Original subtitles

What has man done all his life? Focussed on wealth.

Hung up only on wealth!

A clean body, a pure mind!

Aren't those yours to keep?

With wealth, it's not the same.

Today you possess it, tomorrow someone else does,

- the day after, another one! - Chant!

Aum!

Salutations to Lord Vasudeva!

Has anyone come in, yet?

You are no good.

No one, yet.

Then what are you staring at me for? Get cracking.

- Come on! - Welcome!

Please visit the Lord!

Get to know the Holy Gita in a gist!

Visit the Lord and learn about the Holy Gita!

Visitors!

He's very well-known in the city. He only needs a chance.

I tell you, both of you complement each other.

- Greetings, sir! - Greetings.

He is an organiser.

- Lord Vishnu is the absolute Truth! - Absolutely, sir!

- What is the deal? - Don't worry.

You'll be rewarded, generously!

How can he afford that?

Sir, do you remember during the Holi festival last year...

- At Dhauli Pyau? - There was a shootout at Dhauli Pyau.

- You shot someone? - No.

- This boy did. - Hello.

I only gave orders.

Right, only orders!

Also, the Chandi and Sons incident.

- Sons, who? - Their son was kidnapped.

You did that?

- This boy. - Hello.

- Sir, I only... - Issued orders!

- What are your orders for me? - Sir...

It's only a small request.

Your golden words should be heard in every house.

- Yes. - That's a delightful thought!

He wants your discourses to be heard all over India!

- So? - Brilliant. Now, what's the catch?

What's the catch?

Actually, I must work on my image.

I'm contesting the elections.

He's eyeing the devotees!

You're right.

- Devotee, voters! - Show me your feet!

- Touch his feet! - He is disconnecting the power supply!

Quit it, or I'll break your skull!

Shut up!

- He's cutting off the wires. - How dare you!

- How can you cut off the electric cable? - Why? Don't you hear him?

He won't budge. Take the ladder off.

- Sir, what are you doing? - Let him scream!

- I'll fall! - Place it here.

- You'll get the ladder after you fix it! - I'll fall! Put it back!

- He does it every day! - This is obstruction of official duty.

We don't want the Government that cuts off our electricity cables!

- Of course! - I'm going to fall! Please!

Help me!

- What the hell! Give me the ladder! - Reconnect the cable and take it!

Pay the electricity bill first.

Smartass!

- Shameless man! - You'll get me into trouble!

Rogue!

- You're taking me for granted. - Who can take you for granted?

- You're the District Collector's father. - Don't worry!

He'll make that grade soon.

Bulaki, tell them, religion and politics don't mix.

Listen! You need not worry.

I'll find a trusted learned man,

who actually knows the Gita and the Ramayana. This one's a moron.

- He is no good. - Cut the crap!

Hey, take it out.

- What are you doing? - And that one too!

- Let me keep that, at least. - Stand straight!

You get nothing, sucker!

Don't do that! Are you mad at me?

There's nothing to worry. Bulaki is with you!

Bulaki, are you a friend or an agent?

What?

Girdharilal Sharma, had you agreed to help him,

we'd be counting notes every day!

- Really? - Absolutely!

Let's learn about mercy. The quality of mercy.

Do you know who wrote the poem?

Anyone else?

What happened? All okay?

They've cut off the electricity.

How much is it?

- It's 4,676. - What?

It's 4,676.

Why didn't you pay the bills?

I'll speak to the head. Please leave now.

Go!

Live in the dark!

Who are you telling that?

Not to you. The one whom it's meant for, is listening.

Give me the hot water bag.

Do you even know there's no electricity since morning?

Or, are you like Him?

He hasn't obliged me for what little I asked for!

What did I ask for?

Was it too much?

All I wanted You to do, was share Your devotees.

Had You sent some over, I would've kept the discourses going.

- Let them see! We're getting married. - But we aren't married yet!

It'll happen soon! No big deal.

Careful.

- Bye. - Listen, Radha.

One day, I'll carry you home from here.

Oh, let it be!

Okay! I'm coming tomorrow to finalise it!

Come on! Finalise it right away!

- Her father might send her with you. - Get lost!

- Sir! - Diya, come on!

You're talking too much, windbag! Wait till I get married!

You're turning into a blabbermouth!

You have millions of devotees! Why don't You give me some?

It's been 25 years, but You couldn't do that!

Sister is here! We'll have tea!

Take this along.

My dear, give me the hot water bag.

- Didn't father give it to you? - No, dear!

Girdhari has taken God to court!

Hear that? I have only one appeal to make.

Help me start a monastery.

I'll take you to the Bengali doctor.

No way! That doc won't touch me!

- Why not? - His payments are pending.

We've never paid him. He asks me about it every day.

- See? - I'll get the hot water bag.

Get it soon, dear.

I'll take your leave.

- Where are you going? - I'm going to bed.

Massage my feet.

How are you feeling now?

- What? - Your health?

- He is asking about your health. - Health!

- He's asking about health. - You look fit and fine!

Gosh, he's asking about your health!

Mine? By the grace of God, I'm okay!

- Good! - And that one, sitting there...

Don't worry.

Have some sweets. I've got them especially for you.

Don't be so hasty.

It's the last time, I'm visiting you.

The 21st of this month is a very auspicious day.

This time, the wedding will surely take place on the 21st.

Praise God!

The 21st?

I haven't had breakfast yet. I'll faint if you insist on the date.

I'd say, Gopal, get a pair of garlands.

Exchange them and the marriage is done.

If it was only about exchanging garlands, it wouldn't have taken so long.

- Give it to me. - What is it?

Here's the first card.

- The 2nd of February. - Gopal weds Radha.

The second card.

- The 25th of August. - Gopal weds Radha.

The third card.

- The third card! - 2nd of March.

Gopal weds Radha. And this one!

6th of December. Gopal weds Radha again.

You'll destroy their lives!

We've been printing cards for the last two years.

You tell me. Who owns the shop at Holi Gate

that sells the best asafoetida in town?

Nandlal Jhol's only son-in-law!

And, this is Nandlal Jhol's only grandson.

- We're talking about you! - Exactly!

Are we even cashing on the fact that he's our only son?

We receive at least ten proposals a day!

Sometimes 10, sometimes 9.

But, we do receive them!

We don't believe in showing off.

Get it? You want to hold the ceremony at a farmhouse?

At least 900 people will attend.

We can't afford to spend that much right now.

Good Lord! Listen, sir.

If you can't afford to feed at least 200 people, just refuse it, seriously!

- Oh no! - Chop off the snake's head!

She's a very homely girl, mom. Very hard-working.

She is working hard in her home!

- When will she work at ours? - After the 21st!

- The wedding will happen on the 21st. - 21st of this month?

- The 21st! - The 21st of this month?

Right! The 21st of this month!

- Very well! Praise God! - Praise God!

Eighteen days left.

The 21st!

Are you listening? Or, have you gone temporarily deaf?

Why are you harping on that?

Do you have the money?

Hoarded, under your pillow?

- 21st, my foot! - How I wish you were talented!

We'd have a house full of money!

- Should I play the District Collector? - You can't be a scrap collector, dammit!

Be a lector!

- A lector! - Don't try to beat me!

Why shouldn't I beat you?

Be a lector! Truckloads of listeners will come!

Loads of people under tents! They'll bring sweets along!

Confectioners will come for the discourse! The world will be at your feet!

Radha, make it quick! I'm about to get whacked!

- She's the one who saves you! - There you go again!

- You tell him. - Quiet!

- Lie down! - Why?

Lie down, quick.

- How can I lie down, Radha? - Please lie down, grandpa.

- I don't feel like it! - You'll be fine. Lie down.

- Quick! - My bones are creaking!

- Hot water compression. You'll feel better. - All right.

Don't take a wrong step, to meet the target of the 21st.

Don't you think it's weird? Your father is useless!

Have I ever complained?

Will you support me?

Always!

My father and I.

There's drinking water over here.

The Brij Committee's account has only 500 bucks to boot.

No one believes in religion and charity anymore!

It's only you and I who care for tradition!

No one bothers to donate money!

Am I asking for too much?

- I'm only asking you what I deserve. - I can't give you cash.

If you're willing to share the offerings, you can be a lector.

You take the offerings in kind, while I keep the cash.

- I mean, the committee keeps the cash. - Mr. Yadav!

Who will make generous offerings to a newbie lector?

Offerings, eh? You can keep the offerings.

My charges will be fixed.

You get to keep the coconuts as well as cash.

Cloth offerings, you can sell!

- Keep the offerings, my foot! - Sir!

Please listen to me, sir!

- You lose temper over little things! - Careful!

Will you have some tea? Lemon juice?

Get a glass of lemon juice!

- Sir! - Let me go!

A lector! Plenty of competition in the field!

There's a lector in every other house in town.

There are millions of them in the market.

The committee members talk about paying in meals.

Meals, eh? Am I starving?

So says the father of the future Collector, deservingly!

Girdhari, give up the idea of becoming a lector.

- Don't advise me. - I won't give a loan over an existing one.

I'll give you 20,000 for your daughter's wedding. That's all.

I'm facing tough times.

I wouldn't be listening to a lecture otherwise.

True that. The Collector's father, after all.

- The curd tastes sour. - I forgot to refrigerate it.

You're coming home late these days.

I've started teaching a new batch of students.

How many students?

- How much do you want? - I need to buy sweets for your uncle.

Here you are.

- Want more? - This should suffice.

You better visit him.

I have made some khichdi. Have it later.

- Okay? - Thank you.

I'm off.

- Anyone home? - Welcome, brother.

- Greetings. - Bindiya? Where is everyone?

- Everyone's out. - I see!

- Take a seat. - You're home alone.

- Yes. - Take this.

- What are the sweets for? - It's for the children.

- For the children! - Father has decided

to get Radha married on the 21st of this month.

- I see. - All of you must attend.

- The 21st of this month? - That's right.

You've been fixing her wedding every year.

This year, it's final.

- Are you sure? - Sure! Just come over.

- We will! You have invited us. - I consider it a duty.

You're here to ask for money.

I'm not asking for money.

I want to sell this house and take my share.

Brother, I've told you scores of times! We're not selling this house!

Never!

- I'm selling it... - As for your share, you can stay here.

- You can't sell this house! - Why are you yelling?

I'm selling it to you, not to others.

- Me? - Yes.

How much do you want?

- Distress sale. 1 million. - A million?

- Of course! - For this dilapidated structure?

Not more than half a million. If you agree, take 20,000 now.

Why are you undervaluing your own house?

I met Ranbir Chaudhary. He's offering 2 million.

Ranbir Chaudhary may give 2 million or more. I just don't care!

Dare anyone try to buy it!

I'll kill him!

Dare anyone try to buy it! I'll kill him!

This time, the wedding will surely take place on the 21st!

The wedding will take place on the 21st.

Bus for Badaun to Bareilly.

Darling, if he was working somewhere, or owned a grocery store,

he'd be earning some money. And we'd be married.

- We'd have children by now! - Brother-in-law!

Hey!

Wow! I can tell, a Collector's approaching!

- How are you, brother-in-law? - Great!

You're beaming with confidence! The mark of a great man!

- The redness is because of the sun. - You're glowing too!

Wipe the stain off your lip.

We'll pick up the stock of asafoetida and then head home.

- When is the result going to be out? - Very soon.

Government affairs take time. It'll be out soon.

- Are you sure? - Yes.

When have you fixed the wedding?

The 21st!

The 21st! What about shopping expenses?

Have you arranged the money?

How can I? You will organise the money.

It's your responsibility too. You'll do it.

You won't do anything! Your son will take care of everything!

Hear that?

He's been harping about the date as if he's due for a civilian award. The 21st!

Father, will you calm down?

He's come back after so long. Can't he have dinner peacefully?

So much for his ridiculous questions.

- I've made your favourite khichdi. Eat. - I'm having it.

Here.

Sir.

- No accompaniment? - No.

Super.

Take it.

What is it?

Salt. My country's.

Try it. It's exhilarating!

Cardamom flavour!

God is good!

My younger brother

is making a fuss.

- What? - He won't let me sell the house.

I wanted to raise money for Radha's wedding.

I won't be able to make it grand as per Gopal's parents' expectations.

We live out of Radha's earnings. How do we feed so many guests?

I'm screwed, Bulaki!

Sir?

- May I say something? - What is it?

- Kill two birds with a stone. - Set up a liquor factory?

- Oh no! - Then?

Get your son, Banwari, married first.

You will get a good amount in dowry.

Use that money to marry off Radha.

Consider that your son is already a Collector.

He'll fetch a good price.

Marry your daughter off with that money.

That's not possible, Bulaki. Who will marry that wastrel?

- Not possible. - Trust me.

Meet me tomorrow.

- Get a photograph of him. - For what?

- Your son is very handsome. - Absolutely!

- What about his education? - He can teach the whole world!

He's a Collector!

As good as an insurance for the girl and her family.

Which batch is he from?

He has just appeared for the exams.

Just appeared? So, he's jobless.

No problem.

Take a look at Ritu.

Matriculate. Her father is a peon.

He's retired. They'd make a nice couple.

What are you saying? Show us some affluent ones.

No problem. Take a look.

Who is she?

- She's Kalavati. Bachelor of Arts. - Nice.

- They are aristocrats from Raya. - That's like it!

But, her father passed away last year.

- No problem. - Her uncle usurped their property.

However, the girl is convent educated.

She speaks mind-blowing English! Shall I speak to them?

What are you saying? You're suggesting poor matches!

Show us a family that makes money from all quarters.

- Why are you showing these? - If you're looking for a girl

from the house of the Tatas or Birlas for your jobless son, then forgive me!

Okay.

- Let's go. - What happened?

What happened, sir?

Well, your general knowledge is weak.

Tatas don't have a daughter. Don't fool us.

If they had a daughter, we'd approach them. Let's go, sir.

He's Banwari, the District Collector.

He's a sure support for your daughter and your family.

Hello. I'm Banwarilal Sharma. My father is Girdharilal Sharma.

Grandfather, Bansilal Sharma. 5ft 10in. tall, Ancestral Origin, Kashyap.

Favourite temple, Banke Bihari. And I'm a graduate in Social Science.

This is Mr Madhav, an expat. I had...

- Hi! - This is Ganga.

- She's loaded! - You said, she's an expat.

Right. Kenya.

So, tell me. Where are you posted?

- Raebareli. - Muradabad.

Dad, I think we have to go to the office.

- Ganga, call the police. - Mr Madhav!

I can give it to you in writing,

this boy is soon going to be a Collector! That's a given.

He'll become a Collector once he lands in the lock-up.

What a fraud!

Is this why you were missing your son?

He just took me along and sat me up with her!

I don't mean to insult, but she was as black as pitch!

You are lucky, he didn't find a monkey for you!

- Your father is a wise man, indeed! - Why bother about the complexion?

Lord Krishna is also dark.

Father, it's not about the complexion. It's about his future.

Just to marry me off, why are you forcing him to get married?

Tell me something.

Do I have any other option?

If there's no option, I don't want to get married.

Tell them it's not possible.

- Tell them! - No.

- Listen, Radha! - Radha!

Radha!

Radha!

Did You see that?

You were lost in darkness for two days!

It is her money that lit up Your room.

My daughter's been in the darkness for two years, but You don't see it, do You?

Justice is never denied in Your Court! Oh, how wrong is that notion!

You have always denied me! Always!

Vented out your frustration on Him?

Or, is there anymore left?

Is it only my responsibility to get you married?

He's my son!

Isn't he also responsible?

If he marries as per my wishes, we'll have enough money.

Money is all we need.

He gets married, gets a wife, he studies further, or does what he likes!

Once you've left, who'll take care of your grandfather?

Should I take care of him, myself and the temple?

- It'll kill me soon. - Father!

- Do you want me to die? - Why are you saying that, father?

The deadline of the 21st has left me shattered!

I'm completely shattered!

I'm so scared of receiving your groom!

- These are my daughters. That's Leena. - Hello.

- The other one's Sheela. - Hi!

They look like mermaids.

You can choose any one you like.

What!

- I mean, the boy can choose. - Right!

So, Mr Collector! Which one do you like?

- Or both? - Son, you're a Collector.

We are not poor either.

We are also rich.

And, both my daughters

- work magic with their hands. - What do they do with their hands?

They run a massage parlour.

Beauty parlour would've sounded less intimidating!

- Sir! - Let's go home!

They were not worth it! I'm glad it didn't click.

Is that what we are worth? My son should marry a masseuse!

No need to lose it. Find a princess if you can.

We will!

Stop showing us girls. Just pass on information about their families.

Well, I don't have a database.

Go to the riverbank early morning. A lot of rich people visit at that time.

They come from Gujarat, Punjab, Bengal and Kerala. Take your pick!

- That'll be perfect! - Say bye to your uncle.

Take some baloons.

"The worthless man sets out"

"putting his son up for sale!"

"He desires a daughter-in-law,"

"whose father is filthy rich!"

"He wants a quick wedding, with someone of status!"

"He wants a quick wedding, with someone of status!"

"A quick wedding, with someone who can afford cash!"

"The son is jobless!"

"The son is jobless, yet he seeks a bombshell!"

"The son is jobless, yet he seeks a bombshell!"

"Is he asking for too much?"

"Is he asking for too much?"

"The son is jobless, yet he seeks a bombshell!"

"The son is jobless, yet he seeks a bombshell!"

DOWRY SEEKERS, LAY OFF!

"They almost found a match, but they were exposed!"

"The girl's family quickly sensed, they were out there for the loot!"

"They almost found a match, but they were exposed!"

"The girl's family quickly sensed, they were out there for the loot!"

"The poor suitor and his father had to run for their lives!"

"The son is jobless!"

"The son is jobless, yet he seeks a bombshell!"

"The son is jobless, yet he seeks a bombshell!"

"My job was regarded highly!"

"The arrangement was fine with a free massage at home!"

"My job was regarded highly!"

"The arrangement was fine with a free massage at home!"

"I saved my honour just in time and that was a happy ending!"

"My son is jobless!"

"My son is jobless, yet for him we seek a bombshell!"

"The son is jobless, yet he seeks a bombshell!"

"Give us what you can, we don't ask for too much!"

"Give us what you can, we don't ask for too much!"

"My son is jobless, yet for him we seek a bombshell!"

"The son is jobless, yet he seeks a bombshell!"

"My son is jobless, yet for him we seek a bombshell!"

"My son is jobless, yet for him we seek a bombshell!"

"My son is jobless, yet for him we seek a bombshell!"

- Did you get through? - Hello?

- Hello. - Hello.

- Hello? - Hello, who is it?

- Who are you? - I'm Girdhari. G.L Sharma.

- Who is G.L Sharma? - I'm a religious scholar from Mathura.

Who cares! We're not organising a religious discourse.

- Hang up! - Let me speak!

- Hello? - I wonder why they call!

- Hello! - What happened?

Why can't you just shut up?

Just wouldn't let me talk!

- You got a call? - It's from Kolkata!

Good! Answer it!

- Hello? - Hello. I'm Indrani.

I got a missed call from this number.

You placed an advertisement in matrimonial classifieds.

Well, we have a match for you. - INDRANI: Good! How are you related to the boy?

What do you mean? I'm his father.

Please come over to Kolkata.

Why don't you come over to Mathura?

Is there a decent place where I can stay in Mathura?

- You have a home! - Our home!

- Your home? - If you don't like it...

Okay. I'll call you back.

You find God in the most unexpected places!

Welcome! Please visit the Lord!

Welcome! Please visit the Lord!

Get to know the Holy Gita in a gist! Please visit the Lord!

- Bye. - Welcome!

A packet of biscuits, please.

- This one? - Yes. The other one too.

- What else? - Which of the sweets are fresh?

- These are fresh. - Were they made today?

- Yes. - Give me half a kilo.

Give me the sweet box, Govind.

- Pack five pieces of Rasmalai too. - No! Not Rasmalai!

We'll take it. Just pack them.

- Why do you want Rasmalai? - I want it!

- Why? - I'll tell you later.

- No! - I want it!

- You are too much! - No. What are you doing?

Try it.

Stop staring. Weigh the sweets.

I was waiting in the lane. Diya told me you're in the market.

- You went home? - Yes!

How much would that be?

It's 250, ma'am.

Let it be. You haven't got your salary yet.

You know everything about me!

Who else would I bother to know about?

Here you are.

Your sweets.

Sir, they're here! The guests are here!

Good Lord, support me! I'm ready to meet them.

- You need not have done that! - Welcome!

Thank you for the warm welcome.

I don't see ma'am. Where is she?

- She couldn't come. - Why?

She is expecting.

The mother is expecting!

Where's my room?

- What? - My room?

What room? This is my home.

I had booked a month ago. Jamuna Lodge.

Diya, what have you done?

You picked up the wrong one.

Sorry. This is my home. Jamuna Lodge is 3 kms from here.

Then, you take a bus for the next 16 kms.

Why didn't you tell me that earlier?

You should've asked earlier!

Shut up! Wasted my time!

Good Lord! Testing times!

Please help me out!

Sir, they're here!

Who is here?

Indrani!

- From Kolkata? - Right.

There you are! Please come in!

Come in!

- Hello! - Hello.

- Welcome. - Thank you!

You're from Kolkata, right? Mathura is glad to receive you!

- Wonderful! - Thank you!

My daughter Pankhuri.

Very good! God bless!

May you prosper.

This is a very beautiful temple. Where's your home?

The temple is where we live with God.

There's no electricity.

In Mathura, the river Jamuna is contaminated.

The Electricity Board and the Municipal Corporation are dysfunctional.

- There! My daughter, Radha! - Very nice!

- Hello. - She's so beautiful!

- Thank you. - Isn't she beautiful?

- Sit down, dear. - Yes.

Sit. Please sit. What do you do, my dear?

- I'm a teacher. - Teacher, wow!

- Hear that? - She studied at the secondary school here.

- Is it? - Yes!

She makes lovely Kheer every Thursday.

- Even my daughter cooks very well. - Is it?

- She always liked embroidery, knitting... - Father!

- He always praises me! - I hear, we have guests from Kolkata.

Why did he come here so early in the morning?

Famous sweets from Mathura's famous sweet shop.

Made to perfection!

Have some!

I'll serve it on a plate. Come on.

- Who is he? - The boys in the neighbourhood walk in!

- That's common in Mathura. - See that!

In Kolkata, we barely know, who lives in the house next door!

- Isn't it? - Right!

- What? - In Kolkata, no one's bothered!

In Mathura, anyone just walks into the house at any time.

The entire neighbourhood is family.

Hail to Lord Rama!

Hail to Lord Krishna!

Hail to Lord Krishna!

- This is a temple. - Right. Mathura is the abode of God.

There he is!

- That's my son. - I see!

- She's Indrani. - Come, sit down.

- Hey! Scram! - Please sit!

- Is your shop closed today? - Sit down.

- Your name...? - Banwarilal Sharma. Father, Girdharilal.

Grandfather, Bansilal Sharma. 5ft 10 inches, Ancestral origin, Kashyap.

- A Bachelor of Social Science. - What do you do?

- Speak up, Banwari. - What do you do, son?

I do my parents' bidding, you see.

The stupid neighbourhood chap!

He's funny!

So is she!

Ok.

- Come, let's meet my grandfather. - Yes, please.

- Go! - You stay here!

- Meet the grandfather. - Please go along.

- No, thank you. - You stay here!

Sit there and fan her. Diya, stay put.

Grandpa.

- Grandpa? - Yes.

- Are you awake? - Yes, I am.

Look who's here.

- Who is it? - Grandfather, I'm Pankhuri.

She's here from Kolkata, to meet Banwari.

Ma'am, do you think Kolkata has opportunities for a business of spices?

- What spices? - He sells asafoetida.

- Let go. I'll manage. - Careful, grandpa.

How much you want?

You found a scapegoat for the 21st, eh?

What?

Who is my grandson marrying?

- She is Ms Indrani. - Hello.

The 21st!

Move!

- My father. He often beats me. - Am I really your father?

Am I his father, really? My grandson is getting married,

and no one tells me about it!

- Grandpa, please calm down! - Isn't your husband here?

Actually, it's been years... we don't live together.

That's nice. Praise the Lord!

And this fellow here!

His wife died 10 years ago. Since the day she died,

he hasn't even dreamt of her!

- Please calm down! - Don't mind his upset disposition.

- Can you dance? - Yes.

- Where did you learn? - Ballygunj.

- Great! - Why don't you come over?

- Surely, if I... - She looks like a goddess! Right, Radha?

Yes. Do you want to marry her?

I didn't mean that. Just that she looks nice.

Have you always been like this? My type?

Oh my God!

Cheers to that! Cheers!

If something untoward happens in someone's life...

If something untoward happens in someone's life... what?

Is it that person's mistake?

- The one who's facing all that? - Yes.

What are you getting into? You're stupid!

The fact is,

you and I are enjoying savoury foods and apples.

It was destined. You came over to my house.

You got your daughter along.

It was all meant to be!

Show me your palm. Don't worry.

You're getting a reading from Girdhari, the learned!

It's all meant to be!

What if I tell you that Pankhuri is a widow?

She was married three years ago.

They went for their honeymoon.

The day they reached,

her husband died in an accident.

She was in a state of trauma.

- She struggled a lot, sir. - Bathroom.

- No one supported. - Bathroom.

2.5 million!

- The toilet. - Over there.

I'll manage.

You mean,

my son is marrying your daughter,

who is a widow?

2.5 million!

Why does everyone look so happy?

Your son has managed to trap a filthy rich family.

God knows who's trapped whom!

Once Radha is married off on the 21st, that'll be it!

She will! Radha will be off.

You'll be off, I'll be off and everyone will be off!

These tiny hairs on your nose and ears will also be off!

What happened?

Will someone tell me what happened?

Will someone please tell me?

- Banwari is a District Collector! - Wonderful!

Good news! Your grandson is a District Collector!

Yes! Hurray!

Dance! Everyone dance.

Congratulations, sir!

God bless you, son!

Very good! God bless!

Congratulations!

I had been waiting for it so eagerly!

The day is finally here!

- Gopal weds Radha! - Gopal!

Gopal, it's time to leave.

- I'll be right there! - Hurry up!

The day is finally here!

Who turned the lights off?

Someone check that!

You look so beautiful, Radha! And my daughter too!

You look as beautiful as fairies. Radha looks like a queen!

Imagine what Gopal would say.

She's like the aromatic asafoetida seasoning in my life!

That'd be fun!

You're looking so beautiful! Banwari won't take his eyes off you!

This will keep you off the evil eye.

- Sir. - Has the procession arrived?

- No, not yet. - Then?

Your father is injured.

It's just fine. Come with me.

It's nothing.

- Nothing? My father is hurt! - Calm down!

- Quiet! - What happened?

He's okay. Slightly hurt.

Some goons entered the procession and disrupted it.

- The most important thing... - Where's Banwari?

- Both the boys are missing? - Both of them?

- Both the grooms are missing! - Both? How?

Don't worry, brother-in-law! Once they set me free,

I won't spare any of them!

Let me get my hands free!

Oh no! What is this?

Check why he's cribbing.

This one.

What happened? Are you hungry?

Are you thirsty?

Do you want to pee?

Should I set him free for a bit?

Do that.

How dare you misbehave like this with an administrative officer?

How can you ill-treat an officer of the Indian Civil Services?

- Why have you kidnapped me? - We only follow orders!

I'm an I.A.S officer! All of you will go to jail!

- Let me go, or I'll have you arrested! - Shut up!

The priest's son is an Administrative Officer!

And I had no idea about it!

Well, priest! That was indeed smart!

I have my future set!

Robdar!

You dare kidnap the Collector!

Inspector, it was a mistake! I'll let him go!

Our son was so excited!

He was about to get married!

He was singing with joy!

I had been waiting for it so eagerly! The day is finally here!

I wonder what befell him!

Pankhuri,

I hope you didn't tell Banwari anything.

I didn't tell him anything, mom.

Take this. Go.

What will you tell them?

Don't worry.

- The Lord will set everything right. - When?

What's this?

You're back without them? Where is my son?

- Gopal! - Where is he?

- Sir, where is my son? - Well...

Will someone tell us something?

Well, we found both the mares.

- We found the owners. - He found the mares!

To hell with the mares! What about the boys?

They're both missing.

Let's go to the cops.

- Of course! - You are right.

I can't eat or drink.

- Let's go to the police station. - Let's go.

You don't have to worry. We'll take care.

Hurry up!

We'll be back soon.

I tried. Banwari isn't answering.

Can't get through Gopal's phone. His mother and I tried so many times!

- It's switched off. - Damn!

Oh no.

Have you told them it's urgent?

Can't you be patient?

Don't you know Rustom ran away in the afternoon?

The Inspector had a tough time chasing him!

- Is he a hard-core criminal? - No.

He's the officer's pet dog.

- Yadav. - Yes, sir?

- Give some bread and milk to Rustom. - Okay, sir.

Milk and bread for Rustom.

After the purification in the morning, the officer will screw him.

Screw the dog?

I mean...

Damn, I never thought about that!

- Are you joking? - No, I'm serious. I mean...

He'll enter the house, after the purification.

- Tell me. - Two bridegrooms went missing.

Must've eloped with their girlfriends. Children hardly are obedient these days.

That's not the case, Inspector.

- Both the boys are very well-behaved. - Very good boys.

Please find them as soon as possible!

- Let's wait until morning. - Inspector...

When the families of the girls complain, we'll know who they've eloped with.

That won't help, Inspector.

Patience. It's a matter of 4-5 hours. I'll be right back.

I was saying...

The boys must be in trouble. Please help!

Both of you go home.

Tell everyone, the police are checking.

Will you go on a hunger strike here?

You haven't eaten since morning.

Let's go.

Praise the Lord!

Salutations to Lord Vasudeva!

Hey, there!

Hello!

- Excuse me. - Yes?

- Is this Prem Sadan? - Yes.

- Any else around? - Yes.

Kill him!

Kill him!

- Robdar... - Kill him!

- Where is he? - In Wonderland!

Don't you have menfolk at home? Shoot!

Shoot him!

Kill him!

The bullet!

- Damn! - What happened?

- Why do you dream so often? - Greetings, sir!

Empty-handed, eh? You didn't get the money.

How can I give you the money? You've screwed up.

I told you to take my son, Banwari, out for a movie from 9-12 p.m.

- But you kidnapped my son-in-law, too! - We went to kidnap your son.

But, your son-in-law interfered.

The windbag was quite noisy. Well, he's as calm as a millpond now.

What do you mean, calm?

- My boys gave him a sound thrashing. - Thrashed him?

Father!

This man kidnapped us. He beat up brother-in-law like a dog!

They thrashed the hell out of me!

This is wrong. You're taking money and beating them up as well!

- Listen to me. - Shoot.

I'll take my son-in-law right now.

After he marries Radha,

I'll give you a missed call.

After that, you will bring my son back.

Ace move, priest.

After that, you'll tell the Bengali woman that your son can't marry the widow.

Because your son is now an I.A.S officer.

- Did you tell him? - Yes.

You thought I wouldn't find out?

You'll go to jail on charges of kidnapping.

Your son thinks I'll go to jail.

But my idea is to become a legislator and eventually a Minister for Jails.

Bad.

Mr Robo, no one will be arrested. It's an auspicious day, with a full moon.

Don't say such things. I'm taking my son-in-law along.

- Please get my son later on. - Sir!

Instead of your daughter, how about getting your son married?

I'll think about it. Why are you bothered about it?

I mean, even I have a daughter.

Take this finery off.

- Come to my living room. - This is wrong.

Your son and son-in-law, both are here! Come on!

- Stick to the plan. - Come on, sir!

Sir!

Greetings, sir!

- Greetings. - I've got sweets for you.

Why did you sit down without my consent? Get up!

Now, you may.

Come closer.

Are you here to rub salt into our wounds?

Get out of here!

Get out, or I'll whack you!

Why are you mad at me? The legislator sends the sweets. -Out.

- Your grandson is a District Collector! - We don't want sweets!

Get out!

- Damn, my ear hurts! - Grandpa...

The legislator wants to see the boy and his father tomorrow.

They've been missing since last night.

Both of them!

The result is out and they've disappeared!

Come and meet the legislator.

He'll find them very soon.

Why don't you go with him?

Fair enough.

- Priest. - Yes, Mr Robo?

- What have you decided? - I'm in a quandary.

This tragicomedy is killing me. Spare me.

- I will spare you, but... - But?

Tell me what you think.

That's not possible.

The art of making the impossible, possible

- is something I've mastered. - Banwari won't agree.

He will!

- If he doesn't... - Then?

Munni will convince him.

- Now, who is Munni? - Your...

soon-to-be daughter-in-law.

- Who is this, brother-in-law? - How would I know?

She has sent the men away.

How are you, Mr Collector?

I'm hot, smart and sexy, but not a Collector.

He is the Collector.

- Who are you? - Munni.

- Wow! - Away!

So, you're the Collector!

- Mr Collector, how do I look? - You're a bombshell!

Why don't you shut up?

So, Mr Collector, what would you like? Beer?

- Whiskey, or Vodka? - He doesn't even drink soda.

Just set me free.

So soon?

Let me show you how generous I am.

What...?

Try me. I mean, set me free.

You better shut up!

The boys are kidnapped, and you're expecting the police to help!

You should've come to me directly!

Sir, Robdar's phone is switched off.

- Should I call up Inspector Samajhdar? - Do that.

Don't worry. We'll find them.

The legislator wants to talk to you.

Sir, Inspector Samajhdar.

- Inspector, what's going on? - What, sir?

The Collector was kidnapped as soon as the results were out.

Mr Collector is kidnapped?

It's in the newspapers.

He is... what's the name?

- Girdharilal Sharma. - Right.

The son of the renowned scholar Girdharilal Sharma.

We have no information, sir.

No information? The Collector's grandfather says it was reported.

Yes, Girdhari went last night.

I'm not keeping well, so I've been on leave.

- I have no idea. - Is it?

I understand, Inspector.

Unwell, eh? What medicine suits you?

No, sir. Don't worry. I'll investigate and give you an update.

Bye, sir.

I'm scared of speaking with the Collector!

- And, you dared to kidnap him! - Even I'm scared!

But, I have something on my mind.

- What is it? - I can't tell you that.

Wait and watch.

Robdar, give me the Collector.

I can't give him to you.

I want the Collector

- to be my son-in-law. - That's not possible.

- Come, sir. - Not possible.

As soon as he's released, you'll be in jail, Robdar.

A few others will also end up in jail.

They are the ones, who asked me to kidnap these people.

I didn't ask you to kidnap.

I told you to show him a movie. You kidnapped him.

Conspiracy? Kidnapping?

Criminal conspiracy and kidnapping in order to murder.

You're in trouble, sir. We'll speak at the police station.

Come on!

Inspector, let's settle it here for something in exchange.

Why are you getting me into trouble?

You came to us, but you didn't lodge a complaint. Reason?

I was under tremendous pressure over the wedding on the 21st.

So you ordered the kidnapping?

Please do something about it. Please take care of it.

It's possible, sir.

Even my daughter is very good, talented.

If you can set something...

- So, that's the matter. - So, it is!

Want to see her picture?

- Keep it with you. - Is it a stamp?

- She's your daughter-in-law. - Is she?

Show the Collector the photo, fix the wedding and rest assured.

Let the children go. I want to discuss about the marriage.

- Come on. - Why are you going outside?

- To Robdar again? - He's our friend. Nothing to worry.

But, I can't trust a lector. You know how to twist a tale.

Robdar, take care of him.

- Goodbye! - Goodbye!

- Sir... - Yes, Mr Robo?

If you wanted to sell a shampoo,

why get me to rub my fingernails?

Pankhuri. Then, Munni.

And now, the Inspector's daughter.

You must stop it at some point.

- Do you want something? - We don't want anything!

Set me free. Will you do that?

Rather be a policeman's son-in-law than a goon's.

Banwari, please agree to it. It'll clear the path for me.

Radha is waiting for me!

Should I call Mr Robo?

He isn't Robo, he's a dacoit, after my life!

This father and brother duo is not bothered about the young girl!

This one.

Hey! Wake up!

- What happened? - Get up!

What happened?

Are you setting us free?

Are you?

Good! Open it!

- Thank you! - Get up.

- Thank you! - Wait! Let me shake hands!

Okay, bye. Let me take the turban.

- Enough! Come on! - Aren't you setting them free?

What happened?

- Where are you going? - I'm free. Have faith in God.

- Where are you taking him? - I'll set you both free.

Sir.

Do you think you'll get him married to the cop's daughter?

Not.

How dare you!

- The Inspector is... - Were you born to dacoits? Let go!

- He is setting a trap for you! - Who's setting a trap for whom?

- My son won't budge! - What a father!

You can't convince your son, eh?

At my behest, my daughter dumped her boyfriend.

Imagine. That boy must've spent a lot on her!

And you can't convince your own son!

- Tell uncle... - Do you agree?

You won't.

- Show him the piece! - What piece?

Father!

- Sideways, you fool! - Yes, boss!

Am I not the scapegoat!

- What happened, brother-in-law? - Please accept the proposal!

- See that? - Uncle Robo!

I haven't done or said anything. Let me go!

I haven't even been to college. I'm just a small asafoetida trader.

Great. Asafoetida with hot compression will help with your wounds.

I'm helpless. He won't agree.

Does it hurt? Please bear, for my sake.

I beg you! Why are you getting me beaten up?

Welcome.

Hello, Mr Legislator.

Why did you take the trouble?

I would've come over if you had ordered.

- You don't need me anymore. - What are you saying, sir?

All I have is thanks to you.

Where's the Collector?

You made him travel in the sun.

- Couldn't help! He wanted to come. - What if he got a sunstroke?

- Father... - They must be looking for us.

- Uncle Robo! - Mr Collector!

He isn't the Collector. His father sells asafoetida.

- Out of the way! Where's the Collector? - There he is!

- We have to talk with... - Gopal...

...there is plenty.

He's the one.

Mr Collector!

Who's that?

Mr Collector...

He's the priest.

That one's the Collector.

Sir!

Well, sir.

- Congratulations, sir! - What for?

Your son is famous in the entire area!

- Hey! - Who is he?

- He's Mr Legislator. - Mr Legislator, please save me!

- I'm a part of their family! - Robdar!

- Set everyone free and do as I say. - Yes.

I want to meet the priest in private.

- During the day? - Lovers of alcohol need no reason!

- Cheers! - Cheers!

- Sir, your son has a bright future. - Isn't it?

A Collector becomes a Secretary and then the Chief Secretary!

The Chief Secretary becomes an Ambassador!

Ambassador to Iran, Iraq, Libya, Korea, or even America.

- Our America? - Our America!

Can I build a monastery there?

- Why not? Of course, you can! - Really?

Show me your palm!

Why are you looking at my palm?

I'm checking if you have a daughter!

I'm into politics. I had no time for marriage.

So, you don't have a daughter!

I have a distant relative, a niece.

- It's a proposal. - Proposal?

- Your niece? - My niece.

What are you thinking?

- Not possible. - Why not?

- Robo! - What about Robo?

- He's my man. I'll handle him. - Sure?

- Sure! - Come on, let's go out.

- What happened? - What about the Inspector?

I'm a legislator. The Inspector fetches ice for my drink.

- Sure? - Absolutely.

Oh no! Not possible!

- Why isn't it possible? - The aunt is at home.

That Bengali lady from Kolkata!

Sir!

We'll settle her too! She'll be singing praises of you!

Sing praises of me?

- Permanent? - Absolutely permanent!

Come on. Let's wait for the procession!

- Listen to me, sir! - What is it now?

- What happened? - Stay here

Here?

Till the wedding is over.

- Why? - So that I'm assured.

Get it?

Hey! This is tragicomedy!

Why are you leaving me here?

Hello!

We are undone!

- When did the Legislator have a daughter? - She's a distant relative, not a daughter.

- What do you mean by instant relative? - Not instant!

- Do you understand distant? - How does it matter?

First, it was only Munni, now it's everyone you see!

- I don't get what you're thinking! - Well I must say,

you're getting your son married to four girls.

- You can't let me get married even once! - I'm worried about his training.

- He has to attend training. - Sure, after he's done training here!

This training will be over

when he marries Munni.

He's playing cricket!

Cricket, in the sun.

Cricket, when he is angry.

- Greetings, sir! - This is father's pair of glasses.

- Is it being auctioned? - The highest scorer takes it.

- But, it's mine. - All yours! The fineries, too.

Whoever scores the highest gets it! Okay?

What do you have to say, sir?

- He's willing to marry Munni. - Very good!

Mr Collector is ready!

- God bless! - Actually, dad convinced him all night.

- We agreed, Munni is the right choice. - I see.

Why don't you just shut up?

I have a condition.

The procession must be elaborate and everyone must know about it!

Absolutely!

- And, the Legislator will also come. - Damn!

- The Inspector will be invited. - That bloody Inspector!

- He's trying for his own daughter! - The Legislator is trying for his niece.

Let the Legislator bring his niece and the Inspector, his daughter.

Munni will be the bride. No one will know who's behind the veil.

Ace move, priest!

Take care of him!

Come on. He will play with us!

Come here. Give him the bat.

Start. I'll field.

Bat, sir.

Nice shot.

- Glasses for the man of the match! - For seeing things far away.

I must deck up for my love!

I must deck up for my love!

Even I had decked up for the 21st!

Brother-in-law, you better shut up!

I didn't expect that of you. That was abominable.

You got our son into trouble!

His mother is in the hospital, she suffered a heart attack.

Disgusting! How could you stoop so low?

Aren't you ashamed? We gave you 2.5 million!

Where's my money? Return it! What about my Pankhuri?

You've made us wait for a long time! I want my money back!

Of course! That was too much!

You could've shared it with me. I know so many goons.

We would've kidnapped Robo!

Why are we facing this? What's the reason, father?

Your brother became a District Collector. That's the reason.

The reason is, I'm the father of a girl.

The reason is, I am also a human being.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Even I made one.

I'm trying to make up for it.

I'm doing it for you, Radha.

Bulaki, won't you be with me?

I'm with you, my friend!

I can't afford to mess with the Legislator.

Just let your son marry his niece.

Come closer.

My son isn't interested in his niece and Robo's daughter.

Even I wanted to have a Collector for a son-in-law.

But, the equations have changed.

What has changed? You have a Government job.

Banwari has just got one. He can be of great help.

Get your daughter along.

Here's an invitation. It's exclusive.

You're a great scholar, indeed! See you.

As long

as the body exists, we need wealth.

And wealth...

- Pankhuri! - Wealth serves until we have a body.

Very pretty. It's a beautiful colour.

Wealth...

Shut up! You start as soon as there are a few people around.

Sir, the cop is here!

Welcome!

Sir, all okay?

- Hello. - Everything is set. Welcome.

- Call Radha downstairs. - Radha!

Radha!

This is the Inspector. This is Radha. That's his daughter.

Take her and fulfil your promise.

Get some juice for the Inspector.

So, your father is a policeman.

- Right? This way, please. - Yes.

- You like these bangles? - Pankhuri.

- Priya. - Come in.

- Sir! - Yes?

- The Legislator is here! - Welcome!

Welcome, Mr Legislator! He's the legislator from our area.

Mr Legislator, thank you very much!

- We're very grateful! - Radha!

Coming, uncle.

- Radha, take her and fulfil your promise. - Please come.

- She is the Inspector's wife. - Hello.

- It's nice to see you. - She's my wife.

- Come in. - Pankhuri!

Call the bride and the bridegroom. It's about time.

- Call the bride and the groom. - Sure.

- Priya! - Suman!

- Munni! - Where is she?

- Pankhuri! - No need to worry.

- Hurry up! - Pankhuri, make it fast!

Come downstairs!

There she is!

Such a lovely couple!

Wonderful.

Sit down.

Please sit down.

The Legislator is worried.

Rise.

- What? - I see!

Where are you going?

Suman!

- Father! - Sir, over there!

Hurry up!

- Quick! - Come on, faster!

How many rounds? Four? Five?

Suman!

Suman!

Hurry up, son!

Damn you, priest!

Come on, walk faster!

Robdar!

The priest played a game.

- What? I didn't do that. - He conned me!

I didn't con anyone.

- Is this con? - Your daughter is here,

and mine is here.

- Then whose daughter is marrying? - That's my daughter.

Take your veil off.

- Where's the Collector? - He must be around.

Here's the Collector, Mr Robdar!

Will you please make way?

I got my daughter married.

- As for my son, we'll think later. - Later.

- Come on, Robdar! - Where to?

Where to? To jail!

This priest gave me an invitation. I'll read it out.

I, Girdharilal Sharma, son of Bansilal Sharma,

agree that for my selfish interests,

I got my son Banwarilal Sharma kidnapped by Robdar.

- That's what the priest wrote. - Did you write this?

- It's my handwriting. - He has even signed it!

- Yadav! - Yes, sir?

- Cuff him. - Okay, sir.

Mr Collector!

Please come here!

Come closer.

Take a photograph and send it to all the newspapers.

Mr Collector has been found.

- Done, sir. - Come on.

Put him in jail. That's where he belongs!

You were right, sir!

You can't see the face behind the veil.

Father!

Who will take care of the Lord?

What has the 21st made you do?

Father, you said you'd settle Radha, and you did it.

I did whatever you asked me to.

Now that you are going away, what am I to do?

You never asked me who I want to marry.

I'm your father.

Come here.

She'll take care of the Lord.

Sadly, I won't be around when you get married.

Don't say that.

Come on.

Officer, I hope he won't be incommunicado in jail.

- 9869... - I'm not asking for a number.

- Will he be safe in the jail? - He will be. Don't worry.

Sir, don't keep him isolated.

- He's weak-willed, he might kick the bucket. - Don't worry.

One moment, sir.

Munni, listen dear.

Life is all about highs and lows.

This is a low phase.

What's your boyfriend's name?

Marry that scoundrel.

But dad, my phone bill hasn't been paid.

If you leave, I can't contact him.

Damn! Don't worry.

- Gabru! - Yes, sir.

Make bill payments that will last Munni for a lifetime.

- Sir! - I'll do that.

- Sir! - Come on.

- What happened? - Don't drink water in jail.

Grandpa forbids you. Take this water bottle along.

Take care of your sister. Okay?

- Yadav! - Sir.

Ok, don't worry.

- Come on. - Take care.

- Go, take care of grandpa. - Oh, Goddess Durga!

Father, take care of yourself!

Don't worry. Everything will be fine.

"In the pleasing shade of Your presence,"

"I was resting peacefully. Little did I know,"

"my life would just pass on!"

A devotee says that to God.

Do God a favour.

Sing along.

"In the pleasing shade of Your presence, I was resting peacefully!"

"Little did I know, my life would pass on!"

"In the pleasing shade of Your presence, I was resting peacefully!"

"Little did I know, my life would pass on!"

"In the pleasing shade of Your presence, I was resting peacefully!"

What does it mean?

Some are sitting inside, some outside.

Some are in the hospital, some in the airplane.

- In short... - Everyone's seated!

So, let's keep chanting.

Jailer! Hail to the officer!

- Lord! - Hail to Thee!

"Everyone is crazy for my sensual youth."

"They gaze at me as if their eyes are a x-ray machine."

"They dream of spending life with me, their heart is full of love for me."

"Everyone is intoxicated in my love."

"I am just one but thousands are lusting after me."

"I am just one but thousands are lusting after me."

Subtitles Diego Moraes(oakislandtk) www.opensubtitles.org