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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,325 --> 00:00:02,968 _ 2 00:00:03,078 --> 00:00:04,608 Avoid crowded aisles, 3 00:00:04,633 --> 00:00:06,327 stay six feet away from everyone at all times. 4 00:00:06,351 --> 00:00:08,601 Do not let your mind wander. Do not touch your face. 5 00:00:08,637 --> 00:00:10,968 Do not forget to wipe your credit card down with sanitary wipes. 6 00:00:10,992 --> 00:00:12,663 - Got 'em. - Are you sure you're up for this? 7 00:00:12,687 --> 00:00:14,318 I usually do all the quarantine shopping. 8 00:00:14,343 --> 00:00:15,851 I know where everything is. I can get in and out... 9 00:00:15,875 --> 00:00:18,355 Just give me the list. I'll cross everything off. 10 00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:20,661 You're not the only one who wants to get out of the house. 11 00:00:20,962 --> 00:00:22,515 Okay. 12 00:00:24,015 --> 00:00:25,380 Good luck. 13 00:00:25,587 --> 00:00:27,263 Can I kiss the baby goodbye? 14 00:00:27,515 --> 00:00:30,421 If you don't come back, I'll tell her how brave her daddy was. 15 00:00:32,983 --> 00:00:34,081 Got this. 16 00:00:34,972 --> 00:00:35,972 Got it. 17 00:00:35,997 --> 00:00:37,374 Shit. 18 00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:39,108 Still got it. 19 00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,250 I don't have a good feeling about this. 20 00:00:46,420 --> 00:00:48,541 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie 21 00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:57,060 What do you think? 22 00:00:57,496 --> 00:00:59,132 I love it. 23 00:00:59,157 --> 00:01:01,600 Great, 'cause I made it for you. 24 00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:04,280 Aw, what would I do without you? 25 00:01:04,305 --> 00:01:07,470 Probably spray your nasty oral droplets 26 00:01:07,495 --> 00:01:08,867 all over vulnerable people. 27 00:01:10,177 --> 00:01:11,509 - That's very true. - Hmm. 28 00:01:11,545 --> 00:01:13,525 Beautiful mask for a beautiful girl. 29 00:01:20,791 --> 00:01:22,821 - Foot rub? - Yes, please. 30 00:01:25,658 --> 00:01:29,738 Uh, what, w-what is happening with the hairiness on the leg? 31 00:01:29,763 --> 00:01:31,625 Oh, it's called "feminism." 32 00:01:31,650 --> 00:01:32,922 You might wanna look it up. 33 00:01:32,947 --> 00:01:34,608 - Fema-what? - Femi-nism. 34 00:01:34,633 --> 00:01:35,758 Oh, okay. 35 00:01:38,739 --> 00:01:40,150 Oh my God. 36 00:01:40,841 --> 00:01:42,236 Hot shower guy. 37 00:02:07,235 --> 00:02:10,361 - That was a short one. - They're all too short. 38 00:02:11,088 --> 00:02:13,589 Unfortunately, for me, I think he's straight. 39 00:02:13,853 --> 00:02:15,873 But that is great for you. 40 00:02:15,898 --> 00:02:18,228 He is not my type. 41 00:02:18,253 --> 00:02:21,103 I doubt he's ever read a book in his entire life. 42 00:02:21,781 --> 00:02:23,117 Okay, I'm officially bored. 43 00:02:23,142 --> 00:02:24,314 What do you want to do? 44 00:02:24,350 --> 00:02:25,650 I don't know. 45 00:02:25,685 --> 00:02:26,890 What do you wanna do? 46 00:02:26,915 --> 00:02:28,220 What do you wanna do? 47 00:02:28,687 --> 00:02:30,486 What do you wanna do? 48 00:02:32,995 --> 00:02:35,823 _ 49 00:02:37,986 --> 00:02:40,799 Climb Your Partner Challenge, take one. 50 00:02:40,824 --> 00:02:45,417 _ 51 00:03:03,055 --> 00:03:04,565 Online college blows. 52 00:03:04,589 --> 00:03:06,834 I can't believe we're missing the end of our freshman years. 53 00:03:06,858 --> 00:03:08,524 Yeah, but have you seen the projections? 54 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,260 They're saying, like, 200,000 people could die! 55 00:03:11,296 --> 00:03:13,862 But, like, mostly old people, right? 56 00:03:13,898 --> 00:03:16,599 Why can't everyone over the age of 65 stay at home 57 00:03:16,624 --> 00:03:19,198 so the rest of us can go out and, like, stimulate the economy? 58 00:03:19,223 --> 00:03:21,281 Not everything's about money, Jordan. 59 00:03:21,306 --> 00:03:23,372 This thing is disproportionately affecting 60 00:03:23,408 --> 00:03:25,107 black and brown and poor communities. 61 00:03:25,142 --> 00:03:26,735 You need to check your white privilege! 62 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,545 For your information, I watched "The Help" last night. 63 00:03:29,570 --> 00:03:33,293 Jordan! That movie is so problematic! Are you joking? 64 00:03:33,318 --> 00:03:35,698 Why? It made me cry. 65 00:03:35,723 --> 00:03:37,122 Okay, where should I start? 66 00:03:37,147 --> 00:03:40,533 Um, it was written and directed by a white man, 67 00:03:40,558 --> 00:03:42,891 and it totally promotes the white savior trope. 68 00:03:42,927 --> 00:03:45,167 How is it that you go to Berkeley and you don't get this? 69 00:03:45,196 --> 00:03:47,612 You know, I really don't need a lecture right now. 70 00:03:47,998 --> 00:03:49,512 I'm totally over this. 71 00:03:49,537 --> 00:03:52,010 The problem with Americans is that they're selfish, 72 00:03:52,035 --> 00:03:54,669 and they're not willing to make the smallest sacrifices 73 00:03:54,694 --> 00:03:56,377 to keep other people safe. 74 00:03:56,707 --> 00:03:58,619 So are you gonna get tested? 75 00:03:58,644 --> 00:04:01,687 No way. That swab they stick up your nose really hurts. 76 00:04:01,712 --> 00:04:05,079 Oh! So, I have to make sacrifices, but you don't? 77 00:04:05,115 --> 00:04:07,563 I'm not leaving my bubble, you are. 78 00:04:07,588 --> 00:04:10,088 Mm. Okay. All right. 79 00:04:11,221 --> 00:04:12,221 Hey. 80 00:04:13,631 --> 00:04:15,705 That's a good look. 81 00:04:16,116 --> 00:04:18,537 Oh, yeah, it's my video call apparel. 82 00:04:18,562 --> 00:04:21,009 Business up top, party on the bottom. 83 00:04:21,034 --> 00:04:22,397 You seem busier than ever. 84 00:04:22,422 --> 00:04:25,490 Ah, it takes a global pandemic for people to realize 85 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,526 they need life insurance. 86 00:04:29,306 --> 00:04:30,538 Seriously? 87 00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:33,440 You're supposed to wash and sanitize every hour. 88 00:04:33,542 --> 00:04:34,953 Your hands, not your ear. 89 00:04:34,978 --> 00:04:36,577 What if I touch my ear with my hand 90 00:04:36,602 --> 00:04:38,338 and then I touch my face? 91 00:04:38,815 --> 00:04:41,330 Hey, I've been meaning to tell you 92 00:04:41,355 --> 00:04:43,744 Jordan's gonna come and quarantine with us. 93 00:04:45,922 --> 00:04:48,089 Jordan? Sophie's boyfriend? 94 00:04:48,124 --> 00:04:50,124 - He's moving in with us? - It was either that, 95 00:04:50,149 --> 00:04:52,061 or she was threatening to go quarantine with his family. 96 00:04:52,085 --> 00:04:53,571 And I have no say in this? 97 00:04:53,596 --> 00:04:55,096 We have no say in this. 98 00:04:55,121 --> 00:04:56,766 That's 'cause you cater to her every need. 99 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,572 I do not. 100 00:04:58,597 --> 00:05:00,130 How many parents put up 101 00:05:00,155 --> 00:05:03,383 a "Welcome Home to our Quaranteen" banner for their kids? 102 00:05:03,408 --> 00:05:05,360 I was just trying to soften the blow. 103 00:05:05,385 --> 00:05:07,109 You know how intense our daughter can be. 104 00:05:07,143 --> 00:05:09,158 How long is that gonna stay up, anyway? 105 00:05:10,446 --> 00:05:12,122 Feel free to take it down. 106 00:05:12,147 --> 00:05:14,092 And while you're at it, why don't you do some dishes 107 00:05:14,116 --> 00:05:15,954 or, I don't know, cook a meal or two, 108 00:05:15,979 --> 00:05:17,296 'cause I've been cooking and cleaning up 109 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:19,586 after you guys for weeks, and I'm tired of it. 110 00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,893 I just wish you had said no to her. 111 00:05:22,825 --> 00:05:24,291 Why don't you say no to her, Paul? 112 00:05:24,327 --> 00:05:25,469 Watch her head explode? 113 00:05:25,494 --> 00:05:27,541 - Oh, I will. - Good. 114 00:05:27,969 --> 00:05:30,204 Hey, um, Jordan's getting tested tomorrow 115 00:05:30,229 --> 00:05:31,682 so he can move in this weekend. 116 00:05:34,903 --> 00:05:36,502 I love you, Dad! 117 00:05:38,674 --> 00:05:40,140 I made you sourdough, sweetheart. 118 00:05:40,175 --> 00:05:42,142 Smells good, thanks. I'm gonna go text Jordan 119 00:05:42,177 --> 00:05:43,910 to remind him to bring his swimsuit. 120 00:05:45,838 --> 00:05:47,070 Way to say no, Dad. 121 00:05:47,095 --> 00:05:48,659 Oh, what was I supposed to do? 122 00:05:48,684 --> 00:05:50,182 You already said yes. 123 00:05:54,122 --> 00:05:55,766 Maybe we should just tell her. 124 00:05:55,791 --> 00:05:57,149 That we don't like Jordan? 125 00:05:57,174 --> 00:05:59,137 That we're separated and you don't live here anymore. 126 00:05:59,161 --> 00:06:02,039 I thought you said you didn't want to see her head explode. 127 00:06:02,064 --> 00:06:04,627 Maybe she's not as dramatic as we're giving her credit for. 128 00:06:04,652 --> 00:06:06,343 Oh my God! 129 00:06:06,368 --> 00:06:08,101 Oh my God! Oh my God! 130 00:06:08,136 --> 00:06:09,269 What's wrong? 131 00:06:09,294 --> 00:06:12,195 Jordan just broke up with me! 132 00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,706 In a text! 133 00:06:13,731 --> 00:06:14,968 He did? 134 00:06:15,377 --> 00:06:17,143 I mean, oh no. 135 00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,467 What did he say, sweetheart? 136 00:06:18,492 --> 00:06:20,354 He said I'm too intense! 137 00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:21,994 Can you believe that? 138 00:06:22,584 --> 00:06:23,783 No! 139 00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:24,985 How can he do this to me? 140 00:06:25,020 --> 00:06:27,053 We're in the middle of a pandemic! 141 00:06:27,089 --> 00:06:28,654 The world could be ending! 142 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:30,145 - My life is over! - Oh, sweet... 143 00:06:30,170 --> 00:06:31,666 Dad! 144 00:06:31,821 --> 00:06:33,619 He's an asshole. 145 00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:35,037 There, there. 146 00:06:35,366 --> 00:06:37,593 I'm sorry. 147 00:06:41,629 --> 00:06:43,557 What are you doing? 148 00:06:51,946 --> 00:06:54,257 Okay, so remember the guy I was virtually dating? 149 00:06:54,292 --> 00:06:55,492 Uh... Chris? 150 00:06:55,517 --> 00:06:56,883 - No. - Jeremy? 151 00:06:56,908 --> 00:06:58,350 No. Niles. 152 00:06:58,375 --> 00:07:00,229 Mmm, you haven't told me about him. 153 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:01,520 Okay, well, anyways, 154 00:07:01,545 --> 00:07:03,012 he wants me to move in with him 155 00:07:03,037 --> 00:07:05,167 and quarantine together. 156 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:07,536 That is crazy! You don't even know him. 157 00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,239 Just promise me you won't even think about that. 158 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,530 Ugh, okay, you're right. 159 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,365 Little Charli just put my face in her hands 160 00:07:13,401 --> 00:07:15,463 and said "Dada, I'm so happy you're home." 161 00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,752 Aww, that makes two of us. 162 00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:20,939 Hi, James! 163 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,704 - Hey, hey. - Hey, guys, 164 00:07:22,729 --> 00:07:24,652 by any chance, are y'all pregnant? 165 00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:26,041 No. 166 00:07:26,657 --> 00:07:28,123 No. 167 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,781 You got peach yogurt. 168 00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,082 Charli won't each peach. 169 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,877 She's three. She'll eat whatever we give her. 170 00:07:32,902 --> 00:07:34,735 Okay, you get her to try it. 171 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,197 All right, I will. 172 00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:40,172 - Got the thing? - The spoon? Here. 173 00:07:40,937 --> 00:07:42,060 Thank you. 174 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,039 - Mm-hmm. - Thank you. 175 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,289 Good luck. 176 00:07:49,078 --> 00:07:51,346 Okay, girl, are you sure you're not pregnant? 177 00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:52,948 Because I had a dream that you were, 178 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,639 and I have the sixth sense, you know. 179 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,273 Remember that one time I dreamt 180 00:07:56,308 --> 00:07:58,275 that Erica and Bow Wow were gonna get divorced? 181 00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:01,069 Yeah, you didn't need cosmic powers to see that one coming. 182 00:08:01,094 --> 00:08:02,813 No, we're not even thinking about a baby 183 00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:04,648 for another two years at least. 184 00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:08,823 No! No peaches, Dada, no! 185 00:08:08,848 --> 00:08:10,097 Uh... 186 00:08:10,122 --> 00:08:11,589 Daddy, no! 187 00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,898 Sounds like a fail for James. 188 00:08:16,109 --> 00:08:17,439 What's that child have against peaches? 189 00:08:17,463 --> 00:08:18,796 That's what I wanna know. 190 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,531 What did peaches ever do to her? 191 00:08:20,556 --> 00:08:22,810 Okay, I'm gonna leave you two lovebirds alone. 192 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,039 Call me later, girl. 193 00:08:24,064 --> 00:08:25,196 Bye. 194 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,040 Hey, is this everything? 195 00:08:28,065 --> 00:08:29,650 Where are the apples? 196 00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,909 And the string cheese? And toothpaste? 197 00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:33,662 - Weren't on the list. - Yes, they were. 198 00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:35,956 No, they were not. I crossed everything off. 199 00:08:35,981 --> 00:08:37,525 I take it from the shelf, put it in the cart, 200 00:08:37,549 --> 00:08:40,025 put a line through it. From the shelf to... 201 00:08:40,986 --> 00:08:43,065 You didn't tell me there was stuff on the back. 202 00:08:44,556 --> 00:08:47,416 I didn't know there was stuff on the back! 203 00:08:48,245 --> 00:08:49,578 It's okay. 204 00:08:49,956 --> 00:08:51,923 I'll just order it tonight. 205 00:08:56,150 --> 00:08:57,596 You know... 206 00:08:58,637 --> 00:09:00,775 what if we did talk about having another baby? 207 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:08,658 I have been kicked... 208 00:09:09,444 --> 00:09:10,924 peed on, 209 00:09:10,949 --> 00:09:13,477 smeared in peanut butter, 210 00:09:13,502 --> 00:09:15,322 called Poop Butt Mama 211 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:18,336 about 20 times a day, and it's only 10:30 in the morning. 212 00:09:18,361 --> 00:09:20,056 But you are the cutest Poop Butt Mama 213 00:09:20,091 --> 00:09:21,368 I've ever seen in my whole life. 214 00:09:21,392 --> 00:09:23,125 James, she's finally sleeping 215 00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:24,704 through the night again in her own bed, 216 00:09:24,728 --> 00:09:26,877 and she's not in diapers anymore. 217 00:09:27,113 --> 00:09:29,666 You really wanna go back to that baby phase again? 218 00:09:29,886 --> 00:09:31,252 Maybe. 219 00:09:31,815 --> 00:09:35,371 I spent three years with Charli at home 220 00:09:35,396 --> 00:09:37,229 while you built your career, 221 00:09:37,859 --> 00:09:39,775 and I was fine with that. 222 00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:42,033 Just feels like it's my turn. 223 00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:44,390 No, you're right. I was just thinking out loud. 224 00:09:44,415 --> 00:09:46,848 If we are in this quarantine thing for a year 225 00:09:46,873 --> 00:09:48,963 before things are back up and running again, 226 00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:51,049 I was just, you know, I'm home. 227 00:09:51,487 --> 00:09:53,247 Just thinking it would make sense that we... 228 00:09:54,291 --> 00:09:56,235 you know, maybe worked on another little love child. 229 00:09:56,259 --> 00:09:58,437 But you're right. It's, it's your time. 230 00:09:58,462 --> 00:10:00,662 I feel it too. It's all good. 231 00:10:01,364 --> 00:10:03,231 So, you don't have to worry about that now. 232 00:10:03,256 --> 00:10:05,361 - Thank you. - Yeah. 233 00:10:13,110 --> 00:10:15,471 What if this is the end of the world 234 00:10:15,496 --> 00:10:17,525 and we both die alone? 235 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,356 We won't, we'll die together. 236 00:10:19,381 --> 00:10:20,446 Mmm. 237 00:10:20,825 --> 00:10:23,095 Yeah, but my therapist was saying 238 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,620 a lot of normal people have been joining 239 00:10:25,655 --> 00:10:27,254 the dating apps 240 00:10:27,279 --> 00:10:28,919 'cause they have all this time to reflect 241 00:10:28,944 --> 00:10:30,434 and they realize 242 00:10:30,459 --> 00:10:32,793 the one thing missing in their lives 243 00:10:32,818 --> 00:10:34,088 is true love. 244 00:10:34,296 --> 00:10:36,030 You know who else has a lot of time 245 00:10:36,065 --> 00:10:37,632 to go on the dating apps? 246 00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:39,322 Psychopaths. 247 00:10:39,836 --> 00:10:42,994 True. But I was thinking, 248 00:10:43,728 --> 00:10:47,986 since we pick such horrible people for ourselves 249 00:10:48,011 --> 00:10:51,278 maybe... we could pick for each other. 250 00:10:51,848 --> 00:10:53,547 - Mmm. - Please! 251 00:10:53,572 --> 00:10:55,017 Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. 252 00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:57,905 You know me better than literally anybody. 253 00:10:58,121 --> 00:11:00,701 Fine. Okay. 254 00:11:01,490 --> 00:11:04,157 - Well, give me yours. - Okay... 255 00:11:06,327 --> 00:11:08,358 I'm going to find you the love of your life. 256 00:11:14,102 --> 00:11:17,003 Um... your profile says 257 00:11:17,039 --> 00:11:19,305 you're seeking men and women? 258 00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,639 - Is that a mistake? - No. 259 00:11:26,782 --> 00:11:28,682 I don't know. I just... Lately I've been feeling 260 00:11:28,717 --> 00:11:30,740 like my sexuality is evolving. 261 00:11:30,765 --> 00:11:32,217 Like... 262 00:11:32,242 --> 00:11:34,647 kinda been interested in having sex with women. 263 00:11:35,057 --> 00:11:37,323 Um... like, 264 00:11:37,358 --> 00:11:39,258 like, anybody that we know? 265 00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:40,295 Mm. 266 00:11:41,137 --> 00:11:43,039 Ooh, kinda like Daenerys 267 00:11:43,064 --> 00:11:45,164 before she burns down King's Landing. 268 00:11:45,199 --> 00:11:48,452 She was really freaking hot up until the end. 269 00:11:50,278 --> 00:11:52,314 I don't know. I'm having all these dreams 270 00:11:52,339 --> 00:11:53,944 where I'm having sex with women. 271 00:11:53,969 --> 00:11:55,686 Just seems so... 272 00:11:56,402 --> 00:11:58,334 silky and nice. 273 00:11:58,359 --> 00:11:59,881 Like a perfume ad. 274 00:12:05,485 --> 00:12:06,863 Okay, just pick a guy for me for now. 275 00:12:06,887 --> 00:12:09,428 Okaaay! 276 00:12:16,006 --> 00:12:17,508 So when did you move to LA? 277 00:12:17,532 --> 00:12:18,609 A couple years ago. 278 00:12:18,634 --> 00:12:19,999 Moved here for work. 279 00:12:20,024 --> 00:12:22,894 I'm a fashion stylist for photo shoots 280 00:12:22,919 --> 00:12:24,382 and then commercials. 281 00:12:24,407 --> 00:12:26,007 - Fashion. - Whole bunch of stuff. 282 00:12:26,032 --> 00:12:27,599 Fashion is not my forte. 283 00:12:27,624 --> 00:12:30,823 Um, I'm presently wearing cargo shorts. 284 00:12:31,624 --> 00:12:32,624 Wow. 285 00:12:37,637 --> 00:12:38,835 Um... 286 00:12:39,617 --> 00:12:42,476 So what do you... Wha... wha... What, um, what do you do? 287 00:12:42,501 --> 00:12:44,201 - Sorry. - What do you do? 288 00:12:44,226 --> 00:12:46,468 Oh, I work for The Trevor Project. 289 00:12:46,493 --> 00:12:48,460 Get out. I, uh... 290 00:12:48,866 --> 00:12:51,570 Actually, sometimes I volunteer at the LGBTQ Center. 291 00:12:52,078 --> 00:12:54,984 Well, look at us, being good people. 292 00:12:56,084 --> 00:12:58,584 Can I redact the thing that I said about the cargo shorts? 293 00:12:58,619 --> 00:13:00,421 'Cause now I really want you to like me. 294 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,498 Mm... kind of unforgivable. 295 00:13:05,437 --> 00:13:08,382 Yeah, so I grew up in Colorado. 296 00:13:08,407 --> 00:13:10,151 Man, yeah, I miss the hiking. It doesn't help 297 00:13:10,175 --> 00:13:12,309 that all the trails and parks are closed down here now. 298 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:15,534 Yeah. My roommate Oscar and I used to hike Fryman, 299 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:17,593 like, every Saturday. 300 00:13:17,618 --> 00:13:18,884 No way! I love Fryman. 301 00:13:18,909 --> 00:13:21,874 And then we always do bottomless at Firefly. 302 00:13:21,899 --> 00:13:24,351 Yeah. Yeah, that's our spot too. 303 00:13:24,376 --> 00:13:26,437 I love their, um... 304 00:13:26,462 --> 00:13:28,729 buckwheat and cactus flour pancakes. 305 00:13:28,754 --> 00:13:32,161 Oh. Have you tried the jackfruit huevos rancheros? 306 00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,068 I have not. 307 00:13:34,789 --> 00:13:36,266 I feel like I spend a lot of my time 308 00:13:36,290 --> 00:13:38,034 just staring at the refrigerator trying to figure out 309 00:13:38,058 --> 00:13:39,381 if I'm hungry or anxious. 310 00:13:39,406 --> 00:13:41,659 Hungxious! Yes, totally. 311 00:13:41,684 --> 00:13:43,895 - Yes. - Yeah, I mean, this is, this is insane. 312 00:13:43,930 --> 00:13:45,708 Like, I don't even know what day of the week it is. 313 00:13:45,732 --> 00:13:48,179 Well, I do. It's your lucky day, 314 00:13:48,204 --> 00:13:53,044 because you can't spell virus without U and I. 315 00:13:54,111 --> 00:13:56,142 I'm sorry, I had to. 316 00:13:56,475 --> 00:13:59,032 Yeah. Queerentine pick-up lines are... 317 00:13:59,057 --> 00:14:00,247 - the worst. - The worst. 318 00:14:00,272 --> 00:14:01,623 Yeah. They're gross. 319 00:14:01,648 --> 00:14:04,349 "If COVID-19 doesn't take you out, can I?" 320 00:14:04,374 --> 00:14:07,692 "Hey, can I come over? We could use Purell as lube." 321 00:14:08,726 --> 00:14:12,427 "I like my virus like I like my men, easy to spread." 322 00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:13,764 Okay, that one's kind of impressive. 323 00:14:13,788 --> 00:14:15,223 Like, it's better. 324 00:14:16,308 --> 00:14:18,073 So glad that we found each other. 325 00:14:18,098 --> 00:14:20,597 Um, but that said, are you an N95? 326 00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:22,333 'Cause I really want you on my face. 327 00:14:25,302 --> 00:14:28,278 So, uh, what have you been watching these days? 328 00:14:28,524 --> 00:14:32,220 We just watched "Love Actually." 329 00:14:32,245 --> 00:14:33,710 It's our favorite movie. 330 00:14:34,347 --> 00:14:35,386 What about you? 331 00:14:35,411 --> 00:14:38,067 Uh, actually I just watched "Justice League" again. 332 00:14:38,614 --> 00:14:41,396 Isn't that the one where you inexplicably see 333 00:14:41,421 --> 00:14:43,387 up Wonder Woman's skirt or something like that? 334 00:14:43,423 --> 00:14:46,059 Yeah. Oh, it's pretty epic. 335 00:14:46,084 --> 00:14:47,600 Hey, You know what? We should watch 336 00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,492 "Batman V. Superman" on our next date. 337 00:14:49,517 --> 00:14:51,917 It's like a cinematic masterpiece. Seriously. 338 00:14:51,942 --> 00:14:55,098 And then we can make our way through the entire DC Universe! 339 00:14:55,941 --> 00:14:58,779 ... evidence that our collective sacrifice is working 340 00:14:58,804 --> 00:15:01,415 this time, as Dr. Fauci said... 341 00:15:03,211 --> 00:15:04,787 Now is the time not to let up. 342 00:15:04,812 --> 00:15:06,654 We gotta keep washing our hands... 343 00:15:06,679 --> 00:15:08,379 Hello! 344 00:15:08,404 --> 00:15:10,193 Hey, Ma, how you doing? 345 00:15:10,218 --> 00:15:13,373 I'm doing just fine, sweetie. 346 00:15:13,398 --> 00:15:14,928 How's my grand-baby? 347 00:15:14,953 --> 00:15:16,453 She is the most adorable 348 00:15:16,478 --> 00:15:18,365 holy terror I've ever known. 349 00:15:18,390 --> 00:15:20,655 At first I was like, are you crazy? 350 00:15:20,691 --> 00:15:22,553 You want to have a baby right now? 351 00:15:22,578 --> 00:15:24,709 - How's Sade? - She's good, Mom. 352 00:15:24,734 --> 00:15:26,920 But then I started thinking. 353 00:15:27,637 --> 00:15:31,110 What if this quarantine lasts for a whole year? 354 00:15:31,135 --> 00:15:33,545 - Oh God. - I mean, I could 355 00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:35,781 get pregnant, then have the baby. 356 00:15:35,806 --> 00:15:36,991 Do the whole postpartum thing, 357 00:15:37,015 --> 00:15:38,717 and then get my body back in time 358 00:15:38,742 --> 00:15:40,762 for when everything starts back up again. 359 00:15:40,787 --> 00:15:44,613 You know, now that you're not off producing movies, 360 00:15:44,648 --> 00:15:48,271 might be a good time to think about having another baby. 361 00:15:48,296 --> 00:15:51,397 No, this is Sade's year to focus on her career. 362 00:15:51,914 --> 00:15:54,065 - Time's not right. - Is James onboard? 363 00:15:54,090 --> 00:15:55,701 - It was his idea. - Yeah, I don't know 364 00:15:55,725 --> 00:15:59,036 if we even have the mental head space to have another baby. 365 00:15:59,061 --> 00:16:01,828 What are we doing with this time on our hands, anyway? 366 00:16:01,863 --> 00:16:03,936 It just... 367 00:16:03,961 --> 00:16:05,459 feels like it's wasted. 368 00:16:05,484 --> 00:16:07,326 Yeah, see, I'm all for this. 369 00:16:07,351 --> 00:16:10,814 Okay, look, no one wants to be sitting at home doing nothing, 370 00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:13,482 especially during this government-mandated 371 00:16:13,507 --> 00:16:15,139 celibacy for us single folks. 372 00:16:15,164 --> 00:16:18,350 - Which is why I moved in with Niles. - What? 373 00:16:19,514 --> 00:16:22,201 You better not have mumbled what I think you just did. 374 00:16:22,887 --> 00:16:24,920 What about Dedrick? Have you heard from him? 375 00:16:24,945 --> 00:16:26,678 Not since before the quarantine. 376 00:16:26,703 --> 00:16:29,021 - How 'bout you? - No, but you know, 377 00:16:29,046 --> 00:16:32,561 he was socially distancing from this family for a while now. 378 00:16:32,586 --> 00:16:35,238 Just promise me you'll let me know if you hear from him. 379 00:16:35,263 --> 00:16:37,229 I don't want him taking advantage 380 00:16:37,265 --> 00:16:38,664 of you and Daddy at this time. 381 00:16:38,689 --> 00:16:41,239 I moved in with Niles, okay. Don't blame me. 382 00:16:41,274 --> 00:16:42,778 Blame my libido. 383 00:16:42,803 --> 00:16:46,582 Which, I mean, is thanking me because the sex is amazing! 384 00:16:46,607 --> 00:16:48,274 Ooh, say less. 385 00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:51,233 Girl, I'm about to be saying very few words, 386 00:16:51,258 --> 00:16:53,057 because it's sex o'clock, 387 00:16:53,082 --> 00:16:55,317 so I need to go get another round in. 388 00:16:55,342 --> 00:16:56,879 - Okay. - I'll see you later. 389 00:16:56,904 --> 00:16:58,684 Have fun. 390 00:16:58,709 --> 00:17:00,442 - Bye, girl. - Bye. 391 00:17:00,467 --> 00:17:01,797 And also promise me 392 00:17:01,822 --> 00:17:03,897 you're gonna take this really seriously 393 00:17:03,922 --> 00:17:06,268 - and stay in the house... - Don't worry. 394 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:09,360 Thanks for calling. I love you! 395 00:17:10,336 --> 00:17:12,006 I love you too. 396 00:17:25,415 --> 00:17:26,821 Okay... 397 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:29,115 - let's do this! - Let's do what? 398 00:17:29,852 --> 00:17:31,467 Let's make a baby. 399 00:17:32,362 --> 00:17:34,490 - Hey, I thought you said... - Hmm? 400 00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:37,667 When did you change your mind? Mmm. 401 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,568 - Where's Charli? - She's napping. 402 00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:41,765 - Just take a shower real quick... - No, no, 403 00:17:41,789 --> 00:17:43,514 she's gonna be up in 20 minutes. 404 00:17:43,539 --> 00:17:45,787 - Twenty minutes, huh? - Mm-hmm. 405 00:17:45,989 --> 00:17:47,489 We can do it twice in 20 minutes. 406 00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,943 I don't know, my, my early 20s 407 00:17:55,968 --> 00:17:58,964 I feel like were probably when I was just... I was exploring. 408 00:17:58,989 --> 00:18:01,089 I was definitely exploring. Um... 409 00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:04,335 I used to be into the whole random hook-up thing. 410 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,572 When you were in New York, did you ever go to those parties 411 00:18:06,596 --> 00:18:08,840 in that big loft on 13th Street? 412 00:18:08,876 --> 00:18:10,408 You know the one. It was like... 413 00:18:10,717 --> 00:18:14,102 Well, they didn't call it the meat-packing district for nothin'. 414 00:18:15,805 --> 00:18:18,239 So Batman is totally kicking Supe's ass. 415 00:18:18,274 --> 00:18:21,590 But then Clark says his adopted mom's name, which is Martha. 416 00:18:21,615 --> 00:18:24,388 But that's Bruce's mom's name too! Phoo! 417 00:18:24,413 --> 00:18:27,240 It's insane. Okay, so Bruce stops... 418 00:18:28,657 --> 00:18:30,006 Hello. 419 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,748 Are you still there? I think you're frozen. 420 00:18:33,436 --> 00:18:34,865 Elle? 421 00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:36,771 Hello? Elle? 422 00:18:38,661 --> 00:18:39,926 You just blinked! 423 00:18:39,962 --> 00:18:42,163 Wait, are you pretending to freeze right now? 424 00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:45,829 Oh, what? No! 425 00:18:45,854 --> 00:18:47,446 Oh my God! 426 00:18:47,471 --> 00:18:49,638 - Okay. - Well, I don't think it would work. 427 00:18:49,663 --> 00:18:51,281 - So... - Uh, 428 00:18:51,306 --> 00:18:53,006 so, do you want to take a quiz and find out 429 00:18:53,042 --> 00:18:57,721 - which superhero you are? - Oh, actually, I, I probably should go. 430 00:18:57,746 --> 00:18:59,089 Okay. 431 00:18:59,114 --> 00:19:01,410 Well, can I at least see your boobs first? 432 00:19:01,784 --> 00:19:03,534 What? 433 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:06,817 No. Ew. Oh my God! 434 00:19:06,842 --> 00:19:08,207 What? 435 00:19:08,790 --> 00:19:12,558 Are you seriously talking about all your random hook-ups 436 00:19:12,593 --> 00:19:14,190 20 minutes into our first date? 437 00:19:14,215 --> 00:19:15,561 Well, they weren't random? 438 00:19:15,596 --> 00:19:17,163 They were very intentional. 439 00:19:17,195 --> 00:19:18,812 Oh. 440 00:19:19,356 --> 00:19:21,879 _ 441 00:19:22,467 --> 00:19:24,106 Oh no, it was a... 442 00:19:25,006 --> 00:19:27,229 I'm sorry, are you texting your friend about 443 00:19:27,254 --> 00:19:28,974 what a massive loser you think I am? 444 00:19:28,999 --> 00:19:30,371 No. 445 00:19:30,396 --> 00:19:31,871 _ 446 00:19:33,513 --> 00:19:35,158 Okay, maybe. 447 00:19:35,183 --> 00:19:36,849 Okay, well, just be sure to tell her 448 00:19:36,874 --> 00:19:38,551 that you're slut-shaming me. 449 00:19:40,003 --> 00:19:45,901 _ 450 00:19:56,502 --> 00:19:58,856 Yeah, right. 451 00:19:59,014 --> 00:20:01,301 Yeah. 452 00:20:06,913 --> 00:20:08,613 Hi, Nanda. 453 00:20:08,648 --> 00:20:11,015 Hi. Maggie, how are you? 454 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,300 We're good. 455 00:20:12,325 --> 00:20:13,651 Let me get him set up. 456 00:20:13,686 --> 00:20:15,206 Thank you. 457 00:20:15,231 --> 00:20:17,988 Oh, there's my handsome man. 458 00:20:18,023 --> 00:20:19,567 Oh, look at you. 459 00:20:19,592 --> 00:20:24,081 You better tell those nurses you are a happily married man. 460 00:20:24,106 --> 00:20:27,357 Well, I do, but they keep throwing themselves at me. 461 00:20:29,535 --> 00:20:31,068 Uh, so, uh... 462 00:20:31,871 --> 00:20:33,738 what's for dinner tonight, huh? 463 00:20:33,773 --> 00:20:37,843 Lasagna with spinach and sausage. 464 00:20:37,868 --> 00:20:41,289 - The one you like. - Oh, that sounds so good. 465 00:20:41,314 --> 00:20:43,080 - Mm, mm. - What are you having? 466 00:20:43,115 --> 00:20:45,549 Uh, the... the what? 467 00:20:45,585 --> 00:20:47,084 W-what is this? 468 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:49,218 Turkey meatloaf. 469 00:20:50,276 --> 00:20:53,833 - Mystery meatloaf. - Oh, stop it. 470 00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:55,892 You said you like the food there. 471 00:20:55,927 --> 00:20:58,495 Oh, not as much as yours. Mmm. 472 00:20:58,530 --> 00:21:00,062 Good answer. 473 00:21:00,648 --> 00:21:03,910 You know, I, I sent out the last of the invites 474 00:21:03,935 --> 00:21:06,002 to our anniversary party today. 475 00:21:06,037 --> 00:21:07,462 Oh, that's good. 476 00:21:07,972 --> 00:21:11,240 So, uh... what about this virus business? 477 00:21:11,265 --> 00:21:12,598 Well, you know, they're saying 478 00:21:12,623 --> 00:21:14,490 we're gonna be out of this quarantine 479 00:21:14,515 --> 00:21:17,583 in time to get you better and home 480 00:21:17,608 --> 00:21:20,193 - before May 10th. - Oh good. 481 00:21:20,218 --> 00:21:23,191 I just wish I could come to visit you in the meantime. 482 00:21:23,216 --> 00:21:24,887 Me too, my love. But... 483 00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:28,169 - Better safe than sorry. - Mm-hmm. 484 00:21:28,770 --> 00:21:32,333 Oh, I talked to James today. He said he left you a message. 485 00:21:32,706 --> 00:21:34,263 Who? 486 00:21:34,288 --> 00:21:36,109 James. 487 00:21:36,134 --> 00:21:37,134 Hmm. 488 00:21:38,002 --> 00:21:39,356 Our son. 489 00:21:41,739 --> 00:21:45,944 Oh. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Uh, James, yeah. 490 00:21:50,648 --> 00:21:52,272 Um... 491 00:21:53,657 --> 00:21:58,283 I've got a lot of work to do in the yard before the party. 492 00:21:58,308 --> 00:21:59,464 Oh. 493 00:21:59,489 --> 00:22:02,342 You got the invitations out yet? 494 00:22:05,377 --> 00:22:06,780 Yeah. 495 00:22:07,764 --> 00:22:09,444 That's good. 496 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,632 I wish I was there to help. 497 00:22:11,657 --> 00:22:14,124 Well, your only job... 498 00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:17,538 is to get better. 499 00:22:17,686 --> 00:22:18,756 Well... 500 00:22:20,891 --> 00:22:22,423 I'm doing my best. 501 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,913 I know you are. 502 00:22:29,486 --> 00:22:31,919 - Cheers. - That's the way to do it. 503 00:22:31,954 --> 00:22:33,952 I've got my water. 504 00:22:34,357 --> 00:22:37,085 Oh, cheers to you, my dear. 505 00:22:50,491 --> 00:22:52,285 - Hey. - Hey. 506 00:22:52,309 --> 00:22:53,886 You think Sophie's okay? 507 00:22:53,911 --> 00:22:56,377 She spent most of the day in her room again today. 508 00:22:56,413 --> 00:22:57,712 Yeah. 509 00:22:57,747 --> 00:23:00,115 She'll be okay. She's just brokenhearted. 510 00:23:00,150 --> 00:23:02,450 I could kill that asshole for hurting her. 511 00:23:02,486 --> 00:23:04,606 Though I got to say, not unhappy 512 00:23:04,631 --> 00:23:06,340 he's not quarantining with us. 513 00:23:06,365 --> 00:23:07,739 Me neither. 514 00:23:08,275 --> 00:23:10,610 You think she's gonna find out I'm sleeping in the guest room? 515 00:23:10,634 --> 00:23:11,634 No. 516 00:23:12,081 --> 00:23:14,535 No, we're always up way before she is. 517 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,808 How do you feel about telling her? 518 00:23:16,957 --> 00:23:20,278 Oh! I don't know. I think that... 519 00:23:21,369 --> 00:23:23,381 she's devastated with her own break-up now, 520 00:23:23,406 --> 00:23:25,315 I don't know that she can cope with ours. 521 00:23:25,340 --> 00:23:26,340 Yeah. 522 00:23:26,365 --> 00:23:28,510 And I'm not sure that I can cope with the drama. 523 00:23:28,535 --> 00:23:29,667 Agreed. 524 00:23:31,459 --> 00:23:33,224 Okay. Goodnight. 525 00:23:33,249 --> 00:23:34,348 Goodnight. 526 00:23:36,431 --> 00:23:39,627 I don't wanna sleep alone. Can I sleep with you guys? 527 00:23:45,537 --> 00:23:47,110 Yeah, of course. 528 00:23:52,952 --> 00:23:54,311 Scoot over. 529 00:23:54,336 --> 00:23:55,769 No, no, scoot over. 530 00:23:55,804 --> 00:23:57,638 I'm not gonna sleep between you guys. 531 00:23:57,756 --> 00:23:59,088 Scoot. 532 00:24:37,504 --> 00:24:39,680 - Hello! - Hey, Mama. 533 00:24:39,705 --> 00:24:40,938 It's Dedrick. 534 00:24:40,963 --> 00:24:43,446 - Dedrick! - How are you? 535 00:24:43,471 --> 00:24:46,047 Uh, uh, I'm fine, baby. 536 00:24:46,072 --> 00:24:47,963 Uh, how, how are you? 537 00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:49,319 I'm okay. 538 00:24:49,344 --> 00:24:52,024 Well, uh... sorta. 539 00:24:52,059 --> 00:24:54,672 I got laid off 'cause of the shutdown. 540 00:24:54,697 --> 00:24:58,274 And, uh... I don't have my rent. 541 00:24:58,621 --> 00:24:59,986 And I was wondering 542 00:25:00,011 --> 00:25:02,111 if I could stay in the back guest house 543 00:25:02,136 --> 00:25:05,748 until I can figure out work and get back on my feet again? 544 00:25:05,773 --> 00:25:08,321 I promise I will keep my distance. 545 00:25:08,346 --> 00:25:10,321 I don't want to risk getting you sick. 546 00:25:11,746 --> 00:25:15,248 Oh. Of-of course you can stay 547 00:25:15,283 --> 00:25:16,882 as long as you need to. 548 00:25:16,917 --> 00:25:18,584 Don't even worry about it. 549 00:25:18,620 --> 00:25:20,204 Thanks, Mama. I love you. 550 00:25:20,437 --> 00:25:22,290 I love you too. 551 00:25:32,969 --> 00:25:35,821 ♪ That might feel ♪ 552 00:25:37,558 --> 00:25:41,226 ♪ Ooh ♪ 553 00:25:41,251 --> 00:25:44,987 ♪ What are you waiting for? ♪ 554 00:25:45,526 --> 00:25:49,461 ♪ Ooh ♪ 555 00:25:49,486 --> 00:25:53,211 ♪ What are you waiting for? ♪ 556 00:26:13,853 --> 00:26:15,758 I, I love you. 557 00:26:16,749 --> 00:26:18,633 I love you too. 558 00:26:21,490 --> 00:26:24,399 Oh! Sean is amazing! 559 00:26:28,654 --> 00:26:31,555 I... thought it wasn't going that great. 560 00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:32,989 Well, it started out great, 561 00:26:33,025 --> 00:26:35,136 and then things got weird 'cause he started telling me 562 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,093 about all these guys he used to hook up with. 563 00:26:37,129 --> 00:26:39,496 But then he called me out for slut-shaming him, 564 00:26:39,521 --> 00:26:41,360 and things took a turn. 565 00:26:41,385 --> 00:26:44,977 And he's just... he's so funny and honest. 566 00:26:45,715 --> 00:26:48,946 He has a pet cat named Whiskers! 567 00:26:49,519 --> 00:26:51,391 He, he sounds amazing. 568 00:26:51,416 --> 00:26:53,297 And you found him for me! 569 00:26:55,358 --> 00:26:58,665 Thank you. Thank you, thank you. 570 00:26:59,424 --> 00:27:02,118 Hey, do you, um, do you want some popcorn? 571 00:27:03,955 --> 00:27:05,555 Uh... 572 00:27:06,782 --> 00:27:08,493 Sure, yeah. 573 00:27:14,784 --> 00:27:17,784 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie 40883

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