Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

- The least you could do is ask me to move.

- I could?

- Yes, you could.

- Okay. Move.

- All right.

- Big deal.

- Now, Tim,

isn't that a rather school-boyish trick?

- It's a thing I learned from my mother.

A very heavy forward stroke.

A very light back one.

It picks up all the lint.

- I don't enjoy physical humor.

- I'm not joking.

It's a sweeper fact.

- You know, very well, what I'm referring to.

- I do?

Give me a hint.

It is bigger than a bread box?

- Do you deny that you just hit me?

And shoved me?

- Me?

- You.

- There must be somebody else in the ring with us

because I haven't laid a glove on you.

(foreboding music)

- That's not entirely an impossibility.

- You mean...

We have an invisible visitor?

(spooky music)

Well?

Do I set another place at the dinner table?

- Aside from three spiders, a fly,

four silverfish and a lawn moth,

you and I are the soul occupants present.

I know I felt something.

- I know what you're feeling.

Old age.

- Old age?

At 932?

Me?

Why, I'm still just a kid.

No, no, no. There still has to be-

(honking)

- What was that?

- That was my early warning device.

Tim, I'm in trouble. - [Tim] I'll call a doctor.

- No, just get me my martian memory pills.

- All right.

- The medical memory pill, please.

- Here you go.

(groaning)

- I'll program the computer with

my total physical condition.

(beeping)

This should be the diagnosis.

- Well?

- It's worse than I thought.

- What have you got?

- Mosquito bite.

(silly music)

(beeping)

(eerie music)

(silly upbeat music)

(pleasant music)

- My mother always told me that hot chicken soup

and hot tea would cure anything

from whooping cough to snake bite.

- I doubt they'll do that much for a mosquito bite.

- You know, I can't understand, is how a little, tiny

mosquito can put a martian down so completely.

- The disquieting part of it is,

that martians aren't even appetizing to mosquitoes.

The one that bit me must have been quit inexperienced.

- Just a crazy, mixed-up kid.

- Yeah.

And then, having bitten me, didn't even bother to...

To clean his dinning equipment.

- You mean, even mosquitoes have to brush

after every meal?

- Yeah, but this one didn't.

- Result,

the next person that he

chose to suck upon received an infinitesimal injection

of pure me.

So what I have is a strong case

of sym-sym-sympatheticous.

- Stuttering?

- Sym-sym-sympatheticous.

Extreme feeling for another.

As long as there is a drop of me in his veins,

I will feel everything that my blood brother feels.

- Oh.

Well then, all that stuff that you were feeling

was actually happening to someone else.

- Ah.

You do understand.

Now, to cure sym-sym-sympatheticous,

I must find this host,

get a bit of gamma globulin from him,

create an antidote and neutralize him.

- Oh.

How do we find him? Get a blood hound?

- No, we deduce who he is and where he is

by analyzing the way I feel.

Tim, a horrible thought just occurred to me.

Mosquitoes aren't limited to biting human beings.

They live off of any warm-blooded animal.

My blood brother could be anything from aardvark to a zebra.

- One thing's for sure.

The way you're eating that sugar,

he belongs to that group that has 40 percent more cavities.

(silly music)

Good morning.

Well, Martin.

Hello, Martin?

Hello, Martin?

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

(silly music)

What're you doing?

It's six o'clock in the morning.

- Not sure.

To facilitate matters,

I decided to allow my blood brother to take over

to observe the behavior.

All I know is I had to get up this morning

and run as fast as I could.

(horse neighing)

- That doesn't sound like an aardvark.

(huffing)

What happened?

- That's merely a preventive.

The bandages are to protect my fetlocks.

Fetlocks?

- Don't tell me that your blood brother is a horse.

- Not just a horse, Tim.

A race horse.

(horse neighing)

(upbeat music)

Posing as a horse doctor should be a simple matter

to find the horse a mosquito chose for his dinner.

- Yeah, all we have to do is find the entry

he picked for an entree.

(laughing)

Get it?

Entry. Entree.

- That's very clever, Tim.

- You got me up pretty early this morning.

- Oh, follow me.

Good morning, sir.

I couldn't help noticing what an excellent

view of the track you have from here.

I was wondering if you happened to notice

which of your colleagues was working out

at six o'clock this morning.

(neighing)

Yes?

Why don't you whisper it to me.

Ah ha, indeed.

Well, I'm sure she's a very charming lady.

I hope you'll be very happy.

Tell me, was Lady's Maid the only one on the track?

(neighing)

Ah, Lush Life and Joe Latte were there.

And Sweet Sister. They were also working out.

Well, thank you very much, sir.

You've been very helpful.

- You know, Uncle Martin,

I know a lot of people talk to horses,

but you're the first one I've ever seen get an answer.

Right from the horse's mouth.

(silly music)

- Grandpa, are you sure your stop-watch isn't broken.

- Oh, dagnabbit, Carrie.

That watch hasn't lost a split second in 50 years.

I tell you, she worked a flat mile in one 1:32.

- That's a world's record.

- Not until she runs it in a race it ain't.

And she's gonna do that in the handicap.

Oh, there'll be a funny look on a lot of people's faces

when she waltzes away from that Hard-Hearted Hanna

in the Big Dream Hundred Thousand Dollar Handicap.

- Oh, grandpa,

Bright Green Farms will have a brand-new start.

- You just betcha.

And one day, again, a Bright Green horse

is gonna take them roses for winning that Kentucky Derby.

- And the Preakness.

- And the Belmont Stakes.

- The Triple Crown.

- Sweet Sister,

it's all riding on you today.

- Oh, what a beautiful day this is going to be.

- Now, we're gonna saddle you up

and Arnold's gonna walk you around,

just a little,

just to keep you unkempt.

You just betcha.

(groaning)

- Something wrong?

- It feels like somebody just put a tight corset on me.

- A corset? What kind of a horse wears a corset?

- Of course.

It's a saddle.

And these are the reigns.

And that's the horse.

- She's gonna need it.

That Hard-Hearted Hanna is a real tough mare.

- Okay, sir.

- Wow.

Look, you take the horse

and I'll take the Philly with the ponytail.

- The girl is the owner.

- How about that?

The race hasn't even started,

already, I'm a winner.

- Wait a minute.

First, if you don't mind.

(buzzing)

That's better.

- What'd you do?

- I merely loosened the saddle

so that it floats a fraction of an inch above her.

I thrown a thin, contour force field about her.

Now, the bit, heals and the flank and wacks on the rump,

they can't bother her.

Therefore, they can't bother me.

- Now, you be a good girl and go along with Arnold.

- Come on, Sweet Sister.

Come on.

- What's the matter?

Can't you handle her?

- Grandpa!

- Arnold, where you going?

- Grandpa!

- Where you going, Sweet Sister?

You're supposed to be going the other way.

- What in blue blazes you doing up there?

Arnold, you lollygagging?

- I don't know what happened to her.

All of a sudden, she wouldn't pay any attention to me.

Acts like I'm not even up here.

- What's wrong with her, grandpa?

- Any fool can see what's the matter.

She lost all feeling in her mouth.

- Her ribs.

And her hind end too.

- She can't win the Big Dream Handicap acting this way.

- Why, she couldn't even win a hundred dollar claiming race.

This horse is plum numb.

From her nose to knucklebone, she's plum numb.

- What is it, grandpa?

- Will you please not be so blame to hurry up, Carrie?

I gotta consider me to or three maybes

before I make a decision.

Arnold, will you get out of the way

so I can have some room to consider.

It could be-

- Excuse me, please.

Well, that's very interesting.

Would you mind moving your head up and down, please.

- Grandpa, did you see that?

- If that don't beat all.

- Now, let me see.

Now, let's take a look at the throat.

Would you open wide, please.

Open wide. That's it.

Thank you.

That's fascinating.

First classic case of force-fieldicous

I've seen in 15 years.

- Are you a vet?

- Doc Martin.

This is my assistant, Time O'Hara.

- Oh, hi, I'm Carrie Green.

This is my grandpa.

- Howdy.

- And there's our jockey, Arnold O'Rily.

- What are you doing tonight, Carrie?

I mean, how do you do?

- Howdy.

What do you think it'll take

to get Sweet Sister going again, Doc?

- Well, one tarnation minute, Carrie.

Excuse me, son.

You gonna let a perfect stranger doctor Sweet Sister?

That's my job.

- Grandpa, it's my horse.

The doc, here, seems to know what's wrong with her.

- All right.

You do it. You go right ahead.

Don't you come around to me after

and expect me to unfix the fixing when he's done.

- Oh, grandpa.

- Kelley Green. Kelley Green.

Are you, by any chance, Kelley Green?

The Kelley Green?

- The onlyest one I ever heard of.

- Allow me to shake your hand, sir.

The name of Kelley Green is often heard

in schools of veterinary

the length and breadth of this nation.

- It is?

- Of course.

Your home remedies are included in every course

of animal husbandry.

I'm sure you're more familiar with force-fieldicous

under the colloquial term, numbsies.

- There, you see, Carrie.

That's just exactly what I was gonna say it was

when you busted in here.

- In that case, sir, I should be proud to assist you

in treating Sweet Sister.

- Well now,

I never was a man to deny another man his pleasure.

- Thank you.

I assume you wanna get a hemoglobin count first.

- Huh?

- Hemoglobin.

- Why, of course.

Why, that's the very first thing that I always do.

Arnold, I'll take Sweet Sister.

- I'll take the sample to my office

and mix it with my antidote.

- You go right ahead, doc.

I'll tell you if you start to do anything wrong.

- Will we have to scratch her from the race, Doc Martin?

- Not at all, Miss Green.

I will practically guarantee that Sweet Sister

will not only run that race,

but she'll win it, hands down.

- Oh, thank you, Doc Martin!

Oh, thank you! I just wanna.

Excuse me.

I just had to hug somebody.

I always feel like doing that when I get excited.

- Yes.

That's perfectly all right.

Look, if it ever happens again,

here's my home phone number.

Here's my office phone number.

This is my answering service.

Here's my cable address.

(foreboding music)

(ominous music)

- Monty.

Big Winner William.

I thought the fix was on for Hard-Hearted Hanna to win.

Well, I just saw them slip a speed shot to Sweet Sister.

Yeah, with my own eyes.

Must be some other syndicate, huh?

You want I should blow the whistle on them?

No, no, no!

I got a better idea.

A dreamy idea.

I'll talk to you.

(foreboding music)

Sweet dreams, Sweet Sister.

(ominous music)

(somber music)

- Uncle Martin?

What do you call this?

(groaning)

- This is called, sleep.

- Did you finish the antidote?

- Tomorrow.

- Tomorrow? What about the race?

- Oh, yes.

Oh, yes, the race.

- You're acting like someone who just took a count of ten.

- That's it, Tim.

Somebody must have given Sweet Sister knockout drops.

(silly music)

- Are you okay, Uncle Martin?

- I'm okay, Tim.

I'll get up in a minute.

- You are up.

How can a guy sleep standing on his feet?

- It's very easy if you're a horse.

(horse neighing)

- Doc.

What about Sweet Sister, Doc?

- Oh, grandpa, Carrie.

Don't you worry about a thing.

We will have Sweet Sister ready.

- Gracious, what's the matter with the doc?

- You know how he is.

No, you don't know how he is.

You see, when one of his patients gets sick,

he sort of identifies.

It's sort of like sympathy pains.

- Oh my goodness.

- Yes, he cares enough to feel the very worst.

- Right.

We'll have Sweet Sister

raring to go

by post time.

- [Announcer] Big Green Handicap horses to the track.

- Oh, for goodness sake.

It's almost post time right now.

- Doc will get right down to his doctoring right away.

Won't you, Doc?

(trumpet sounding)

Hey.

What's up, doc?

- The jig, I'm afraid.

Under present conditions,

I can only concentrate on one thing at a time.

And that's staying awake.

I forgot the antidote and the wake up remedy.

I'll have to fake.

- What're you gonna do?

Sweet Sister should win this race.

If it wasn't for us, she would.

- I'll remove the protective force field.

While they're moving her on to the track,

I'll think of something.

(thrilling music)

- That's it, Doc.

That's it.

- All right, Arnold.

She's ready to go out onto the track.

- Like that, doc?

- By the time she's at the post,

she'll be bright-eyed, snorting and ready to run.

- Arnold, you heard the doc.

Get her out of here.

We're gonna miss the post parade.

(festival music)

Arnold, you give Sweet Sister her head at the break.

You ease her off a little at the quarter

and let her out again at the mile.

If you can find an opening on that rail,

you duck in there and go to the whip in the stretch.

- Yes, sir.

I'll try to wake her up and let her know.

- Well, let's get going.

(festival music)

- [Announcer] Now, Sweet Sister.

- Doc, do you think Sweet Sister is gonna snap out of it?

(groaning)

Doc?

Do you think Sweet Sister's gonna snap out of it?

(groaning)

- Tim, how much money do we have?

- Money?

I don't know. Let's see.

I have about ten.

- Sir.

I would be honored if you wagered this on your horse to win.

- Carrie, honey, there's a doctor

what puts his money where his medicine is.

- His money?

Now, listen to me.

- That's for having such faith in Sweet Sister.

- Hey.

Would you just take a look?

See what you blew my money on.

Oh, great.

That horse is using the starting gate as a pillow.

- As long as there's a molecule of mine on that animal,

I might just be able to communicate with it.

Focus the energy of my willpower on it

and get it's atoms swelling about,

fast enough to burn up all the bad effects of that drug.

- Willpower, huh?

Willpower really has power?

- Properly focused, it's one of the most

potent forces in the universe.

- How do you focus it?

- I have to raise my antenna.

- [Tim] You can't do that here.

Not in front of five thousand people.

- I can raise them invisibly.

- Invisibly?

I've never seem you raise your antenna invisibly before.

- If you had, we'd both be in trouble.

I do it only in extreme emergency.

- Doc, here's your tickets.

They got Sweet Sister 30 to one on the odds board.

(eerie music)

- Uncle Martin, your hat.

(bell ringing)

- [Announcer] There they go.

Hard-Hearted Hanna second.

Miss Hard-Hearted Hanna moving into the rail.

(announcer mumbles)

And Sweet Sister just leaving the starting gate.

Correction, the starting gate is leaving her.

- Oh, grandpa.

- Uncle Martin, if you're gonna do something,

do it now.

- [Announcer] And going into the turn,

still Hard-Hearted Hanna by a length.

Oedipus is second ahead.

And Sweet Sister is moving into the rail.

Chewing some grass.

Sweet Sister is beginning to run.

- Come on, Sweet Sister. (eerie music)

- Oh, grandpa!

- [Announcer] Hard-Hearted Hanna by a length.

Oedipus is stuck in the net.

And Sweet Sister is moving like a brown blur.

Sweet Sister, running faster than I've ever seen

a horse run!

It's catching the field.

- Come on, girl! Come on!

- Come on, Sweet Sister.

- [Announcer] Here comes Sweet Sister on the outside.

- Come on!

- [Announcer] And heading in is Hard-Hearted Hanna

by a length.

Oedipus is second.

Moving from the outside, Sweet Sister.

She's fighting to catch up and running...

Last.

- What's the matter?

- It's no use, Tim. I need more energy.

No willpower.

Maybe I can drain off some of your energy.

Think, Tim, think. Quick.

Sweet sister, go, go!

(eerie music)

(announcer mumbling)

- Come on, Sweet Sister!

- Come on, Sweet Sister!

(eerie music)

- [Announcer] And coming down the line to finish.

- Tim, grab Carrie's hand, quick!

- [Announcer] It's Hard-Hearted Hanna winning it.

No! No! No!

In three incredible bounds, it's Sweet Sister!

It's Sweet Sister winning it!

- Grandpa, did you hear that?

Sweet Sister!

- I heard you, Carrie.

- What're we standing here for?

We gotta Bright Green horse waiting for us

in the winner's circle.

(cheering)

(silly music)

- Is that so?

(neighing)

- What'd she say?

- She likes you.

She wishes you'd let your maine grow.

Is that what you said?

- My maine, huh?

Why?

- Then you would really remind her of her father.

- You some kind of wise guy?

- Better than being called a dumb animal.

(snorting)

- One of you has got to be putting me on.

- Doc.

I think we've got everything, Carrie.

You think Sweet Sister will be needing

any more of them treatments?

- No, from now on I should...

(throat clearing)

She should feel fine.

- Thank you, Doc, you sure do know your numbsies.

Come on, Arnold.

- Thank you.

(romantic music)

- Goodbye, Carrie.

- Goodbye, Tim.

- You know, Uncle Martin,

we actually wished that horse into first place.

- Not us, Tim.

It was Carrie and grandpa who did it.

They weren't wishing Sweet Sister to win at all.

- Sure they were.

- No, they knew she would win.

It was their unshakable faith in that horse.

- You mean all that jazz really works?

- When you have a friend on the inside.

- Who?

- Like me.

My hat, please.

(silly music)

(silly upbeat music)

(dramatic music)