on! Come on, man! Yeah!

Well done! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Burrito man! OK, we've all got a burrito.

You ready to tuck in?

All right, let's open it up. Let me open it up. You ready, Dizzee?

The first-ever African burrito. All right, let's go in.

It's beautiful. What do you think of it, Dizzee? I love it.

Loving it, yeah? I wanna finish it. Thank you, guys.

We're gonna stay here with Dizzee and get our burrito on,

massive thanks to these guys. Back to you guys.

That looks delicious. Thank you for that, Zuu.

Mmm, nom, nom, nom!

Let's have another classic performance now from the archives.

It's a man who somehow takes to the stage both confidently and gingerly.

This is Ed Sheeran.

# I'm gonna pick up the pieces And build a Lego house

# And if things go wrong We can knock it down

# My three words have two meanings But there's one thing on my mind

# It's all for you Mm-hm

# And it's dark in a cold December But I've got you to keep me warm

# And if you're broken I will mend you

# And keep you sheltered From the storm that's raging on now

# I'm out of touch, I'm out of love

# I'll pick you up When you're getting down

# And out of all These things I've done

# I think I love you better now

# I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind I'll do it all for you in time

# And out of all These things I've done

# I think I love you better now

# Oh, oh

# I'm gonna paint you By numbers and colour you in

# And if things go right We can frame it

# And put you on a wall

# And it's so hard to say it But I've been here before

# Now, I'll surrender up my heart And swap it for yours

# Now, I'm out of touch I'm out of love

# I'll pick you up When you're getting down

# And out of all These things I've done

# I think I love you better now

# I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind I'll do it all for you in time

# And out of all These things I've done

# I think I love you better now

# Don't hold me down

# I think the braces are breaking And it's more than I can take

# And it's dark in a cold December But I've got you to keep me warm

# If you're broken, I will mend you

# And keep you sheltered from The storm that's raging on now... #

Who knows the words to this last bit?

Sing it as loud as you can! Scream it out!

Sing it out!

# I'm out of touch, I'm out of love

# I'll pick you up When you're getting down

# And out of all These things I've done

# I think I love you better now

# I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind I'll do it for you in time

# And out of all These things I've done

# I think I love you better now

# I'm out of touch, I'm out of love

# I'll pick you up When you're getting down

# And out of all These things I've done

# I think I love you better now

# I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind I'll do it all for you in time

# And out of all These things I've done

# I think I love you better now

# I'm out of touch, I'm out of love

# I'll pick you up When you're getting down

# And out of all These things I've done

# I will love you better now. #

That was Ed Sheeran on the V Festival main stage back in 2012.

We have got loads of great music still to come,

but first, does anyone fancy a burger?

Cos I think we might have some beef.

I honestly don't know how we've done this,

but we've somehow convinced Maya to go head-to-head in a rap battle

against our very own resident grime MC Big Zuu.

Have you got any words of advice for Maya?

Don't look at me in the eyes. Oh! OK.

OK, for my own safety, guys, I am stepping out.

Kids, play nicely.

Let's go.

# Yeah

# Yo, Maya You need to retire

# Your bars are not fire And you're a liar

# God loves a trier

# But I can't lie, you're expired

CROWD: Ooh!

# Ey, Maya, we're friends

# But this is where your rap career Starts and ends

# Right now you look like a cloud

# Fam, I wouldn't be proud. #

Yes!

OK, OK!

OK, Big Zuu, everybody, give him a round of applause, that's Big Zuu.

CHEERING That was all right.

I am a cloud!

Bringing the heat, Maya Jama, step it up, let's go!

All right.

Obviously, this isn't my job, but I can rhyme.

# Yeah, look

# Big Zuu

# You look like a big poo

# With that hair I would be screwin' too

# With your long black shoe

# You're nothing Without your big crew

# Yeah

# Come round to V Fest

# Better mind 'fore You get your face bench-pressed

0h!

# Maya jama inside

# Don't worry 'bout me Cos I try, try

# Yeah. # Yeah!

YQS, Maya!

CHEERING Maya, oh, my Lord!

That was actually a freestyle as well. Genuine.

That was pure heat. Well done. Thanks.

We're gonna do a round of applause to see who's the winner,

so everybody here, give a round of applause

if you thought Big Zuu was the winner.

Round of applause for Big Zuu.

APPLAUSE

That's a decent amount of applause, Big Zuu.

Love him, and give a round of applause for Maya jama.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh, no! Oh, no!

Maya's the winner! Congratulations. I'm sorry, Zuu.

Thank you. It's not fair.

Time for a quick break, but still to come,

we've got music from Snow Patrol,

and fresh from that rap battle with Maya,

Big Zuu will be exposing himself. What?

I'm sorry, Big Zuu will be exposing himself to the elements,

as we send him camping. Back in a few, people!

CHEERING

Welcome back to Virgin Media's V Festival 2020.

Still to come, we've got more from Dizzee Rascal

and a smorgasbord of classic V Festival performances.

But first, it's tonight's instalment of our gripping serial,

as we follow one man's epic voyage of discovery.

Yeah. In a year when we've all been experiencing new things,

Big Zuu is no exception.

While he's performed at festivals before,

this is the first time he's ever actually been to one as a fan.

So, we thought we'd give him some learning.

Today, he's erecting his first tent. What could possibly go right?!

Best Uber driver ever.

Big Joel ready to roll.

Look at this beautiful forest clearing.

I dread to think the things that have happened in this space

during V Festival.

Now, I've heard that you're not much of a camper.

I've never, ever gone camping in my life.

Now, I've got some great stuff in front of you.

You've got a foot pump, a tent, a sleeping bag,

a blow-up bed. You've got to put these things together.

Oh, bruv. I'm gonna give you a bit of festival weather.

My biggest fan. HE LAUGHS

Bit of rain, bit of wind...

Make sure you don't get my hair wet. Go for it, come on, Zuu!

What I'm doing here is clearing the area.

I don't want sticks in my batty. No, no.

What have you got? Looks like a bin bag, bro.

I don't know which way is which, bruv.

That's at the bottom, innit? Oh...

What's this, the sticks? They'll be criss-crossing over the middle.

This is making me look dumb. I'm not dumb.

Cool, so...

Through this bit and then that bit.

Thread it through, that's lovely.

It didn't even come with a guide, bruv.

The English weather's coming in. How's that?

It's all right, it's all right.

Refreshing? Yeah, refreshing.

You look like a L'Oreal advert.

Put it in the pin. Pin in the hole.

That is first part of tent. Ha-ha!

Yeah, yeah, yeah! I see some clouds.

I see some clouds. I would just stop now, get a hotel, bruv.

Keep going, Zuu, you're doing so good.

Why do people go to festivals, bruv?

I don't know! Bro, you want me to pump up this double bed?

Doesn't look like it's going up.

I do have incredible calves, though. You absolutely do.

Only muscles I have. Do a rap whilst I do it.

RAPS: Yo, I'm chillin' with Joel, we're out on a roll.

Yes, please!

Think we're done! That's the best I could do.

Jump on in. How does it feel in there?

Obviously there's not a Smart TV.

Get your phone out, watch the ITV Hub?

I'm taking a nap, see you later, man.

Gonna test it, make sure it's weather-proof.

A drunk person walks past, trips on your guide ropes.

Eughg

That's sleeping at a festival, man. Completed.

See you later, bro! Love ya.

What is he like? A lovely man.

We'd like to take you back now to the summer of 2009,

a long-forgotten time when Billie Eilish was seven,

TikTok was something an alarm clock did,

and Noel and Liam Gallagher

were still, just about, on speaking terms.

Just about. But that all changed

after Oasis played the Staffordshire leg of V Festival.

The brothers had a huge falling-out after the show,

cancelled their headline set at the second leg here in Chelmsford,

and never played together again.

Those two. Always got beef with someone.

Remember when they had the feud with that band?

Who was it, again? I can't remember.

The '90s were such a... blur!

God, yeah.

Anyway, luckily, Snow Patrol were on hand as replacement headliners.

And here they are now, from that year,

with their very own tribute to Oasis.

A blur, guys. Literally, nobody laughed at that.

# Today is gonna be the day that They're gonna throw it back to you

# By now, you should've somehow Realised what you gotta do

# I don't believe that anybody

# Feels the way I do about you now

# Backbeat The word is on the street

# That the fire in your heart is out

# I'm sure You've heard it all before

# But you never really had a doubt

# I don't believe that anybody

# Feels the way I do about you now

# And all the roads We have to walk are winding

# And all the lights That lead us there are blinding

# There are many things That I would like to say to you

# But I don't know how

# Because maybe

# You're gonna be the one That saves me

# And after all

# You're my wonderwall

# Today was gonna be the day

# But they'll never Throw it back to you

# By now, you should've somehow Realised what you're not to do

# I don't believe that anybody

# Feels the way I do about you now

# And all the roads That lead the way are winding

# And all the lights That light the way are blinding

# And there are many things That I would like to say to you

# But I don't know how

# I said maybe

# You're gonna be the one That saves me

# And after all

# You're my wonderwall

# I said maybe

# You're gonna be the one That saves me

# And after all

# You're my wonderwall. #

CHEERING

WQW!

That was Snow Patrol having a massive Oasis singalong

back in 2009. Yeah, I mean, who doesn't love an oasis singalong?

Noel and Liam, apparently. Yeah, right.

I don't know about you, but I fancy a little catch-up

with our virtual VIPs. Shall we see what's happening with them?

Let's do it. Hello!

Charlie and Kishan, how are you? Yeah, we're good.

Whoo!

Now, guys, we know you've been working tirelessly

on the front line, but I hear you've been swapping your scrubs

for the DJ decks, is that right?

I don't think there's many of those, ever. Doctor Djs.

Doctor DJ. I like it a lot.

Thank you so much for being on the show, you all look wonderful.

Thank you, guys! Thank you, guys, so much for joining us!

So, we've just got time for one last performance

from a man who's been with us all night.

With his brand-new single, it's the brilliant Dizzee Rascal!

CHEERING

Yo, V Festival 2020.

This one's Love Life Live Large

Big up! Let's go, come on!

# Love life live large

# Work smart play hard

# Love life live large

# Stay ready take charge

# Slap yourself I'm so ahead I might lap myself

# I'm so high I could never come down

# If I did come down I'd catch myself

# I don't need gang I'll back myself

# Dippin' and whippin' in black I'm stealth

# Fly off the handle Fly off the shelf

# Bury myself with stacks and wealth

# If I die now It's the cards I'm dealt

# I'm $0 G, R-l-P, Rest In P's ls what it would've spelt

# So much P I don't tighten my belt I just buy a new belt

# I don't need no help # Could've just whelped and knelt on

# The floor all the pain I felt

# But I just felt Butter wouldn't melt

# Love life live large

# Work smart play hard

# Love life live large Oi, oi!

# Stay ready take charge

# I'm a lot of things But I'm not sorry

# I'm a lot of things But I'm not a wally

# These man are wet Like they got no brolly

# Pop my collar but I don't Pop pills or swallow no Molly

# I buried the collie, done all The folly I fill up my trolly

# Feed off the fat of the land Jolly

# Follow the money Like it is a hobby

# Stand and look over the money like I am securing the lobby

# Money ain't everything

# But when I try to remember what everything is

# It gets foggy I do not sob And my pillow will never be soggy

# I work on my soul and my body

# When I was young I was gobby And ducking the bobbies

# Love life live large

# Work smart play hard

# Love life live large

# Stay ready take charge. #

CHEERING

That is it for tonight.

A massive thank you to Dizzee Rascal,

Maisie Peters, Big Zuu, and all of our virtual VIP guests.

If you're loving festival life,

you can find plenty more classic V Festival performances

on the ITV Hub and STV Player right now.

We'll be back tomorrow with loads more great music,

including performances from Anne-Marie and DoneL

And in the meantime, we'll be spending the night

doing things we may or may not remember doing in the morning.

Thanks for watching at home. We'll see you back here tomorrow.

Until then, goodbye!

CHEERING

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