All language subtitles for Bless.This.Mess.S02E09.720p.HDTV.x264-AVS+SVA.HI.C

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian Download
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,281 --> 00:00:03,405 [THE CRAIG GILDNER SEXTET'S "LET'S BE JOLLY" PLAYS] 2 00:00:03,430 --> 00:00:05,139 ♪ Well, tonight's the night ♪ 3 00:00:05,164 --> 00:00:08,014 - ♪ We a-get to see, oh, Santa ♪ - [LAUGHS] 4 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:09,054 Mm-hmm. 5 00:00:09,079 --> 00:00:10,835 - [LAUGHS] Hey, guys. - Hi. 6 00:00:10,860 --> 00:00:13,367 Happy Christmas Eve, Mike. Happy Hanukkah Eve, Rio. 7 00:00:13,392 --> 00:00:15,626 Thank you, Rudy. Thank you for seeing me. 8 00:00:15,651 --> 00:00:18,953 Rio, I stocked some Jewish decorations for you. 9 00:00:18,978 --> 00:00:20,703 - [GASPS] - Oh, that is so thoughtful. 10 00:00:20,728 --> 00:00:23,078 So, these are not Stars of David. 11 00:00:23,103 --> 00:00:25,704 These are, uh... satanic pentagrams. 12 00:00:25,729 --> 00:00:27,000 Oh, dear. 13 00:00:27,025 --> 00:00:28,108 That makes sense now. 14 00:00:28,133 --> 00:00:30,166 There was talk about "The Beast" on the website. 15 00:00:30,191 --> 00:00:32,203 - I'm so sorry. - Oh, the Dark Lord, sure. 16 00:00:32,228 --> 00:00:33,250 But they're very lovely. 17 00:00:33,275 --> 00:00:34,286 Why are you two still here? 18 00:00:34,310 --> 00:00:35,355 Shouldn't you be with family? 19 00:00:35,379 --> 00:00:37,665 We're... We're kinda doing Christmas alone together, and... 20 00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,321 - Yeah. - It's our first Christmas in Bucksnort. 21 00:00:39,345 --> 00:00:40,585 And I'm gonna cook a goose. 22 00:00:40,610 --> 00:00:42,460 I ordered one... A real beautiful bird, 23 00:00:42,485 --> 00:00:44,601 - from a boutique organic market... - He ordered a goose. 24 00:00:44,625 --> 00:00:46,156 - ... just outside of Dubuque. - Why? 25 00:00:46,181 --> 00:00:48,327 Frank has got a whole pond full of geese, and he hates them. 26 00:00:48,351 --> 00:00:50,547 Oh, well, maybe next year, I'll... I'll bag one of those. 27 00:00:50,571 --> 00:00:53,085 - Yeah. - Okay, $5.50. 28 00:00:53,110 --> 00:00:54,735 Brandon's gone, so I'm gonna be at Connie's. 29 00:00:54,759 --> 00:00:56,235 - RIO: Okay. - So, don't try a-knockin', 30 00:00:56,259 --> 00:00:57,858 'cause Connie's gonna be a-rockin'. 31 00:00:57,883 --> 00:00:59,359 The first time I'm going to lay her. 32 00:00:59,384 --> 00:01:01,375 Oh, that's information... 33 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:02,579 - that we're getting. - CONSTANCE: Yeah. 34 00:01:02,603 --> 00:01:04,002 Not if I lay him first. 35 00:01:04,027 --> 00:01:05,493 All right, we're gonna go watch the lights. 36 00:01:05,517 --> 00:01:06,579 - All right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 37 00:01:06,603 --> 00:01:10,085 ♪ Away in a manger ♪ 38 00:01:10,110 --> 00:01:13,834 ♪ No crib for a bed ♪ 39 00:01:13,859 --> 00:01:16,500 ♪ The little lord J... ♪ 40 00:01:16,525 --> 00:01:18,124 Why is Clara the only one singing? 41 00:01:18,149 --> 00:01:20,507 Oh, 'cause she's been drinking beer since noon. 42 00:01:20,532 --> 00:01:24,133 [OFF-KEY] ♪ Look down where he lay ♪ 43 00:01:24,158 --> 00:01:26,078 - ♪ The li... ♪ - Okay, everybody. 44 00:01:26,103 --> 00:01:27,437 "Merry Christmas" on three. 45 00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:29,462 One, two, three! 46 00:01:29,487 --> 00:01:32,000 ALL: Merry Christmas! 47 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:34,239 [ELECTRICITY BUZZES] 48 00:01:34,264 --> 00:01:35,697 - MIKE: Oh. - RIO: Oh! 49 00:01:35,722 --> 00:01:38,359 - Lot... Lot of build-up. - Yeah, a lot of pageantry. 50 00:01:38,384 --> 00:01:39,467 Yeah. 51 00:01:39,492 --> 00:01:40,648 Here we go! 52 00:01:41,015 --> 00:01:43,156 - [ELECTRICITY BUZZES] - [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 53 00:01:43,181 --> 00:01:44,914 Now we're getting somewhere! 54 00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:46,039 Now we're talking. 55 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,937 This one goes out to the kitties. 56 00:01:47,962 --> 00:01:49,516 [TO TUNE OF "AWAY IN A MANGER"] ♪ Meow, meow ♪ 57 00:01:49,540 --> 00:01:51,968 ♪ Meow-meow, meow, meow ♪ 58 00:01:51,993 --> 00:01:54,312 ♪ Meow-meow, meow, meow, meow ♪ 59 00:01:54,337 --> 00:01:56,515 I'll bite. ♪ Meow, meow ♪ 60 00:01:56,540 --> 00:01:58,740 ALL: ♪ Meow-meow, meow, meow ♪ 61 00:01:58,765 --> 00:02:01,402 ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow ♪ 62 00:02:01,427 --> 00:02:02,427 Do it. 63 00:02:06,784 --> 00:02:08,761 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 64 00:02:12,155 --> 00:02:14,551 Honey, I love this sculpture that your family sent. 65 00:02:14,576 --> 00:02:17,394 Did Santa actually visit the baby Jesus? 66 00:02:17,419 --> 00:02:18,816 Uh, with Christmas, in general, 67 00:02:18,841 --> 00:02:20,553 it's best not to ask how the sausage is made. 68 00:02:20,577 --> 00:02:22,457 - Just enjoy the yummy sausage. - Sure, yeah. 69 00:02:22,482 --> 00:02:23,815 Merry Christmas, roommates. 70 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:25,269 Look at this jolly gentleman. 71 00:02:25,294 --> 00:02:27,543 The time has come. I'm off to Kay's. 72 00:02:27,659 --> 00:02:30,277 Jacob deserves a Christmas with both parents... 73 00:02:30,302 --> 00:02:32,207 - Sure - .... and I am going to deliver. 74 00:02:32,232 --> 00:02:35,176 Also, I'm gonna deliver for Kay a custard pie. 75 00:02:35,201 --> 00:02:36,372 We're really proud of you, Beau. 76 00:02:36,396 --> 00:02:37,817 You were this caterpillar, you know? 77 00:02:37,841 --> 00:02:39,702 And now you've blossomed to be this... this butterfly, 78 00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:41,207 - and it's really beautiful to see. - Yeah. 79 00:02:41,231 --> 00:02:42,566 I am a butterfly, aren't I? 80 00:02:42,591 --> 00:02:43,591 - Yeah. - I'm like a... 81 00:02:43,616 --> 00:02:45,416 A very sexy butterfly with... 82 00:02:45,441 --> 00:02:47,241 - With big butterfly muscles... - Mm. 83 00:02:47,266 --> 00:02:50,244 And... and... and great butterfly masculine instincts. 84 00:02:50,269 --> 00:02:51,739 - [CHUCKLING] Yeah. - A-A ripped monarch. 85 00:02:51,763 --> 00:02:53,106 - All right! Go get 'em! - [DOOR OPENS] 86 00:02:53,130 --> 00:02:55,246 - That's sweet. - You know what else is sweet? 87 00:02:55,271 --> 00:02:56,271 Huh? 88 00:02:56,296 --> 00:02:58,051 Listen to that sound. 89 00:02:59,035 --> 00:03:01,668 It's the sound of no Beau and no Rudy 90 00:03:01,693 --> 00:03:02,895 - in this house. - Oh, my goodness. 91 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:04,465 You're right. There's no snoring. 92 00:03:04,490 --> 00:03:06,160 - There's no yelling. - No. 93 00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:07,441 No one's arguing about 94 00:03:07,466 --> 00:03:09,441 whether Ronald Reagan was a good actor. 95 00:03:09,466 --> 00:03:11,568 - It's like, "Who cares?" - Who cares? 96 00:03:11,593 --> 00:03:14,094 - Ahh! Yeah. - So peaceful and relaxing. 97 00:03:14,119 --> 00:03:16,452 We're pretty overdue for some alone time. 98 00:03:16,477 --> 00:03:18,355 - Mm. - Ooh, you know what I'm gonna do? 99 00:03:18,380 --> 00:03:20,225 I'm gonna take a bath. You know what I mean? 100 00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:21,950 I'm gonna have to go upstairs and first, like, 101 00:03:21,974 --> 00:03:23,777 sort of scrub the Rudy and Beau off the bath. 102 00:03:23,802 --> 00:03:24,810 - Sure. - But then I'm gonna take a bath. 103 00:03:24,834 --> 00:03:26,161 - I'll be in the kitchen... - Okay. 104 00:03:26,185 --> 00:03:28,085 - ... preparing our fancy-ass dinner... - [GASPS] 105 00:03:28,109 --> 00:03:29,325 - ... that I mail-ordered... - [SQUEALS] 106 00:03:29,349 --> 00:03:30,816 ... 'cause it's goose-glazing time. 107 00:03:30,841 --> 00:03:31,996 - I can't wait. - Yes. Okay. 108 00:03:32,021 --> 00:03:33,177 Uh, by the way, it's gonna... It's gonna take 109 00:03:33,201 --> 00:03:34,446 - about three hours. - That's all right. 110 00:03:34,470 --> 00:03:35,872 It's gonna take me three hours to scrub the tub. 111 00:03:35,896 --> 00:03:36,847 - Oh, wonderful. - So, it works out. 112 00:03:36,872 --> 00:03:38,392 - That'll time out beautifully. - Yeah. 113 00:03:41,792 --> 00:03:44,613 Beau, did you bake? Wait, are you wearing my apron? 114 00:03:44,638 --> 00:03:45,917 If you're doing an impression of me, 115 00:03:45,941 --> 00:03:47,113 I'm not interested, okay? 116 00:03:47,138 --> 00:03:48,417 I'm not in the mood to be mocked. 117 00:03:48,441 --> 00:03:49,880 I'm just putting the finishing touches 118 00:03:49,904 --> 00:03:50,904 on these cookie tins. 119 00:03:50,929 --> 00:03:52,278 I know it usually takes most of your day, 120 00:03:52,302 --> 00:03:53,817 so I wanted to get a jump-start on that. 121 00:03:53,841 --> 00:03:56,941 I also threw away my beer-can ornament collection that you hate. 122 00:03:56,966 --> 00:03:58,801 Even the Santa with the swim trunks 123 00:03:58,826 --> 00:04:00,605 - who's pouring a beer over his head? - Yeah. 124 00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:02,129 - And Margaritaville? - Uh-huh. 125 00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:04,363 The one that plays "I Got Friends in Low Places"? 126 00:04:04,388 --> 00:04:05,754 - Did you like that one? - No. 127 00:04:05,763 --> 00:04:06,894 You liked some of them. 128 00:04:06,919 --> 00:04:07,919 Didn't like any of them. 129 00:04:07,944 --> 00:04:09,578 - Okay, they're gone. - I wrapped the gifts. 130 00:04:09,602 --> 00:04:12,473 Uh, you got Jacob a Jason Statham Blu-ray set. 131 00:04:12,498 --> 00:04:14,347 Actually, I did my own shopping this year. 132 00:04:14,372 --> 00:04:16,038 Hey, Jacob, we're doing gifts! 133 00:04:16,063 --> 00:04:17,343 What do you mean you did your... 134 00:04:17,368 --> 00:04:19,699 - You bought that yourself? - I still get gifts this year? 135 00:04:19,724 --> 00:04:20,832 - Yeah. - I-I just... 136 00:04:20,857 --> 00:04:22,769 I thought maybe broken homes didn't do it. 137 00:04:22,794 --> 00:04:24,060 This is so exciting! 138 00:04:24,085 --> 00:04:25,676 Okay, well, Jacob, just to be clear... 139 00:04:25,701 --> 00:04:27,285 I-I get it, Mom. I know. 140 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:28,843 Just because Dad's home does not mean 141 00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:30,083 that you guys are getting back together. 142 00:04:30,107 --> 00:04:31,769 I know. I just want to enjoy the holidays. 143 00:04:31,794 --> 00:04:33,230 That's good, because... 144 00:04:33,255 --> 00:04:36,449 happiness is a journey, not a destination. 145 00:04:36,474 --> 00:04:37,558 The Buddha. 146 00:04:37,583 --> 00:04:39,573 Yeah, that's something Rio repeats all the time. 147 00:04:44,259 --> 00:04:45,574 A key? 148 00:04:48,046 --> 00:04:49,879 An ATV? 149 00:04:49,904 --> 00:04:51,604 Yeah! 150 00:04:51,629 --> 00:04:54,136 [LAUGHS] Oh, my gosh! 151 00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:56,604 Well, that is a very thoughtful and generous gift. 152 00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,761 - Okay, take it for a spin. - Yes! 153 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,871 - Love you guys! - Golly! 154 00:05:00,896 --> 00:05:02,530 - Okay, you, uh... - [CLEARS THROAT] 155 00:05:02,555 --> 00:05:04,188 ... need any help in the kitchen? 156 00:05:04,785 --> 00:05:06,636 Do I need any what? 157 00:05:06,661 --> 00:05:07,968 Help. 158 00:05:07,993 --> 00:05:09,636 I can't hear you. Say it again. 159 00:05:09,661 --> 00:05:11,675 - Do you need help? - [VOICE BREAKING] Help? 160 00:05:11,707 --> 00:05:13,566 - One more time. - I would like to help you. 161 00:05:13,591 --> 00:05:15,730 [SIGHING] Ohh. Pregnant Mary on the donkey. 162 00:05:16,277 --> 00:05:18,543 RUDY: You can do this. You can do this. 163 00:05:20,018 --> 00:05:22,636 - Merry Christmas! - [SCREAMS] 164 00:05:22,661 --> 00:05:23,994 CONSTANCE: Geez. 165 00:05:24,220 --> 00:05:26,246 Rudy, this is my mama. 166 00:05:26,271 --> 00:05:28,441 So, you're the new boyfriend? 167 00:05:28,466 --> 00:05:30,121 Please, God, don't unwrap me. 168 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:31,800 RUDY: In retrospect, 169 00:05:31,825 --> 00:05:34,074 this was a colossal error in judgment. 170 00:05:34,099 --> 00:05:36,550 Just curious, at your age, how's your eyesight? 171 00:05:36,575 --> 00:05:37,785 20/20. 172 00:05:37,810 --> 00:05:39,761 Rudy, Mama just got here an hour ago, 173 00:05:39,786 --> 00:05:42,153 - and it was quite a surprise. - Oh. Mm-hmm. 174 00:05:42,178 --> 00:05:44,611 Constance wouldn't tell me much about you, 175 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,269 so I feared the worst. 176 00:05:46,294 --> 00:05:49,941 Is that what social media has done to your generation? 177 00:05:49,966 --> 00:05:51,574 Okay, aside from that pornographic event 178 00:05:51,599 --> 00:05:53,605 that you bore witness to, I can assure you... 179 00:05:53,630 --> 00:05:55,029 I'm an upstanding gentleman. 180 00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:57,355 Well, Constance is my pride and joy. 181 00:05:57,380 --> 00:06:01,097 My one wish is that she be well taken care of. 182 00:06:01,122 --> 00:06:03,253 So, Mr. Rudy, you got a job? 183 00:06:03,278 --> 00:06:04,652 - Oh, boy. - Where you live? 184 00:06:04,677 --> 00:06:06,189 - [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] - You rent or own? 185 00:06:06,213 --> 00:06:08,462 - Oh, dear. - And what about savings? 186 00:06:08,691 --> 00:06:09,691 "Yes." 187 00:06:09,716 --> 00:06:14,378 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Mama, Rudy's a very successful farmer. 188 00:06:14,403 --> 00:06:15,684 - That's right. - Right. 189 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,810 And I have a diverse investment portfolio, too, 190 00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:20,317 that includes stocks, paper money, gold bullion. 191 00:06:20,342 --> 00:06:23,294 I keep it all in a giant house on a desirable street. 192 00:06:23,319 --> 00:06:24,606 Is that so? 193 00:06:24,631 --> 00:06:26,325 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Yeah. 194 00:06:27,927 --> 00:06:29,817 - [CHUCKLES] - [DOOR OPENS] 195 00:06:29,842 --> 00:06:31,934 Please don't contradict the lies I'm about to tell. 196 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:32,959 What are y... 197 00:06:32,984 --> 00:06:34,688 Welcome to my home! 198 00:06:34,713 --> 00:06:36,802 Mama, this is Rudy's farm. 199 00:06:36,827 --> 00:06:39,302 Mm. And who are these people? 200 00:06:39,327 --> 00:06:42,458 - Um... - Yeah, who... who are we, Rudy? 201 00:06:42,756 --> 00:06:44,255 Farm hands. 202 00:06:45,997 --> 00:06:47,513 Mike and Rio used to have their own farm, 203 00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:49,027 but they lost it, like morons. 204 00:06:49,052 --> 00:06:50,317 Now they live in my barn. 205 00:06:50,342 --> 00:06:52,976 Is that a picture of a cat holding another cat? 206 00:06:53,001 --> 00:06:54,066 I love it. 207 00:06:54,091 --> 00:06:55,457 Help yourself. 208 00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:58,903 - I showed Belle my genitals. - You what? 209 00:06:58,928 --> 00:07:00,152 - No, no. No, no. - I did. I... 210 00:07:00,177 --> 00:07:01,956 You were supposed to wrap it up for Connie, 211 00:07:01,981 --> 00:07:02,975 - and now you... - Why would you...? 212 00:07:02,999 --> 00:07:04,978 She showed up in town. I-I didn't know she'd be there. 213 00:07:05,002 --> 00:07:06,806 - What did you feel like... - She opened the door... 214 00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:07,823 ... and I was like this. 215 00:07:07,848 --> 00:07:09,503 - I'm sorry. - I suggested he wrap up 216 00:07:09,528 --> 00:07:11,380 like a-a yule log offering. 217 00:07:11,405 --> 00:07:12,606 And now I need to convince my mom 218 00:07:12,630 --> 00:07:14,152 that Rudy is good enough for me. 219 00:07:14,177 --> 00:07:16,090 Rudy, I want to keep this. 220 00:07:16,115 --> 00:07:18,283 - Go right ahead. - How did she get that off the wall? 221 00:07:18,308 --> 00:07:20,590 - Excuse me, Rudy's servants. - RIO: Uh-huh. 222 00:07:20,615 --> 00:07:21,615 When is dinner? 223 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,088 - Oh, yes. Dinner. - Dinner. 224 00:07:23,113 --> 00:07:25,697 So, we have not prepared anything 225 00:07:25,722 --> 00:07:27,816 specifically for you, per se. 226 00:07:27,841 --> 00:07:28,972 - [CLEARS THROAT] - Um... 227 00:07:28,997 --> 00:07:31,936 A-A-And yet... And yet, 228 00:07:31,961 --> 00:07:36,987 we have a Christmas goose that we have prepared. 229 00:07:37,012 --> 00:07:38,710 - For thy. - Thy. 230 00:07:38,735 --> 00:07:40,046 Now put a pep in your step. 231 00:07:40,070 --> 00:07:42,299 - I don't want to have to beat you both. - What? 232 00:07:42,324 --> 00:07:43,604 [ENGINE REVVING] 233 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:46,851 [IMITATES ENGINE REVVING] 234 00:07:46,876 --> 00:07:48,943 [AIR HISSING] 235 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,521 They put that valve in an interesting place. 236 00:07:53,546 --> 00:07:54,578 [LAUGHS] 237 00:07:54,603 --> 00:07:56,479 But I'm not thinking about that kinda stuff. 238 00:07:56,504 --> 00:07:57,840 - It's Christmas. - Yeah. 239 00:07:57,865 --> 00:07:59,760 Thank you for everything you did today. 240 00:07:59,785 --> 00:08:00,765 You're welcome. 241 00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:02,620 I'm sorry that you even feel like you have to thank me. 242 00:08:02,644 --> 00:08:05,403 It's stuff I should've been just doing most of the time anyway. 243 00:08:05,428 --> 00:08:07,038 But... And I never thanked you. 244 00:08:07,063 --> 00:08:08,107 [ENGINE REVVING IN DISTANCE] 245 00:08:08,131 --> 00:08:09,541 Shut... Shut up. 246 00:08:09,574 --> 00:08:11,003 Shut up your mouth. 247 00:08:11,028 --> 00:08:12,797 My life was so much better when you were in it. 248 00:08:12,821 --> 00:08:14,588 And I know why we are where we are, 249 00:08:14,613 --> 00:08:16,640 but I just want you to know that I accept that, 250 00:08:16,665 --> 00:08:18,499 and I'm grateful for you. 251 00:08:18,929 --> 00:08:20,288 [SIGHS] 252 00:08:20,313 --> 00:08:21,344 [VOICE BREAKING] What did you just say? 253 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:22,452 I'm grateful for you. 254 00:08:22,477 --> 00:08:24,559 Oh, my God. Sweet baby Jesus in the hay. 255 00:08:24,584 --> 00:08:26,729 I've got four or five more snowmen, 256 00:08:26,754 --> 00:08:28,274 - if you want me to blow those up. - Mm-hmm. 257 00:08:28,298 --> 00:08:30,218 Or, um, put on those Christmas pajamas 258 00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:32,360 that you bought me 15 years ago that I refused to wear? 259 00:08:32,384 --> 00:08:34,423 - Oh. - I could mist those poinsettias. 260 00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:35,689 They look like they could use that. 261 00:08:35,713 --> 00:08:37,813 No, there's just one thing I want from you right now. 262 00:08:37,838 --> 00:08:40,321 I want you to make love to me, you son of a bitch. 263 00:08:40,346 --> 00:08:41,645 I agree. 264 00:08:41,670 --> 00:08:43,290 [ENGINE REVVING] 265 00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:44,882 Whoo! 266 00:08:45,430 --> 00:08:46,884 - Ta-da. - Oh! 267 00:08:46,909 --> 00:08:48,844 - This looks delicious! - CONSTANCE: Lovely. 268 00:08:48,869 --> 00:08:50,126 - Thank you. - Yes. 269 00:08:50,151 --> 00:08:51,391 I hope you enjoy. 270 00:08:51,416 --> 00:08:53,384 Can you blend mine with some water? 271 00:08:53,409 --> 00:08:55,313 You... You would like a goose smoothie? 272 00:08:55,338 --> 00:08:57,119 Ooh, that sounds delicious. I'll have one of those, too. 273 00:08:57,143 --> 00:08:59,290 That's not necessary. We're fine to chew. 274 00:08:59,315 --> 00:09:01,235 - Great. - [CLEARS THROAT] 275 00:09:01,260 --> 00:09:03,231 Are they eating with us? 276 00:09:05,761 --> 00:09:07,462 I'm sorry, but you must leave. 277 00:09:07,487 --> 00:09:09,235 Just so I'm tracking this, 278 00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:10,766 you want us to go to the barn 279 00:09:10,791 --> 00:09:14,102 and not enjoy this goose that we brined for six days 280 00:09:14,127 --> 00:09:15,387 and then air-dried overnight 281 00:09:15,412 --> 00:09:16,711 so it would be perfectly crisp? 282 00:09:16,736 --> 00:09:18,330 You'll eat hay, and you'll enjoy it, too! 283 00:09:18,354 --> 00:09:19,446 Um... 284 00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:21,259 - Yeah. Well... - As you wish. 285 00:09:21,284 --> 00:09:24,055 Yes. I guess we are... 286 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,024 going over to the barn where we squat. 287 00:09:26,049 --> 00:09:27,719 I'm grabbing just a goose leg... 288 00:09:28,298 --> 00:09:30,180 You heard Mrs. Byrd. You get now! 289 00:09:30,205 --> 00:09:32,220 The only thing you're gonna taste is the back of my hand! 290 00:09:32,244 --> 00:09:34,165 - Oh, wow. Yes, s... - You get now! 291 00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:35,313 - Okay. - You get! 292 00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,313 [WHISPERING] I'm so sorry. 293 00:09:37,338 --> 00:09:39,516 Mom, Dad, I just did a double skid jump! 294 00:09:39,541 --> 00:09:40,919 - It was... - Oh, God! No! 295 00:09:40,944 --> 00:09:41,944 [SHRIEKS] 296 00:09:41,969 --> 00:09:43,251 It's not... Oh, no! 297 00:09:43,276 --> 00:09:44,872 Jacob, you're dreaming! 298 00:09:44,897 --> 00:09:46,008 - You're dreaming. - [DOOR SLAMS] 299 00:09:46,032 --> 00:09:49,071 RIO: This is crazy. We get no dinner, no house. 300 00:09:49,096 --> 00:09:51,029 It is shockingly cold in here. 301 00:09:51,054 --> 00:09:53,135 You know, we just wanted one night away from everybody. 302 00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:54,345 - I know. - And now they're inside 303 00:09:54,369 --> 00:09:55,540 - eating our goose. - I know. 304 00:09:55,565 --> 00:09:56,577 - It's your goose. - And we're in a barn... 305 00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:57,688 without a toilet. 306 00:09:57,713 --> 00:10:00,219 - Just like Santa, right? - How's that? 307 00:10:00,244 --> 00:10:01,713 You know, it's like Santa went up to the North Pole 308 00:10:01,737 --> 00:10:03,486 and he turned into a reindeer and then he came on down. 309 00:10:03,510 --> 00:10:04,517 That's exactly it. 310 00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:06,376 - Was it? - Yeah. At least we're alone. 311 00:10:06,401 --> 00:10:07,470 - Yeah. - I mean, no one's gonna 312 00:10:07,494 --> 00:10:09,116 find us out here in this barn. 313 00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:10,337 Ah, sorry! 314 00:10:10,362 --> 00:10:11,641 Oh, my God. Jacob! 315 00:10:11,666 --> 00:10:13,822 Do you guys have anything that I can gouge my eyes out with? 316 00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:15,985 - What's going on? - I saw my parents having sex. 317 00:10:16,017 --> 00:10:17,017 - Oh, yikes. - Wow. 318 00:10:17,042 --> 00:10:18,455 The whole house smelled like an iguana tank, 319 00:10:18,479 --> 00:10:20,145 and we do not have an iguana. 320 00:10:20,170 --> 00:10:21,477 Oh, God. 321 00:10:22,376 --> 00:10:24,548 Do not tell my parents that I'm here. 322 00:10:24,573 --> 00:10:26,248 - Hold on a second. - I'm never going home... 323 00:10:26,272 --> 00:10:28,181 This is ridiculous, because now we're not even alone. 324 00:10:28,205 --> 00:10:29,483 - No, I know! - So I'm gonna tell you right now, 325 00:10:29,484 --> 00:10:30,868 I'm going in to get some goose. 326 00:10:30,893 --> 00:10:33,852 I'll be damned if I don't get at least a goose leg. 327 00:10:33,877 --> 00:10:35,438 Yeah, I'll be damned if you're damned! 328 00:10:35,463 --> 00:10:36,774 Go get your goose, baby! 329 00:10:36,799 --> 00:10:38,298 I hate everything! 330 00:10:38,323 --> 00:10:40,493 - Uh, good luck with that. - Yeah. Thanks. 331 00:10:40,518 --> 00:10:42,051 Hey, Jacob, I'm coming up there, okay? 332 00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:43,109 No! 333 00:10:44,879 --> 00:10:46,407 Hey, buddy. 334 00:10:49,129 --> 00:10:50,462 Hi. 335 00:10:51,021 --> 00:10:52,320 I like your sweater. 336 00:10:52,345 --> 00:10:53,911 - Oh. - You look really pretty. 337 00:10:53,936 --> 00:10:55,774 Thanks, Jacob. Very sweet. 338 00:10:55,799 --> 00:10:57,993 - [SIGHS] - Listen, do you want to talk? 339 00:10:58,018 --> 00:10:59,993 My dad has so much hair on his back... 340 00:11:00,018 --> 00:11:01,719 ... and mom was using it like a handle. 341 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,634 - Ooh. - I saw both their tongues! 342 00:11:03,659 --> 00:11:04,776 - Oh, wow. - It looked like 343 00:11:04,801 --> 00:11:05,849 they were hurting each other, 344 00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,557 - but they were smiling. - Yeah, this is... 345 00:11:07,582 --> 00:11:09,573 - Is that regular? Is that normal? - Listen. 346 00:11:09,598 --> 00:11:11,143 I can't imagine what that's like. 347 00:11:11,168 --> 00:11:12,234 It's a lot. 348 00:11:12,259 --> 00:11:14,229 It's upsetting to process all this. 349 00:11:14,254 --> 00:11:15,628 Hey, do you want to go to Main Street 350 00:11:15,652 --> 00:11:16,718 and watch me do skids? 351 00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,604 - No, thank you. - I'm really awesome at them. 352 00:11:18,629 --> 00:11:19,823 - I'm sure. - Can I kiss you? 353 00:11:19,848 --> 00:11:21,596 No. No, no, no, no. 354 00:11:21,621 --> 00:11:23,449 - I think I'm in love with you. - Okay, you're not... 355 00:11:23,473 --> 00:11:24,987 No, no, no. I want to marry Janine. 356 00:11:25,012 --> 00:11:26,823 You've got a lot of emotions 357 00:11:26,848 --> 00:11:28,596 that are wrestling with each other. 358 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,822 - You got to process... - Rio, can I ask you a question? 359 00:11:30,847 --> 00:11:32,313 You can ask me a question. 360 00:11:32,338 --> 00:11:33,937 But if it has to do with kissing 361 00:11:33,962 --> 00:11:35,987 or anything romantic, the answer is no. 362 00:11:36,012 --> 00:11:37,698 Okay? So, that's not gonna change. 363 00:11:37,723 --> 00:11:39,143 What's your question? 364 00:11:41,850 --> 00:11:43,338 Merry Christmas. 365 00:11:43,363 --> 00:11:44,690 Merry Christmas. 366 00:11:44,876 --> 00:11:46,424 - Good question. - [DOOR OPENS] 367 00:11:46,449 --> 00:11:48,347 RUDY: That was back when I was a Wall Street bigwig. 368 00:11:48,371 --> 00:11:49,901 I rode around in a limo made of gold, 369 00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:52,174 which was very heavy and slow. 370 00:11:52,793 --> 00:11:54,596 - [SILVERWARE CLINKS SOFTLY] - He's stealing! 371 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:56,548 Aah! 372 00:11:56,573 --> 00:11:57,963 - Go get yourself a job! - Hey! 373 00:11:57,988 --> 00:11:59,587 You ought to be ashamed of yourself. 374 00:11:59,612 --> 00:12:01,502 Rudy does so much for you. 375 00:12:01,527 --> 00:12:04,284 And after you were irresponsible enough 376 00:12:04,309 --> 00:12:06,002 to lose your farm. 377 00:12:06,027 --> 00:12:08,127 You are pathetic. 378 00:12:11,237 --> 00:12:13,721 She's right. You're pathetic. 379 00:12:13,746 --> 00:12:15,088 You'll always be pathetic, 380 00:12:15,113 --> 00:12:16,914 living a life like that. 381 00:12:19,382 --> 00:12:21,024 You know, Belle... 382 00:12:21,862 --> 00:12:25,102 you may judge me for living in a barn, 383 00:12:25,127 --> 00:12:28,797 but I am way more than a list of the things I own. 384 00:12:28,822 --> 00:12:30,672 I'm an incredible person. 385 00:12:30,697 --> 00:12:32,211 And I think if you got to know me, 386 00:12:32,236 --> 00:12:34,815 you would love me the same way that Constance loves me. 387 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,846 What? You're in love with this guy, too? 388 00:12:36,871 --> 00:12:38,346 No, she needs to hear the truth. 389 00:12:38,378 --> 00:12:40,440 - Rudy... - I'm the one that lives in a barn. 390 00:12:40,465 --> 00:12:42,120 Mike and his wife, Rio, live here. 391 00:12:42,145 --> 00:12:43,768 I'm jobless, I have $10 to my name, 392 00:12:43,793 --> 00:12:45,237 and my best friend is a goat. 393 00:12:45,262 --> 00:12:47,627 Yesterday, I had a handful of loose sugar for dinner. 394 00:12:47,752 --> 00:12:51,120 Constance Lucretia Byrd Terry... 395 00:12:51,194 --> 00:12:52,557 I'm ashamed of you. 396 00:12:52,582 --> 00:12:53,982 Now box up that goose, 397 00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,955 get your things, and let's go. 398 00:12:55,980 --> 00:12:59,471 [WHEELCHAIR BEEPS, WHIRS, THUDS] 399 00:13:01,821 --> 00:13:04,221 [THUD] 400 00:13:04,246 --> 00:13:07,308 [WHEELCHAIR BEEPS, WHIRS] 401 00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:08,338 [OBJECT CRASHES] 402 00:13:08,363 --> 00:13:10,120 Rudy, she's just tired. 403 00:13:10,145 --> 00:13:12,088 She goes to bed at 3:00. 404 00:13:12,113 --> 00:13:13,651 I will calm her down. 405 00:13:13,676 --> 00:13:16,213 BELLE: Constance, don't make me wheel myself home. 406 00:13:16,238 --> 00:13:18,286 I'm sorry that I lied. I was ashamed. 407 00:13:18,311 --> 00:13:20,548 Those were very nice things you said about yourself. 408 00:13:20,573 --> 00:13:22,901 Yeah. I was talking about my friend Rudy. 409 00:13:22,926 --> 00:13:24,526 I thought so. I just wanted to be sure. 410 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:25,651 I've got some crying to do, 411 00:13:25,676 --> 00:13:26,855 and you probably don't want to hear that. 412 00:13:26,879 --> 00:13:28,229 Do you want this pillow? 413 00:13:28,261 --> 00:13:29,705 - Thank you. - Yeah. 414 00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:30,885 I'll leave you to it. 415 00:13:32,037 --> 00:13:34,302 [SOBBING] 416 00:13:34,588 --> 00:13:36,932 - Merry Christmas! - RIO: Your parents are here. 417 00:13:36,957 --> 00:13:38,549 JACOB: I've seen enough of them today! 418 00:13:38,574 --> 00:13:40,213 Son, just... just... Just come down here. 419 00:13:40,238 --> 00:13:41,824 - KAY: Jacob, this is ridiculous! - Come here. Come here. 420 00:13:41,848 --> 00:13:43,909 Nothing even happened. You were hallucinating. 421 00:13:43,934 --> 00:13:45,680 - I wish I was hallucinating! - Okay, okay. 422 00:13:45,705 --> 00:13:48,010 Li... Yeah, I think we should, you know, find truth 423 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,502 when speaking to our children. 424 00:13:49,527 --> 00:13:50,644 Are you guys getting back together? 425 00:13:50,668 --> 00:13:51,668 - No. - We're not? 426 00:13:51,693 --> 00:13:53,003 - Well, you tell me. - You tell me! 427 00:13:53,027 --> 00:13:54,932 I can't listen to this anymore! 428 00:13:54,957 --> 00:13:56,229 I'm never coming home, 429 00:13:56,254 --> 00:13:57,298 I'm going to Hollywood, 430 00:13:57,323 --> 00:13:58,846 and I'm gonna work in show business. 431 00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:00,171 The hell you are, boy! 432 00:14:00,196 --> 00:14:03,354 I'm gonna go to... to Wall Street and be on Broadway. 433 00:14:03,379 --> 00:14:04,596 Where are my savings bonds? 434 00:14:04,621 --> 00:14:06,158 - You're not going to show business... - Well... 435 00:14:06,182 --> 00:14:08,424 And you're not cashing those bonds until you're 21! 436 00:14:08,449 --> 00:14:10,139 We're gonna stay in this barn all night long! 437 00:14:10,163 --> 00:14:11,691 Do you hear me? We are never gonna leave! 438 00:14:11,715 --> 00:14:14,229 We're spending Christmas together, like a family! 439 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,221 We're never gonna talk about what happened! 440 00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:17,627 - Hey, now, boy! - Oh, my God. 441 00:14:17,652 --> 00:14:19,566 - You watch yourself! - That is a lot of anger. 442 00:14:19,591 --> 00:14:21,113 And I don't know where you get it! 443 00:14:21,138 --> 00:14:22,971 Stop that ladder right there! Put that back! 444 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,270 You leave that ladder right there! 445 00:14:24,294 --> 00:14:26,019 - This seems good. - [INDISTINCT ARGUING] 446 00:14:26,044 --> 00:14:27,659 - Kee... Stay in it. - You're not going to Hollywood! 447 00:14:27,683 --> 00:14:28,996 [ARGUING CONTINUES] 448 00:14:29,021 --> 00:14:31,769 I'll just run up there! Get out of my way! 449 00:14:34,877 --> 00:14:36,201 - Great news. - Okay. 450 00:14:36,226 --> 00:14:39,061 I found a Boston Market 40 minutes from here. 451 00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:41,342 Great, and you know what? They're gonna be fine. 452 00:14:41,367 --> 00:14:42,586 - They're fine. - They're... They're... 453 00:14:42,610 --> 00:14:44,330 - They're gonna manage this... - KAY: Jacob! 454 00:14:44,598 --> 00:14:45,993 - It's not... It's not what you think! - Jacob! 455 00:14:46,017 --> 00:14:47,196 - Don't you throttle that! - [ENGINE STARTS, REVS] 456 00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,253 Your mother was checking me for ticks! 457 00:14:50,819 --> 00:14:52,929 - Are you kidding me?! - You seduced me. 458 00:14:52,954 --> 00:14:54,024 - KAY: I couldn't help it! - Um... 459 00:14:54,048 --> 00:14:55,375 Came in hot with all those chores. 460 00:14:55,399 --> 00:14:57,196 What do you think I'm gonna do, keep my pants on? 461 00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:58,663 You got another think coming. 462 00:14:58,984 --> 00:15:01,671 Nothing like a long drive to a fast-food restaurant on Christmas, right? 463 00:15:01,695 --> 00:15:03,631 - That's right. That's right. - Whatever drama 464 00:15:03,656 --> 00:15:05,640 that they have going on is their drama exclusively. 465 00:15:05,664 --> 00:15:06,976 Yeah, that's them. That's them. 466 00:15:07,001 --> 00:15:08,993 - It's... It's not ours, so... - No. Everyone here is an adult. 467 00:15:09,017 --> 00:15:10,485 - I'm not taking it on. - We're guilt-free. 468 00:15:10,509 --> 00:15:11,789 - I'm not taking... - We'll go... 469 00:15:11,846 --> 00:15:13,765 - I can hear a dre... - We need a third 470 00:15:13,790 --> 00:15:15,141 - to go find Jacob! - I can hear Rudy 471 00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,844 crying inside your house! You gotta do something! 472 00:15:16,868 --> 00:15:17,874 - Okay. - ...Rio. 473 00:15:17,899 --> 00:15:18,927 Hey! 474 00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:20,047 - Let's at least take... - What's the holdup?! 475 00:15:20,071 --> 00:15:21,871 - ... five seconds of alone time. - Hey, guys! 476 00:15:22,611 --> 00:15:23,724 Guys. 477 00:15:23,749 --> 00:15:25,663 Please, we need you! 478 00:15:25,703 --> 00:15:26,797 - No, it's Christmas! - All right! 479 00:15:26,821 --> 00:15:28,719 - It ain't kissy time! - We don't have time for this! 480 00:15:28,743 --> 00:15:30,104 - Let's divide and conquer it. - Okay. 481 00:15:30,128 --> 00:15:31,532 - I'll do Constance... - You go to Connie's. I'm gonna get... 482 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:32,557 - Yeah, okay. Okay. - [KNOCK ON DOOR] 483 00:15:32,581 --> 00:15:33,773 - Oh, Mike. - Hi. 484 00:15:33,798 --> 00:15:36,234 Constance, uh, can we talk about this? 485 00:15:36,259 --> 00:15:37,836 Just keep it down. Mom's in the back room, 486 00:15:37,860 --> 00:15:40,124 watching "Succession" on her tablet. 487 00:15:40,149 --> 00:15:41,149 Please, how's Rudy? 488 00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:43,023 Tell him I'll talk to him after my mama leaves. 489 00:15:43,048 --> 00:15:45,562 You know how you usually give us tough love? 490 00:15:45,587 --> 00:15:47,468 Well, I'm here to give you some tough love. 491 00:15:47,493 --> 00:15:48,515 Pretend I'm you. 492 00:15:48,540 --> 00:15:50,960 Now, what would you tell you in this situation? 493 00:15:50,985 --> 00:15:53,367 I know I should stand up to my mama. 494 00:15:53,392 --> 00:15:55,640 But after not doing it for so many years, 495 00:15:55,665 --> 00:15:57,382 I don't know why I should start now. 496 00:15:57,407 --> 00:15:59,406 I think Rudy is... Is the "why." 497 00:15:59,431 --> 00:16:01,798 You know, if I'm you, I don't want to lose him. 498 00:16:01,823 --> 00:16:03,695 I thought I was being me. 499 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,120 Yes, exactly. You are being you. 500 00:16:06,153 --> 00:16:07,972 - Constance is Mike. - What? 501 00:16:07,997 --> 00:16:10,551 So what would Constance-you tell Mike-yourself? 502 00:16:10,745 --> 00:16:13,527 I'd say, "Constance, get your head out your ass." 503 00:16:13,552 --> 00:16:15,832 Boom. And it sounds so good when you say it. 504 00:16:15,857 --> 00:16:17,168 [SIGHS] 505 00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:18,912 - KAY: It just happened, okay, Beau? - BEAU: I know. 506 00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:19,943 I wasn't thinking about it. 507 00:16:19,967 --> 00:16:21,934 I just felt an urge, and I went for it, 508 00:16:21,959 --> 00:16:23,911 and you reciprocated, and there we were. 509 00:16:23,936 --> 00:16:25,896 Well, I just wish you would tell me what you want it to mean. 510 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,052 Well, I don't know what it means 511 00:16:27,076 --> 00:16:28,848 that we threw a nickel into the old arcade. 512 00:16:28,873 --> 00:16:30,443 - Guys, this is really good stuff. - [SIGHS] 513 00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:31,840 Don't be afraid to be vulnerable, 514 00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,145 because communication is the pathway to breakthrough. 515 00:16:34,170 --> 00:16:36,184 Your volume is so annoying. 516 00:16:36,209 --> 00:16:37,646 This is why people don't do therapy, 517 00:16:37,670 --> 00:16:38,881 'cause you're just [WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY] 518 00:16:38,905 --> 00:16:40,419 - I can't hear you! - If you regret it, 519 00:16:40,443 --> 00:16:42,192 just tell me, and I can handle it. 520 00:16:42,217 --> 00:16:44,426 I don't regret it, Beau. Oh, my God. 521 00:16:44,458 --> 00:16:46,348 There's one thing I'm sure of. I... 522 00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:48,282 I loved it. 523 00:16:48,460 --> 00:16:50,160 [CHUCKLING] You did? 524 00:16:50,278 --> 00:16:51,611 Yeah. 525 00:16:52,104 --> 00:16:53,379 So did I. 526 00:16:53,404 --> 00:16:54,888 - Rio, what does that mean? - Tell us what it means, huh? 527 00:16:54,912 --> 00:16:55,918 What... What's it mean? 528 00:16:55,943 --> 00:16:57,184 So, as a therapist, 529 00:16:57,209 --> 00:16:59,262 it's not my job to kinda tell you how you feel. 530 00:16:59,287 --> 00:17:00,379 That's up to you. 531 00:17:00,404 --> 00:17:02,076 Then why the hell would anyone go to a therapist? 532 00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:04,167 And then why do they call you guys "life's referee"? 533 00:17:04,192 --> 00:17:05,262 They don't. 534 00:17:05,287 --> 00:17:07,326 - Rio, just tell us what it means! - Just tell us, please. 535 00:17:07,350 --> 00:17:08,595 - Stop. - Why are you putting us through this? 536 00:17:08,619 --> 00:17:10,357 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. [SNAPS FINGERS] Jacob. 537 00:17:10,381 --> 00:17:11,382 - There he is. - BEAU AND KAY: Oh! 538 00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:13,387 See, he's doing the sad-boy donuts over there. 539 00:17:13,738 --> 00:17:15,237 Just pull over. 540 00:17:15,262 --> 00:17:16,872 Guys, you can just be glad that it happened, 541 00:17:16,896 --> 00:17:18,996 be open to your future, and keep communicating, okay? 542 00:17:19,021 --> 00:17:20,770 - Finally. - Took you long enough. 543 00:17:21,366 --> 00:17:22,371 - Guys. - Huh? 544 00:17:22,396 --> 00:17:24,162 This is where you go talk to Jacob. 545 00:17:24,187 --> 00:17:25,187 [SIGHS] 546 00:17:26,538 --> 00:17:27,773 - Guys. - What? 547 00:17:27,798 --> 00:17:28,913 Go. Talk to him. 548 00:17:28,938 --> 00:17:29,938 [GROANS] 549 00:17:29,963 --> 00:17:31,672 It's gonna be hard to make eye contact with him 550 00:17:31,696 --> 00:17:32,976 after he saw what we were doing. 551 00:17:33,001 --> 00:17:34,835 It was something I saw on Facebook. 552 00:17:34,860 --> 00:17:35,866 I reported it, 553 00:17:35,891 --> 00:17:37,476 but then it really stuck with me. 554 00:17:38,435 --> 00:17:39,452 BELLE: Wait. 555 00:17:39,477 --> 00:17:40,741 What's he doing here? 556 00:17:40,766 --> 00:17:42,429 It's that son of a bitch with the goose. 557 00:17:42,454 --> 00:17:44,587 Mama, there's something you need to hear. 558 00:17:44,712 --> 00:17:47,937 - Rudy is a fantastic man who's... - [DOOR OPENS] 559 00:17:47,962 --> 00:17:49,718 Constance, I'm sorry for the intrusion. 560 00:17:49,743 --> 00:17:51,773 Mrs. Byrd, I do have an asset... 561 00:17:51,798 --> 00:17:53,632 A Lou Gehrig baseball card in mint condition. 562 00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:56,187 It would go for $3- or $4 million. 563 00:17:56,212 --> 00:17:57,457 And I know it's real because I bought it 564 00:17:57,481 --> 00:18:00,030 from a reliable young man in a tie-dye blazer. 565 00:18:00,055 --> 00:18:02,823 Constance, this man cannot take care of you. 566 00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:07,151 The value of baseball cards is plummeting every day. 567 00:18:07,309 --> 00:18:08,791 You've met Rio's mom. 568 00:18:08,816 --> 00:18:11,065 If I can do that, you can do this. 569 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,268 [INHALES DEEPLY] 570 00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:14,861 No, Mom. 571 00:18:15,213 --> 00:18:17,635 I don't need a man to take care of me. 572 00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:19,038 You should know because you taught me 573 00:18:19,062 --> 00:18:20,323 how to take care of myself. 574 00:18:20,348 --> 00:18:22,014 The only thing I need from a man is love, 575 00:18:22,039 --> 00:18:24,916 and he's got... he's got plenty of that to give. 576 00:18:24,941 --> 00:18:26,877 Oh. [CHUCKLES] 577 00:18:26,902 --> 00:18:28,268 So back off... 578 00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,799 ma'am. 579 00:18:31,580 --> 00:18:33,721 Also, ma'am, and I can't say this enough, 580 00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,646 there was no need for you to see my genitals. 581 00:18:35,671 --> 00:18:37,643 That is, and shall remain, my bad. 582 00:18:37,668 --> 00:18:40,747 Constance, I cannot believe you're defying me. 583 00:18:40,772 --> 00:18:42,708 But love is love, apparently. 584 00:18:42,733 --> 00:18:45,708 Otherwise, I don't know why you would choose him. 585 00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:48,233 Well, I guess I do know one reason. 586 00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:51,020 That was quite the Christmas bow. 587 00:18:51,045 --> 00:18:52,045 [CLICKS TONGUE] 588 00:18:52,070 --> 00:18:54,504 I see you, girl. I see you. 589 00:18:54,529 --> 00:19:01,403 ♪ Have yourself a merry little Christmas ♪ 590 00:19:01,903 --> 00:19:07,731 ♪ Let your heart be light ♪ 591 00:19:08,257 --> 00:19:12,387 ♪ Next year, all our troubles ♪ 592 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:18,208 ♪ Will be out of sight ♪ 593 00:19:29,579 --> 00:19:31,727 This is nice, you know. Just the two of us. 594 00:19:31,752 --> 00:19:35,209 Yeah, all alone... just you, me, and... and a goose. 595 00:19:35,234 --> 00:19:36,312 That's what we wanted, right? 596 00:19:36,336 --> 00:19:38,358 - That was our Christmas wish, right? - Yeah. 597 00:19:38,383 --> 00:19:39,975 And Chris... Christmas, you get a wish, right? 598 00:19:39,999 --> 00:19:40,999 Don't you get a wish? 599 00:19:41,024 --> 00:19:42,756 Yeah, you... You get a Christmas wish. 600 00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:43,992 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 601 00:19:45,039 --> 00:19:48,774 Hmm. [SIGHS] 602 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,286 - Do you miss them at all? - Yes! 603 00:19:54,311 --> 00:19:55,944 [LAUGHTER] 604 00:19:55,969 --> 00:19:59,788 Four extra deer, and he said Santa... Santa's been drinking again. 605 00:19:59,813 --> 00:20:00,961 [LAUGHTER] 606 00:20:00,986 --> 00:20:03,337 Well, he broke the law. Santa broke the law. 607 00:20:03,362 --> 00:20:05,468 BEAU: I have not heard that one. 608 00:20:05,493 --> 00:20:06,647 How you doing, buddy? 609 00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:08,249 - Oh, I'm fine. - Mm-hmm. 610 00:20:08,274 --> 00:20:10,631 I really like your apron. It's got nice eyes. 611 00:20:10,656 --> 00:20:11,747 - MIKE: Okay, there, Jacob. - Oh. Okay. [CHUCKLES] 612 00:20:11,771 --> 00:20:13,585 I brought the custard I made. 613 00:20:13,610 --> 00:20:15,483 Time has not been kind to it. It's a bit runny. 614 00:20:15,508 --> 00:20:17,885 It's more of a nog than a pie, but it looks delicious. 615 00:20:17,910 --> 00:20:20,055 - It is like a nog. - I can't wait to ladle out some. 616 00:20:20,171 --> 00:20:22,023 - Hey, hey, hey! - Hup! Hup! Hup! 617 00:20:22,048 --> 00:20:23,113 Hup! Hup! 618 00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:25,502 I can't believe we were gonna do this alone. 619 00:20:25,527 --> 00:20:28,478 I know. This is the perfect first Bucksnort Christmas. 620 00:20:28,503 --> 00:20:29,503 [GLASS CLINKS] 621 00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:32,721 I am so thankful to be here with Rudy... 622 00:20:32,746 --> 00:20:34,279 my mom, and all of you. 623 00:20:34,304 --> 00:20:35,777 - Aww. - My family. 624 00:20:36,097 --> 00:20:37,136 Thanks. 625 00:20:37,161 --> 00:20:38,933 You think we're family? 626 00:20:38,958 --> 00:20:40,456 - Well, duh. - Yes. Yes. 627 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,292 To family? 628 00:20:43,317 --> 00:20:45,136 - I like that. Sure. - To family. 629 00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,769 - Family. - Hear, hear. 630 00:20:47,870 --> 00:20:49,222 Rudy. 631 00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:51,425 When do we get to eat this goat? 632 00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:52,956 - [THERESA BLEATS] - CONSTANCE: No. 633 00:20:52,981 --> 00:20:54,199 Manners, Theresa. 634 00:20:54,224 --> 00:20:55,316 Eat your Christmas turnip. 635 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,074 - [LAUGHTER] - RIO: What? 46948

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.