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1
00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:07,341
(singing in a foreign language)
2
00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:11,579
* And my name is Jose O'Hara gee
3
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,714
* My name is Jose
4
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:16,984
(Tim sings to himself)
5
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,692
(audience laughs)
6
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:28,529
- Hey!
7
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:29,897
Ole!
8
00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:33,734
Uncle Martin, your wandering
nephew has returned!
9
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:37,438
Well how do I go in
if I do not enter?
10
00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:40,241
(troubled music)
11
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:52,986
Uncle Martin?
12
00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:58,426
Uncle Martin, wake up,
you're blowing your top.
13
00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:00,027
- Mm.
14
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,129
Oh.
15
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,230
Oh.
16
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:03,097
Oh, Tim.
17
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:05,699
Tim.
18
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,635
Tim, you weren't supposed
to be home until tomorrow.
19
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,737
- Well it's a darn good
thing I got back today.
20
00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:11,239
You were asleep at the switch.
21
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:14,675
You had steam coming out of
your ears and you were...
22
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:15,909
What were you doing anyway?
23
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:18,179
- I was merely cleansing
my system of fluosis,
24
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:20,848
and at no time was I in any
danger of blowing my top.
25
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,116
- Oh, I'm sorry.
26
00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,617
I thought you sort of
popped a safety valve
27
00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:24,718
or something.
28
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:28,289
What are you looking
at me like that for?
29
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:31,125
- I'm looking at you, and
I'm looking for symptoms.
30
00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:35,329
Hmm, your misguided zeal has
exposed you to the virus.
31
00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:36,530
- Virus?
32
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:40,033
- Virus M, commonly
referred to as fluosis.
33
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,302
- Fluosis?
34
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:42,136
I never heard of it.
35
00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:43,337
- Of course not.
36
00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:46,140
It's been exclusively
a martian malady,
37
00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:47,007
until now.
38
00:01:47,975 --> 00:01:50,278
- [Tim] Did you say until now?
39
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:51,879
- Mm-hmm.
40
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:53,814
Go over there and look.
41
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:54,915
Go ahead.
42
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,718
(dramatic music)
43
00:02:00,188 --> 00:02:01,789
(audience laughs)
44
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,624
- What am I supposed to do now?!
45
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,527
Go out and get a job as
a real, live barber pole?
46
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,062
(audience laughs)
47
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:11,799
(strange music)
48
00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:14,001
(beeping)
49
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,815
(comical music)
50
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,931
(cheerful music)
51
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:46,700
(doorbell rings)
52
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,109
Uncle Martin, I have
always said that
53
00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:57,911
you were more than welcome here,
54
00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:59,480
but next time you visit,
55
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,216
would you mind leaving your
weird martian germs at home?
56
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,751
- I might remind you, Tim,
57
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,819
I did put a sign on the door
warning you to stay out.
58
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,054
- Well all right.
59
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,589
Well I thought you
were in trouble.
60
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:11,024
How was I to know you were
steam-cleaning your head?
61
00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:13,827
- Well, nothing done
that can't be undone.
62
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:17,197
I have some biocarnate derilium
that will remove the stripes
63
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:19,199
and also prevent the other
symptoms from occurring.
64
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,201
- Uh, just one second.
65
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,403
What other symptoms?
66
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,004
- Oh, nothing of
any consequence.
67
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,506
Without the inoculant,
68
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:29,410
you might run a slight fever
alternating with a cold...
69
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:30,911
Brennan!
70
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:34,181
(mystical music)
71
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,750
(audience laughs)
72
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:39,620
- Well, don't tell me
your charming landlady
73
00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:41,655
has finally recognized
your true character
74
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:44,258
and is throwing you
out bag and baggage.
75
00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:45,626
- Tim has been out of
town on an assignment
76
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:46,660
for his newspaper.
77
00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,128
- Oh really?
78
00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:51,198
And I thought the air was clear
because the smog had lifted.
79
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:54,935
Is he playing charades with
that south of the border fedora?
80
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:57,237
I give up, what's
he supposed to be?
81
00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:58,639
- A man who's minding
his own business.
82
00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:00,441
I suggest you go
elsewhere and do likewise.
83
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:01,642
(Tim laughs)
84
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:04,211
- O'Hara, you're
up to something.
85
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:08,148
There's guilt written
all over your face.
86
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,918
Is that really your
nephew behind that hat?
87
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,886
- Of course, who
else could it be?
88
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,555
- That's what I'm
going to find out.
89
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,425
(audience laughs)
90
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,562
(tense music)
91
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:28,068
(audience laughs)
92
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:30,971
- Well hi, Brennan.
93
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,307
Catch any crooks lately?
94
00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:34,742
- Well what have we here,
95
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,578
new dimensions in the
art of finger painting?
96
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,713
- Oh how very perceptive
of you, Brennan,
97
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,816
considering you
flunked kindergarten.
98
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,053
- I'm sorry, but you've
got to run, Brennan.
99
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,388
- It would seem to me, O'Hara,
100
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,690
that you're inordinately
anxious to be rid of me.
101
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,024
- It's nothing
personal, lieutenant.
102
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,460
It's just as Shakespeare said,
103
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,027
"Rub the porridge
of your opinion
104
00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,596
"and make yourself scarce."
105
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,765
- I think he also
said, and I quote,
106
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,401
"So full of artless
jealousy is guilt
107
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:03,337
"it spills itself in
fearing what it spilt."
108
00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:04,237
- Yes.
109
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,541
- Oh you don't fool
me for one minute.
110
00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:08,809
Your evil little mind
111
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:11,745
is engaged in some
nefarious enterprise,
112
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,615
and I mean to find
out what it is.
113
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:17,317
(Brennan whistles)
114
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,452
So that's it.
115
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:20,588
- So what's what?
116
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,590
- Conspiring to endanger
the health and safety
117
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,358
of an entire community.
118
00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:25,959
Well there are laws
on this subject
119
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,428
I'm happy to say.
120
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:31,231
- Now just one cotton-picking
minute, Brennan!
121
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:32,833
There is nothing wrong with me!
122
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,603
I just have sunburn,
that's all, yes.
123
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:39,640
I was laying under a ladder
and I got striped sunburn.
124
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,141
- Isn't that pathetic.
125
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,310
Well I didn't take a second
major in pathology for nothing
126
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,912
when I was at Yale.
127
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,480
I know what's wrong with you!
128
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:47,748
- You do?
129
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:49,383
- Yes.
130
00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:50,851
- What?
131
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,420
- You have a particularly
rare, contagious form
132
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:55,122
of Tropicanus maladitus raritis.
133
00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:58,926
This is Lieutenant Brennan.
134
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:03,030
Get me an emergency
ambulance from City Hospital.
135
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,033
- Could he be right?
136
00:06:06,066 --> 00:06:08,101
- Tim, the Brennans in
this world are never wrong,
137
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,471
even when they aren't right.
138
00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:14,107
(siren whirring)
139
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:16,744
(urgent music)
140
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,292
- Listen, I don't understand
why you just didn't go
141
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,461
(whistles)
142
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:36,196
like that and get that stuff.
143
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,498
- Because Brennan didn't
take his eyes off me
144
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:38,899
the whole time I was there.
145
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:39,900
- Well I hope you
realize if I get examined
146
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:41,168
your goose is cooked!
147
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,970
- I'm painfully aware of
that unhappy fact, Tim,
148
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:46,273
and I have no intention
of letting it happen.
149
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:47,608
(bewitching music)
150
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:49,109
(crashing)
151
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:52,480
- Hey, hey, hey, what do you
think this is, a freeway?
152
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:53,847
- Look Sam, now don't holler.
153
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,315
- I'm not hollering!
154
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:58,886
I'm not gonna holler either,
so just don't holler!
155
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,153
- Don't holler, because
I'm not gonna holler!
156
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:01,254
- I'm not, I'm not!
157
00:07:01,288 --> 00:07:02,089
- All right, take it easy!
158
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,691
- All right, I'm easy.
159
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:05,559
- Now you attacked me coming
down my side of the freeway,
160
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:06,660
the corridor.
161
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:08,228
- Yours?
162
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,563
Where'd you get that
can of beans, huh?
163
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,131
- Gentlemen, gentlemen, please.
164
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:12,099
I'm sure this could be settled
165
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,134
in a quiet and amicable manner.
166
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,736
- Butt out, will you, Mack?
167
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,606
- I happen to be a
police officer here
on official business.
168
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:19,940
- Oh. (laughs)
169
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,141
Why, I didn't know that.
170
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,043
I'm terribly sorry, officer.
171
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,277
But the thing is,
172
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,514
I've been 15 years in
this hospital here, sir,
173
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:29,182
with a perfect safety record,
174
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:32,686
until just now when Sam
runs his gurney into me.
175
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,622
- I ran into you?
176
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,223
You ran into me!
177
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,057
And I got witnesses,
178
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:38,859
you, you ran into me.
179
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:41,194
- I've seen this
happen before, officer.
180
00:07:41,228 --> 00:07:43,396
Sam tends to become
emotional in crisis.
181
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:46,867
- I am not concerned with
Sam's emotional problems.
182
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:50,270
Right now my only concern is
to get this man into isolation
183
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:53,507
before he contaminates this...
184
00:07:53,541 --> 00:07:56,176
What happened to O'Hara?
185
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,178
What happened to O'Hara?!
186
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,881
- That's funny, he was
here just a minute ago.
187
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:04,151
- I know he was here just a
minute ago, but he isn't here...
188
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,754
O'Hara, both O'Haras,
they've escaped!
189
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:09,089
Quick, surround the building!
190
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,591
- Me?
191
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,059
- I mean quick, take me
to the chief administrator
192
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,827
or I'll throw a cordon around
this entire neighborhood.
193
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,362
They shall not pass!
194
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,898
(scampering music)
195
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:18,966
(audience laughs)
196
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,835
(trembling music)
197
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,780
(audience laughs)
198
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,014
- What are we doing here?
199
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,082
- We're gonna borrow
this gentleman's room
200
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:36,183
while he's in surgery.
201
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,585
- What do we need a room for?
202
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:39,386
- As a temporary haven.
203
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:41,689
Sooner or later you're going
to have a take an examination
204
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,991
by a competent physician.
205
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,627
Otherwise, Brennan's gonna
ask for a full investigation.
206
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,996
- Well don't you just think
the doctor might notice these
207
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:52,065
and think I'm some kind of
interplanetary typhoid Mary?
208
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:54,267
- By that time the
stripes will be gone.
209
00:08:54,301 --> 00:08:55,535
Ah, here we are.
210
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:56,670
Now sit down, sit
down right there.
211
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:58,371
- What are you
gonna do with that?
212
00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,407
- A temporary disguise
in case someone comes in
213
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,075
while I'm gone.
214
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:02,910
- Gone?
215
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:04,211
Where are you going?
216
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,146
- There isn't time to go
home for the antidote,
217
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,681
so I'll have to
improvise something
218
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:10,684
with whatever primitive
Earth drugs are available
219
00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:11,919
at the local pharmacy.
220
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,386
- While you're down
at the local pharmacy,
221
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,288
would you mind getting a
large bottle of aspirin,
222
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:18,158
because I think I'm gonna
have a king size headache!
223
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:19,059
- Here.
224
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,594
Here.
225
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,062
You keep wrapping, because
I better check on Brennan.
226
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:26,499
You can never tell what
fearless foznick will do next.
227
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:29,703
- Of course I'm
positive, Dr. Carson.
228
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:33,807
After all, I took a second
major in pathology at Yale.
229
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:35,175
- Yes.
230
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,845
(audience laughs)
231
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:41,849
I am responsible for the
administration of this hospital,
232
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:45,118
and I will not allow my
patients' routine to be upset
233
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,354
on your diagnosis,
234
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,089
especially one of
which I've never heard
235
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,158
and one which I seriously doubt.
236
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:54,127
- I am aware of your
responsibilities, doctor,
237
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,363
and I am also aware of mine.
238
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,932
I assure you, the instant
you'll see young O'Hara,
239
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:03,270
you'll recognize him
as a menace to society.
240
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:06,406
- All right, but until I
examine him personally,
241
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,442
there will be no general alarm.
242
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:12,412
You may have the services of
the hospital security guards.
243
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,114
- Very well, doctor.
244
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,986
Men,
245
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,354
the important thing in
a situation like this
246
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:23,023
is perceptive leadership,
247
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,792
which I shall supply.
248
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:27,027
All right!
249
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:30,463
Follow me.
250
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,932
This is it.
251
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,868
(march-like music)
252
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,506
- If that man's head
were any bigger,
253
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:40,774
I could put it in a bottle
254
00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:43,576
and sell it to the
medical school.
255
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:46,747
- What an intriguing idea.
256
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:51,018
Even your own mummy
wouldn't know you, Tim.
257
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,753
- Will you stop with
the corny jokes?
258
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,054
What about Brennan?
259
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,255
- Well fortunately,
260
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,457
Brennan has a most
unfortunate personality,
261
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,560
which Dr. Carson found
something less than intriguing.
262
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:01,762
Hmm.
263
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,765
Now this should
complete the disguise.
264
00:11:05,699 --> 00:11:06,533
Yes.
265
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:10,503
- I feel like a
Medicare package.
266
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:14,875
- Bye.
267
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:17,978
(lighthearted music)
268
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:25,919
(audience laughs)
269
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:28,655
(nurse laughs)
270
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,024
(whistling)
271
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:47,707
- Can you tell me the way
to the nearest bus stop?
272
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:50,811
- Honestly, you should
be ashamed of yourself.
273
00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,479
- Oh yes, well I
suppose I should be,
274
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:54,647
but actually there's a
very reasonable explanation
275
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:55,916
for all this.
276
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,350
- I know what the
explanation is.
277
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,153
You're just a big
baby, Mr. Abernathy.
278
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:02,189
- Yes, well, Mr. Abernathy?
279
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,124
- Now we're going to be
a brave little soldier
280
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,493
and go right back to
surgery, aren't we?
281
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:07,360
- Surgery?
282
00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:09,897
I'll tell you what.
283
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:13,400
You go to surgery and I'll
try and drop in later.
284
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:18,238
- Mr. Abernathy, you're
not being very cooperative.
285
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,173
- Well, there's a very
good reason for that.
286
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,609
You see, I'm not
who you think I am.
287
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:23,844
No no, really.
288
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,816
My name happens to be,
289
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,218
mud, that's what
it happens to be.
290
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,452
- Pardon me, nurse,
291
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:33,386
but I'm looking for a
couple of miscreants
292
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,955
who are trying to escape.
293
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,824
- Well I have one here,
294
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:39,259
only I don't think he's
the one you're looking for.
295
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,261
- Oh, what seems
to be the problem?
296
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,264
- Well Mr. Abernathy here is
supposed to be in surgery,
297
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:47,000
but he evidently
panicked and ran away.
298
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:47,835
- Really?
299
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,336
Well now, Mr. Abernathy,
300
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:51,671
perhaps I can be
of some assistance.
301
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,874
There's really no need
to subject yourself
302
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:56,409
to that moment of abject terror.
303
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:57,744
- There isn't?
304
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:58,979
- Of course not.
305
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,948
Nurse, why don't you
give Mr. Abernathy here
306
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:03,516
a good strong sedative
to see him through?
307
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,552
- An excellent idea, officer.
308
00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:07,054
- A sedative?!
309
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:10,958
Oh no no no, I'll be a good
little soldier, honestly.
310
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:13,726
(bumbling music)
311
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:21,368
(lively music)
312
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:25,072
- We'd better hurry, Sam.
313
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,606
Dr. Blair must be running late
314
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:29,076
or he would've been calling
for Mr. Abernathy hours ago.
315
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,310
- Don't worry, ma'am,
316
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:31,979
I'll have him there
in a double jiffy.
317
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:33,213
- He shouldn't cause
any trouble this time.
318
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,983
I gave him a good
strong sedative.
319
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,151
- Yes, ma'am. (laughs)
320
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:41,454
(peaceful orchestral music)
321
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,724
(Sam sings to himself)
322
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:56,003
(strange music)
323
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,137
(audience laughs)
324
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:57,971
Wait!
325
00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:58,838
Come back here!
326
00:13:58,872 --> 00:13:59,806
Come back here!
327
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,108
What are you doing?
328
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,976
Two loose patients in one day?
329
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,045
I'll get a bad reputation!
330
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:07,680
Come back here with my patient!
331
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:12,052
(sneaky music)
332
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:16,423
- Here we are, Tim.
333
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:19,792
One swallow of this and
you'll be good as new.
334
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:22,529
(perplexed music)
335
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:24,397
Tim, are you asleep?
336
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,866
(Tim snores)
337
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:28,735
Tim!
338
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:30,703
Tim, wake up!
339
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:31,871
- Hmm?
340
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:33,140
Hmm hmm?
341
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,674
- Tim, look at me.
342
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,445
(dreamlike music)
343
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,284
- You're beautiful.
344
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,157
(Tim snores)
345
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,491
- Tim!
346
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,160
Tim!
347
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,094
- Hmm, hmm?
348
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:54,928
What, what?
349
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,529
- Tim.
350
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,464
Watch my finger.
351
00:14:57,497 --> 00:15:00,267
(hypnotic music)
352
00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:06,306
- What are you doing?
353
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,840
- I'm trying to
dissipate the sedative
354
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:10,978
by speeding up the flow of
blood through your brain.
355
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,413
- All right, all right!
356
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,915
I think my red carpal
cells are turning white!
357
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,317
- Are you awake?
358
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,186
- Well I guess so, more or less.
359
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:20,420
Did you get the antidote?
360
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:21,654
- Unfortunately, we
don't dare use it
361
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,390
now that you've been
given a sedative.
362
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,893
I have no idea what the
side effects might be.
363
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,096
- Well I'm willing
to take a chance.
364
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,331
- Thank you, Tim, but I'm not.
365
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,133
They could be disastrous.
366
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,935
We'll just have to let the
virus M run its natural course
367
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:38,972
and try to keep you out of
sight during the sanity process.
368
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:39,906
- The what?
369
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,308
- Unhappily, with virus M,
370
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,576
the manifestations become
rather spectacular,
371
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,046
and worse, they may
begin at any moment.
372
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,414
- That's what I like
about you, Uncle Martin!
373
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,983
You really know how
to put a guy at ease!
374
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,184
- Brennan's just
outside the elevator
375
00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:52,952
and it's about to stop
at the next floor.
376
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:55,755
(humorous music)
377
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:03,096
- That's odd, there's no
orderly with this patient.
378
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,467
(audience laughs)
379
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,635
What?
380
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,438
That's Mr. Abernathy
from room 412.
381
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,374
I was there just
a short while ago.
382
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:20,347
- Excuse me, Lieutenant,
are you using the elevator?
383
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,781
- Uh, no.
384
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,383
As a matter of fact,
this patient just came up
385
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,485
without any attendant.
386
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:26,419
- Yeah?
387
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:27,687
Boy, somebody's in big trouble.
388
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,123
The hospital's got very
strict rules about that.
389
00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:31,858
I'll have somebody check on it
390
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:34,061
as soon as I get this
patient into his room.
391
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:34,894
- [Brennan] Thank you.
392
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:37,830
(mysterious music)
393
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:42,001
(audience laughs)
394
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:47,207
- My theory is
they'll try to escape
395
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,209
through the boiler room.
396
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:52,712
Now you stand here while I
make a search of the area.
397
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:55,648
(suspicious music)
398
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,719
- [Orderly] That
patient is smoking!
399
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:00,887
- [Brennan] Is there some
sort of hospital rule
400
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,390
against patients smoking?
401
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:04,591
- He's gone.
402
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:07,527
(audience laughs)
403
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,196
- I'm beginning to think
you people don't know
404
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,797
how to run a hospital.
405
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:13,500
You send Mr. Abernathy up
here without an attendant
406
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,734
and then someone comes along
407
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:16,769
and practically
spirits him away.
408
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:18,571
- What's Mr. Abernathy
got to do with it?
409
00:17:18,605 --> 00:17:20,006
That's Mr. Abernathy in there.
410
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,474
I don't know who
your patient was.
411
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:22,675
- Nonsense.
412
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,477
I was in room 412 when
they brought him in.
413
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:27,714
I never forget a
face, even when...
414
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:30,583
I never saw his face,
only the bandage.
415
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:31,784
(snaps fingers)
416
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,587
O'Hara has done it again.
417
00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:36,456
Come on, they had
to go this way.
418
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,426
(determined music)
419
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:45,031
(feverish music)
420
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,771
- Uncle Martin, do something!
421
00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:53,406
I'm going up in smoke!
422
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,574
- I am doing something, Tim.
423
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:55,775
I'm looking for an
empty room to put you in
424
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:56,876
during the crisis.
425
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:58,245
Ah, there's one.
426
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:00,447
- Crisis?!
427
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:01,681
What crisis?!
428
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:02,782
You didn't say there
was gonna be a crisis!
429
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,351
- I didn't wanna worry you, Tim.
430
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:05,152
The fact of the matter is
you're gonna be a lot worse
431
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,619
before you're better.
432
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:10,223
- Uncle Martin, what
you said about a crisis,
433
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:11,591
you didn't mean that?
434
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:12,759
- I have every reason
to believe, Tim,
435
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,026
that you will survive.
436
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,595
I'm not so sure about myself.
437
00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:17,197
- Well what are you
supposed to mean by that?!
438
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:18,064
What are you doing
with those blankets?
439
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,732
- Protecting myself.
440
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:21,834
In a few moments
your temperature is
going to start down,
441
00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,903
and it's going to be
very cold in here.
442
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,638
- But what does my temperature
have to do with the weather?
443
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:26,573
- Everything.
444
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:27,707
Your system will be throwing off
445
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,976
heat and cold
molecules alternately
446
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:32,579
as it expels the submicroscopic
infectious agents
447
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,113
of Virus M.
448
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:36,316
You will experience a great
deal less discomfort than I.
449
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:38,451
- Oh now just a minute,
you can't mean...
450
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:41,588
Hey, hey, hey, the water
cooler, it's freezing up!
451
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:44,357
(troubled music)
452
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,996
- They couldn't
have gone that way.
453
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:51,198
No.
454
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:51,764
They must be in
one of those rooms.
455
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:52,632
- Yeah.
456
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:55,668
- Check that door.
457
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:58,605
(knocking on the door)
458
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,507
- That wasn't so
bad, Uncle Martin.
459
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:01,941
- Don't cheer yet.
460
00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,142
Your temperature is
going to keep vacillating
461
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:05,011
at a continually
broadening range.
462
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:07,614
(ominous music)
463
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:11,050
(glass shattering)
464
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,952
(dramatic music)
465
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:13,786
(knocking on the door)
466
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:14,721
- Open up in there!
467
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:17,056
Open up, this is the police!
468
00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:18,691
O'Hara, are you in there?!
469
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:19,526
- That sounds like Brennan!
470
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:20,360
- It is Brennan.
471
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:21,861
- What are we gonna do?!
472
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:23,430
- Well there's nothing we
can do except sweat it out.
473
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:25,265
(uneasy music)
474
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,734
(Tim groans)
475
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,253
(audience laughs)
476
00:19:58,798 --> 00:20:01,801
- There's a jungle
growing in there.
477
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,437
Quick, get Dr. Carson!
478
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:05,972
We've got to save his office!
479
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:06,973
Go.
480
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:07,840
Go!
481
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:13,179
("Jingle Bells")
482
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:17,517
(delirious music)
483
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:27,860
- Tim, are you all right?
484
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:28,695
- I think so.
485
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:29,629
Is it over?
486
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:31,664
- We'll know in a minute.
487
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:35,302
(mystical music)
488
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:38,671
You're cured.
489
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,440
Your face is still flushed,
490
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:43,009
but it doesn't look
like anything more
than a mild sunburn.
491
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,243
- Oh!
492
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:45,345
Well that's what I
told Brennan I had.
493
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:46,846
- Mm, so you did,
494
00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:48,748
and that may prove to
have been an inspiration.
495
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:51,017
(thudding)
496
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:53,620
- What's that?
497
00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:54,787
- It sounds like our bloodhound
498
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:57,324
has turned into a battering ram.
499
00:20:57,357 --> 00:21:01,294
Perhaps I'd better tidy up if
we're going to have company.
500
00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:03,596
(thudding)
501
00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:06,366
(audience laughs)
502
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:08,368
- What in the name
of Mabel's metatarsal
503
00:21:08,401 --> 00:21:09,836
do you think you're doing?
504
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:11,738
- There's a howling blizzard
in your office, doctor,
505
00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:13,773
and there are two men in
there freezing to death.
506
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,675
- A howling blizzard?
507
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:16,976
What is this?
508
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:19,078
You were babbling about
a steaming jungle.
509
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,980
- That was before the blizzard.
510
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,615
(thudding)
511
00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:25,652
(suspenseful music)
512
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:34,727
(audience laughs)
513
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:40,099
- Lieutenant?
514
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:44,337
Could there possibly
be some explanation
515
00:21:44,371 --> 00:21:46,673
to your irrational behavior
516
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:49,942
ever since you came
into this hospital?
517
00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:51,378
- This whole room,
518
00:21:51,411 --> 00:21:53,680
there was a raging
snowstorm in here, doctor,
519
00:21:53,713 --> 00:21:55,181
and the wind was howling,
520
00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:58,918
and just before that it
was like a steaming jungle.
521
00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:00,853
All right, all right!
522
00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:04,557
I know I saw red stripes
on young O'Hara's face.
523
00:22:04,591 --> 00:22:07,026
- Offhand, I'd say this patient
524
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:09,896
has a simple case of sunburn.
525
00:22:09,929 --> 00:22:11,197
- Oh I tried to tell
you that, Brennan.
526
00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:13,165
- Well I did see red
stripes on your face.
527
00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:15,568
I did see red stripes
on his face, doctor.
528
00:22:15,602 --> 00:22:17,537
I saw it with my own eyes.
529
00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:20,339
O'Hara, what are you
trying to pull off here?
530
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:21,774
You know as well as I do
531
00:22:21,808 --> 00:22:25,144
he had a classic case of
Tropicanus maladitis raritis.
532
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:26,846
- Well I can truthfully
say, Lieutenant Brennan,
533
00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:29,849
that I know nothing of the sort.
534
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:32,318
I'm afraid the Lieutenant
has been overworked, doctor.
535
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:33,586
I've noticed he really
hasn't been himself
536
00:22:33,620 --> 00:22:35,388
in the past few days.
537
00:22:38,057 --> 00:22:40,460
- Tell me, Lieutenant,
538
00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:41,861
when was the last time
539
00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:45,197
you had a complete physical
and mental checkup?
540
00:22:45,231 --> 00:22:46,232
- Only last month, doctor.
541
00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:47,634
We always have our checkup.
542
00:22:47,667 --> 00:22:49,936
Oh, now wait, doctor, there's
nothing wrong with me.
543
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:52,405
- Of course there
isn't, Lieutenant.
544
00:22:52,439 --> 00:22:55,307
However, I have a very
good friend down the hall.
545
00:22:55,341 --> 00:22:56,576
Oh you'll like him.
546
00:22:56,609 --> 00:22:57,810
He's a doctor too.
547
00:22:57,844 --> 00:22:58,745
Come along.
548
00:23:01,948 --> 00:23:03,382
- It occurs to me, Tim,
549
00:23:03,416 --> 00:23:05,017
that our old friend,
Detective William Brennan,
550
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:06,419
may never be the same.
551
00:23:06,453 --> 00:23:09,656
- It occurs to me that anything
would be an improvement.
552
00:23:09,689 --> 00:23:11,190
- Agreed.
553
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:14,326
(happy music)
554
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:17,196
(dreamlike music)
555
00:23:21,501 --> 00:23:22,334
- Oh no.
556
00:23:23,436 --> 00:23:24,270
Not again.
557
00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:26,806
Uncle Martin!
558
00:23:27,874 --> 00:23:28,775
- Hmm?
559
00:23:28,808 --> 00:23:29,709
What, Tim?
560
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:31,944
- Your ears, they're pss!
561
00:23:31,978 --> 00:23:32,912
- Oh.
562
00:23:32,945 --> 00:23:34,246
Well no need for alarm, Tim.
563
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:37,283
You are forever
immune from Virus M.
564
00:23:38,551 --> 00:23:39,351
- I am?
565
00:23:39,385 --> 00:23:40,853
- Mm-hmm.
566
00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:42,221
That's the one area in which
an earthling's physical system
567
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:43,790
is superior to a martian's.
568
00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:46,459
You can build an immunity
to certain diseases.
569
00:23:46,493 --> 00:23:47,660
- Oh.
570
00:23:47,694 --> 00:23:49,328
Well, (laughs) I'm glad
there's one that...
571
00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:50,530
(knocking on the door)
572
00:23:50,563 --> 00:23:51,397
- Brennan.
573
00:23:54,133 --> 00:23:56,035
No no, Brennan,
don't come in here.
574
00:23:56,068 --> 00:23:58,638
- I assure you, it
was not my idea.
575
00:23:58,671 --> 00:24:00,873
It was my analyst's.
576
00:24:00,907 --> 00:24:03,676
He advised me that my first
step towards rehabilitation
577
00:24:03,710 --> 00:24:05,778
was to apologize for my actions.
578
00:24:05,812 --> 00:24:07,146
- We accept your
apology, goodbye.
579
00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:10,049
- Now see here, O'Hara,
I came to apologize
580
00:24:10,082 --> 00:24:12,384
and I'm going to apologize.
581
00:24:12,418 --> 00:24:15,154
(humorous music)
582
00:24:16,422 --> 00:24:19,258
(audience laughs)
583
00:24:20,727 --> 00:24:23,162
Now, I do admit that after
all that's happened today,
584
00:24:23,195 --> 00:24:25,732
my face is a bit red.
585
00:24:25,765 --> 00:24:26,766
- A bit red?
586
00:24:27,634 --> 00:24:29,101
- Well, do you accept my apology
587
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:32,872
or am I going to stay
here until I turn blue?
588
00:24:35,942 --> 00:24:37,610
- Well just don't stand there.
589
00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,411
Let's get the antidote.
590
00:24:39,445 --> 00:24:43,049
If he sees those stripes,
we'll wind up wearing some.
591
00:24:43,082 --> 00:24:46,018
(silly music)
592
00:24:46,052 --> 00:24:48,721
(comical music)
593
00:25:22,254 --> 00:25:24,323
(illuminated music)
41231
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