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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:02,830 >> Hey, guys. 2 00:00:02,833 --> 00:00:04,203 I'm Ed Bassmaster and you may 3 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:05,530 have seen me on YouTube. 4 00:00:05,533 --> 00:00:06,803 The looney wheels. 5 00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:07,670 And that is me. 6 00:00:07,667 --> 00:00:08,667 >> What are you talking about? 7 00:00:08,667 --> 00:00:09,827 >> I'm a bush! 8 00:00:09,833 --> 00:00:10,903 That's me, too. 9 00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:11,800 The crawfish here is amazing. 10 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:12,700 >> Yeah. 11 00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:13,530 >> I just ordered it. 12 00:00:13,533 --> 00:00:14,273 When I see a car like this, 13 00:00:14,267 --> 00:00:15,567 thing I do is I say, 14 00:00:15,567 --> 00:00:16,697 "Would you look at this?" 15 00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:18,270 Yeah, all of those guys are me. 16 00:00:18,267 --> 00:00:19,267 >> Ed Bassmaster. 17 00:00:19,267 --> 00:00:20,127 >> You're my favorite! 18 00:00:20,167 --> 00:00:21,427 >> I have almost a billion views 19 00:00:21,433 --> 00:00:22,803 on the internet and now I'm 20 00:00:22,833 --> 00:00:23,973 going to take what I do 21 00:00:23,967 --> 00:00:25,027 to television. 22 00:00:25,033 --> 00:00:27,073 >> Shut up! 23 00:00:27,067 --> 00:00:27,727 >> This is 24 00:00:27,733 --> 00:00:30,873 "The Ed Bassmaster Show." 25 00:00:30,867 --> 00:00:33,797 * 26 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:34,470 My name is Keith, 27 00:00:34,467 --> 00:00:35,127 the sign spinner. 28 00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:35,803 I'm out here at 29 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:36,970 Shurbrite Car Wash. 30 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,670 Jim's my new boss that's gonna 31 00:00:39,667 --> 00:00:41,397 try to hire somebody to fire me, 32 00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:46,003 but it's not gonna work. 33 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:46,930 >> Jacob? 34 00:00:46,933 --> 00:00:47,633 Hey, come on in. 35 00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:48,303 >> Hey. 36 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:48,970 >> Dustin? 37 00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:49,667 Hey. 38 00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:50,467 Nice to meet you. 39 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:51,397 You're interested in possibly 40 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:52,070 training to be 41 00:00:52,067 --> 00:00:52,727 an assistant manager? 42 00:00:52,733 --> 00:00:53,403 Is that correct? 43 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:54,070 >> Yes, sir. 44 00:00:54,067 --> 00:00:54,827 >> We have a huge sale going on. 45 00:00:54,833 --> 00:00:55,533 I don't know if you noticed 46 00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:56,073 the guy out front. 47 00:00:56,067 --> 00:00:57,127 >> I did. 48 00:00:57,133 --> 00:00:58,103 >> We've had a little difficulty 49 00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,030 with him. 50 00:00:59,033 --> 00:01:00,233 He thinks he's an artist. 51 00:01:00,233 --> 00:01:02,403 This is not performance art. 52 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:03,830 This is not a dance recital. 53 00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:04,503 >> This is a job. 54 00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:06,170 >> This is a job, exactly. 55 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:07,897 We have a certain procedure 56 00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:09,070 that's been set up. 57 00:01:09,067 --> 00:01:10,867 I need you to help convince him 58 00:01:10,867 --> 00:01:11,927 to do what he needs to do, 59 00:01:11,933 --> 00:01:12,803 'cause it's our car wash, 60 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:13,470 it's important. 61 00:01:13,467 --> 00:01:14,397 It's very simple. 62 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:15,100 It's just three turns 63 00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:16,130 to the left, 64 00:01:16,133 --> 00:01:17,503 three to the right. 65 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:18,300 You see what he is doing? 66 00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:19,700 He's not doing that, all right? 67 00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:20,600 I don't want to let him go. 68 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:21,270 >> Okay. 69 00:01:21,267 --> 00:01:21,927 >> Okay? 70 00:01:21,933 --> 00:01:22,873 But if he doesn't do what he 71 00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:23,667 does need to do, I'm gonna have 72 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:24,297 to let him go. 73 00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:25,070 >> Okay. 74 00:01:25,067 --> 00:01:26,167 >> Hey, man. 75 00:01:26,167 --> 00:01:27,067 I actually just got hired out 76 00:01:27,067 --> 00:01:30,127 here and Jim was just telling me 77 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:32,433 to stick with the... 78 00:01:32,433 --> 00:01:33,633 >> Have you learned the routine? 79 00:01:33,633 --> 00:01:34,373 >> Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 80 00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:35,067 Check it out, check it out. 81 00:01:35,067 --> 00:01:35,797 >> Okay, can you show me? 82 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,370 >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. 83 00:01:37,367 --> 00:01:41,267 >> One, two, three. 84 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:42,627 I'm supposed to stay 85 00:01:42,633 --> 00:01:44,073 with protocol, 86 00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:45,567 but my thing is, like, 87 00:01:45,567 --> 00:01:46,697 I got my own thing going. 88 00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,200 I put a little twist on it, 89 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:53,430 so check it out. 90 00:01:53,433 --> 00:01:54,973 That is so lame. 91 00:01:54,967 --> 00:01:56,567 >> I know, and then they want us 92 00:01:56,567 --> 00:01:58,127 to do a really big lunge. 93 00:01:58,133 --> 00:01:59,803 >> Yeah, I know, lunge. 94 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:00,800 >> Like, a lunge, yeah. 95 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,430 >> Oh, yeah, that's exciting. 96 00:02:02,433 --> 00:02:03,533 All right, I'll do it. 97 00:02:03,533 --> 00:02:05,403 >> Thank you so much. 98 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,830 >> Three to the left. 99 00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:09,833 One, two, three. 100 00:02:09,833 --> 00:02:10,833 >> Yes. 101 00:02:10,833 --> 00:02:11,673 >> Three to the right, 102 00:02:11,667 --> 00:02:13,127 through three. 103 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:13,933 >> Good. 104 00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:15,533 >> Big lunge. 105 00:02:15,533 --> 00:02:16,473 Then kick it yo, dog, 106 00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:17,567 check it out, yo! 107 00:02:17,567 --> 00:02:18,327 Uhh! 108 00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:19,603 Check it out, check it out, 109 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:20,600 yo, uhh! 110 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:21,300 Yeah! 111 00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:23,370 I got 389 moves and this guy 112 00:02:23,367 --> 00:02:24,567 wants me to show two of them. 113 00:02:24,567 --> 00:02:25,227 You got-- 114 00:02:25,233 --> 00:02:25,903 Come on, admit it. 115 00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:28,570 It's lame, right? 116 00:02:28,567 --> 00:02:29,397 >> It's a little lame. 117 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,100 >> Okay, it just don't make 118 00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:30,970 no sense. 119 00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:31,827 >> Okay, okay, I will 120 00:02:31,833 --> 00:02:32,673 communicate that. 121 00:02:32,667 --> 00:02:34,297 >> Thank you, thank you. 122 00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:37,670 >> What did he say? 123 00:02:37,667 --> 00:02:38,967 >> Turn down for what? 124 00:02:38,967 --> 00:02:40,327 >> Tell you what. 125 00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:41,073 We have one of those 126 00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:41,797 windsock guys. 127 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,130 You know what I'm talking about? 128 00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:44,403 Take it out there, all right? 129 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,070 Let's see if that gets 130 00:02:45,067 --> 00:02:46,127 his attention. 131 00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,203 >> Coming off like that! 132 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,400 What is that? 133 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:50,070 >> That's one of those 134 00:02:50,067 --> 00:02:51,467 wacky, waving... 135 00:02:51,467 --> 00:02:52,797 >> You trying to replace me? 136 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,830 Yo! 137 00:02:55,833 --> 00:02:56,503 What's up, dog? 138 00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:57,500 What you got? 139 00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:58,270 What you got? 140 00:02:58,267 --> 00:03:04,627 Wanna dance? 141 00:03:04,633 --> 00:03:05,403 >> I need you to use the sign... 142 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:05,970 >> Sure. 143 00:03:05,967 --> 00:03:06,627 >> ... and go through the 144 00:03:06,633 --> 00:03:07,303 routine that we said. 145 00:03:07,300 --> 00:03:08,170 >> Right. 146 00:03:08,167 --> 00:03:08,897 >> All right. 147 00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:10,330 >> Three to the left. 148 00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:11,073 >> Right. 149 00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:12,197 Three to the right. 150 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,730 >> Three to the right. 151 00:03:13,733 --> 00:03:15,573 Back up off me! 152 00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:16,327 >> I'm right here. 153 00:03:16,333 --> 00:03:17,203 Just tell him that we're gonna 154 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,130 have to let him go. 155 00:03:18,133 --> 00:03:18,803 >> Okay. 156 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:19,730 We're going to have to let you 157 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:20,433 go, okay? 158 00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:21,133 >> (rapping) Let it go, dog! 159 00:03:21,133 --> 00:03:21,803 Let it go! 160 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:22,470 >> No, that-- 161 00:03:22,467 --> 00:03:23,167 >> Let it go, dog! 162 00:03:23,167 --> 00:03:23,897 >> No, that's not what I mean. 163 00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:24,500 >> Let it go! 164 00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:25,200 >> I mean, we gotta get rid 165 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:25,830 of you. 166 00:03:25,833 --> 00:03:26,773 >> Let it go, dog! Let it go! 167 00:03:26,767 --> 00:03:27,497 >> Do you understand that that 168 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,570 means that we-- 169 00:03:28,567 --> 00:03:30,197 We no longer going to have you 170 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,370 working for today, 171 00:03:32,367 --> 00:03:34,067 working this position. 172 00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:35,067 >> Who said that? 173 00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:35,867 >> I'm communicating to 174 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,267 you that-- 175 00:03:37,267 --> 00:03:38,067 >> Nothing against you, hon'. 176 00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:39,497 You're a really nice gal, 177 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,600 but you could tell him that 178 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:42,400 I ain't interested in 179 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:43,970 the bull (bleep). 180 00:03:43,967 --> 00:03:44,927 Tell him. 181 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:45,673 >> I'm sorry, we need you to 182 00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:46,467 leave, though. 183 00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:47,127 >> Okay. 184 00:03:47,133 --> 00:03:48,303 Can I bring my crew? 185 00:03:48,300 --> 00:03:49,270 >> What is this? 186 00:03:49,267 --> 00:03:51,497 Shut up! 187 00:03:51,533 --> 00:03:53,703 >> I'm sorry but I'm not sorry. 188 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,773 >> I am going to kill you. 189 00:03:55,767 --> 00:03:57,097 >> Brett Sellars here. 190 00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,400 We're live at the park were 191 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,230 apparently there is a sandwich 192 00:04:00,233 --> 00:04:04,073 thief on the loose. 193 00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:05,097 We're going to try to find out 194 00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:07,670 if anybody had witnessed these 195 00:04:07,667 --> 00:04:09,397 sandwich thieveries. 196 00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:10,773 Were you here when it happened, 197 00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:11,427 or...? 198 00:04:11,433 --> 00:04:12,103 >> No. 199 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:12,900 >> Oh, could you still go along 200 00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:13,930 with it? I need to get a story 201 00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:14,603 either way. 202 00:04:14,633 --> 00:04:15,273 >> Absolutely. Okay. 203 00:04:15,267 --> 00:04:16,427 >> Could you make it sound like 204 00:04:16,433 --> 00:04:17,103 you really were a victim? 205 00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:17,770 >> I'll do my best. 206 00:04:17,767 --> 00:04:18,427 >> Thank you. 207 00:04:18,433 --> 00:04:19,103 All right, can we roll? 208 00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:19,770 Okay, folks. 209 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:20,670 Brett Sellars here back on 210 00:04:20,667 --> 00:04:21,697 the scene with Scott. 211 00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:22,800 Scott, tell us what happened? 212 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:23,530 >> I was sitting there eating 213 00:04:23,533 --> 00:04:26,073 my quinoa goat cheese vegetable 214 00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:27,897 sandwich and I took a bite, 215 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:28,570 some of the quinoa 216 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,197 dripped down and a man 217 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:31,070 came over and said, 218 00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:32,267 I'll clean that up for you, 219 00:04:32,267 --> 00:04:33,397 and as I looked down, 220 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,600 the other person 221 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:35,730 behind them just took my 222 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,503 sandwich and I-- 223 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,630 Before I knew that I was 224 00:04:38,633 --> 00:04:39,903 a victim of crime, it was all 225 00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:41,230 done, it was all gone. 226 00:04:41,267 --> 00:04:41,897 >> There you have it. 227 00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:42,870 I hope things work out better 228 00:04:42,867 --> 00:04:43,827 for you in your next picnic. 229 00:04:43,833 --> 00:04:44,873 Best of luck, thank you. 230 00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:45,627 Back to you. 231 00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:46,733 Yo, what's up? 232 00:04:46,733 --> 00:04:49,233 This is Ronny and I just got 233 00:04:49,233 --> 00:04:50,873 a real important job over at 234 00:04:50,867 --> 00:04:52,167 the bowling alley working 235 00:04:52,167 --> 00:04:54,097 in the snack bar. 236 00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:54,870 So I'm going to hop in 237 00:04:54,867 --> 00:04:56,267 the shower and wash my hair up 238 00:04:56,267 --> 00:04:57,167 for you ladies. 239 00:04:57,167 --> 00:05:07,697 Come on out and say hello. 240 00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:08,800 >> What's up, partner? 241 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:13,570 >> Can I get a... 242 00:05:13,567 --> 00:05:14,897 >> And some nachos? 243 00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:15,700 >> Yes, sir. 244 00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:16,870 >> All righty. 245 00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:17,527 All right, 246 00:05:17,533 --> 00:05:18,333 and I'll be right with you with 247 00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:20,503 your nachos, boss. 248 00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:22,100 All right. 249 00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:23,800 There you go. 250 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,400 Oh, hold on. 251 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,400 Wait a second, let go. 252 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:27,370 >> Oh. 253 00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:28,367 >> What the heck? 254 00:05:28,367 --> 00:05:29,067 Something... 255 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:29,827 Hold up. 256 00:05:29,833 --> 00:05:34,273 The heck is that? 257 00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:35,667 Are you kidding me? 258 00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:37,767 That's a hair. 259 00:05:37,767 --> 00:05:38,667 Oh, no. 260 00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:39,727 No, no. 261 00:05:39,733 --> 00:05:41,333 No, that's gross man. 262 00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:42,133 All right, 263 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,073 you're all good, champ. 264 00:05:43,067 --> 00:05:44,167 Let me get your Gatorade. 265 00:05:44,167 --> 00:05:45,667 >> Um... 266 00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:47,327 I think I'm good on the nachos. 267 00:05:47,333 --> 00:05:48,573 >> You don't want the nachos? 268 00:05:48,567 --> 00:05:49,367 >> Nah, I think I'm good 269 00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:50,067 on those. 270 00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:50,697 >> Nah, it's good, 271 00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:51,800 I took it out. 272 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:52,870 >> Mm-mmm. 273 00:05:52,867 --> 00:05:53,667 >> Yeah, I pulled it out. 274 00:05:53,667 --> 00:05:56,167 They're fine, they're good. 275 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,170 You don't want them? 276 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,370 Look I'll try one. 277 00:05:58,367 --> 00:05:59,067 They're probably good, 278 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,167 it's just a hair. 279 00:06:00,167 --> 00:06:02,867 (chip crunching) 280 00:06:02,867 --> 00:06:03,527 I have long hair. 281 00:06:03,533 --> 00:06:07,073 (customer laughs) 282 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:07,667 They're good. 283 00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:08,327 >> Yeah. 284 00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:09,103 >> A little hair won't hurt you. 285 00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:09,800 >> No problem. 286 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:10,470 Thank you. 287 00:06:10,467 --> 00:06:11,627 >> Extra protein, right? 288 00:06:11,633 --> 00:06:16,273 Okay. 289 00:06:16,267 --> 00:06:17,067 Hey, guys. 290 00:06:17,067 --> 00:06:18,127 Merry Christmas! 291 00:06:18,133 --> 00:06:20,173 Ho Ho... 292 00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:21,197 (farting) 293 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:28,200 Whoa. 294 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:28,870 (farting) 295 00:06:28,867 --> 00:06:30,967 >> Oh, excuse me. 296 00:06:30,967 --> 00:06:34,067 You like that one, hon'? 297 00:06:34,067 --> 00:06:41,567 (farting) 298 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:50,127 (farting, relieved sigh) 299 00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:53,273 (farting) 300 00:06:53,267 --> 00:07:01,397 (farting) 301 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:06,630 (farting) 302 00:07:06,633 --> 00:07:07,473 Excuse me, bud, can you hold 303 00:07:07,467 --> 00:07:08,197 these for one second? 304 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,170 I just got to grab something. 305 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:13,167 Thanks. 306 00:07:13,167 --> 00:07:16,297 I'm Skippy. 307 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:17,900 Just one sec, I'm sorry. 308 00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:21,330 I can't do it at the same time. 309 00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:23,703 >> All right, man. 310 00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:25,570 >> Hi, Grandma, it's Skippy. 311 00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:27,467 Can you hear me? 312 00:07:27,467 --> 00:07:28,297 Huh? 313 00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:30,530 Grandma. 314 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,203 Let me move to get some 315 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,830 reception, I can't hear you. 316 00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:34,903 Can you hear me? 317 00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:36,070 How about now can you hear me 318 00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:36,797 or no? 319 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,070 Hello, Grandma? 320 00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:41,367 Because it will shrink. 321 00:07:41,367 --> 00:07:42,067 I know. 322 00:07:42,067 --> 00:07:43,197 That's why. 323 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,330 You know, she's been-- 324 00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:45,833 She's been trying to lose weight 325 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:48,233 for 12 months now. 326 00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:49,073 No, he didn't sell me that. 327 00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:50,097 I knew he was trying to sell it, 328 00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,670 but, he's got to put it 329 00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:53,827 on Craigslist. 330 00:07:53,833 --> 00:07:54,503 He's got to put it on 331 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:56,700 the Internet. 332 00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:58,070 If he puts it on the Internet, 333 00:07:58,067 --> 00:08:00,227 he'll be able to sell it. 334 00:08:00,233 --> 00:08:01,133 Hold on, one sec, one sec. 335 00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:02,133 >> I gotta go. 336 00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:02,803 >> You got to go? 337 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:03,470 >> Yeah, I gotta go. 338 00:08:03,467 --> 00:08:04,197 >> Okay, Grandma, listen, 339 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:04,870 Grandma. 340 00:08:04,867 --> 00:08:07,297 Uh, I have to let you go. 341 00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:11,730 Okay. 342 00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:12,673 Okay. 343 00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:14,467 Right, right. 344 00:08:14,467 --> 00:08:17,327 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 345 00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:21,103 Okay. 346 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:21,900 Oh, okay. 347 00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:23,070 I'm just in the park. 348 00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:24,297 My balloons. 349 00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:25,370 Thanks, buddy! 350 00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:31,833 (bleep) 351 00:08:31,867 --> 00:08:32,497 How you doing, bud? 352 00:08:32,500 --> 00:08:33,600 I'm bushman. 353 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,400 (both laughing) 354 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,400 I got you, pal. 355 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:45,870 * 356 00:08:45,867 --> 00:08:46,897 Would you look at that? 357 00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:48,230 I got a new selfie stick. 358 00:08:48,233 --> 00:08:53,573 Just look at it. 359 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,227 Oh, would you just look 360 00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,073 at it this? 361 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:55,767 We are getting a trio. 362 00:08:55,767 --> 00:08:56,927 >> Hi. 363 00:08:56,933 --> 00:08:57,633 >> Hi. 364 00:08:57,633 --> 00:08:58,933 >> Oh, look at this I'm getting 365 00:08:58,933 --> 00:09:00,203 my caricature done. 366 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,070 Look, ladies. 367 00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:02,967 Aren't I gorgeous? 368 00:09:02,967 --> 00:09:03,667 Oh, would you look at that. 369 00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:04,467 CIA? 370 00:09:04,467 --> 00:09:05,127 >> No. 371 00:09:05,133 --> 00:09:05,803 >> FBI? 372 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:06,470 >> No, no, no. 373 00:09:06,467 --> 00:09:07,127 >> You're not 374 00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:08,333 from the intelligence agency? 375 00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:09,203 >> No. 376 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:09,870 Indonesia. 377 00:09:09,867 --> 00:09:10,767 >> Indonesia. Okay, oh, 378 00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:11,427 would you look at that? 379 00:09:11,433 --> 00:09:12,203 I would love to go there one day 380 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,070 and look at it. Yeah. 381 00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:14,697 (laughter) 382 00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:15,900 Can I look at yet? 383 00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:16,800 I just want to look at it. 384 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,300 I can't look at it yet? 385 00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:19,270 >> Two minutes. 386 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,067 >> Okay, two minutes, 387 00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:21,067 two minutes. 388 00:09:21,067 --> 00:09:22,067 Look at this. 389 00:09:22,067 --> 00:09:22,667 Oh, look at that. 390 00:09:22,667 --> 00:09:23,397 Look at that, behind the back, 391 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,070 look at that. 392 00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:24,727 Oh, look at that. 393 00:09:24,733 --> 00:09:25,403 Look-- 394 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,970 Oh. 395 00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,097 Oh, my-- 396 00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:28,770 Around and around, 397 00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:29,427 did you see that? 398 00:09:29,433 --> 00:09:30,103 That was great. 399 00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:33,500 Would you look at this? 400 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:34,170 Welcome to 401 00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:35,527 Single&Ready2Mingle, 402 00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:38,973 a video dating service. 403 00:09:38,967 --> 00:09:39,627 Hello, my name 404 00:09:39,633 --> 00:09:40,673 is Girard Douché 405 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:41,767 and I was put on this planet 406 00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:43,067 for the women, 407 00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:45,927 so please help yourself. 408 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,833 I drive a two-seated sports car. 409 00:09:47,833 --> 00:09:49,903 One seat for me, one for you. 410 00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:51,500 If you have a beautiful friend, 411 00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,200 we have plenty of trunk. 412 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,200 I'm looking for a girl like take 413 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,800 care of me like Mama Sugar. 414 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:59,430 I like to draw picture. 415 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,073 I can draw picture of you in 416 00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,597 the nude, if you like. 417 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:13,070 I can dance for you. 418 00:10:13,067 --> 00:10:13,797 Today I have hired 419 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:14,800 someone to supervise a mover 420 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,270 while he packs up my stuff. 421 00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:17,897 What this unsuspecting person 422 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:18,870 don't know 423 00:10:18,867 --> 00:10:19,767 is the mover they are about to 424 00:10:19,767 --> 00:10:21,527 deal with is a little on edge. 425 00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:22,403 What's up, man? 426 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:23,070 >> How are you, man? 427 00:10:23,067 --> 00:10:23,727 >> Zack? 428 00:10:23,733 --> 00:10:24,403 >> Yep. 429 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:25,070 >> Ed. Nice to meet you, 430 00:10:25,067 --> 00:10:25,727 come on in. 431 00:10:25,733 --> 00:10:26,403 Just shut that behind you, 432 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,900 if you don't mind. 433 00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:28,670 I'm actually going to take 434 00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:29,527 off and he should be here in 435 00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:30,273 like five, ten minutes. 436 00:10:30,267 --> 00:10:30,927 >> Okay. 437 00:10:30,933 --> 00:10:31,733 >> Just-- I just want him to be 438 00:10:31,733 --> 00:10:32,473 careful with everything too, 439 00:10:32,467 --> 00:10:33,197 that's another thing. 440 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:33,870 Kind of like-- 441 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:34,667 I don't want him coming in like 442 00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:35,367 a bulldozer, you know? 443 00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:43,367 All right, dude. 444 00:10:43,367 --> 00:10:48,097 (doorbell rings) 445 00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:48,900 I'm going to set up my coffee 446 00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:49,700 station up here 447 00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:50,600 if you don't mind. 448 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,300 >> Do whatever you gotta do. 449 00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:51,970 >> 'Cause I drink a lot of 450 00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:52,597 coffee, so. 451 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,130 Actually, this is my second. 452 00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:54,833 >> More power to you, then. 453 00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:55,473 >> Yeah. 454 00:10:55,467 --> 00:10:56,127 What's your name again? 455 00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:56,803 >> Zack. 456 00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:57,470 >> Zack. 457 00:10:57,467 --> 00:10:58,127 >> What's your name again? 458 00:10:58,133 --> 00:10:58,803 >> Just call me Shakey. 459 00:10:58,800 --> 00:10:59,470 >> Shakey. 460 00:10:59,467 --> 00:11:00,197 >> This one, I'll start 461 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,130 loading up. 462 00:11:01,133 --> 00:11:03,073 Uh... 463 00:11:03,067 --> 00:11:09,067 (packing tape stretching) 464 00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:09,727 >> It's hard to do this 465 00:11:09,733 --> 00:11:10,533 one hand. 466 00:11:10,533 --> 00:11:11,333 >> Oh, yeah, totally. 467 00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:12,333 >> One man down. 468 00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:13,073 >> Why don't you put down 469 00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:14,067 the coffee for one second? 470 00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:15,167 >> I-- 471 00:11:15,167 --> 00:11:17,667 When I have to have my su-- 472 00:11:17,667 --> 00:11:18,527 It's like an insulin shot. 473 00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:20,203 When I have to be-- 474 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,800 All right, I can put it down, 475 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:22,770 if it makes you happy. 476 00:11:22,767 --> 00:11:24,697 >> Yeah. No, I mean, whatever. 477 00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,130 >> Ah... there. 478 00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:27,073 Let me wrap these glasses 479 00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:32,697 and get these out of the way. 480 00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,130 Scoop the rest up. 481 00:11:34,133 --> 00:11:36,473 >> I got it, I got it. 482 00:11:36,467 --> 00:11:37,127 >> We gotta wrap it-- 483 00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:38,173 >> Oh. 484 00:11:38,167 --> 00:11:39,367 My bad, sorry. 485 00:11:39,367 --> 00:11:40,267 >> Dude, come on. 486 00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,067 (glass shatters) 487 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,067 >> Mm, ah... I'm sorry. 488 00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:43,697 >> All right, let's put 489 00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:44,370 the coffee down. 490 00:11:44,367 --> 00:11:45,227 >> I apologize, I apologize. 491 00:11:45,233 --> 00:11:46,273 >> Put the coffee down. 492 00:11:46,267 --> 00:11:47,897 >> Slow down, Greg, slow down. 493 00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:48,630 (laughing) 494 00:11:48,633 --> 00:11:49,333 You know what I mean? 495 00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:50,173 >> That's what coffee will do. 496 00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:50,827 >> Oh, hide-- 497 00:11:50,833 --> 00:11:51,803 Hide that glass bag so 498 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:52,830 Ed doesn't see it. 499 00:11:52,833 --> 00:11:53,603 >> What's that? 500 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,130 >> Oh, nothing. 501 00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:57,273 I got to take a break. 502 00:11:57,267 --> 00:11:58,227 Oh! 503 00:11:58,267 --> 00:11:59,627 I put my thumb right through it. 504 00:11:59,633 --> 00:12:02,273 I put my thumb right through it. 505 00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:03,100 Just leave it in the couch. 506 00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:04,370 >> Nope. 507 00:12:04,367 --> 00:12:05,167 I'm pretty sure he wants you to 508 00:12:05,167 --> 00:12:06,067 be done by the time-- 509 00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:07,697 >> Oh! 510 00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:09,370 Oh, crap. 511 00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:11,067 Oh, crap, oh, crap. 512 00:12:11,067 --> 00:12:11,867 >> Okay, now we got to tell 513 00:12:11,867 --> 00:12:12,897 him something. 514 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:13,700 >> I'll get glue, I got glue in 515 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:14,270 my truck. 516 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:14,927 >> Glue? 517 00:12:14,933 --> 00:12:15,973 No, I don't think glue is gonna 518 00:12:15,967 --> 00:12:18,067 fix this. 519 00:12:18,067 --> 00:12:20,827 >> Hey, I fixed the couch! 520 00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:21,503 >> Come on, man! 521 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:22,470 What are you doing? 522 00:12:22,467 --> 00:12:24,767 >> It's back to normal! 523 00:12:24,767 --> 00:12:26,797 Problem solved. 524 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,070 Pillow upside down, duh. 525 00:12:28,067 --> 00:12:28,667 The oldest trick 526 00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:29,667 in the book dude. 527 00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:31,067 We don't mention that. 528 00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:32,067 If he smells it a week later, 529 00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:32,727 so what? 530 00:12:32,733 --> 00:12:34,373 We're gone. 531 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,267 We're setting sail. 532 00:12:36,267 --> 00:12:37,097 Woo. 533 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:37,930 I wasn't gonna tell you, 534 00:12:37,933 --> 00:12:38,733 'cause I don't want to get into 535 00:12:38,733 --> 00:12:40,733 trouble, but whoopsie. 536 00:12:40,733 --> 00:12:41,533 I'm probably gonna get in 537 00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:42,533 trouble for this one. 538 00:12:42,533 --> 00:12:43,633 No doubt. 539 00:12:43,633 --> 00:12:44,773 You're going to get mad at me. 540 00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:45,827 Come here. 541 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:48,103 Are you pranking me? 542 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,470 Are you pranking him? 543 00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:52,127 Are you pranking him? 544 00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:55,233 Are you're being pranked? 545 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:59,303 Zack! 546 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,100 Skippy here, 547 00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:01,070 and today I'm making sure 548 00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:02,667 everybody knows how delicious 549 00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:07,127 cheese balls are. 550 00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:07,903 >> Hi. 551 00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:08,770 >> Hi. How are you? 552 00:13:08,767 --> 00:13:09,827 >> I'm good. 553 00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:10,633 >> You're a mess. 554 00:13:10,633 --> 00:13:11,303 >> Yeah, I can't stop 555 00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:11,970 eating them, 556 00:13:11,967 --> 00:13:14,097 that's the problem. 557 00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:14,770 Cheese ball, ma'am? 558 00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:15,427 >> No. 559 00:13:15,433 --> 00:13:16,233 >> Ma'am, if you're looking for 560 00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:17,833 cheese balls, they're up here. 561 00:13:17,833 --> 00:13:18,633 Cheese balls, ma'am? 562 00:13:18,633 --> 00:13:19,573 Have some cheese balls while 563 00:13:19,567 --> 00:13:20,297 you're waiting. 564 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,370 Cheese balls are awesome. 565 00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,127 No charge. 566 00:13:22,133 --> 00:13:22,903 That's my man. 567 00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:23,730 >> You've got cheese 568 00:13:23,733 --> 00:13:24,873 all over you. 569 00:13:24,867 --> 00:13:25,667 >> Oh, that's the cheese balls. 570 00:13:25,667 --> 00:13:26,327 These are good, try one. 571 00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:27,073 Ready? 572 00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,097 One, two three. 573 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:28,930 Yeah! 574 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,103 First try. 575 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,670 Potato skins. 576 00:13:31,667 --> 00:13:32,767 Oh, they're okay. 577 00:13:32,767 --> 00:13:34,397 Cheese balls are better. 578 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,070 You can eat those 579 00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:36,197 on the way home. 580 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,670 Cheese ball? 581 00:13:37,667 --> 00:13:41,867 >> I'm good on the balls. 582 00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:42,697 Cheese balls. 583 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:44,170 >> Can I scan it for you? 584 00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:45,697 >> Yes. 585 00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:46,870 >> It's $2.29. 586 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,297 >> That's $2.35. 587 00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:49,130 >> Okay, thanks. 588 00:13:49,133 --> 00:13:50,673 Have a good day, sir. 589 00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:52,697 I can't open the register. 590 00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:54,200 Stucky! 591 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:54,970 I thought you was somebody else, 592 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:56,067 my bad. 593 00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:56,897 Oh, don't leave me hanging. 594 00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:57,800 Oh, fist bump, fist bump. 595 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:01,300 Don't leave me hanging. 596 00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:02,800 Psh. Up high. 597 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:03,700 Down low elbow. 598 00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:04,370 Elbow grease, 599 00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:05,297 a little underneath. 600 00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:06,530 Underneath the hood, up high. 601 00:14:06,533 --> 00:14:08,073 Baked potato, baked potato. 602 00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:09,367 Large fries. 603 00:14:09,367 --> 00:14:10,597 Down low twinkle toes. 604 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,730 All right. 605 00:14:11,733 --> 00:14:13,133 Baked potato, baked potato. 606 00:14:13,133 --> 00:14:14,303 Hot potato, large fries. 607 00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:15,570 Oh, what up? 608 00:14:15,567 --> 00:14:16,267 Elbow. 609 00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:17,067 Elbow. 610 00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:18,067 Elbow, elbow. 611 00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,167 Plow, plow. 612 00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:20,497 Psh. (laughs) 613 00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:21,600 Come on up. 614 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:22,770 Hit it high. 615 00:14:22,767 --> 00:14:23,797 Chest pump. 616 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:24,470 What's up? 617 00:14:24,467 --> 00:14:25,127 >> Chest bump? 618 00:14:25,133 --> 00:14:25,933 >> All right, good dog. 619 00:14:25,933 --> 00:14:29,503 Good looking out, dog. 620 00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:30,400 Welcome to the New Orleans 621 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,370 cooking experience, I'm Emilio. 622 00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:33,467 And today we're going to be 623 00:14:33,467 --> 00:14:34,267 making some of my 624 00:14:34,267 --> 00:14:36,397 signature dishes. 625 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:40,370 Let's get this party started. 626 00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:41,197 >> What's you experience in 627 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,330 cooking, first of all? 628 00:14:42,333 --> 00:14:43,603 >> Throw things together. 629 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:44,600 >> Yeah, not too much. 630 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,100 >> No chefs here, besides me? 631 00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,670 (giggling) 632 00:14:47,667 --> 00:14:48,467 Now, today we're going to start 633 00:14:48,467 --> 00:14:49,427 with one of my personal 634 00:14:49,433 --> 00:14:51,333 favorites, Emilio's crab cakes. 635 00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:52,203 Okay? 636 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,530 Now, what's the key ingredient 637 00:14:53,533 --> 00:14:54,333 in a crab cake? 638 00:14:54,333 --> 00:14:55,173 >> (together) Crab. 639 00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:56,527 >> Hello! 640 00:14:56,533 --> 00:14:58,973 These are blue crabs, okay? 641 00:14:58,967 --> 00:14:59,767 >> Oh. 642 00:14:59,767 --> 00:15:01,967 >> Would you just look at that? 643 00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:05,527 There's my little brother. 644 00:15:05,533 --> 00:15:06,973 Would you look at that? 645 00:15:06,967 --> 00:15:09,067 Can I get a hand over here. 646 00:15:09,067 --> 00:15:10,097 Just look at it. 647 00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:11,070 Look at that crab claw. 648 00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:11,697 >> Just look at it. 649 00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:12,370 >> Give him a hand! 650 00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:13,627 Look at it. 651 00:15:13,633 --> 00:15:14,373 Now the next dish we're gonna 652 00:15:14,367 --> 00:15:15,397 move on to, 653 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:16,470 it's one of my specialties, 654 00:15:16,467 --> 00:15:17,527 turtle soup. 655 00:15:17,533 --> 00:15:18,673 Do you guys know how to chop an 656 00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:19,597 onion properly? 657 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:20,570 >> No. 658 00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:21,467 (overlapping chatter, laughter) 659 00:15:21,467 --> 00:15:22,167 >> Okay. 660 00:15:22,167 --> 00:15:23,127 Crash course in cutting 661 00:15:23,133 --> 00:15:23,803 an onion. 662 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:24,470 Now, voila. 663 00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:25,127 Look at this. 664 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:25,873 Look what I'm saying. 665 00:15:25,867 --> 00:15:26,567 Just look at it. 666 00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:27,327 Look at this. 667 00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:28,273 Look at this. 668 00:15:28,267 --> 00:15:29,497 Look at that. 669 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:30,700 Look at that. 670 00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:31,470 Look at that. 671 00:15:31,467 --> 00:15:32,527 Now... 672 00:15:32,533 --> 00:15:36,503 (loud and fast chopping) 673 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,070 ("Emilio" giggles) 674 00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,827 Forgive me. 675 00:15:39,833 --> 00:15:42,073 (sniffling, women laughing) 676 00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:42,867 I can't go on. 677 00:15:42,867 --> 00:15:45,867 I can't do this. 678 00:15:45,867 --> 00:15:48,567 The key to a fresh soup is 679 00:15:48,567 --> 00:15:51,297 your stock, so I created my own. 680 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,630 This particular stock has been 681 00:15:53,633 --> 00:15:55,873 marinating for three years, 682 00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,197 so we're gonna try to get some 683 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:57,930 of the gravel, 684 00:15:57,933 --> 00:15:58,733 'cause the gravel-- 685 00:15:58,733 --> 00:16:00,433 that's gonna give it its flavor. 686 00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:01,573 And it's a little crunchy. 687 00:16:01,567 --> 00:16:02,467 Look at that. 688 00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:03,567 Just look at that. 689 00:16:03,567 --> 00:16:04,297 Is that not gorgeous 690 00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:05,800 looking soup? 691 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,300 We're gonna move on. 692 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,500 Now, po' boys. 693 00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:09,200 >> Ooh. 694 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,200 >> Ooh, tell me about it. 695 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,100 >> You can have, like, 696 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,600 fried shrimp or fried oysters. 697 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:14,870 >> Your standard po' boy, right? 698 00:16:14,867 --> 00:16:17,367 I have my own signature po' boy 699 00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:19,767 and I'm gonna to show you how 700 00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:21,667 I did it. 701 00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:24,227 This is our key ingredient. 702 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:24,903 Now my-- 703 00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:25,630 >> No! 704 00:16:25,633 --> 00:16:26,903 >> My po' boy, 705 00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:28,130 it's a Burmese python. 706 00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:28,803 Come on. 707 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:29,670 >> Burmese python. 708 00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:30,527 >> Delicious, if we can get him 709 00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:32,173 on the bun. 710 00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:32,827 Get him on the bun. 711 00:16:32,833 --> 00:16:33,503 We're not gonna get him 712 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:34,170 in the oven 713 00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:34,967 if we don't get him on the bun. 714 00:16:34,967 --> 00:16:35,497 >> I'm sorry. 715 00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:36,270 (python hissing) 716 00:16:36,267 --> 00:16:37,267 >> Oh, he's hissing. 717 00:16:37,267 --> 00:16:38,327 >> He's grumpy. 718 00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:39,173 He woke up on the wrong side 719 00:16:39,167 --> 00:16:39,827 of the bed. 720 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:40,573 Just look at him. 721 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:41,427 Look at him. 722 00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:42,273 You gotta come look at him. 723 00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:43,127 >> I'm going over there. 724 00:16:43,133 --> 00:16:44,603 >> Look at the snake. 725 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:45,600 And I want you to look over 726 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:46,670 there at our cameras. 727 00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:47,827 >> Wow, what? 728 00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,133 >> There's a camera behind her. 729 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:49,803 There's one thee. 730 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:50,630 We're filming my show. 731 00:16:50,633 --> 00:16:51,303 It's called 732 00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:52,570 "The Ed Bassmaster Show." 733 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,430 Crew, everybody. 734 00:16:53,433 --> 00:16:54,773 You guys did a great job. 735 00:16:57,333 --> 00:16:58,073 >> Step right up to see 736 00:16:58,067 --> 00:17:00,127 my magic show. 737 00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:05,897 Pick a card, any card. 738 00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:09,370 Show it to your friend. 739 00:17:09,367 --> 00:17:10,297 Put it anywhere and then... 740 00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:11,970 Hold on. 741 00:17:11,967 --> 00:17:12,927 That's the joker card that comes 742 00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:13,973 with the deck. 743 00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:15,267 I forgot to take that out. 744 00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:16,067 Sorry, hold on. 745 00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:16,727 And these are 746 00:17:16,733 --> 00:17:17,603 the instructional cards that 747 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,330 come with the deck. 748 00:17:18,333 --> 00:17:19,173 As you can see, that's all 749 00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:22,067 I am removing from the deck. 750 00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:23,367 So I'm just doing some magic. 751 00:17:23,367 --> 00:17:25,067 I'm kind of new at it, so. 752 00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:26,067 If you wouldn't mind 753 00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:27,167 picking a card. 754 00:17:27,167 --> 00:17:28,527 Put that in your right 755 00:17:28,533 --> 00:17:32,203 back pocket. 756 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:32,900 All right, so there's three 757 00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:35,200 aces, there's one nine, 758 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,070 two nine, one ten. 759 00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:37,827 It's a little bit harder than 760 00:17:37,833 --> 00:17:42,073 I thought, please. 761 00:17:42,067 --> 00:17:43,227 Do me a favor. 762 00:17:43,233 --> 00:17:44,073 We'll cut right now. 763 00:17:44,067 --> 00:17:46,227 Just tell me what the card was. 764 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:49,933 Nine of diamonds? Okay. 765 00:17:49,967 --> 00:17:51,167 Show the guy next to you. 766 00:17:51,167 --> 00:17:52,327 Don't show me. 767 00:17:55,933 --> 00:17:56,903 What was that all about? 768 00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:57,970 See you in a few. 769 00:17:57,967 --> 00:17:59,067 All right, thank you. 770 00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:00,367 Bye-bye. 771 00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:01,667 Brett Sellars here, we just 772 00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:02,397 ordered some food. 773 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,300 It's getting delivered, 774 00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:04,370 when the delivery guy gets here, 775 00:18:04,367 --> 00:18:05,397 we're gonna make him run through 776 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,300 an obstacle course. 777 00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:07,230 Let's go. 778 00:18:07,233 --> 00:18:07,903 Here we have-- 779 00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:08,570 Whoa, almost run me 780 00:18:08,567 --> 00:18:09,327 down here, okay. 781 00:18:09,333 --> 00:18:10,273 How are you doing, sir? 782 00:18:10,267 --> 00:18:10,927 >> What's up? 783 00:18:10,933 --> 00:18:11,603 D-Lo. 784 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,270 >> D-Lo? 785 00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:13,067 We're here with D-Lo, 786 00:18:13,067 --> 00:18:14,097 I'm your host Brett Sellars. 787 00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:15,100 Welcome to 788 00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:18,800 the food delivery challenge. 789 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:19,800 Point of the game, D-Lo, 790 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,700 is to get from here 791 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:22,400 to that door. 792 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,100 Do you think you can handle 793 00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:23,800 the challenge? 794 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:24,730 >> Of course. 795 00:18:24,733 --> 00:18:25,473 >> Okay, let's put this food 796 00:18:25,467 --> 00:18:26,127 down in the ground and get 797 00:18:26,133 --> 00:18:26,903 this started. 798 00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:28,070 Line up right by the hula-hoops. 799 00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:28,967 When I tell you to go, 800 00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:30,067 you're gonna give me ten 801 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,267 rotations around the hula hoop. 802 00:18:31,267 --> 00:18:32,127 All we ready, D-Lo? 803 00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:33,373 Let's start the clocks. 804 00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:34,067 Three. 805 00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:34,697 Two. 806 00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:35,430 Go! 807 00:18:35,433 --> 00:18:36,103 Come on, D-Lo, pick up 808 00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:36,830 the hula hoop. 809 00:18:36,833 --> 00:18:37,673 Come on, spin it. 810 00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:39,127 One, three, four, nine, ten, 811 00:18:39,133 --> 00:18:39,973 drop the hula hoop. 812 00:18:39,967 --> 00:18:41,397 Hop on the Brett express, 813 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,330 hop on. 814 00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:43,403 All right, here we go, 815 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:44,470 around the cones. 816 00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:47,267 Around the cones we go. 817 00:18:47,267 --> 00:18:48,067 All right, head on the bat, 818 00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:48,697 D-Lo. 819 00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:49,470 Circle the bat ten times, 820 00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:50,127 let's go. 821 00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:53,973 One, two, three. 822 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:54,627 Excellent. 823 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:56,203 Okay, now hit the ball, 824 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,900 hit the ball! 825 00:18:57,900 --> 00:18:58,730 Okay. 826 00:18:58,733 --> 00:18:59,403 Nice try. 827 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,270 Let's get to our tug of war, 828 00:19:00,267 --> 00:19:01,597 we have a tug of war here, D-Lo. 829 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:02,400 Let's go. 830 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:03,800 You versus Brett Sellars 831 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:04,500 on the tug of war. 832 00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:05,700 Let's do it, come on! 833 00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:07,370 Pull! 834 00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:08,867 Oh, crap! 835 00:19:08,867 --> 00:19:10,297 Oh, D-Lo! 836 00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:11,430 >> I had to do it to you, man. 837 00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:12,233 >> Through the cross line, 838 00:19:12,233 --> 00:19:13,073 the finish line! 839 00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:15,367 Through the finish line! 840 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,730 There we have it, folks. 841 00:19:16,733 --> 00:19:18,673 D-Lo has completed the course 842 00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:20,327 and taken first place. 843 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,203 D-Lo, that was amazing! 844 00:19:22,233 --> 00:19:23,573 How do you feel? 845 00:19:23,567 --> 00:19:24,767 What's going through your mind? 846 00:19:24,767 --> 00:19:26,527 >> One of y'all owe me $11. 847 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:31,803 >> We owe the guy $11. 848 00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:33,073 - Oh, no. 849 00:19:33,133 --> 00:19:35,173 I do not like what I see. 850 00:19:35,267 --> 00:19:36,427 I see... 851 00:19:36,533 --> 00:19:37,703 a lot of fingerprints. 852 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,600 Open up a can of cat food. 853 00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:40,600 [cats meowing] 854 00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:41,670 Open up a can of cat food. 855 00:19:41,767 --> 00:19:43,467 Open up a can of cat food. 856 00:19:43,567 --> 00:19:45,067 Get off the counter! 857 00:19:45,167 --> 00:19:46,127 Spit it right in the bucket. 858 00:19:46,233 --> 00:19:47,373 Right in the bucket. There you go. 859 00:19:47,467 --> 00:19:48,627 Go ahead. 860 00:19:48,733 --> 00:19:50,133 Yo! Oh. 861 00:19:50,233 --> 00:19:51,233 Dip. 862 00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:54,433 Dip, dip, dip, 863 00:19:54,533 --> 00:19:56,103 dip, drip. 864 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:57,100 Oh, [bleep]. 865 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,200 Oh, whoa. 866 00:20:02,867 --> 00:20:03,497 Sing a song about your 867 00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,770 sandwiches being stolen. 868 00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:07,167 >> * Well I was sitting there 869 00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:09,267 * Eating my sandwich 870 00:20:09,267 --> 00:20:10,267 * It was organic 871 00:20:10,267 --> 00:20:12,797 * And gluten-free 872 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,230 * And then some 873 00:20:14,233 --> 00:20:16,033 * Unfortunate person 874 00:20:16,033 --> 00:20:17,133 * Took the sandwich 875 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:19,103 * Away from me 876 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:21,830 * I've eaten 877 00:20:21,833 --> 00:20:24,573 * My last quinoa * 878 00:20:24,567 --> 00:20:27,297 I'll never eat quinoa again. 879 00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:28,470 >> Very touching, Scott. 880 00:20:28,467 --> 00:20:29,397 Thank you. 881 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,630 That was amazing. 882 00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:31,973 Best of luck, sir, best of luck. 883 00:20:31,967 --> 00:20:32,927 Thank you, back to you. 884 00:20:32,977 --> 00:20:37,527 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 52186

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