Original subtitles

(orchestral music)

- Hi, Uncle Martin, I'm home.

Uncle Martin, I'm home.

Uncle Martin, I'm home.

(audience laughing)

I'm home!

(audience laughing)

- Tim, please.

Please, you startled me.

- You're kidding, of course.

Listen, it's a good thing martians

don't have hiccups.

They don't get frightened.

(audience laughing)

- Well, I just didn't expect you so soon.

- Well, you always expect me.

Why, nobody can come within walking distance

of this place without your knowing it.

It's that sixth sense,

that martian radar you've got.

(audience laughing)

- That's just it.

I am temporarily bereft of my

televisio-audial system.

Which is a highly advanced extension

of what you earthlings erroneously refer to

as a sixth sense.

And which you have yet to really develop.

Now my milimicrosonic sensory regenerator

has extracted it,

and right now is in the process of purifying it.

Cleaning out the mental lint, so to speak.

(audience laughing)

(beeping)

Cycles finished.

Now readjust the controls.

Focus the lens.

And restore my sixth sense.

A few seconds to warm up,

and the milimicrosonic beam will carry back

my sixth sense along its wave length.

(whirring) (beeping)

(knocking)

You better see who that is.

- Well, you'll know yourself in just a second.

(audience laughing)

- I brought you some brownies.

- No, no, no.

Don't, don't, don't.

(mystical music)

- Oh, Tim, I hope you won't feel slighted,

but I'm entering my brownies recipe

in your rival papers cooking contest.

- Oh, well.

That's the Los Angeles Chronicle for you.

All the news is fit to eat.

(audience laughing)

(mystical music)

- Answer the phone, Tim.

(audience laughing)

(telephone ringing)

(audience laughing)

(beeping)

(orchestral music)

(light music)

- Alright, goodbye.

Well, that was Mr. Benson.

I have to do an interview with Mitzi Marlow.

You know, she's the lady that's always a bride,

never a bridesmaid.

What's the matter, Uncle Martin?

You previewing a bad dream?

(audience laughing)

- Ah, it's just as I feared, Tim.

When Lorelei walked across the

milimicrosonic beam she absorbed my sixth sense.

(audience laughing)

- Oh.

Then that's how she knew the phone

was going to ring.

- We're in for trouble.

Unless I can focus the regenerator on her

and extract my sixth sense.

- Well, it's too bad you're not gonna

let her keep it.

Sometimes I think Mrs. Brown could use

all the senses she could get.

(audience laughing)

- You're taking this rather lightly.

I can only conclude that you don't realize

what a vulnerable position I'm in.

- Well, no, I didn't realize it.

You see, we Earth people get along pretty well

without built in radar.

- Well, that's somewhat open to debate.

(audience laughing)

But the fact remains that I am an alien

in basically hostile territory.

I'm just like a plane coming in

for an instrument landing in the dense fog.

Minus one of his instruments.

- Well, come on, then.

Let's take the thing down to Mrs. Brown's.

Before you come in for a crash landing.

(audience laughing)

- [Lorelei] Coming Martin, Tim.

(audience laughing)

- Look, she didn't have to ask who it is.

You noticed that, didn't you?

Well, the longer as she retains my sixth sense

the sharper it will become.

- Well, aren't you gonna let us in?

- I'd love to, but I'm afraid I can't.

- Lorelei, this isn't like you.

- I know.

I wish I could explain,

but it's just a feeling I have.

I suppose it's my woman's intuition.

- Well, what would a woman's intuition

have against us?

- It's not you so much, Tim, it's Martin.

There's something not right.

He has dishonest designs on me.

(audience laughing)

Oh, no offense, Martin.

It's just the feeling that I have.

- Well, I know it well.

- I'm really more than sorry about it

than I can say,

but goodbye.

(audience laughing)

- Well, it looks like you met your Waterloo.

- You forget, Tim,

Wellington met his Waterloo, too.

And he won.

(audience laughing)

Talk to her some more.

I'm going to try a planking maneuver.

- Yes, Tim?

(audience laughing)

- Um.

What's your recipe for brownies?

(audience laughing)

(suspenseful music)

(audience laughing)

(mystical music)

- What soft,

what lout through yonder window breaks?

(audience laughing)

- Brennan.

Must you pussyfoot around like that?

(laughing)

- Never mind me, O'Hara.

There's a special section of the criminal code

that deals with people who look

in other people's windows.

- I was merely admiring the view.

- Are you hiding something behind your back?

- Yes.

It's my latest invention.

(laughing)

- What an absurdity.

O'Hara, you must keep the boys

at the patent office in hysterics.

(audience laughing)

- Since you seem so fond of quoting Shakespeare,

there are more things in heaven and earth,

Brennan, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Now be careful, the mechanism is extremely sensitive.

(explosion) (audience laughing)

- Oh!

Too bad you didn't make a smoke-making machine.

(audience laughing)

It would be a success.

Ah, did I put a hole in it?

(audience laughing)

- Tis not so deep as a well.

Not so wide as a church door.

But tis enough.

(audience laughing)

Twill serve.

- Alas.

- Alright, you chop up a large handful of nuts.

Go on.

- If you don't have a large hand,

use two small ones.

(audience laughing)

Oh, hello, Bill.

Since you're on your way to the courthouse,

you can drop me off at the Chronical.

- Gladly, Lorelei.

How did you know I was I going to the courthouse?

- I don't know, I guess you must have told me.

Well, anyway, I'll just be a minute.

Come on in.

(door slamming)

Sorry, Martin.

But with this strange feeling I have about you,

I'm off-limits.

(audience laughing)

- Excuse me.

Would you mind stepping back?

(audience laughing)

- Well, have you reached a verdict

on the regenerator, Uncle Martin?

- Well, it appears that Brennan

burned out the short range focusing system.

- Oh.

That's a pretty unfavorable verdict.

Can you fix it?

- I don't know.

The mini microports I need aren't

available on Earth.

The best I can do is refit some parts

from the spaceship's galactic stabilizer.

But I think I can effectually changeover.

- Oh.

Well, I have to run down to the office

and drop off this Mitzi Marlow story,

but I'll be right back.

So if you need a strong right arm

or a sorta shaky left one--

(audience laughing)

- Thanks, I can manage.

Only it'll take a few days.

In the meantime, Mrs. Brown will be walking around

with my sixth sense getting more and more

finely attuned to it until inevitably

the realization strikes her that I am a martian.

But all we can do is hope for the best.

(suspenseful music)

- Oh, Martin!

(audience laughing)

You know, I had the funniest feeling

you were up to something.

- Well, I, I, I was merely puttering

around the garage.

(audience laughing)

- Then why are you stuttering

about your puttering?

(audience laughing)

You know, I can't imagine why I have

this feeling about you but it keeps getting

stronger and stronger every time I see you.

Oh, dear.

You better be careful with your

galactic stabilizer, whatever that is.

(audience laughing)

- Hello, Martin.

Look at that.

- Oh, I see your interview made the front page.

Congratulations.

- Now look at that.

- I don't understand.

- I've been scooped.

- What?

- Scooped.

S-C-ooped.

Oh, boy, you should've heard Mr. Benson.

Now, O'Hara, our reporters are supposed to be

firstest with the mostest.

Not the lastest with the leastest.

(audience laughing) (telephone ringing)

I shoulda said to him, I shoulda said,

"Mr. Benson, I don't walk around

"with a lie detector in my pocket."

I shoulda said, "Mr. Benson!"

Alright, so I've been scooped.

Well, it's an occupational hazard.

- Tim, answer the phone.

- Uncle Martin, you got your sixth sense back!

- It's been ringing.

(audience laughing)

- Hello.

Oh, yes, Mr. Benson.

Right, Mr. Benson.

But Mr. Benson--

Well, I understand, Mr. Benson,

but lightning never strikes twice

in the same place.

Yes, Mr. Benson.

That was Mr. Benson.

I just told him that lightning

never strikes twice in the same place.

- That is a scientific fallacy.

- Oh, well, it better become a journalistic fact.

Because he just assigned me to a story.

You know, the one about the bank president

that ran off with all the depositors money?

Well, the guy just turned himself in.

It's my one chance to redeem myself

with Mr. Benson.

- Wait, I'll go with you.

- No, no, you stay here

and work on your regenerator.

- I can't work now anyway, Tim.

With Lorelei getting so close to the truth

it's unnerving.

I'm all thumbs.

(audience laughing)

Tim, that's just an expression.

(audience laughing)

- Well, you never know with a martian.

(audience laughing)

- Well, well, if it isn't the O'Hara's.

And to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?

- Brennan, your charming hospitality

positively overwhelms us.

- Yes.

Now what are the chances of seeing the

bank president that you've got on ice?

- Well, because it's you and because of our

mutual affection and regard--

- No chance, huh?

- Bad banker isn't seeing any of the press.

Except, of course,

the reporter from the Chronicle.

- What Chronicle reporter?

- Why, the one who talked him out of

skipping off to Brazil.

There's the reporter now phoning in

the details to the paper.

(audience laughing)

- I can't believe it.

Mrs.--

- Brown, of the Chronicle.

- You mean you're the reporter

that's been scooping me?

(audience laughing)

- I'm sorry, Tim.

But my editor says all's fair in love and news.

(audience laughing)

- Well, that doesn't make any sense to me.

I mean I had to go to journalism school,

and then I had to work as a re-write man.

And all you ever wrote was a bunch of recipes

for brownies.

(audience laughing)

- I guess he found those recipes more appealing

than your stale copy, O'Hara.

- It makes sense, Lorelei being a reporter.

It makes a lot of sense.

- Sense?

Oh, no.

- I don't know how it happens.

But ever since the day Bill took me down

to the Chronicle office,

news stories keep popping into my mind.

And now I'm a cube reporter.

- That's cub.

- Oh, I must get used to the way

we fourth estaters talk.

By the way, Martin.

I have a feeling you're gonna make headlines soon.

It's right on the tip of my mind.

(mystical music)

Uh-oh, somethings coming into focus.

Yes, yes, there's a big warehouse fire.

Oh, I better get over there.

- Where is it?

- Does Winchell tell Sullivan?

(audience laughing)

- You run right along, Lorelei.

- Well, as we say, todaloop, I'm off to a scoop.

(audience laughing)

- Well, I can hardly wait until Lorelei produces

that information on you, O'Hara.

But for now you'll have to excuse me.

Duty calls.

- Do the taxpayers a favor, don't answer.

(audience laughing)

Uncle Martin, as long as Mrs. Brown

has that sixth sense there's gonna be

no stopping her as a reporter.

- She has to be stopped, Tim.

Because right now she's sitting on top of

the hottest news story of the century.

Me.

I'm sorry about your losing your job, Tim.

- Well, sorry isn't the word.

Try hungry.

Oh, it was bound to happen with Mrs. Brown

one sense up on me.

- Well, as soon as the regenerator is fixed

I'll be able to help you.

- Oh, look, don't worry about my job.

Just fix the regenerator.

(knocking)

- Open it, Tim.

If it's Lorelei, she knows we're here.

And we can't afford to arouse further suspicion.

- Oh, well, look who it is.

It's Mrs. Brown and what's his name.

- Oh, come on, Tim.

You couldn't forget Bill Brennan.

- I know.

I've tried.

(audience laughing)

- I'm glad to see that unemployment

hasn't affected your wit, O'Hara.

It's as dull as ever.

- Well, look, we're very busy right now, so--

- Take a good look at him, Lorelei.

What comes into your mind?

- Is something wrong?

- We'll soon know.

The past few days, Lorelei has been remarking

that she feels something strange about you.

Exactly the same feeling I've always had.

But with this sort of sixth sense

for uncovering news stories she's shown lately,

I'm sure she can pinpoint what it is.

(mystical music)

- Martin, it has something to do with space.

- Well, that takes care of his head.

What about the rest of him?

- Well, that's all I can think of at the moment.

- Keep trying, my dear.

If anyone can unmask the O'Hara's, it's you.

- You can't scare us, Brennan.

We don't have a skeleton in our closet.

- The garage!

- Ah, she's been after us to clean it out.

- Oh, dear.

I wish I knew what I mean when I say things

I don't mean to say.

(audience laughing)

- A Brennan never says die.

I shall return.

(audience laughing)

- Stand back, Tim.

You're about to see a man of parts

become a man of many parts.

(fast music)

- That is the most beautiful regenerated

regenerator I have ever seen.

- It is, but I don't wanna be a wet blanket, Tim.

- You're sad because you don't wanna dampen

my enthusiasm.

Alright, what's the matter?

- Well, in the speed up process I had to remit

certain refinements in the circuitry.

So in order to compensate I'm going to have to

put in one more part.

- Well, don't just stand there,

start putting.

- Relax, Tim.

The part is easily obtainable

at the local hardware store.

Yes, I would venture to say that I am safe now.

(light music)

(sighing)

(gasping)

(dramatic music)

- Hello, Bill.

Guess what.

I know about Martin now.

It just popped into my head,

but he really is.

- I know what he is, too.

It's who he is that I'm interested in.

(audience laughing)

- Well, I was dusting his picture

and all of a sudden it came to me.

He's a--

(audience laughing)

Wait a minute. (mystical music)

I'm getting another flash.

Oh, it's a really big news story.

- Never mind the story.

You were telling me about Martin.

- I've gotta go out to the old stoner house.

Bill, where is the old stoner house?

- Woodland Hills.

But what about Martin,

you were telling me about Martin.

- The scoop will get away from me.

I'll tell you later.

- But Lorelei!

(audience laughing)

- If you're through with your personal affairs,

Lieutenant.

There's a little matter of police business

I'd like you to take care of.

- I'm sorry, Captain.

- A lion escaped from the animal farm

about an hour ago.

I want you to take some men out there

and surround the area.

- Check.

That lion couldn't be anywhere around

the animal farm.

It's near the old stoner house.

- That's ten miles away.

In the name of Pinkerton how could he be there?

- 'Cause that's where Brown of the Chronicle went.

And she hasn't missed yet.

I'll bet my next promotion on this.

- If you're wrong, Brennan,

I may just collect that bet.

- I'm going to the hardware store for that part.

Coming, Tim?

- Sure.

It isn't as if I had to go to work or anything.

(audience laughing)

Hey!

Hey, there goes Mrs. Brown.

(audience laughing)

- By the time she comes back,

the regenerator will be ready for her.

- No, no, you go ahead without me.

I wanna chase this story.

- What story is that?

- The one Mrs. Brown is after.

Look, if I can call it in before she does,

maybe Mr. Benson will give my job back.

- Well, that's being rather surreptitious,

isn't it, Tim?

- Mmm-hmm, it's better than being sneaky.

(audience laughing)

- Hello?

Now, what did I say that for.

I knew nobody's home.

(audience laughing)

(dramatic music)

(audience laughing)

- Tim?

- Hello, Martin.

You here?

- I'm telecommunicating from the house.

Just where are you?

- Well, at the old stoner place

up in Woodland Hills.

But I can't imagine what kind of a story

Mrs. Brown could have sniffed out here.

Unless it was an article on dust.

- Watch your step, Tim.

As soon as I have the new part in the regenerator

I'll get back to you.

(mystical music)

(dramatic music)

(audience laughing)

- Lorelei?

Lorelei.

You've got to get out.

There's a lion in here.

Isn't there?

- Yes.

And I'm picking out background color.

A newspaper woman always gets her story.

- Unless you're thinking of a mountie.

- No.

A newspaper woman doesn't always get her mountie.

And I'm not leaving without my story.

- Alright.

Stay close.

I'll protect you.

(audience laughing)

(mystical music)

- Tim!

- Oh, back so soon?

- Don't panic,

but there's a lion in the house.

- Well, I told you,

I said never let strangers in the front door.

- Not in my house.

There's a lion in the stoner house.

- Oh, come on, you gotta do something

with the static with your telecommunication,

because it sounded like you said--

(growling)

There's a lion in the house!

- That must be Lorelei's story.

- Alright, Uncle Martin.

I'm not gonna panic.

You just go ahead and fix your regenerator.

I'll think of something.

(growling)

I just thought of it.

Panic!

(audience laughing)

(growling)

Everybody out! Everybody out!

We're surrounded by a lion.

- I'm not going to leave, Tim.

Then you'll get the scoop.

- I wouldn't.

Honestly, I wouldn't.

Now look, we can't stay here in the same house

as the lion in it.

- Why not?

You live in the same house with a--

(growling)

(dramatic music)

(growling)

- Get upstairs, Lorelei, you'll be safe there.

- I'm not missing any of the details

the public is starving for.

- What do you have to remind him for?

(growling)

I'll hold him off.

You go for help around that way.

- The cars outside, I'll radio.

- Yeah, well, don't forget to leave your gun, huh.

Brennan?

(door slamming) (audience laughing)

Brennan?

(upbeat music)

Come on, down.

(growling)

(mystical music)

- The generator is fixed.

I got here as fast as I could.

- Well, you better get back home as fast

as you can.

- I feel responsible for getting all of you

into this situation.

Now I'll have to take my chances, too.

- Well, listen.

I would rather be in this lions clutches

than have you in front of him.

Ah.

(mystical music)

(audience laughing)

- Tim, how do you spell vicious?

- Uh, W-Y-L-D.

- You alright, O'Hara?

- Yeah, now I know how Daniel felt.

- Keep up the good work, O'Hara.

I don't wanna shoot unless I have to.

(mystical music)

- Oh, my goodness.

What a story.

You'll both get medals for this,

and I'll get the Pulitzer Prize.

- I'll take you outside so you can phone it in.

(audience laughing)

(mystical music)

- Uncle Martin, stop them before Mrs. Brown talks!

(mystical music)

(audience laughing)

- The lion and the cat are both members

of the felidae family.

It's a simple matter of rearranging the molecules.

- Well.

Too bad Clyde Beatty didn't know about that.

What an act he would have had.

(audience laughing)

- Well, Captain, there's your lion.

(audience laughing)

- I think you can handle this ferocious beast

unarmed, Frank.

- But the lion.

Where did he go?

There was a lion here as big as a--

- Lion.

But how could a lion turn into a pussycat?

Bill, it was Martin!

You'll never believe this, Bill.

But Martin O'Hara is a mar--

(beeping) (gasping)

(audience laughing)

- -velous person.

You're just marvelous.

- You're right, I wouldn't believe it.

O'Hara, don't tell me you've been here all along.

- Alright, I won't tell you.

- Here, Lieutenant.

A little trophy for your collection.

(audience laughing)

(growling)

(audience laughing)

- Captain!

(audience laughing)

Wait!

- Oh, dear, I'm so mixed up and confused.

I don't know what I'm seeing or what I'm saying.

Oh, Bill, wait for me!

(audience laughing)

(laughing)

- Well, Mrs. Brown is back to normal.

(laughing)

- What's so amusing, Tim?

- I was just thinking about the expression

on Brennan's face when he saw the lion

change back into a pussycat.

- Well, if you find that humorous,

just wait til you see his expression

when the molecules reassemble again.

(laughing)

Well.

You don't mean.

Oh.

You wouldn't, would you?

- Don't worry.

The lieutenant is in no danger.

Unfortunately, we martians suffer

from a distressing affliction.

The ability to resist temptation.

(light music)

(electronic music)