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www.titlovi.com
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We fell asleep! We fell asleep!
3
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:17,920
You were supposed to leave!
4
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,760
I couldn't let you sleep out here alone.
5
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:22,640
What?
-Mm.
6
00:00:25,010 --> 00:00:26,760
I couldn't let you sleep out here alone.
7
00:00:26,850 --> 00:00:27,850
Oh.
8
00:00:28,430 --> 00:00:30,840
But seriously, if my mom
sees you she'll explode.
9
00:00:30,930 --> 00:00:32,510
Your mom loves me.
10
00:00:32,770 --> 00:00:35,940
Yeah, but if she knows that we used
our family tent as a marital bed,
11
00:00:36,020 --> 00:00:37,020
she might reconsider.
12
00:00:38,060 --> 00:00:40,900
And if she knew...
then she'd tell my mom.
13
00:00:40,980 --> 00:00:42,060
Yeah.
14
00:00:43,900 --> 00:00:45,150
Sterling, I have to go.
15
00:00:45,490 --> 00:00:46,490
I have to go.
-Yeah.
16
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:49,869
Don't forget your mouth guard.
17
00:00:49,870 --> 00:00:50,960
Oh.
18
00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:52,170
And your phone.
-Oh.
19
00:00:52,250 --> 00:00:53,420
And don't forget your hat.
20
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:54,630
And your guitar.
21
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:57,200
I love you.
-I love you, too.
22
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:26,950
Good morning.
-Hi, Sterl.
23
00:01:27,030 --> 00:01:29,740
Oh, I'm sorry, do I know you?
You look like my drunk daughter.
24
00:01:29,820 --> 00:01:31,610
Mom, please let me back inside.
25
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,280
It was one stupid night, okay.
26
00:01:33,370 --> 00:01:34,750
People have stupid nights.
27
00:01:34,770 --> 00:01:36,399
"People" are not my daughter,
Sterling Wesley.
28
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,560
You have my name
29
00:01:37,580 --> 00:01:39,840
and you thought nothing of
dragging it through the mud.
30
00:01:40,420 --> 00:01:42,090
Every member of my book club
31
00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:43,580
has called to check on you.
32
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:46,630
Oh, God, Book Club tomorrow is
gonna be hell, pardon my French.
33
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,799
You have friends that follow your
teenage daughter on Instagram?
34
00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,470
I'd be more concerned about that.
35
00:01:51,890 --> 00:01:53,600
But of course, you know best.
36
00:01:54,470 --> 00:01:55,510
Mom...
-Mm-hm.
37
00:01:55,530 --> 00:01:57,600
You're right, I should have
been more responsible.
38
00:01:57,620 --> 00:01:58,639
I'm really sorry.
39
00:01:58,650 --> 00:02:01,100
An apology is not going
to fix it, Sterling.
40
00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:04,468
Just like you thought an apology
41
00:02:04,470 --> 00:02:06,110
would cut it with your father's truck.
42
00:02:06,190 --> 00:02:08,730
But Blair did that, too! And we're
halfway to paying you back.
43
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:11,900
Uh, Mom, I've learned my
lesson, please trust me.
44
00:02:12,450 --> 00:02:13,780
Your father and I will determine
45
00:02:13,870 --> 00:02:15,619
when you have truly learned
the error of your ways.
46
00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:17,830
Dad's off hunting. How's he
gonna see that I've learned?
47
00:02:17,910 --> 00:02:19,959
I don't know, dear. How are you
going to convince your mother
48
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,220
and everyone she's ever known
that you did not grow up
49
00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:24,210
on the set of a Spring Break video, hm?
50
00:02:28,590 --> 00:02:29,590
Mom.
51
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:31,300
Um...
52
00:02:31,930 --> 00:02:32,930
Did you hear that?
53
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:39,760
You're so different from
any girl I've dated.
54
00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:41,650
All... All two of 'em.
55
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,230
How so?
56
00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:45,560
And I'm gonna need those
names and Instagram handles.
57
00:02:46,030 --> 00:02:47,870
Ever since I first saw you
at the Country Club,
58
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:50,780
you just put out this crazy confidence.
59
00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:52,360
You're super down-to-earth,
60
00:02:52,820 --> 00:02:54,240
just comfortable with who you are.
61
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,960
It's mad sexy.
62
00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:00,960
You're mad sexy.
63
00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,000
I miss you.
64
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:08,210
Living 22 minutes away is basically
like living in another state.
65
00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:09,430
Oh, for real, though!
66
00:03:09,510 --> 00:03:11,220
It's like some Romeo
and Juliet type shit.
67
00:03:12,550 --> 00:03:14,130
Okay, baby, I gotta go to work.
68
00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:15,470
All right, baby. Text me.
69
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:16,970
Okay, bye.
70
00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:31,150
Knock knock, vagrant sister.
71
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:34,500
Did you bring my deodorant?
72
00:03:34,990 --> 00:03:37,280
Oh, yeah. You were almost
out and I was almost out,
73
00:03:37,370 --> 00:03:38,670
so I smushed the two together.
74
00:03:38,750 --> 00:03:40,210
Powder Fresh meets Spring Breeze.
75
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:46,710
Is Miles texting you dog memes again?
76
00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:47,790
Yeah.
77
00:03:48,710 --> 00:03:49,830
Life is funny, Sterl.
78
00:03:50,340 --> 00:03:51,960
You know, one day you're a single woman
79
00:03:52,050 --> 00:03:54,340
fueled by the lyrics of
old Tori Amos songs,
80
00:03:54,430 --> 00:03:57,310
and the next, you're a part of someone.
81
00:03:58,310 --> 00:03:59,650
I'm not an island anymore.
82
00:03:59,930 --> 00:04:01,100
I'm a pair of islands.
83
00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,070
So, you're an archipelago?
84
00:04:03,140 --> 00:04:05,520
Seriously, dude, if I may
gush for a second...
85
00:04:05,860 --> 00:04:06,860
Miles gets me.
86
00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:08,380
That's what you said about Jennings.
87
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,230
Yeah, but I was a different
person back then,
88
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:11,948
young and naive...
-That was two weeks ago.
89
00:04:11,950 --> 00:04:13,790
Miles gets me way more.
90
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,410
I should have known to look
at guys from other schools.
91
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,660
He's almost more of an
outsider than I am.
92
00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:20,320
He likes super weird music,
93
00:04:20,410 --> 00:04:22,620
he DJs, he goes to public school.
94
00:04:22,710 --> 00:04:24,920
So, he's an outsider because
he goes to public school?
95
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,210
To me, yes.
96
00:04:26,290 --> 00:04:28,710
Plus, Miles is, like,
the salt of the earth.
97
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,470
Earning the money for his car.
98
00:04:30,550 --> 00:04:32,390
You know, nothing has
been handed to him.
99
00:04:32,470 --> 00:04:33,970
His mom works two jobs.
100
00:04:34,050 --> 00:04:35,840
I work two jobs and I live in a tent!
101
00:04:35,930 --> 00:04:37,430
I can't live like this!
102
00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:38,590
How am I gonna convince Mom
103
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,480
that I'm worthy of living
under the Wesley roof?
104
00:04:41,310 --> 00:04:43,360
Sounds like white people problems.
105
00:04:43,430 --> 00:04:45,350
We're white. And it actually doesn't.
106
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:48,110
Yeah, but like, compared to
what Miles goes through...
107
00:04:48,190 --> 00:04:49,740
We're not talking about Miles!
108
00:04:49,820 --> 00:04:52,740
Sterling, I'm in a partnership now.
109
00:04:53,610 --> 00:04:54,930
We're always talking about Miles.
110
00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:57,740
Wanna see this dog meme
that Miles sent me?
111
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:01,000
Big boy energy.
112
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,159
Ooh, look at him, he's so fluffy!
-Who's a good boy?
113
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:04,700
Johnny Cornwall skipped again.
114
00:05:04,790 --> 00:05:06,460
Here's his file.
-Absolutely not.
115
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:07,700
What's his deal?
116
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,000
Public masturbator.
117
00:05:09,340 --> 00:05:11,260
Eww. Save that for the bathtub.
118
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,340
Or the car, if traffic's really bad.
119
00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:15,380
Sick! You do that in the car?
120
00:05:15,470 --> 00:05:17,100
Um, my body is a temple.
121
00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:18,850
And the car is a temple on wheels.
122
00:05:18,930 --> 00:05:20,770
So, you're a temple in a moving temple?
123
00:05:20,850 --> 00:05:21,940
Don't shame me.
124
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:25,560
You're turning down all
my damn skips today.
125
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,140
Are you forgetting I'm your boss?
126
00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:29,150
I'm the head chef.
You're the little waiter dude.
127
00:05:29,190 --> 00:05:30,950
You can't decide what food to dish out.
128
00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:33,020
Yolanda, these skips are bullshit.
129
00:05:33,110 --> 00:05:35,649
I got a feeling you're giving
Terrance the Clown all the good jobs.
130
00:05:35,650 --> 00:05:38,250
I don't care about your feelings.
I care about recouping my money.
131
00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:40,402
Terrance delivers.
-Oh, please...
132
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:41,660
Anything else?
133
00:05:41,740 --> 00:05:42,740
I've got a big one,
134
00:05:42,790 --> 00:05:44,990
but I'm not sure if Eeyore
here is up for the challenge.
135
00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:47,290
And I'm out a shit ton for her.
136
00:05:47,370 --> 00:05:48,790
Kendra Saint John.
137
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:51,500
Fancy. Sounds like a countess!
138
00:05:51,590 --> 00:05:53,130
Good day, Countess Saint John.
139
00:05:54,340 --> 00:05:55,510
So, this chick's a scammer.
140
00:05:55,590 --> 00:05:58,250
She throws jewelry parties and
claims it's high-end product,
141
00:05:58,340 --> 00:06:00,381
but it's actually just tin
spray painted in gold.
142
00:06:00,850 --> 00:06:03,270
By the time the victims figure
it out, she skips town,
143
00:06:03,290 --> 00:06:05,650
changes her name,
does it all over again.
144
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,390
Her focus is niche groups.
145
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,980
Her last venture, "F Everything",
was targeted at anarchists.
146
00:06:10,060 --> 00:06:12,480
Anarchists buying matching
bracelets? Uh-uh.
147
00:06:12,570 --> 00:06:15,290
The product was a chain that connects
nose ring to belt to nose ring.
148
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:18,670
But what if you stand up really
fast and then you pull your nose?
149
00:06:19,990 --> 00:06:21,290
No wonder they're so angry.
150
00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:23,750
Currently, she's running
a Christian-based scam.
151
00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:25,500
The company's called Jewels of the Magi.
152
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:27,420
Using the Lord like that!
153
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:28,800
Yeah, that feels rude.
154
00:06:28,870 --> 00:06:30,330
Like, biblically rude.
155
00:06:30,420 --> 00:06:32,550
Okay, any intel on places she frequents?
156
00:06:32,630 --> 00:06:33,959
The local precinct might have some
157
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,880
if you'd get over yourself
and go down there.
158
00:06:36,550 --> 00:06:37,870
You trying to play games with me?
159
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,000
I don't play games.
160
00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:40,920
And if I was playing games, I'd win.
161
00:06:41,010 --> 00:06:42,630
I'm in better shape and I cheat.
162
00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:45,258
Uh... Stop fighting, Mom and Dad.
163
00:06:45,259 --> 00:06:46,770
I don't wanna work with the cops.
164
00:06:46,850 --> 00:06:49,438
Okay? Their squeaky pants scare me.
-Well, don't worry.
165
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,530
We don't work with cops. Ever.
166
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,640
Mm.
167
00:06:53,190 --> 00:06:54,200
Company policy.
168
00:06:55,570 --> 00:06:57,780
Wow, I just realized,
in this very moment,
169
00:06:57,860 --> 00:06:59,198
that old people are super dramatic.
170
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,040
Who are you calling old?
-I am not dramatic!
171
00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:05,340
Okay, so, what's the plan
here? Should we tell her
172
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,079
that we're throwing one of
her little party thingies
173
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,570
and give her the Yogurtopia address?
174
00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:10,040
Good idea!
-Hell, no!
175
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,870
No way she's gonna buy that some
rich white ladies live around here.
176
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,220
You need a home address
177
00:07:14,290 --> 00:07:15,870
in a one percent kind of neighborhood.
178
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:27,350
I hope you have more than
just that one little bottle.
179
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,230
Yes, not to worry, Charlotte.
180
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:33,030
We are overflowing with wine.
-Mm.
181
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,850
You know... and crab puffs.
182
00:07:35,270 --> 00:07:36,270
You should eat something.
183
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,230
Lynn! Oh.
184
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:39,450
How are you?
185
00:07:39,820 --> 00:07:42,240
Great! Your house looks fantastic.
186
00:07:42,410 --> 00:07:44,410
That new wallpaper is to die for.
187
00:07:44,660 --> 00:07:46,290
I love it!
-Oh, wow! Thank you.
188
00:07:46,370 --> 00:07:48,790
Yeah, it just felt like
time for a refresh.
189
00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:52,090
That stupid book.
-Oh.
190
00:07:52,170 --> 00:07:54,410
I stopped when the neighbor
found the clue in the vacuum.
191
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,170
I couldn't finish it either.
192
00:07:57,750 --> 00:07:59,040
I'm so glad to be here.
193
00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:01,350
Vernon left for his hunting trip today.
194
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:02,550
Oh.
195
00:08:02,630 --> 00:08:04,710
You know Anderson is
out on the lease, too.
196
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,480
What is it with these
boys and their guns?
197
00:08:06,550 --> 00:08:09,010
I don't know, but maybe with
all of them out in the wild,
198
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:11,060
they'll shoot each other
and save us the misery.
199
00:08:17,190 --> 00:08:18,350
Right, excuse me.
200
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:21,180
Sterling, honey, what's going on?
201
00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:23,338
I thought you were
refreshing sparkling waters
202
00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:24,398
and Blair was doing the hors d'oeuvres.
203
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:25,909
Please do not confuse the duties.
204
00:08:25,910 --> 00:08:28,239
I finished refreshing the waters,
so I just grabbed the puffs.
205
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,450
Just taking initiative, Mommy.
206
00:08:29,540 --> 00:08:31,170
And I can help pour wine, too.
207
00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:33,540
Lord, no, them seeing you
cozied up with a bottle?
208
00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:35,160
Honey, that is the last thing we need.
209
00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:37,250
I'll handle the wine.
210
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:42,800
Mom's happy.
211
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:43,920
She's happy.
212
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:45,960
Do you think she's happy?
213
00:08:46,050 --> 00:08:47,280
Mrs. Burton told her
214
00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:49,470
that the guest towels
were beautifully crisp.
215
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,770
She'll be high on that till Christmas.
216
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:52,860
Yeah.
-Okay.
217
00:09:02,570 --> 00:09:03,605
Surprise!
218
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,320
Babe! What are you doing here?
219
00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:08,110
Oh.
220
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:09,920
You know how we never
get to see each other?
221
00:09:09,990 --> 00:09:11,200
Mm-hm.
-I'm fixing that.
222
00:09:11,290 --> 00:09:12,710
Oh, I'm so happy!
223
00:09:12,950 --> 00:09:15,370
Seeing you on a Sunday
afternoon, what a luxury!
224
00:09:15,670 --> 00:09:18,510
But... damn it, I can't
really hang right now.
225
00:09:18,580 --> 00:09:20,249
I'm kinda helping my mom
with her book club.
226
00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:22,040
No, I know. I'm the valet.
227
00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:23,350
You're what now?
228
00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:25,009
I overheard your mom talking
about it at the club,
229
00:09:25,010 --> 00:09:26,390
and I offered my services.
230
00:09:26,590 --> 00:09:29,170
So, now I get to see my
girl and make some bread.
231
00:09:30,430 --> 00:09:31,940
Wow.
232
00:09:32,010 --> 00:09:33,640
Shocking update...
233
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,930
Miles is here.
234
00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:37,730
What do you mean here? Like here, here?
235
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:39,430
No, like the here that means over there.
236
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,190
Yes! Here! At our house!
-Why?
237
00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:43,350
Mom hired him as a valet.
238
00:09:44,690 --> 00:09:45,690
What if he wants a tour?
239
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:47,780
Um...
240
00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:50,700
I need to go stage my room like
I wasn't 12 in the last five years.
241
00:09:50,780 --> 00:09:52,380
I definitely need to hide my BTS poster.
242
00:09:52,450 --> 00:09:54,248
Are you worried...
-I cannot burn that poster, Sterling,
243
00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:55,748
you know it has emotional
resonance for me.
244
00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:57,119
No, I mean that...
-Okay, you know what?
245
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,160
Fine, I will burn it, but
I'm furious about this!
246
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,450
No, don't burn anything.
247
00:10:01,750 --> 00:10:02,750
You're right.
248
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,080
What am I doing?
249
00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:07,880
Everything is fine.
It's great to have him here.
250
00:10:07,970 --> 00:10:10,100
Who cares if he knows that
I love J-Hope the most...
251
00:10:10,180 --> 00:10:11,350
with Suga a close second?
252
00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:13,230
He likes me for me.
253
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,640
But, you're fine that he's
here as a valet... the help...
254
00:10:16,980 --> 00:10:18,070
at your mother's hen party?
255
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,440
Oh, shit.
-Yeah.
256
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,570
This is the first time that
he's here at your house
257
00:10:22,650 --> 00:10:24,280
and you're already on unequal footing.
258
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:26,570
It's not like Mom knew about
us before she hired him.
259
00:10:26,650 --> 00:10:28,218
I'm still trying to work up
the courage to tell her
260
00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:29,529
that we're going out on dates.
261
00:10:29,530 --> 00:10:31,490
Why? Because he's black?
262
00:10:31,570 --> 00:10:32,570
Because he's Catholic.
263
00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:34,420
Oh, right. Well, whatever.
264
00:10:34,490 --> 00:10:36,990
He's here now at your rich,
portrait-addled mansion,
265
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,590
and we're bounty hunting.
266
00:10:38,660 --> 00:10:41,160
He says that he likes me
because I'm down to earth.
267
00:10:41,380 --> 00:10:44,630
This is, like, the least down to
earth thing in the entire world.
268
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:46,750
It's basically Pluto.
-You need to fix this.
269
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,510
It's cool. I'm cool.
270
00:10:49,590 --> 00:10:51,170
Look at me be...
271
00:10:51,260 --> 00:10:52,260
It's Bowser.
272
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:53,680
Hello?
-Girls...
273
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,340
I think I just saw her pull in,
but I couldn't positively ID her.
274
00:10:56,810 --> 00:10:57,810
Run out and check.
275
00:10:58,230 --> 00:11:01,570
If it's her, make up an excuse
and get her down the driveway.
276
00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:02,940
I'll do the rest.
277
00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:05,190
Wait, hold up.
278
00:11:19,370 --> 00:11:21,700
Oh, stand down, stand down. It's a dude.
279
00:11:21,830 --> 00:11:23,499
What do you mean, it...
280
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:24,500
Hello?
281
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:26,290
Don't hang up on me, you...
282
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,920
Welcome to our little gathering!
And you would be?
283
00:11:29,010 --> 00:11:31,260
I'm John Slack with Jewels of the Magi,
284
00:11:31,340 --> 00:11:32,590
and you must be Debbie.
285
00:11:33,140 --> 00:11:34,900
Uh...
-No! No! No! Uh, she can't vote yet.
286
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:37,430
Our mom, Debbie, is inside.
287
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:38,810
So, where's Kendra?
288
00:11:39,390 --> 00:11:41,810
Oh, unfortunately,
she couldn't make it today.
289
00:11:41,890 --> 00:11:43,180
I'm happy to fill in.
290
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,020
I got lots of bling to show,
291
00:11:46,110 --> 00:11:48,530
so I hope you folks are ready to buy!
292
00:11:49,070 --> 00:11:50,070
I think we actually...
293
00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:51,230
Yeah, well, you're, um...
294
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,190
Shit. Shit. Shit.
295
00:11:58,410 --> 00:11:59,740
Oh.
296
00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:00,840
Well, hello there.
297
00:12:00,910 --> 00:12:02,080
Who do we have here?
298
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:04,494
Surprise!
-This is John Slack.
299
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,120
He is a sales associate
300
00:12:06,210 --> 00:12:08,330
with Jewels of the Magi,
a jewelry company.
301
00:12:08,710 --> 00:12:10,250
Pleased to meet you
302
00:12:10,340 --> 00:12:13,060
and show you and your
guests some jewelry.
303
00:12:15,220 --> 00:12:18,560
Right... Um, well,
that is just fantastic.
304
00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,060
Please, make your... self at home.
305
00:12:22,890 --> 00:12:24,010
What the hello is this?
306
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:25,220
A fun addition to the party?
307
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,820
Each piece in the collection
308
00:12:26,900 --> 00:12:29,570
was inspired by a passage in the Bible.
309
00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:31,810
So, it's designed to adorn the wearer
310
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:34,070
and exalt the Lord at the same time.
311
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,870
Um... Uh-huh.
312
00:12:35,950 --> 00:12:38,040
You know, thank you, girls, but...
313
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,948
... they're a little over
the top for my taste.
314
00:12:39,950 --> 00:12:42,200
You don't have to buy any.
In fact, you... you shouldn't.
315
00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:45,550
Yeah, think of them as, like,
entertainment or like, um...
316
00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:47,580
an upscale conversation starter
317
00:12:47,670 --> 00:12:48,950
for you and your guests.
-Yes.
318
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,960
That way you don't have
to talk about the book.
319
00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:53,540
It sat on the table in the
same place for a month,
320
00:12:53,630 --> 00:12:55,170
so we know you didn't read it.
321
00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:56,430
Well, I... I...
322
00:13:07,350 --> 00:13:08,480
Oh... uh...
323
00:13:09,020 --> 00:13:10,020
Okay.
324
00:13:14,070 --> 00:13:15,080
Kendra's not coming.
325
00:13:15,150 --> 00:13:16,530
Aw, goddamn it! What?
326
00:13:16,610 --> 00:13:17,890
Yeah, she sent this guy instead,
327
00:13:17,950 --> 00:13:20,080
like, a minion, who's inside
our house right now,
328
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,370
trying to hock cheap rhinestones
to unsuspecting women.
329
00:13:22,450 --> 00:13:24,289
There's no way they'll bite,
they have expensive taste.
330
00:13:24,290 --> 00:13:25,670
You're right.
-No, wait. Listen.
331
00:13:25,750 --> 00:13:27,590
Have y'all ever interrogated anyone?
332
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,410
Oh, we're pros at getting
information out of people.
333
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,080
Last year, Margot Carroll said
334
00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:33,919
she had a thing with
someone over the summer,
335
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:35,780
and it took us five
minutes with Hannah B
336
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,250
to find out it was two people.
337
00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:39,380
James Fenser and Terry Massingill.
338
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,510
Wait, I thought that she
only held hands with Terry.
339
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:43,268
Yeah, but Hannah B
screenshotted her playlist
340
00:13:43,270 --> 00:13:45,099
that she put on her story...
-That's right...
341
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,470
Okay! Stop! Stop. Stop talking.
342
00:13:48,650 --> 00:13:49,740
How's Sterling doing?
343
00:13:50,310 --> 00:13:52,480
You know, my Hannah
saw that post of hers
344
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:54,149
and she told me...
-Oh, that old thing.
345
00:13:54,150 --> 00:13:57,320
No... You know,
Sterling is doing just great.
346
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,610
That was a nothing.
She made Honor Roll again.
347
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:01,369
Do you know that that's
six semesters in a row?
348
00:14:01,370 --> 00:14:03,080
I'm so glad to hear it.
349
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,950
It's just, if you let one sin in the
door, the next thing you know,
350
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,280
the devil will come a-knockin'.
351
00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:10,250
Not at this house, we have ADT.
352
00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:14,120
Jesus wishes He died on
a cross this beautiful.
353
00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:16,590
I'll take three. My Luke might
want to give one to Sterling.
354
00:14:16,670 --> 00:14:18,590
Their six year anniversary's coming up.
355
00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:21,270
You know what? I'll take one, too.
356
00:14:21,350 --> 00:14:23,060
Oh, and can you throw in a brooch?
357
00:14:23,140 --> 00:14:24,140
Mm-hm.
358
00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:26,550
Oh, Debbie... this bracelet
359
00:14:27,060 --> 00:14:29,780
will look absolutely
adorable with that outfit.
360
00:14:29,850 --> 00:14:31,810
Um, yeah, that... that is...
361
00:14:32,980 --> 00:14:33,980
precious.
362
00:14:34,730 --> 00:14:35,730
Um...
363
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:38,400
You know what?
364
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:40,280
Why not? I'll take it.
365
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,320
Great! That'll be 180 dollars.
366
00:14:42,410 --> 00:14:44,120
Uh, mm... Okay.
367
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,910
Let me just go get my card reader.
368
00:14:47,410 --> 00:14:48,410
What?
369
00:14:49,460 --> 00:14:52,720
Our mark is isolated in the
kitchen. He isolated himself!
370
00:14:52,790 --> 00:14:55,240
Mark?
-No, the... the guy!
371
00:14:55,670 --> 00:14:57,420
The guy we need to get information from!
372
00:14:57,450 --> 00:14:58,501
Then just say that.
373
00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:00,587
Hi!
-Hello...
374
00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:04,550
Hey, y'all. You two seem
like great candidates
375
00:15:05,060 --> 00:15:07,427
for this Cain and Abel locket set.
376
00:15:07,850 --> 00:15:09,471
Ooh. Mmm.
377
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,280
Thanks, we don't really
do the matching thing.
378
00:15:12,270 --> 00:15:13,270
Not even headbands?
379
00:15:13,290 --> 00:15:16,480
Actually, we were hoping to
ask you a couple of questions.
380
00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:18,990
We're doing a research
paper on what it's like
381
00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:20,620
to work for women entrepreneurs,
382
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:23,110
and we would really appreciate your...
383
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:25,120
expertise.
384
00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:26,950
Ask away.
385
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:31,300
Do you work out? Because your
shape is so good to my eyes.
386
00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:33,420
What?
387
00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:38,010
My sister is trying to let me
ask the questions here.
388
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:40,210
Okay, fine.
389
00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:42,129
Which are...?
-Do you like working for Kendra?
390
00:15:42,130 --> 00:15:43,260
What's Kendra like?
391
00:15:43,590 --> 00:15:46,630
What's Kendra's day-to-day
itinerary, generally speaking?
392
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:47,720
I wish I knew.
393
00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:51,020
If only I existed in her orbit
on a more regular basis,
394
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:55,560
but sadly, she is busier than a
fruit fly swimming in ambrosia.
395
00:15:56,400 --> 00:16:01,620
That... must be difficult for you.
396
00:16:02,660 --> 00:16:04,450
Unfair, really.
397
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,490
Yeah, you are so brilliant at sales.
398
00:16:06,580 --> 00:16:08,580
It must be really hard
having Kendra trap you
399
00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:10,070
in such a lower level position.
400
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:15,250
Oh. No. No. She is such
a wonderful mentor.
401
00:16:15,330 --> 00:16:16,460
So giving.
402
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:19,080
I'm on the phone with her all day long,
403
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:20,790
filling orders, strategizing.
404
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:21,920
We're a team.
405
00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:27,890
You know, sometimes when
a person is really talented,
406
00:16:28,430 --> 00:16:30,930
their boss manipulates them.
407
00:16:31,270 --> 00:16:32,560
When really, they...
408
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:34,890
Oh, look at that! Kendra's
asking me to call her.
409
00:16:34,980 --> 00:16:36,280
Uh, if you'll excuse me.
410
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,490
Tell her to come by
the house if she's free!
411
00:16:38,570 --> 00:16:40,240
Hello? Kendra?
412
00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:43,160
Yes, that shipment of
bangles just came in
413
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:44,620
and they are as sparklin'...
414
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:47,450
Um, can you work on that while
I go take care of Miles?
415
00:16:47,530 --> 00:16:49,450
Make him think that
I'm this super chill lady.
416
00:16:49,540 --> 00:16:51,210
Which I am and not his...
417
00:16:51,580 --> 00:16:54,250
upper crust, white employer.
418
00:16:56,420 --> 00:16:57,420
Sounds like fun.
419
00:16:57,790 --> 00:17:01,460
Hey! If you're tired, take a
load off, have a sandwich.
420
00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:03,760
Or don't. Just have fun!
421
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,090
But that's not an order.
422
00:17:05,180 --> 00:17:07,220
Like, thank you, but
that'd be kind of weird.
423
00:17:07,930 --> 00:17:08,930
I don't see why.
424
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:10,380
But, whatever you want.
425
00:17:10,470 --> 00:17:13,180
Well, if you saw your valet eating
a big old sandwich, chiefin',
426
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:14,650
you'd be tight, wouldn't you?
427
00:17:14,730 --> 00:17:16,730
I don't really know what
"chiefin'" means, but...
428
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,060
valet is such a weird word.
Don't you think?
429
00:17:20,650 --> 00:17:23,070
It rhymes with "chalet",
which is also a weird word,
430
00:17:23,490 --> 00:17:25,580
"ballet"... less weird to me, you know?
431
00:17:26,570 --> 00:17:28,490
No. I don't know what you're saying.
432
00:17:28,570 --> 00:17:30,950
I'm just saying that it is all good.
433
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,070
And since I'm here, hey, I got this one.
434
00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:34,160
You relax.
435
00:17:34,370 --> 00:17:35,410
Thank you, Miss Weldon,
436
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:38,090
I bow before you and
this beautiful vehicle.
437
00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:40,090
May I take the keys to your castle?
-Babe...
438
00:17:40,170 --> 00:17:41,170
let me do my job.
439
00:17:43,380 --> 00:17:44,380
Shit.
440
00:18:00,610 --> 00:18:02,610
Throw a dick on a cactus.
441
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:08,570
Excuse me.
-Yeah.
442
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,978
Do you have a reason for being parked
443
00:18:09,980 --> 00:18:11,861
this lengthy a duration
in the neighborhood?
444
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,322
What, I couldn't live here?
445
00:18:14,770 --> 00:18:15,824
Do you live here?
446
00:18:15,830 --> 00:18:17,290
That's not my point, but, no.
447
00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:19,120
Sir, please answer the question.
448
00:18:19,210 --> 00:18:20,460
Uh...
449
00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:23,248
I'm kind of undercover here.
450
00:18:23,710 --> 00:18:25,630
I'm... working and...
451
00:18:25,710 --> 00:18:28,252
Wait, wait, wait.
You're an undercover cop?
452
00:18:28,253 --> 00:18:29,963
I'm trying not to blow my cover.
453
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:32,840
Oh, man. Of course.
-Yeah. Yeah.
454
00:18:32,930 --> 00:18:34,380
Great.
-I... I...
455
00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:36,220
I'll be your backup. I don't mind.
456
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,180
Us brothers in law enforcement,
457
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,020
we need to look out for each other.
458
00:18:40,050 --> 00:18:42,140
Well...
-I'll tell you what...
459
00:18:42,230 --> 00:18:43,770
That car right over there...
-Mm.
460
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:44,811
... I'll be in it.
461
00:18:44,820 --> 00:18:45,820
Okay.
462
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,690
Yep. I see you. You see it.
463
00:18:49,860 --> 00:18:51,280
Thank you, Barney Fife.
464
00:18:55,330 --> 00:18:56,960
Excuse me, Mrs. Creswell,
465
00:18:57,330 --> 00:18:59,040
you dropped this.
-Oh, thank you, hon.
466
00:18:59,670 --> 00:19:01,000
You're always so polite.
467
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,330
I can't help it, I was taught
to respect my elders.
468
00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:06,260
Okay, now, that was disrespectful,
calling me an elder.
469
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,720
I'm sorry.
-That's okay.
470
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:11,970
You got a good one, here.
471
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:13,680
Oh.
472
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:16,590
Yeah, yeah, I know.
473
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:17,720
No, I mean it.
474
00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:20,480
So what if she screwed up a little?
475
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:22,180
I mean, we all do.
476
00:19:29,110 --> 00:19:30,190
Yep, here we go.
477
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,540
Sir?
-Yes?
478
00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:35,750
What's your business here?
479
00:19:35,830 --> 00:19:37,330
Hey, fellas, no need to worry.
480
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,620
He is one of us us.
481
00:19:39,450 --> 00:19:40,450
Us?
482
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,120
Law enforcement.
483
00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:43,460
He's a cop!
484
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:44,750
Is that right?
485
00:19:45,710 --> 00:19:47,170
Yeah, well, show us your badge.
486
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:49,670
Uh, well...
-Are you a cop or not?
487
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,960
He straight up told me he was
a cop. See his binoculars?
488
00:19:51,970 --> 00:19:53,970
You said I was a cop.
489
00:19:54,050 --> 00:19:55,220
And you agreed with me.
490
00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:56,300
Mm.
491
00:19:57,140 --> 00:19:58,900
I'm a bail enforcement officer.
492
00:19:58,970 --> 00:20:01,430
Ah, a bounty hunter.
-Yeah, waiting on a skip.
493
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,110
And my lead is in the area.
494
00:20:03,190 --> 00:20:04,230
Where's your skip?
495
00:20:04,310 --> 00:20:05,980
Wait, your skip or your bounty?
496
00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:07,560
It's the same damn thing, idiot.
497
00:20:07,980 --> 00:20:11,770
Oh, boy. Your story's really
coming unraveled, huh?
498
00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:15,940
I'm gonna need to see the paperwork
you have on your skip, sir.
499
00:20:16,740 --> 00:20:20,660
Well, I'm not legally obligated to
share that information with you.
500
00:20:23,580 --> 00:20:24,830
But, you know what?
501
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:28,960
I'm feeling super duper nice today.
502
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,510
This was great, Debbie.
503
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:39,600
Oh, thank you.
504
00:20:40,390 --> 00:20:43,430
Come on, are we not gonna talk
about the elephant in the room?
505
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:44,520
Charlotte...
506
00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:47,860
What? You can't just put on
the perfect little party
507
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,110
and pretend like nothing's wrong.
508
00:20:51,070 --> 00:20:53,280
Crab puffs and cobbler
don't make us forget.
509
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:55,360
Wow, Charlotte.
510
00:20:56,070 --> 00:20:57,490
Okay, that's enough.
511
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:01,080
Listen, Sterling is a
wonderful daughter.
512
00:21:01,950 --> 00:21:03,330
She is a loving sister.
513
00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:06,790
She's an excellent student.
I mean, the list goes on and on.
514
00:21:07,170 --> 00:21:09,970
Yes, she drank alcohol... one time,
515
00:21:10,050 --> 00:21:12,050
but is that how you're gonna sum her up?
516
00:21:12,130 --> 00:21:13,630
Really? You of all people,
517
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,810
whose insides could pickle
a farmer's market?
518
00:21:18,470 --> 00:21:20,380
Mm. That's not the elephant
I was talking about.
519
00:21:20,970 --> 00:21:23,180
I was talking about Sterling
having sex with Luke.
520
00:21:28,730 --> 00:21:29,730
My Luke?
521
00:21:32,860 --> 00:21:35,830
Sterling had sex with my sweet Luke?
522
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,210
Ladies...
523
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,010
I know all about Sterling
and we are dealing with it.
524
00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:00,050
It's been a long day.
525
00:22:00,140 --> 00:22:03,400
I think it's time that you
take your cobbler to go.
526
00:22:06,770 --> 00:22:08,150
I would recommend an Uber.
527
00:22:17,150 --> 00:22:18,150
Sterling...
528
00:22:20,450 --> 00:22:22,790
I am so disappointed to hear this.
529
00:22:23,490 --> 00:22:24,990
Lynn!
-What?
530
00:22:25,910 --> 00:22:27,530
You know it takes two to tango.
531
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,160
I'll call you later.
532
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,070
Mama, I want to explain.
533
00:22:54,150 --> 00:22:56,200
Sterling, please give me a moment alone.
534
00:23:05,740 --> 00:23:07,660
Looks to me like this dude
535
00:23:07,750 --> 00:23:09,920
is pretending he's on the
force out of nostalgia.
536
00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:12,410
What is that supposed to mean?
537
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:16,880
You are looking at the man
who shot Officer Atticus.
538
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:18,920
Down in Florida?
539
00:23:20,180 --> 00:23:22,140
Ho-ly shit.
540
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,130
Hey, who's that?
541
00:23:24,220 --> 00:23:25,820
I want to know what we're talking about.
542
00:23:31,690 --> 00:23:32,690
Hi!
543
00:23:33,060 --> 00:23:36,440
I would love for you to
bring my car around.
544
00:23:36,530 --> 00:23:37,990
You actually can't leave now,
545
00:23:38,070 --> 00:23:39,780
our valet's on break, so...
546
00:23:39,860 --> 00:23:41,860
Union rules.
-No, I can do it.
547
00:23:41,950 --> 00:23:43,239
Sir, if you just...
-No, he can't!
548
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:44,440
Sorry, just one second.
549
00:23:45,740 --> 00:23:47,530
Couldn't you use a bathroom break?
550
00:23:47,950 --> 00:23:50,580
And they're putting away that
spinach dip, it's to die for!
551
00:23:50,660 --> 00:23:52,369
Blair, what...
-You've gotta have some before you go.
552
00:23:52,370 --> 00:23:55,460
Please, have some for me. Thank you.
Make me a plate and wait for me.
553
00:23:55,540 --> 00:23:56,540
Thank you.
554
00:23:57,550 --> 00:24:00,800
So, unfortunately,
our valet lost your car.
555
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:04,630
Well, it's a pink Cadillac...
-Uh-huh.
556
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,640
... license plate, "blessed",
557
00:24:06,810 --> 00:24:09,860
B-L-three-S-S-three-D.
558
00:24:09,930 --> 00:24:12,760
Yeah, he's colorblind.
559
00:24:13,270 --> 00:24:15,520
And a little bit dyslexic, but
that's between you and me.
560
00:24:15,940 --> 00:24:19,110
I'll just walk around the
neighborhood myself and find it.
561
00:24:19,140 --> 00:24:21,399
Can't be that far.
-Oh, I can't let you do that.
562
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:22,948
I'll drive you to your car.
-Oh, well...
563
00:24:22,950 --> 00:24:24,660
So...
564
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,160
We've been down this street already.
565
00:24:27,180 --> 00:24:28,370
Three times.
566
00:24:28,620 --> 00:24:30,580
Have we?
-Isn't there some sort of system
567
00:24:30,660 --> 00:24:32,369
for keeping track of where
the cars are parked?
568
00:24:32,370 --> 00:24:33,611
I really wouldn't know,
569
00:24:33,612 --> 00:24:35,500
I'm not a valet.
570
00:24:35,580 --> 00:24:37,830
If someone doesn't find my car soon,
571
00:24:38,380 --> 00:24:40,260
I'm calling the police.
572
00:24:42,420 --> 00:24:44,980
Well, wouldn't that be the tits?
-What the hell are you doing?
573
00:24:45,050 --> 00:24:47,550
I'm a real official bounty hunter!
574
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,520
And I know about the scam
that Kendra's running,
575
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,810
like "F Everything" and
"Om Shanti Shiny".
576
00:24:51,890 --> 00:24:53,979
You're covering for a con artist!
Give her up already!
577
00:24:53,980 --> 00:24:55,860
I don't know who you're talking about!
578
00:24:55,940 --> 00:24:59,280
Really? Kendra Saint John,
aka Candy Brunswick,
579
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:01,910
aka Connie McCready, aka your pimp!
580
00:25:01,930 --> 00:25:02,939
Stop it!
581
00:25:02,940 --> 00:25:04,860
Just tell me where she is.
-I don't know!
582
00:25:04,950 --> 00:25:06,700
Yes, you... Hey!
583
00:25:09,580 --> 00:25:10,580
Come back here!
584
00:25:16,170 --> 00:25:17,170
There she is.
585
00:25:26,260 --> 00:25:27,390
Shit! She has my keys!
586
00:25:32,430 --> 00:25:33,510
Hey!
587
00:25:36,140 --> 00:25:37,850
Get away from me, you crazy bitch!
588
00:25:37,940 --> 00:25:39,360
Watch your language! I'm a lady!
589
00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:46,940
Ah! Stop it!
590
00:25:47,550 --> 00:25:48,769
Get off of me!
-You're hurting me!
591
00:25:48,770 --> 00:25:49,779
You're hurting me!
592
00:25:49,780 --> 00:25:51,110
Ow!
593
00:25:52,830 --> 00:25:55,170
Sorry!
-You should be!
594
00:25:55,250 --> 00:25:56,630
Tell me where she is!
595
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:00,970
Fine.
596
00:26:01,670 --> 00:26:02,670
Shit!
597
00:26:04,010 --> 00:26:05,180
I'm Kendra Saint John.
598
00:26:07,090 --> 00:26:08,760
Is that, like, how you identify,
599
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,029
or is this, like, a case
of multiple personalities?
600
00:26:11,030 --> 00:26:12,049
No!
601
00:26:12,060 --> 00:26:14,480
She bailed... and I took over.
602
00:26:15,310 --> 00:26:16,690
No idea where she is.
603
00:26:16,770 --> 00:26:17,940
A confession!
-Ow!
604
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:19,610
Now I can bring you in.
605
00:26:20,690 --> 00:26:23,360
Except, you're not
technically the bail skip.
606
00:26:23,820 --> 00:26:24,820
Shit!
607
00:26:25,780 --> 00:26:26,950
Uh...
608
00:26:27,030 --> 00:26:28,580
I'm gonna go.
-No!
609
00:26:28,660 --> 00:26:30,500
Not until you promise to refund
610
00:26:30,570 --> 00:26:32,700
all the credit card transactions
that happened today.
611
00:26:32,780 --> 00:26:34,780
And you tell me every
single shred of information
612
00:26:34,870 --> 00:26:36,540
you have on Kendra Saint John.
613
00:26:37,290 --> 00:26:38,460
Got it?
614
00:26:38,540 --> 00:26:39,540
I'm waiting.
615
00:26:40,580 --> 00:26:43,250
Um, so, yeah. That guy was
pounding back champagne
616
00:26:43,340 --> 00:26:45,260
and I... I couldn't let him drive,
617
00:26:45,340 --> 00:26:46,890
but I didn't want to say anything
618
00:26:46,970 --> 00:26:48,930
and, like, bruise his fragile male ego.
619
00:26:49,010 --> 00:26:52,230
So I, you know, just drove him
around while he sobered up.
620
00:26:52,300 --> 00:26:55,090
Which he did, after he threw
up in someone's yard
621
00:26:55,180 --> 00:26:56,300
and then a dog ate it!
622
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:58,470
Um, cool. Yeah. Glad that's cleared up.
623
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:02,480
So...
624
00:27:04,190 --> 00:27:05,520
what the hell is going on?
625
00:27:05,610 --> 00:27:06,910
What?
-Well,
626
00:27:06,990 --> 00:27:08,870
first, you acted weird when I showed up.
627
00:27:08,950 --> 00:27:10,150
You weren't even, like, happy.
628
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:11,950
Then you tried to do my job.
629
00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:14,710
Then you went off with that dude!
630
00:27:15,370 --> 00:27:16,420
What's going on?
631
00:27:16,490 --> 00:27:17,490
You started it!
632
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,490
You can't show up unannounced
on a girl like that.
633
00:27:20,580 --> 00:27:21,580
Like, ever.
634
00:27:24,170 --> 00:27:25,170
Okay?
635
00:27:27,010 --> 00:27:28,470
Okay. All right, fine.
636
00:27:29,590 --> 00:27:30,590
Um...
637
00:27:30,630 --> 00:27:32,460
Maybe it wasn't the best surprise?
638
00:27:34,470 --> 00:27:35,470
I'll check next time.
639
00:27:37,930 --> 00:27:38,930
Okay.
640
00:27:40,050 --> 00:27:41,097
Thank you.
641
00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:42,100
Yeah.
642
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:48,020
You... You told me that you liked
me because I'm down to earth.
643
00:27:48,110 --> 00:27:52,120
And then, you show up as an
employee at my Richie Rich house
644
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:53,700
for my mom's Richie Rich party.
645
00:27:54,620 --> 00:27:56,250
I felt embarrassed, like...
646
00:27:57,290 --> 00:27:58,710
like you wouldn't like me anymore,
647
00:27:58,790 --> 00:28:00,500
or think I was cool, or whatever.
648
00:28:01,710 --> 00:28:02,710
For real?
649
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,010
Yeah, for real.
650
00:28:04,750 --> 00:28:06,459
I was hoping the first time
you came to my house
651
00:28:06,460 --> 00:28:09,080
would be, like, as my boyfriend
and, like, totally normal.
652
00:28:11,300 --> 00:28:13,010
Your boyfriend, huh?
653
00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:15,260
Maybe?
654
00:28:17,350 --> 00:28:19,310
Okay, I say we turned this day around.
655
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:22,270
Oh, this is my driveway.
656
00:28:22,350 --> 00:28:23,810
Uh, the next one on the right.
657
00:28:23,900 --> 00:28:24,900
Okay.
-Yeah.
658
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:34,660
All right. Peace.
659
00:28:34,740 --> 00:28:36,290
Uh, dude.
-What?
660
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:38,240
You're rich!
661
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:40,880
You said that your mom worked two jobs.
662
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,840
Well, she's a lawyer
and a state senator.
663
00:28:45,250 --> 00:28:46,410
Oh, yeah.
664
00:28:48,170 --> 00:28:49,180
And your dad?
665
00:28:49,420 --> 00:28:50,420
Owns a bank.
666
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:52,220
But, um, listen,
667
00:28:52,300 --> 00:28:54,060
I gotta go inside and get some shut-eye
668
00:28:54,260 --> 00:28:56,420
so I can wake up in the morning
and call my girlfriend.
669
00:28:59,010 --> 00:29:00,970
Well, your girlfriend's standing by.
670
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:11,480
May I come in?
671
00:29:12,820 --> 00:29:14,700
Yes, ma'am.
672
00:29:19,910 --> 00:29:21,420
Are you disappointed in me?
673
00:29:21,790 --> 00:29:22,790
Oh, honey.
674
00:29:28,330 --> 00:29:29,540
I don't know how I feel.
675
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:33,920
I just...
676
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,470
I don't understand how
something that feels so good
677
00:29:37,550 --> 00:29:38,840
could be wrong, you know?
678
00:29:38,930 --> 00:29:40,810
The Bible says so many different things
679
00:29:40,890 --> 00:29:43,060
and I really thought that
if you love somebody,
680
00:29:43,180 --> 00:29:44,850
then it would be okay
to do it, you know?
681
00:29:44,930 --> 00:29:47,220
I just feel so stupid, and...
682
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,690
And Blair said that his penis
was just right for me
683
00:29:50,770 --> 00:29:52,939
because we're in love, and...
-Okay. Yeah, thank you.
684
00:29:52,940 --> 00:29:53,940
Okay. Okay. Thank you.
685
00:29:54,740 --> 00:29:56,620
Oh, honey.
686
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:10,280
Were you ever gonna tell me...
687
00:30:10,790 --> 00:30:12,460
that you're... you know...
688
00:30:13,210 --> 00:30:15,790
active... activated...
689
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:19,088
That you have... sex.
690
00:30:19,090 --> 00:30:20,420
No, probably never.
691
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:23,720
Oh.
692
00:30:24,390 --> 00:30:25,470
That breaks my heart.
693
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:28,730
You could have told me.
694
00:30:30,230 --> 00:30:31,230
Really?
695
00:30:31,980 --> 00:30:32,980
Oh, honey.
696
00:30:35,780 --> 00:30:37,030
You are my whole world.
697
00:30:39,490 --> 00:30:41,080
I know I can be hard on y'all.
698
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,110
It's not to make you fear me.
699
00:30:45,660 --> 00:30:47,370
It's to make you stronger women.
700
00:30:48,540 --> 00:30:50,540
Lord knows I've sinned.
701
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,710
Yeah, but... not like this.
702
00:30:55,710 --> 00:30:57,340
Actually, exactly like this.
703
00:31:02,350 --> 00:31:03,810
Before I married your daddy.
704
00:31:08,020 --> 00:31:10,940
A different time in my life
when things weren't so perfect.
705
00:31:13,900 --> 00:31:14,900
Wow.
706
00:31:17,610 --> 00:31:20,530
But God still loves me,
and He forgives me...
707
00:31:21,870 --> 00:31:23,660
for all my many mistakes.
708
00:31:26,910 --> 00:31:28,830
Just like I know He forgives you.
709
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,000
Is it okay...
710
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,040
Is it okay that I don't regret it?
711
00:31:40,380 --> 00:31:43,460
Oh, I don't know, honey.
I don't have all the answers,
712
00:31:43,550 --> 00:31:44,550
but I do know...
713
00:31:46,850 --> 00:31:50,570
that life and the Lord put
us through challenges.
714
00:31:52,350 --> 00:31:53,978
And through those things,
we learn lessons
715
00:31:53,980 --> 00:31:55,976
we can't even imagine
learning on our own.
716
00:31:56,940 --> 00:32:01,480
Shoot, I thought the man I was with
before your father was the one.
717
00:32:03,870 --> 00:32:06,580
How did you find out that he wasn't?
718
00:32:11,290 --> 00:32:14,010
You know how you can
have a favorite dress
719
00:32:14,330 --> 00:32:16,210
you've been wearing for years, and...
720
00:32:16,790 --> 00:32:18,960
all of a sudden, one day you
look in the mirror, and...
721
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:21,890
for some reason it just
doesn't suit you anymore?
722
00:32:24,590 --> 00:32:26,550
You don't know why.
It just doesn't look the same.
723
00:32:27,970 --> 00:32:29,140
Same goes for people.
724
00:32:31,430 --> 00:32:32,890
Not everyone can go with you.
725
00:32:34,230 --> 00:32:35,440
It's nobody's fault.
726
00:32:36,690 --> 00:32:37,900
It just happens, honey.
727
00:32:39,900 --> 00:32:42,230
Yeah, but Luke and I are meant to be.
728
00:32:46,370 --> 00:32:47,370
That may be true.
729
00:32:57,420 --> 00:32:59,430
Were y'all at least... safe?
730
00:32:59,500 --> 00:33:01,290
Yeah, like, we used condoms.
731
00:33:01,380 --> 00:33:02,380
Oh, good!
732
00:33:02,670 --> 00:33:03,840
Thank goodness.
733
00:33:04,470 --> 00:33:05,470
That's good.
734
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:07,140
Or bad. Who knows?
735
00:33:11,100 --> 00:33:12,100
Sterling, honey...
736
00:33:15,310 --> 00:33:17,520
I love you.
-I love you, too.
737
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:19,143
Thank you.
738
00:33:19,150 --> 00:33:20,150
Of course.
739
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:25,580
Oh.
740
00:33:25,660 --> 00:33:27,790
Sweetheart, I spoke to Lynn Creswell.
741
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:31,710
She and I have decided that you and Luke
742
00:33:31,790 --> 00:33:33,290
need to press pause for now.
743
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:35,790
Really think about your choices.
744
00:33:43,340 --> 00:33:45,020
So what, we have to, like, break up?
745
00:33:45,050 --> 00:33:46,050
I don't know.
746
00:33:46,430 --> 00:33:47,430
I feel numb.
747
00:33:48,300 --> 00:33:49,469
I think I'm having a heart attack.
748
00:33:49,470 --> 00:33:51,550
Are you sure your foot's
not asleep again?
749
00:33:52,350 --> 00:33:53,600
Oh, my gosh, it is.
750
00:33:54,350 --> 00:33:55,559
What am I gonna do without you?
751
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,270
You guys are gonna be fine.
752
00:33:57,350 --> 00:33:59,430
Yeah. Did you hear that, baby?
753
00:34:00,110 --> 00:34:03,200
We're gonna be okay.
We'll see each other at school,
754
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,640
we'll tell our parents that were
thinking about our choices.
755
00:34:05,820 --> 00:34:06,820
We'll figure it out.
756
00:34:06,860 --> 00:34:08,820
I know. We're gonna get through it.
757
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:10,700
It can't be that bad, right?
758
00:34:11,370 --> 00:34:13,500
Oh, um, I wrote you a song.
759
00:34:13,580 --> 00:34:16,920
I hope it's just one tenth
as beautiful as you are
760
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,050
and I'll be happy.
761
00:34:19,900 --> 00:34:21,410
Here it goes...
762
00:34:22,420 --> 00:34:26,210
* S... Sterling, oh... *
763
00:34:26,300 --> 00:34:27,720
Oh, wait, hold on. Uh...
764
00:34:28,590 --> 00:34:34,220
* Your eyes are as beautiful *
* As the ocean *
765
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:37,560
* Oh, I wanna feel your motion *
766
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,140
Luke Aaron Creswell!
767
00:34:40,940 --> 00:34:42,530
Here comes the hammer.
768
00:34:42,610 --> 00:34:44,110
Uh...
769
00:34:44,190 --> 00:34:45,270
I'll see you in heaven.
770
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:46,860
I love you.
771
00:34:50,240 --> 00:34:51,240
Sterl...
772
00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:55,780
just take a little space, like Mom said.
773
00:34:56,370 --> 00:34:58,620
And y'all can hang out
at school all you want.
774
00:34:58,710 --> 00:34:59,800
You're right.
775
00:34:59,870 --> 00:35:02,410
She can't, like, stop
me from loving him.
776
00:35:02,500 --> 00:35:03,500
Exactly.
777
00:35:04,130 --> 00:35:05,930
And maybe in your time apart,
778
00:35:06,210 --> 00:35:07,750
he'll get to finishing that song.
779
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:08,840
Yeah.
780
00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,140
Any word from Bowser?
-No, still nothing.
781
00:35:14,970 --> 00:35:16,390
It's been hours, Sterl.
782
00:35:16,970 --> 00:35:19,140
Something's not right. I'm worried.
783
00:35:19,230 --> 00:35:20,230
Me, too.
784
00:35:25,860 --> 00:35:26,860
Top five...
785
00:35:27,940 --> 00:35:30,070
saddest things you've ever heard of.
786
00:35:34,990 --> 00:35:36,740
Those dogs with only three legs,
787
00:35:36,830 --> 00:35:39,170
so they just walk around
with only three legs,
788
00:35:39,250 --> 00:35:40,409
and they don't speak English,
789
00:35:40,410 --> 00:35:43,080
so no one can ever tell them
what they're missing out on.
790
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,840
That's a really good one.
-Thanks.
791
00:35:47,550 --> 00:35:48,680
Hmm.
792
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:49,800
How about...
793
00:35:51,220 --> 00:35:53,140
the day after Christmas.
794
00:35:53,220 --> 00:35:54,230
Global warming.
795
00:35:55,140 --> 00:35:56,140
Yeah.
796
00:35:58,890 --> 00:36:00,430
People who don't have sisters.
797
00:36:12,240 --> 00:36:13,240
It's Yolanda.
798
00:36:14,670 --> 00:36:16,520
Hello?
-Hey, girls.
799
00:36:16,540 --> 00:36:18,450
Guess who landed his ass in jail?
800
00:36:18,540 --> 00:36:19,670
Did you say in jail?
801
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:27,039
Want more water?
802
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:28,240
Did they give you water?
803
00:36:28,250 --> 00:36:29,875
I heard they don't even
give you water in jail.
804
00:36:29,876 --> 00:36:32,000
I was in there 47 minutes,
okay? I'm good.
805
00:36:32,090 --> 00:36:34,250
Why'd they even have
the right to bring you in?
806
00:36:34,300 --> 00:36:36,010
What was the charge, loitering?
807
00:36:38,220 --> 00:36:40,090
I used colorful language
808
00:36:40,180 --> 00:36:42,850
to remind them that police
work is all just bullshit.
809
00:36:43,390 --> 00:36:44,500
And that they use the law
810
00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,320
as retroactive justification
for their bad decisions.
811
00:36:47,340 --> 00:36:49,510
That's what I told them.
-He called them "pigs".
812
00:36:50,570 --> 00:36:52,280
You really don't like cops.
-Nope.
813
00:36:53,030 --> 00:36:54,240
That's why I left the force.
814
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:55,400
Wwwhat?
815
00:36:55,490 --> 00:36:56,490
You were a cop?
816
00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:58,370
Do you want me to tell them?
817
00:37:00,290 --> 00:37:01,290
All right.
818
00:37:03,870 --> 00:37:05,620
I was at the Tallahassee
Gay Pride parade...
819
00:37:05,710 --> 00:37:07,720
You're gay?
820
00:37:07,790 --> 00:37:10,210
No, not gay.
821
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,790
I was assigned to protect
Shelita Pancake,
822
00:37:14,340 --> 00:37:15,800
Florida's number one drag queen.
823
00:37:16,970 --> 00:37:18,180
First hour was cool.
824
00:37:18,260 --> 00:37:20,050
I was with Officer Atticus...
825
00:37:21,020 --> 00:37:22,100
behind a float.
826
00:37:23,230 --> 00:37:25,230
Shelita was doing a death
drop in a cat suit,
827
00:37:25,310 --> 00:37:26,430
you know, basic parade shit.
828
00:37:28,020 --> 00:37:29,640
Then I heard a car backfire.
829
00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:32,770
And I figure, here
comes some crazy fool,
830
00:37:33,530 --> 00:37:34,580
gonna shoot up the place.
831
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:36,620
So, I pulled out my gun.
832
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,450
I guess I pulled it out
too fast 'cause, uh...
833
00:37:40,030 --> 00:37:42,070
the gun went off and shot
Atticus in the nose.
834
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:43,640
You shot somebody?
-You shot a cop?
835
00:37:44,370 --> 00:37:45,370
It was a horse.
836
00:37:46,580 --> 00:37:48,000
Well, the horse was on the force.
837
00:37:48,330 --> 00:37:49,410
So, you shot a horse?
838
00:37:50,340 --> 00:37:51,630
A horse on the force.
839
00:37:51,710 --> 00:37:53,250
A horse on the force is a cop.
840
00:37:53,340 --> 00:37:54,340
Of course.
841
00:37:54,630 --> 00:37:56,880
Oh.
-Anyway, he's fine.
842
00:37:57,340 --> 00:37:58,800
Has half a mouth full of teeth,
843
00:37:58,890 --> 00:38:00,560
and he's living on porridge.
844
00:38:02,060 --> 00:38:04,980
Pretty soon, there wasn't a
squad room I could walk into
845
00:38:05,060 --> 00:38:06,520
that wouldn't laugh me out.
846
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:10,480
So, I quit.
847
00:38:14,490 --> 00:38:15,570
I'm sorry, Bowser.
848
00:38:15,650 --> 00:38:16,770
C'mon, I'm fine.
849
00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:20,080
I just wish we'd caught
our skip, you know?
850
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,870
Mm. You and me both, Buster.
851
00:38:22,290 --> 00:38:25,130
Now it's back to the fucking drawing
board with that crazy bitch.
852
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,580
Wait, you guys, we could
still salvage this case.
853
00:38:27,670 --> 00:38:29,430
John told me that the
last time he saw Kendra
854
00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:31,160
was a year ago in Knoxville.
855
00:38:31,250 --> 00:38:32,250
We could go there.
856
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:34,840
That is just a hop, skip and
a jump from Dollywood.
857
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,500
Oh, my God, and they have
excellent funnel cakes! Please!
858
00:38:37,630 --> 00:38:38,880
Everybody calm down.
859
00:38:40,140 --> 00:38:41,430
We're not taking a field trip.
860
00:38:41,510 --> 00:38:42,800
No.
861
00:38:44,270 --> 00:38:45,400
Sometimes it's...
862
00:38:47,730 --> 00:38:49,980
best if you just cut
your losses and move on.
863
00:38:50,940 --> 00:38:52,110
Trust me, I know.
864
00:38:54,650 --> 00:38:55,810
Drive safe, kids.
865
00:38:58,150 --> 00:38:59,150
Give him his space.
866
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:00,660
That's not really our thing.
867
00:39:00,740 --> 00:39:01,940
Well, it needs to be.
868
00:39:02,030 --> 00:39:04,660
When all this shit went down
he didn't just quit his job,
869
00:39:04,950 --> 00:39:06,820
he lost his marriage to my loca sister,
870
00:39:06,910 --> 00:39:09,040
his reputation, his body...
871
00:39:10,250 --> 00:39:12,050
Dude fell apart.
872
00:39:12,130 --> 00:39:14,680
No. That's absurd.
873
00:39:14,750 --> 00:39:15,750
Yeah.
874
00:39:17,670 --> 00:39:20,840
Anyway, y'all get the
skip next time, will ya?
875
00:39:21,390 --> 00:39:23,029
I don't do this shit for my health.
876
00:39:24,060 --> 00:39:25,090
Sorry.
877
00:39:30,140 --> 00:39:31,350
I'm having an epiphany.
878
00:39:31,770 --> 00:39:33,430
We should order waffles, you're right.
879
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:34,520
No.
880
00:39:35,980 --> 00:39:38,270
What if God put us here to fix Bowser?
881
00:39:39,780 --> 00:39:41,780
I mean, like, to make him
feel better about himself
882
00:39:41,820 --> 00:39:44,150
so that he could, like, level up.
883
00:39:47,870 --> 00:39:48,870
Aw.
884
00:39:49,620 --> 00:39:50,830
I like that, that's sweet.
885
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:51,920
Right?
886
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:53,540
I'm in.
887
00:39:54,130 --> 00:39:55,410
Did they leave us with the bill?
888
00:39:58,410 --> 00:40:02,410
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