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1
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www.titlovi.com
2
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Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
3
00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:58,641
What? I didn't hear my alarm go off.
-That's 'cause it's only 6:23.
4
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,769
Oh, give me my seven more minutes,
5
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,145
for the love of the Lord.
-No!
6
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,938
I can't wait to tell you any longer.
7
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:05,857
Oh, no. Did someone die?
8
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,126
Please, don't let anyone be dead.
9
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,360
No one died, except my former child-self,
10
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,321
who was murdered by sex!
11
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:13,782
Miles and I had sex last night.
12
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:17,786
You've been waiting
for so long for this moment.
13
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:19,472
I don't even know
what you're gonna obsess over now.
14
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:20,330
Hey, shut up!
15
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,165
Well, tell me everything. How was it?
16
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:24,876
Okay, the first time was really slow,
17
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,337
and romantic, and sweet, and gentle.
18
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,380
Wait. The first time?
19
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:30,673
Yes. And then the third time
20
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,842
was really
this just surprised continuation
21
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,177
of the end of the second time,
22
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:37,055
but the fourth time was the best time.
23
00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:39,682
You had sex four times in one night?
24
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:40,600
Mm-hm.
25
00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:43,311
I didn't know that was possible.
Why was the fourth time the best?
26
00:01:43,394 --> 00:01:45,688
Because that was the time I had an orgasm
27
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,899
while he was inside of me.
28
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:49,734
I had a sex-gasm.
29
00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:52,070
You did?
-Yes!
30
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:56,282
And it was, like, so different
than when I do it to myself, you know?
31
00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,034
But it was also different than when.
32
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,786
Miles made it happen with other stuff.
33
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,749
I can't really explain it.
It was, like, deeper.
34
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,791
I saw fireworks or, like, fire dancers.
35
00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:06,960
People eating fire. I don't know.
36
00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:09,710
What did you see the
first time you came with Luke?
37
00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:11,755
Oh. Um...
38
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,008
Like, balls of fire and God.
39
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,969
He asked about Chloe, he's so nice.
40
00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:18,011
Cool.
41
00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:20,974
I'm sorry that I asked about Luke.
42
00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:22,432
Are you doing okay?
43
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:23,726
Oh, better than him.
44
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:29,149
Oh, my God, 27 text messages.
45
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:30,232
Poor guy.
46
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,862
Actually, props for his Bitmoji.
It's, like, really accurate.
47
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:35,655
I don't know what to say. You know?
48
00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:38,116
Like... I don't want him to hurt,
49
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:42,036
but I'm not actually feeling sad about it.
50
00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:44,414
And I'm trying to. Like...
51
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:47,208
Like, last night,
I watched a really serious movie
52
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,501
to try and make myself cry
53
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,479
and I just ended up
feeling really smart and happy
54
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:51,379
because it had subtitles.
55
00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:54,262
You never could have watched
that with Luke. He reads so slow.
56
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:56,676
I know he's, like,
"Why would I read a movie?
57
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,052
I don't drink meatloaf."
58
00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,446
I think you made the right choice.
59
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:00,698
You deserve to be with somebody
60
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,807
who makes you feel
the way Miles makes me feel.
61
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:03,892
And how is that?
62
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:06,186
Like a grown-ass woman.
63
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,086
Jugo de Naranja?
64
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,672
I went shopping
down at that Mexican market.
65
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,508
I think we all need to learn
to broaden our taste buds.
66
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,112
Mmm.
67
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,138
Okay, fine.
68
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:44,724
Girls...
69
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:47,648
...we're going to have to cut
some corners now.
70
00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:48,728
Now that what?
71
00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,021
Now that I'm unemployed.
72
00:03:50,104 --> 00:03:52,333
Your mother's pretty disappointed
about that, if you hadn't noticed.
73
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,234
Well, I'm not disappointed, honey.
74
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:56,653
I... I want whatever makes you happiest.
75
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,906
Which, apparently,
is hunting deer on a weekday.
76
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,750
It could be dinner.
Besides, it's been nice to relax a bit.
77
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:03,826
Clear my mind.
78
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:06,037
Think about what I want to do next.
79
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:08,164
Please don't leave me, honey.
80
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:10,541
Promise me you won't.
81
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:15,129
Promise me, baby.
82
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:16,923
Promise me, please, promise.
83
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:19,259
Yeah. I promise. That's enough.
84
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,264
Anyway, Sterling's debate championship
is tomorrow.
85
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,347
Exciting, right?
86
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,391
Very exciting.
87
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:28,142
I wish you'd let your father and me come.
88
00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,353
I'm sorry, Mom.
It's just, this one's a really big one
89
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,313
and I don't want to panic and fold.
90
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,691
And having you there
would only stress me out more.
91
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,693
Your mother's always had
that effect on people.
92
00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:45,076
Wow. Mm.
93
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:46,160
I wa...
94
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,920
Uh, wow.
95
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,214
Mom and Dad
are both on their periods, it seems like.
96
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,509
Did you know that guys
can get their periods, too?
97
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:02,510
Like, hormonally?
98
00:05:02,593 --> 00:05:04,095
Of course I knew that.
99
00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:05,346
I know a lot of things.
100
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,517
And... I know a lot of things
that you don't know.
101
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,604
Sex has made you
a little bit insufferable.
102
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,524
Listen up, forensics warriors.
103
00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:18,151
As you know by now,
104
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:21,404
Willingham is hosting
the citywide tournament tomorrow,
105
00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:23,276
and we're going to do what?
106
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,368
Win!
-Oh.
107
00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:29,329
Now, "Winning isn't everything."
108
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,873
Said no one in this room, right?
109
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:39,464
Miss Johnson has graciously
volunteered to assist us.
110
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,382
I assume you have debate experience?
111
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,383
Oh, yes, sir.
112
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,970
Oh, my mail person
was leaving things behind my planter,
113
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,638
so I said, "Excuse me.
114
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:49,891
Could you please put my stuff in my slot?
115
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:52,685
Because we have gophers
and we have robbers."
116
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:54,496
And so we had
this whole little back and forth.
117
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,813
Oh, but now guess what?
118
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,273
She does what I ask.
119
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,233
On... On most days.
120
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:04,864
Well, I can assure us all
that I know how to win a point
121
00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:06,074
and let me tell you,
122
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,326
as the school's
first white female captain,
123
00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:10,203
I am honored to lead you.
124
00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:13,289
I miss Linda Chatterjee's grace
and unflappable cheer.
125
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,085
I miss her too,
126
00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:21,381
but she has taken her formidable brain
127
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:24,008
and remarkably large overbite
128
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,761
to the leftist coast at Stanford.
-Hm.
129
00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:30,598
So, with the Lord's help,
we will soldier through.
130
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:35,603
I've prepared dossiers
on every school's forensics captain,
131
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:39,190
including this year's defending champion,
Craig Wu.
132
00:06:39,273 --> 00:06:40,108
Ooh.
133
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:43,152
The dossiers include:
Strengths, weaknesses,
134
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,071
marital status of the parents
135
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:49,283
and yes, perceived hotness
at their respective schools.
136
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:53,079
All of us need to be on point tomorrow.
137
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:56,791
We don't want any
screw-ups like last year.
138
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:02,588
Therefore, federal funding
for transportation infrastructure
139
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,674
should not be guaranteed.
140
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,635
Isn't improving ports
the most federal of responsibilities?
141
00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:09,278
Federal government investment is needed
142
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:11,931
to maintain the US as a world leader
in global commerce.
143
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,936
You make a great point.
144
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,272
Don't worry, Wesley.
145
00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:21,357
Tomorrow's a new day,
so go get some sleep.
146
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:25,403
And all of you, if you come in here
looking bleary-eyed,
147
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:28,281
I will pin you down and�Visine you myself.
148
00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:40,251
Girls, try to remember
that you're on the same team.
149
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,545
You used to be so close.
150
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,172
I'm sure you can find that again.
151
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:45,423
Just try.
152
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:49,343
Coach, I was thinking about
bringing muffins to the other teams.
153
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,762
I was thinking,
would you want to go in halfsies or...
154
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,808
We used to be on the same page,
like, all the time.
155
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:57,601
Did we?
156
00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,061
Maybe I blocked it out.
157
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:00,854
Come on.
158
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:04,150
Remember in fifth grade
when we convinced Mrs. Willis
159
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,294
that we should have a lesson
160
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:08,112
on the cultural significance
of the "Bad Blood" music video?
161
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:11,782
Till that rat-faced Marcy Browning
reminded her of our quiz.
162
00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,242
She was the worst.
163
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,619
Total narc.
164
00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:20,625
At least I still got 100 on that quiz.
165
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:24,086
I got 95
because I spelled Quakers with a "C".
166
00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:26,547
"Quackers".
167
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,382
It drove me crazy for, like, a month.
168
00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,241
We need to be
on each other's sides to win,
169
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,399
but after tomorrow, it's back to normal.
170
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:47,610
I.e., me knowing that you're fake
171
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:50,988
and being the only person in school
who can see it.
172
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,583
Did you know that the French
call the moment of orgasm.
173
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:03,751
"The Little Death"?
174
00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:06,629
Do you think cumming is like dying?
175
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,173
If it is, then I'm like a cat
with nine lives,
176
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,801
and I just used a big one.
177
00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:14,262
But I'm gonna need, like, 9.000 lives
178
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:17,056
if I die a little bit
every time I have a sex orgasm.
179
00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:18,182
Ah, here it is.
180
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,369
Okay. I think we've reached a point
in our relationship
181
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,953
where I would like stronger boundaries.
182
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,164
The next time Miles and I have sex
I'm going to be, like...
183
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,000
And then I'm gonna flip him over
184
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,068
and I'm gonna be like bam! Bam! Bam!
185
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,529
And then he's gonna be, like...
186
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:34,049
And then I'm going to do this thing
with my hips that I read about,
187
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,741
and he's gonna be, like,
188
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,368
Okay, I don't wanna hear anymore.
189
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:38,804
Wait, I'm just getting to the best part.
190
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,681
Then I'm gonna grab his neck
and I'm gonna pull...
191
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:41,705
Stop it!
192
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,040
Dude, what's up?
193
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,459
I lied, I've never had
an orgasm with Luke! I...
194
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:49,963
Oh, shit.
195
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,260
Oh.
196
00:09:56,178 --> 00:09:58,306
I'm so sorry.
197
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,076
I thought he would have hit the spot,
like, at least once.
198
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,143
You know what they say,
199
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:05,187
"Even a blind squirrel trips over a nut
every once in a while."
200
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,772
We only had sex six times.
201
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:09,358
Um...
202
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,653
Well, sex orgasms are really hard
for a girl.
203
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,740
I mean, did you ever get close
when he was going down on you?
204
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,619
We only did that one time
and, uh, it didn't feel very good.
205
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:22,472
One of the guys on his golf team said
that he should say,
206
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:23,998
"Peanut butter lumberjack",
207
00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:26,792
and he almost suffocated.
208
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,961
Um, why didn't you tell him what to do?
209
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,921
What? You can't talk
during sexual activities.
210
00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,799
What? How else is he supposed to know?
211
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,426
The only reason I came with Miles
212
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:38,804
is because I told him precisely
how it works when I'm alone.
213
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,556
I literally wrote it down on my iPad
214
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,767
and showed him the notes
in between takes, I mean...
215
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,271
Hold on.
216
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:55,988
Did you ever use that vibrator
that I got you?
217
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,075
Or read any of those articles
on self-pleasure?
218
00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:01,786
They were great
stocking stuffers, truly...
219
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:06,540
You've never masturbated.
220
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:08,584
Or had an orgasm.
221
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,043
At all.
222
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,755
No, and don't make fun of me. Or Luke.
223
00:11:13,255 --> 00:11:14,255
We tried.
224
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:15,883
Hey, it's okay.
225
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:17,259
No judgment.
226
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:20,429
It's just...
it's a great use of after-school time
227
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,724
and then also, you get to tell somebody
exactly what it is you like.
228
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:27,228
I would highly recommend doing it yourself
229
00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:28,705
before you go out on the open road.
230
00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:30,147
Who says I'm going to do that?
231
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,942
Why wouldn't you?
The world is your jizz oyster.
232
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,610
Ew.
-Look around you.
233
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,696
You can have any guy you want.
234
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:41,325
I guess I am kind of curious
235
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,411
to see what it's like
to kiss someone else, like...
236
00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:46,497
maybe Darren Boggs?
237
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:47,580
Yes!
238
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,334
Ooh, or Brett McNease.
239
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,211
You could even touch his butt.
240
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,481
If you could get your hands
around that thing.
241
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:55,506
It's a monster.
242
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:57,567
I would never hook up with someone
from school, though,
243
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:58,902
so I can get called a slut again.
244
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:01,220
Mm.
-I mean, me and God are cool.
245
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,641
But the Judgment
of the Willingham student body
246
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:06,892
is a different story.
247
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,231
Hey, who says
he has to be from this school?
248
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,945
You can scroll through Geekster.
249
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:25,536
Hey, he's cute in, like,
a Space Camp kind of way.
250
00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:27,139
Hm.
-Always go for the nerds.
251
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,849
They're the ones
who end up being the most successful.
252
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:31,876
Excuse me!
We plan on making our own money.
253
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,545
Sure, mija, but I don't live
in a zero-sum world.
254
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,215
Money, plus more money,
equals fuck you money.
255
00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:40,239
All right.
-Yes, it does.
256
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,511
Sent out mailers for free yogurt
257
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,764
to our list of low-rent Dekalb skips.
258
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:46,658
How do you know they're going to come?
259
00:12:46,682 --> 00:12:49,143
Trust me, I've done this
a bunch of times in Florida.
260
00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:51,061
Criminals are hungry, stupid people.
261
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,081
That is a hurtful stereotype.
-I'm hungry, and stupid,
262
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:54,440
and I'm not a criminal.
-So...
263
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,193
tomorrow, when they show up
with their bogus coupons,
264
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,652
we arrest them.
265
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,988
And then once we get a good-sized group,
266
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:02,740
we'll load 'em up in here
267
00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:04,200
and off we go to the county jail.
268
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:06,702
Wait, is that tomorrow?
269
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:09,747
I started this out with, "So tomorrow."
Yes, Sterling.
270
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:13,167
Dang it! I thought it was Sunday.
I have my forensics tournament tomorrow.
271
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:16,295
Your forgetfulness
is disappointing but not surprising.
272
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:20,591
So here's who the three of us
will be apprehending.
273
00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,219
This guy is missing four teeth.
274
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,554
Also, he's only worth 100 dollars.
275
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:28,224
Well, you don't need teeth for yogurt.
276
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,683
And yes, only a hundred,
277
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:33,187
but an easy day worth of these folks
is a pretty penny.
278
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:35,415
Speak for yourself.
A hundred for y'all if you bring him in,
279
00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:37,733
if you don't,
that's negative one-thousand for me.
280
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,795
Wow, your business cycle
281
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,987
really relies on Bowser being good
at his job.
282
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,990
That's why my black book
of bounty hunters is very thick.
283
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:48,577
I rely on Bowser,
Terrance, Chuck, Perry D,
284
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,704
Michael, Rojelio, Jorge...
285
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,957
Okay, all right.
286
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,334
Enough naming your boyfriends.
I'm your favorite.
287
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:56,836
Not after this stupid plan.
288
00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,337
Stupid?
-Mm-hm.
289
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:01,048
Instead of wasting whole days
chasing fifty buck skips,
290
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:02,675
they all come to us in one big bunch.
291
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,009
That's genius if you ask me.
292
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:05,427
Oh, Einstein.
293
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,347
Mm-hm. You're just mad
'cause you gotta get your hands dirty.
294
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,473
Please.
295
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:10,933
The old Yolanda used to love that.
296
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,935
Oh, gross.
-Ooh, like how?
297
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:15,396
Wrangling drunks in the club. Mm-hm.
298
00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:18,190
I was a cop, and she was a bouncer.
299
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,067
Yeah.
-That's before she got soft.
300
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:22,987
You should talk, Krispy Kreme.
301
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:25,990
Although, I do endorse this shirt.
302
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:28,200
Oh, you got love for Tommy Bahama, huh?
303
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,911
Well, any place that sells a burger
and a blouse is okay with me.
304
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:35,249
What the actual heck?
305
00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:37,212
She's basically
undressing Bowser with her eyes.
306
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:38,687
I think she was just
complimenting his shirt.
307
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,545
But it's hideous.
308
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:42,381
She obviously wants to get with him,
sex style.
309
00:14:43,173 --> 00:14:45,342
Sex. She wants to have sex with him
310
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:46,570
and we need to clear the way.
311
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,345
But wait, he married her sister,
312
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,680
so if he sleeps with Yolanda,
313
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,199
it's like he's sleeping with his sister.
314
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:53,726
But in reality, Yolanda was already
his former wife's sister
315
00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,287
when they did the dirty the first time,
316
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:57,747
so, technically, they've been doing
an incestuous m�nage a trois
317
00:14:57,771 --> 00:14:58,856
this entire time.
318
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,960
Wow, your brain works really quickly
when it comes to intercourse.
319
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,569
Yeah, it does.
320
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:08,032
Hey Bow-Wow,
I can't attend coupon day either
321
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:11,327
because I have to go support Sterling
and be her good luck charm.
322
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,703
Aw!
323
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:14,204
I always lose in the first round.
324
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:16,040
Yeah, that's because I'm never there.
325
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:20,085
So, I guess you guys are
doing this thing together.
326
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:23,672
Oh, my gosh.
You guys are so cute.
327
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,008
Ohhh.
328
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:28,802
I'll send it to you.
329
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,558
Oh.
330
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,352
Can I borrow this?
331
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,063
Depends. You gonna bring it back?
332
00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:42,483
If the way I borrow Sterling's bras
is any indication,
333
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:43,817
probably in two to three years,
334
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,421
and may be stretched out a little bit.
335
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:47,738
Fine.
-Thank you.
336
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,093
Thanks for coming with me tomorrow.
337
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:54,203
I really wouldn't mind
kicking butt for a change.
338
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:55,286
Don't be weird.
339
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,729
I just said that to give Yolanda
and Bowser time to get busy.
340
00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,809
Really, I'm going to hang out with Miles,
341
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:03,462
make sweet love, and talk about
adult things like the Federal Reserve
342
00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:05,339
or doing laundry.
-Thrilling.
343
00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:07,633
Hey! Hit me as hard as you can.
344
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:09,385
It's designed to stop bullets, not hands.
345
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:11,971
Just pretend that you're an immature
teenage bank robber
346
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:14,890
and I'm a sexy adult
FBI agent trying to stop you.
347
00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:16,558
Okay, fine!
348
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,394
But I'm a grown-ass bank robber
349
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:21,480
with an opioid addiction
and a really tragic backstory.
350
00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:23,607
Wait! Opioid addiction isn't funny.
351
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:26,735
Okay, fine. No addiction, just still
a really tragic backstory, okay?
352
00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:31,115
I can take you. Oh, my God!
353
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,419
Was that Mom?
-I think so!
354
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,480
Did she just see us standing
in front of an RV with bail bonds
355
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,631
and me in a bulletproof vest?
-Looks like it.
356
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:48,632
Holy shit.
357
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,134
Oh, we're so busted!
358
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:52,654
Mom knows we're bounty hunters!
-Mom thinks we're slacking off at work...
359
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:53,887
We're bounty hunters!
360
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:55,472
That's what I was gonna say.
361
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,399
Hey.
-Oh, hey, Mom. Hope you had a great day.
362
00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:06,859
We totally did. We worked so hard.
363
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:10,320
Yeah, which you already know since
you saw us outside the yogurt shop today.
364
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,489
Yeah, you should have stopped and said hi.
365
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:13,407
We would have introduced you
366
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:16,160
to this wonderful, incredible woman
that Bowser knows.
367
00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:18,412
Her name is Yolanda and she's a nun,
368
00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:22,124
and she drives around delivering yogurt
to underserved youth.
369
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,418
She's bailing out hunger.
370
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:26,670
Yeah, while also creating a bond.
371
00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:30,132
You might have also noticed
that new vest that I was sporting.
372
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,843
It's from H&M,
their new Desert Storm collection.
373
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:33,969
What a deal.
374
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,266
Right. Well, yeah,
and I would have stopped myself,
375
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:41,286
but I was having drinks
with the girls across town
376
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,020
and I was in a big hurry.
377
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:45,248
She got a promotion, Sheila did,
so we were celebrating.
378
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:46,857
Anyway... Um...
379
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,821
I know that I've been acting...
stressed out lately,
380
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,991
but I want you both to know
we are all good here.
381
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,993
Okay?
-Okay.
382
00:17:58,202 --> 00:17:59,703
Okay. Come here.
383
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:03,414
Love y'all.
384
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:11,340
She was lying.
385
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:13,425
No, she wasn't. You're so dramatic.
386
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,803
Lack of eye contact,
quickly changing the subject,
387
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,513
and since when does Mom ride in an Uber?
388
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,973
She says that she hates them
because they smell like people.
389
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,227
What does Mom have to lie about?
390
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,646
I don't know,
but she's obviously hiding something.
391
00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:27,249
We just have to figure out what it is.
392
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:28,649
No, we don't.
393
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,110
We both know Mom can be
a bit much sometimes
394
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:33,963
but actually, with all things considered,
she's been pretty cool to me lately,
395
00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:35,757
and I think that she deserves
the benefit of the doubt.
396
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,366
Of course she's been cool to you.
397
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:38,617
You're her favorite.
398
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,202
I don't have that luxury.
399
00:18:40,702 --> 00:18:42,663
I can see her way more clearly
than you can.
400
00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:45,666
You're... a parakeet
living in her gilded cage.
401
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,793
I look nothing like a parakeet.
402
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:50,712
An eagle maybe,
or, like, a really pretty hawk.
403
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,674
Nope. You're a tiny blonde parakeet
404
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,467
and I'm a sexy, wise raven
405
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:58,846
living outside the cage
with no access to bird food or water.
406
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,056
She's up to something.
407
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:02,889
I'm gonna figure out what.
408
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,270
Wow, you are really taking this
"sex-gave-me-X-ray-vision" thing
409
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:07,229
to a whole new level.
410
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,314
It's right there
in front of our faces, Sterl.
411
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,733
Or you're making it up out of boredom,
412
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,443
like that summer the pool shut down
413
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:16,697
and you thought that Mrs. Miller
across the street�was burying a body.
414
00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:19,449
Who gardens at one in the morning?
415
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:20,534
Like, nobody!
416
00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:41,471
Sterling! You look amazing.
417
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:42,907
I know you're gonna do great today.
418
00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:43,931
And I...
419
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,018
I can't.
420
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:48,437
I attempted to picture you
as someone I love and respect,
421
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:49,980
but it's too much work.
422
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:51,833
Even God rested on the seventh day.
-Wu! Wu!
423
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:55,777
Wu! Wu! Wu! Wu! Wu! Wu!
424
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,654
Wu! Wu! Wu!
425
00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,407
There he is. Craig Wu.
426
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:03,577
Last year's champion,
this year's roadkill.
427
00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:06,830
And not the cute kind
where they look like they're sleeping.
428
00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:18,841
Hey.
429
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:27,059
Hey.
-Hey.
430
00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:30,812
Um, I don't know if I could
do this whole Geekster thing.
431
00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:32,981
I mean, I'm excited to explore but I...
432
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,108
But nothing. Just pick one and hop on.
433
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:36,711
Okay. What does that even mean?
434
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,570
It means don't overthink it.
435
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,447
You've never even kissed another guy.
436
00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:41,740
Just experiment.
437
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:43,402
You're in the driver's seat.
438
00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:44,617
What?
439
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,013
Am I just supposed to walk up
to one of these guys
440
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,117
and be, like,
"Hey, do you want to make out with me?"
441
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:52,209
Whoa.
442
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:53,460
Your tongue is scratchy.
443
00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:55,963
Like a cat's.
444
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:58,756
Did you like it?
445
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,509
Yeah, I did.
446
00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,388
Wow. Thank you for broadening my horizons.
447
00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:05,722
Good luck on your debate.
448
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:16,482
Welcome.
449
00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:19,151
Morning.
450
00:21:19,569 --> 00:21:21,863
I'm here for my free yogurt.
451
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:24,467
Do you have your coupon?
-Yes, sir. Got it right here.
452
00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:25,325
Uh-huh.
453
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:28,745
Well, if you just follow me into my office
and fill out some paperwork,
454
00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:30,080
we'll get you your yogurt.
455
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,378
Welcome to the party, my bro.
456
00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:38,880
I'm gonna sue y'all, I really am.
457
00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:42,968
Do I still get the yogurt?
458
00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:45,053
Sure, we'll give it to you
on your way to jail.
459
00:21:48,932 --> 00:21:51,703
I mean, everybody's parents have stuff
they don't want you to know about.
460
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:54,229
Doesn't mean it's all secret,
evil Darth Vader stuff.
461
00:21:54,771 --> 00:21:55,647
Then why hide it?
462
00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:58,608
Look, if she's spending
this much energy lying about it,
463
00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:00,444
it must be serious.
464
00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:01,987
Not necessarily.
465
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:03,279
Take my mom,
466
00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:07,242
the first and only African-American
female senator from our district.
467
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,246
Mm-hm.
-Check it, she doesn't know I know this
468
00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:12,372
but before her last election,
she went to a tanning salon.
469
00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:13,457
What?
470
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:15,959
Her media consultant
said that her skin tone
471
00:22:16,043 --> 00:22:17,753
polls differently in different regions
472
00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:19,338
based on the socio-economic makeup.
473
00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:20,839
I...
-Yeah, I don't know.
474
00:22:20,922 --> 00:22:22,066
She had this big debate coming up.
475
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:24,676
Let's just say she went
from latte to mocha.
476
00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:27,137
By the time we got to�Bankhead,
she was black, no sugar.
477
00:22:27,220 --> 00:22:28,805
No!
478
00:22:30,932 --> 00:22:32,351
Well, hello there, Miles.
479
00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:34,269
I didn't know that you two
were here...
480
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:36,813
alone. Hm.
481
00:22:37,564 --> 00:22:39,167
Seems like I could have gotten
a text about that.
482
00:22:39,191 --> 00:22:42,652
Uh, Dad's out back in the wood shop
whittling ducks.
483
00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:44,237
Good, money right in our pockets.
484
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,656
Well, hello, Miss Wesley.
You look very nice today.
485
00:22:46,740 --> 00:22:48,200
Oh, well, thank you.
486
00:22:48,283 --> 00:22:50,660
You certainly know how to flatter.
487
00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:52,954
You must get that from your mother.
Always campaigning?
488
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,516
You know, I know that your mother
and I have different politics.
489
00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:57,167
Oh, Lord, that straw ban...
490
00:22:57,751 --> 00:23:00,480
Makes it impossible to drink an iced latte
without messing up my lipstick,
491
00:23:00,504 --> 00:23:02,339
but, nonetheless, I am so glad
492
00:23:02,422 --> 00:23:04,674
that Blair can be around
different kinds of people and...
493
00:23:05,509 --> 00:23:08,595
absorb... er... different cultures.
494
00:23:08,678 --> 00:23:11,973
Oh. Uh, yes.
It's such a complete pleasure to be...
495
00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:14,267
black in front of your daughter.
496
00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:18,772
Good.
497
00:23:18,855 --> 00:23:22,526
Um, I'm gonna run out
and go do some errands. And you two?
498
00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:24,569
We're just gonna hang out...
499
00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:27,489
and watch cartoons.
500
00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:28,949
You know, childlike things.
501
00:23:29,032 --> 00:23:31,118
Well, I'll be back in a little bit.
502
00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:33,161
Oh, and, uh...
503
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:38,083
Leave room for Jesus.
504
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:39,251
Yeah.
-Oh.
505
00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:40,334
Got it.
506
00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:43,672
Bye.
507
00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:44,881
Bye!
508
00:23:45,882 --> 00:23:47,008
Let's go.
509
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:48,552
What? Go where?
510
00:23:48,635 --> 00:23:49,678
We're going to follow her.
511
00:23:49,761 --> 00:23:51,906
She's up to something
and I want to figure out what it is.
512
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:53,515
Do we really have to be spies and shit?
513
00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:54,891
I just wanted to kick it.
514
00:23:55,892 --> 00:23:56,892
Think about it this way.
515
00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,146
We actually are spies,
516
00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:01,481
and we're on a super dangerous mission
517
00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:02,983
to bring us closer...
518
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:05,444
and closer.
519
00:24:08,029 --> 00:24:10,782
It is very hard to argue with you.
520
00:24:11,366 --> 00:24:12,451
Mm-hm.
521
00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,997
And you get to absorb
more of my culture on the way.
522
00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:20,000
Please erase that interaction
from your memory.
523
00:24:20,083 --> 00:24:21,793
Mm-mm, no. It's already ingrained.
524
00:24:22,752 --> 00:24:23,752
Please!
525
00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:27,716
Good morning, everyone.
526
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,552
And welcome to Willingham Academy
527
00:24:30,635 --> 00:24:35,223
for the Southeastern Semi-Quarter
Regional Forensics Tournament!
528
00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:40,896
Whoo!
529
00:24:41,438 --> 00:24:42,272
Okay.
530
00:24:42,355 --> 00:24:45,192
Now, today's topic is:
531
00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:48,528
Should governments be held responsible
532
00:24:48,612 --> 00:24:50,280
for economic reparations
533
00:24:50,363 --> 00:24:53,992
for their own country's
historical injustices.
534
00:24:54,117 --> 00:24:56,328
I'm about to text everyone
535
00:24:56,411 --> 00:24:59,080
their first room assignments
and their opponents
536
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:02,417
in tres, dos, unos...
537
00:25:09,382 --> 00:25:11,176
Whoo! Let's debate!
538
00:25:12,427 --> 00:25:14,346
Remember,
you're the affirmative in this round
539
00:25:14,429 --> 00:25:16,431
so affirm that dude's place in hell.
540
00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:18,141
Crusader-style!
-Got it, coach.
541
00:25:19,017 --> 00:25:20,852
I know cross usually trips you up,
542
00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:23,522
but don't focus on the curveball.
543
00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:27,150
Just lean into it. Move when he moves.
544
00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:28,360
Dance with him.
545
00:25:29,277 --> 00:25:30,277
Sweet moves.
546
00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:33,240
Why are you so relaxed?
547
00:25:33,323 --> 00:25:35,951
You're usually crying hysterically by now.
548
00:25:36,034 --> 00:25:39,579
I don't know, just feeling
as chill as a scratchy-tongued cat.
549
00:25:40,664 --> 00:25:41,724
I don't know what that means.
550
00:25:41,748 --> 00:25:42,791
Neither do I.
551
00:25:43,041 --> 00:25:44,041
Just win.
552
00:25:48,838 --> 00:25:49,839
Hello, opponent.
553
00:25:55,470 --> 00:25:57,347
I affirm that government
should be responsible
554
00:25:57,430 --> 00:26:00,767
for economic reparations
for their country's historic injustices.
555
00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:02,602
Throughout our shared global history,
556
00:26:02,686 --> 00:26:05,355
crimes against humanity
have had unintended consequences
557
00:26:05,438 --> 00:26:06,356
that have yet to be remedied...
558
00:26:06,439 --> 00:26:07,583
My opponent has made some valid points,
559
00:26:07,607 --> 00:26:09,734
and sure, in theory,
reparations are great.
560
00:26:10,860 --> 00:26:12,946
But who decides
the definition of an atrocity?
561
00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:14,906
Well, let's start with six million Jews,
562
00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:17,158
fifty million Africans who died
in the Middle Passage,
563
00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:18,882
and the genocide of the American Indians.
564
00:26:19,244 --> 00:26:21,663
Are you saying the nature of these horrors
are up for debate?
565
00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:23,599
No, no, no, no, no,
that's not what I'm saying.
566
00:26:23,623 --> 00:26:26,042
You... You...
You can't debate these kind of...
567
00:26:29,754 --> 00:26:31,089
Time.
568
00:26:40,473 --> 00:26:42,767
I won. I actually made it through
the first round.
569
00:26:42,851 --> 00:26:46,104
Oh. I've never thought I would say this
to you at one of these tournaments,
570
00:26:46,187 --> 00:26:48,148
but congratulations.
571
00:26:48,231 --> 00:26:49,231
Thank you.
572
00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:51,026
Are you on Ritalin or something?
573
00:26:51,109 --> 00:26:53,236
Or did you go up a bra size?
574
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:54,321
No, why?
575
00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:56,546
How are you getting all this confidence?
576
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,162
Just hitting my stride, I guess.
577
00:27:03,079 --> 00:27:04,079
Uh, my dudes.
578
00:27:04,372 --> 00:27:05,725
Could I trouble you for some water?
579
00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:07,876
Yeah, you got to give us water.
580
00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:09,836
Basic human right.
581
00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:11,630
We don't have to do shit. Huh?
582
00:27:11,713 --> 00:27:14,966
You signed your rights away
the day the lovely Miss Yolanda here
583
00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:16,259
generously paid your bond.
584
00:27:16,343 --> 00:27:19,346
We didn't even get any damn yogurt.
585
00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:20,930
And you promised.
586
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:22,932
Well, you promised you wouldn't skip bail.
587
00:27:23,016 --> 00:27:24,100
Do you remember that?
588
00:27:30,982 --> 00:27:32,359
My God!
589
00:27:32,442 --> 00:27:33,526
Yay!
590
00:27:37,405 --> 00:27:39,199
Sterling. Yes!
591
00:27:39,282 --> 00:27:41,552
Many atrocities have proved the need
592
00:27:41,576 --> 00:27:43,411
for just and impartial reparations.
593
00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:45,955
For example, genocide of the Aborigines
594
00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:48,875
is a classic tragedy
of epic proportions...
595
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:54,130
* I put my thing down
Flip it and reverse it *
596
00:27:54,214 --> 00:27:55,840
* Ti esrever dna ti pilf *
597
00:27:55,924 --> 00:27:57,467
I'd just like to congratulate you
598
00:27:57,550 --> 00:27:59,552
on your victory.
-I don't care. Just say words.
599
00:27:59,928 --> 00:28:01,221
British words.
600
00:28:02,138 --> 00:28:05,141
Uh, garage. Privacy. Aluminum.
601
00:28:05,433 --> 00:28:06,434
Ron Weasley.
602
00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:08,645
* Lost a few pounds and my waist for ya *
603
00:28:08,728 --> 00:28:10,647
* This the kinda beat that go ra-ta-ta *
604
00:28:10,730 --> 00:28:12,941
* Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta *
605
00:28:13,024 --> 00:28:15,652
* Sex me so good I say blah-blah-blah *
606
00:28:15,735 --> 00:28:18,029
* Work it, I need a glass of water *
607
00:28:18,113 --> 00:28:20,198
* Boy, oh boy, it's good to know ya *
608
00:28:20,281 --> 00:28:22,367
* Is it worth it? Let me work it *
609
00:28:22,450 --> 00:28:24,703
* I put my thing down
Flip it and reverse it *
610
00:28:24,786 --> 00:28:29,290
* Ti esrever dna ti pilf
Nwod gniht ym tup *
611
00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:31,751
* If you got a big...
Let me search ya *
612
00:28:31,835 --> 00:28:34,504
* And find out how hard I gotta work ya *
613
00:28:35,505 --> 00:28:37,757
How do you feel about
not asking questions, Miss Cathy?
614
00:28:37,841 --> 00:28:39,217
Aye-aye, Cap'n.
615
00:28:41,970 --> 00:28:43,890
* Sdrawkcab ti ekat ot ekil
YssiM yaw eht hctaw *
616
00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:46,283
* I'm not a prostitute
But I could give you what you want *
617
00:28:46,307 --> 00:28:48,393
* I love your braids
And your mouth full of fronts *
618
00:28:48,476 --> 00:28:51,020
...in Rhodesia, by European nations...
619
00:28:51,104 --> 00:28:53,231
* Keep your eyes
On my bum-bum-bum-bum-bum *
620
00:28:53,314 --> 00:28:55,358
* You think you can handle this
Badonka-donk-donk *
621
00:28:55,442 --> 00:28:57,694
Should I... switch hands?
622
00:28:58,069 --> 00:28:59,904
* Is it worth it? Let me work it *
623
00:28:59,988 --> 00:29:02,407
* I put my thing down
Flip it and reverse it *
624
00:29:02,490 --> 00:29:06,754
* Ti esrever dna ti pilf
Nwod gniht ym tup *
625
00:29:06,828 --> 00:29:09,456
* If you got a big...
Let me search ya *
626
00:29:09,539 --> 00:29:11,833
* And find out how hard I gotta work ya *
627
00:29:11,916 --> 00:29:16,087
* Ti esrever dna ti pilf
Nwod gniht ym tup *
628
00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:17,964
* C'mon to my fellas *
629
00:29:20,216 --> 00:29:22,802
* I like the way you work that *
630
00:29:22,886 --> 00:29:25,221
So, in conclusion, what my opponent said
631
00:29:25,305 --> 00:29:27,640
is forensically unsupportable.
-Mm-hm.
632
00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:33,021
* You sure know how to work that *
633
00:29:34,647 --> 00:29:36,941
All right! Yes.
-Yes.
634
00:29:37,817 --> 00:29:38,817
Thank you.
635
00:29:39,110 --> 00:29:40,110
Oh oh.
636
00:29:46,451 --> 00:29:49,537
Wu! Wu! Wu! Wu! Wu!
637
00:29:49,662 --> 00:29:51,623
Wu! Wu! Wu! Wu!
638
00:29:51,706 --> 00:29:53,708
Wu! Wu! Wu!
639
00:29:55,251 --> 00:29:57,378
Turns out Craig had his own dossier on me.
640
00:29:57,462 --> 00:29:58,922
You got out-dossiered?
641
00:29:59,005 --> 00:30:02,717
He said things about me
I've never told anybody in my entire life.
642
00:30:02,967 --> 00:30:05,345
How does he know
I fell out of my canoe at camp?
643
00:30:05,428 --> 00:30:07,430
I swam to shore by myself.
644
00:30:07,889 --> 00:30:09,265
Why didn't you use your intel?
645
00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:12,519
I was about to and then
he brought up my dad and I fell apart.
646
00:30:14,354 --> 00:30:15,855
It sucks you're going through this.
647
00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:17,815
It's all fine.
648
00:30:18,316 --> 00:30:20,318
I'm still the team's first
white female captain,
649
00:30:20,401 --> 00:30:22,487
and we... are still going to win.
650
00:30:22,570 --> 00:30:25,073
How? If Craig beat you,
what chance do I have?
651
00:30:27,951 --> 00:30:29,953
You were
never supposed to make it this far.
652
00:30:30,036 --> 00:30:31,913
So, he doesn't have a dossier on you.
653
00:30:32,622 --> 00:30:35,583
Your being a giant nobody
has finally paid off.
654
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:36,501
Thanks?
655
00:30:36,584 --> 00:30:39,295
All you have to do
is use this last bit of dirt.
656
00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:41,464
It'll be the final nail in his coffin.
657
00:30:44,634 --> 00:30:46,761
H... His mom slept with her trainer?
658
00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:47,887
How do you know this?
659
00:30:48,471 --> 00:30:49,639
I lift. I asked around.
660
00:30:50,265 --> 00:30:51,265
Okay...
661
00:30:51,808 --> 00:30:53,768
Um... How am I supposed to use this?
662
00:30:53,893 --> 00:30:54,811
He's the affirmative.
663
00:30:54,894 --> 00:30:57,230
Part of his case is built on
the personal anecdote
664
00:30:57,313 --> 00:30:58,523
of his�parents' divorce.
665
00:30:58,606 --> 00:30:59,816
It's that weird thing
666
00:30:59,899 --> 00:31:02,110
where you appear vulnerable
to appear strong.
667
00:31:02,193 --> 00:31:03,653
He'll give you the opening you need.
668
00:31:04,153 --> 00:31:05,822
I don't know if I can stoop that low.
669
00:31:06,823 --> 00:31:07,949
He did it to me.
670
00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:11,411
Besides, stooping low is something
671
00:31:11,494 --> 00:31:14,163
you've proven yourself
very capable of in the past.
672
00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:15,623
What's that supposed to mean?
673
00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:18,668
Oh, please.
Back when we were friends in fifth grade
674
00:31:18,751 --> 00:31:21,296
and you gave me away
to Jessica's group at recess.
675
00:31:22,422 --> 00:31:23,548
What are you talking about?
676
00:31:24,048 --> 00:31:24,883
You...
677
00:31:24,966 --> 00:31:27,646
We just stopped hanging out
and you started hanging out with Jessica
678
00:31:27,719 --> 00:31:29,387
because you had more in common with her.
679
00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:31,889
No.
680
00:31:32,223 --> 00:31:36,603
You very specifically
and intentionally gave me away.
681
00:31:36,853 --> 00:31:39,814
You, and Blair, and Hannah S, and Hannah G
were playing soccer
682
00:31:39,898 --> 00:31:42,942
and I was going to sit on the swings
and memorize the Republican presidents.
683
00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:44,277
Then you came up to me.
684
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,112
You took me over to Jessica
685
00:31:46,195 --> 00:31:48,531
and you said, "April's in your group now."
686
00:31:50,199 --> 00:31:51,534
And then you walked away.
687
00:31:52,118 --> 00:31:53,786
I don't remember it like that.
688
00:31:54,954 --> 00:31:55,954
I do.
689
00:31:58,666 --> 00:32:00,335
I don't know... I don't know what to say.
690
00:32:01,169 --> 00:32:04,505
If that's true, then I'm so sorry.
691
00:32:06,841 --> 00:32:07,841
It doesn't matter.
692
00:32:08,551 --> 00:32:09,761
The past is the past.
693
00:32:10,428 --> 00:32:11,679
We're all adults here.
694
00:32:12,096 --> 00:32:14,390
No, April. I want to talk about it.
-We just did.
695
00:32:16,851 --> 00:32:17,851
So...
696
00:32:19,437 --> 00:32:21,606
if you have a shred of decency,
697
00:32:21,689 --> 00:32:23,775
you will bring up
this boy's philandering mother
698
00:32:23,858 --> 00:32:25,610
in front of his friends and family.
699
00:32:37,413 --> 00:32:39,165
I am so bored right now.
700
00:32:39,749 --> 00:32:41,084
I can feel my hair growing.
701
00:32:41,542 --> 00:32:43,729
Either she starts selling drugs
in the next five minutes,
702
00:32:43,753 --> 00:32:44,913
or I'm going to run her over.
703
00:33:19,706 --> 00:33:21,082
Hey.
-Mm.
704
00:33:21,165 --> 00:33:22,250
I have to get going.
705
00:33:23,126 --> 00:33:24,794
I promised my mom I'd help stuff flyers.
706
00:33:24,877 --> 00:33:25,712
I'm sorry.
707
00:33:25,795 --> 00:33:27,314
We didn't even get to the end
of the mission
708
00:33:27,338 --> 00:33:30,008
where we get to, like,
bang in Thailand.
709
00:33:30,091 --> 00:33:32,260
Yeah, well,
that's what tomorrows are for.
710
00:33:32,343 --> 00:33:33,343
Oh, Yeah?
-Yeah.
711
00:33:33,761 --> 00:33:34,846
Bring that red wig.
712
00:33:34,929 --> 00:33:36,681
Okay. Only if you wear it.
713
00:33:40,059 --> 00:33:42,539
You want me to drive you home?
-No, the MARTA's right there.
714
00:33:42,603 --> 00:33:44,063
Besides, you don't want to miss it
715
00:33:44,147 --> 00:33:46,607
if she, like,
starts counting leaves or something.
716
00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:48,651
Oh, yeah, everything's a joke to you.
717
00:33:50,153 --> 00:33:50,987
Later.
718
00:33:51,070 --> 00:33:52,070
Bye!
719
00:35:06,771 --> 00:35:09,357
Officer said if you finish those BOBs
before five,
720
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,150
he can process before the shift change.
721
00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:13,611
That's great.
-Mm.
722
00:35:14,153 --> 00:35:17,490
Hey, thanks for sticking around.
-Did I have a choice?
723
00:35:18,658 --> 00:35:20,743
Easy day, my ass.
724
00:35:20,827 --> 00:35:22,745
Quit your bellyaching. You had fun.
725
00:35:22,912 --> 00:35:25,123
Maybe. I guess we don't make
a half bad team.
726
00:35:25,206 --> 00:35:26,958
Yeah, I always thought so.
727
00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:28,376
Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
728
00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:30,187
You have a funny way of showing it.
729
00:35:30,211 --> 00:35:32,380
You're saying I'm funny? Thank you.
730
00:35:34,507 --> 00:35:38,636
I'm saying if you had such a good time
with me that one and only night,
731
00:35:39,762 --> 00:35:41,264
why didn't you lock it down?
732
00:35:43,641 --> 00:35:44,892
Why didn't you ask me to?
733
00:35:45,852 --> 00:35:46,853
I had to ask?
734
00:35:46,936 --> 00:35:48,646
Well, I'm not a mind reader,
735
00:35:48,729 --> 00:35:50,731
and you wasn't emmitin'
no commitment vibes.
736
00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:52,066
And my sister was?
737
00:35:52,150 --> 00:35:54,360
She at least acted like
she was interested.
738
00:35:54,443 --> 00:35:55,278
Oh, please.
739
00:35:55,361 --> 00:35:58,197
Miss Michelle was probably
still coming down from Burning Man.
740
00:35:58,281 --> 00:36:01,534
Well, then you should have asked her
to save you a hit of whatever it was.
741
00:36:01,617 --> 00:36:05,163
And that would have changed things?
-I don't know, I can't time travel.
742
00:36:05,246 --> 00:36:06,414
Or read minds.
743
00:36:07,456 --> 00:36:09,000
You know...
-Mm-hm.
744
00:36:09,083 --> 00:36:11,752
If you keep reminding me
of all the super powers I don't have...
745
00:36:11,836 --> 00:36:14,088
Yes?
-...you'll miss the ones I do have.
746
00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:15,631
Like your brute strength?
747
00:36:15,715 --> 00:36:16,883
And my winning smile.
748
00:36:16,966 --> 00:36:19,802
Yeah, and I have X-ray vision.
I can see through shit.
749
00:36:24,223 --> 00:36:26,017
"I can see through shit."
-Yes, I can!
750
00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:32,899
So, how is Michelle doing anyway?
751
00:36:37,945 --> 00:36:38,779
Fine.
752
00:36:38,946 --> 00:36:40,198
Yeah?
-Mm-hm.
753
00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:41,740
What is she up to?
754
00:36:43,492 --> 00:36:44,911
You know Michelle.
-Mm-hm.
755
00:36:44,994 --> 00:36:46,579
She's either visiting an ostrich farm
756
00:36:46,662 --> 00:36:48,497
or trying to become an astronaut.
757
00:36:48,581 --> 00:36:53,336
Yeah. She tried to convince me
once to grow crystals in our bathroom.
758
00:36:53,419 --> 00:36:55,129
Said we'd make a fortune.
759
00:36:57,340 --> 00:36:58,340
I should get going.
760
00:36:59,592 --> 00:37:00,635
Hey, are you sure?
761
00:37:01,469 --> 00:37:03,471
Yeah. Tow truck will be showing up soon.
762
00:37:04,096 --> 00:37:05,640
My whole life's in that thing.
763
00:37:10,478 --> 00:37:12,396
Yes, but in a hyper-capitalist framework,
764
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:15,524
reparations would be counter-intuitive
to a nation's productivity.
765
00:37:15,608 --> 00:37:18,527
I'd contend that a nation's productivity
would improve
766
00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:21,280
if its citizens could endorse
their government's morality.
767
00:37:21,364 --> 00:37:22,925
Isn't that what this is all about, anyway?
768
00:37:22,949 --> 00:37:24,158
What's right and what's wrong?
769
00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:26,410
Take my parents, for example.
770
00:37:26,827 --> 00:37:27,870
They got divorced.
771
00:37:29,247 --> 00:37:30,247
It was amicable.
772
00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:34,835
But only because my father
made reparations to my mother
773
00:37:34,919 --> 00:37:37,213
for being absent for many years.
774
00:37:37,296 --> 00:37:39,632
So you're contending that your mother
was the victim?
775
00:37:39,715 --> 00:37:42,510
I... I guess, but I mean
that the situation was resolved
776
00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:45,012
because one party admitted guilt.
777
00:37:47,556 --> 00:37:48,556
One party?
778
00:37:49,225 --> 00:37:55,064
My point is that institutions
as small as families and as big as nations
779
00:37:55,147 --> 00:37:57,733
can only move on with the truth.
780
00:37:57,817 --> 00:38:00,128
I mean, don't you think when someone
was wronged in the past
781
00:38:00,152 --> 00:38:03,948
that the offending party has an obligation
to address that grievance?
782
00:38:04,407 --> 00:38:05,825
Even if it's years later?
783
00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:19,630
You make a great point.
784
00:38:25,136 --> 00:38:27,054
Wu! Wu! Wu! Wu!
785
00:38:27,138 --> 00:38:29,140
Wu! Wu! Wu!
786
00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:31,892
We did it, boys! Yes!
-Wu! Wu! Wu! Wu!
787
00:38:31,976 --> 00:38:33,853
Wu! Wu! Wu!
788
00:38:33,936 --> 00:38:35,938
Hey! What was that?
789
00:38:36,439 --> 00:38:37,982
Why didn't you drop
the trainer hammer?
790
00:38:38,065 --> 00:38:40,276
I'm sorry, the moment came
and I just couldn't do it.
791
00:38:40,359 --> 00:38:42,153
Oh, so, you can be mean when it helps you
792
00:38:42,236 --> 00:38:43,863
but not when it might actually help me?
793
00:38:44,739 --> 00:38:46,032
You're right.
794
00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:48,385
You're right, April.
You're right about a lot of stuff,
795
00:38:48,409 --> 00:38:49,761
like the fact that I was your bully.
796
00:38:49,785 --> 00:38:50,995
What are you talking about?
797
00:38:51,078 --> 00:38:53,873
In fifth grade, we were close
and I gave you away and I'm sorry.
798
00:38:54,540 --> 00:38:55,540
What?
799
00:38:55,958 --> 00:38:58,919
I don't care about your stupid apology.
800
00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,547
You know what's going on
with my family right now.
801
00:39:01,630 --> 00:39:04,216
We have become the black sheep
of the entire community.
802
00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:05,384
I needed a win.
803
00:39:05,468 --> 00:39:07,388
Healing of our relationship
is bigger than a win.
804
00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:09,388
Says the person who wins all the time!
805
00:39:10,264 --> 00:39:11,098
April...!
-No!
806
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:13,201
You screwed me over then
and you screwed me over now.
807
00:39:13,225 --> 00:39:15,394
I didn't think our relationship
could get worse.
808
00:39:15,770 --> 00:39:16,770
I was wrong.
809
00:39:26,697 --> 00:39:28,574
Hey, I just wanted to congratulate you.
810
00:39:28,657 --> 00:39:30,137
Hope to see you next year?
-Thanks.
811
00:40:14,036 --> 00:40:15,121
Uh... hmm.
812
00:41:05,171 --> 00:41:07,006
* Mother *
813
00:41:07,506 --> 00:41:10,593
* Tell your children not to walk my way *
814
00:41:11,218 --> 00:41:13,846
* Tell your children
Not to hear my words *
815
00:41:13,929 --> 00:41:16,140
* What they mean What they say *
816
00:41:16,223 --> 00:41:17,808
* Mother *
817
00:41:19,810 --> 00:41:21,187
* Mother *
818
00:41:22,021 --> 00:41:25,024
* Can you keep them in the dark for life?
819
00:41:25,608 --> 00:41:28,694
* Can you hide them
From the waiting world *
820
00:41:29,195 --> 00:41:32,239
* Oh mother *
821
00:41:34,116 --> 00:41:35,826
* Father *
822
00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:39,371
* Gonna take your daughter out tonight *
823
00:41:39,872 --> 00:41:42,625
* Gonna show her my world *
824
00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:48,255
* Oh father *
825
00:41:48,756 --> 00:41:51,842
* Not about to see your light *
826
00:41:52,301 --> 00:41:55,262
* But if you want to find hell with me *
827
00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:58,682
* I can show you what it's like *
828
00:41:59,433 --> 00:42:01,435
* Till you're bleeding *
829
00:42:01,852 --> 00:42:05,189
* Not about to see your light *
830
00:42:05,272 --> 00:42:08,275
* But if you want to find hell with me *
831
00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:11,153
* I can show you what it's *
832
00:42:13,864 --> 00:42:15,282
* Mother *
833
00:42:16,116 --> 00:42:18,911
* Tell your children
Not to hold my hand *
834
00:42:19,411 --> 00:42:21,997
* Tell your children not to understand *
835
00:42:22,456 --> 00:42:25,501
* Oh mother *
836
00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:28,462
* Father *
837
00:42:29,046 --> 00:42:31,799
* Do you want to bang heads with me *
838
00:42:32,341 --> 00:42:35,094
* Do you want to feel everything *
839
00:42:35,511 --> 00:42:39,139
* Oh father *
840
00:42:40,849 --> 00:42:44,186
* Not about to see your light *
841
00:42:44,270 --> 00:42:47,147
* And if you want to find hell with me *
842
00:42:47,231 --> 00:42:50,734
* I can show you what it's like *
843
00:42:53,734 --> 00:42:57,734
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