Original subtitles

THE BOOK OF MARY

What do you think?

You'll escape routine if you're alone?

No, that's not it.

But I just can't stand this deal,

putting up with anything as long as we stay together.

You always come back to that.

Admit it you are so

afraid of being abandoned,

10

you're fleeing into loneliness.

You should know by now.

Since you're here

for once

let's be serious.

Seeing you is hardly a blessing now.

Even for Mary.

It's no good.

And I�ve had it.

I can't work, I can't sleep.

I see, if we separate you'll sleep again?

You see how brutal you are?

You're brutal too, in your way.

You won't face up to things.

Listen Paul, you�ve cheated on the contract from the start.

You can't brush that off.

I think it takes constant inventiveness to succeed.

In your line of work, you've lots of time for that.

It doesn't interest you, that's all.

So we play it safe and stay together.

What does that do for the child?

Loving's not investing.

You can save too,

not just give, or expect everything from one person.

The way you've set things up, you could talk that way.

You're never here.

I spent much more time at home.

I put a lot in and get little back.

We've been over this so often.

What other way is there?

Before you

didn't work, you took care of Mary.

But now we're closer to an even footing.

I don't agree.

I'm still here for serving, caring for things.

That's a mother's job, not a woman's.

I am tired.

Things have got to change for a while.

You're so impatient.

May be.

What I know now is...

that I don't need to be dominated to feel understood.

I no longer need to lose.

I don't see where that gets you either.

I don't know.

I want to see clearly.

I wish you understood.

Understanding's scarce.

Truth is often deadly. Your truths are fatal,

So don't complain afterwards.

I'm not complaining, just trying to see clearly.

Why is everyone so scared...

...of clarity?

Your eyes hurt?

No, I'm alright.

I don't need your total sincerity.

It's comforting, but not interesting.

Let's not start again.

No, let's not.

But try to understand sometimes.

For 10 years we've copied.

Now I want to invent.

No one's stopped you.

Anyway, women don't invent much.

Even the soul was invented by a man.

You're really encouraging.

You don't need encouragement now.

We can see how well you do on your own.

Good morning! We continue with our operation.

Now we cut the eye in half.

It's black, if you can see that.

I put this inside, it's the pupil.

The pupil, seen from outside, magnified, of course,

is brown.

The eye is enormous,

but the pupil takes up a lot of space.

The rest is water.

Water, yes.

The pupil floats like a baby in the belly of its mother.

When you look at things, it's because of the pupil,

because it floats,

and when we move

as you see, it shifts.

Understand what I�m saying?

It's complicated, a bit technical.

Yes, it's mechanical and technical

and at the same time surgical.

You operate once for this illness.

If you do it twice, the patient dies.

In any case the eye withers.

It's a very serious operation.

Yes, I entirely agree there.

You undergo it after you've almost been sick.

Because this gentleman, you see his eye,

has been completely... shaken, see?

It's had a shock.

The eye's been completely terrorized,

so...

we can't do much for it.

Well, that's all for this program.

Good bye.

Spoken to Mary?

Not yet,

but I'll speak to her, of course.

And you'll have to tell her what keeps you so far from her,

and from me.

You've thought of what it'll mean to her,

shuttling between parents?

Stop talking as if it was all my doing.

Silence, please.

My spirit with a heavy fear forebodes

In black battalions, stray ghosts ride

Driving me on to moving roads

closed in by bloodied skies on every side.

How strange and wicked was our act?

Can you explain my trouble and my fright?

Silence!

I said, silence!

Who can tell me...

...what Baudelaire meant to express in this poem?

If you weren't asleep, that is.

Get out your notebooks, I'll give you some dictation.

Hurry! We have other things to do.

My spirit with a heavy fear forebodes...

Heavy fear,

black battalions,

with two "t's",

and stray ghosts...

Silence!

Yes?

Mary, I have something to tell you.

All right.

Go on. And make sure you've made no spelling errors.

I have to talk to the principal.

I'm sure you know what it is.

Dad's going to live elsewhere. Not for a long time.

Until winter, for example.

Right. To continue:

that seek to lead me on shifting ways...

Mary!

You'll see dad on weekends and holidays.

Anyway, it's not for long.

Have we committed a strange act? Explain if...

It's not that we don't love each other any more.

On the contrary.

But if he stays here we'll quarrel.

There's no cause to worry. I'd tell you if there were.

Believe me, you can trust me.

Why don't you want us to go to Capri?

Because you're an ass.

You scare me, Paul.

I've arrived earlier than I predicted. Do you need help?

Don't just stand there, answer me!

No, not necessary.

I'll just take two or three things. Won't be long.

I'm in a hurry, Mary.

You go to Capri, Paul.

See you Saturday,

OK?

Tell me...

...about when I was little.

Again!

Go ahead.

You seem especially fond of hearing that.

You're right.

It's the strongest memory of love.

It's hard to recover that strength

without going backward.

It is thus.

You just have to be able to give and accept.

I'll prepare something to eat. See you downstairs.

Dry your hair well.

Mary!

Hello.

Hello.

What's up?

I'm taking a train.

Where are you going?

To see my father.

Doesn't he live here?

Not right now.

- Your folks divorced? - No, they're not.

- Is it your bear? - Yes.

In any case...

I am glad my parents are not divorced.

You have no luck.

That's enough.

Hello, Mimi.

My name's not Mimi, it's Mary.

Where you going, Mimi?

To see my father.

That's right, he's gone away.

It's good for him, a little...

It's no big deal.

Of course not.

and you can travel with your bear, so it's no trouble.

It's not a bear, it's a panther.

Certainly, you're right.

I'm a dumbbell about animals, I don't know.

And where do you go?

Passing the time. I'm on relief.

I'm not working these days.

I stay at home. I have a lot of housework,

I like my place to be clean, you see.

- Get bored? - Not at all, because...

I study my own case.

And I have my afternoons programmed. I go out...

...on my bike, my moped, whatever you want to call it.

It takes me everywhere.

I get back at 7 or 9 in the evening.

If the weather is good, I tike my time,

I stop where I please.

Forever damned be the feckless dreamer

who, in his stupidity, first strove,

enamored of an insoluble and sterile problem

to mix honesty with love.

Have you studied triangles?

We've just started.

I have to know the 4 types for Monday.

Know what a jagged line is?

One that changes direction.

Yes, but how?

By forming angles.

And an angle?

It's when the lines close.

And when they meet?

That's the vertex.

Also called an intersection.

An angle's like this.

Yes, but also like this.

No, it's like this.

To get that, you first need this.

All right.

There are 4 kinds of triangles.

The right-angle triangle,

It looks like this.

The side opposite the right angle is the hypotenuse.

The equilateral triangle

is the one that has three equal sides.

The isosceles triangle

You listening, Mary?

The isosceles has two equal sides

and the scalene has three unequal sides.

Draw them, helps you to remember them.

Are you hungry?

Yes, terribly.

Want a bite?

That the concerto I liked so much?

Yes, that's the one.

Don't recognize it?

Oh, yes.

No, not really, in fact.

Sounds like talk, don't you think?

People in a discussion.

Agreeing or disagreeing?

A bit of both.

Changes of mod, icy, exasperated,

I demand.

fire, fire, attention, error, horror, suffering...

Hey, calm down.

There's a Mahler symphony I can't find.

Ask mom for it next time.

OK.

Mary, bring your pajamas, too.

and don't forget your toothbrush again.

We've got to go now. It's time.

You ready?

What?

Mary.

Come, Mary.

Are you dead or just tired?

I am dead.

But everything that happens should interest you.

You are so curious.

You surprise me.

It's not like before.

Nothing can stay the same.

It becomes,

It becomes,

It becomes different.

When a thing stops moving,

it's dead.

You must have confidence, Mary.

Sure, still, it's not like before.

In French, Mary is "Marie". Know what it makes?

What?

A-I-M-E-R : to love.

Ah, yes.

You're beautiful! Your dress is beautiful!

We'll be late. We must be going.

The hairdo becomes you.

Think so? It's not my favourite.

You're darling, really.

I'll leave you the number.

If something comes up, call. Anyway I won't be home late.

Don't forget tomorrow. I get to go out.

I haven't forgotten.

We should've gone already.

I have to go, dear.

Don't watch TV too late.

I'll kiss you when I come in.

Good bye.

It would be killing the unification of Europe in the egg.

This business must be smothered,

in the egg.

Can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.

So I don't know.

I don't know what to say.

Get lost!

It's the only way.

AT THAT Time

HAIL MARY

Out of my mouth is shit.

Stop talking.

Then you stop eating.

AT THAT TIME

With you, silence can be unbearable.

We can get married, if you like.

I'm not afraid.

Maybe that could help us.

I wonder...

What?

All women want something unique.

Can't you see I�m not listening?

You know,

Men think they enter a woman.

AT THAT TIME

How are you doing with Mary?

That's my business.

That's my business.

Listen Mary,

when there's a break-out, move fast.

I wondered if some event would happen in my life.

I've had only the shadow of love,

in fact, the shadow of a shadow,

like the reflection of a water-lily in a pond,

not quite, but shaken by the ripples in the water,

so that even the reflection is deformed and not yours...

Nevertheless,

So the sun, visible at last,

began to shine on the primeval oceans

and then, it's said, life appeared

entirely by chance.

There was hydrogen, nitrogen...

AT THAT TIME

What if it wasn't chance?

100 times that of the universe?

What does that mean?

That there was never time.

chance had no time.

Since life hadn't time to appear

On earth!

then it came from elsewhere,

from space.

We wonder what an extra-terrestrial looks like.

Go to a mirror and look at yourself.

OK,

It's just a hypothesis, but...

Look at this dip.

It can only be explained...

...by something in this cloud intercepting light...

...at a specific wavelength.

There's a bacteria,

of a very common sort,

that absorbs light at 3,4 microns.

That's its signature.

Any body, inert or alive,

leaves its special mark on the electric field.

In my opinion,

this establishes

a very strong presumption

that life exists in space.

We're from there.

We are extraterrestrials.

we weren't born in an amino acid soup.

suddenly, by chance.

No deal,

The figures say "no".

What if it wasn't chance?

Exactly.

The astonishing truth is

that life was

willed,

desired, anticipated, organized, programmed by a determined intelligence.

Eve, stand behind Pascal.

My name's Eva.

Yes, stand behind Pascal and cover his eyes.

They say it'd take 1.35 trillion years...

to find the solution blindfolded, but

if there's someone beside you who can see,

and says no to every wrong move,

and yes to every move toward a solution

at the rate of one move per second,

how long is needed?

2 minutes.

From 1.35 trillion years to 2 minutes.

That's what happened.

Memory!

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

No.

Yes.

Yes.

No. No.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes, yes.

Yes, yes. No. Yes.

Were you exiled for these ideas?

These... and others.

See you Monday.

Is the law of falling bodies because life fell from the sky?

Yes, good bye.

Well!

Coming!

Like a drink at my place one evening?

That's another story.

Your shoe, your shoe!

The question is if this creature called man ever existed.

The man as he appears in legends...

...is nothing more than a figment of the popular imagination.

While there are Bourbons in Spain there'll be no piece.

That's not your line, Uncle Gabriel!

Right!

- Straight ahead! -Where's that?

Here's $500.

No, it's closed.

How about there?

No, there should be a house alongside.

What are you looking for?

Here!

Stop at this station.

No, no.

Here's $500, for God's sake.

We'll be back!

You've a daughter, Mary?

- What's it about? - Mary...

She's here!

For God's sake!

Mary, help!

- Mary! - Mary!

Why are you here? We said Saturday.

Don't, dad, it's Joseph.

They brought me here.

I'm sick of your tricks.

Forget it!

OK, what is it?

It's you, Mary.

It's you, Mary.

What do you want?

and you?

and you?

What do you want?

What do you want?

And you, my lady?

Your fianc�e?

What's it to you?

We couldn't care less. But you're going to have a child.

By whom?

- You'll have a baby. - I sleep with no one.

Mary, shit,

who are these people?

Go on! Straight ahead! Here's $500.

By whom?

It won't be his, never!

By whom?

Don't play innocent!

By whom?

Mary.

Mary, be pure, be rough. Follow thy way.

My way!

but the voice or the word?

Don't be silly!

I know where you're going and soon you will too.

Don't forget!

Don't forget, what goes in, goes out.

And what goes out, goes in!

I am tired, shall we stop?

We each go on,

and each of us attains what he can reach.

It's the last verse written by H�lderlin.

The last verse of earth.

Gracious.

Those ants are strictly the invisible man.

I swear it was here!

You never find ants near water.

Wrong. Some ants seek gold.

I read Scientific American too.

What about these ants?

Olivier found an anthill.

He rigged wiring to warm the ants in winter.

He wanted to keep them awake,

in winter,

hoping they'd use that leisure time,

- to invent things. - What?

Music, maybe.

There's no escape.

What's this? Miracles don't exist.

Kiss me.

What's it all these? What's it?

There's no escape...

...for us.

AT THAT TIME

Let's go on with our story;

Imagine...

...our descendants in 8 million years, 100 million.

Their wisdom and knowledge are unimaginable today.

They suddenly notice

that the supposedly fixed balance of the universe

is subtly changing.

Won't our descendants try to preserve life?

Kiss me.

I kiss you, I do.

- Just once, Mary. - You should trust me.

A prior intelligence programmed life.

It struggled to exist

in a pitiless universe. It preserved life.

AT THAT TIME

How'd you think of it?

Because of computers.

When I think about it,

that computer intelligence stuns me.

If our distant descendants

decided to encode,

life as they know it

in a message of magnesium,

or boron,

or God knows what,

wouldn't they try to transmit the secret

of Creation?

Maybe the message has always been clear.

Yes, that voice deep in our consciences

whispers, if we listen:

you're born of something, somewhere else, in heaven.

Seek and you will find more

than you dream of.

Come to see the princess?

You can't fall any lower.

Who asked you?

Do I tell him to come?

Leave me alone.

Mary!

Why not tell the truth?

I am telling it!

Maybe the words come out wrong,

or it's my voice,

but it's the truth.

It'd be simpler if you said

you've seen other men.

I sleep with no one.

So where's the child from?

Where'll it come from?

Answer me.

Look at me!

I'm looking at you.

Child must come from somewhere

For two years now I can't touch you, why?

- Kiss me! - I do not know, Joseph.

By God! It's incredible.

Call or stop by the theatre.

- Please kiss me. - Not that way.

I do kiss you, really.

You must be sleeping around. It's the only answer.

Guys with big cocks!

We're through, Mary,

Ciao.

Hi, you here too?

I keep dreaming. Can't sleep. It wears me out.

Last night, before I went home,

I dreamed I had to paint the whole building.

I thought: that'll take time.

That'll take time. I couldn't sleep.

Must be a reason. You should make notes.

Yes, but I can't write, so I draw.

If it's a picture, you can't forget.

I must learn to write,

if I want to forget.

- That's it. Your dad well?

Yes, thanks.

Still pumping gas?

He wants out.

You getting married soon?

Broken up with Joseph?

He seemed serious.

Esther, the dossier of madam Malignon.

What's wrong, Mary?

I've got a pain!

In the belly.

We'll have a look.

Take her blood pressure, Esther.

Go next door and undress. Be right there

Yes?

No.

Yes. No, not and no.

If you put on weight,

you'll be fine.

Does the soul have a body?

What do you mean, young lady, the body has a soul.

I thought it was the opposite.

Doctor!

Doctor, I must be pregnant.

When was your last period?

Take off your panties and lie down there.

It's no use.

What?

I didn't hear you.

I've always wondered what we know about a woman,

and I found that all you can know

is what a man already knew.

There's a mystery there.

Do you want this child?

Is it with Joseph?

It wasn't with anybody.

Some song and dance! Lie down.

It's no song and dance. I'm happy.

Now tell about your period.

I must examine you, if you say it hurts.

It came normally, very intense.

- When? - Friday.

Then quit being stupid. It's nothing.

See for yourself! I haven't slept with anyone.

I touch no one.

Nobody caresses me.

I want you to see if my baby's already there.

You're hiding something from us.

I'm not, I tell you.

You see.

I'm going to have a baby and I haven't slept with a man.

Joseph won't believe it.

You tell him.

Lie still!

Will you hurt me?

Don't be afraid..

I was there when you were born.

Being a virgin should mean

being available

or free,

not being hurt.

Well, do you believe me?

do you believe me?

It's true that it's true.

Tell Joseph.

Esther!

May I get dressed?

It must be mine.

where to now?

Paradise villa, Hermance road.

I quit work at 5 p.m.

Sure, that's OK.

Is it in France?

It's very close, you'll see.

It's as pretty as Czechoslovakia.

Well?

Well!

Yet I rejoiced in giving my body to the eyes...

of Him who has become my Master forever,

and glanced

at this wonderful being.

For in truth, He was that, then and always,

not for his looks nor what he did,

but in the silent power of what he was,

the power gathered up in him, vast as a mountain on the sky

as unamonta�aque raises haciael sky

that you can't measure or name,

but only feel.

Tonight?

No, I�ve a practice session.

OK, i'll go jump in the lake!

Oh, jump in the lake?

Ophelia's no role for you.

What are you talking about?

"To be or not to be..." Don't know it?

I had to quit school when I was 12.

Sorry.

I must go.

OK, i'll go jump in the lake!

No, stop it!

Yes?

Andrea.

What's on your mind?

Night changes its own look and meaning.

Heidegger, "Three Lectures...

in the Bavarian Akademie".

- Winter of 59. - Yes.

Know whay he wasn't shot?

As soon as we talk politics, you clam up.

It's OK, Andrea, you can leave.

It'certain, isn't it?

I think politics today...

must be the voice of horror.

The voice, but the way or the word?

The voice of horror, of which nothing can be said.

Can I put this on?

what's it?

You can't find that in Prague.

You OK?

A smoke, a sax solo, that's all a man wants.

I often wonder that in music...

What?

We marvel at a new phrase, but,

really, there could be nothing.

This is the time.

And the place.

Yes?

No, not tonight.

Not tonight.

I think the spirit acts on the body, breathes through it,

veils it to make it fairer than it is.

For what is flesh...

...alone?

I habe business. I'll be in late. Write down the punp figures.

Yes, dad.

What is flesh...

...alone?

You may see it and feel only disgust.

You may see it in the gutter, drunken,

or in the coffin, dead.

The world is as full of flesh as a grocer's counter

is full of candles at the start of winter.

But not until you've brought a candle home

and lit it

can it give you comfort.

Come on.

Don't you like my body?

That's not it.

Then what?

Joseph!

It's because of her.

I don't know.

It's making me sick. I don't know.

I know, it's her.

It always is...

Mary.

I'm a real woman, too.

Yes.

I'd like to love you, but I don't know how.

Let's go home.

Come on.

I'm comimg.

You're complicating things,

don't you think?

If God exists, nothing's allowed.

- How? - If God exists, nothing

is allowed.

What are you doing with that tramp?

No, uncle Gabriel. Not like that!

When he's around, I forget my lines! It's awful.

He's a real nothing. Got the list?

What list?

He wants to know everything.

Like everyone.

He doesn't even know how to walk his dog.

Like everyone.

He's scared of the hole.

Like everyone.

He has no taste in ties.

- Yes, zero equals zero. - He lacks trust.

That's no fault.

What's the common denominator between zero and Mary?

Mary's body.

- Answer, nitwit. - Dunno.

He wears blind man's glasses, the dolt.

Try and follow the movement...

Not with your hand, your eyes!

She'll make a fool of me!

Look me in the eyes.

- If some guy's knocked her up... - we are not "some guy".

I don't get it.

Have trust!

Trust!

I have none left.

And love, you jerk!

Love...

I'm going, ciao.

I've come.

What's wrong? Your eyes again?

- What's the book? - It's for you.

Into the maze of life goes the dashing young man,

with the best horse, the finest armour and the most beautiful clothes.

to be knight, lord, a great prince, he wants it all.

But someone unseen awaits him without weapon, title or pride : God!

Thanks a lot.

Don't want it?

I prefer mine.

Would've been a change.

I'll pass it up.

He's funny, he calls the rain "Sister Rain",

and the fire, "Brother Fire".

And the body?

What about the body?

The body...

The body...

The body, "Brother Donkey".

Why does my body repel you? Don't say "I kiss you, I do".

I'm scared, too.

All this doen't happen every day.

So I am a bit scared.

One's better as a pair...

Whay don't you believe the spirit affected the body?

I believe the opposite.

That scares me.

At least say you don't love me.

I can't stand this silence.

Brother Silence.

I know you love me. But it has to be something else.

You don't care if we see each other, or if I�m sick or dead..

Am I alive?

Maybe I can only harm you.

I don't understand,.

I don't understand it.

Mary.

Are a great secret,

It's a big secret.

My love...

we don't know how to say it,

So immense

that all is consumed

and you'll leave me.

Anyway, I must know.

Know what?

The hand of god is upon me and you cannot interfere.

What now?

I must go home.

There was no point in coming.

You body's not the snag, but it's your lack of trust!

Why can't I want the child to be mine?

Tell me who you did it with,

I don't care, if you stay with me,

if I stay with you, sleep with you, wake up with you.

And Juliette?

I don't love her. I love you.

Very well.

Look.

Give me your hand.

Come on, by God.

There, feel.

You see, I�m sleeping with no one.

But i'll still have a child. You must believe it.

I'll only be your shadow.

God's shadow... Isn't that what all men are...

...for a woman who loves her man.

Let the soul be body...

Then no one can say the body is soul, since the soul shall be body...

Thy will be done...

Yes, she's married.

Then excuse me. Good bye, lady.

Lady...

Who is it? I received your letter.

So basketball's like that.

Fatigue, victory,

fatigue.

What did you mean by :

"That's not enough".

You said you could see I loved you.

Yes.

I see it.

But you said that's not enough.

You'll find something.

What do you do all day now?

Talk to me.

It's unbelievable, he never comes.

I've waited for 4 days,

I fixed the motor, put in a phone and video.

It's all working.

He phones to say he's coming but by evening he hasn't shown up.

Rich folks are weird.

AT THAT TIME

- Which one is it? - The big white one there.

AN THAT TIME

- Can I go see it? - Yes.

We're getting married, can I see you naked...

...just once.

I'll only loook.

Yes...

You'll look.

It's been ages since I�ve had a...

...normal conversation.

Yet nature prevails.

I want to talk, like others.

Because, though I hide it, I'm in pain, like others.

Even a bit more.

They'll wrest from me that which I dare not give.

You'll act chastely with me.

Don't take from someone who enver took from you.

To be chaste is to know every possibility,

without ever straying.

That's an impossible task.

To acomplist it, one has to admit...

that the stars we see at night

are vast worlds located very far from ours

and everybody knows

that the stars are just lamps hanging from the sky

most of which are very close to us.

For us may be the best explanation

of our origins is this idea of another world

located farther in space.

It is only, he said,

a legendary deformation of Horla's idea of the world

whose dogs knew of it since ancient times.

Go, Arthur.

The time has come.

I'll go see the boss lady.

This time I think we've won.

I no longer wish to understand.

Does it matter what I am or am not?

No, not already.

We can't escape one another any more than...

...we can escape him.

Mary, what are you doing?

Mary stop it!

Joseph.

Joseph.

Joseph.

Tell me you love me.

- I love you! - No!

I love you.

No.

No.

- I love you. - No.

But Maria, I love you.

No, no, no.

But why?

Why?

Because!

Because it is law.

- Got it? - Yes.

I will sacrifice myself.

Asshole!

First, a hole is not a hole.

And second: Taboo wipes out sacrifice.

But why?

Because he is the rule!.

Joseph,

I love you.

Mary.

No.

Yes.

Is that, I love you?

Yes.

Are that it?

- That? - Yes.

I love you.

Yes.

Suddenly a light shone in my heart,

warm and gentle as a glowing fire...

What on earth, or even heaven,

beats knowing you please the one you love, and who is your master.

I remember what he said about sin

as we watched the dragonflies:

if you thought of it rightly, it just wasn't there.

It disappears like the covers of dragonflies

when they fight for their freedom.

We are speaking

His word.

Mary.

How else can we be close...

to his word than by speaking it?

Mary.

Yes, what?

We're speaking

and we're speaking of the word

What we're speaking of, the word, is always ahead of us.

Then you won't leave me?

I'll stay.

I'll never touch you.

I'll stay.

Don't believe the dollar will drop.

Don't believe the vacation will be fun.

You can believe rain falls downward.

It's a law of nature.

The world is too sad!

It isn't sad, it's big.

I must go.

Don't I count for you?

My wife and son count too.

Now that I�ve a visa, I must go see what's going on, no?

Undestand?

Till how much do your wife and son count?

I don't get it.

Bastard!

I'm sorry.

Doesn't matter.

You say your wife's in jail, and you sleep with me.

- Eve, please. - Eva.

It's all over with Eve. Go on, beat it, since it's what you want.

Give me back my 32,000 francs.

I'll send it to you.

You really are a nothing.

What makes a soul is its pain.

He'll be the first to hear my pain for them.

And he told me:

Daughter, I�m suffocating to see you suffocate.

God's a creep, a coward who won't fight, who counts

on ass alone, that is, on a quiet heart, for existance

an excess of ingress.

I want no carnal joy:

I don't want to wear out my heart in one go,

or my soul, in one go.

Even pain won't get me in one gone.

and I will not disappear

into it,

but it will disappear with me.

It will always be horrible

for me to be the master,

but there'll be no more sexuality in me.

I'll know the true smile of the soul,

not from outside,

but from inside.

Like a pain that's always deserved.

It's not a matter of experience, but of total disgust, total hatred.

and not of morality or dignity.

It's necessary

that the Father and Mother must fuck to death over my body.

Then Lucifer will die,

and we'll see...

We'll see who's weariest,

him,

or me.

Earth and sex are in us.

Outside there are only stars.

Wanting isn't expanding by force.

It's recoiling into oneself

from level...

...to level, for eternity.

You don't need a mouthhole to eat with...

and an asshole to swallow infinity.

Your ass must go in your head

and so descend to ass level,

then go left,

or right, to rise higher.

God is a vampire who suffered me in him...

...because I suffered and he didn't,

and he profited from my pain.

Mary is a body fallen from a soul,

I am a soul imprisoned by a body.

My soul makes me sick at heart, and it's my cunt...

I am a woman...

...though I don't beget my man through my cunt.

I am joy.

I am she who is joy,and need no longer fight it,

or be tempted,

but to gain an added joy.

I am not resigned,

resignation is sad.

How can one be resigned to god's will?

Are we resigned to being loved?

This seemed clear to me.

Too clear.

AT THAT TIME

AT THAT TIME

oh, Mary, what a strange road...

...I had to take to reach you.

Now what's wrong?

Here thay are!

Do you believe it now?

Will he call Joseph "dad"?

What'll you do?

Tell him later that's not his father?

That's life.

Joseph.

I came about the station.

We'll talk about it.

I figured it out, I can pay it back in two years.

Sure.

- Yes. - No.

Dad, Joseph.

Thank you very much, Mary.

And why?

For every woman.

How did he look? What was he like?

There are no looks...

...in love, no outward seeming,

no likeness.

No, only our hearts will tremble in the light.

I can't describe him as he stood there,

but I can tell you how the women looked on seeing him.

Come with me.

Come with me.

What's your name?

Fabian.

Now you name's Peter. And what's your name?

Florent.

From now on your name's James.

What's my name?

Where's my coffee? I'm late.

Where's my coffee. Where's my coffee.

Juniors'd be better be nice this morning.

Or we won't play whale tonight.

Please, mom,

let's play whale!

What's that called?

The hedgehog, or the lawn.

What's that called?

Bells.

What's that called?

Loaves, bread...

He's too old to see you naked now.

"Quia respexit", Joseph.

Some day, you know,

he who is your father may forget you.

Then you'll regret I�m not around.

Look at me!

I am He who is.

Quit clowning! Get in!

No!

I must tend to my father's affairs.

By God, we'll see about that.

Stop it!

Stop it!

He'll be back.

When?

At Easter.

or Trinity Sunday.

Lady...

Hello, lady!

What is it?

Nothing. Hail, Mary.

I am of the Virgin,

and I didn't want this being.

I only left my imprint on the soul that helped me.

That's all.