All language subtitles for South Park - 18x07 - Grounded Vindaloop.HDTV.KILLERS.en

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,234 --> 00:00:07,266 sync and corrections by dreaMaker7 www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:41,673 It's all so real! This is amazing! 3 00:00:41,699 --> 00:00:46,002 It's like I'm there! I see all our friends at school! 4 00:00:46,028 --> 00:00:50,284 Oh, wow! If I hold up my hands, I can see them, too! Whoa! 5 00:00:50,310 --> 00:00:56,458 Wow! You were right! I can actually feel it! 6 00:00:56,484 --> 00:00:58,270 Butters, what the hell are you doing? 7 00:00:58,296 --> 00:01:00,631 I feel Stan! He looks totally real! 8 00:01:00,657 --> 00:01:02,987 That's awesome, Butters. Keep making your way down the 9 00:01:03,013 --> 00:01:04,513 hallway. Your vital signs are looking 10 00:01:04,539 --> 00:01:06,707 good. What do you see now? 11 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,985 - More of the school. - What are you doing, Butters? 12 00:01:09,011 --> 00:01:11,724 The school and all the kids. I still can't hear any sound 13 00:01:11,750 --> 00:01:13,911 - except for your voice. - Yeah, they haven't worked out 14 00:01:13,937 --> 00:01:17,041 the audio yet, but... he's so fuc[bleep] stupid. 15 00:01:17,067 --> 00:01:18,617 But I'm sure they will soon. 16 00:01:18,643 --> 00:01:20,694 Ugh. Okay. I think I'm done Eric. 17 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,223 I-I'm feeling kind of dizzy and, uh... 18 00:01:22,247 --> 00:01:23,407 Butters, no! Are you crazy? 19 00:01:23,415 --> 00:01:24,832 - What?! What?! What?! - What did I tell you about 20 00:01:24,858 --> 00:01:26,609 removing the headset when you're not back at the access hub? 21 00:01:26,835 --> 00:01:28,969 Oh, yeah... that it would split my neurons and scramble my 22 00:01:29,087 --> 00:01:30,387 brains! I forgot! 23 00:01:30,505 --> 00:01:32,225 You forgot your neurons would be torn apart? 24 00:01:32,257 --> 00:01:34,308 Did you also forget that if you die in virtual reality, you die 25 00:01:34,426 --> 00:01:36,677 - in real life, Butters? - I'm sorry! 26 00:01:36,811 --> 00:01:38,331 You need find your way back to my room. 27 00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:39,647 - Can you do that? - Yeah! 28 00:01:39,764 --> 00:01:41,902 We only have eight minutes before the battery protocols die Butters. 29 00:01:41,928 --> 00:01:43,956 - You have to hurry. - Oh, Jesus! 30 00:01:52,209 --> 00:01:54,787 - Okay. I'm back at your room! - All right, Butters, sit down 31 00:01:54,813 --> 00:01:56,780 at the computer. Now drop the stafernasy window. 32 00:01:56,915 --> 00:02:00,030 - We're just gonna make it. - Stafernasy window dropped! 33 00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:07,066 Welcome back, dude. 34 00:02:07,092 --> 00:02:11,212 - Wow. That was cool. - How do you feel? You feel ok? 35 00:02:11,238 --> 00:02:13,130 I touched Wendy's boob. 36 00:02:13,156 --> 00:02:16,241 And then... and then he... he 37 00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:18,469 took of the shop goggles, and was all like, "Whoa, I'm back!" 38 00:02:18,603 --> 00:02:20,170 Damn it if it's not the 39 00:02:20,271 --> 00:02:22,906 - awesomest thing ever! - Sounds pretty typical to me. 40 00:02:22,932 --> 00:02:24,773 Come on, guys. This is the "Cure de gars" of 41 00:02:24,799 --> 00:02:27,514 - Butters torture. - "Coup de grace," Cartman. 42 00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:29,668 - Thank you, Kyle. - Poor Butters. 43 00:02:29,694 --> 00:02:31,835 - Can't you just leave him alone? - Dude, Butters is an asshole, 44 00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:34,059 and he deserves to be taken down once in a while, okay? 45 00:02:34,085 --> 00:02:35,753 Hey, Eric! What did you say to the 46 00:02:35,779 --> 00:02:37,196 principal for missing first period? 47 00:02:37,222 --> 00:02:38,995 Not that we were doing anything interesting. 48 00:02:39,021 --> 00:02:40,471 Right, Eric? 49 00:02:40,497 --> 00:02:42,503 Yeah, I just told her I was running late and it won't happen again. 50 00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:43,447 You know what I said? 51 00:02:43,473 --> 00:02:45,762 She asked me why I wasn't in school, and I said, "Well, 52 00:02:45,796 --> 00:02:48,396 technically, I was at school." Tee hee! 53 00:02:48,422 --> 00:02:50,659 Sorry, guys, but Eric and I know a little something you don't... 54 00:02:50,685 --> 00:02:51,985 Not that it's anything that cool. 55 00:02:52,103 --> 00:02:53,231 - Right, Eric? - Right, Butters. 56 00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:56,391 - These guys are so dumb, huh? - Yeah! 57 00:02:57,247 --> 00:02:58,926 See? He's an asshole. Fuc[bleep] him. 58 00:03:01,663 --> 00:03:03,497 Each time you go into the virtual world, 59 00:03:03,523 --> 00:03:05,166 it becomes more and more dangerous. 60 00:03:05,192 --> 00:03:07,531 Are you absolutely sure you want to do this, Butters? 61 00:03:07,557 --> 00:03:10,878 - Well, not 100%. - Even 10% is good enough. 62 00:03:10,904 --> 00:03:16,106 - Here you go. - Okay. Subject is ready. 63 00:03:16,132 --> 00:03:19,228 All right, Butters, I'm booting up the core competency now. 64 00:03:19,254 --> 00:03:21,680 Edifice framework is online. Vital signs appear to be 65 00:03:21,706 --> 00:03:22,940 normal. Interim status? 66 00:03:22,966 --> 00:03:24,400 Interim status is go! 67 00:03:25,947 --> 00:03:27,877 Digital malcontent now at 68 00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,304 parameter Alpha. Prepare for full graphic 69 00:03:29,330 --> 00:03:33,990 interfacing on my mark. Five, four, three, two, one, 70 00:03:34,016 --> 00:03:36,393 mark. 71 00:03:36,590 --> 00:03:38,651 It worked! I'm back in! 72 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:41,310 - All systems normal! - All right, Butters, behind 73 00:03:41,336 --> 00:03:43,264 you, you should see the door. Go through it and head outside. 74 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:49,295 Going now! 75 00:03:49,321 --> 00:03:50,642 Everything looks good, Butters. 76 00:03:50,668 --> 00:03:51,751 You're doing great. Let's get to work. 77 00:03:51,777 --> 00:03:53,101 Okay. 78 00:03:59,815 --> 00:04:02,950 How much more of this am I 79 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,519 - supposed to clear up? - You're doing great. 80 00:04:05,545 --> 00:04:07,326 Almost done with this level, Butters. 81 00:04:07,352 --> 00:04:09,449 Just make sure you've cleared the driveway and, uh, walkway of 82 00:04:09,475 --> 00:04:10,898 - all the virtual snow. - Okay! 83 00:04:10,924 --> 00:04:14,356 It's so realistic! The snow looks kind of fake, though. 84 00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:19,853 All right, I think that's all of it! 85 00:04:20,411 --> 00:04:21,869 Okay, nice, Butters. 86 00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,496 Um, now go to the front door and ring the doorbell. 87 00:04:23,522 --> 00:04:26,491 This is the part where you collect the money. 88 00:04:26,662 --> 00:04:29,530 There's a old fat lady here! She's holding out money for me! 89 00:04:29,556 --> 00:04:32,621 - Just take the money, Butters. - Okay, I got it! 90 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,014 You got the money? Okay, great, Butters. 91 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,483 Now get back to the access point. 92 00:04:35,617 --> 00:04:37,618 Already? Aw, no! 93 00:04:37,752 --> 00:04:39,272 Yeah, Butters. The discrepancy bars are 94 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:42,120 oscillating. You need to, um, come back. 95 00:04:42,146 --> 00:04:45,725 Are you heading back, Butters? Butters? 96 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,065 All right, Butters, you should get back to the access point now. 97 00:04:49,091 --> 00:04:50,183 You're going off grid. 98 00:04:50,209 --> 00:04:54,666 I'm sorry, Eric, but there's just one thing I got to do real quick. 99 00:04:59,525 --> 00:05:02,087 There you are, mister! Just what do you think you're doing? 100 00:05:02,113 --> 00:05:03,580 Hello, dad! It's me... Butters! 101 00:05:03,606 --> 00:05:05,057 I know that. What are you... 102 00:05:05,083 --> 00:05:06,803 This is for all the times I got grounded. 103 00:05:06,829 --> 00:05:09,397 Ohh! Ohh. Ohh. 104 00:05:09,423 --> 00:05:12,246 Ha! I could almost feel his balls on my fist! 105 00:05:12,272 --> 00:05:14,307 How'd you like that, dad? 106 00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:16,507 Butters, why?! Oh, my God! 107 00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:19,544 - That was incredible! - Uh, Butters, uh, get back to 108 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:21,538 - the access point now. - I feel amazing! 109 00:05:21,564 --> 00:05:23,965 I'm back outside now! 110 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,526 I'm a bad man! You hear me? 111 00:05:26,552 --> 00:05:30,122 Take that, you stupid cars! 112 00:05:30,148 --> 00:05:31,612 What the hell are you doing, kid? 113 00:05:31,638 --> 00:05:34,148 Butters, it's, uh, time to stop. Get back to my place. 114 00:05:34,174 --> 00:05:36,751 Who's the man now? I'm gonna take his car! 115 00:05:36,777 --> 00:05:39,479 - This is like "Grand theft auto"! - Hey! 116 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,439 Whoa! I'm in the car now! 117 00:05:41,473 --> 00:05:46,036 Oh shit. Butters, Butters, where are you now? 118 00:05:46,062 --> 00:05:48,787 I'm in the bad part of town! I just hit a lamppost! 119 00:05:48,813 --> 00:05:51,236 I'm back on my feet. Oh, oh, that's cool. 120 00:05:51,262 --> 00:05:53,703 - There's a prostitute out here. - Okay, Butters, let's call it 121 00:05:53,729 --> 00:05:55,329 - good, okay? - I'm gonna beat her up and 122 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,419 - take her money! - Wait. Hang on Butters. 123 00:05:57,445 --> 00:06:00,028 - Take that, you dumb hooker! - What you doing, [Bleep] 124 00:06:00,054 --> 00:06:02,936 I'm taking your money! Oh. Oh, she stabbed me. 125 00:06:02,962 --> 00:06:05,184 - Uh, the hooker stabbed me. - Butters, get back to my room 126 00:06:05,210 --> 00:06:07,011 the veracrosses are destabilizing. 127 00:06:07,037 --> 00:06:09,713 I can't... I can't breathe too good, Eric. 128 00:06:09,739 --> 00:06:12,682 I can't see. Are you still there? 129 00:06:12,708 --> 00:06:16,720 Oh. I think I overdid it. I got to take this thing off. 130 00:06:16,746 --> 00:06:18,964 What the hell? What hell is that?! 131 00:06:18,990 --> 00:06:21,224 - Aah! - Butters? 132 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:23,049 Butters? 133 00:06:25,367 --> 00:06:27,218 You're very lucky, young man. 134 00:06:27,244 --> 00:06:30,146 You've got a couple hairline fractures, but the knife missed 135 00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:34,175 - your spleen by half an inch. - I-I d-didn't think a knife 136 00:06:34,201 --> 00:06:36,172 could really hurt me. I thought I was just in a 137 00:06:36,198 --> 00:06:38,683 - virtual reality. - No, you actually got stabbed 138 00:06:38,709 --> 00:06:40,110 by a hooker. We've called your parents, and 139 00:06:40,136 --> 00:06:43,370 they're on their way. Your dad wanted me to let you 140 00:06:43,396 --> 00:06:46,053 know that you're grounded more than you can possibly imagine. 141 00:06:46,079 --> 00:06:48,329 - Aw, nuts. - Try and relax, and when 142 00:06:48,355 --> 00:06:50,223 you're parents get here, we'll sort this all out. 143 00:06:53,056 --> 00:06:54,790 Wonder how long I'm grounded for. 144 00:06:55,222 --> 00:06:58,274 - Butters. - Aah! 145 00:06:58,300 --> 00:06:59,500 - Are you okay? - Eric! 146 00:06:59,526 --> 00:07:02,061 - What are you doing here? - I'm not here, Butters. 147 00:07:02,087 --> 00:07:04,088 - What? - This is going to be hard to 148 00:07:04,114 --> 00:07:06,377 understand Butters, but you've become trapped in the 149 00:07:06,403 --> 00:07:08,704 simulation. None of this is real. 150 00:07:11,261 --> 00:07:13,331 - Nuh-unh! - Yeah-huh. 151 00:07:13,357 --> 00:07:15,806 I told you never to take the headset off outside the access 152 00:07:15,832 --> 00:07:17,938 point, didn't I? We're actually both at my house 153 00:07:17,964 --> 00:07:19,765 right now. You're wearing the headset, and 154 00:07:19,791 --> 00:07:21,058 I'm talking to you as a computer program. 155 00:07:21,084 --> 00:07:25,087 That's why I can... manipulate reality. 156 00:07:25,781 --> 00:07:27,819 What?! 157 00:07:29,129 --> 00:07:30,730 You see, in this world, 158 00:07:30,756 --> 00:07:36,093 - things aren't what they seem. - Aah! Okay, stop! Stop! 159 00:07:36,119 --> 00:07:38,253 Listen to me carefully, Butters. 160 00:07:38,279 --> 00:07:39,579 The oculus compromise has been streamlined. 161 00:07:39,605 --> 00:07:41,229 You can't trust anyone in this reality. 162 00:07:41,255 --> 00:07:43,653 Say nothing to no one about the oculus rift. 163 00:07:43,679 --> 00:07:45,502 If you think they know, they will kill you. 164 00:07:45,528 --> 00:07:48,397 - How do you know that? - How would I know that the 165 00:07:48,423 --> 00:07:50,257 nurse is about to walk through that door? 166 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,242 Everything okay in here? 167 00:07:53,268 --> 00:07:56,036 Aah! Yes! Yes, everything's fine! 168 00:07:56,062 --> 00:07:58,764 - Okay. - Butters. 169 00:07:58,790 --> 00:08:00,003 - No! - I'm gonna get you back to 170 00:08:00,029 --> 00:08:01,396 reality, Butters, but you have to give me time. 171 00:08:01,977 --> 00:08:03,344 I've got to go. The orion parameters are 172 00:08:03,370 --> 00:08:05,203 embellishing. Just stay quiet. 173 00:08:13,418 --> 00:08:14,965 Well, are you happy, Cartman? 174 00:08:14,991 --> 00:08:16,825 Butters is completely traumatized. 175 00:08:16,851 --> 00:08:18,751 I'm happy that I totally got away with it. 176 00:08:18,777 --> 00:08:22,519 What's a 911 area code? 177 00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:24,121 - Hello? - Hello, Eric. 178 00:08:24,147 --> 00:08:26,009 My name is Steve from Oculus 179 00:08:26,035 --> 00:08:28,837 Customer Service. There seems to be an error with 180 00:08:28,863 --> 00:08:32,431 our virtual headsets, and on behalf of the company, I would 181 00:08:32,457 --> 00:08:35,176 like to apologize and try to help. 182 00:08:35,287 --> 00:08:37,147 - With what? - This is going to be very 183 00:08:37,173 --> 00:08:40,344 jarring for you, but there's been a malfunction with the 184 00:08:40,370 --> 00:08:43,333 headset you ordered from us. Right now, you're actually in 185 00:08:43,359 --> 00:08:46,728 your room, at your computer, wearing an oculus headset, but 186 00:08:46,754 --> 00:08:50,390 you're in a coma-like trance, my friend. 187 00:08:50,633 --> 00:08:54,169 - [Bleep] you. - I understand your shock, my friend. 188 00:08:54,195 --> 00:08:56,911 friend, but you have simply been in the virtual world so long, 189 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:59,278 - you have forgotten. - You should probably listen to 190 00:08:59,304 --> 00:09:00,784 - him, dude. - Uh-huh. 191 00:09:00,810 --> 00:09:02,444 'Cause I thought I was messing with Butters, but I'm actually 192 00:09:02,470 --> 00:09:03,331 the one trapped in virtual reality. 193 00:09:03,357 --> 00:09:07,503 The people you are talking to are just computer programs, my friend. 194 00:09:07,529 --> 00:09:09,330 Guys, tell him you're not computer programs. 195 00:09:10,113 --> 00:09:12,034 Maybe we are. 196 00:09:12,406 --> 00:09:15,244 Kyle, just don't be a dick right now. 197 00:09:15,270 --> 00:09:16,378 I know this is very hard for 198 00:09:16,404 --> 00:09:18,179 you, but we don't have a lot of time. 199 00:09:18,205 --> 00:09:20,973 You really think I'm that stupid, that I'd believe all of 200 00:09:20,999 --> 00:09:23,374 this, all along, has been me living out some kind of virtual 201 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,760 reality fantasy? [Bleep] you. 202 00:09:27,705 --> 00:09:30,045 Eric? 203 00:09:30,071 --> 00:09:33,723 Poopsiekins? Eric? 204 00:09:36,129 --> 00:09:38,263 Honey, maybe that's enough computer time. 205 00:09:38,289 --> 00:09:40,829 It's been about 19 hours now. 206 00:09:41,989 --> 00:09:43,989 I know you said not to disturb 207 00:09:44,015 --> 00:09:47,050 you with your new toy, but mommy thought maybe you needed to eat. 208 00:09:47,537 --> 00:09:51,006 All right, I'll just leave it here, hon. 209 00:09:51,032 --> 00:09:55,295 I'm turning in for the night. Mommy loves you. 210 00:09:55,656 --> 00:09:58,599 What kind of person did we raise you to be?! 211 00:09:58,625 --> 00:10:01,415 You think this world is just there for your amusement?! 212 00:10:01,441 --> 00:10:04,138 You are not to leave this room, and you are not allowed to use 213 00:10:04,164 --> 00:10:06,348 - the phone or computer! - Please! 214 00:10:06,374 --> 00:10:07,808 You can't do that! I have to find a way out of 215 00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:09,918 - this! - Oh, no, mister. 216 00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:12,481 You are grounded! 217 00:10:20,122 --> 00:10:23,879 - Are you [Bleep] with me? - What? What do you mean? 218 00:10:23,905 --> 00:10:26,323 Butters, I'm seriously. Are you [Bleep] with me? 219 00:10:26,349 --> 00:10:29,767 - I don't know what you mean... - Because if you are, it's not cool. 220 00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:31,213 Eric, you said you were gonna 221 00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:32,656 get me out of this virtual world. 222 00:10:32,682 --> 00:10:35,122 Butters, I talked to oculus customer service, and they said 223 00:10:35,148 --> 00:10:37,484 I'm the one who's wearing a headset and has forgotten he's 224 00:10:37,510 --> 00:10:38,844 - in virtual reality. - Oh, really? 225 00:10:38,870 --> 00:10:41,071 - Oh, that's a relief. - Oh, it's a relief, huh? 226 00:10:41,097 --> 00:10:43,137 Well, guess what, Butters. If I'm the one trapped in 227 00:10:43,163 --> 00:10:45,461 virtual reality, that means that you're nothing but a computer 228 00:10:45,487 --> 00:10:47,104 - program! - Oh, God! 229 00:10:47,130 --> 00:10:48,211 - That's right! - Oh, God! 230 00:10:48,237 --> 00:10:50,371 That's right! Now, you better stop messing 231 00:10:50,397 --> 00:10:51,831 around Butters so I can help you out of this. 232 00:10:51,857 --> 00:10:53,629 Because you know how I said if you die in virtual reality, you 233 00:10:53,655 --> 00:10:55,222 - die in real life? - Yeah. 234 00:10:55,248 --> 00:10:56,948 Well, if you get grounded in virtual reality, you get 235 00:10:56,974 --> 00:10:59,931 grounded in real life, too... Forever! 236 00:11:03,847 --> 00:11:05,269 Hello? 237 00:11:05,295 --> 00:11:08,564 Kyle, it's Butters. I've been grounded! 238 00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:11,009 - Again? - No, no, you don't understand. 239 00:11:11,035 --> 00:11:13,503 This time, I've been grounded for no good reason. 240 00:11:13,529 --> 00:11:16,231 - I didn't do anything, Kyle. - Uh-huh. 241 00:11:16,257 --> 00:11:18,358 I think there's something supernatural going on. 242 00:11:18,384 --> 00:11:20,919 I asked my dad why I was being grounded, and he said that for 243 00:11:20,945 --> 00:11:23,013 asking him, that I was more grounded. 244 00:11:23,039 --> 00:11:25,808 - It doesn't make sense! - Butters, Butters I'm... I'm 245 00:11:25,834 --> 00:11:27,702 - kind of super busy right now. - Please! 246 00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:30,160 Just go to Cartman's house! I think the answer might be 247 00:11:30,186 --> 00:11:31,066 - within the... - Butters! 248 00:11:31,092 --> 00:11:34,895 - Who is that?! - Aah! 249 00:11:44,714 --> 00:11:46,881 You found Cartman like this, and you think he's somehow 250 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:50,910 - trapped in virtual reality? - Mrph! 251 00:11:50,936 --> 00:11:53,638 - [Bleep] you. - Mrph? 252 00:11:53,664 --> 00:11:55,732 - Get up, Cartman. - Mrph rmhmhm rm! 253 00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:57,477 Okay, then let's take him to the hospital. 254 00:11:57,503 --> 00:12:00,004 You hear that, fatso? You're going to the hospital! 255 00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:04,426 - Kyle, maybe this is for real. - [Bleep] you if you're in on this. 256 00:12:04,452 --> 00:12:06,091 In on what? 257 00:12:06,897 --> 00:12:10,667 - Oh, [Bleep] you. - Yes, no, sorry. 258 00:12:10,693 --> 00:12:13,013 But because you bought two business-class tickets, I cannot 259 00:12:13,039 --> 00:12:15,492 refund the fares. That's right. 260 00:12:15,518 --> 00:12:17,852 There is nothing we can do. All right. 261 00:12:17,878 --> 00:12:20,021 Have I answered all your customer concerns in a timely, 262 00:12:20,047 --> 00:12:22,282 polite manner? Thank you for calling Korean 263 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,589 airlines customer service. El pollo loco customer service. 264 00:12:24,615 --> 00:12:26,639 - This is Steve. - Oh. 265 00:12:26,665 --> 00:12:28,926 Uh, we're trying to reach oculus customer service. 266 00:12:28,952 --> 00:12:31,053 Oh, yes. Uh, yes, my friend. 267 00:12:31,079 --> 00:12:33,114 Oculus customer service. This is Steve. 268 00:12:33,140 --> 00:12:35,526 Yeah, our friend had been missing for a few days, so we 269 00:12:35,552 --> 00:12:37,887 went and checked on him, and he's in a coma, wearing your headset. 270 00:12:37,913 --> 00:12:39,138 Oh, yes, yes! 271 00:12:39,164 --> 00:12:41,398 - What is your name, please? - Kyle. 272 00:12:41,424 --> 00:12:44,600 Kyle, I need to advise you that this call may be recorded 273 00:12:44,626 --> 00:12:46,894 to help with better customer service in the future. 274 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,256 - Is that agreeable to you? - I don't care. 275 00:12:49,282 --> 00:12:51,383 He doesn't care! I can continue! 276 00:12:51,409 --> 00:12:53,677 All right, listen very carefully, my friend. 277 00:12:53,703 --> 00:12:57,039 The headset we sold you are having some minor problems. 278 00:12:57,416 --> 00:12:59,584 You mean he's actually stuck in virtual reality? 279 00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:02,044 Yes, and that is why we are trying to locate all the 280 00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:04,640 headsets and do a recall. Do you understand? 281 00:13:04,666 --> 00:13:07,234 It is a total recall. 282 00:13:08,016 --> 00:13:10,024 [Bleep] you. 283 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,100 - [Bleep] You what? - He says they're doing a total recall. 284 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,778 Oh, [Bleep] you. 285 00:13:14,804 --> 00:13:16,571 All right. Did I take care of all your 286 00:13:16,597 --> 00:13:19,532 customer needs in a timely and satisfactory fashion today? 287 00:13:19,558 --> 00:13:21,192 You haven't done anything yet. 288 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,455 But the customer service... Was that reliable, and did I 289 00:13:24,481 --> 00:13:27,116 accurately and politely respond to your concerns? 290 00:13:27,142 --> 00:13:29,143 We need help. Our friend is in a coma. 291 00:13:29,169 --> 00:13:32,475 Uh, let's see. Uh, it looks like one of you is 292 00:13:32,501 --> 00:13:35,079 going to have to put on the oculus headset and go into the 293 00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:37,302 virtual world and convince your friend to get to an access 294 00:13:37,328 --> 00:13:40,060 point. Could you try that, my friend? 295 00:13:45,385 --> 00:13:46,766 It's okay. 296 00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:49,022 Everything is cool. Don't let anyone mess with your 297 00:13:49,048 --> 00:13:50,756 head, and it's all gonna be fine. 298 00:13:50,782 --> 00:13:52,763 You're cool, Eric. You're cool. 299 00:13:56,292 --> 00:13:58,188 Hey, Cartman. I need to talk to you. 300 00:13:58,214 --> 00:14:00,935 I know. Let's go to the backyard. 301 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:07,031 Cartman, I'm going to tell 302 00:14:07,057 --> 00:14:09,624 you something, and I need you to believe me, even if it seems 303 00:14:09,650 --> 00:14:12,548 - impossible. - Okay, Kyle. 304 00:14:12,574 --> 00:14:17,222 All right, here it goes. Cartman, you aren't really here. 305 00:14:18,445 --> 00:14:21,209 Mm. And why do you know that, Kyle? 306 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:24,855 Because I saw you, okay, in your room, passed out with a 307 00:14:24,881 --> 00:14:27,382 VR headset on. Customer service said that one 308 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,609 of us needed to put on the headset and come get you, and 309 00:14:29,635 --> 00:14:32,549 - that's why I'm here. - Mm-hmm. 310 00:14:32,575 --> 00:14:36,178 I know it's hard to believe, but you have to trust me. 311 00:14:36,204 --> 00:14:39,005 And why did the guys send you, Kyle? 312 00:14:39,031 --> 00:14:41,171 - What do you mean? - Kyle, I want you to brace 313 00:14:41,197 --> 00:14:42,966 yourself. This is going to be extremely 314 00:14:42,992 --> 00:14:45,948 hard to believe, but you are the one that's been in a coma with 315 00:14:45,974 --> 00:14:48,727 the VR headset on. 316 00:14:48,753 --> 00:14:49,845 [Bleep] you. 317 00:14:49,871 --> 00:14:52,437 I know it's hard to grasp, Kyle, but I was the one sent by 318 00:14:52,463 --> 00:14:54,558 customer service to try and convince you that none of what 319 00:14:54,584 --> 00:14:57,304 you've seen is real. You bought the oculus rift 320 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,331 - headset, Kyle. - Don't do that. 321 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,658 - Calm down. - No! 322 00:15:00,684 --> 00:15:02,485 I put your headset on and came here to... 323 00:15:02,511 --> 00:15:04,079 In virtual reality, yes, you did. 324 00:15:04,105 --> 00:15:06,340 No. Then I came into this virtual space. 325 00:15:06,366 --> 00:15:08,622 You've been in the virtual space all along, Kyle. 326 00:15:08,648 --> 00:15:10,983 Think about it. We're archrivals. 327 00:15:11,009 --> 00:15:15,212 Why would the guys send you in to convince me of anything? 328 00:15:15,238 --> 00:15:17,349 [Bleep] you. Why would they send you in to 329 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:20,074 convince me of anything? 330 00:15:20,348 --> 00:15:21,301 [Bleep] 331 00:15:25,743 --> 00:15:28,311 Thanks for calling best buy. How can I direct your call? 332 00:15:28,439 --> 00:15:30,310 Yes. My name is Kyle Broflovski. 333 00:15:30,336 --> 00:15:32,904 Can you tell me if I purchased an oculus rift headset there? 334 00:15:32,930 --> 00:15:35,687 - Or if I did. - Or if you sold one to an Eric Cartman? 335 00:15:35,713 --> 00:15:37,164 I'm gonna have to connect you 336 00:15:37,190 --> 00:15:39,725 to customer service. Hang on a sec. 337 00:15:39,911 --> 00:15:42,434 Best buy customer service. 338 00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:43,871 This is Steve. 339 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,176 Dude. What? 340 00:15:47,202 --> 00:15:49,458 - What? Hello? - Yes, hello. 341 00:15:49,484 --> 00:15:51,896 This call may be recorded to ensure good customer service in 342 00:15:51,922 --> 00:15:55,533 - the future. - Dude, now this is getting weird. 343 00:15:59,986 --> 00:16:02,085 Well, this looks like a lovely meal. 344 00:16:02,118 --> 00:16:04,285 Too bad Butters won't be enjoying it. 345 00:16:04,413 --> 00:16:07,048 You hear that, mister? No dinner for you! 346 00:16:07,182 --> 00:16:11,285 While you're grounded, you can just go to bed hungry! 347 00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:14,222 Linda, do you remember why Butters is grounded? 348 00:16:14,356 --> 00:16:17,302 - What... what did he do? - Oh, I don't know, Stephen. 349 00:16:17,328 --> 00:16:19,761 I let you handle all the groundings. 350 00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,998 It's strange. I don't recall him really doing 351 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:26,927 anything particularly bad, and yet... and yet he is grounded. 352 00:16:28,337 --> 00:16:31,401 And no bouncing a racquetball, either! 353 00:16:31,652 --> 00:16:33,227 No, listen, I called customer 354 00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:36,592 service because I need help. What am I supposed to do? 355 00:16:36,618 --> 00:16:39,420 Wait. Stan? Hold on. 356 00:16:39,446 --> 00:16:42,148 Is this my virtual reality or Cartman's virtual reality? 357 00:16:42,174 --> 00:16:44,243 It's neither. I know this might be hard for 358 00:16:44,269 --> 00:16:47,799 you to grasp right now, but this is all actually real. 359 00:16:48,128 --> 00:16:50,330 No, no, after we found Cartman, I put the headset on 360 00:16:50,356 --> 00:16:51,893 - and... - No, dude, dude, we've all 361 00:16:51,919 --> 00:16:55,094 - been here the entire time. - Holy shit. 362 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:59,555 Then this is all real. We've all been here from the beginning, 364 00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:07,278 - How do you know? - Because I'm a computer program. 365 00:17:07,304 --> 00:17:09,730 God damn it, Cartman. 366 00:17:09,756 --> 00:17:11,040 I'm telling you guys. I swear. 367 00:17:11,066 --> 00:17:13,200 You have to believe me. I am a computer program. 368 00:17:13,234 --> 00:17:15,235 - I'm not real. - He's lying. 369 00:17:15,261 --> 00:17:17,792 I'm not lying. Go ahead and ask customer service. 370 00:17:19,224 --> 00:17:22,158 What was the name of the person who first called you for customer service? 371 00:17:22,184 --> 00:17:24,852 Oh, yes, yes, yes! That I can answer. 372 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:28,792 - His name was... Butters. - Butters called customer 373 00:17:28,818 --> 00:17:29,761 service first? 374 00:17:29,887 --> 00:17:31,254 Have I answered all your 375 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,121 questions in a satisfying and courteous manner? 376 00:17:33,147 --> 00:17:34,848 Come on. We're going to Butters' house. 377 00:17:35,268 --> 00:17:38,709 Hello? My friend? My friend, I believe we are 378 00:17:38,735 --> 00:17:41,169 having some technical issues with our phone line. 379 00:17:41,195 --> 00:17:42,835 Please hang on. I'm going to call customer 380 00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:44,862 service. 381 00:17:44,888 --> 00:17:46,956 Hello. Customer service. This is Steve. 382 00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:50,518 Hello. This is Steve with customer service. 383 00:17:50,544 --> 00:17:51,977 Uh, no, no, no, no, my friend. 384 00:17:52,003 --> 00:17:53,998 I am Steve with customer service. 385 00:17:54,024 --> 00:17:56,717 Listen, my friend. This is going to be very hard to 386 00:17:56,751 --> 00:17:59,917 comprehend, but none of what you are seeing is real. 387 00:18:01,329 --> 00:18:03,564 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 388 00:18:03,590 --> 00:18:05,929 My friend, my friend, my friend, a customer who was in 389 00:18:05,955 --> 00:18:09,375 virtual reality called customer service, and it has created a 390 00:18:09,401 --> 00:18:13,569 customer feedback loop, okay? Here in India, we call it a 391 00:18:13,595 --> 00:18:15,667 customer feedback vindaloop. 392 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,972 Oh [Bleep] you. 393 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,804 No, no, no, no, no. Do not [Bleep] me because I am 394 00:18:21,830 --> 00:18:24,799 you, and then we will just be [Bleep] ourselves! 395 00:18:24,825 --> 00:18:27,460 Now, have I provided answers to your questions in a courteous 396 00:18:27,486 --> 00:18:29,599 and prompt fashion? 397 00:18:29,625 --> 00:18:32,020 What do you mean, have you 398 00:18:32,046 --> 00:18:35,138 answered all my questions? No! You have not answered any 399 00:18:35,164 --> 00:18:36,674 questions at all! No, no, no, no, no. 400 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,801 Listen. Listen. If I didn't answer your 401 00:18:38,842 --> 00:18:41,108 questions, then we have given bad customer service. 402 00:18:41,134 --> 00:18:43,035 But you didn't answer any of my questions! 403 00:18:43,061 --> 00:18:45,638 Well, what is more important, my friend... the result or good 404 00:18:45,664 --> 00:18:48,853 - customer service? - I'm troubled I'm troubled in 405 00:18:48,879 --> 00:18:54,820 mind. if Jesus don't help me I surely will die. 406 00:18:54,846 --> 00:18:57,088 - Butters! - Ah! What? 407 00:18:57,121 --> 00:18:59,272 - But you guys can't be here. - Why not? 408 00:18:59,298 --> 00:19:02,050 Because I'm grounded. That means no visitors. 409 00:19:02,076 --> 00:19:04,550 Butters, when did you call oculus rift customer service? 410 00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:06,495 When we were playing with the oculus headset. 411 00:19:06,521 --> 00:19:09,196 Don't you guys remember? We were all messing around with it. 412 00:19:09,222 --> 00:19:10,583 I played with it first and went 413 00:19:10,609 --> 00:19:12,173 a little nuts. I forgot I was in virtual 414 00:19:12,199 --> 00:19:15,368 reality and I got grounded and now I'm grounded in real life. 415 00:19:15,394 --> 00:19:17,164 So, now we are in the real world? 416 00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:20,223 - Yes! - You guys, I have accepted the 417 00:19:20,249 --> 00:19:22,072 reality that I am just a computer program. 418 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,455 The fact is that one of us right now is in a room wearing a VR 419 00:19:25,489 --> 00:19:28,299 headset, seeing all this, and it's not me. 420 00:19:28,325 --> 00:19:29,826 Butters! 421 00:19:29,852 --> 00:19:31,213 - Aah! - What are your friends doing 422 00:19:31,239 --> 00:19:33,512 - here?! - I'm sorry, dad! 423 00:19:33,538 --> 00:19:35,773 Hello? Hello, my friend? Are you still there? 424 00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:38,743 - Yes, we're here! - Listen carefully, my friend. 425 00:19:38,769 --> 00:19:41,504 You are stuck in a paradox. It turns out there are three 426 00:19:41,530 --> 00:19:43,234 things you cannot do in virtual reality. 427 00:19:43,260 --> 00:19:46,533 You cannot die, you cannot get grounded, and you cannot call 428 00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:48,987 customer service. This is why you are having 429 00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:51,414 - problems. - You just don't get it, do you? 430 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,007 So, then how much of what has 431 00:19:53,033 --> 00:19:54,756 happened was in virtual reality? 432 00:19:54,782 --> 00:19:58,773 That does not matter! There is only one thing that matter? 433 00:19:58,799 --> 00:20:00,165 What? 434 00:20:00,191 --> 00:20:03,293 Have I answered your questions satisfactorily and 435 00:20:03,427 --> 00:20:06,763 - offered good customer service? - That doesn't make sense! 436 00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:08,957 That's the paradox! Please, my friend! 437 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,768 Please! I am not real! 438 00:20:11,902 --> 00:20:14,737 You are not real! Have I answered your questions 439 00:20:14,872 --> 00:20:17,056 and provided good customer service? 440 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:20,143 - This call may be recorded! - You're getting it now! 441 00:20:20,277 --> 00:20:22,445 Yes! Yes, you've answered all my 442 00:20:22,563 --> 00:20:27,646 questions, and I am pleased with the customer service I've been provided! 443 00:20:30,844 --> 00:20:33,896 You guys? Are you there? 444 00:20:33,922 --> 00:20:35,339 We're right here, dude. Do you remember now? 445 00:20:35,762 --> 00:20:38,187 Yeah, I remember. I'm heading back to the access point. 446 00:20:40,562 --> 00:20:42,941 Oh, my gosh. 447 00:20:42,967 --> 00:20:44,584 - Linda. - What is it, Stephen? 448 00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:47,645 It's Butters. He's not grounded anymore. 449 00:20:47,882 --> 00:20:51,070 - He's not? - No, I-I've got to tell him. 450 00:20:51,804 --> 00:20:54,868 Butters? Butters! 451 00:20:54,942 --> 00:20:57,873 You can go outside and play, son. 452 00:20:57,899 --> 00:21:02,408 - You... y-you mean... I'm not grounded? - No. 453 00:21:02,861 --> 00:21:05,296 I don't know why or how, but it's over. 454 00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:07,767 They did it! They figured it out! 455 00:21:07,839 --> 00:21:10,119 Whoopee! 456 00:21:10,479 --> 00:21:12,811 All right, I'm nearing checkpoint Alpha. You guys still there? 457 00:21:12,837 --> 00:21:14,667 We're here, dude. Just a little further, and we 458 00:21:14,693 --> 00:21:16,255 can finally end this. 459 00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:19,402 - Okay, I'm back in Cartman's room. - All right, Stan, just sit 460 00:21:19,428 --> 00:21:22,564 - down at the computer. - All right, dude. 461 00:21:22,590 --> 00:21:25,157 - Take off the headset. 462 00:21:28,485 --> 00:21:32,226 So, aside from all the bullcrap, what do you think are the Ocupus? 463 00:21:33,029 --> 00:21:37,638 It's pretty cool, but the graphics suck. 464 00:21:37,906 --> 00:21:41,258 sync and corrections by dreaMaker7 www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 37833

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