Original subtitles

>> Hey, guys, I'm Ed Bassmaster,

and you may have seen me

on Youtube.

(incoherent gibberish)

And that is me.

>> What're you talking about?

>> I'm a bush!

That's me too.

Crawfish here is amazing.

>> Yeah.

>> I just ordered it.

When I see a car like this,

first thing I do is I say,

"Would you look at this?"

Yeah, all of those guys are me.

>> Yes yes yes!

>> You're my favorite!

>> I have almost a billion views

on the internet, and now

I'm gonna take what I do

to television.

Well, that was a short date.

>> It was.

This is

"The Ed Bassmaster Show."

>> Hey guys, check it out.

We have a house rigged with all

sorts of contraptions to make it

seem haunted,

and we got some exterminators

pulling up right now.

We're gonna let them in

and try to scare them.

Hey, how are you?

>> Good, how are you?

>> Pest Control, right?

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah, just making sure.

>> I'm Kimberly, nice to meet--

>> Kimberly?

Nice to meet you, I'm Ed.

>> You Mr. Jones?

>> Yes.

>> I'm Quentin.

>> You can call me Ed, dude.

Nice to meet you.

>> Nice to meet you, too.

>> What's your name?

>> Colin.

>> Colin?

>> Yes.

>> What's going on?

>> Dude, it's been--

it's been a nightmare.

I just keep hearing stuff

in the house,

and sometimes during the day,

too, but mostly at night.

(rattling)

That!

>> Holy crap.

>> Yeah, that's--

>> Oh, my gosh.

That's something big.

That ain't no small something.

That's something big, man.

>> This morning,

I went into the kitchen.

>> Uh-huh.

>> I made myself a bowl of

cereal, stepped back out,

went back in,

all the cabinets were open.

>> Did you do that?

>> That's the other thing, man.

What the heck was that?

Did somebody just throw

a ball through the window?

What the heck?

Whoa! Jeez.

>> That is, like,

beyond anything...

>> Bizarre, right?

>> Yeah.

Well, I'm thinking you might

need to call, like, a priest or

something, man, at this point.

(laughing)

>> Stop, stop.

>> Stop!

>> I can show you the basement.

>> Okay, um...

you got a heavy stick?

>> Yeah, just in case.

See, there's the lights.

>> It's-- yeah.

>> Every time I come down here.

>> I'm outta here, dude.

>> I'm gonna get a light.

>> Yes, this happened

last night.

That happened last night.

I don't know what that is.

Like, what animals

would do that?

>> How old is this home?

>> Maybe you got ghosts.

(laughing)

>> All right, we have

a confession.

We don't have

pesky critters here.

>> That's crazy.

>> We gotta let you off

the hook.

>> We got a spirit in

this house.

>> "The Ed Bassmaster Show."

>> What are you doing?

>> Hello!

Skippy here,

AKA Mr. Safety,

and I'm here in Nashville on my

Segway, teaching people

the finer points about--

Oh!

We have a lively crowd

coming across, guys.

Here we come, three, two, one,

go, let's go, come on, move it.

Keep it tight, let's go.

Come on, I got traffic,

let's go.

Hold on, guys.

Let's go.

Have a good day, guys.

You going that way?

Crap!

Have a great day.

Check it out.

Woo-hoo!

Yeehaw.

This thing is fun,

you should try it.

>> You're dangerous.

>> Dangerous?

I'm not dangerous, you are.

>> (muttering)

>> You almost walked into me

three times, what do you mean

I'm dangerous?

Get outta here.

>> Brett Sellars here, folks,

and we are here with another

installment of "Gotcha."

It's the prank without a prank,

it's just the reveal,

stay tuned, you're gonna love it

in three, two, one.

Come on, guys, come on,

we're gonna let our--

we're gonna let our mark

off the hook now.

And we're here.

We gotcha.

What did you think?

>> About what?

>> Well, we gotcha.

We're let-- come on, guys.

We're letting her the hook.

When you sat down,

and you first saw me

walking over, did you put

two and two together that

you were being pranked?

>> What is-- wait, what?

>> What went through your mind

when you realized

it was a prank?

>> Wait, I was never pranked,

though.

>> Yeah, yeah, we just gotcha.

We got--

that's why we're out here.

>> Oh, like a surprise.

>> Yes, tell the camera what you

thought.

>> It was pretty crazy.

I was just eating my candy.

>> She had no idea,

and we got her, folks.

But I don't know why you guys

are all looking at me,

so I feel like I'm missing

something.

>> The whole prank is

there is no real prank.

>> Okay, that's what I thought.

>> Hey guys, Jay Wells here,

and I unbox everything.

I unbox it all.

*

Hey, guys, Jay Wells here AKA

JayReviewsWell73.

How are you?

Picked something up today on the

way home from work, and I want

to unbox it for you guys.

He said you just peel it.

There we go, he's right.

Oh, I see, it peels down,

there we go.

There you go.

Check that out.

It's got, like, dreadlocks

or something, I'm not sure

what that is.

It smells.

It's got a big birth mark.

Look at how top heavy it is

when I--

Look at that.

I knew that was going to happen.

I don't think putting it back

together is going to work.

No, it's-- nope.

I can't give this one

a thumbs-up-- the guy told me,

"Just unpeel it."

I did that, it broke.

So, 'til next time.

>> Hey guys, Marlin Woods here,

and today I'm going

to ask people for help.

>> Excuse me, can you help me

read this letter?

I had my pupils dilated

at the eye doctor's,

and I can't read it.

Can you please read it to me?

Officially what?

>> Evicted.

>> Convicted?

>> Evicted.

>> Evicted why?

>> "Therefore, you pay

"$775 a month, not 325

"and a handful of

"clipped coupons

and scratch-offs."

>> Those coupons were worth

a thousand dollars of...

>> Yeah, we're not

arguing with you.

>> I'm sorry.

>> "We have also received

"countless complaints from all

"other tenants regarding your

incessant invasive behavior."

>> What does that mean?

>> I'm not sure.

Are you invasive?

>> Never, read on.

>> "You have tried to sue me

"once a month for seven years,

"you are constantly breaking

things and hurting yourself."

>> Well, I--

>> "You cause plumbing problems

"more than any normal

human being could."

>> Oh, yes.

>> Regardless of our

relationship, you should really

get your bowels checked out

by a professional,

it's not right.

>> That is true, but that's

personal, that's a low blow.

This is ridiculous,

this is ridiculous.

>> Yeah.

>> "Please don't make this more

"difficult than it needs to be.

"I'm even happy to give you

"a recommendation to another

"building if it gets you

out of my life."

>> Yes, nice.

>> "I will pray for the soul of

"your next landlord but I need

"to rid myself of the curse

"that is you so I can move on

with the rest of my life."

>> I can't take it anymore.

I have to tell you, we have

a couple guys over here

and over there filming my show.

It's called

"The Ed Bassmaster Show."

>> As soon as I got halfway,

I was like, what the (bleep)

is this ?

(dog barking)

(mumbling incoherently)

>> Whoa.

Hey, Bartledoo, old swamps here.

Crab bone stink

and all that hinkey.

Go way on to what you want,

it don't come on matter.

Hello, puppy.

Is he a scoopy dog?

>> A what?

>> He scoopy goo?

>> No, I don't know

what that is.

>> Scoopy, scoopy goo?

Where are you?

>> Oh, Scooby.

>> Yeah.

>> Um, I don't know--

>> It look like the same--

I don't know,

he looks like a scoopy.

Yeah, he--

oh, my dog like the round hole.

>> Yeah.

>> Y'all cooking?

>> Yes.

>> Y'all cooking hot dogs?

>> Possibly.

>> Well, here you go.

>> He's hot.

>> Put him on?

>> Put him on.

(dog whining)

What, what, what, what?

Hey.

Snaps on he's brother

or something.

>> Yeah, exactly.

>> They got the tame old collar.

Say hi, Loochy.

>> Hey, Loochy.

>> No, it's Loochy.

>> Loochy?

>> No, no, no, Loochy.

I thought you said Loochy.

It's not Loochy, it's Loochy.

>> Loochy?

>> No, no, no, Loochy.

Like, "I Love Loochy."

>> Oh, gotcha, okay, okay.

>> Yeah.

(phone ringing)

>> Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Hello? Skippy.

Hi, Mom.

>> Hey, guys.

This is Skippy.

And I'm going on a date,

with a girl who has no idea

she's going on a date with me.

Hi.

Can I just leave that there

for one sec, please?

>> Yeah.

>> I'll be right back.

I'm sorry, I'm just trying to--

Be right back.

Hello.

>> Hi.

>> I'm Skippy

>> Nice to meet you,

I'm Danielle.

>> Yeah, I'm little bit nervous,

I apologize.

>> Oh, you're fine.

>> This is my first blind date.

>> Oh!

>> There you are-- nice.

>> Oh, no, did I--

>> Nice fresh milk.

>> What kind of milk is that?

>> Its vitamin D.

Thanks for joining me.

>> I don't have too long,

I have to get back to work.

>> Oh, really?

>> Sorry.

>> That's such a shame.

Maestro!

>> --late date.

* (violin playing)

Cheers!

>> We should probably go see

a movie after lunch.

>> I have to go back to work.

>> Would you like to dance

before you leave?

>> No, not today.

>> No, all right.

>> Thank you though.

>> That's okay.

>> Sorry.

>> Where do you work at?

>> Service store,

right around the corner.

>> Nice.

I work for a TV show called

"The Ed Bassmaster Show,"

and I have a whole crew

and everything.

>> You do?

>> Yeah, it's pretty cool--

it's a pretty cool gig.

Thanks for having a date,

I appreciate it.

>> Yeah, I enjoyed it, cheers!

>> Nice to meet-- cheers!

>> Hey, I'm Jeff.

>> And I'm Hally.

>> And today I got some movers

coming over to help me

break up with her.

>> Hey, how's it going?

>> I'm Drew.

>> Hally, Drew?

>> How you doing?

>> Nice to meet you, hey.

>> I'm Troy.

>> Hey, guys.

>> Troy, nice to meet you--

>> Hey, what's up, Jeff.

Jerome?

Nice to meet you, man.

So we're going to start here,

all the small stuff.

The furniture and stuff,

we're gonna do that later.

We just want to get

all the small stuff out.

>> I'll be right back,

guys, okay?

>> All right.

Take your time, hon'.

>> We're only getting her stuff.

It's not gonna take all day.

We'll be out of here in, like,

20 minutes, half hour, tops.

>> Oh.

>> One of us is going,

and one of us isn't.

>> Oh, (bleep).

>> It's not working out,

if you know what I mean?

So, she thinks we bought a house

and that we're moving

into the house together.

Now, let's-- here.

>> Hey, guys, surprise!

>> Oh, wow, you didn't

have to do that.

Look at that, she brought

you guys lemonade and cookies.

Oh, yeah, you're the best.

You are--

>> Oh, man, I'm so excited we're

finally moving out, I never

thought it would happen.

>> Me neither.

All right, hon', why don't you--

>> Yeah, I'm gonna run upstairs

real quick.

>> Run an errand or something,

pack the bathroom up

or something.

>> Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Let the guys be guys.

Imagine putting up with that

24/7.

She smothers me, you know,

she's one of those good girls,

you know, "Little House

on the Prairie" type.

It's not for me, man.

I haven't found the right time

to tell her, though, yet.

Let me show you this, too.

This is all her stuff.

>> Everything here.

>> Hold that for me.

Yo.

>> The basketball.

Sure about this--

>> Yeah, man.

I need advice, dude.

I want to break it to her,

but I don't want to, like,

crush her dreams.

Just, like, break--

hold on, hon', can you give me--

>> Guys, no, no, no, wait,

I have to tell you something.

>> What, what, what, what?

>> We're pregnant.

Can you believe that?

>> Is this real?

>> Yes.

I know, I--

I know, I should have--

>> Yeah.

>> No, but we have witnesses.

We have witnesses now.

>> She's pregnant.

>> Yeah!

>> Yahoo!

>> I think my temperature

just got hot.

>> Oh, really?

>> You're excited.

>> Your temperature got hot,

my temperature is like--

>> I'm-- I'm ecstatic.

I don't know what to say.

>> Oh, my God.

>> Hon', do me a favor.

Go upstairs and call your mom,

go upstairs and call your mom

and share-- share

the hugs, okay?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Please, do me one favor.

Let me run out to my car,

when she comes down,

just tell her for me, please.

Trust me, I'll take care of

you guys, please.

All right.

Oh, man?

Are you kidding me?

>> Hey, Jeff?

(bleep)

You guys know where Jeff went?

What, yeah?

Yeah, what's up?

What-- he got you

to tell me that?

That's not--

I mean, we're getting a house

together, that's not what's

going on.

He told you to tell me that?

Hey, what's going on?

>> Listen.

>> They're saying--

>> What did he tell you?

What did he say?

>> He said that the reason

you're moving all my stuff out

first is because you are--

you're leaving?

>> That's what he wants.

>> Guys, you know what's

going on, right?

Do you know what's going on?

>> Yeah, you're leaving her.

>> Where am I going?

>> Far away from her.

>> Yes.

To a place called

"The Ed Bassmaster Show."

>> Mother (bleep)!

>> See right here?

>> (bleep)!

Did you believe it?

>> Yeah, I did, I did, I did.

>> You know what?

Here's your citation, take that.

Pay within ten days or show up

to court, I don't care.

Have a good day, sir.

Hey, guys, Jay Wells here,

and I unbox everything.

I unbox it all.

Hey, guys, Jay Wells here, AKA

JayReviewsWell73.

I finally did it.

Went out and got

the can of tuna.

I'm going to unbox it for you.

It's got 40% selenium.

I'm a little bit

concerned with that.

I'm not sure what that is.

Let's open it up.

Apparently, I was not informed

that we need a can opener.

The guy who sold it to me...

didn't tell me that.

Now I can do the unboxing.

There might be something

wrong with that.

I just cracked that open, and

there is a foul order

coming from it.

Umm...

so, anyhow,

stay tuned next week,

I'm going to do an unboxing

of some peanuts.

>> Hi.

Would you mind just watching

this for just a sec, please?

Thank you.

Thank you.

I don't have a lighter.

Do you have a lighter?

>> No, sorry.

>> No?

>> Seems like you are

planning a romantic rendezvous

with somebody.

>> Yeah.

I'm a little nervous.

It's my first blind date.

>> That'd be a little

nerve-wracking.

>> Thank you for joining me.

You look very lovely today.

Just tell me to say when.

>> Why are you--

>> Milk?

>> Oh, I'm not your date.

>> Oh, cheers.

Maestro!

* (violin plays)

Got enough for the both of us.

>> You must be meaning to--

meaning to meet somebody else.

>> What do you mean?

Oh no, I saw you sitting here.

>> I'm married.

>> You say you were married?

>> I'm married, yeah.

>> Happily married?

>> Oh, yeah.

>> That's good.

>> Yeah, thank you.

So I'm thinking you must be

meaning to meet

somebody else, so.

>> Leaving so soon?

>> Yeah, got to go.

>> Well, that was a short date.

>> It was.

>> Unbelievable.

>> What's up, bro?

>> Hey.

>> What y'all got putting

for me today?

>> That's right.

>> We're gonna play you

a good old song, man.

>> That's right.

>> Good old song, good old boy?

Hey, K-bone sound with that.

>> That's right.

>> You gotta sing it with us.

>> I'll ting 'em a little bit.

* Well, high day Nisha

* Mary Ann, Marra Lou

* Mm-hmm

* There was shimmy and Betty

* And also Lady Sue

>> Lady Sue?

>> * Mm-hmm

>> I think I dated her.

>> * And then there's Emma

* And Karen and some other few

* I can't remember the names

* But they hit me up and said

* "Mamas, you gotta to pay me

* The fuang *

*

(laughing)

>> Brrrrr...

...ett Sellars here, folks!

And we are here at

America's favorite pastime,

waiting in line!

Let's go talk to some people.

Come on.

Brett Sellars here.

Sir, love the shirt,

love the color.

How you doing?

>> Good.

>> Good.

Waiting for a ride?

>> No.

>> Uber?

Great talking to you.

Brett Sellars live,

outside of a long line.

We have in fact found

one of the biggest lines in

Nashville, Tennessee.

Just wanted to show you guys

what a long line looks like.

It was pandemonium,

it was chaos over there.

There were several, several

dozen people over there.

So we'll have to move on, but if

you see over there, folks--

(car honking horn)

>> Oh, sorry.

Sorry about that.

Excuse me, sir.

Coming through, coming through.

Thanks, coming through.

How are you ladies doing today?

Brett Sellars.

Right here.

Check this out.

That's right.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Brett Sellars, getting it done.

>> How are you, pal?

>> I'm doing awesome.

>> So am I.

I am almost as tall as you on my

Segway, isn't that impressive?

>> Until I go...

>> Until he goes downhill.

Oh, we got the-- we got

the National Anthem going on.

>> * The land

* Of the free

* And the home

* Of the brave *

>> That was fantastic.

>> You were fantastic

>> Thank you, sir.

Good to meet you.

>> Thank you.

>> Excuse me, can I just set

this here for one sec?

>> Sure.

>> Thank you.

>> I'll be right back, I just

got to grab something.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

I am so nervous.

It's my first blind date.

>> It's your first?

>> Yes, my first one.

I'm Skippy.

>> Aww.

>> You are?

>> I'm Strawberry.

>> Hi, Strawberry, my favorite--

that's my favorite flavor.

>> Yeah?

See, that's lucky for you.

>> To Strawberry and Skippy.

First blind date,

happy as can be.

Matter of fact, Maestro!

* (violin plays)

Oh, this is lovely.

So romantic.

>> It is so romantic.

>> And...

do you think I look handsome?

>> Certainly.

>> Thank you!

Do you think

good enough for a TV show?

>> Uh, certainly.

>> For "The Ed Bassmaster Show."

>> I'd say go for it.

>> Go for it!

* Thank you

* For being on my show

* This is my show

* Thank you for playing music

* For my show

* Music for my show

* Don't you know?

* Well, I'm Skippy

* I got a TV show

* Sitting here with Strawberry

* Don't you know

* She's got blonde hair

* And she likes to eat a salad

* And thank you *

>> Thank you, Maestro.

>> Thank you, Maestro.

- That's a silverback gorilla.

- What? - Yeah.

Yo, Gil, what's up, man? You want a banana?

You want a banana? Yo, check this out.

Come on.

Yo, get-- [yells]

- Smooth. Nice. - Just look at it.

Isn't it gorgeous? - Yeah, it's gorgeous.

- It's shiny. - It's shiny.

- And it really pops. - Yeah.

[rock music]

*

- Oh, man, he just dropped his whole ice cream.

Look, he's gonna pick it up and put it back up on there.

Oh, my God!

I wish you had some blinds here.

I'd sure let them down. - [laughs]

>> That's what I'm talking

about, they're, like,

biting the wires still.

I don't--

>> No, it's-- it's not that.

You've got a spirit in here.

>> And the egg smash clash...

>> Blast master faster

than any caster.

On the tip.

>> Cheers.

>> So, I'd like--

>> Is this supposed to, like,

video, show video?

'Cause I hit the record button,

and it--

>> You didn't hold the--

>> Oh, it didn't video.

>> You have to hold it down.

>> Can you do it one more time?

>> I've never used it before,

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