Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:51,217
One, two, three...
2
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,470
...three, three.
3
00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:54,888
Yo, what comes after three?
4
00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:57,390
Four. Four comes after three.
5
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,559
-I don't hear you counting.
-Four.
6
00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:02,645
Four.
7
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:05,315
-Five.
-Five.
8
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,984
-Six.
-Six. Faster.
9
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,904
-Seven, eight.
-Sims. Sims!
10
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,489
You're going home.
11
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:22,832
I'll see you around, sweet mouth.
12
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:25,835
Inmate on deck.
13
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,713
-He'll be back.
-What's up, baby?
14
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,423
See you around, big man.
15
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:33,343
Gate open.
16
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,159
Where the hell is this guy?
17
00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,380
Cal. Cal.
18
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:17,720
-What an idiot.
-Let me pop this door for my man.
19
00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:19,889
My main man,
just getting home from prison.
20
00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:26,229
-Percy.
-I'm sorry, Cal.
21
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,064
You stupid?
22
00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:32,652
All right, wait. Hold up.
So they want us to steal a diamond?
23
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:36,823
-How much your man Walken paying?
-Dig this. A hundred G's.
24
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,950
A hundred G's?
25
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,411
-That's good loot.
-Enough to get my label started.
26
00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:44,789
Let me give you a taste
of my first single.
27
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,002
-It's fire.
-Yeah.
28
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,963
Never been shot before...
29
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:55,592
...but I've been beat about the skull
and the neck area with a crowbar.
30
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,510
Check the lyrics, check the lyrics.
31
00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,721
I'II take you to the butcher shop
32
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,432
Let you Iick a big pork chop
33
00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:04,767
GirI, I know you Iike ham hocks
34
00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:08,229
If you're Jewish, I even got Iox
Hey! Hey!
35
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,440
Yo, camel-mouth.
36
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:14,235
-That's 50 Cent.
-Cal, that's not 50 Cent.
37
00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:15,695
He talk about candy.
38
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:18,281
I'm talking about meat.
39
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:21,117
That's a whole other level. P-Unit.
40
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:23,453
You better off stuffing your money
in a mattress.
41
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:26,414
Yeah. I bet you gonna
mess your money up...
42
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,041
...on booze and cheap hookers.
43
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,459
-So?
-What you need to do...
44
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,086
...is just find you a nice girl
and settle down, Cal.
45
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:34,088
Come on, P,
you know that ain't happening.
46
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:36,633
I mean, you being all short and all.
47
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,302
Let me tell you something
about love.
48
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:43,056
I never had it. I don't want it.
I don't need it. All right?
49
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,726
You ain't gotta keep hitting me, Calvin.
I'm not your child.
50
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:50,813
How am I gonna be a hard-core rapper
if you keep putting your hands on me?
51
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:56,069
Don't push me
Because I'm cIose to the edge
52
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:59,113
Check this out. You hang in the back
until Vanessa gets here.
53
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,865
When I give a signal, you come out.
54
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,116
That's cool. I got you.
55
00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:04,953
Hey, Jimmy, please, man.
This is the biggest day of my life.
56
00:04:05,119 --> 00:04:08,414
-It's gotta go off right, okay?
-Baby, what'd I tell you? I got you.
57
00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,083
And can I say something?
58
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,002
-Congratulations, man.
-Thank you.
59
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:16,005
You done stepped up to the plate.
Give me a hug, homeboy.
60
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:19,342
Oh, man, you done did it,
you know.
61
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:24,305
Hey, man, you ain't had to do this.
62
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:26,849
You know, the valet tripping.
63
00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,519
-Made me park around the corner.
-Jimmy, get-- Beat it.
64
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,312
-Thank you. Thank you.
-Get on it.
65
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:38,695
-Hi.
-Hey, beautiful.
66
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:42,824
So I'm so glad
that you got out of work to be here.
67
00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:47,912
You think I wouldn't take off work?
And miss this? Are you crazy?
68
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,831
Look at you, beautiful.
69
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,875
-You are glowing. My God.
-Thank you.
70
00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:56,045
It feels like it was just yesterday...
71
00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:59,549
...sitting in this same restaurant,
when I asked you to marry me.
72
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:03,219
I'm still working on that diamond.
I didn't forget the diamond.
73
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:07,056
I know, baby. You are the sweetest,
most supportive man on the planet.
74
00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:09,809
Can I talk now?
75
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,936
-I'm sorry. Go ahead.
-Okay.
76
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,856
So you know what I've been waiting
all week to find out.
77
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:16,733
Yes. Yep.
78
00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:19,068
-Well, I got the news...
-Yeah.
79
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:22,739
-...and I'm--
-Pregnant. Yes! Yes!
80
00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:25,825
-Having my baby
-Oh, no.
81
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,827
-Is so important to me
-No. No, no.
82
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,912
-Darryl. Darryl.
-Baby.
83
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:33,249
-There's nothing more speciaI
-Darryl-- No, honey, I'm not pregnant.
84
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:35,251
-I'm not pregnant.
-Than to raise a famiIy
85
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,879
-Excuse me, sir. Sir. Sir.
-I thought that you--
86
00:05:38,046 --> 00:05:39,172
-Hey.
-And--
87
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,798
-Sir.
-Jimmy.
88
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,343
-And--
-Sir!
89
00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:46,012
No. Stop. No.
90
00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:48,348
I'm not pregnant.
91
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:51,434
-No?
-No.
92
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:57,732
You're not pregnant?
93
00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,777
Baby, but you was nauseous
and throwing up all over the place.
94
00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:02,278
Well, I was very nervous.
95
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,697
Baby, what are we doing here?
96
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,033
Darryl...
97
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,993
...I got the promotion.
98
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:12,622
And we're movin' on up
To the east side
99
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,040
Jimmy.
100
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,667
They'II be movin' on up
To that apartment in the sky
101
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:20,755
-I'm gonna hurt him.
-Hey. Hey, Jimmy. Jimmy, stop.
102
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:23,132
-Man-- Man, you ain't got to do this.
-Hey....
103
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,635
-Okay, then. All right.
-Beat it.
104
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:30,306
Congratulations.
I'm really proud of you.
105
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,310
But?
106
00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,313
But I thought we was gonna
start a family.
107
00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:40,608
We will, baby.
108
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:44,320
You know, with this promotion,
everything's on track now.
109
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:48,491
In a couple of years I'll be senior V.P.,
and I can take time off to have a child.
110
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:50,660
A couple of years?
I don't wanna wait years.
111
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:53,162
Darryl, you know,
having a baby changes everything.
112
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,373
Hey, I'm willing to do
whatever it takes.
113
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,667
So no more late-night poker
with the guys.
114
00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,419
Cool.
115
00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,337
No more...
116
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:03,256
...afternoon quickies.
117
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,925
Stop right there.
We haven't had a afternoon quickie...
118
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,427
...since your father moved in.
119
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:11,180
That is not fair. My dad is getting old.
Sometimes he forgets things.
120
00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:13,683
I don't feel comfortable
with him living by himself.
121
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,101
What about Whispering Glen?
122
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,854
That place looked like a country club
inside the brochure.
123
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,939
They got Viagra vending machines.
124
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,107
You listen to me.
125
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:24,861
Until he is a danger to himself
or others, he is staying with us.
126
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:27,864
Now...
127
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,699
...can we celebrate?
128
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:34,871
Celebration, come on
We gonna ceIebrate tonight
129
00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:38,291
Come on, come on, let's celebrate
Let's not have a fight
130
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,626
And I'm not taIking tonight
131
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,712
Remix!
Now just you Iadies
132
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:47,884
Celebrate, celebrate
Celebrate, celebrate
133
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:02,899
Hey, oblivious.
What are you doing?
134
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:05,193
Getting ready to rob a jewelry store,
Calvin.
135
00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:06,861
I'm going straight Jesse James.
136
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:10,239
Percy, put the gun away. Guns
is how you wind up back in prison.
137
00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:14,076
I'm telling you, I ain't going back
to jail. You understand?
138
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:15,912
Now put the gun away.
139
00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:17,914
Why you gotta keep hitting me, Cal?
140
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,750
Sometimes I gotta slap
some sense into you, Percy.
141
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,001
Come on. Give me a hand.
142
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,673
Now, would you trust the big man?
143
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:30,593
I got a plan, yo.
144
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:36,432
Now, this stone is a 3-karat,
G-color diamond.
145
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:40,394
-VVS2, nearly flawless.
-It's been a pleasure, sir.
146
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,355
Just be cool, Cal. I'm telling you.
147
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,815
Oh, there she go. There's--
148
00:08:44,982 --> 00:08:46,442
Go ahead. Do your thing, Cal.
149
00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:59,622
Pardon me for just a moment.
150
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,043
-Do your thing.
-Yes? May I help you?
151
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:09,423
Percy. CEO and A&R
of P-Unit Records.
152
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:11,592
Here to pick up jewelry
for one of my artists.
153
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,095
Well, holler at your girl.
154
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:16,806
Step this way, Percy P.
155
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,975
I like the way you said
my name just now.
156
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:20,726
Can I sit down? She's sitting down.
157
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,229
Of course you may.
Would you like some gin and juice?
158
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,166
Well, I'm gonna show you
some shiznit right about now.
159
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:51,090
Yes. Come to daddy.
160
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,313
Now that's what
I'm talking about, baby.
161
00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,607
So, what can I get for you
today, Percy P.?
162
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:11,485
All of the above.
163
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:17,783
I'll send one of my assistants
from P-Unit Records...
164
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,201
...to pick everything up.
165
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:23,372
Just tell him to pull up to my bumper,
and I'll throw that junk in his trunk.
166
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,207
Word?
167
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:28,419
Let me get up out of here.
I gotta bounce.
168
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:31,047
I got some people meeting me
down there, and I gotta....
169
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,466
So I'm gonna leave, you know?
170
00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:37,136
-Okay? See you later, all right? Peace.
-Peace.
171
00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:40,473
Be cool. What's going on in there?
172
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,308
Has anyone seen my dog?
173
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:44,977
Hi, puppy.
174
00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:51,901
He stole my dog.
175
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,321
Holy crap.
176
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:58,074
The Queen's diamond. It's gone.
177
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,035
Relax. We almost there, man.
We about to be paid, man.
178
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,996
I need the police.
Yes, there's been a robbery.
179
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:09,418
We did it. Modern-day
Butch Cassidy and Sundance.
180
00:11:09,585 --> 00:11:11,754
Come back here with my dog.
181
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,924
-Get out of here, mutt.
-You just tossed a Chihuahua.
182
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,927
-Come on, let's get out of here.
-Gotcha that. We are gone.
183
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,428
Come on, Percy.
184
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:24,725
-Oh, man.
-This ain't time to be doing doughnuts.
185
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,397
I can't believe this, man.
186
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:31,273
Damn it, Percy.
187
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,360
You got a boot on the car,
and you about to get one in your butt.
188
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,445
-She finally got me.
-Who?
189
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:39,532
Nettie, down at Motor Vehicles.
Said I got her pregnant.
190
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,118
I went to family court.
I had all my receipts.
191
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,245
I'm out.
192
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,957
-Hey, yo, Percy. You forgot something.
-What?
193
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,959
Me!
194
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,879
-Come on!
-Sorry, Cal.
195
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:03,848
-They went that way.
-What'd he look like?
196
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:05,599
-Black.
-I got him.
197
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,893
-Dark or light?
-Medium.
198
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,563
Suspect is escaping on foot.
African-American male.
199
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,566
About 5'1 0", not real dark,
more of a mocha-caramel color.
200
00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:25,161
What? You shot?
201
00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:28,289
Sweet bejesus.
My muscle, I think I pulled it.
202
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,249
Quick. In here.
203
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,129
Yo, quick, put me down.
We gotta split up.
204
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,839
Okay.
205
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:48,434
It's late because of the stress,
not because I'm pregnant.
206
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:52,104
Please, don't even say words like
"stress." It's not good for the baby.
207
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,815
Darryl, there is no baby.
208
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:57,109
-Aisle two.
-Well, why didn't you just say that?
209
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:12,082
-Okay, let's go.
-Okay, fine. Just humor me, okay?
210
00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:13,959
-Okay, let's go.
-Okay.
211
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,842
-Enough.
-Okay, okay.
212
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,809
I got one!
213
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:38,234
-Come on, man.
-Do not resist. Do not resist.
214
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,319
-I'm not resisting.
-Wilson. Wilson. Wilson.
215
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,904
Come on. It's not our guy.
216
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,323
What? You said African-American.
217
00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:46,909
Yeah, but I said
a mocha-caramel color.
218
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,745
He's like a Starbucks black decaf,
maybe a little cream.
219
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,498
-It's not our guy. Sorry about that.
-Come on, man.
220
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,334
-You sure?
-Yeah. He's okay.
221
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,381
-Wilson!
-Well, he looked mocha to me.
222
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:05,511
-Thank you.
-What?
223
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,933
He looked real shady. He gonna
do something else, and I'll be waiting.
224
00:14:12,726 --> 00:14:14,270
-You still got the diamond?
-No.
225
00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:16,272
-I had to ditch it.
-Where?
226
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:19,358
In her bag.
227
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:20,943
Calvin, now what?
228
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,194
We go get it.
229
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,949
Let's go. Come on.
230
00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,375
Follow that car.
231
00:14:58,397 --> 00:14:59,607
Yo, there they are.
232
00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:00,983
-There is no baby.
-There is.
233
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,652
-Honey, there is no baby.
-Well, there will be.
234
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:06,155
Let's go.
235
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:12,828
Daddy, we're home.
236
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:16,749
-There's my baby girl.
-Hi, Daddy.
237
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,753
Who's the best daddy
in the whole, wide world?
238
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,297
-I am.
-I know you can do better than that.
239
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,674
Who's the best daddy
in the whole, wide world?
240
00:15:25,841 --> 00:15:28,636
-I am.
-I can't hear you.
241
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,971
I'm the best daddy
in the whole, wide world!
242
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,444
So, what's the good news?
243
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:47,029
Dad...
244
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:48,656
...I got the promotion.
245
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:53,327
Congratulations. Soon you'll make
enough money to leave that bum.
246
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,204
Oh, Dad, he's not a bum.
247
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:58,040
No? What kind of man
gives the woman he loves...
248
00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,833
...a wedding ring with no diamond?
249
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,170
Hey, as soon as I make enough
money, I'm gonna buy her a diamond.
250
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,714
And I'm going to do the nasty
with Jennifer Lopez...
251
00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:08,801
...while Halle Berry tickle my butt.
252
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,554
You know, for a moment
I thought you were gonna tell me...
253
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:14,807
...you were gonna let this one
impregnate you.
254
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,726
But I see now, this man
ain't got no bullets in the chamber.
255
00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:19,353
What's that supposed to mean?
256
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,480
You heard me.
You're shooting blanks.
257
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,316
-Cooking with a wet noodle.
-What?
258
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:26,318
Can't hoist the mainsaiI
259
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:29,905
My sperm have fallen
and it can't get up.
260
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:32,074
I'll have you know,
I hit that every night.
261
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,076
Hey, that's my daughter
you talking about.
262
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,996
-Back up, old man.
-Okay, okay. Stop. Stop. Please.
263
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,205
Gentlemen.
264
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:43,293
Dad, we are going to have a baby
when the time is right.
265
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,296
Play nice.
266
00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:54,847
It's still in the bag.
267
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:58,809
Still in the bag.
Let's go get the rock.
268
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:02,563
Yo, Percy, how many times
I gotta tell you? No guns.
269
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:03,731
What we gonna do?
270
00:17:03,897 --> 00:17:06,859
Walken is gonna kill us
if we don't give him the diamond.
271
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,069
Then I guess we gotta find
a way to sneak in.
272
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:16,035
Well, they did say
they wanted a baby.
273
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:19,329
No. No.
274
00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:22,249
No. I ain't dressing up like no baby.
275
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:26,128
Keep still, Cal. You heavy.
You gonna make me drop you.
276
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,797
You drop me
and I'm gonna drop you.
277
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,632
Now, look, you stay close.
278
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,427
I'm gonna go in, I'm gonna
get the diamond, and I'm out.
279
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:37,890
If you don't mind me saying, Cal,
you make a cute little baby.
280
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,141
I'm out.
281
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,560
You couldn't find
nothing better than a dog basket?
282
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:45,147
You just be cool. I told you,
this gonna be great, Cal.
283
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,986
Just hold tight.
Everything gonna be fine.
284
00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:53,322
I'm gonna be over here
in the bushes.
285
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,499
Move, dog.
286
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,667
Get out of here.
I'll make a coat out of you.
287
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,170
Get out of here
before I feed you some chocolate.
288
00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:11,340
Get out of here, you fleabag.
289
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:13,175
-Go.
-Get out of here.
290
00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,344
Wait, hold--
Wait. Muttley, wait. No, no.
291
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:32,611
Honey.
292
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,530
-Yeah?
-Come here.
293
00:18:34,863 --> 00:18:36,698
-What is it, Darryl?
-Look.
294
00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:41,370
Oh, my God.
295
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,038
It's a baby.
296
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:47,042
I know. And here's a note too.
297
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,545
"Plez luk tafter Kalvin.
298
00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:53,215
We wuzn't abele to keap em."
299
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,342
Poor guy.
His parents must've been retarded.
300
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,803
Well, let's get him inside.
301
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,347
-It's cold out here.
-Okay, okay. All right.
302
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:01,723
Come on, little guy.
303
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:03,725
-Yes.
-I got you.
304
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:08,147
Oh, damn.
305
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:10,816
-What in the hell is that?
-I don't know.
306
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,652
Man.
307
00:19:14,069 --> 00:19:16,321
Dad, we found a baby
on the doorstep.
308
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:19,199
-What? What is it? A boy or girl?
-Dada.
309
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:20,826
I think it's a boy.
310
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,162
Well, whatever it is,
it smell like piss.
311
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,999
Yeah. I think Janet may have left
diapers here. Let's look.
312
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,251
Doesn't your dad have some
diapers upstairs?
313
00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:32,004
I heard that. I don't wear diapers.
Who you talking about?
314
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,089
Haven't worn a diaper in years.
315
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,258
I think she put them in here.
316
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,225
What is it?
317
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,271
That ain't no baby.
That's a porn star.
318
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:53,025
What on girth is that?
319
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:56,236
I'm gonna call Child Services.
320
00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:57,446
-Yeah.
-Yeah. Do that.
321
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:04,953
Directory assistance.
322
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,956
Yes, can I have the number
for Child Services, please?
323
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:09,791
Connecting you.
324
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:13,295
ChiId Services is now cIosed
for the weekend.
325
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:17,007
We wiII re-open at 9 a.m.
Monday morning.
326
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:22,554
They're closed for the weekend.
327
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,474
The office doesn't open
until 9:00 on Monday morning.
328
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,434
So, what do we do now?
329
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:31,230
I say, toss this creature back in
the Black Lagoon where it came from.
330
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:32,564
Daddy, stop it.
331
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,484
Maybe we should call the police.
332
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:50,332
-That doesn't sound good.
-No, we should take him to the doctor.
333
00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:53,335
Get him checked out.
Who knows what he's been through?
334
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:54,962
-Okay?
-I'll go get the car keys.
335
00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:56,129
-All right.
-Okay.
336
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:59,841
Now, when you get to the hospital,
don't stop. Don't stop.
337
00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:02,469
Toss that monster out the window
and keep moving.
338
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:05,681
Hit the accelerator. I don't wanna
see that little ugly thing again.
339
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:09,184
Stinky little thing.
340
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,353
Was it a little cough?
341
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,521
-No.
-No.
342
00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:16,149
No, this was like a grown-man,
smoker's cough.
343
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:19,319
Well, it's probably nothing.
344
00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:21,989
Come on, let's get his shirt off.
345
00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:27,494
He's a strong little fella.
346
00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:34,167
Oh, my God. What is that scar?
347
00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:36,295
From the look of it, I'd say...
348
00:21:36,461 --> 00:21:38,880
...this little guy has had
his appendix removed.
349
00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:40,882
Or he was
in one hell of a knife fight.
350
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:45,929
What kind of person
tattoos a child?
351
00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:47,597
Oh, you'd be amazed. Come on.
352
00:21:48,598 --> 00:21:50,726
Open up. Open up and say:
353
00:21:50,892 --> 00:21:52,728
Come on. Come on. Come on.
354
00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:59,735
-Wha--? What is it?
-I've never seen a...
355
00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:01,153
...baby with bridgework.
356
00:22:02,237 --> 00:22:05,407
This child has the mouth
of a 40-year-old man.
357
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:10,287
I can't tell whether these teeth
are coming in or falling out.
358
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:12,080
Well, he's gonna be okay?
359
00:22:12,539 --> 00:22:13,832
He's fine.
360
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:18,295
His tonsils are a little swollen
and he might have a bit of a cold.
361
00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:19,463
As a precaution...
362
00:22:19,629 --> 00:22:22,424
...you should take his temperature
before you put him to bed.
363
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:24,551
-All right. Thank you, Dr. Murphy.
-Okay.
364
00:22:24,718 --> 00:22:27,262
-Thank you very much.
-Bye.
365
00:22:28,096 --> 00:22:30,599
This is just-- It's horrible.
Look at this child.
366
00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:32,642
Let's turn him over
to the authorities.
367
00:22:32,809 --> 00:22:34,936
They can find his parents
and prosecute them.
368
00:22:35,103 --> 00:22:36,605
Are you crazy? We can't do that.
369
00:22:36,772 --> 00:22:38,523
This kid's been through the wringer.
370
00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:41,026
Besides, his birth parents
are probably crackheads.
371
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,111
They're just gonna
put them in rehab.
372
00:22:43,278 --> 00:22:46,281
Then they'll be back on the street,
selling him for a bag of rocks.
373
00:22:46,948 --> 00:22:49,159
What are you saying?
374
00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:51,578
I'm saying,
why don't we just keep him?
375
00:22:51,953 --> 00:22:53,705
-Just until Monday.
-No. No, Darryl.
376
00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:55,082
-Just until--
-He's a child.
377
00:22:55,248 --> 00:22:57,793
-I don't know what to do with a child.
-Just until Monday.
378
00:22:57,959 --> 00:22:59,836
And then we'll take him
to Child Services.
379
00:23:00,003 --> 00:23:02,172
They'll find a home for him.
380
00:23:02,339 --> 00:23:05,425
Besides, who could take
better care of this child than us?
381
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:11,640
-Where is he?
-Oh, man.
382
00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:19,815
Where do you think you're going?
383
00:23:20,774 --> 00:23:22,025
Well, what do we got here?
384
00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,237
-Is this your baby?
-Yes, thank you.
385
00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:28,657
Well, actually...
386
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:31,493
-...we found him--
-Mama.
387
00:23:36,623 --> 00:23:38,250
He called me Mama.
388
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:40,669
There you go.
389
00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:46,591
Thank you, officer. Thank you.
390
00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:50,679
You know, Percy,
I don't like having to look for people.
391
00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:54,141
Who, me? I wasn't hiding, Mr. W.
392
00:23:54,307 --> 00:23:55,642
Not Percy. Not the Kid.
393
00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:57,769
I was gonna come
soon as I got the diamond.
394
00:23:58,186 --> 00:23:59,688
So you don't have
my diamond, huh?
395
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:01,314
No. I mean, I do.
396
00:24:01,481 --> 00:24:03,358
I don't have it on me now,
but it's safe.
397
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:06,611
We got everything on lockdown.
Believe me. Trust me.
398
00:24:06,778 --> 00:24:09,030
You trying to hustle me, Percy?
399
00:24:09,531 --> 00:24:12,534
Hustle a hustler?
Ain't nothing happening, Mr. W.
400
00:24:12,909 --> 00:24:15,745
It's just that the robbery didn't go
as smooth as we wanted to.
401
00:24:15,912 --> 00:24:19,082
And a situation had popped up,
so we had to split.
402
00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:22,335
-But my partner, he--
-Your partner is not my problem.
403
00:24:22,502 --> 00:24:24,963
My problem is
I don't have my diamond.
404
00:24:25,380 --> 00:24:27,382
Now, I'm gonna give you 24 hours.
405
00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:30,802
After that, my problem becomes
Bruno and Rosco's problem.
406
00:24:32,053 --> 00:24:33,388
And they...
407
00:24:33,555 --> 00:24:35,140
...become your problem.
408
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:36,683
You got a problem with that?
409
00:24:37,058 --> 00:24:39,269
Ain't got no problem with that, Mr. W.
410
00:24:39,436 --> 00:24:41,354
I got it all under control, I swear.
411
00:24:41,521 --> 00:24:43,690
Don't want a smudge on it,
not a speck, nothing.
412
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:45,901
Not a smudge.
413
00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:47,569
Okay, Mr. W.
414
00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:49,988
Get him out of here.
415
00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:52,115
-Get him out of here.
-Come on.
416
00:24:58,246 --> 00:25:00,248
Ain't nothing better
than the evening news...
417
00:25:00,415 --> 00:25:02,959
...and my favorite, milk and cookies.
418
00:25:03,710 --> 00:25:05,879
Damn, I forgot my milk.
419
00:25:06,046 --> 00:25:08,256
Jeez, man,
you can't be popping up like that.
420
00:25:08,757 --> 00:25:10,509
For a moment
I thought you were Chucky.
421
00:25:11,051 --> 00:25:12,719
About to put you in a chokehold.
422
00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:16,306
What are you looking at?
423
00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:21,019
A man who exposed himseIf to
poIice officers in a doughnut shop...
424
00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:23,563
...cIaimed that voices
made him do it.
425
00:25:23,730 --> 00:25:26,608
Oh, honey, look how
comfortable he is with us.
426
00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:28,777
He is so cute.
427
00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:30,529
Oh, no, you don't.
428
00:25:30,695 --> 00:25:33,532
No, you don't. No, no, no.
429
00:25:33,698 --> 00:25:35,575
-Dad.
-Come on, Pop, let him sit there.
430
00:25:35,742 --> 00:25:39,120
-Let him have a cookie.
-This is my throne, my sanctuary.
431
00:25:39,287 --> 00:25:41,289
This is my air, my end zone.
432
00:25:41,456 --> 00:25:44,543
-It's just a cookie.
-Oh, it start with the cookie.
433
00:25:46,962 --> 00:25:50,966
Then they want to come to dinner.
Then they want to move in.
434
00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:55,303
Next thing you know,
they're married to your daughter.
435
00:25:55,887 --> 00:25:59,307
-Why he got to bring it back here--
-Already made that mistake once.
436
00:25:59,474 --> 00:26:00,725
-Come on, now.
-Honey.
437
00:26:00,892 --> 00:26:02,769
No more, my brother.
438
00:26:02,936 --> 00:26:06,147
Nobody makes a fool out of me.
I'm from Detroit.
439
00:26:08,108 --> 00:26:09,651
-Everybody's here.
-I can't wait...
440
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:11,778
...for everybody to meet little Calvin.
441
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:14,155
-I'm so excited.
-Yeah, yeah.
442
00:26:14,322 --> 00:26:17,951
Introduce him to everybody else, and
go over to somebody else's house.
443
00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:23,582
Cookie got a little bite to it.
444
00:26:24,541 --> 00:26:27,002
-Hi. Come in, come in, come in.
-Hello, hello, hello.
445
00:26:27,168 --> 00:26:30,797
-Hello, hello.
-I'm so excited.
446
00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:32,173
-Hey.
-Hello.
447
00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:36,386
-Consuela, welcome. Come in.
-So where is the little one?
448
00:26:37,345 --> 00:26:42,350
-Here's Calvin.
-Here's Calvin.
449
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:47,856
-What a mess.
-Honey, that's not nice.
450
00:26:48,023 --> 00:26:49,983
He's scary.
451
00:26:50,817 --> 00:26:52,861
Yeah, well, I mean....
452
00:26:53,862 --> 00:26:58,783
-I mean, lucky he's not yours, right?
-Yeah.
453
00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:03,622
I just think he is precious.
I think he is a precious gift from God.
454
00:27:04,205 --> 00:27:05,540
You know, God gives gifts.
455
00:27:05,707 --> 00:27:10,128
Sometimes he wraps them in a hurry.
Sometimes. Isn't he a precious gift?
456
00:27:10,712 --> 00:27:13,632
Oh, yeah. He's adorable...
457
00:27:14,215 --> 00:27:17,052
...in a NationaI Geographic
sort of way.
458
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,513
What is he, a pygmy?
459
00:27:24,976 --> 00:27:27,228
Consuela, why don't you take
the kids to go play?
460
00:27:27,395 --> 00:27:28,688
Yes, good idea.
Come on, guys.
461
00:27:28,855 --> 00:27:31,483
Tommy, show Nicholas
that scissor-lock thing...
462
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,151
...we've been working on, huh?
463
00:27:35,278 --> 00:27:38,948
Hey, little man.
No hard feelings, right?
464
00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:43,328
Give me five.
465
00:27:50,001 --> 00:27:52,379
Hey, guess what, Calvin?
We brought you some stuff.
466
00:27:52,545 --> 00:27:55,090
We got you some stuff.
We got a box full of bottles, bibs.
467
00:27:55,256 --> 00:27:58,468
Oh, and all of the Dinosaurus Rex
tapes you could possibly want.
468
00:27:58,635 --> 00:28:00,428
Well, thank you. That's a lot of stuff.
469
00:28:00,595 --> 00:28:04,599
He is so cute. I got your nose.
470
00:28:04,766 --> 00:28:07,936
Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
471
00:28:10,271 --> 00:28:11,898
Oh, you got my nose.
472
00:28:12,065 --> 00:28:15,276
You got my nose. Yes, you do.
473
00:28:16,611 --> 00:28:19,406
He's got my nose. He's got my nose.
He's hurting--
474
00:28:19,572 --> 00:28:20,949
Darryl, he's hurting me.
475
00:28:21,116 --> 00:28:23,618
-He's hurting me.
-Okay, okay, okay.
476
00:28:23,785 --> 00:28:25,620
Wow, is he strong.
477
00:28:26,246 --> 00:28:28,707
Yeah, tell me about it.
I still can't feel my hand.
478
00:28:28,873 --> 00:28:31,334
Okay, Darryl, I think you should
take the crib upstairs.
479
00:28:31,501 --> 00:28:33,795
-Yes.
-Ladies, will you help with this stuff?
480
00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:35,213
Okay.
481
00:28:35,380 --> 00:28:37,465
-Guys, help me grab this.
-I'll get this box.
482
00:28:37,632 --> 00:28:39,801
Let's go into the kitchen.
Come, Calvin.
483
00:28:39,968 --> 00:28:42,846
-Come on, baby.
-Come on, little pumpkin-butt.
484
00:28:44,013 --> 00:28:46,141
Janet, this fits perfectly.
485
00:28:46,641 --> 00:28:48,017
-Thank you.
-Let me see.
486
00:28:48,768 --> 00:28:50,562
I'm glad I kept it.
487
00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:53,940
Can't remember the last time
I could wear horizontal stripes.
488
00:28:54,899 --> 00:28:57,819
But, you know, here I go again.
How about you, woman of the hour?
489
00:28:57,986 --> 00:29:00,822
-Congratulations on the promotion.
-Oh, thank you.
490
00:29:00,989 --> 00:29:03,324
It's awesome.
Was Darryl so excited or what?
491
00:29:03,491 --> 00:29:07,662
No, actually. He was disappointed.
492
00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:10,081
Baby up-up.
493
00:29:12,500 --> 00:29:15,503
He thought I was going to tell him
I was pregnant.
494
00:29:20,175 --> 00:29:22,177
Okay, right.
495
00:29:22,343 --> 00:29:24,095
Little Ms. Corporate-Climber
pregnant?
496
00:29:24,262 --> 00:29:29,559
What? You guys.
I want to have a baby at some point.
497
00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:33,438
You could schedule one between
a conference call and a client meeting.
498
00:29:34,856 --> 00:29:38,526
Okay, you know, Darryl is the one
that I'm really worried about.
499
00:29:38,693 --> 00:29:41,112
Are you kidding me?
You're lucky he wants one at all.
500
00:29:41,279 --> 00:29:43,198
I had to promise Greg
I'd give him these.
501
00:29:45,283 --> 00:29:48,703
Okay, now. Okay, easy, fella.
502
00:29:50,997 --> 00:29:55,376
This one's real grabby.
He must have been breast-fed.
503
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,837
Is the baby hungry?
504
00:29:58,296 --> 00:29:59,380
He should be nursed.
505
00:29:59,547 --> 00:30:01,549
Baby like nursey-nursey.
506
00:30:02,175 --> 00:30:04,469
Well, are you sure
you should do that?
507
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:07,263
Yeah. You don't have to be
the birth mother to breast-feed.
508
00:30:08,056 --> 00:30:11,559
-Nursey-nursey?
-You want to nursey?
509
00:30:13,978 --> 00:30:15,396
Okay.
510
00:30:19,484 --> 00:30:20,860
All right.
511
00:30:21,569 --> 00:30:25,323
-Drink up, precious.
-This one's real wriggly, huh?
512
00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:28,576
Come on. Come on, now. Suck it.
513
00:30:28,743 --> 00:30:33,540
Latch-- Oh, that is not okay.
514
00:30:35,416 --> 00:30:36,709
Let's get these kids home.
515
00:30:36,876 --> 00:30:39,587
I have to take Nicholas and Chrissy
to Mommy and Me tomorrow.
516
00:30:39,754 --> 00:30:41,047
Oh, have fun.
517
00:30:41,214 --> 00:30:44,300
Don't worry about the nose.
He's adorable.
518
00:30:44,467 --> 00:30:47,303
-Thanks for all the stuff.
-Call if you need anything.
519
00:30:47,470 --> 00:30:48,930
-Bye, good night.
-Good night.
520
00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:51,850
If you change your mind
about Consuela, you can take her.
521
00:30:52,016 --> 00:30:54,102
-Oh, thanks.
-I've got, like, all the chores.
522
00:30:54,269 --> 00:30:55,937
One for you...
523
00:30:57,272 --> 00:30:59,274
...and one for the baby.
524
00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:19,669
He's a little charmer, isn't he?
525
00:31:19,878 --> 00:31:22,130
Call me.
526
00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:26,801
I could have sworn he just
stuck his tongue in my mouth.
527
00:31:34,976 --> 00:31:37,312
-Well, I-- That was-- I thought--
-That went well.
528
00:31:37,478 --> 00:31:39,647
-Yeah.
-I thought they thought he was cute.
529
00:31:39,814 --> 00:31:42,358
Great. You're wonder--
Oh, Calvin, you did so good.
530
00:31:42,525 --> 00:31:44,611
-Come on. Yeah.
-You did so well.
531
00:31:44,777 --> 00:31:47,697
If that lady touches you in a way
that makes you uncomfortable...
532
00:31:47,864 --> 00:31:49,365
...you let us know, okay?
533
00:31:49,532 --> 00:31:51,117
-Yeah. You're the charmer.
-Yeah.
534
00:31:51,993 --> 00:31:56,164
Does that warm water feel good?
Does it feel nice?
535
00:31:56,331 --> 00:31:58,499
Yeah. Look at you.
536
00:31:58,666 --> 00:32:02,337
Do you want some company in there
with you?
537
00:32:02,503 --> 00:32:03,796
I think we can work that out.
538
00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:07,050
Yeah? Yeah?
539
00:32:07,216 --> 00:32:08,593
Hey, Darryl?
540
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,846
Hello. It's bath time.
541
00:32:14,641 --> 00:32:16,684
Come on, let's get clean.
542
00:32:17,644 --> 00:32:20,563
We gonna clean your little butt-butt.
Yes, we are.
543
00:32:20,730 --> 00:32:22,565
And then we gonna play
Snatch the Marbles.
544
00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:24,192
We're gonna fart in the tub...
545
00:32:24,359 --> 00:32:27,487
...and make our own
little Jacuzzi bubbles.
546
00:32:32,659 --> 00:32:36,037
Oh, the little baby.
Yes, you're so clean now.
547
00:32:36,204 --> 00:32:37,664
You're so nice and clean.
548
00:32:42,418 --> 00:32:45,296
Hey. Okay-- Calvin.
549
00:32:45,463 --> 00:32:47,715
Okay, Calvin.
550
00:32:48,925 --> 00:32:50,385
Okay. Hey, Darryl?
551
00:32:50,551 --> 00:32:53,721
-All right, sweetie.
-Hello, little boy.
552
00:32:53,888 --> 00:32:55,556
Hi, cutie.
553
00:32:55,723 --> 00:32:57,934
Now it's time to get you
all dressed for bed, huh?
554
00:32:58,101 --> 00:33:00,895
Don't forget the doctor said
we need to take his temperature.
555
00:33:01,062 --> 00:33:02,605
Okay.
556
00:33:02,814 --> 00:33:04,065
-Yeah.
-All right.
557
00:33:04,232 --> 00:33:05,692
Open up wide.
558
00:33:05,858 --> 00:33:08,736
-Darryl, what are you doing?
-I'm taking his temperature.
559
00:33:08,903 --> 00:33:12,407
Sweetie, he's a baby,
so that's a rectal thermometer.
560
00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:15,243
Yeah. Go ahead.
561
00:33:15,410 --> 00:33:16,661
-You're such a--
-Okay, baby.
562
00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:18,871
All right. Here we go. There we--
563
00:33:20,081 --> 00:33:21,833
-Oh, shit.
-Darryl, what are you doing?
564
00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:24,919
Darryl, come on. Darryl, just--
565
00:33:25,086 --> 00:33:27,380
-I'm trying to--
-Honey.
566
00:33:27,547 --> 00:33:29,424
It's okay, Calvin. It's okay.
567
00:33:29,590 --> 00:33:31,884
-If he'll just roll over here.
-Okay, good, good.
568
00:33:32,051 --> 00:33:33,761
-I could get him down like--
-No, no.
569
00:33:33,928 --> 00:33:37,265
-Wait, be gentle. Calvin, it's okay.
-He's a little strong.
570
00:33:37,432 --> 00:33:40,601
Okay, all right.
Nobody likes this, I know.
571
00:33:40,768 --> 00:33:43,271
I know, nobody-- Nobody likes this.
572
00:33:43,438 --> 00:33:47,442
It's okay. It's okay.
Oh, yeah. There we go, son.
573
00:33:47,608 --> 00:33:51,320
-Here comes the choo-choo train.
-You're okay, baby. Oh, yeah.
574
00:33:57,035 --> 00:34:01,539
It's in the tunnel, son.
It's almost at your stop.
575
00:34:06,169 --> 00:34:08,337
There you go, little man.
576
00:34:08,713 --> 00:34:12,508
Now, this is gonna put you to sleep.
577
00:34:13,468 --> 00:34:15,094
All right, little buddy.
578
00:34:21,559 --> 00:34:23,311
Good night, baby.
579
00:34:29,901 --> 00:34:32,820
Like this thing's gonna
put somebody to sleep.
580
00:34:33,446 --> 00:34:35,406
I'm gonna wait for you
to go to sleep.
581
00:34:35,573 --> 00:34:38,034
I'm gonna get my diamond
and be out.
582
00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:12,003
Come on, baby, be in here.
Come on.
583
00:36:13,588 --> 00:36:14,881
Come on.
584
00:36:15,047 --> 00:36:17,091
Come on, where you at?
Where you at?
585
00:36:17,258 --> 00:36:18,843
There we go.
586
00:36:20,303 --> 00:36:24,724
Hi, beautiful. Yes.
587
00:36:40,281 --> 00:36:42,950
Man, this idiot better
pick up the phone.
588
00:36:57,506 --> 00:36:59,926
People calling here all kind of time.
589
00:37:00,092 --> 00:37:03,930
Like people don't live here. I mean,
you can't be calling nobody house....
590
00:37:04,722 --> 00:37:08,809
P-Unit Productions, in association
with Go Get a Girl Entertainment.
591
00:37:08,976 --> 00:37:11,312
-Hey, yo, Percy. It's me.
-CaIvin?
592
00:37:11,479 --> 00:37:14,440
-What's going on?
-I need you to come pick me up.
593
00:37:14,607 --> 00:37:17,485
-Now, look, I got the dia--
-Reach for the sky.
594
00:37:18,986 --> 00:37:20,655
Who you talking to, sonny boy?
595
00:37:25,826 --> 00:37:28,496
Oh, don't give me that old...crap.
596
00:37:28,663 --> 00:37:29,997
Hand me that damn phone.
597
00:37:31,290 --> 00:37:33,042
-Who is this?
-Me no speak no English.
598
00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:34,502
Wrong number. Sorry.
599
00:37:34,669 --> 00:37:37,338
Who the hell's "No speak the English"?
Who the hell is this?
600
00:37:37,505 --> 00:37:39,257
-Say something.
-What are you doing?
601
00:37:39,423 --> 00:37:41,717
I heard some noises,
came downstairs...
602
00:37:41,884 --> 00:37:43,970
...and caught this little hoodlum
on the phone.
603
00:37:44,136 --> 00:37:46,681
-Must've looked for the safe.
-We don't have a safe.
604
00:37:46,847 --> 00:37:49,600
-He didn't know that.
-Dada.
605
00:37:50,601 --> 00:37:54,522
Pop, man. He's a baby.
606
00:37:54,689 --> 00:37:57,525
It's his first night in a new house.
Probably couldn't sleep.
607
00:37:57,692 --> 00:38:01,779
Look at you. You look crazy, man.
Holding a shotgun, wearing red socks.
608
00:38:01,946 --> 00:38:05,074
You look like Fred Sanford on crack.
Put that away, man. Go to bed.
609
00:38:05,241 --> 00:38:07,493
Oh, you are good.
610
00:38:07,660 --> 00:38:09,537
You are real good.
611
00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:11,872
I'm gonna keep my eye on you.
612
00:38:12,331 --> 00:38:13,874
You gonna give me the finger?
613
00:38:14,041 --> 00:38:17,503
Where did you learn that, huh?
BET videos After Dark?
614
00:38:20,381 --> 00:38:21,632
Him scary.
615
00:38:21,799 --> 00:38:23,509
There we go.
616
00:38:23,676 --> 00:38:26,846
Don't pay him any mind.
He just a old, crazy man.
617
00:38:27,013 --> 00:38:30,558
I know just what to fix you
so you can have a good night's sleep.
618
00:38:44,613 --> 00:38:47,575
Go. Boy, you must have
had a rough first night.
619
00:38:49,035 --> 00:38:51,078
That's because I'm new
at this dad stuff.
620
00:38:51,245 --> 00:38:53,914
Give me a minute,
I'll get it together.
621
00:38:57,668 --> 00:39:01,088
Man, can't imagine
what kind of life you must have had.
622
00:39:01,922 --> 00:39:03,132
I'll tell you this:
623
00:39:03,299 --> 00:39:05,885
This weekend is gonna be
the best weekend of your life.
624
00:39:06,052 --> 00:39:07,261
You know why?
625
00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:10,348
Because I'm gonna show you
how great it is to have a dad...
626
00:39:10,514 --> 00:39:14,226
...and you're gonna show me
how great it is to be a dad.
627
00:39:15,311 --> 00:39:18,272
Vanessa don't think I can do it,
but I know I got it in me.
628
00:39:18,439 --> 00:39:21,275
You know why? Because
I would never abandon my child.
629
00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:26,113
Ever. I'll always be there for him.
630
00:39:26,489 --> 00:39:29,492
And there'll never be a time
when my son can't come to me...
631
00:39:29,658 --> 00:39:32,036
...and talk to me
about anything in the world...
632
00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:36,123
...over a nice, warm cup of milk.
633
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,469
What's so funny?
What are you all giggly for?
634
00:39:49,220 --> 00:39:51,263
You're drinking Janet's breast milk.
635
00:39:54,392 --> 00:39:58,771
Baby, you did the right thing,
letting him stay with us this weekend.
636
00:39:59,230 --> 00:40:01,065
Thank you.
637
00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:07,488
But you know, I still can't wait for us
to have one of our own.
638
00:40:08,906 --> 00:40:12,576
-Yes, I know.
-All right.
639
00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:16,455
You wanna know the nice thing
about you not being pregnant?
640
00:40:16,956 --> 00:40:18,499
What?
641
00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:20,835
We get to keep trying.
642
00:40:31,137 --> 00:40:34,181
Honey? What about the baby?
643
00:40:34,348 --> 00:40:37,184
He's asleep, don't worry about him.
You've got me.
644
00:40:37,351 --> 00:40:39,145
But, honey...
645
00:40:41,105 --> 00:40:42,857
...he's watching.
646
00:40:45,818 --> 00:40:48,946
He's too young to know
what's going on. Forget him.
647
00:40:52,533 --> 00:40:53,909
Okay.
648
00:40:55,286 --> 00:40:56,996
Okay.
649
00:41:11,510 --> 00:41:13,053
Good morning.
650
00:41:14,763 --> 00:41:17,683
More like, great morning.
651
00:41:17,850 --> 00:41:21,228
Looks like someone had a really good
night's sleep last night.
652
00:41:22,229 --> 00:41:23,856
Who could sleep?
653
00:41:24,023 --> 00:41:27,193
-You were an animal last night.
-Oh, well, you know--
654
00:41:27,359 --> 00:41:31,155
I don't remember the last time
we did it twice in one night.
655
00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:32,781
Twice?
656
00:41:35,409 --> 00:41:36,869
Hey, when did he get in the bed?
657
00:41:38,579 --> 00:41:41,916
I don't know. I don't know
how he gets out of that crib.
658
00:41:42,082 --> 00:41:43,751
He's such a crafty little fella.
659
00:41:47,838 --> 00:41:50,007
You want some breakfast?
660
00:41:50,174 --> 00:41:51,592
Some more ass.
661
00:41:54,136 --> 00:41:55,513
Twice?
662
00:42:14,114 --> 00:42:17,243
-How's my baby girl this morning?
-So good, Dad.
663
00:42:17,409 --> 00:42:19,787
-How are you?
-Mighty fine, thank you.
664
00:42:19,954 --> 00:42:21,455
No, no, no.
665
00:42:21,622 --> 00:42:23,958
Thanks very much, Jim.
And in other news...
666
00:42:24,124 --> 00:42:27,086
...poIice have a suspect
in yesterday's daring diamond heist.
667
00:42:27,253 --> 00:42:29,922
It is this man,
CaIvin "Baby Face" Sims...
668
00:42:30,089 --> 00:42:32,299
-...who was reIeased--
-D. Rex, D. Rex, D. Rex.
669
00:42:32,466 --> 00:42:34,301
Stop that,
whatever you're talking about.
670
00:42:34,468 --> 00:42:37,263
D. Rex, D. Rex, D. Rex.
671
00:42:37,429 --> 00:42:38,639
Just be quiet.
672
00:42:39,014 --> 00:42:40,641
-D. Rex.
-Baby Face--
673
00:42:40,933 --> 00:42:43,978
Dad, let Calvin watch his show.
674
00:42:44,353 --> 00:42:47,773
You have to be the adult.
Let Calvin watch his tape.
675
00:42:47,940 --> 00:42:50,818
-I wanna watch the news.
-I don't care what you wanna watch.
676
00:42:50,985 --> 00:42:53,612
He was watching the TV first.
677
00:42:53,779 --> 00:42:55,239
I'll read the news.
678
00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:59,827
I tell you, the world is going to hell
in a handcart.
679
00:43:36,071 --> 00:43:39,033
Wow, Dad,
you really cleaned your plate.
680
00:43:39,199 --> 00:43:41,493
What?
That hobgoblin ate my breakfast.
681
00:43:42,536 --> 00:43:44,538
Oh, Daddy, don't be ridiculous.
682
00:43:44,705 --> 00:43:47,875
I ain't being ridiculous.
That little sucker ate my breakfast.
683
00:43:48,042 --> 00:43:51,545
I'm going to the diner, where I can eat
and watch the news in peace.
684
00:43:51,837 --> 00:43:55,341
Okay, Dad. Be careful.
685
00:43:55,507 --> 00:43:59,345
Why don't we get you some food?
You must be so hungry.
686
00:43:59,511 --> 00:44:01,972
It's time for you to eat something.
687
00:44:03,015 --> 00:44:05,517
-Morning, sweetie.
-Oh, good morning, baby.
688
00:44:05,684 --> 00:44:06,977
Hello.
689
00:44:07,144 --> 00:44:10,147
-I have your breakfast right here.
-Oh, goodie.
690
00:44:11,732 --> 00:44:15,402
Oh, sweetie, okay,
now your dad is really tripping.
691
00:44:15,861 --> 00:44:19,365
Last night, I caught him
holding little Calvin at gunpoint...
692
00:44:19,531 --> 00:44:22,034
...because he heard him
talking on the phone.
693
00:44:22,284 --> 00:44:24,078
That is-- That's crazy.
694
00:44:24,411 --> 00:44:27,039
Well, you know...
695
00:44:27,206 --> 00:44:32,252
...just now he ate all of his breakfast,
and then he told me the baby ate it.
696
00:44:33,420 --> 00:44:36,340
-Can you say, "Whispering Glen"?
-No, Darryl.
697
00:44:36,507 --> 00:44:37,925
No nursing homes, okay?
698
00:44:38,092 --> 00:44:40,511
I don't wanna have this conversation
with you again.
699
00:44:40,678 --> 00:44:43,389
I have to go to work,
but the baby's food is here.
700
00:44:43,555 --> 00:44:45,683
-And I love you.
-I love you too.
701
00:44:45,849 --> 00:44:49,228
Have a good day. Kiss. Feed him.
702
00:44:50,229 --> 00:44:51,939
All right.
703
00:44:54,191 --> 00:44:57,486
Okay, okay, let's get you all fed.
704
00:44:57,653 --> 00:45:02,783
All right. Open up wide.
Here come the airplane.
705
00:45:08,789 --> 00:45:10,582
Oh, I see.
706
00:45:10,749 --> 00:45:12,918
You want to play a game
of peekaboo, huh?
707
00:45:13,085 --> 00:45:15,087
Okay, okay, okay.
708
00:45:15,254 --> 00:45:16,880
Peekaboo, I see you.
709
00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:22,386
Peekaboo, I see you.
710
00:45:38,318 --> 00:45:41,488
You gotta be kidding me. God.
711
00:45:48,662 --> 00:45:50,247
Darryl?
712
00:45:51,498 --> 00:45:53,167
Where did I put it?
713
00:45:59,673 --> 00:46:01,842
Honey, I forgot my purse.
714
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,762
Darryl. Darryl.
715
00:46:05,179 --> 00:46:08,515
Sweetheart.
You can't just fall asleep like this.
716
00:46:09,016 --> 00:46:12,770
Oh, honey, I know that you're tired,
but you have to watch the baby.
717
00:46:12,936 --> 00:46:16,023
You take your eyes off him for a
minute, God knows what could happen.
718
00:46:16,190 --> 00:46:17,691
I was....
719
00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:21,111
-Darryl.
-I was....
720
00:46:21,278 --> 00:46:23,155
-What...?
-I don't--
721
00:46:23,322 --> 00:46:27,201
Honey, just take him to the park
or something, okay?
722
00:46:27,618 --> 00:46:28,952
Okay.
723
00:46:30,537 --> 00:46:31,872
What...?
724
00:46:39,546 --> 00:46:42,841
Peekaboo. Then I don't-- What?
725
00:46:48,013 --> 00:46:50,641
We gonna play baseball.
We gonna play football.
726
00:46:50,808 --> 00:46:53,727
And we're gonna play golf.
727
00:46:54,061 --> 00:46:56,939
And we're gonna shoot a plane.
728
00:46:57,105 --> 00:46:59,566
We're gonna have fun.
729
00:47:03,278 --> 00:47:04,947
There we go.
730
00:47:05,113 --> 00:47:08,575
All right, son. Now, don't be afraid
to really swing that bat, okay?
731
00:47:08,742 --> 00:47:11,995
Now, the trick is to really
keep your eye on the ball, okay?
732
00:47:12,162 --> 00:47:13,705
Here we go.
733
00:47:18,919 --> 00:47:21,547
Yeah, you want that sucker
to really fly.
734
00:47:21,713 --> 00:47:23,841
You wanna give that thing a lot of air,
okay?
735
00:47:24,007 --> 00:47:25,717
There you go.
Give it some good pump.
736
00:47:25,884 --> 00:47:28,428
You want it to really fly.
You want it to blast off.
737
00:47:28,595 --> 00:47:32,099
Yeah, there you go.
No, no, no. You want to point that up.
738
00:47:32,266 --> 00:47:35,561
No. No, no, son. What are you--?
No, no, no. Don't push that button.
739
00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:42,067
Okay, so now, what you wanna do
is you wanna wind that baby up...
740
00:47:42,234 --> 00:47:44,278
...and you throw it
as hard as you can, okay?
741
00:47:44,444 --> 00:47:46,029
-Okay.
-All right. Come on.
742
00:47:50,033 --> 00:47:52,452
Look at that. Yeah.
743
00:47:53,495 --> 00:47:56,290
Yeah. Look at that sucker.
744
00:47:58,792 --> 00:48:00,127
Where'd it go?
745
00:48:10,095 --> 00:48:11,889
The ducks teach you playfulness.
746
00:48:12,055 --> 00:48:14,766
Here, you can borrow this if you want.
He'd love it.
747
00:48:14,933 --> 00:48:16,977
Hey, Dad-For-A-Weekend.
748
00:48:17,603 --> 00:48:18,812
How's it going?
749
00:48:18,979 --> 00:48:21,940
I think they designed all the toys
to hit you in the nuts.
750
00:48:22,482 --> 00:48:23,901
Oh, yeah.
751
00:48:24,735 --> 00:48:25,736
Get off.
752
00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:29,072
Richard, I bet my son could
kick the crap out of both your kids...
753
00:48:29,239 --> 00:48:31,909
...blindfolded,
one hand tied behind his back.
754
00:48:32,075 --> 00:48:35,537
Come on, Greg.
Nicholas is a sweet, sensitive kid.
755
00:48:35,704 --> 00:48:37,748
He's not a fighter.
756
00:48:37,915 --> 00:48:40,959
I'm telling you, Darryl, see, you gotta
be tough on kids nowadays.
757
00:48:41,126 --> 00:48:44,588
All right, the slightest bit of weakness
and they could end up...
758
00:48:47,007 --> 00:48:48,467
...like that.
759
00:48:48,634 --> 00:48:51,553
Well, I don't know about all that,
but I gotta be honest with you.
760
00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:54,806
I'm starting to dig this father thing.
It's kind of cool.
761
00:48:54,973 --> 00:48:58,685
It's kind of like I get to do all the things
that I never did with my dad.
762
00:48:58,852 --> 00:49:00,687
-You know?
-That's real cute.
763
00:49:01,229 --> 00:49:04,441
Really, I think I'm having
a positive influence on him.
764
00:49:05,943 --> 00:49:08,362
Cee-lo, that's right.
Dig up in your OshKosh...
765
00:49:08,528 --> 00:49:09,988
...your babyGap and pay the man.
766
00:49:10,155 --> 00:49:13,367
-That's right. Yeah.
-It's not fair.
767
00:49:13,533 --> 00:49:15,202
Come on,
put your money in the pot.
768
00:49:15,369 --> 00:49:17,120
Whine to your mama,
don't whine to me.
769
00:49:17,287 --> 00:49:18,622
Right, good game, good game.
770
00:49:18,789 --> 00:49:20,290
Come here, you guys. Come here.
771
00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:24,002
Yo, y'all bring
your money tomorrow...
772
00:49:24,169 --> 00:49:27,047
...I'm gonna sell y'all some pictures
of some naked girls.
773
00:49:28,715 --> 00:49:31,385
What I say?
Y'all don't like big breasts?
774
00:49:31,551 --> 00:49:33,178
Daddy, can I have some ice cream?
775
00:49:33,345 --> 00:49:34,721
Sure, sweetie. What flavor?
776
00:49:34,888 --> 00:49:36,515
-Vanilla.
-You got it.
777
00:49:36,682 --> 00:49:38,141
-I think we'll go with you.
-Okay.
778
00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:41,395
-You're getting big.
-Janet, do me a favor?
779
00:49:42,562 --> 00:49:44,898
-Could you watch Calvin for me?
-No problem.
780
00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:47,401
Calvin.
781
00:49:47,567 --> 00:49:48,860
Percy.
782
00:49:49,820 --> 00:49:53,240
-Cal, you get the diamond?
-Yeah, it's in the diaper bag. Come on.
783
00:49:53,407 --> 00:49:54,574
Hold hands.
784
00:49:54,741 --> 00:49:57,285
Cal, which one is it?
785
00:49:57,744 --> 00:49:59,496
The one with the duck on it.
786
00:50:01,289 --> 00:50:04,918
-They all got ducks on them.
-I think it's that one.
787
00:50:05,419 --> 00:50:07,087
Come on.
788
00:50:07,879 --> 00:50:09,923
Hey, that guy's not even
here with a child.
789
00:50:10,090 --> 00:50:11,550
Hey.
790
00:50:12,884 --> 00:50:15,387
Hey, get away from him.
Girls, let's get him!
791
00:50:15,554 --> 00:50:18,056
-I'm out.
-There he is.
792
00:50:19,599 --> 00:50:21,852
Pumpkin, are you okay?
793
00:50:22,269 --> 00:50:23,937
-Did he touch you anywhere?
-No.
794
00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:26,273
No? Okay. Good.
795
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:28,608
-Hey, is everything okay, Janet?
-It's not okay.
796
00:50:28,775 --> 00:50:31,445
Some sick pervert tried to run away
with this little guy.
797
00:50:31,611 --> 00:50:33,572
Hey, that psycho
took my diaper bag.
798
00:50:33,739 --> 00:50:35,782
-What?
-Damn.
799
00:50:36,950 --> 00:50:38,618
Pervert.
800
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:43,915
Okay, we gonna get you home
where it's nice and safe, all right?
801
00:50:47,627 --> 00:50:50,297
Keys, keys. I want the keys.
802
00:50:50,547 --> 00:50:54,801
Keys, keys, I want keys.
Keys. Keys. Keys.
803
00:50:54,968 --> 00:50:57,137
No, no, no.
Daddy needs these to drive the--
804
00:50:57,304 --> 00:50:58,805
-Keys.
-Oh, God.
805
00:50:58,972 --> 00:51:00,724
Keys. Give me the keys.
806
00:51:01,308 --> 00:51:03,894
-Oh, no. Here. Take that.
-No. Keys.
807
00:51:04,061 --> 00:51:05,979
-I want keys.
-Play with that for a while.
808
00:51:06,146 --> 00:51:08,482
-No, no, no. I need these.
-I want keys.
809
00:51:09,316 --> 00:51:10,734
-Want keys.
-Okay, here.
810
00:51:11,318 --> 00:51:13,945
-Keys.
-All right, all right.
811
00:51:14,112 --> 00:51:18,033
All right, you wait right there,
and I'll be right back, okay?
812
00:51:23,580 --> 00:51:25,248
Hey!
813
00:51:25,415 --> 00:51:26,833
My car. My kid.
814
00:51:28,168 --> 00:51:30,837
Hey, stop!
815
00:51:36,885 --> 00:51:38,929
Someone just stole my car
with my kid in it.
816
00:51:39,096 --> 00:51:40,347
Hop in.
817
00:51:41,431 --> 00:51:43,809
-Thank you.
-Let's go get that son of a bitch.
818
00:51:54,194 --> 00:51:55,654
Damn.
819
00:52:07,707 --> 00:52:10,377
Man, my wife is gonna kill me
when she finds out about this.
820
00:52:10,544 --> 00:52:12,379
My advice to you
is don't tell her a word.
821
00:52:12,546 --> 00:52:14,381
I left Bobby Jr.
at an amusement park.
822
00:52:14,548 --> 00:52:17,050
Told his father he was at
summer camp. Bought me a week.
823
00:52:22,222 --> 00:52:25,267
Hello? I'm on my way.
I'll be there in about five minutes.
824
00:52:25,433 --> 00:52:27,894
I have the cupcakes. Yes.
825
00:52:28,061 --> 00:52:29,896
I didn't bring juice.
You didn't tell me.
826
00:52:30,063 --> 00:52:32,649
-Don't talk to me that way.
-Excuse me.
827
00:52:33,275 --> 00:52:34,901
-I'm hanging up.
-Oh, my God.
828
00:52:35,068 --> 00:52:36,903
I'm hanging up. I'm hanging up.
829
00:52:38,572 --> 00:52:40,657
Watch the road, moron.
830
00:52:41,408 --> 00:52:43,743
Come on, baby. Let's go.
Let's do this.
831
00:52:51,710 --> 00:52:55,088
Oh, wow, you are really upset.
832
00:52:55,255 --> 00:52:58,925
It makes me feel so good to know that
there are people out there who care...
833
00:52:59,092 --> 00:53:01,219
-Mommy, Mommy....
-...about their kids-- What?
834
00:53:01,386 --> 00:53:02,387
--as I do.
835
00:53:02,554 --> 00:53:04,472
-Mommy, Mommy.
-Just one second, honey.
836
00:53:04,639 --> 00:53:07,684
I'm fixing my makeup.
837
00:53:07,851 --> 00:53:10,020
-Mom.
-What?
838
00:53:10,187 --> 00:53:12,439
I think Dillon did a doodie.
839
00:53:12,606 --> 00:53:15,275
-Mom, hurry up. Come on, hurry.
-Change him.
840
00:53:15,442 --> 00:53:18,403
Oh, wait, no. Wait.
841
00:53:19,863 --> 00:53:22,574
Oh, my God. Excuse me. A truck.
842
00:53:22,782 --> 00:53:25,118
Excuse me. A truck.
843
00:53:25,285 --> 00:53:27,245
There you go.
Can you hand me the powder?
844
00:53:27,412 --> 00:53:28,914
What? No, stop.
845
00:53:29,956 --> 00:53:31,541
We're gonna die.
846
00:53:38,381 --> 00:53:40,425
Oh, my God.
847
00:53:40,592 --> 00:53:42,802
Don't worry.
You'll get your little boy back.
848
00:53:42,969 --> 00:53:45,805
It ain't worth it. Let me out.
849
00:53:52,312 --> 00:53:53,605
Oh, no.
850
00:54:09,746 --> 00:54:12,832
-Suspect got away.
-Damn it!
851
00:54:13,750 --> 00:54:18,255
-But the kid's okay.
-I want my daddy.
852
00:54:19,631 --> 00:54:23,843
I want Daddy. I want my daddy.
853
00:54:24,010 --> 00:54:25,887
Thanks for everything.
854
00:54:27,597 --> 00:54:29,683
Oh, by the way, I run a carpool...
855
00:54:29,849 --> 00:54:32,852
...if the little one ever needs
a ride to preschool.
856
00:54:33,103 --> 00:54:34,854
-Daddy.
-That's my kid.
857
00:54:35,146 --> 00:54:37,357
Daddy. Daddy.
858
00:54:37,524 --> 00:54:40,944
-Are you okay, huh?
-Daddy.
859
00:54:41,236 --> 00:54:45,532
-Son's okay, but car's totaled.
-Screw the car. Long as he's okay.
860
00:54:45,699 --> 00:54:48,618
I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry, little buddy.
861
00:54:48,785 --> 00:54:51,371
I would never want anything
to happen to you.
862
00:54:51,538 --> 00:54:53,415
I love you, man.
863
00:54:56,209 --> 00:54:57,794
-Mr. W.
-Yeah.
864
00:54:57,961 --> 00:55:00,880
Your boy came through. I got it.
865
00:55:03,216 --> 00:55:05,719
Bring it to me.
Watch my drink, babe.
866
00:55:21,067 --> 00:55:25,071
Keep looking. Keep digging in there.
It's in there. It's in there, baby.
867
00:55:26,072 --> 00:55:27,907
Look around in there.
868
00:55:28,950 --> 00:55:31,703
Mr. Dub,
could you dig deeper in there?
869
00:55:31,870 --> 00:55:33,163
Damn.
870
00:55:35,290 --> 00:55:37,083
Is that a dirty diaper?
871
00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:41,713
-Did I just touch a dirty diaper?
-Wait a minute.
872
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:44,132
Whoa, that baby had
lasagna last night.
873
00:55:44,299 --> 00:55:46,760
I know it's in here.
The diamond's in here.
874
00:55:46,926 --> 00:55:50,680
-He said the diamond's in there.
-Your 24 hours are up, Percy.
875
00:55:55,310 --> 00:55:57,354
And you haven't
delivered my diamond.
876
00:55:57,520 --> 00:55:59,689
Do you know
how that makes me feel?
877
00:56:00,940 --> 00:56:04,277
Please, Mr. Dub, give me a little
more time. I promise I'll get the rock.
878
00:56:04,444 --> 00:56:07,030
It makes me feel like
wanting to hurt you very badly.
879
00:56:07,572 --> 00:56:09,366
But I won't.
880
00:56:09,949 --> 00:56:13,119
Because that diamond
means more to me than your life.
881
00:56:13,453 --> 00:56:15,705
Now, you get out of here
and find me that diamond.
882
00:56:18,750 --> 00:56:22,337
-Get out of here.
-I promise you, okay? I got you.
883
00:56:23,671 --> 00:56:26,132
Follow him. Find his partner.
884
00:56:26,299 --> 00:56:29,803
Get me my diamond,
then stick them both in the ground.
885
00:56:30,428 --> 00:56:32,555
Aren't you taking this a bit far?
886
00:56:32,722 --> 00:56:35,266
I didn't even know they made
a LoJack for kids.
887
00:56:35,433 --> 00:56:39,062
No, I'm telling you, I'm not taking
any chances. This guy's tricky.
888
00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:40,605
Maybe I should skip the game.
889
00:56:40,772 --> 00:56:44,818
Are you crazy?
They're playing Detroit, D.
890
00:56:45,402 --> 00:56:49,280
Why don't we pack up the little ugly
son of a bitch and take him with us?
891
00:56:52,283 --> 00:56:54,160
You really think
that's the best idea?
892
00:56:54,327 --> 00:56:56,663
Yeah, Richard,
I do think it's the best idea.
893
00:56:56,830 --> 00:56:59,165
It's never too early
to become a Chicago fan.
894
00:57:01,084 --> 00:57:04,337
-You know what, I'm in.
-Yeah. Come on, let's go.
895
00:57:04,504 --> 00:57:08,091
Okay, but when the ladies ask,
I was the one that said no.
896
00:57:08,258 --> 00:57:09,509
I-- No.
897
00:57:15,849 --> 00:57:18,351
Are you ready to see how exciting
a hockey game is?
898
00:57:18,518 --> 00:57:19,811
It's like boxing on ice.
899
00:57:19,978 --> 00:57:22,480
Five rows up behind the penalty box.
Who the man?
900
00:57:22,647 --> 00:57:24,149
-Yeah, boy. Yeah.
-That's right.
901
00:57:28,862 --> 00:57:31,614
Let's go. Come on. Come on.
902
00:57:32,282 --> 00:57:35,201
-Go, go, go.
-Come on, what are you watching?
903
00:57:37,912 --> 00:57:39,706
Did you see that play? Hey.
904
00:57:39,873 --> 00:57:41,958
What you got in your mouth there,
little fella?
905
00:57:42,667 --> 00:57:46,045
What you got in your mouth?
Open up. Open. Let me see.
906
00:57:46,754 --> 00:57:48,715
Oh, okay, it was nothing.
907
00:57:48,882 --> 00:57:50,800
Come on.
908
00:57:53,094 --> 00:57:54,095
T Man!
909
00:57:54,262 --> 00:57:56,222
-Come on.
-Here we go.
910
00:57:56,848 --> 00:57:58,099
Yeah.
911
00:58:00,727 --> 00:58:02,312
Yeah.
912
00:58:06,441 --> 00:58:09,068
-All right, who needs drinks?
-I'm good.
913
00:58:09,235 --> 00:58:14,908
Oh, wait. Yeah,
I guess I need another one, please.
914
00:58:16,659 --> 00:58:17,911
-Thanks.
-Thanks.
915
00:58:18,119 --> 00:58:20,622
How about you guys?
Anything to drink?
916
00:58:20,788 --> 00:58:23,583
-Yeah, I'll grab a beer, sure.
-Me too, me too. Get me one.
917
00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:26,753
-There you go.
-Thank you.
918
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:30,465
-Okay. Here you go.
-Nice ass.
919
00:58:33,259 --> 00:58:34,594
Pig.
920
00:58:35,762 --> 00:58:37,514
Tramp.
921
00:58:48,358 --> 00:58:51,778
What the hell was that for?
922
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:54,197
-What did I do?
-You know her?
923
00:58:54,364 --> 00:58:55,782
No, I don't know her.
924
00:58:57,075 --> 00:58:58,368
I don't know-- I don't.
925
00:58:58,535 --> 00:59:00,245
-Hey, man. Get your own.
-Hey.
926
00:59:00,537 --> 00:59:02,121
-What?
-Beer. It's empty.
927
00:59:02,288 --> 00:59:04,707
-So get another one.
-I'm gonna--
928
00:59:04,874 --> 00:59:06,960
-Get off. Wait.
-What's your problem, man?
929
00:59:08,044 --> 00:59:10,380
-Come on, man. Come on, Miller.
-Miller.
930
00:59:13,424 --> 00:59:15,385
You suck.
931
00:59:17,595 --> 00:59:20,807
-You suck, man. You suck.
-Shut it, you losers!
932
00:59:20,974 --> 00:59:23,935
Want some of me? Come down here.
Come play with the big boys.
933
00:59:24,102 --> 00:59:27,313
-You're a bully. You're a bully, man.
-Yeah, I thought so, you princess.
934
00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:30,316
-Come on, you.
-Pick on somebody your own size.
935
00:59:30,483 --> 00:59:32,485
Come on down here, then.
936
00:59:36,072 --> 00:59:37,782
Who did that?
937
00:59:40,451 --> 00:59:43,121
You. You're dead!
938
00:59:45,999 --> 00:59:47,500
He's gonna kill me.
939
00:59:48,668 --> 00:59:51,462
-Get out of my way.
-It wasn't me. It was the baby.
940
00:59:51,629 --> 00:59:53,089
-You're mine.
-Get him.
941
00:59:53,256 --> 00:59:54,674
Hockey fight!
942
01:00:01,014 --> 01:00:04,017
He's got my ear.
Get this baby off of me.
943
01:00:08,521 --> 01:00:12,442
-Hey. Hey, hey.
-Is that all you got?
944
01:00:16,571 --> 01:00:18,031
I don't know, baby.
945
01:00:18,197 --> 01:00:21,075
Maybe you're right.
Maybe I'm not ready to be a dad yet.
946
01:00:21,242 --> 01:00:23,911
It really wasn't your fault.
947
01:00:24,203 --> 01:00:26,289
It's so funny, man.
It just happened so fast.
948
01:00:26,456 --> 01:00:28,333
I took my eyes off him
for one second and:
949
01:00:28,499 --> 01:00:30,543
He would've never had
another birthday again.
950
01:00:32,879 --> 01:00:35,840
Hey. Why don't we do that?
951
01:00:36,007 --> 01:00:37,717
Why don't we throw him
a birthday party?
952
01:00:37,884 --> 01:00:40,386
Well, we don't know
when his birthday is.
953
01:00:40,553 --> 01:00:42,180
So what?
We'll celebrate it tomorrow.
954
01:00:42,347 --> 01:00:45,892
We'll throw him a big birthday bash.
The biggest birthday party he ever had.
955
01:00:46,059 --> 01:00:48,019
That is a really good idea.
956
01:00:48,394 --> 01:00:52,315
And I got a little surprise for him.
957
01:00:52,482 --> 01:00:54,567
Does everyone know
what time it is?
958
01:00:54,734 --> 01:00:59,572
It's time to dance and sing,
and have lots and lots of fun.
959
01:00:59,739 --> 01:01:02,408
Hey there, boys and girls,
it's Dinosaur Rex...
960
01:01:02,575 --> 01:01:04,577
...your favorite prehistoric pal.
961
01:01:04,744 --> 01:01:06,871
Now, where's the birthday boy?
962
01:01:07,038 --> 01:01:08,581
-There.
-Yo, no, no.
963
01:01:08,790 --> 01:01:10,917
-Happy birthday.
-Hey, yo.
964
01:01:11,084 --> 01:01:12,418
Happy birthday, IittIe buddy
965
01:01:12,585 --> 01:01:13,753
I got a nasty hangover...
966
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:15,713
...and a rock stuck in my gut...
967
01:01:15,880 --> 01:01:18,257
...that got my colon backed up
like rush-hour traffic.
968
01:01:18,424 --> 01:01:21,052
Now, either you're gonna stop
with your fruity kid songs...
969
01:01:21,219 --> 01:01:23,596
...or I'm gonna kick you
right in your furry balls.
970
01:01:24,097 --> 01:01:26,057
-All right?
-Well...
971
01:01:26,224 --> 01:01:28,434
...maybe we should talk
about manners.
972
01:01:28,601 --> 01:01:30,520
Now, manners are very important.
973
01:01:30,687 --> 01:01:34,607
When I was a tiny lizard, my mom
told me that if I had good manners...
974
01:01:34,774 --> 01:01:39,445
...one day I could grow up to be
president of the whole United States.
975
01:01:39,612 --> 01:01:41,989
But instead, you entertain
snotty-nosed kids...
976
01:01:42,156 --> 01:01:43,825
...in a crusty, blue dinosaur suit...
977
01:01:43,991 --> 01:01:47,328
...that smell like sweaty armpits
and baby urine.
978
01:01:48,621 --> 01:01:50,081
Far cry from president, buddy.
979
01:01:54,085 --> 01:01:56,254
I just got out of rehab.
980
01:01:56,421 --> 01:01:58,589
Because of the new
"deadbeat dad" law...
981
01:01:58,756 --> 01:02:02,719
...my wife's garnishing 85 percent
of my dinosaur wages.
982
01:02:02,885 --> 01:02:06,806
So if I weren't afraid to lose this job,
I'd kick your ass.
983
01:02:06,973 --> 01:02:10,226
Oh, you so pathetic you need
$4.50 an hour that bad?
984
01:02:10,393 --> 01:02:12,228
Come on, get your ass kicked.
985
01:02:16,232 --> 01:02:18,317
-Bring it on.
-Come on. Come on, then.
986
01:02:19,402 --> 01:02:22,488
-Hey.
-Oh, you mine now. You mine.
987
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:26,617
Get him, get him, get him.
988
01:02:29,954 --> 01:02:31,622
You little bastard.
989
01:02:34,167 --> 01:02:36,502
That was a cheap shot.
990
01:02:38,504 --> 01:02:41,841
-You stink.
-I hate your show.
991
01:02:42,008 --> 01:02:44,677
It has been confirmed,
the driver of the stoIen vehicIe...
992
01:02:44,844 --> 01:02:48,389
...matches the description of
the suspect in Friday's diamond heist.
993
01:02:48,556 --> 01:02:50,933
-PoIice are Iooking to question...
-I knew it.
994
01:02:51,100 --> 01:02:52,602
...CaIvin "Baby Face" Sims.
995
01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:56,189
Sims, who was recentIy reIeased from
state prison, has thus far eIuded--
996
01:02:56,355 --> 01:02:58,524
Hey, guys, what do you say
we liven this party up?
997
01:02:58,691 --> 01:03:00,526
We have a little
father-son football game.
998
01:03:00,693 --> 01:03:03,696
Football? Greg, I don't know.
I don't think that's a good idea.
999
01:03:03,863 --> 01:03:06,616
Nicholas is a little young
and small for football.
1000
01:03:06,783 --> 01:03:09,327
How about Simon Says instead?
1001
01:03:09,535 --> 01:03:12,330
You know, Richard, your son
practically squats to pee.
1002
01:03:12,872 --> 01:03:15,666
Come on, man.
Look, we gotta scar these kids for life.
1003
01:03:15,833 --> 01:03:17,668
All right?
We gotta toughen them up a bit.
1004
01:03:17,835 --> 01:03:19,212
You don't--
1005
01:03:19,879 --> 01:03:20,880
-Come on.
-Come on.
1006
01:03:21,047 --> 01:03:23,299
Darryl, you in,
or does Calvin have ballet class?
1007
01:03:23,466 --> 01:03:24,550
I'm down.
1008
01:03:25,051 --> 01:03:26,719
-All right.
-All right, let's do it.
1009
01:03:29,680 --> 01:03:32,642
Football? That's not in the books.
I've read all the books.
1010
01:03:32,809 --> 01:03:35,353
Yeah, you're wetting yourself here.
Go play football.
1011
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:37,146
-You sure?
-Rich, let's go.
1012
01:03:37,313 --> 01:03:40,983
-It's 7-0 already.
-All right. I'm playing football.
1013
01:03:41,150 --> 01:03:43,236
Take off the sli-- Oh, my God.
1014
01:03:43,402 --> 01:03:45,613
Whoa, here we go.
1015
01:03:45,780 --> 01:03:48,908
P-U-T-I-T-I-N
Put it in
1016
01:03:49,075 --> 01:03:52,245
P-U-T-I-T-I-N
Put it in
1017
01:03:53,621 --> 01:03:57,250
You and me, this is father-son stuff.
Right here, huh? Here we go.
1018
01:03:57,416 --> 01:04:00,878
-Ready, set....
-I love you, baby.
1019
01:04:01,045 --> 01:04:02,713
Hike.
1020
01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:04,924
One Victoria's Secret. Two--
1021
01:04:06,092 --> 01:04:07,677
-Oh, God.
-Yeah.
1022
01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:10,221
You want the hospital
or the graveyard, punk?
1023
01:04:10,721 --> 01:04:11,889
Yeah.
1024
01:04:12,056 --> 01:04:13,850
-Here we go.
-Are you okay?
1025
01:04:14,016 --> 01:04:16,853
-I thought this was a touch game.
-You have his license number?
1026
01:04:17,019 --> 01:04:19,438
-What is he doing?
-Sorry, D, did I hurt your vagina?
1027
01:04:19,605 --> 01:04:23,484
Our team is what? Dynamite
Our team is what? Dynamite
1028
01:04:23,651 --> 01:04:25,444
-What's going on?
-Our team is
1029
01:04:26,654 --> 01:04:27,697
Dynamite
1030
01:04:27,864 --> 01:04:29,031
Break.
1031
01:04:31,409 --> 01:04:33,202
Run, Dad.
1032
01:04:36,372 --> 01:04:38,040
Nicholas, are you okay?
1033
01:04:38,207 --> 01:04:40,084
Game on.
1034
01:04:40,293 --> 01:04:43,588
-Just stay down, son.
-Thattaboy. You did it.
1035
01:04:44,171 --> 01:04:46,966
Now, that's why we put creatine
in our corn flakes.
1036
01:04:47,592 --> 01:04:49,886
-You okay?
-Punch him, kick him
1037
01:04:50,052 --> 01:04:52,471
Stick him in the eye
1038
01:04:53,973 --> 01:04:55,975
Here we go, here we go.
1039
01:04:56,142 --> 01:04:58,311
All right, here we go.
Come on, boys.
1040
01:05:04,150 --> 01:05:07,278
-Yeah.
-Your husband is a brute.
1041
01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:09,071
-That's right.
-Yo, Greg, man.
1042
01:05:09,238 --> 01:05:10,907
You should be ashamed of yourself!
1043
01:05:11,073 --> 01:05:13,492
Hey, what are you doing, Greg?
Man, he's a kid.
1044
01:05:13,659 --> 01:05:16,454
Hey, Darryl, Darryl.
Shut your pie-hole, man!
1045
01:05:16,621 --> 01:05:19,332
-It's football. It's football.
-I know.
1046
01:05:19,498 --> 01:05:21,918
-Stop acting like a bitch.
-Why you starting, man?
1047
01:05:22,084 --> 01:05:25,338
Come on, let's go. Man, come on.
You guys suck.
1048
01:05:25,713 --> 01:05:27,840
It's time to kick some butt. Come on.
1049
01:05:28,591 --> 01:05:32,970
Ready, set, hike.
1050
01:05:35,389 --> 01:05:38,142
-I got him.
-Nicholas, block left. Come on.
1051
01:05:40,978 --> 01:05:43,356
-Tommy.
-How do you like them apples?
1052
01:05:43,522 --> 01:05:46,359
-Get him.
-Yeah, come on.
1053
01:05:47,485 --> 01:05:50,696
-Yeah.
-Yes. Yes.
1054
01:05:54,283 --> 01:05:58,162
Tommy, what's going on?
You call that a tackle?
1055
01:05:58,621 --> 01:06:00,331
Told you,
you gotta stay in the zone.
1056
01:06:00,498 --> 01:06:03,042
You gotta eat some lightning
and crap thunder, son.
1057
01:06:03,209 --> 01:06:06,003
You wanna get up?
Come on. Come on. Come on.
1058
01:06:07,296 --> 01:06:11,467
-Come on. Come on, man.
-Shut up, Darryl. It's my son.
1059
01:06:12,343 --> 01:06:16,973
All right, it's do-or-die time.
Last point wins.
1060
01:06:17,848 --> 01:06:20,309
Nicholas, you ready?
1061
01:06:21,394 --> 01:06:25,356
Purple Haze. Purple Haze 1 5.
1062
01:06:25,690 --> 01:06:29,902
Ready, set, hike.
1063
01:06:31,070 --> 01:06:32,321
Follow me.
1064
01:06:34,407 --> 01:06:36,534
-Go, Nicholas. Go, Nicholas.
-Come on, come on.
1065
01:06:37,493 --> 01:06:39,078
-Bring it on.
-Go. Go.
1066
01:06:41,580 --> 01:06:43,916
-Go. Oh, my goodness.
-Come on, get up.
1067
01:06:45,084 --> 01:06:47,086
Go, Nicholas. Go, Nicholas.
Go, Nicholas.
1068
01:06:47,253 --> 01:06:49,839
-Come on.
-Tommy, hurry.
1069
01:06:50,006 --> 01:06:53,384
This team is dynamite
We're dynamite
1070
01:06:54,593 --> 01:06:58,472
-That's my son.
-That is my boy. That is my boy.
1071
01:06:58,639 --> 01:07:01,600
You did it, son.
You crapped thunder.
1072
01:07:01,767 --> 01:07:04,395
Nine months inside. Yes.
1073
01:07:04,937 --> 01:07:06,397
Dad, Dad.
1074
01:07:07,106 --> 01:07:10,276
-Yeah, son?
-You suck.
1075
01:07:10,901 --> 01:07:12,695
Son, Dad hurt his pee-pee.
1076
01:07:12,862 --> 01:07:14,572
-Get up, you pussy.
-I can't.
1077
01:07:18,743 --> 01:07:21,746
All right, everybody, here she comes.
Everybody, on three.
1078
01:07:22,079 --> 01:07:24,457
One, two, three.
1079
01:07:29,336 --> 01:07:31,047
They trying to punk me.
1080
01:07:33,174 --> 01:07:36,218
AII these peopIe trying
to make a fooI out of me.
1081
01:07:36,385 --> 01:07:37,970
Trying to make me cry.
1082
01:07:38,220 --> 01:07:43,225
I didn't cry when I went to prison,
and I ain't gonna cry now.
1083
01:07:43,392 --> 01:07:48,147
I don't care if I never had a mother
who threw me a party.
1084
01:07:48,814 --> 01:07:53,861
Today is my birthday
and I'm gonna smiIe, damn it.
1085
01:07:57,656 --> 01:07:59,366
I wish I had a famiIy.
1086
01:07:59,533 --> 01:08:03,496
Well done, baby. What is this, Dad?
1087
01:08:03,662 --> 01:08:06,665
I got a gift for the kid.
I know I've been a little tough on him.
1088
01:08:06,832 --> 01:08:09,835
But it ain't easy when I've been
the center of all the attention...
1089
01:08:10,002 --> 01:08:12,505
...and all of a sudden,
a kid walk in the house. A baby.
1090
01:08:12,671 --> 01:08:16,133
I want you to know now,
from now on, I'm here to help.
1091
01:08:16,842 --> 01:08:20,387
Now, Calvin, make a wish.
1092
01:08:20,554 --> 01:08:25,684
And I hope all of your wishes
come true.
1093
01:08:37,530 --> 01:08:39,115
Oh, great, you're here.
1094
01:08:39,365 --> 01:08:41,700
The bouncy's in the back.
Just go around the side.
1095
01:08:41,867 --> 01:08:43,369
No, I'm here to get my son.
1096
01:08:44,954 --> 01:08:46,664
Little dude. Little man.
1097
01:08:46,956 --> 01:08:48,582
-Son?
-That's right.
1098
01:08:48,749 --> 01:08:51,836
I didn't think I could do it,
but I got myself together, baby.
1099
01:08:52,002 --> 01:08:55,172
So if you just give me the boy,
we're gonna slide out of here.
1100
01:08:55,339 --> 01:08:59,009
So you're the guy
who left his baby on my doorstep...
1101
01:08:59,176 --> 01:09:02,012
-...in a dog basket?
-That's right, but that was a mistake.
1102
01:09:02,179 --> 01:09:04,014
The guy who gave
his own kid a tattoo?
1103
01:09:04,181 --> 01:09:06,725
Wait. I can explain that.
His mother was in the service.
1104
01:09:06,892 --> 01:09:10,604
The person responsible for allowing
his baby boy to take a knife in the gut?
1105
01:09:10,771 --> 01:09:12,398
Wait. The boy needed discipline.
1106
01:09:12,565 --> 01:09:14,191
-You should be castrated.
-What?
1107
01:09:14,358 --> 01:09:16,235
Ain't nothing wrong
with my bowel movement.
1108
01:09:16,402 --> 01:09:19,029
I go two, three times a day.
Let me tell you something.
1109
01:09:19,196 --> 01:09:21,198
I ain't got to explain nothing.
I'm a grown--
1110
01:09:21,365 --> 01:09:24,660
You just caught yourself the official
Brooklyn beat-down, homes.
1111
01:09:24,827 --> 01:09:26,996
You just entered the dragon,
homeboy.
1112
01:09:27,163 --> 01:09:29,456
Word up. I'm gonna tap you
right on your Flintstone.
1113
01:09:29,623 --> 01:09:32,376
Here it come, homeboy.
Here it come, homeboy. Here it--
1114
01:09:37,006 --> 01:09:38,716
Who is Mike Jones?
1115
01:09:40,509 --> 01:09:42,595
Get the hell out of here.
And don't come back.
1116
01:09:45,556 --> 01:09:47,474
I want my mother.
1117
01:09:48,434 --> 01:09:52,104
Looks like Percy's partner
decided to keep the rock for himself.
1118
01:09:52,271 --> 01:09:55,107
-Better go tell Mr. Walken.
-Yeah.
1119
01:09:55,399 --> 01:09:59,278
There you go. Good.
1120
01:09:59,945 --> 01:10:01,405
-Come on.
-Honestly, Janet...
1121
01:10:01,572 --> 01:10:02,948
...I don't know how you do it.
1122
01:10:03,115 --> 01:10:05,284
-What's that, sweetie?
-All of this.
1123
01:10:05,451 --> 01:10:07,703
The parenting, the responsibility.
1124
01:10:07,870 --> 01:10:10,164
It's really no different
than any other career.
1125
01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:14,126
I mean, you have scheduling, you
have planning. Budgeting, of course.
1126
01:10:14,293 --> 01:10:16,962
I guess the big difference
is that my boss...
1127
01:10:17,129 --> 01:10:19,298
...I want to slather in kisses
all day long.
1128
01:10:19,632 --> 01:10:22,635
And I can, without being sued
for sexual harassment.
1129
01:10:24,470 --> 01:10:26,639
And you don't miss the job at all?
1130
01:10:26,805 --> 01:10:29,642
You know,
sometimes I think I miss it...
1131
01:10:29,808 --> 01:10:32,311
...but then I remember
all they really liked about me...
1132
01:10:32,478 --> 01:10:34,313
...was the money
that I made for them.
1133
01:10:34,813 --> 01:10:39,693
You know? I mean, this....
This is real. These guys dig me.
1134
01:10:39,860 --> 01:10:43,989
I am a diva, a giant, a goddess.
1135
01:10:44,156 --> 01:10:46,617
I'm perfect. Aren't I perfect?
1136
01:10:49,286 --> 01:10:51,330
Mommy, I don't feel good.
1137
01:10:51,497 --> 01:10:53,791
What's the matter, honey?
You got a tummy ache?
1138
01:10:53,958 --> 01:10:57,503
Yeah? Think maybe it's from
eating 1 6 pieces of cake...
1139
01:10:57,670 --> 01:10:59,213
...and beef jerky...
1140
01:10:59,380 --> 01:11:01,674
...and a balloon? Yeah.
1141
01:11:03,384 --> 01:11:07,304
-Is he gonna be okay?
-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1142
01:11:07,471 --> 01:11:08,973
Just a little teaspoon of this--
1143
01:11:09,139 --> 01:11:10,349
It is magic.
1144
01:11:10,516 --> 01:11:14,353
--and he will poop very shortly.
1145
01:11:14,979 --> 01:11:16,647
It'll slide right out.
1146
01:11:18,649 --> 01:11:19,692
Good boy.
1147
01:11:20,109 --> 01:11:22,027
Well, maybe you should
take him home.
1148
01:11:22,194 --> 01:11:23,862
Yes, maybe we shall.
1149
01:11:24,029 --> 01:11:26,991
-You wanna go home?
-And you too. Yeah.
1150
01:11:28,325 --> 01:11:30,536
Oh, goodness,
what do you feed this kid?
1151
01:11:30,703 --> 01:11:32,121
What do I feed you?
1152
01:11:32,288 --> 01:11:34,206
-All right. I'll see you soon?
-Okay.
1153
01:11:34,373 --> 01:11:36,208
-Thank you.
-See you later. Come on, hon.
1154
01:11:36,375 --> 01:11:39,586
Such a good boy,
helping your mom.
1155
01:12:01,775 --> 01:12:04,361
Oh, sweetie. Wha--?
1156
01:12:04,695 --> 01:12:08,407
Oh, honey, what's wrong? Sweetie?
1157
01:12:08,574 --> 01:12:11,702
-Hey, little man, what's the matter?
-I don't think he's feeling well.
1158
01:12:11,869 --> 01:12:13,662
Are you okay?
1159
01:12:16,999 --> 01:12:19,626
What's the matter,
you gotta make a poo-poos?
1160
01:12:20,961 --> 01:12:24,423
You gotta make a poo-poo.
He gotta make a little poo-poo, yeah.
1161
01:12:27,301 --> 01:12:28,719
God.
1162
01:12:29,261 --> 01:12:31,430
What's going on, man, huh?
1163
01:12:45,402 --> 01:12:48,447
Ain't that cute.
He made a little surprise...
1164
01:12:48,614 --> 01:12:49,990
...for Mommy.
1165
01:12:50,157 --> 01:12:51,450
-Mom--? For me?
-Go ahead.
1166
01:12:51,617 --> 01:12:54,787
-Mommy take care.
-Darryl, why me? I did it last time.
1167
01:12:54,953 --> 01:12:56,872
Wash your hands
before you make dinner.
1168
01:12:57,039 --> 01:12:58,832
Come on, Calvin.
1169
01:12:59,625 --> 01:13:00,793
Come on.
1170
01:13:08,550 --> 01:13:10,469
Man, what a day.
1171
01:13:12,638 --> 01:13:15,182
-I can't believe you did this.
-Did what?
1172
01:13:15,349 --> 01:13:18,769
-This. Darryl, it's so beautiful.
-I did-- I--
1173
01:13:18,936 --> 01:13:21,271
It's so romantic,
the way you put it in his diaper.
1174
01:13:21,438 --> 01:13:24,566
Then you made me change him
even though I didn't want to. Oh, so--
1175
01:13:25,317 --> 01:13:27,486
-No, but, honey--
-We should go out and celebrate.
1176
01:13:27,653 --> 01:13:29,321
-Somewhere nice? I'll change.
-Wait.
1177
01:13:29,488 --> 01:13:31,990
Thank you, baby.
I love it, I love it, I love it.
1178
01:13:32,157 --> 01:13:35,452
-I love it, I love it, I love it.
-I gotta talk to you.
1179
01:13:35,619 --> 01:13:37,454
-Baby, come here.
-Damn.
1180
01:13:40,791 --> 01:13:42,501
Are you sure you guys
are gonna be okay?
1181
01:13:42,668 --> 01:13:46,672
-We'll be fine, won't we, little boy?
-I love Papa.
1182
01:13:46,839 --> 01:13:48,465
-All right. Bye.
-Okay.
1183
01:13:48,632 --> 01:13:50,843
Y'all have a good time, now.
I know we will.
1184
01:13:53,137 --> 01:13:54,847
Bye-bye.
1185
01:13:55,347 --> 01:13:59,518
We going to have a good time.
He's a nice little boy too. Yes, indeedy.
1186
01:13:59,685 --> 01:14:02,604
He's a cute little boy too.
Look at the little baby.
1187
01:14:02,771 --> 01:14:06,525
Yeah, he's a good little boy.
One, two, three.
1188
01:14:08,694 --> 01:14:11,029
Now, you come clean,
you little punk. Who are you?
1189
01:14:11,196 --> 01:14:13,949
Where you from? What you all about?
What is all this?
1190
01:14:17,536 --> 01:14:20,539
Look here, old man.
You been a real pain in my butt.
1191
01:14:20,706 --> 01:14:23,041
And you're right,
I did rob that jewelry store.
1192
01:14:23,208 --> 01:14:26,211
And now there's some
real bad people after me.
1193
01:14:26,378 --> 01:14:28,547
And the people you love
are gonna get hurt...
1194
01:14:28,714 --> 01:14:30,174
...if I don't get that diamond.
1195
01:14:30,340 --> 01:14:34,887
And I don't want that to happen,
so you better just stay out of my way.
1196
01:14:40,893 --> 01:14:43,562
Hey, yo, Percy, it's me.
Be here in a hour.
1197
01:14:43,729 --> 01:14:46,398
-I'll have the diamond then.
-How can you do this to us?
1198
01:14:46,982 --> 01:14:49,151
We took you in,
thought you were a child in need.
1199
01:14:49,318 --> 01:14:52,905
-You turn out to be a lowlife thief.
-Look, I didn't mean for it to go this far.
1200
01:14:53,071 --> 01:14:55,157
I was just trying
to get my diamond and be out.
1201
01:14:55,324 --> 01:14:59,411
-You ain't getting away with it.
-Then it's time to dance. Come on.
1202
01:15:00,621 --> 01:15:02,414
-Baby, I--
-Sweetheart...
1203
01:15:02,581 --> 01:15:04,583
...this means so much to me.
1204
01:15:04,750 --> 01:15:06,877
I know it's not real.
Look at the size of this.
1205
01:15:07,044 --> 01:15:09,046
There's no way
you could afford that, but....
1206
01:15:09,254 --> 01:15:13,759
Well, it's what the ring symbolizes
that makes it so special to me.
1207
01:15:13,926 --> 01:15:16,595
-Yeah, about that, baby. I didn't--
-Please. Let me finish.
1208
01:15:16,762 --> 01:15:20,933
Please. I know that you are
not the one who isn't ready. It's me.
1209
01:15:21,099 --> 01:15:23,685
I have always needed
for everything to fit my schedule.
1210
01:15:23,852 --> 01:15:27,231
And you have shown me that
sometimes life doesn't work that way.
1211
01:15:27,397 --> 01:15:31,276
It's unpredictable, and sometimes
you have to go with the flow and....
1212
01:15:31,443 --> 01:15:33,445
I'll never be ready
until it just happens.
1213
01:15:33,612 --> 01:15:36,907
-Vanessa, I just wanna tell you--
-I think that we should just do it.
1214
01:15:37,950 --> 01:15:39,576
Do what?
1215
01:15:39,785 --> 01:15:41,119
Let's adopt him.
1216
01:15:41,286 --> 01:15:43,789
Tomorrow let's take the baby
to Child Services...
1217
01:15:43,956 --> 01:15:45,249
...and start the paperwork.
1218
01:15:45,415 --> 01:15:46,959
You mean we can keep him?
1219
01:15:47,125 --> 01:15:49,044
-Yeah.
-Yes.
1220
01:15:50,295 --> 01:15:52,256
So, what did you wanna tell me?
1221
01:15:54,550 --> 01:15:55,551
Nothing.
1222
01:15:55,717 --> 01:15:57,553
Nothing at all. Let's-- Let's toast.
1223
01:15:58,053 --> 01:15:59,680
Okay.
1224
01:16:03,225 --> 01:16:04,977
You don't mess
with a man from Detroit.
1225
01:16:05,143 --> 01:16:06,311
I'm from Detroit.
1226
01:16:06,478 --> 01:16:08,647
The hell you doing?
1227
01:16:08,814 --> 01:16:10,732
-What's going on?
-Daddy, get off of him.
1228
01:16:10,899 --> 01:16:12,943
-Get off of the baby.
-Stop it.
1229
01:16:13,110 --> 01:16:14,611
Ain't no baby. That's a criminal.
1230
01:16:14,778 --> 01:16:17,948
I have had it with you.
I'm calling Whispering Glen.
1231
01:16:18,115 --> 01:16:19,366
Vanessa, I ain't crazy.
1232
01:16:19,533 --> 01:16:22,286
You see, I know what is
and I know what ain't is.
1233
01:16:22,452 --> 01:16:24,621
And he ain't is what he say he is.
1234
01:16:24,788 --> 01:16:26,999
You see, "is" is and "ain'ts" ain't.
1235
01:16:27,416 --> 01:16:29,126
Check the teddy bear.
The teddy bear.
1236
01:16:29,293 --> 01:16:30,752
Teddy bear knows.
1237
01:16:30,919 --> 01:16:33,630
-Come on, then. Please.
-We'll take good care of your father.
1238
01:16:33,797 --> 01:16:35,841
Whispering Glen is a safe facility.
1239
01:16:36,008 --> 01:16:38,093
Give him
a couple of days to adjust...
1240
01:16:38,260 --> 01:16:40,596
-Let me go.
-...and then come visit.
1241
01:16:48,687 --> 01:16:52,691
Vanessa, believe me.
"Is" is, "ain'ts" ain't.
1242
01:16:52,858 --> 01:16:54,860
Use the Taser if you have to.
1243
01:16:55,027 --> 01:16:56,486
Check the teddy bear.
1244
01:16:56,653 --> 01:16:58,155
The teddy bear.
1245
01:17:00,324 --> 01:17:02,200
I'm gonna go put him to bed.
1246
01:17:02,784 --> 01:17:04,328
Yeah.
1247
01:17:12,794 --> 01:17:13,795
Man.
1248
01:17:14,796 --> 01:17:18,175
How does one child turn a household
upside down in a weekend?
1249
01:17:18,550 --> 01:17:21,637
Look at this place. It's a mess.
1250
01:17:36,735 --> 01:17:38,570
Check the teddy bear.
The teddy bear.
1251
01:17:38,737 --> 01:17:40,280
Teddy bear knows.
1252
01:17:42,658 --> 01:17:44,242
Grandpa bad.
1253
01:17:44,409 --> 01:17:47,037
No. No, baby. No, no, no.
1254
01:17:47,204 --> 01:17:49,706
Papa's not bad.
He didn't mean to hurt you. He just--
1255
01:17:50,415 --> 01:17:53,543
He's a little.... Yeah.
1256
01:18:20,570 --> 01:18:23,281
Now, Iook here, oId man.
You've been a reaI pain in the butt.
1257
01:18:23,949 --> 01:18:26,201
And you're right,
I did rob that jeweIry store.
1258
01:18:26,368 --> 01:18:28,954
And now there's
a Iot of bad peopIe after me.
1259
01:18:29,121 --> 01:18:30,747
PeopIe you Iove
are gonna get hurt...
1260
01:18:30,914 --> 01:18:32,457
...if I don't get the diamond back.
1261
01:18:32,624 --> 01:18:33,917
Vanessa.
1262
01:18:34,084 --> 01:18:35,252
Vanessa.
1263
01:18:35,961 --> 01:18:38,505
-Where's Calvin?
-I put him in the cr--
1264
01:18:38,672 --> 01:18:40,924
-Where's the diamond?
-It was--
1265
01:18:41,758 --> 01:18:43,969
-Gone.
-Damn. Pops was right.
1266
01:18:44,136 --> 01:18:46,972
-I'm calling the police.
-I'm gonna get my dad.
1267
01:18:48,682 --> 01:18:49,808
Dad!
1268
01:18:49,975 --> 01:18:52,352
Yes, I have some information
on a stolen diamond.
1269
01:18:53,145 --> 01:18:54,688
That's what I'm talking about.
1270
01:18:54,855 --> 01:18:56,690
We did it. We rich, baby.
1271
01:18:58,608 --> 01:19:01,820
-Yes. Just in the nick of time.
-We blinging.
1272
01:19:01,987 --> 01:19:03,947
Walken and his goons
is going to that house.
1273
01:19:04,322 --> 01:19:05,574
-What?
-Don't worry.
1274
01:19:05,741 --> 01:19:07,701
He thinks Darryl's my partner.
1275
01:19:07,868 --> 01:19:10,787
You idiot. Walken will kill him
if he don't have his diamond.
1276
01:19:10,954 --> 01:19:14,166
Exactly. Which means
he won't be coming after you.
1277
01:19:14,332 --> 01:19:17,794
It's perfect. We get away scot-free.
1278
01:19:20,005 --> 01:19:21,548
This is the time you hit me, right?
1279
01:19:24,885 --> 01:19:26,428
Let me pull over.
1280
01:19:29,431 --> 01:19:32,726
Don't start beating me
like I'm a R & B singer, man.
1281
01:19:34,352 --> 01:19:37,481
Police is here. Hey.
1282
01:19:38,607 --> 01:19:40,650
Hey. Can I help you?
1283
01:19:40,817 --> 01:19:42,778
Is this the guy that
double-crossed Percy?
1284
01:19:42,944 --> 01:19:44,196
Yeah, that's the guy, boss.
1285
01:19:44,362 --> 01:19:47,532
I don't know anybody named Percy.
You must got the wrong guy.
1286
01:19:47,866 --> 01:19:50,327
-Cut the crap. I want my diamond.
-I don't have it.
1287
01:19:50,494 --> 01:19:53,121
Too bad. I guess we're gonna
have to beat it out of you.
1288
01:19:53,288 --> 01:19:56,041
I just called the police.
And they're on their way over here.
1289
01:19:56,374 --> 01:19:58,668
Really? That doesn't leave us
much time then.
1290
01:19:59,836 --> 01:20:02,506
-Take him.
-Wait, wait, wait. Wait, guys.
1291
01:20:04,132 --> 01:20:05,300
Dada?
1292
01:20:08,053 --> 01:20:09,721
Dada.
1293
01:20:10,597 --> 01:20:11,681
Who's this little guy?
1294
01:20:12,974 --> 01:20:14,559
That's my son.
1295
01:20:17,187 --> 01:20:18,230
Take him upstairs.
1296
01:20:20,148 --> 01:20:22,567
-I wanna talk to you.
-Cute kid.
1297
01:20:22,734 --> 01:20:25,403
It's-- Just-- I don't have--
Listen. That's my nipple.
1298
01:20:30,408 --> 01:20:31,535
Time to take a nap.
1299
01:20:31,701 --> 01:20:33,286
Night-night?
1300
01:20:33,453 --> 01:20:36,414
And don't worry about any loud noises
you may hear downstairs.
1301
01:20:36,581 --> 01:20:38,834
It's just us beating up your daddy.
1302
01:20:41,002 --> 01:20:42,587
Here you are.
1303
01:20:45,757 --> 01:20:47,926
Nighty-night.
1304
01:21:24,129 --> 01:21:25,463
Click.
1305
01:21:30,760 --> 01:21:33,305
Now tell me, where's my diamond?
1306
01:21:33,471 --> 01:21:34,806
I told you, I don't have it.
1307
01:21:34,973 --> 01:21:36,892
You don't tell me
where my diamond is...
1308
01:21:37,058 --> 01:21:40,687
...that cute little baby of yours
is gonna get hurt.
1309
01:21:47,110 --> 01:21:49,654
Moron, get the kid. Get the kid.
1310
01:21:51,364 --> 01:21:52,616
I want him.
1311
01:21:58,413 --> 01:21:59,873
There you are, little buddy.
1312
01:22:01,166 --> 01:22:02,542
Come on.
1313
01:22:02,709 --> 01:22:04,044
Come to Uncle Rosco.
1314
01:22:13,011 --> 01:22:14,638
Okay. Play nicey-nicey.
1315
01:22:44,501 --> 01:22:46,378
Okay, get your ass up.
1316
01:22:46,544 --> 01:22:49,506
Yeah, get up. I got you now.
1317
01:22:49,673 --> 01:22:51,216
Yeah. Yeah.
1318
01:22:52,050 --> 01:22:53,301
Ain't so tough now, are you?
1319
01:22:57,806 --> 01:22:59,474
Back up. Or I'll shoot you.
1320
01:22:59,891 --> 01:23:01,726
Shoot me, tough guy. Come on.
1321
01:23:04,396 --> 01:23:05,563
Oh, boy.
1322
01:23:05,730 --> 01:23:07,148
I'm surrounded by morons.
1323
01:23:07,649 --> 01:23:09,526
Here. You dropped your gun, sir.
1324
01:23:09,693 --> 01:23:12,153
Here you go. It's all yours.
1325
01:23:12,320 --> 01:23:14,197
-What are you gonna do?
-Wait, wait, I--
1326
01:23:14,364 --> 01:23:17,117
Come on, get out of here. Come on.
1327
01:23:21,579 --> 01:23:22,580
All right, dude.
1328
01:23:22,747 --> 01:23:27,252
You busted my Sergio da Vincis,
$62.50 designer frames.
1329
01:23:27,419 --> 01:23:30,422
Not cool. Not cool.
1330
01:23:30,922 --> 01:23:32,090
Okay, buddy.
1331
01:23:32,257 --> 01:23:34,676
We can either do this the easy way
or the hard way.
1332
01:23:35,510 --> 01:23:38,930
I think I like it the hard way.
1333
01:23:48,356 --> 01:23:49,858
Did we get him?
1334
01:23:50,567 --> 01:23:51,776
He's yours, man.
1335
01:24:00,076 --> 01:24:01,077
Dude...
1336
01:24:02,287 --> 01:24:04,122
...you just woke the dragon up.
1337
01:24:04,289 --> 01:24:05,957
Prepare for pain.
1338
01:24:06,124 --> 01:24:08,960
It's time for the dragon
to go back to sleep.
1339
01:24:20,972 --> 01:24:22,766
What are you doing?
1340
01:24:25,101 --> 01:24:27,979
-Stop.
-You going down, Sasquatch.
1341
01:24:28,146 --> 01:24:29,981
Better not.
1342
01:24:49,501 --> 01:24:51,044
What the hell is going on here?
1343
01:24:51,211 --> 01:24:52,754
That ain't no baby.
1344
01:24:52,921 --> 01:24:54,130
-Who else is here?
-Nobody.
1345
01:24:54,297 --> 01:24:56,674
-Who's here?
-Nobody, I swear.
1346
01:24:56,841 --> 01:24:58,426
Come on.
1347
01:24:58,593 --> 01:25:00,929
Inside. Inside.
1348
01:25:02,180 --> 01:25:03,389
There's the little monster.
1349
01:25:04,015 --> 01:25:05,975
Listen, what does he got there?
1350
01:25:06,351 --> 01:25:08,853
-It's an airplane.
-Tell him to get rid of the plane.
1351
01:25:10,188 --> 01:25:11,231
Get rid of it.
1352
01:25:12,524 --> 01:25:14,776
Calvin, throw the plane.
1353
01:25:24,869 --> 01:25:25,870
What are you doing?
1354
01:25:32,210 --> 01:25:33,837
Don't move.
1355
01:25:35,088 --> 01:25:36,756
Save it, tough guy.
1356
01:25:36,923 --> 01:25:39,050
You're not gonna shoot me.
1357
01:25:39,634 --> 01:25:40,885
But I will.
1358
01:25:42,720 --> 01:25:43,847
Freeze! Police!
1359
01:25:44,013 --> 01:25:45,431
Freeze! Police!
1360
01:25:45,598 --> 01:25:47,600
I got this. You check the house.
1361
01:25:48,726 --> 01:25:51,688
Black cops, come with me.
White lady, you stay here.
1362
01:25:51,896 --> 01:25:53,898
I'm telling you, guys,
that ain't no baby.
1363
01:25:54,065 --> 01:25:56,317
He's the mastermind
behind the whole thing.
1364
01:25:56,484 --> 01:25:58,027
Get him out of here.
1365
01:25:58,194 --> 01:26:00,738
He's a stone-cold killer, that kid.
1366
01:26:02,157 --> 01:26:03,658
Would you get this thing off me?
1367
01:26:03,825 --> 01:26:07,245
Relax. Where you're going,
you might want to keep that on.
1368
01:26:07,787 --> 01:26:09,581
I don't wanna go to jail.
1369
01:26:09,747 --> 01:26:11,833
It's too dark. There's no TV.
1370
01:26:16,796 --> 01:26:18,506
Hey, where you going, little guy?
1371
01:26:21,926 --> 01:26:23,761
Ain't this your kid?
1372
01:26:23,928 --> 01:26:24,929
Dada?
1373
01:26:26,431 --> 01:26:27,932
Yeah, that's my son.
1374
01:26:28,391 --> 01:26:30,351
Now, Calvin...
1375
01:26:30,518 --> 01:26:32,770
...don't you have something
for the nice policeman?
1376
01:26:34,439 --> 01:26:36,274
-No.
-Come on.
1377
01:26:36,441 --> 01:26:39,402
You don't wanna go to prison
with the rest of the bad men, do you?
1378
01:26:45,116 --> 01:26:46,242
There we go.
1379
01:26:46,409 --> 01:26:48,453
Hey, the diamond.
1380
01:26:48,620 --> 01:26:51,414
Thanks, kid. Now your dad's
gonna get a big reward.
1381
01:26:51,581 --> 01:26:53,917
-A reward?
-Yeah, the insurance company...
1382
01:26:54,083 --> 01:26:56,794
...offered $1 00,000
to whoever found the diamond.
1383
01:26:56,961 --> 01:26:58,546
A hundred thousand dollars?
1384
01:26:59,130 --> 01:27:00,632
God, that's gonna come in handy.
1385
01:27:00,798 --> 01:27:02,300
Shoot, I could get my car fixed...
1386
01:27:02,467 --> 01:27:04,219
...get a new wedding ring
for my wife...
1387
01:27:04,385 --> 01:27:07,722
...I could take a vacation,
buy a TV set--
1388
01:27:08,181 --> 01:27:10,099
And if there's
any change left over...
1389
01:27:10,266 --> 01:27:13,144
...I'll give a little something
to my son.
1390
01:27:13,478 --> 01:27:16,147
Right. Well, we'll be in touch.
1391
01:27:26,491 --> 01:27:27,659
So....
1392
01:27:27,909 --> 01:27:30,703
Oh, come on.
Let's not get all mushy about this.
1393
01:27:30,870 --> 01:27:33,831
Let's just shake hands
and part ways like men.
1394
01:27:33,998 --> 01:27:35,959
All right? No hard feelings?
1395
01:27:36,334 --> 01:27:38,753
-Nah, no hard feelings.
-All right.
1396
01:27:38,920 --> 01:27:41,798
Besides, it was kind of cool
having a son for a minute.
1397
01:27:41,965 --> 01:27:44,968
See? There you go
with all that sentimental stuff.
1398
01:27:45,843 --> 01:27:47,428
If that's the game you wanna play...
1399
01:27:47,595 --> 01:27:50,515
...I guess it was cool
having you as a fa--
1400
01:27:50,890 --> 01:27:52,058
Oh, boy.
1401
01:27:52,225 --> 01:27:56,312
What I'm trying to say is,
I've never really had a daddy.
1402
01:27:57,105 --> 01:27:58,398
I guess what I'm saying is...
1403
01:27:58,564 --> 01:28:00,733
...you're gonna make a great father,
all right?
1404
01:28:00,900 --> 01:28:02,652
There, I said it. Are you happy now?
1405
01:28:04,070 --> 01:28:05,905
Now, I'm gonna walk out
that back door...
1406
01:28:06,072 --> 01:28:09,867
...and you ain't gonna
see me no more. Ever.
1407
01:28:10,868 --> 01:28:12,620
-But--
-Oh, it hurts.
1408
01:28:12,787 --> 01:28:14,622
-We--
-I know.
1409
01:28:14,789 --> 01:28:16,291
We'll never see each other again.
1410
01:28:16,457 --> 01:28:18,751
-But we--
-Maybe that's for the best.
1411
01:28:18,918 --> 01:28:20,086
You'll start a family...
1412
01:28:20,253 --> 01:28:23,172
...and you won't need
a lowlife criminal like...
1413
01:28:23,339 --> 01:28:25,174
...Calvin Sims around anymore.
1414
01:28:25,341 --> 01:28:28,886
Actually what I was gonna say is,
we don't have a back door.
1415
01:28:29,053 --> 01:28:31,389
Okay, well, then I'll go out the front.
1416
01:28:32,265 --> 01:28:34,809
-Fine.
-Well....
1417
01:28:35,393 --> 01:28:39,814
I'll be out of your lives for good,
never to return again.
1418
01:28:40,398 --> 01:28:41,983
Cool.
1419
01:28:45,570 --> 01:28:46,988
So long.
1420
01:28:47,155 --> 01:28:50,700
Farewell. Oh, God.
1421
01:28:53,745 --> 01:28:57,081
Aren't you gonna miss me?
Just a little bit?
1422
01:28:57,248 --> 01:29:00,752
-See you around, buddy.
-No?
1423
01:29:01,336 --> 01:29:02,545
Take care.
1424
01:29:03,046 --> 01:29:04,672
Goodbye.
1425
01:29:04,839 --> 01:29:10,053
It's so hard to say goodbye
1426
01:29:24,400 --> 01:29:26,527
Why?
1427
01:29:27,320 --> 01:29:31,449
Nobody loves Calvin.
1428
01:29:31,616 --> 01:29:33,618
Because I'm short.
1429
01:29:34,619 --> 01:29:37,705
-They think I'm ugly.
-Hey, little man.
1430
01:29:38,623 --> 01:29:40,291
Wanna share a glass of milk?
1431
01:29:50,301 --> 01:29:53,096
Enough of all this girlie stuff.
This ain't Brokeback Mountain.
1432
01:29:54,222 --> 01:29:56,808
Hey, how about we put a little
bit of liquor in that milk?
1433
01:29:56,974 --> 01:29:58,768
Forget that. Let's go to a bar.
1434
01:29:58,935 --> 01:30:00,103
All right. Bet.
1435
01:30:00,269 --> 01:30:02,772
-Are you over 21 ?
-And then some.
1436
01:30:02,980 --> 01:30:04,482
All right.
1437
01:30:06,734 --> 01:30:08,861
Hey, I know this great strip club.
1438
01:30:09,320 --> 01:30:11,239
Don't say that loud.
My wife might get mad.
1439
01:30:11,406 --> 01:30:13,157
-Oh, sorry.
-Got change of a hundred?
1440
01:30:13,324 --> 01:30:15,660
-No, we steal it from Pops.
-All right. All singles.
1441
01:30:29,090 --> 01:30:31,843
You a cute little fellow.
Yes, you are.
1442
01:30:32,009 --> 01:30:34,762
Take after your mama.
You got a lot of grandpoppy in you too.
1443
01:30:34,929 --> 01:30:39,183
Yes, you do, little boy.
Look at the little boy.
1444
01:30:39,600 --> 01:30:41,352
Where's the bottle?
The kid is starving.
1445
01:30:41,519 --> 01:30:43,855
I'm coming. I'm coming. Old grouch.
1446
01:30:44,564 --> 01:30:45,857
Here he comes, little boy.
1447
01:30:46,023 --> 01:30:50,570
Don't worry.
We gonna get you some milk. Yeah.
1448
01:30:50,945 --> 01:30:53,197
That little guy's so cute...
1449
01:30:53,364 --> 01:30:55,533
...it's making me go soft.
1450
01:30:55,700 --> 01:30:58,035
He look just like his daddy.
1451
01:31:00,621 --> 01:31:03,124
Howdy-do, little boy.
110478
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.