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Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org

Oh, good morning, brother.

How ya doing?

Good to meet ya, brother.

Whoa, whoa, no, it's all good, brother,

it's all good, brother, it's all... Brother!

Stop, brother.

Hey!

I'm sorry, man.

I wasn't trying to spook ya.

I'm just your neighbour, brother.

I'm your neighbour. Yeah.

I've been seeing ya comin' in and out of your apartment

lookin' a little bit...

panicked

and I thought that I would come by,

to see if maybe you wanted a little bit of company,

a little bit of grub.

That's it.

Wha... Buddy.

This is what I'm here for man.

Yeah. Yeah.

That's it.

Ya know.

I got a key to this place 'cuz the guys that used to live here,

gave me a key, man.

So I thought... I mean, I rang the bell.

I thought you were snoozing.

I'm sorry, man.

Look, it's gonna be a pretty good meal, brother.

I got all kinds of stuff, yeah.

Look at that.

I kinda got it all, man.

It's fantastic. It's gonna be a feast.

I don't want to push it on you, though, man.

You want me to get outta here, no skin off my back.

Say the word, I'm out of here.

Your call.

Got tupperware? Your call.

It's kinda funny

'cuz I've been seeing you around the neighbourhood, right.

Like not, ya know, not watching ya,

but I've been seeing ya around.

And just kinda thinkin', man, I don't know what it is,

but somethin' about you, man.

I just thought...

that guy right there would love a good meal.

Have a feelin' I'm right about that

and yeah, so don't be shy, brother.

All, all I can really ask is that ya,

dig the fuck in and enjoy.

Ya know.

This is gonna be good.

Mm.

Mm.

It's good.

Mm.

Hey, ah...

Hey, man.

You want some of this?

Should have offered, man.

Yeah, it's all yours, man. Help yourself.

There ya go, brother.

Oh, yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah, it's good.

So let me tell ya a little bit about myself, man.

Basically, um, my situation is pretty funny.

Um, so I got this, ah, great uncle...

Dude.

Oh, my God, dude, you're so fucking high, dude.

Yup, man. Yeah.

Yeah, brother!

Yeah, that's the good stuff, brother.

Oh, my God.

Dude, dude, dude, you gotta try the food.

You gotta try the food, man.

Dude, the food, man, you gotta try the food.

Dude, you gotta try the food.

It's gonna blow your fucking brains out.

Seriously, man, eat, eat.

Mm.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's so good.

Yeah, man. Go, go, go.

Holy shit, man.

What's your name man?

- Tito. - Tito?

Dude, Tito?

That's the most beautiful name I've heard in a long time, man.

Seriously, that's so sick.

Tito.

Shit.

You got a roommate kicking around here?

What's the deal there? Dope.

Girl kickin' around? What's the situation there?

No? Nice, that's great.

Bachelor living is good, man.

It's good, just chillin' with the wolf pack

kind of situation.

Late nights, ya know, feelin', feelin' life as it is.

Okay? No?

Fair enough, man.

Yeah, it's good staying in sometimes.

You got any friends, man?

Oh, brother, brother. Hey, hey.

Brother, hey.

Man.

It's the summer, brother.

You gotta be hanging out with people

if you wanna be hangin' out with people.

Seriously, I'll hang out, man.

I'll be your friend.

Dude, you got me gigglin'. I'll be your friend, man.

Yeah, man.

You want to hang out today?

I'm serious. Yeah.

You wanna go to the park?

Lay in the grass, just give it a try?

Dude, I'm so serious. I would love that, man.

You want to?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Hallelujah, man.

It's my favourite place ever, man.

I've brought one or two girls in here before,

I've never brought a friend.

I thought you would like this.

Seeing the way you loved just eating that food,

I thought like, okay, this is kind of a guy who likes,

I don't know, just salt of the earth kind of thing.

Yeah.

Special place, man.

You can eat a lot of this stuff too, eh?

Some of it's poison but

wouldn't kill ya.

And a lot of it's just yummy.

Some raspberries kicking around somewhere.

These, man, you can't eat 'em, but

I could smell these things for, like,

heh,

20 hours at a time, man.

I tried to smoke one of these fuckin' things once.

Give it a whiff dude.

Yeah, come on.

Yeah.

Kinda jumpy, eh?

A few of those kicking around.

Get a little freaked?

It's all good, man.

You always been kind of a jumpy dude, or...

Um...

I used to be kinda jumpy, man.

Yeah.

You ever learn any self defence or anything like that?

No man, no.

You should, man.

Really. Feel a lot safer.

I used to be jumpy, walk around.

Some freaks out there.

Gotta know how to protect yourself.

Makes you feel way better.

It's like anybody tries to come after you, man,

just give 'em the ol'...

I can teach you.

...by making the saucer invisible.

And though the lady shows great interest in me,

I decided to make myself invisible, too.

Space explorer!

I can't tell you how happy I am...

Feel free to go to bed, man.

You're gonna sleep like a baby.

It's been a good day.

Do you mind if I just stay and finish the movie?

Oh...

Yeah, man, no problemo.

Thanks, dude. I'll lock up when I'm done.

He has, of course,

developed the high explosive charge

Mm, thanks for the...

Thanks for the day.

My pleasure, man.

...and, of course, there was always the problem

of friction.

I got your back.

- 'Night. - 'Night.

And causing all sorts of trouble.

Ahh!

Ah, yeah.

Must have fallen alseep on the couch, man.

Didn't mean to freak you out in the morning.

Aw...

No problem, man.

Thanks.

Appreciate it.

Hm.

Want some cereal?

So kind of you, dude.

Thanks a lot, man.

Mm.

Oh, yeah.

Fuck! There's an ant. Fuckin' shit.

Ant.

Fuckin' ant.

Fucking shit!

That thing was huge, dude.

You got fucking steroids growing back here, man?

Holy fuck, dude.

Here you want some of that, man.

Here, take it, take it. It's good.

I'm sorry, dude.

That shit brings out the worst in me, man.

I threw a fucking fit. I was like...

waa, waa!

You know what I mean?

Like, those things are fucking freaky as shit.

Like, who is upstairs cooking up those little fuckers,

ya know what I mean, man.

Yeah, yeah, brother. Holy fuck.

Oh, my God.

Can I have a little more of that, brother? Huh...

Oh, my... Good mornin', man.

Yeah.

Here.

What's going on today, young man?

Whadda ya got cooking?

But I just don't have a type, I think is what it is.

Like, guys talk about having a type like,

it's a, it's a kind of car they like, right?

And I just don't, I don't like a kind of car man,

like, I just like to drive, you know what I mean?

It's like my type is just girls, right?

It's like clear as day to me, man.

Like, why limit yourself.

That's not to say that I don't have a preference,

like, everybody has a preference, right?

Just, I kind of like girls that have kinda nice eyes.

Yeah, but that's a preference, not a type,

like, that's not to say that I can't bend my kind of,

my kind of interest at one point or another.

And people with a type, that's just a,

that's such a hard rule.

But it's too firm a boundary for me, man.

But that's one thing that I think you really have

going for youself, man, is that you're the kind of guy,

I think, that's just kind of down for any kind of person.

You know?

I met you like a day or two ago, man, and we're already...

you just let me in, like, 'cuz you saw,

like, okay, this is a kind of guy I'm down to hang out with,

so let's give it a try and I love that about you, man.

Like, you just seen like a kinda cool, open guy, right?

When I say love, Tito, I gotta say I really mean

love man, like, if anything...

...come down to you, brother.

Heh, I got some serious

fucking power for you, bro.

Like I got your back, I mean it when I say it, man.

You know.

I hope, I hope it never happens, man,

'cuz something's gonna kick in in me and I'm not going to be

responsible for it, like.

I'd be standing in front of the judge sayin'...

Wasn't me, man. Came over me, like...

It's just the way I am, and you...

Yo, Tito, man.

Easy on the fuckin' weed, dude. You're like,

can you pass the J, man?

You're food's in front of your face, getting cold, man.

Kinda some weird vibes coming from that corner, dude.

Enjoy your food, man.

It's good.

Yeah.

Can you pass me the syrup, buddy?

Buddy? Could you pass me the syrup?

Can you pass me the syrup, man?

Dude, just pass me the syrup, man.

Thanks.

Mm.

Angel-glittered slut-slut-slut-slut.

Uh. Let me be your bitch,

I want to be your bitch right now

Uh, uh, uh...

Let me be your bitch.

I want to be your bitch right now

Uh, uh, uh...

Tell me what you want to do to me

And I will do it for you

Why don't you go to bed, man?

Ooh.

You can have this body

You can have this body

Dude?

You can have this body;

You can have my...

Good morning, man.

Here.

Hey.

Thanks.

Ooh.

Fucked up dream, dude.

So, uh,

I gotta work today, man, so

you better take off.

I gotta work today, so...

Work?

Yeah, so you, you...

You gotta go, man.

Where do you work, man?

Uh, I work,

I work, um,

I like, I, I kinda work from home.

What are you talking about, dude?

Um...

Uh...

You gotta go man.

You serious, dude?

Are you serious?

You're kicking me out right now, man.

Dude.

It's fucking 6 o'clock in the morning, man.

You're kicking me out right now?

I gotta work.

It's the middle of the summer, dude.

You're fucking kicking me out right now?

What the fuck is the matter with you, dude.

No fucking way, man.

You gotta chill the fuck out, man.

Tito, you have to chill the fuck out.

You have to work?

Do you see how uptight you have to be,

to be waking me up at fucking 6 o'clock in the morning?

Get up, man.

You gotta go, I gotta go to work, dude.

What the fuck?

Check in with yourself right now.

You're so wound up.

Before we can have this conversation,

take a deep breath, Tito,

are you fucking kidding me, brother, chill out.

Take a deep breath.

Tito, slow your breathing, brother.

Tito.

Tito. Brother.

Come on.

Tito, man.

Tito, Tito, Tito.

Deep breath.

Ahhhh. Dude.

Dude, deep breath in.

Good, good, good, good, good, good,

deep breath.

One more, man.

Here you go, here you go, here you go, here you go.

Dude. Dude.

You gotta make me

some fucking breakfast or something, dude.

He was vegetarian because he was being pressured

by, like, these fuckers on the street.

- They were just screaming... - bad, it's so bad

it's so bad, it's so bad, da, da, da, da.

How the fuck are we ever gonna survive...

...it's so dumb

that we end up getting

all distracted by this bullshit.

Tube, like you gotta look at the big fucking tube

that's at the very start of all that shit,

you know, like get down to the fucking raw source

tube of it.

Which is like, fuck, I mean,

I am no fucking export but I think it's obvious,

like it's the fucking schools is the problem.

Fucking elementary school.

It's like why the fuck would we learn that stuff?

I didn't... I've never fucking used

any of that bullshit.

Such a waste of time.

Like, they actually take a-a kid's fucking time

and they just waste it.

Like, now what do you end up with?

Just a fucking civilization of fucking morons.

It's like...

heads bumping into each other,

like nobody knows what the fuck is going on.

Winter's coming dude, like, I really believe that.

Like the fucking winter, is fucking coming.

And that's just like oh, fucking great.

Good for you guys then, for doing this shit.

Yeah. It's fucking sticky, dude.

Sticky as shit, man.

Dude.

You got a computer, right?

Get that shit.

It feels so good.

It's going to make me...

You're going to make me...

Oh, no.

Oh, God, oh, oh...

Tito, I'm in the kitchen, man.

Come here.

Tito!

Tito. Come on, buddy.

Come on, buddy. Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Tito, man.

We gotta go out.

- Out? - Yeah, man.

We're gonna go and get some fuckin' pussy, dude.

- Pussy? - Yeah, man.

We're gonna go out and get some fuckin' pussy, dude.

We're gonna stand here like fuckin' idiots, man.

We gotta go out and get some fuckin' pussy.

We got to go to a club or something, dude.

Bitches are crawling all over those places.

Tito,

you and me, brother.

We're going to go out tonight and get so much fuckin' pussy,

your head's gonna blow off.

Pussy?

Yeah, man, some fuckin' pussy!

Pussy?

Dude, whoa, dude.

Have you ever had pussy, dude?

Tito, you never had fucking pussy?

That's fucking inhumane, man.

We're gonna go out tonight

and get you some fuckin' wild, wet,

young,

tight fuckin' pussy, man.

You know where we're gonna get it?

I've been carrying this shit around for a fuckin' week.

Check it out.

Girls drink for free.

Isn't that fuckin' awesome?

Let's fuckin' go.

No. No.

Tito, what?

What are you fuckin' talking about, dude?

I can't go alone, man.

I'll look like a fucking idiot.

Tito this is what friendship is all about, man.

I want to get some fuckin' pussy tonight, dude.

So you're gonna come with me, man.

Dude.

I can fuckin' smell it from here, brother.

Use your fuckin' nose, man.

Fuckin' smell that shit.

It's a fuckin' pussy hunt tonight, dude.

Seriously, pussy hunt, man.

Fuckin' pussy hunt, brother.

The fuckin' pussy hunt, man.

Pussy hunt, dude.

Pussy huntin', brother.

Pussy hunt, yeah.

Pussy huntin'-huntin'. Pussy huntin'. Pussy huntin'.

Pussy huntin'. Pussy huntin'. Pussy huntin'.

No.

Tito.

Dude, what the...?

Tito.

I'm going out tonight

to get some fuckin' pussy

and you're

coming

with me,

dude.

Because that's what friends are for.

All right?

Dude. Dude.

Do you have anything I can wear?

No, dude.

Black dude.

Emotional, man.

Oh, shit, what is this?

Oh, man. Holy shit.

Dude. Fit!

These are perfect, dude.

Bitches will think we're in a band

and we're rich fucks or something.

This one's yours and this one's mine.

Shit, no.

This one's yours and this one's mine, okay?

Put that on and we leave in 10 minutes, all right?

Tito, man. Tito.

Tito, man, let me in, bro.

Tito.

Put this on, man, this is the shit.

Put that on, put that on. Tito.

Ready to hunt?

Hey, hey! Sour pussy for me and my buddy.

Pussy!

Hey, yo, yo.

Me and my buddy want the bottle.

We want the bottle.

Keep the change, man.

Keep the change, brother.

Shots!

Free shots, dude.

We got sour pussy in the house.

Sour pussy.

We're gonna get fuckin' blitzed tonight.

Got three star pussy tonight.

Me and my buddy we're going all night long.

We're going all out tonight.

You guys want some of this? Sour pussy man, free shots.

You want some of that?

Yow!

We're, ah, in a band with my buddy

so we're just like, kind of, um,

Yeah, it's kind of good just to come in and see the city,

you know.

Just like, just like, ya wanna get the audience to party,

you know what I mean?

'Cuz everybody parties differently, like in every city.

That's something that a lot of people don't know.

This is my buddy, he's the bassist in a...

he's kind of a...

he's like a kind of a weird guy socially, right,

but when he's on stage, then he can kind of like that,

rip, right, kinda go a little hard

when we're on tour, type of thing.

Yeah, so I got a bottle, right,

and I'm not gonna let him have any more

'cuz he obviously does not need any.

You wanna do some?

I'm gonna have a shot, you can have a shot.

I'm just kinda down to kinda splurge tonight, like, kinda...

What the fuck is the matter with... Dude.

Fuckin' had that girl. What's up, man?

Tito, dude. What the...?

I'm gonna go to the bathroom, buddy.

Back in a minute, all right?

Dude, dude. It's all good.

You all right, dude?

Back in a minute, all right. Just fuckin' chill.

Talk to the girl, man.

Tito. Don't do it, brother.

Talk to a girl, man.

It's what you do in a bar.

Chill, okay?

Sit down if you need to.

Tito.

Fuckin' done with you, bro.

Can I have a drink, please.

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