All language subtitles for Teenage.Bounty.Hunters.S01e03

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Hi.

Hi.
-Hey.

Morning!
-Hey, Sweetie.

See you Sunday!

Oh, my God!

You never get used to the smell, do you?

I was opening up my shop for the day,

and I saw him there with his head cut...

clean off of his body.

Sterling, you've been fixing your hair

for the past eight minutes now.

If your hairline gets
any more symmetrical,

people are gonna think you got plugs.

Can you walk me into school today?

I would, but I'm really
trying to own my identity

as a single American. Jennings
and I were so codependent.

Codependent like the two
of us? Is that bad?

Oh, God no, your breath is my life.

I'm surprised my love for you
didn't absorb you in the womb.

Me neither. I would absorb
you right now if I could.

Totally.

But, for real, I gotta get
to lacrosse conditioning.

I have never felt this much
dread going to school before.

This must be how dumb kids
feel or, like... substitutes.

You're making too much out of this.

You know how the 24-hour
news cycle works.

I'm sure by now, your "sex thing"

is back page to Coach Boone finally
getting her eye un-crossed.

She looks so much better.

I don't know, I kind of liked
how her left eye was all, like,

"Fuck you, I'm going this way."

No, I can't do it.

Okay, let's go.

No more mirror time.

Just know I'm praying for you.

Sterling! What a surprise
to see you at Fellowship.

I'm not sure that today is a
good day for you to join us.

Emotions are still pretty raw right now.

Welcome, come on in. Hi.

Help yourself to a chicken biscuit.

Made fresh.

What are you talking about?

Some students are having trouble

processing your erotic transgressions.

The betrayal, the graphic
depiction of events.

I never depicted...

Oh, I had Ezequiel show them
what you and Luke did, using dolls.

He was pretty spot on with your voices.

It was quite upsetting.

We're actually having a
grief counselor come in.

Well, when should I come back?

I'll have to get back to you.

I know it's hard, but try to remember:

Isaiah 43:2

"When you pass through the waters,

God is with you."

I know Isaiah!

Stay strong, Sterling.

You'll get through this.

Hey, those chili dogs were
really good earlier, right?

Were they? I don't even know anymore.

Come on, pull yourself together.
Things aren't that bad.

Oh, thank the Lord. Where have you been?

Do you know how humiliating it is

sitting here alone, like
a couple of lepers?

Why aren't you sitting with your
buddies from the golf team?

How can we trust anything
you say anymore?

"Sterling and I are
waiting until marriage.

Our temptations will never
be as strong as our faith."

Apparently, that was all
just locker room talk!

You fornicator!
-Watch your mouth!

I trusted you! We all did!

Cheese and crackers! Franklin,
you need to sit down, right now.

Fight me in the shower, bitch. Come on!

Franklin... Franklin!
-Get out of my way!

What's wrong with him?

They took away my captainship.

They took my Crusaders Captain Club cozy

and they threw it on the floor!

My grandfather...

My grandfather was captain of
the golf team here at Willingham,

and my dad, and my brother.

I was supposed to follow
in their footsteps

and play golf at UGA. Go, Dogs!

Go, Dogs!

Now that dream is dead.

And without a team,

without men to lead to victory,

I have nothing.

What about me? I'm a social pariah.

I'll spend the rest of my high
school days without any friends.

Hey, guys, come on!

Buck up!

Luke, there are a ton of other
sports here at Willingham.

Pick another one and make new buds.

And Sterling, if those dorks at
Fellowship are gonna judge you,

then screw them!
Who cares what they think?

Blair, not caring about what
people think is your thing, okay?

I care a lot!

Okay, well, Fellowship
is just one clique.

There are plenty of other groups
that you could slide into.

Okay, maybe you're right.

New friends, let's see.

Um...

Well, there's the band kids.

But I play harp,

and that's gonna be really
hard to carry in formation.

Um...

Ooh, what about the bad kids?

They're kinda cool, in, like,
a sketchy, alt kind of way.

The bad kids?

Are you sure you can handle that?

I mean, I toyed with the idea

of hanging with them
for a minute, but...

They smoke.

Yeah, smoking is gross,
but what choice do I have?

Um...

Do you have black eyeliner and
one of those little nose rings

that cartoon bulls have?

We'll do some light styling.

Yeah!

It's too small.

Dude, you should get that
throat thing checked out.

It could be enlarged adenoids.

Yeah, it's actually super dangerous.

It's like a chandelier hanging
in the back of your throat.

If you choke on it, you could die.

Yeah. Well, I was clearing my throat

to get your attention off of whatever
idiotic Jonas Brothers bullshit

you were staring at on your phone.

Jonas Brothers?
-Yeah.

Because I'd like to review our skip.

It's a bit of a dated
reference though, Bowsie.

Although, they got together recently.

They put out a new album.

I did not like it.
-All right.

Clea Kincaid, twenty-four years old,

recent graduate of SCAD.

About six months ago,

she was arrested for cutting the
head off a Confederate statue.

Her first victim...

was General Buford Leslie
Woodlawn in Macon.

She was arrested.

She posted bail.

She skipped her court date

and has been on the lam ever since.

Lamb?
-Lamb of God!

I have taught her something!

Yeah, it's so loud in your room.

Yeah, on the Lamb of God.

I got video from the
night she was arrested.

Have a comment, Clea?

Yeah, I've got a comment.

You get that?

Dang! This lady's a badass.

She's a very good dancer.

Okay, and she's continued
beheading statues

while she's on the loose.

For the last three weeks,

she's hit a different
statue every single night.

So, it's our job to figure out
which one she's gonna hit next,

and arrest her in the act.

Shouldn't be too hard.

I mean, how many Confederate
statues can there be in Atlanta?

One hundred and seventy four.

Dang!
-Dang! They know the South lost, right?

It is so weird what
people get nostalgic for.

"Weird", "racist."
Whatever you want to call it.

Exactly. Bowser, how can you
want to arrest this woman?

Don't you support what she's doing?

You know... for black people.

She's a skip.

I don't see black or white.

All right? My motto is,

"You take the assignment,
you bring in the fugitive."

Your motto is, "The road to
Heaven is paved with sprinkles."

That's my yogurt motto!
I'm talking about my bounty motto.

Sterl, you can't be on
board with this, right?

You know, I'm having a
really rough time lately

and bounty hunting is the one thing
that actually makes sense to me.

So can we please just do our job?

Fine.

But I'm not gonna cuff her.

And I'm bringing a snack
for her ride to jail.

Something... Sour Patch.

Last night's statue was here.

General Tobias Xavier Mulch.

Hey, I know that statue.

It's right near Franklin High.

That's where Sterling debated
Tammy Rutledge so hard

she got her period.

Well, technically, I lost due to points,

but I count Tammy getting a
stress-induced menstruation as a win.

So...
-I got it.

What you got?

I see a pattern.

It's a penis.

Oh, God, I think we're gonna
need outside help for this.

You know, our dad gets mailers

from the Confederate Historical
Society here in town.

They sponsor his Civil
War Reenactment League.

See, that's why I keep you guys around.

Wait, she's right. Look, the little
traffic thingies are testicles.

But there are three thingies.

Yeah, some people have three.

Remember... what was his name?

Dwight, no...
-Declan Wright.

Declan Wright, and he
went horseback riding

and one of his balls split in half?

My gosh, he was in my
second semester study hall.

Why was a senior in your study hall?

Because I dropped
Chorus second semester,

so it ended up putting
me at a weird time

in study hall time.
-I remember that.

And then I ended up getting
to sit with the seniors,

which was really cool, because that's
how I met that blue-eyed guy...

So, tell me what you like better.

Should I get one of those tattoos
that goes across your stomach

and says something like, "Freedom",

or should I cut my hair and do,
like, a mohawk with bangs?

I don't know. What do you think?
-What has gotten into you?

I've been reborn a single lady

and I want to show it.

Now that I've unbuckled myself from
"Jennings, the human speed bump",

I feel free.

Free to meet somebody interesting.

And dangerous.

Someone who will, like,
get jealous and stalk me.

And maybe break in our house

in the middle of the night
and watch me sleep.

And I realize, as I'm saying
this, this is a bad idea.

I'm just saying I want to meet
somebody interesting and cool.

Bazinga!
-Not a total dork.

Oh, Blair. Blair, hey.

Me?
-Yeah.

Oh, hey.
-Hey. Um...

So, you know, I just wanted to follow up

on our text message exchange.

You know?

Our... Our date.

I'm sorry, I've been so busy.

There was a Blood Moon.

Plus, you know, the economy.

So... Oh.
-Well, no, that's okay.

Um... Because I'm free whenever
you're ready to get together.

We're together right now.

So, in a way, legally,
we're already on that date.

I am such a third wheel.

I'm gonna let you two lovebirds
be alone, and then I'll...

Okay, but no, you know, like a date.

It's when you go out with
food, and music and stuff.

Um... Sure. Yeah.

Food and music.

Yeah?
-I'll... I'll text you.

Okay.

See you.

I'll see ya.

God, he's awkward.

Come on, he's sweet.

Sweet is not my type.

Girls, where have you been?

You know how particular your
grandparents are about punctuality.

Okay. Now you are to be
on your best behavior.

Do you understand?
-Why?

Well, um...

Your father is asking Big
Daddy for a promotion

and it's very important.

So Sterling, do not play
with your cuticles.

You know your grandmother hates that.

Blair... no politics.

During this lunch,
climate change is not real.

Um...
-Shh.

Smile. Smile.

Shoulders back.

Your bisque, sir.

Oh, dear.

Mmm.

Big Daddy, Mother, did y'all hear?

Sterling was chosen
Fellowship Leader this year.

Oh, that's wonderful, sweetie!
-Congratulations, darling!

What an honor!
-That's just terrific!

Thank you. It's no big deal, really.

I don't even really like
talking about it that much...

No. She's so modest.

Oh, Debbie, I've been
meaning to ask you.

How are your parents doing?

Uh... Well, they're dead, Mother.

Remember they died in
that private plane crash

when I was a teenager?

Oh, how silly of me.

I just can't get my head
around them doing that.

You see, we Wesleys, we live.

That's our thing.

Well, tell me,

how do you two like living
out at the lake house?

Oh, we quite enjoy
being out of the city,

what with all of its noise
and bustle and diversity.

I'm happiest in my hunting blind

with a box of hollow-points
and a flask of Buffalo Trace.

You know, since you've been out
of the office so much, Big Daddy,

I've been stepping up,
bringing in some big clients...

Yeah, I got a new gun, too.

But I read an article in Bullet and Bow

about how you can sneak up on the deer

and kill them execution style.

Probably takes some getting used to,

like switching putters.

To be honest... I...

I've been bringing in even
more business than Deacon has.

Mm-hm. Yeah, I think he's even
getting jealous of his little brother.

With all the work that Anderson
has been doing for the company,

pretty soon you're gonna
have to change the name

from, "Wesley and Son"
to "Wesley and Sons."

Plural. Like making Anderson a partner.

I don't know how anybody can
talk about work these days

with that lunatic running
around decapitating statues.

Desecrating our proud Southern legacy.

Don't do it.
-I have to! For America!

Blair, no. You heard Mom. Stop it!

I can't. I can't help it.

It's like a sneeze. Here it comes!

I think what that woman is doing

is a brave political statement.

And I, for one, applaud her.

If y'all will excuse me,

I believe I will enjoy my
bisque on the veranda.

Dang!

Look at this place.

Looks like a jerk-off booth
for the Dukes of Hazzard.

Well, hello there.

Oh, what a wonderful sight,

to see two young people still dress up

to come celebrate their
rich heritage as...

Oh... Okay, look,
if y'all are protestors,

you need to stay at least five
hundred feet from the front door.

We're not protestors.
I'm a bounty hunter.

I'm trying to track down the woman
who's decapitating those statues

so I can arrest her.
-Oh.

Well, I'm surprised,

but I'm delighted to hear that.
-All right.

I must say this whole
Ben Carson experiment

is working out after all.

Um, we'd like to speak
to one of the Sisters

of the Confederacy, please.

Well, you got one right here.

Sister Jim, at your service.

Aren't sisters usually women?

Ah, that's an antiquated
way of thinking.

It's 2020! Men can be women,
women can be governors,

but not in Georgia, yet, thank God.

Anyhow, how can I help y'all?

I'm telling you, I've looked
at this thing a hundred ways

and I can't figure out
any rhyme or reason

to which statues this woman is hitting.

It's not chronological,
it's not alphabetical...

Could it be phallic-al?

Okay, enough with the "phallic-al".

What's this... emblem right here?

Oh. Oh, that's a commemorative emblem

for those who fought in the
Battle of Peachtree Creek.

Huge victory for us!

Yeah. Yeah, I've seen that
emblem before somewhere.

Where... There! Right here.

This guy. He fought in the same battle?

Gosh, maybe all these soldiers
fought at Peachtree Creek.

He's right, they did.

Oh, my God, did we just solve a mystery?

Oh, my God! We're like Nancy Drew!

Hey! Hey! Hey, come on!

What's happ...? Easy, Sister.
Come on, Sister.

Wait... Wait, there's
one that isn't listed

in the Battle of Peachtree Creek.

General Horace Grover Winfield.
-Well, that's right.

Winfield's regiment would
have been occupied

in the Siege of Petersburg
in July of '64.

It's gotta be a mistake.

Maybe the list is wrong
or maybe Clea messed up

and she thought Winfield fought
at this battle, and he didn't.

It's too close not to be it.

It's gotta be Peachtree Creek.

We need to figure out who
else fought in that battle

that has a statue somewhere near the...
-Rutherford Quincy Thigpen,

born 1830, died 1863 when he...

His statue was erected in
1919 in Bellwood Park.

Ew.

Erected.
-Ew.

Ew.

It's so gross.

It says it right there.
-I know.

All right, so that's it,

Bellwood Park.
-Bellwood Park!

That's it.
-Okay.

'Sup?

Mind if I hang?

Shouldn't you be hanging
out with your God gang?

Oh, I got kicked out.

What for?

Intercourse, ever heard of it?

Uh, I'm in the market for a new crew.

What are you guys into?

Satanic temple.

So, like... devil worshipping and stuff?

Even better. We promote egalitarianism,

social justice and the separation
of church and state.

Uh...

Through like, potions and hellfire

and, um...

Lamb of God. My sister loves them.

No, through altruism.

Performance art, member gatherings
and community outreach.

This is an after-school program

we run every day for
the middle school kids.

We're actually looking
for some volunteers,

if you want to sign up.

Oh, wow, that's a lot.

You know, I might have
some potential conflicts,

but I will let you know.

Well, we have weekend events, too.

We're doing a car wash
for Lupus this Sunday.

There's an extra goat torso
if you're interested.

It comes with little horns.

The life of a bad kid is so demanding.

Separating churches from their states...

washing cars and...
-Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

I am so upset.

I just wish this whole
thing had never happened.

That you never had sex with Luke?

No, no. Luke and I are in love,

and I'm right with my God.

I just...

I wish that I'd never
admitted it in Fellowship,

because those judgmental jerks

view making love with
your long-term boyfriend

on the same level as, like, mass murder.

I'm basically the Hillside Strangler.

You're a good person.

You cried last week when you
stepped on that roly poly.

Well, he was just living his life.

Yeah.

I'll find my people.

Yeah.
-Yeah.

And what about you?

What about me?

Um, why are you bringing
Miles to Bargain Hole?

I want this to feel as little
like a date as possible

while still meeting the technical
parameters of a date.

There's food and there's music.

Also, I really want to price one
of those leather recliners.

I saw a picture of a
cat curled up on one

and she looked so comfortable.

Cool. Okay.

Are you sure that you don't
want to, like, go home

and change and shower though?

You smell like the inside of a leg cast.
-Ooh.

Nah, I'm good.
-Okay.

Okay.

Oh, God.
-You can do it.

Love you!

Hey.

Hot... Hey.

Hey, to you. And to yours.

I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood.

I thought tonight was
supposed to be our date.

It... It is.

That's why I wanted to bring you

somewhere really special to me,

where I've had some of
my happiest memories.

And I wore an outfit

that says a lot about me as a woman.

And a goalie.
-Yeah.

You look great. I love your outfit!

This? I just threw this on.

Came straight from the metal shop.

I'm in the middle of welding
this copper monocle

for a Steampunk rave I'm
DJing in Castleberry Hill.

So...

Let's go get some food,

and then we can... uh, check out the...

uh... Oh, the knife sharpening station,

because I... I, like, love danger.

Cool. Yeah.
-Cool, yeah.

Mm.

Mm.

More tea?
-Thank you, sure.

Now, are you sure that you and
Big Daddy won't stay for dinner?

You know, I'm roasting a chicken.
-Oh, is that what that smell is?

I thought maybe an owl got
stuck in the bug zapper.

Ah.

How was wood chopping?

Anderson still doesn't know
how to hold an ax like a man.

So, I told him to stop.

We'll try it again in a few months.

I... I think we should be
gettin' back to the hotel.

Uh, are you sure y'all
won't stay here with us?

We have so much room.

Oh, honey, we don't want to be a bother.

And besides, you have so much
housework you obviously need to do.

Then we'll see you tomorrow at brunch.

Bye, now.

See y'all tomorrow!

Well, Anderson, what did he say?

He didn't say much.

Well, he said I hold
an ax like a penguin.

And then he called me a
penguin for a while.

And then he just shortened
that to "Guin",

and then he stumbled
into "Gwyneth Paltrow."

He seemed to enjoy that.

No, no, no, what did he say
about making you partner?

Oh. Um...

He never brought it up.

He never brought it up?
-Mm-mm.

Wha... You're supposed to bring it up.

You know full well Big Daddy
isn't gonna bring it up himself.

Now's not the right time.

They'll be back at Christmas,

and he's always high
on the Lord's birth.

I'll ask him then.

Christmas? Honey, why will you not
just take the bull by the horns?

It's like I care about
this more than you do!

It is like you care about
it more than I do and...

Why is that?

I mean, it's not like we need the money.

Unless there's something I don't know.

I...

I just wish that you...

would stand up for yourself.

Huh?

What happened to the man that I married?

He wasn't afraid of anything.

I miss that man.

Oh, how's your Ensure?

It's... plain.

Yeah, good, right?

My dad drinks wine like this...

Yeah.

Hi. Two taquitos, please.

Sorry, I just gave out my last one.

Uh... Do you think you could
just heat up some more?

We've been waiting in line.

Okay, that's... Yeah, that's no worries.

I'm taking the crumb napkin.

You're gonna take the crumb napkin?
-Yeah, because it just...

Oh, my God, it looks so delicious.

Thank you, so much.

Have a blessed day.

Come on. Let's dine on
the patio, shall we?

So this is nice.

So, what kind of music do you listen to?

I've been listening to a lot
of Linqua Franqa, Lil Keed.

Yeah, the new Thouxanbanfauni?
It's dope.

Thou-zan...

Thouxanbanfauni.
-Hi, there.

Interested in the Vera
Cruz seven-piece, I see?

Do you mind? We're on a date right now.

A date?

At... Bargain Hole?

Wow.

Actually... um, I gotta get going.

Going? Where?

It's early. We should catch
a flick in the TV section.

I think Zootopia just started.

I promised my sister I'd come
to this party she's having.

Oh, a party. Perfect!
I'll come with you.

Oh. Uh...

Actually, I just had this great idea.

I'll change first and meet you there.

Okay. Yeah.
-Okay, um... text me the addy.

... and the football team
already had tryouts.

And I can't do cross country

because running makes
me carsick, you know?

And soccer's just for French people.

This is hopeless.

Without a team to be a part of,

my life literally,
literally has no purpose.

Hey, we're Team SterLuke.

Hey, I thought I wasn't supposed
to pick you up for another hour.

Get over here now and pick me up!

What's wrong? Did Miles
do something creepy?

No, worse! He's hot!

What? What's the problem,
then? I don't understand.

Just... stop asking
questions, there's no time.

We're going to a college party with him.

So, just get over here, stat!

A college party?

Wait a minute, that's perfect!

That's who I should be hanging
out with, college kids!

Everybody here is either too
intense or too immature.

I need friends who are, like...

Just get the hell over
here and pick me up!

Miles is hot!

I repeat... Miles is hot!

Okay.

I gotta go, babe. Blair needs me.

You gonna be okay?

Wait, what? You going
to a college party?

Someone's hot at a college party?

I'll be fine.

We, uh... have this space reserved.

Oh.

Uh...

You all right, bud?

Uh, actually, no.

Not really.

If you got the blues.

You know what to do with 'em, don't ya?

Wow, college kids!

Philosophical, deep, no boundaries.

Why didn't I think of this sooner?

These are my people!

Shh.

Hey.

Dude, I'm trying to make
Miles think that I'm cool.

Can we just... be chill?

Oh, hey, take my photo.
I want to put it in my story

so that everyone can see me partying

with my cool, new college friends.

Drinking is bad, Sterl.

Yeah, well, so is icing out your peer

for enjoying pleasures of the flesh.

Take the photo.
-Okay.

I mean, if you're gonna
do it, just go for it.

That looks really fake.

Like, put it to your lips.
-Okay.

Ooh.
-Oh.

Oh, no, a little got in my
mouth. What do I do?

Water?
-Wait, this tastes pretty good.

Why does everybody say that
alcohol tastes like poison?

It does not taste like that.

Does poison taste like cherry?

All right, we only have two hours

before we have to go meet Bowser.

I'm gonna go find Miles.

Okay. I'll be chill.

It's time for the Blair Show, baby.

Sterling Wesley, how the heck are ya?

Hey.

Mm-hm.

All right.

Prepare to have your ass kicked, fruit.

Freeze!

Oh. Damn it, you made
me pee on my watch.

Sister Jim?

What the hell are you doing here?
-Same as you, Bowser.

Making sure we catch our bandit.

Figured you need some help.

Come on, we're cooking up some sausages

on the engine of my Chevy.

Did you say "we"?

What do you mean, "we"?

Y'all, this is the bounty hunter
I was telling you about, Bowser.

Bowser, this is Sister Rick, Sister Todd

and that there is Sister Ned.

Sister Ned just got released
on parole this afternoon.

Spent a year in prison
on a felony charge.

Oh, yeah? Which one?

Indecent exposure.

Whipped my johnson out

at a Kid Rock concert
over at the Speedway.

I was asking which prison,

but... good to know.

Damn excited for tonight.

We gonna get her, ain't we?

No. No. No.

We're not gonna "get her."

Uh... I'm gonna arrest her and
deliver her back to the court.

Yeah.

That's right. We gonna get her.

We gonna get her good!
-Yeah.

You know, I almost dated
a black woman once,

but every time I asked
her out, she said no.

Really? I'm shocked.

Yeah. Hey, would you guys
excuse me for a moment?

I'm gonna take a walk
and look at the statue.

All right?

Get away from you
backwoods, dick-waving,

engine-block-sausage-eating
motherfuckers.

What have we got here?

All right, shoot already.

Whoo!

So good!

You should try it. Look.

You know, I heard Michelle
Alexander talk about that.

She called the private prison industry

"this hungry beast with
an insatiable appetite."

Wow.

Look at Tonya's little brother going
to Michelle Alexander lectures.

Next time, you should
bring me as your date.

This college chick is trying
to lure Miles away from me

with her extra-ass college smart talk.

What should I do?

Well, you know...
ladies do... but I said,

"Sixty bucks and get off my property."

What?

Um... Yeah. Speaking of our
broken criminal justice system,

I'm thinking about writing a thes... is

about the, um, decapitated statue case?

I really respect Clea Kincaid.

She is so brave.

That's something we can all agree on.

Oh, can we?

Can we... all agree?

Um...

Yes?

So, we're all supposed to,
uh, have the same opinion

because we're black?
-What? No.

Because she's taking a stance
against symbols of hate.

Yeah, uh, first of all,

tearing down those statues hurts us.
-Why?

Who do you think's tax dollars are
gonna be diverted to pay for 'em?

They're not gonna fix them.

Because you already know
some right-wing faction's

gonna fight to have them repaired.

Don't think it's not already happening.

Secondly, I believe those
statues have to stay up

as a reminder of the
atrocities committed.

It's like the greatest
drunk text of all time.

You just can't take that
shit down from the cloud.

Those statues need to
stay there, forever.

Oh, my God, so you're saying

you actually side with the people

who want to catch Clea
and put her in jail

for her political statement?

No, I don't side with them!

Well...
-See, that's your problem.

You think everything's
black and white...

right and wrong, column A, column B.

A guy who's worthy of your time

or a loser who parks cars.

What? That is not true.

Okay, maybe I didn't pick
the best spot for a date.

Sorry!
-Don't be too hard on yourself.

Those little taquito crumbs

and the vanilla osteoporosis supplement,

wasn't all that bad.

See, just be real with me...

for a second.

You didn't want to date me.

You could've just said that.

Okay, first of all, it is not my fault
that those taquitos ran out.

It's a numbers game.

You know that. And second of all...

Hey! I got it! I got it!

The next statue Clea's
gonna hit is the...

Nice!

Listen to me...

Um, can you please direct
your words towards the sky,

because your puke breath
smells like pizza jello.

It's not Peachtree Creek that
ties the statues together,

it's schools. They're all near schools.

Come on, we gotta tell Bowser.
-Okay, call him.

All right.

What are you talking about schools?

The statue Clea hit last night

was right opposite Franklin High School,

and the one she hit the night before

was right opposite...
um, Maxwell Junior High.

That's where Blair had
that cross country meet

and she found that toe.

Um, no, it wasn't a toe.
It had a hangnail.

No, think about it, Bowser.

That's why Horace Grover Winfield
doesn't fit in with the others.

He wasn't in the Battle
of Peachtree Creek,

but his statue was right
opposite Clayton Elementary.

So, which one is she gonna hit?

Corporal Reginald Samantha Culbertson,

right opposite Split Rock Elementary.

It's the last statue within a
mile of a school left in Atlanta.

All right, good.

I'll meet you there, then.

Meet who where?

Hey. I'm just going to
meet a friend, that's all.

You wouldn't be heading
off without us, would ya?

I mean, you don't want to go
find this lady on your own?

She might get away.

You don't want that. Do ya?

No!

He's running!

Saddle up, Sisters!

Get the sausages off the engine!

Move it! Watch your fingers!

You ride shotgun! Let's roll!

Aw, hell!

Ah.

Clea Kincaid! Freeze!

I'm a Bail Enforcement Agent.

Get down off of there and
put that grinder away.

How about I shove it up your ass?

Now, how'd you know I was into that?

Put your hands behind
your back, smartass.

You put your hands behind
your back, motherfucker.

I'm taking this bronze bitch's head off

and ain't a damn thing
you can do about it.

Oh, my God. She's the coolest
person I've ever seen in real life.

Look, kind of a lot of
planning went into all this.

So I need to complete
what I started, okay?

Come on, Bowser. Let her go.

This is my job, it's not a hobby.

We're seeing this through.

I'm arresting Henrietta the Eighth here

and turning her in to the court.

But...

I guess there's no extra harm

in letting you finish cutting
off this dude's head

before I take you in.

Yeah.

Thanks, I appreciate that.

Hey, Clea,

just one question...

Um, why schools?

Because I didn't like that every day,

kids were literally looking up
to men who loved owning people.

Fuck that!

And I don't know if you guys noticed,

but the statues are in
the pattern of a penis,

which is a subtle nod to
institutional patriarchy.

Told ya!

All right.

Hey. Hurry up and finish up your work

so we can take you in.

Will do.

So, you do believe in what she's doing?

I never said I didn't.

What's happening?

I'm good. I'm good.

You good?

Don't...
-Hey.

Well, we just cannot thank you
enough for brunch, Debbie.

And what an unforgettable
attempt at eggs.

Well... I suppose that's it, then.

We'll see y'all at Christmas.

I can't wait to see what sort of
bamboo diffuser I'll get this year.

Mm.

You know what, Big Daddy?

I got something to say.

For years you've been
underestimating me,

making me feel small and insignificant.

Well, I've got news for you.

I have been one of the
biggest contributors

to the family business,

and I refuse to go on
getting ignored by you.

So, I quit.

Wait, what?

Well, I have to say,
I'm disappointed to hear that.

I'd hoped to fully retire this year,

and then you and Deacon
would carry on my legacy.

You can take your legacy and stick it...

Kent.

Mother...

From now on, if you don't have
anything nice to say to my wife,

then don't say anything at
all, if that's okay with you.

Well, I... But...
-Come on, Mother.

Let's go.

You just got your husband
back, sugar snap.

You'll have to wait on the
next valet to get back.

My shift just ended.

Oh, no, I'm not here to go to the club.

Um... I'm here to pick you up...

for our real date.

Oh, come on.

Give me another chance.

In my defense, I did
not know you were hot.

You're always wearing
this dork disguise, so...

You think I'm hot?

Let's go, hop in!

She thinks I'm hot.

Oh, yeah, I listen to industrial
alternative electronic metal.

All right.

Well, I guess I'm just destined
to walk the world alone.

Oh, stop it.
-You're not alone. You have me.

I'll always be there for you.

Thank you.
-Oh, that's Miles. Hey, Miles.

She's here.

Sterling, we saw your Instagram
story. You poor thing.

Drinking... at a party...
with college kids!

You, like, totally hit rock bottom.

It wasn't that big a deal.
I mean, I puked, but...

Well, I'm fine now, so...

Praise the Lord.

How did you bounce back so quickly?

Um...

Through the power of Christ?

Well...

only when things are darkest can
the Lord's light truly be seen.

You know that feeling you get
when you've sinned so hard

that there's just no
repentance great enough?

No.

Oh, right, only I know what it's like

to have been shepherded
back from the other side

by the Lord, Himself.

How would I describe that?

Um...

When you feel the Lord's hand in yours,

warm and calloused...

there's really nothing like it.
It's a beautiful, beautiful thing...

... warm... calloused...

Oh. Girl, I'm just gonna
stay here with you.

You ever read about...

It's really similar to that.

So, should we go ahead and
cancel the grief counselor?

I think we could still
get our deposit back.

Yes, Hannah B...

cancel the grief counselor.

... they land facing the right way

and then you have to drink
all of the liquid inside it.

And that's what got me, friends.
That's what got me.

Je... Mom!

Drinking...

at a college party.

Uh, no, Mom. I was just making a joke...

on... on social media.

Like, a commentary on our times.

You know, like memes and, um...

Uh...

Sterling, if you want
to live under this roof

then you live under our rules.

And one of our rules is, no drinking.

So, I guess you're not living
under our roof, are you?

I'm going out in the yard,
practice my woodchopping.

What?

Now?

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