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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,644 --> 00:00:25,644 Subtitles by explosiveskull @ subs4free.info 2 00:00:26,102 --> 00:00:27,769 I'm going on holiday. 3 00:00:28,503 --> 00:00:29,871 To the Europe. 4 00:00:29,906 --> 00:00:31,406 My little Europa. 5 00:00:31,439 --> 00:00:33,242 ♪ You know that I love you baby 6 00:00:33,276 --> 00:00:34,776 ♪ You know that I love you baby 7 00:00:34,809 --> 00:00:36,578 Good morning, good morning. 8 00:00:36,611 --> 00:00:38,613 Guess what day it is? 9 00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,349 ♪ You know that I love you baby 10 00:00:40,383 --> 00:00:43,052 - It's holiday day. - Europe day. 11 00:00:44,452 --> 00:00:46,721 Packing up the old les bagages. 12 00:00:47,323 --> 00:00:48,891 ♪ Baby 13 00:00:49,457 --> 00:00:51,260 ♪ Baby 14 00:00:51,294 --> 00:00:53,828 ♪ Baby Oh ho ho oh 15 00:00:55,164 --> 00:00:56,698 ♪ Baby 16 00:00:56,731 --> 00:00:57,766 ♪ Baby 17 00:00:57,799 --> 00:01:01,603 ♪ You know it's time Oh yeah baby 18 00:01:01,636 --> 00:01:03,471 ♪ You know that I love you baby 19 00:01:03,505 --> 00:01:05,473 ♪ You know that I love you baby 20 00:01:05,507 --> 00:01:07,276 ♪ You know that I love you baby 21 00:01:07,310 --> 00:01:09,345 ♪ Oh ho ho oh 22 00:01:09,378 --> 00:01:10,947 ♪ You know that I love you baby 23 00:01:10,980 --> 00:01:12,781 ♪ You know that I love you baby 24 00:01:12,814 --> 00:01:16,518 ♪ You know it's time Oh yeah baby 25 00:01:16,551 --> 00:01:20,455 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 26 00:01:20,488 --> 00:01:22,425 ♪ You know that I love you baby 27 00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,360 ♪ You know that I love you baby 28 00:01:24,393 --> 00:01:25,928 ♪ You know that I love you baby 29 00:01:25,962 --> 00:01:27,897 ♪ You know that I love you baby 30 00:01:27,930 --> 00:01:29,798 ♪ You know that I love you baby 31 00:01:29,831 --> 00:01:31,833 ♪ You know that I love you baby 32 00:01:31,866 --> 00:01:33,568 ♪ You know that I love you baby 33 00:01:33,601 --> 00:01:35,704 ♪ You know that I love you baby 34 00:01:35,737 --> 00:01:37,373 ♪ You know that I love you baby 35 00:01:37,406 --> 00:01:39,308 ♪ Oh ho ho oh 36 00:01:39,342 --> 00:01:41,143 ♪ You know that I love you baby 37 00:01:41,177 --> 00:01:42,878 ♪ You know that I love you baby 38 00:01:42,912 --> 00:01:46,514 ♪ You know it's time Oh yeah ♪ 39 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,991 - Look, it's not, it's not you. - Ta! 40 00:01:56,025 --> 00:01:57,893 - It... - Ta! Don't do that. 41 00:01:59,228 --> 00:02:00,595 I get it. 42 00:02:01,030 --> 00:02:02,431 I get it. 43 00:02:04,266 --> 00:02:07,970 We are a half hour into a ten day trip around Europe. 44 00:02:08,004 --> 00:02:10,638 And you decide now is a good time to bring it up. 45 00:02:12,475 --> 00:02:14,576 I'm wearing shorts, yeah? 46 00:02:15,978 --> 00:02:17,579 With these legs. 47 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,950 I spent about 20 quid on sun cream. 48 00:02:20,983 --> 00:02:22,051 That's like... 49 00:02:22,952 --> 00:02:24,086 That's ten pound per leg. 50 00:02:25,988 --> 00:02:28,290 I spent three weeks growing this beard. 51 00:02:28,324 --> 00:02:29,724 This here beard. 52 00:02:30,226 --> 00:02:31,626 Cultivating it. 53 00:02:32,794 --> 00:02:33,628 Length. 54 00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:35,530 And now you decide to tell me 55 00:02:35,563 --> 00:02:36,765 you don't like it. 56 00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,567 Okay, I'm very sorry. 57 00:02:39,601 --> 00:02:41,470 I didn't know it meant that much to you. 58 00:02:41,504 --> 00:02:44,106 I grew this beard because it's trendy. 59 00:02:45,174 --> 00:02:46,509 It makes me trendy. 60 00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:49,478 You're not trendy. 61 00:02:49,512 --> 00:02:52,281 You're just jealous 'cause you can't grow a beard. 62 00:02:52,314 --> 00:02:53,482 Yeah. 63 00:02:54,316 --> 00:02:55,518 Yeah. 64 00:02:56,618 --> 00:02:57,987 But you know what I can do? 65 00:02:59,288 --> 00:03:01,556 I can grow everything else. 66 00:03:05,961 --> 00:03:07,930 What do you mean? 67 00:03:07,963 --> 00:03:12,368 Well, I mean, I just won't shave anything. 68 00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:15,538 For... the rest of the trip? 69 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,839 You know, not my, not my legs. 70 00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,076 Not my armpits. 71 00:03:21,177 --> 00:03:22,677 Not my vagina. 72 00:03:26,449 --> 00:03:28,683 But what do you hope to achieve by doing that? 73 00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:31,887 Nothing. 74 00:03:34,523 --> 00:03:36,058 You're just being childish. 75 00:03:36,992 --> 00:03:38,160 Fine. 76 00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:42,664 I'm not shaving. 77 00:04:52,902 --> 00:04:54,904 That'll do. Just a little trim. 78 00:05:18,826 --> 00:05:20,795 Hello, Mum. No. 79 00:05:25,234 --> 00:05:26,635 Bow chicka wow wow. 80 00:05:26,669 --> 00:05:27,869 Oh, stop it. 81 00:05:35,678 --> 00:05:37,546 - What are you doing? - What? 82 00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,915 You're filming me? 83 00:05:39,949 --> 00:05:41,584 I thought that's why we bought the camera. 84 00:05:41,617 --> 00:05:44,553 No, we did not buy a GoPro to film a sex tape. 85 00:05:44,587 --> 00:05:46,922 - Then why did we buy it? - You know why we bought it. 86 00:05:46,956 --> 00:05:48,257 To document our trip. 87 00:05:48,290 --> 00:05:50,526 Oh, brilliant. 88 00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:57,066 - Is that it, then? - What do you think? 89 00:05:57,099 --> 00:05:59,068 - But I've got a hard-on. - Good night, Chris. 90 00:06:03,005 --> 00:06:04,173 I love you. 91 00:06:08,210 --> 00:06:09,511 Now you're putting me off, mate. 92 00:06:10,546 --> 00:06:11,947 You're putting me right off. 93 00:06:16,685 --> 00:06:18,053 Just me and you now. 94 00:06:20,122 --> 00:06:21,590 Welcome to France. 95 00:06:22,824 --> 00:06:23,825 Bonjour. 96 00:06:24,826 --> 00:06:25,793 Ca va? 97 00:06:28,330 --> 00:06:29,764 Shower cap in France. 98 00:06:41,744 --> 00:06:43,379 Didn't think to put on pants? 99 00:06:43,412 --> 00:06:44,812 I panicked. 100 00:06:56,525 --> 00:06:58,427 Here we are in Paris. 101 00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,729 Bonsoir. 102 00:07:00,763 --> 00:07:02,830 - Oh, bonjour! - Bonjour. 103 00:07:02,864 --> 00:07:03,966 Bonjour. 104 00:08:20,509 --> 00:08:22,344 Well, Nice seems lovely. 105 00:08:22,378 --> 00:08:24,747 Don't start, Chris. I'm not in the mood. 106 00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:27,116 - For what? - For you being a sarcy twat. 107 00:08:27,449 --> 00:08:28,550 Sorry. 108 00:08:30,352 --> 00:08:31,453 Do people actually live in Nice? 109 00:08:31,487 --> 00:08:33,822 What did I say? 110 00:08:33,856 --> 00:08:36,024 It's late. Everyone's in bed, which is where we should be. 111 00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:40,329 Should we just start walking or something? 112 00:08:40,362 --> 00:08:41,397 Walking where? 113 00:08:41,430 --> 00:08:43,031 I don't know, find the nearest hostel. 114 00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,366 What, just walk in a random direction 115 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,702 - and hope to find a hostel? - Yeah. 116 00:08:48,337 --> 00:08:50,038 What do you think, left or right? 117 00:08:51,974 --> 00:08:53,108 Left? 118 00:08:56,211 --> 00:08:57,246 We'll go right, then. 119 00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:26,876 - Bonsoir. - Bonsoir. 120 00:09:26,910 --> 00:09:28,878 Um, you got a room for the night? 121 00:09:28,912 --> 00:09:30,078 Nice eyes. 122 00:09:30,914 --> 00:09:32,247 Thanks. 123 00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:33,649 There are tours... 124 00:09:35,184 --> 00:09:36,618 Is that your boyfriend? 125 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,455 Yeah. 126 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:46,695 It's cozy, innit? 127 00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:52,634 Brilliant. 128 00:10:00,409 --> 00:10:01,710 Lucy? 129 00:10:05,247 --> 00:10:06,515 ♪ Lucy 130 00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:09,985 Lucy? 131 00:10:12,287 --> 00:10:13,121 What? 132 00:10:15,390 --> 00:10:18,928 Well... I was thinking, 133 00:10:20,128 --> 00:10:21,296 while I'm up here... 134 00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,832 Chris, you are literally 5 foot off the ground. 135 00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:26,001 I know, but... 136 00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,570 You can drown in an inch of water. 137 00:10:29,638 --> 00:10:31,507 What's that got to do with anything? 138 00:10:33,977 --> 00:10:35,010 Well I was thinking... 139 00:10:36,913 --> 00:10:38,847 What if I do a wizz in the middle of the night, 140 00:10:40,582 --> 00:10:43,585 and it trickles down into your mouth and drowns you? 141 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,523 Do you ever think about anything you say 142 00:10:47,556 --> 00:10:48,892 before you actually say it? 143 00:10:50,259 --> 00:10:51,460 Not really. No. 144 00:10:52,794 --> 00:10:54,630 Our lives would just be 145 00:10:54,663 --> 00:10:57,065 really long, awkward silences, wouldn't they? 146 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,838 Trust me, it's just as awkward without them. 147 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:09,511 Lucy? 148 00:11:12,814 --> 00:11:13,983 I do love you. 149 00:11:15,551 --> 00:11:16,785 I do love you. 150 00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:22,491 Night, Lucy. 151 00:11:24,426 --> 00:11:25,661 Night, Chris. 152 00:11:30,766 --> 00:11:33,235 Should we get a hotel? No, get a hostel. 153 00:11:34,136 --> 00:11:35,537 Equality. 154 00:11:39,008 --> 00:11:40,475 Okay, now. 155 00:11:40,509 --> 00:11:42,244 Okay. I love you. 156 00:11:43,046 --> 00:11:44,613 Bye. Bye. 157 00:11:45,949 --> 00:11:47,115 Um, thanks. 158 00:11:47,516 --> 00:11:49,251 No worries. 159 00:11:49,284 --> 00:11:50,586 Do you wanna boom-boom? 160 00:11:50,987 --> 00:11:52,087 Excuse me? 161 00:11:53,822 --> 00:11:55,058 Um... 162 00:11:57,326 --> 00:11:58,460 No. 163 00:11:58,493 --> 00:12:00,029 Chris? 164 00:12:00,063 --> 00:12:00,897 What? 165 00:12:03,398 --> 00:12:04,633 The guy downstairs just asked me 166 00:12:04,666 --> 00:12:06,168 if I wanted to boom-boom him. 167 00:12:06,201 --> 00:12:07,402 He did what? 168 00:12:07,436 --> 00:12:09,204 Fucking boom-boom my girlfriend. 169 00:12:09,871 --> 00:12:10,974 Foreign prick. 170 00:12:20,984 --> 00:12:23,086 Defending someone's honor in a minute. 171 00:12:24,553 --> 00:12:27,155 How rude. 172 00:12:27,189 --> 00:12:28,590 How fucking rude. 173 00:12:37,332 --> 00:12:38,767 Scuzi. 174 00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:45,173 Did you just ask to boom-boom my girlfriend? 175 00:12:45,207 --> 00:12:46,408 - Yeah. - Just like that? 176 00:12:46,441 --> 00:12:47,476 Not even gonna deny it? 177 00:12:47,509 --> 00:12:49,078 Why would I deny it? 178 00:12:49,112 --> 00:12:50,079 'Cause she's my girlfriend. 179 00:12:50,113 --> 00:12:51,680 - I want to boom-boom her. - Stop saying that. 180 00:12:51,713 --> 00:12:53,082 I'm gonna boom-boom you. 181 00:12:53,116 --> 00:12:54,449 - You wanna fuck me? - No. 182 00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:55,985 Boom-boom. Boom-boom you up. 183 00:12:56,019 --> 00:12:57,519 - Are you gay? - What? No. 184 00:12:57,552 --> 00:12:59,521 I don't want to boom-boom you. 185 00:12:59,554 --> 00:13:00,722 I want to boom-boom you up. 186 00:13:00,756 --> 00:13:02,357 - Smash your face in. Kick your arse. - Kiss? 187 00:13:02,391 --> 00:13:03,258 - Kick. - Lick? 188 00:13:03,291 --> 00:13:04,393 Not lick, kick. 189 00:13:04,426 --> 00:13:06,194 - Are you guy? - No, I'm not gay. 190 00:13:06,228 --> 00:13:07,696 It's okay. Does your girlfriend know? 191 00:13:07,729 --> 00:13:09,865 Say I'm gay again. Go on, I dare you. 192 00:13:09,899 --> 00:13:11,199 I double dare you. 193 00:13:13,802 --> 00:13:14,904 Gay. 194 00:13:16,405 --> 00:13:17,839 - Get off, - Get up! 195 00:13:17,873 --> 00:13:20,442 Don't pull it! 196 00:13:20,475 --> 00:13:21,843 Ow! 197 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,747 Oh, my God! 198 00:13:26,815 --> 00:13:29,118 Lucy, he won't let me go. 199 00:13:31,420 --> 00:13:33,122 Chris, what the fuck are you doing? 200 00:13:51,074 --> 00:13:52,108 So? 201 00:13:52,141 --> 00:13:53,308 They put a finger up my arse. 202 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:57,146 You get into a fight and they put a finger up my arse. 203 00:13:57,180 --> 00:13:58,014 How does that work? 204 00:13:58,580 --> 00:14:00,248 Oh, my God! 205 00:14:00,282 --> 00:14:01,984 - Are you okay? - It's not funny. 206 00:14:02,684 --> 00:14:03,886 And they fine me. 207 00:14:04,786 --> 00:14:07,289 - Five hundred euro. - Five hundred euros? 208 00:14:07,322 --> 00:14:08,958 Well, that's like half our budget. 209 00:14:08,991 --> 00:14:11,127 - I know. - It's mental. 210 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,861 Shit. What are we gonna do? 211 00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,796 I think I dislodged my anus. 212 00:14:14,830 --> 00:14:15,864 Is that even possible? 213 00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:17,166 Chris, come on. This is serious. 214 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,400 I'm being serious. 215 00:14:18,433 --> 00:14:20,635 Five hundred euros for a finger up me arse. 216 00:14:20,669 --> 00:14:22,171 And the French have got big fingers. 217 00:14:23,638 --> 00:14:26,842 Look, I'll see if my mom can transfer that money. 218 00:14:26,876 --> 00:14:28,911 - You think she will? - Of course she will. 219 00:14:31,546 --> 00:14:34,150 All right then. Okay. 220 00:14:34,183 --> 00:14:35,151 Hold on. 221 00:14:36,618 --> 00:14:38,854 Yeah. Right, brilliant. 222 00:14:38,888 --> 00:14:40,789 I love you. Love you. Bye, bye. 223 00:14:43,325 --> 00:14:44,559 What's that? 224 00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:46,062 It's all they had. 225 00:14:46,095 --> 00:14:47,163 Oh, give it here. 226 00:14:49,831 --> 00:14:51,333 Well? 227 00:14:51,366 --> 00:14:53,435 She wasn't in. I left a message. 228 00:14:53,468 --> 00:14:54,904 Oh, great so we just sort of stand here 229 00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:56,973 and wait until she ring us back, then, shall we, dickhead? 230 00:14:57,006 --> 00:14:59,574 I left a message explaining the situation. 231 00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:02,211 Also to transfer 500 euros into our account. 232 00:15:02,245 --> 00:15:04,080 Said I'd call back a bit later. 233 00:15:04,113 --> 00:15:05,814 I should really get some credit for this thing. 234 00:15:07,216 --> 00:15:08,217 Dick brain. 235 00:15:10,552 --> 00:15:11,820 You tell her you got arrested? 236 00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:15,258 It was a message. I left a message. 237 00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:17,492 Yeah, but how did you say that we lost the money? 238 00:15:17,526 --> 00:15:18,627 It was a message. 239 00:15:18,660 --> 00:15:20,328 But what did you say? 240 00:15:20,362 --> 00:15:21,530 It was a message. 241 00:15:21,563 --> 00:15:23,398 Do you not understand the concept of a message? 242 00:15:23,431 --> 00:15:24,566 You're trying to be funny? 243 00:15:24,599 --> 00:15:26,434 Just had a finger up my arse, yeah? 244 00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:27,937 Just had to ring my mum to ask for some money. 245 00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,704 If that's not funny then what is? 246 00:15:32,074 --> 00:15:33,642 All right, fine. 247 00:15:33,675 --> 00:15:35,111 What do you wanna do until then? 248 00:15:36,344 --> 00:15:38,281 - All right, pub? - Pub. 249 00:15:42,384 --> 00:15:43,886 You know, I was talking to my mum 250 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,888 and she thinks that a trip like this 251 00:15:45,922 --> 00:15:47,489 is gonna make us or break us. 252 00:15:47,522 --> 00:15:48,590 - Oh, really? - Mmm-hmm. 253 00:15:48,623 --> 00:15:49,926 What about you? 254 00:15:49,959 --> 00:15:51,660 Do you think same as your mum? 255 00:15:51,693 --> 00:15:54,997 I think that we've been together for quite long time, so. 256 00:15:56,132 --> 00:15:58,301 I think if we can't last a couple of weeks together, 257 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,368 we're up shit creek, really, aren't we? 258 00:16:01,469 --> 00:16:02,737 Right, then. 259 00:16:02,771 --> 00:16:04,207 Let's say we drink a couple of these bad boys and... 260 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:06,842 have a look around this shit hole. 261 00:16:55,790 --> 00:16:57,459 - Orange gina. - Orangina. 262 00:16:57,492 --> 00:16:58,727 Orange gina. 263 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,196 Listen to me. Orangina. 264 00:17:00,229 --> 00:17:02,397 Listen to me. Orange gina. 265 00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:03,933 How can you not hear that that's not the same? 266 00:17:03,966 --> 00:17:06,735 Allo. Uh, order. 267 00:17:06,768 --> 00:17:10,405 Oh. Check this out. 268 00:17:10,438 --> 00:17:14,944 We would like to order some lunch, 269 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,711 s'il vous plait. 270 00:17:19,481 --> 00:17:20,615 Come again? 271 00:17:23,152 --> 00:17:25,754 Um... 272 00:17:25,787 --> 00:17:28,958 I will let my girlfriend take over from me. 273 00:17:29,858 --> 00:17:30,893 All yours. 274 00:17:31,394 --> 00:17:32,861 Um... 275 00:17:40,970 --> 00:17:42,104 Yeah, oui, mate. 276 00:17:42,138 --> 00:17:43,805 Kapti proti pu. 277 00:17:44,639 --> 00:17:45,640 D'accord. 278 00:17:46,275 --> 00:17:47,676 Merci. 279 00:17:47,709 --> 00:17:49,045 What did you order, anyway? 280 00:17:57,519 --> 00:17:58,955 Just the four fish, then? 281 00:18:15,570 --> 00:18:17,440 Fucking hell, it's beautiful, isn't it? 282 00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:20,042 Which I can't believe we just found it. 283 00:18:20,076 --> 00:18:22,510 I-I can't believe I'm seeing it with you. 284 00:18:22,544 --> 00:18:24,113 Shut up! 285 00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:27,316 No, I wouldn't do anything like this without you, would I? 286 00:18:27,350 --> 00:18:30,618 'Cause I'm, like, just a fucking idiot all the time. 287 00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:34,156 Poncing around like a bloody dinosaur. 288 00:18:38,626 --> 00:18:39,895 Run away, run away. 289 00:18:39,929 --> 00:18:41,563 Oh, you make me laugh, you idiot. 290 00:18:46,135 --> 00:18:47,436 After you. 291 00:20:54,497 --> 00:20:56,165 I can't see any al fresco on this menu. 292 00:20:58,067 --> 00:20:59,634 What? What do you mean? 293 00:21:00,369 --> 00:21:01,703 Al fresco. 294 00:21:01,736 --> 00:21:03,939 A mate wanted to eat al fresco 295 00:21:03,973 --> 00:21:05,608 when you go to a foreign land. 296 00:21:07,675 --> 00:21:11,580 Yeah, but Chris, you know that's not a dish, right? 297 00:21:11,614 --> 00:21:13,781 That's just eating outside. 298 00:21:14,984 --> 00:21:16,851 - Oh. - Yeah. 299 00:21:16,886 --> 00:21:19,255 - Fucking hell. - Thought it was some sort of salad. 300 00:21:32,867 --> 00:21:35,638 Oh, okay we're in. We're in. How do, how we do this? 301 00:21:35,670 --> 00:21:37,072 Just, just kiss me. 302 00:21:39,408 --> 00:21:41,277 Ooh, ooh, ooh! Fuck me in the toilet. 303 00:21:41,310 --> 00:21:42,777 We've never done that. 304 00:21:43,711 --> 00:21:45,713 I've got a dress on so it'll be really easy. 305 00:21:46,714 --> 00:21:48,984 Just hike it up. You know what I mean? 306 00:21:49,018 --> 00:21:50,286 Okay. 307 00:21:55,790 --> 00:21:57,560 - Shit. Ah. - Ah, shit. 308 00:21:57,593 --> 00:21:59,861 Oh, you look amazing. Ah, shit. 309 00:21:59,895 --> 00:22:01,564 - Yeah, shit. - Yeah. 310 00:22:01,597 --> 00:22:02,932 - Oh, shit. - Oh, my God. 311 00:22:02,965 --> 00:22:04,567 I can't believe we're doing this. 312 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,069 Oh, shit. Ah, shit. 313 00:22:07,102 --> 00:22:09,638 - Oh shit, oh shit. Oh shit! - Ah shit, yeah. 314 00:22:09,672 --> 00:22:12,107 - Oh shit. Oh... - What you mean? What you mean? 315 00:22:12,141 --> 00:22:13,775 Oh my God! Shit! 316 00:22:13,808 --> 00:22:17,479 - Oh, shit. - Look I love you, but I can't unsee this. 317 00:22:17,513 --> 00:22:19,747 - Oh! I need to get out. - No. 318 00:22:19,781 --> 00:22:20,916 - I need to get out. - No. 319 00:22:20,950 --> 00:22:22,585 No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't you dare! 320 00:22:22,618 --> 00:22:23,818 - I've got to get out. - No! No. 321 00:22:23,851 --> 00:22:25,321 - Don't you dare get out! - I've got to get out. 322 00:22:25,354 --> 00:22:26,721 - You can't... Chris, stop! - I've got to get out. 323 00:22:26,754 --> 00:22:28,057 - Stop, stop... - I've got to get out. 324 00:22:28,090 --> 00:22:29,558 Please, I've got it pouring out of me. 325 00:22:29,592 --> 00:22:30,626 - Oh! - Oh, God! 326 00:22:30,659 --> 00:22:31,660 Ugh, it's so bad. 327 00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:39,935 No! Stop it. 328 00:22:39,969 --> 00:22:41,170 Stop it. Oh, God! 329 00:22:41,203 --> 00:22:43,272 Ah, it's still coming. God, it's still coming. 330 00:22:43,305 --> 00:22:44,340 It's like lava. 331 00:22:44,373 --> 00:22:45,873 Ugh, oh, God! 332 00:22:48,843 --> 00:22:50,512 Oh, my God, I cannot believe 333 00:22:50,546 --> 00:22:52,847 that we just got chucked off a train. Fuck! 334 00:22:54,617 --> 00:22:56,252 It's not like having a shit's illegal. 335 00:22:56,751 --> 00:22:58,520 Well, it should be. 336 00:22:58,554 --> 00:23:00,189 I've never smelled anything like that. 337 00:23:00,222 --> 00:23:01,957 Oh, thanks for the sympathy. 338 00:23:01,991 --> 00:23:03,825 How can I sympathize with that shit? 339 00:23:05,594 --> 00:23:07,029 I'm hungry. 340 00:23:07,062 --> 00:23:09,331 - Can you pass me your bag? - Why? 341 00:23:09,365 --> 00:23:10,466 I want to get a chocolate bar. 342 00:23:10,499 --> 00:23:12,767 Ugh, God, can't you just wait for the train? 343 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,069 It's like a four hour wait. 344 00:23:17,072 --> 00:23:18,907 Ugh, don't wanna get them out of my bag. 345 00:23:20,509 --> 00:23:21,809 You ate them all, didn't you? 346 00:23:23,379 --> 00:23:24,779 What? 347 00:23:24,812 --> 00:23:26,015 You ate all the chocolate bars. 348 00:23:26,048 --> 00:23:28,317 No, I did not eat all the fucking chocolate bars! 349 00:23:28,350 --> 00:23:30,252 You so did. That's your lying face. 350 00:23:30,286 --> 00:23:31,520 I don't have a lying face. 351 00:23:31,553 --> 00:23:33,889 Everybody has a lying face, and that's yours. 352 00:23:38,027 --> 00:23:39,662 All right, maybe I did eat a few. 353 00:23:40,362 --> 00:23:42,331 I was hungry in the night. 354 00:23:42,364 --> 00:23:43,798 Fucking hell! 355 00:23:43,831 --> 00:23:46,101 There were like ten chocolate bars in there. 356 00:23:46,135 --> 00:23:47,169 No wonder you shit yourself. 357 00:23:47,202 --> 00:23:49,104 There were not like ten chocolate bars in there. 358 00:23:49,138 --> 00:23:50,838 - How many were there, then? - I don't know. 359 00:23:52,007 --> 00:23:53,075 Nine? 360 00:23:53,108 --> 00:23:54,910 You ate nine whole chocolate bars? 361 00:23:55,978 --> 00:23:58,347 Well, two of them were Freddos 362 00:23:58,380 --> 00:24:01,150 and we all know that Freddos aren't really proper chocolate bars, are they? 363 00:24:02,117 --> 00:24:03,152 You ate the Freddos? 364 00:24:03,786 --> 00:24:05,321 You know I love a Freddo. 365 00:24:05,354 --> 00:24:07,656 It's my favorite. 366 00:24:07,690 --> 00:24:09,124 Did you even think about me while you were doing it? 367 00:24:09,158 --> 00:24:11,627 Oh, come on, Chris! I wasn't fucking someone. 368 00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:14,163 I was hungry and I had some chocolate. 369 00:24:14,196 --> 00:24:15,264 Some chocolate? 370 00:24:15,297 --> 00:24:16,498 Some chocolate? 371 00:24:16,532 --> 00:24:18,701 A couple of Roses at Christmas is some chocolate. 372 00:24:18,734 --> 00:24:21,270 A line of Fruit & Nut is some chocolate. 373 00:24:21,303 --> 00:24:22,471 Nine chocolate bars 374 00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:24,773 is a whole fucking entire universe of chocolate. 375 00:24:24,807 --> 00:24:27,576 Oh, well, thank God you're not being dramatic about it. 376 00:24:27,609 --> 00:24:29,144 Dramatic? 377 00:24:29,178 --> 00:24:31,980 You always do this, make me out to be dramatic. 378 00:24:32,014 --> 00:24:33,949 You'd do the same if the boot was on the other foot. 379 00:24:33,982 --> 00:24:35,117 No, I wouldn't. 380 00:24:35,150 --> 00:24:37,953 You so would. You so would. 381 00:24:37,986 --> 00:24:39,722 Do I have to remind you about nacho-gate? 382 00:24:39,755 --> 00:24:41,757 Oh, no, you don't have to remind me, because you know why? 383 00:24:41,790 --> 00:24:44,893 We always, always go back to fucking nacho-gate 384 00:24:44,927 --> 00:24:46,228 and you throw them right in my face 385 00:24:46,261 --> 00:24:48,464 anytime we have this argument. 386 00:24:48,497 --> 00:24:49,698 It was an accident 387 00:24:49,732 --> 00:24:51,500 and you didn't speak to me for three whole days. 388 00:24:51,533 --> 00:24:53,602 Yes, because it was an idiotic thing to do! 389 00:24:53,635 --> 00:24:55,604 I sat on some nachos! 390 00:24:55,637 --> 00:24:56,939 And not only that, they were cheap nachos. 391 00:24:56,972 --> 00:24:59,274 Does it have anything to do with how cheap they were? 392 00:24:59,308 --> 00:25:00,542 It's a matter of principles. 393 00:25:00,576 --> 00:25:02,010 Do nachos have principles? 394 00:25:02,044 --> 00:25:03,712 - Human beings do! - Human beings? 395 00:25:03,746 --> 00:25:05,781 Have you actually heard the words that are coming out your mouth right now? 396 00:25:05,814 --> 00:25:07,883 Yeah, I have, actually. And do you wanna hear another thing? 397 00:25:07,916 --> 00:25:12,221 You are a stupid, imbecilic, lazy, big-toed, 398 00:25:12,254 --> 00:25:15,257 hairy lips, slightly stretchy, 399 00:25:15,290 --> 00:25:16,492 - one-balled... - Oh! 400 00:25:16,525 --> 00:25:19,962 - ...dead-eyed, little buggy... - Oh! 401 00:25:19,995 --> 00:25:21,463 ...massive nosed, 402 00:25:21,497 --> 00:25:22,498 - fucking... - Mmm. 403 00:25:22,531 --> 00:25:23,499 - ...hairy... - Mmm. 404 00:25:23,532 --> 00:25:25,901 - ...bollocked dick! - Yeah? 405 00:25:25,934 --> 00:25:26,668 - Yeah. - Yeah? 406 00:25:26,702 --> 00:25:27,736 Well, hear this! 407 00:25:27,770 --> 00:25:30,806 You ponder about like a fucking snail! 408 00:25:30,839 --> 00:25:34,376 You juice like a snail, you smell like a snail. 409 00:25:34,410 --> 00:25:35,944 Do you know what? Hear this! 410 00:25:35,978 --> 00:25:39,114 You are a little, snidey, curly-haired, 411 00:25:39,148 --> 00:25:42,651 slightly balding, slightly disgusting prick! 412 00:25:42,684 --> 00:25:44,486 Yeah? Well, hear this. 413 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,221 You, you, you, 414 00:25:46,255 --> 00:25:48,390 boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, 415 00:25:48,424 --> 00:25:50,292 constant fucking moan, 416 00:25:50,325 --> 00:25:51,727 year round moan, 417 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,529 centuries of moaning. 418 00:25:53,562 --> 00:25:55,964 You are a sprouty eye-browed, 419 00:25:55,998 --> 00:25:57,699 sprouty nose-haired, 420 00:25:57,733 --> 00:25:59,835 stupid, slightly imbecilic, 421 00:25:59,868 --> 00:26:02,070 little bit of a fucking old man. 422 00:26:02,104 --> 00:26:03,972 But do you know what? You wanna hear another thing, too? 423 00:26:04,006 --> 00:26:06,408 You are a lopsided, cross-eyed, 424 00:26:06,442 --> 00:26:10,245 red-nosed little buck tooth Wrigley's Extra little prick! 425 00:26:10,279 --> 00:26:11,113 Yeah? 426 00:26:11,146 --> 00:26:13,148 Well, you're a moany, hairy-legged, 427 00:26:13,182 --> 00:26:14,750 mooncuppy bitch! 428 00:26:15,951 --> 00:26:17,753 Really? 429 00:26:17,786 --> 00:26:18,821 Really? You really went there. 430 00:26:18,854 --> 00:26:20,289 - Did you actually just say that? - Yes. 431 00:26:20,322 --> 00:26:21,356 - Yes, I did. - Oh, well, well done. 432 00:26:21,390 --> 00:26:22,591 Well done. Goodbye. 433 00:26:28,564 --> 00:26:29,731 She'll come back. 434 00:26:35,571 --> 00:26:38,874 ♪ You were in the sun that day 435 00:26:38,908 --> 00:26:41,743 ♪ Looking for the way 436 00:26:42,144 --> 00:26:44,346 ♪ I hope 437 00:26:45,113 --> 00:26:47,583 ♪ That you'd stay 438 00:26:49,451 --> 00:26:52,889 ♪ You were in the sun that day 439 00:26:52,922 --> 00:26:55,357 ♪ Looking for the way 440 00:26:59,261 --> 00:27:03,900 ♪ Oh, I need you, my love 441 00:27:06,134 --> 00:27:09,137 ♪ Oh, I need you 442 00:27:12,708 --> 00:27:17,346 ♪ Oh, I need you, my love 443 00:27:19,381 --> 00:27:22,584 ♪ So I won't lose my way 444 00:27:26,388 --> 00:27:28,790 ♪ Oh, I won't lose my way 445 00:27:47,676 --> 00:27:48,878 What are you doing? 446 00:27:48,912 --> 00:27:50,178 I'm dancing! 447 00:27:50,212 --> 00:27:52,047 I can see that. But... 448 00:27:52,882 --> 00:27:54,349 I think maybe we should go. 449 00:27:54,383 --> 00:27:55,919 What? Why? 450 00:27:55,952 --> 00:27:57,786 Because... 451 00:27:57,819 --> 00:27:59,989 every guy in here wants to do it with you. 452 00:28:00,722 --> 00:28:01,925 Especially him. 453 00:28:02,959 --> 00:28:06,029 You think? Is that a bad thing? 454 00:28:06,061 --> 00:28:08,230 Well, it doesn't sit that well with me, to be honest, no. 455 00:28:08,263 --> 00:28:09,398 Well, look, 456 00:28:09,431 --> 00:28:11,500 we've got at least three hours until our train, right? 457 00:28:11,533 --> 00:28:12,634 - Yes. - Right? 458 00:28:12,668 --> 00:28:13,635 So what do you wanna do? 459 00:28:13,669 --> 00:28:15,038 Sit out there in the cold? 460 00:28:15,070 --> 00:28:16,538 Or would you wanna come down here 461 00:28:16,572 --> 00:28:18,206 and have a hot dance with me? 462 00:28:18,574 --> 00:28:19,808 Uh... 463 00:28:20,576 --> 00:28:21,978 Come on! 464 00:29:02,751 --> 00:29:05,220 But do you remember the first time you saw me? 465 00:29:05,253 --> 00:29:07,189 - When you actually saw me? - No. 466 00:29:08,624 --> 00:29:09,926 Of course I do! 467 00:29:11,193 --> 00:29:12,561 It was on Facebook. 468 00:29:12,594 --> 00:29:13,795 I was stalking you. 469 00:29:13,829 --> 00:29:15,230 - What? - Yeah. 470 00:29:15,263 --> 00:29:16,264 Like a pervert. 471 00:29:16,298 --> 00:29:18,467 - Ugh, people do that? - Yeah, no... 472 00:29:18,500 --> 00:29:21,336 I sort of found a bikini picture... 473 00:29:23,238 --> 00:29:24,272 It was... I think... 474 00:29:24,306 --> 00:29:26,441 I think I saw you on Mike's profile. 475 00:29:26,475 --> 00:29:27,643 It was, like, a group photo. 476 00:29:27,676 --> 00:29:28,878 Oh, really? 477 00:29:28,911 --> 00:29:30,846 - Mmm. - And what did you think? 478 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,082 I thought you were the loveliest girl 479 00:29:33,482 --> 00:29:34,616 I'd ever seen. 480 00:29:34,650 --> 00:29:36,085 - Really? - Yeah. 481 00:29:36,119 --> 00:29:38,087 And what about now? 482 00:29:38,121 --> 00:29:40,056 - Honestly? - Mmm-hmm. 483 00:29:40,089 --> 00:29:42,691 I think you've let yourself go a little bit. 484 00:29:43,792 --> 00:29:45,995 Oh, come on! I'm joking. 485 00:29:46,029 --> 00:29:49,032 Everyone knows I'm punching. 486 00:29:49,065 --> 00:29:51,968 Punching above my weight. 487 00:29:52,534 --> 00:29:53,936 You're gorgeous. 488 00:29:53,970 --> 00:29:56,072 You're everything in the right place. 489 00:29:56,105 --> 00:29:58,206 Apart from that bit of shit in your teeth. 490 00:29:58,240 --> 00:29:59,441 - Oh, what? Have I? - Yeah. 491 00:29:59,474 --> 00:30:01,343 You've always got something in them grotbags, haven't you? 492 00:30:01,376 --> 00:30:02,344 What? No. 493 00:30:02,377 --> 00:30:03,578 - It's in the corner. - Get it. 494 00:30:03,612 --> 00:30:04,947 Your left molar. 495 00:30:04,981 --> 00:30:06,015 There you go. 496 00:30:06,049 --> 00:30:07,950 See, don't say I don't do anything for you. 497 00:30:07,984 --> 00:30:09,018 Well, you don't. 498 00:30:09,052 --> 00:30:09,986 - What? - You don't! 499 00:30:10,019 --> 00:30:12,121 I just picked some shit out of your teeth. 500 00:30:12,155 --> 00:30:14,222 And... Oh, so you know those 501 00:30:14,256 --> 00:30:18,094 pictures that I said I was gonna put up for the last three months? 502 00:30:18,127 --> 00:30:19,194 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah? 503 00:30:19,227 --> 00:30:21,697 Well, as soon as we get home, I'm going to do it. 504 00:30:21,730 --> 00:30:23,265 Are you? 505 00:30:23,298 --> 00:30:25,534 - No. - No? What? Why? 506 00:30:25,567 --> 00:30:26,702 I haven't got a hammer. 507 00:30:26,735 --> 00:30:28,837 Well, you can always buy a hammer. 508 00:30:28,870 --> 00:30:30,305 What for? 509 00:30:30,338 --> 00:30:32,708 Well, you probably need it for all the hamming you're gonna be doing. 510 00:30:32,741 --> 00:30:35,044 I think you'll find that it's called hammering. 511 00:30:35,078 --> 00:30:38,147 Jesus, woman, do you know nothing about DIY? 512 00:30:38,181 --> 00:30:39,381 Woman! 513 00:30:39,414 --> 00:30:43,119 Well, you know nothing about women, man! 514 00:30:43,152 --> 00:30:44,820 What was the last thing you bought me? 515 00:30:45,220 --> 00:30:46,488 Uh... 516 00:30:46,521 --> 00:30:48,590 Well, a lovely underwear set. 517 00:30:48,623 --> 00:30:50,993 What, the crotchess pants? 518 00:30:51,027 --> 00:30:53,295 Wasn't to start with, was it? 519 00:30:54,796 --> 00:30:57,532 Babe, I don't want crotchess pants, do I? 520 00:30:57,566 --> 00:30:59,801 I want flowers, and chocolates, and diamonds. 521 00:30:59,835 --> 00:31:01,603 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 522 00:31:01,636 --> 00:31:03,538 Hold your horses! 523 00:31:03,572 --> 00:31:05,208 No, no, no, no. 524 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:06,341 Not weddings, Chris. 525 00:31:06,374 --> 00:31:07,709 - Don't lose your shit. - Aye. 526 00:31:07,743 --> 00:31:10,712 Just, you know, a little, little, little tiny something, 527 00:31:10,746 --> 00:31:11,914 just a little something, 528 00:31:11,948 --> 00:31:13,648 just a little, tiny something 529 00:31:13,682 --> 00:31:15,851 so I know you care about me sometimes. 530 00:31:15,885 --> 00:31:17,220 - What... - Just a little. 531 00:31:18,253 --> 00:31:19,755 What, you think I don't care about you? 532 00:31:19,788 --> 00:31:21,523 No, I think you care about me. 533 00:31:21,556 --> 00:31:23,126 Good. 534 00:31:23,159 --> 00:31:25,293 You should think yourself lucky. 535 00:31:25,327 --> 00:31:28,330 And stop your moaning. 536 00:31:29,999 --> 00:31:31,500 How long have we been in here? 537 00:31:31,533 --> 00:31:32,567 I don't know. 538 00:31:32,601 --> 00:31:33,835 I feel like it... 539 00:31:34,870 --> 00:31:36,738 - There was a train we were supposed to... - Fuck! 540 00:31:36,772 --> 00:31:38,241 - Oh, fuck! - Oh, fuck! 541 00:32:23,552 --> 00:32:25,687 Buongiorno! 542 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,024 Buongiorno, Milano! 543 00:32:28,057 --> 00:32:29,892 - We made it to Italia. - Yeah. 544 00:32:29,926 --> 00:32:32,694 We're here. The home of fashion. 545 00:32:33,495 --> 00:32:34,529 ♪ Fashion 546 00:32:36,232 --> 00:32:38,100 ♪ Fashion, fashion 547 00:32:41,204 --> 00:32:43,605 I don't... I've got nothing to rhyme with that. 548 00:33:21,143 --> 00:33:22,345 Hello! 549 00:33:23,511 --> 00:33:24,779 So, we're in Milan. 550 00:33:25,814 --> 00:33:28,117 Having a nice time. 551 00:33:28,150 --> 00:33:30,353 Lucy's just popped into the, uh... 552 00:33:30,385 --> 00:33:32,154 pharmacy. Get some lady bits. 553 00:33:33,890 --> 00:33:35,324 Thought we'd get a shaver. 554 00:33:35,358 --> 00:33:36,625 Sort that rat out. 555 00:33:37,525 --> 00:33:39,128 Never seen anything like it. 556 00:33:39,828 --> 00:33:41,197 Hello, Lucy's Mum. 557 00:33:42,564 --> 00:33:43,865 So, uh... 558 00:33:43,900 --> 00:33:45,234 we're having a lovely time. 559 00:33:46,035 --> 00:33:48,137 Had a little slip up in Nice. 560 00:33:48,170 --> 00:33:51,374 Nothing too much to worry about, though. Sort of all right. 561 00:33:51,406 --> 00:33:52,275 - And, uh... - What are you doing? 562 00:33:52,308 --> 00:33:54,176 ...we're off to Venice. Hello! 563 00:33:54,210 --> 00:33:55,378 The love of my life. 564 00:33:55,410 --> 00:33:56,879 Right, come on. 565 00:33:56,913 --> 00:33:58,780 We need to find a loo somewhere, okay? 566 00:33:58,813 --> 00:33:59,648 Okay. 567 00:34:00,316 --> 00:34:01,583 Probably needs a shit. 568 00:34:02,051 --> 00:34:02,885 See you soon. 569 00:34:46,828 --> 00:34:48,197 It's beautiful, innit? 570 00:34:48,230 --> 00:34:49,065 It really is. 571 00:34:50,632 --> 00:34:51,934 Oh! 572 00:34:51,968 --> 00:34:54,636 Oh, phone's ringing. The old Mom. Oh! 573 00:35:03,446 --> 00:35:04,313 Lucy. 574 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:06,382 Lucy, Lucy. 575 00:35:07,716 --> 00:35:08,951 I don't think we're gonna fix that. 576 00:35:09,952 --> 00:35:10,785 Don't you? 577 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:12,487 Really? 578 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:13,788 Not smashed up, is it? 579 00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:18,493 We're just gonna have to 580 00:35:18,526 --> 00:35:20,329 find a payphone and ring your mum. 581 00:35:20,363 --> 00:35:22,031 - How? - What do you mean, how? 582 00:35:23,132 --> 00:35:24,632 Well, I don't know my mum's number. 583 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,869 You... You don't know your own mum's number? 584 00:35:28,670 --> 00:35:30,538 I don't know anyone's number. 585 00:35:30,572 --> 00:35:32,108 Once I put it in my phone once, that's it. 586 00:35:32,141 --> 00:35:34,944 My mum's number just becomes "Mum" every time she calls me. 587 00:35:34,977 --> 00:35:36,745 Well, haven't you got it written down somewhere? 588 00:35:36,778 --> 00:35:38,114 Oh, yeah, yeah. 589 00:35:38,147 --> 00:35:39,181 In my phone. 590 00:35:39,215 --> 00:35:40,815 So how are you gonna get in touch with her, then? 591 00:35:40,849 --> 00:35:42,218 Well... 592 00:35:42,251 --> 00:35:45,121 do you remember when I said we should bring your phone? 593 00:35:45,154 --> 00:35:46,355 How's that gonna help? 594 00:35:46,389 --> 00:35:48,958 Well, you could ring your mum and ask her to call my mum. 595 00:35:48,991 --> 00:35:50,960 How is she going to do that? 596 00:35:50,993 --> 00:35:52,928 Well, doesn't your mum have my mum's number? 597 00:35:53,329 --> 00:35:54,330 No. 598 00:35:54,363 --> 00:35:55,797 They've literally met twice. 599 00:35:55,830 --> 00:35:56,999 And your mum got so pissed 600 00:35:57,033 --> 00:35:59,068 that she threw up all over my mum's shoes. 601 00:36:00,635 --> 00:36:02,138 Classic Heller. 602 00:36:03,772 --> 00:36:06,342 - Can we e-mail her? - Oh, yeah, yeah. 603 00:36:06,375 --> 00:36:07,642 Let me just whip out me laptop. 604 00:36:07,675 --> 00:36:08,944 Well, I don't mean now. 605 00:36:08,978 --> 00:36:11,113 - I mean, tomorrow or something. - Oh. 606 00:36:11,147 --> 00:36:13,349 My mum has no idea what an e-mail is. 607 00:36:14,283 --> 00:36:15,918 So what are we going to do then? 608 00:36:15,951 --> 00:36:17,920 I don't know, carrier pigeon? 609 00:36:19,355 --> 00:36:21,057 ♪ Down all day 610 00:36:22,525 --> 00:36:23,993 ♪ Up all night 611 00:36:31,167 --> 00:36:32,101 Hey, you. 612 00:36:34,569 --> 00:36:35,737 We'd like a room, please. 613 00:36:35,770 --> 00:36:37,206 Sure thing. A single? 614 00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:38,541 Oh, no. A... A double. 615 00:36:38,573 --> 00:36:39,741 A double? 616 00:36:39,774 --> 00:36:41,944 Oh, right. Traveling with a girlfriend. 617 00:36:41,977 --> 00:36:43,145 Uh, yeah. 618 00:36:44,180 --> 00:36:46,248 Why did you say "ugh" like that? 619 00:36:46,282 --> 00:36:47,816 - It wasn't like "ugh," was it? - Yeah, it was. 620 00:36:47,849 --> 00:36:49,351 - Can I see your passports? - Yeah. 621 00:36:54,390 --> 00:36:55,324 Cute. 622 00:36:55,991 --> 00:36:57,026 Thanks. 623 00:36:57,059 --> 00:36:59,028 - Are you being serious? - What? 624 00:36:59,061 --> 00:37:00,628 So is it just for the one night? 625 00:37:00,662 --> 00:37:02,264 Yes, yeah, just the one night. 626 00:37:02,298 --> 00:37:03,399 Such a shame. 627 00:37:03,432 --> 00:37:05,367 Well, breakfast is at 9:00. It's an extra 10 euros, 628 00:37:05,401 --> 00:37:07,869 but come and see me, I'll sort you out. 629 00:37:07,903 --> 00:37:08,736 Thanks. 630 00:37:08,770 --> 00:37:10,306 It's still gonna be 10 euros for you. 631 00:37:11,240 --> 00:37:12,408 Oh. 632 00:37:16,178 --> 00:37:18,247 Room 8, just take the lift to the second floor. 633 00:37:18,847 --> 00:37:19,949 Thanks. 634 00:37:19,982 --> 00:37:21,749 I'll be here all night if you need anything. 635 00:37:21,783 --> 00:37:23,085 Are you fucking kidding me? 636 00:37:23,119 --> 00:37:24,353 Okay. 637 00:37:25,221 --> 00:37:26,821 That's lovely. Fantastic. 638 00:37:45,441 --> 00:37:46,841 That was a bit weird, wasn't it? 639 00:37:51,447 --> 00:37:52,414 Chris. 640 00:37:56,452 --> 00:37:57,586 Chris? 641 00:37:59,221 --> 00:38:00,122 Ow. 642 00:38:01,323 --> 00:38:02,191 Ow! 643 00:38:06,495 --> 00:38:07,662 What happened? 644 00:38:09,131 --> 00:38:10,199 Oh, hi, honey. 645 00:38:13,502 --> 00:38:14,802 Did you punch me in the head? 646 00:38:16,038 --> 00:38:17,839 What? No. 647 00:38:19,975 --> 00:38:21,676 It feels like you punched me in the head. 648 00:38:22,211 --> 00:38:23,212 Well, I didn't. 649 00:38:24,113 --> 00:38:25,847 If you had have punched me in the head... 650 00:38:26,714 --> 00:38:28,050 would you lie about it? 651 00:38:29,285 --> 00:38:30,219 Yes. 652 00:38:31,153 --> 00:38:32,087 Yes, I would. 653 00:38:34,056 --> 00:38:34,924 See... 654 00:38:36,025 --> 00:38:38,793 now that you've said you would lie about it, 655 00:38:38,826 --> 00:38:41,230 that makes me think that you did punch me in the head. 656 00:38:43,265 --> 00:38:44,699 Yeah, I... 657 00:38:44,732 --> 00:38:46,302 I can see why it would look like that. 658 00:38:47,303 --> 00:38:48,637 And knock me out? 659 00:38:48,671 --> 00:38:50,838 You may have blacked out for a little bit. 660 00:38:51,540 --> 00:38:52,774 A little bit? 661 00:38:52,807 --> 00:38:54,709 Well... Well, how long? 662 00:38:55,311 --> 00:38:56,278 About an hour. 663 00:38:57,279 --> 00:38:58,247 An hour? 664 00:39:00,382 --> 00:39:02,251 Well, how did I get on the bed? 665 00:39:02,284 --> 00:39:03,785 I carried you. 666 00:39:04,587 --> 00:39:06,155 You carried me? 667 00:39:06,188 --> 00:39:08,290 Yeah, I thought you'd think that you just fell asleep or something. 668 00:39:08,691 --> 00:39:09,824 Oh, nice. 669 00:39:10,893 --> 00:39:12,561 Right, so just to clarify, 670 00:39:12,595 --> 00:39:14,096 you did punch me in the head. 671 00:39:14,597 --> 00:39:15,698 Yeah. 672 00:39:16,899 --> 00:39:18,000 Right. 673 00:39:18,033 --> 00:39:20,002 - Where are you going? - I'm going for a walk. 674 00:39:20,802 --> 00:39:22,338 Well, it's really late. 675 00:39:22,371 --> 00:39:24,573 Yeah? Well, I'd probably be safer out there than I will in here, 676 00:39:24,607 --> 00:39:25,941 you violent assaultist. 677 00:39:27,842 --> 00:39:29,111 See you later, Rocky Balboa. 678 00:39:43,559 --> 00:39:44,627 Hi. 679 00:39:45,361 --> 00:39:47,029 - Oh, hi. - Do you want one? 680 00:39:47,997 --> 00:39:49,265 Ooh. 681 00:39:49,298 --> 00:39:50,299 Don't mind if I do. 682 00:39:51,133 --> 00:39:52,268 Like a cheeky old fag. 683 00:39:53,402 --> 00:39:54,637 Cigarettes. 684 00:39:55,070 --> 00:39:56,005 Hmm. 685 00:40:03,479 --> 00:40:05,748 - You okay? - Yep. I'm... I'm Chris. 686 00:40:06,048 --> 00:40:07,016 Carli. 687 00:40:07,416 --> 00:40:08,783 Thanks. 688 00:40:08,816 --> 00:40:11,320 Um... Am I bleeding? 689 00:40:11,353 --> 00:40:13,222 Bleeding? No. Why? 690 00:40:13,255 --> 00:40:14,123 What did you do? 691 00:40:14,156 --> 00:40:16,158 My girlfriend punched me. 692 00:40:16,191 --> 00:40:17,693 - She did? - Yeah. 693 00:40:17,726 --> 00:40:18,761 Why? 694 00:40:19,361 --> 00:40:21,030 Probably because of you. 695 00:40:21,063 --> 00:40:22,264 Because of me? 696 00:40:22,298 --> 00:40:23,666 Mmm, what did I do? 697 00:40:24,166 --> 00:40:25,134 Well... 698 00:40:26,001 --> 00:40:28,103 she thought you were flirting with me. 699 00:40:28,671 --> 00:40:29,871 I was. 700 00:40:30,272 --> 00:40:31,206 Oh. 701 00:40:32,474 --> 00:40:33,942 That'll... 702 00:40:33,976 --> 00:40:35,878 That'd be why she was annoyed, then. 703 00:40:35,911 --> 00:40:37,379 So how long have you guys been together? 704 00:40:38,013 --> 00:40:39,048 Uh... 705 00:40:40,282 --> 00:40:41,750 Going on a year and a half. 706 00:40:41,784 --> 00:40:43,385 - You happy? - Um... 707 00:40:44,420 --> 00:40:46,789 Yeah. Yeah, we'd... 708 00:40:46,821 --> 00:40:48,957 We have the occasional spat. 709 00:40:49,525 --> 00:40:50,993 You gonna get married? 710 00:40:51,026 --> 00:40:52,394 Well, I don't know about that. 711 00:40:53,828 --> 00:40:56,498 What about you? Have you got a fella, a chap? 712 00:40:56,532 --> 00:40:58,734 No. All alone. 713 00:40:58,767 --> 00:41:01,036 Oh, I find that hard to believe. 714 00:41:01,670 --> 00:41:03,472 It's true. No one wants me. 715 00:41:03,505 --> 00:41:05,040 I find that even harder to believe. 716 00:41:06,909 --> 00:41:09,211 Truth is, I get bored easy. 717 00:41:09,244 --> 00:41:11,714 Yeah. The old boredom. 718 00:41:11,747 --> 00:41:14,149 - Yeah. Yeah. - Sets in, doesn't it? 719 00:41:14,183 --> 00:41:15,984 Life's too short for just one cock. 720 00:41:16,552 --> 00:41:17,686 What? 721 00:41:19,388 --> 00:41:20,756 I mean, what... 722 00:41:20,789 --> 00:41:22,758 What if it's, uh... What if it's great, a great cock? 723 00:41:22,791 --> 00:41:24,393 What's your definition of a great cock? 724 00:41:25,794 --> 00:41:27,029 I don't know. 725 00:41:28,530 --> 00:41:30,032 A long, wide... 726 00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:34,103 girthy one, you know, a nice one. That's nice. 727 00:41:34,136 --> 00:41:36,305 - Is that what yours is like? - Mine? 728 00:41:36,338 --> 00:41:37,740 - Yeah. - Uh... 729 00:41:37,773 --> 00:41:40,209 I mean, mine's like okay, I suppose. 730 00:41:40,242 --> 00:41:41,677 - Show me. - What? 731 00:41:41,977 --> 00:41:43,379 Show me. 732 00:41:43,412 --> 00:41:44,980 - Excuse me? - Oh, come on. 733 00:41:45,013 --> 00:41:46,548 I promise I'm not gonna touch it. 734 00:41:46,582 --> 00:41:48,083 I know, but... 735 00:41:48,117 --> 00:41:49,852 I've got a girlfriend. 736 00:41:49,885 --> 00:41:51,286 One who punches you in the face. 737 00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:52,254 Only the once. 738 00:41:52,287 --> 00:41:53,655 Do you wanna fuck me, Chris? 739 00:41:54,390 --> 00:41:55,224 Ooh. 740 00:41:57,393 --> 00:42:00,295 It's a nice... Nice thing to say, isn't it? But, uh... 741 00:42:01,497 --> 00:42:03,866 You know, I'm sure that'd be lovely. Very... 742 00:42:04,867 --> 00:42:08,871 extravagant, yeah. Excellent night's work. 743 00:42:09,405 --> 00:42:10,806 And nice fun, but... 744 00:42:10,839 --> 00:42:12,107 You know, it's just I've got... 745 00:42:12,141 --> 00:42:13,542 I wasn't offering. 746 00:42:13,575 --> 00:42:15,677 I'm simply asking if it's something that you'd want to do. 747 00:42:15,711 --> 00:42:17,246 Oh, right, yes. 748 00:42:17,279 --> 00:42:19,915 Yeah. It's more of an offer not on the table, but... 749 00:42:21,383 --> 00:42:22,251 Chris! 750 00:42:27,689 --> 00:42:29,825 Ooh, ooh. 751 00:42:29,858 --> 00:42:32,961 - Fuck. What the fuck, Chris? - What the fuck, Chris! 752 00:42:33,395 --> 00:42:34,596 Oh, my God! 753 00:42:34,630 --> 00:42:36,265 "Oh, my God, I'm so fucking cute. 754 00:42:36,298 --> 00:42:39,501 "I've got really pointy nipples and I'm so fucking cute." Chris! 755 00:42:39,535 --> 00:42:41,837 Oh, my God! Oh, God! 756 00:42:42,438 --> 00:42:43,439 Fuck. 757 00:42:43,472 --> 00:42:45,207 That's it. That's it. 758 00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:46,508 Can't do this anymore. 759 00:42:46,542 --> 00:42:47,609 Oh, my God, I need to get of here. 760 00:42:47,643 --> 00:42:49,378 Get me out of this fucking game! 761 00:42:50,813 --> 00:42:52,214 Shit, shit, shit. 762 00:42:58,554 --> 00:43:00,756 Oh, my God. 763 00:43:04,693 --> 00:43:05,994 Lucy! 764 00:43:06,528 --> 00:43:07,763 - Lucy. - Fuck off! 765 00:43:07,796 --> 00:43:09,431 You'll never believe what just happened. 766 00:43:09,465 --> 00:43:11,266 I threw up on the stairs. 767 00:43:11,300 --> 00:43:12,534 Do you think I should tell someone about that? 768 00:43:12,568 --> 00:43:14,002 What the fuck is wrong with you? 769 00:43:14,036 --> 00:43:16,171 I don't know. I think I'm just not as fit as I used to be. 770 00:43:16,205 --> 00:43:17,941 My chest hurts. 771 00:43:17,973 --> 00:43:19,508 - Think I should sit down a bit. - No! 772 00:43:19,541 --> 00:43:20,709 I'm not talking about that, Chris. 773 00:43:20,742 --> 00:43:21,777 You kissed another girl! 774 00:43:21,810 --> 00:43:22,744 I didn't, though. 775 00:43:22,778 --> 00:43:24,413 You did! I just fucking saw you! 776 00:43:24,446 --> 00:43:25,581 I just saw you. 777 00:43:25,614 --> 00:43:26,748 She kissed me. 778 00:43:26,782 --> 00:43:28,383 I had nothing to do with it. 779 00:43:28,417 --> 00:43:31,019 A... Americans are strong, aren't they? Like... 780 00:43:31,053 --> 00:43:33,455 No, it wasn't your fault, was it? It never is! 781 00:43:33,489 --> 00:43:35,023 - What do you mean? - I mean, Chris, 782 00:43:35,057 --> 00:43:37,493 you never take responsibility for anything. 783 00:43:37,526 --> 00:43:38,760 You just bumble through life. 784 00:43:38,794 --> 00:43:40,462 "I'm Chris. I'm really funny. 785 00:43:40,496 --> 00:43:42,431 "And nothing is ever my fault." 786 00:43:42,464 --> 00:43:44,166 When the fuck are you going to grow up? 787 00:43:45,434 --> 00:43:46,835 I said I'm sorry. 788 00:43:50,072 --> 00:43:51,173 That's just it. 789 00:43:52,641 --> 00:43:54,076 You haven't... 790 00:43:54,109 --> 00:43:56,211 You haven't said you're sorry, not once. 791 00:43:57,579 --> 00:43:58,647 And you know what? 792 00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:00,215 I don't think I want to do this anymore. 793 00:44:00,749 --> 00:44:01,985 I think I'm done. 794 00:44:04,419 --> 00:44:05,687 I'm done. 795 00:44:06,421 --> 00:44:07,256 Done? 796 00:44:07,723 --> 00:44:09,091 - Yeah. - What... 797 00:44:09,124 --> 00:44:09,893 What does "done" mean? 798 00:44:09,926 --> 00:44:11,860 It means I'm done. 799 00:44:11,895 --> 00:44:14,263 Done. Done. Done. Done. 800 00:44:15,430 --> 00:44:16,632 Done. 801 00:44:22,638 --> 00:44:25,274 ♪ Dun, dun ta dun dun Dun, dun ta dun dun 802 00:44:25,307 --> 00:44:28,878 ♪ Dun, dun ta dun dun Dun, dun ta dun 803 00:44:28,912 --> 00:44:29,778 You know it. 804 00:44:29,811 --> 00:44:31,780 ♪ Dun, dun ta dun dun 805 00:44:31,813 --> 00:44:35,183 ♪ Ru tu tu tu du Ta ta da ta ♪ 806 00:44:48,397 --> 00:44:49,398 Lucy. 807 00:45:22,230 --> 00:45:23,332 She'll be back. 808 00:45:56,933 --> 00:45:57,633 Hi. 809 00:45:57,666 --> 00:45:58,901 What I get you? 810 00:45:58,935 --> 00:46:00,869 - Just a Coke, please. - Bene. 811 00:46:00,903 --> 00:46:01,737 Thanks. 812 00:46:04,539 --> 00:46:05,774 Just stick with the sausage, Chris. 813 00:46:05,807 --> 00:46:07,643 Stick with the sausage and chips. 814 00:46:16,085 --> 00:46:17,152 Hey. 815 00:46:17,185 --> 00:46:18,420 I'm Adriana. 816 00:46:18,955 --> 00:46:20,123 Lucy. 817 00:46:20,155 --> 00:46:21,657 What the fuck is that? 818 00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:26,461 Looks like some sort of... 819 00:46:27,362 --> 00:46:28,797 pregnancy test, isn't it? 820 00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,070 Oh, well. 821 00:46:35,170 --> 00:46:36,304 No. 822 00:46:45,982 --> 00:46:47,616 It's all in fucking Italian. 823 00:46:47,649 --> 00:46:48,784 So, what happened then? 824 00:46:49,451 --> 00:46:50,452 What? 825 00:46:50,485 --> 00:46:53,089 How come you're in a bar all on your own? 826 00:46:54,256 --> 00:46:56,458 Uh, I had an argument with my boyfriend. 827 00:46:56,491 --> 00:46:57,426 About what? 828 00:46:57,994 --> 00:46:59,361 He kissed another girl. 829 00:46:59,394 --> 00:47:00,629 I mean, he... 830 00:47:00,662 --> 00:47:02,131 He said that she kissed him, 831 00:47:02,165 --> 00:47:03,832 and therefore, it wasn't his fault. 832 00:47:03,865 --> 00:47:05,600 And you don't believe him? 833 00:47:05,634 --> 00:47:07,369 Well I mean, she was really hot. 834 00:47:07,402 --> 00:47:08,403 So? 835 00:47:08,437 --> 00:47:10,572 So it literally took him about six months 836 00:47:10,605 --> 00:47:12,374 to build up the courage to kiss me. 837 00:47:12,407 --> 00:47:14,010 He's known this girl for... 838 00:47:14,643 --> 00:47:15,777 six seconds? 839 00:47:15,811 --> 00:47:16,879 And he could've stopped it? 840 00:47:16,913 --> 00:47:19,015 Um, yes, he could've stopped it. 841 00:47:19,048 --> 00:47:20,816 What? It's not that hard, is it? 842 00:47:28,557 --> 00:47:30,026 Okay. 843 00:47:30,059 --> 00:47:32,861 So, you were supposed to stop me. 844 00:47:33,662 --> 00:47:35,131 Okay. 845 00:47:35,630 --> 00:47:37,866 Well, cool. Sorry. 846 00:47:37,900 --> 00:47:40,103 So, he could be telling the truth. 847 00:47:40,136 --> 00:47:41,904 I mean, yeah. 848 00:47:41,938 --> 00:47:43,672 Yeah, I guess he could be. 849 00:48:02,992 --> 00:48:03,759 Oh, my... 850 00:48:03,792 --> 00:48:05,061 Well, I mean, 851 00:48:05,094 --> 00:48:06,828 that's not the only thing that fucks me off about him. 852 00:48:06,862 --> 00:48:09,098 Okay. So, tell me. 853 00:48:09,132 --> 00:48:12,101 Um, well, he is... 854 00:48:12,135 --> 00:48:13,468 He's very childish. 855 00:48:13,502 --> 00:48:17,372 Um, I mean, like, extremely childish. 856 00:48:17,405 --> 00:48:18,774 And he's just, 857 00:48:18,807 --> 00:48:21,177 he's got no... no passion for anything, 858 00:48:21,210 --> 00:48:22,677 no drive at all. 859 00:48:22,711 --> 00:48:24,947 He doesn't smoke but he definitely drinks too much 860 00:48:24,981 --> 00:48:27,016 and he masturbates a lot. 861 00:48:27,049 --> 00:48:28,850 Yeah, it's weird. 862 00:48:28,885 --> 00:48:32,021 And what do you love about him? 863 00:48:35,323 --> 00:48:37,692 Well... 864 00:48:40,695 --> 00:48:41,931 Um... 865 00:48:43,632 --> 00:48:45,902 Okay. So it shouldn't be taking this long. 866 00:48:45,935 --> 00:48:48,403 No, I know. I know. 867 00:48:48,436 --> 00:48:49,906 But there is stuff. 868 00:48:49,939 --> 00:48:52,175 - Obviously there is stuff. - Stuff? 869 00:48:52,208 --> 00:48:53,242 You use the word "stuff" 870 00:48:53,276 --> 00:48:55,377 to describe the man you're in love with? 871 00:48:58,948 --> 00:49:00,849 Yeah, that's not good, is it? 872 00:49:03,119 --> 00:49:06,055 So, what are you going to do now, then? 873 00:49:06,088 --> 00:49:09,292 Um... I think I'll just go home. 874 00:49:09,825 --> 00:49:11,127 Where's home? 875 00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:12,494 - London. - London? 876 00:49:12,527 --> 00:49:13,562 I live in London. 877 00:49:13,595 --> 00:49:15,231 I'm currently on a placement year here. 878 00:49:15,264 --> 00:49:17,967 Oh, my God, it's such a small world, isn't it? 879 00:49:18,867 --> 00:49:20,435 Well, what were you doing here? 880 00:49:20,468 --> 00:49:21,503 We were supposed to be 881 00:49:21,536 --> 00:49:23,672 on a 10-day trip around Europe. 882 00:49:23,705 --> 00:49:25,774 So, why would you go home then? 883 00:49:25,807 --> 00:49:27,977 That's the last thing you should do. 884 00:49:28,476 --> 00:49:29,477 Why? 885 00:49:29,511 --> 00:49:31,546 You don't need him to 886 00:49:31,580 --> 00:49:32,882 go to a coffee shop with 887 00:49:32,915 --> 00:49:34,583 or go to a museum with 888 00:49:34,616 --> 00:49:37,419 or him buy you a bus ticket. 889 00:49:37,452 --> 00:49:39,788 You have so much to think about. 890 00:49:40,488 --> 00:49:41,991 You can do it on your own. 891 00:49:47,296 --> 00:49:48,763 Yeah. I don't know. 892 00:49:49,865 --> 00:49:52,101 Where's next on the adventure? 893 00:49:52,134 --> 00:49:55,570 Um, I'm supposed to get a 10:00 a.m. train to Venice. 894 00:49:55,604 --> 00:49:56,872 I have a friend in Venice 895 00:49:56,906 --> 00:49:58,373 who you can totally crash with. 896 00:49:58,406 --> 00:49:59,275 Adriana. 897 00:49:59,308 --> 00:50:00,675 She'd be happy to have you. 898 00:50:00,709 --> 00:50:01,776 Do you have a pen and paper? 899 00:50:01,810 --> 00:50:03,745 You really don't have to do that. 900 00:50:03,778 --> 00:50:04,881 She's called Mia. 901 00:50:04,914 --> 00:50:07,049 And she's amazing. 902 00:50:07,083 --> 00:50:08,951 And she can show you the real Venice. 903 00:50:08,985 --> 00:50:10,987 You can just crash on her sofa. 904 00:50:11,020 --> 00:50:13,055 Oh, my God. Thank you. 905 00:50:13,089 --> 00:50:14,556 Honestly, you don't have to do that. 906 00:50:14,589 --> 00:50:16,225 But thank you very much. 907 00:50:17,859 --> 00:50:19,728 So, what are you going to do now? 908 00:50:21,130 --> 00:50:23,299 Probably just get another hostel. 909 00:50:23,332 --> 00:50:24,666 You can stay with me. Yeah. 910 00:50:24,699 --> 00:50:25,667 Oh, my God! 911 00:50:25,700 --> 00:50:28,436 - No, I live five minutes away. - Really? 912 00:50:28,470 --> 00:50:30,006 And it's really simple and basic 913 00:50:30,039 --> 00:50:33,175 but it's home and I'd love to have you. 914 00:50:33,209 --> 00:50:34,944 - Really? - I insist. 915 00:50:35,810 --> 00:50:36,678 Drink up. 916 00:51:08,244 --> 00:51:09,711 Carbonara. 917 00:51:09,744 --> 00:51:10,679 Ciao. 918 00:51:10,712 --> 00:51:12,348 Buzzing in here, innit? 919 00:51:12,381 --> 00:51:13,082 What I get you? 920 00:51:13,115 --> 00:51:15,351 Oh, I'll have a beer, please. 921 00:51:20,789 --> 00:51:23,159 It's four euro. 922 00:51:25,660 --> 00:51:26,494 Thanks. 923 00:51:27,696 --> 00:51:29,131 - Okay. - Keep the change. 924 00:51:29,165 --> 00:51:29,932 Grazie. 925 00:51:33,169 --> 00:51:34,236 What's that? 926 00:51:37,373 --> 00:51:38,606 No. No. 927 00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:41,043 Yes. 928 00:51:42,244 --> 00:51:43,578 Lay your key? 929 00:51:46,916 --> 00:51:48,616 Yeah, you haven't got much le, have you? 930 00:51:48,650 --> 00:51:50,286 It's all on your chest, isn't it? 931 00:51:52,254 --> 00:51:53,588 What's happening now? 932 00:51:57,293 --> 00:51:58,394 I'm not Italian. 933 00:51:58,427 --> 00:51:59,627 Ah, here. 934 00:51:59,661 --> 00:52:00,762 - Ah. - Le, here. 935 00:52:00,795 --> 00:52:02,098 Shall I lay here? 936 00:52:02,131 --> 00:52:02,864 - No. No. - No? 937 00:52:02,898 --> 00:52:05,201 Le ara, here. Here. 938 00:52:05,234 --> 00:52:07,470 - Here. - Here. 939 00:52:07,502 --> 00:52:09,405 - Oh, here! - Si. 940 00:52:09,438 --> 00:52:11,773 Ah, got you! Here. 941 00:52:11,806 --> 00:52:13,641 ♪ We can hear You can hear 942 00:52:13,675 --> 00:52:15,844 ♪ I can hear We can all hear 943 00:52:16,578 --> 00:52:18,347 ♪ I got a beer 944 00:52:18,381 --> 00:52:19,882 ♪ I was just going to Go over here ♪ 945 00:52:19,915 --> 00:52:21,516 - Okay, yes. You go. - Yeah. 946 00:52:21,549 --> 00:52:22,617 - Yeah, go. - Yes. 947 00:52:22,650 --> 00:52:24,286 - Si. - Si. Now, ta! 948 00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:25,187 Ciao! 949 00:52:52,647 --> 00:52:54,849 - Salute. - Salute. 950 00:53:01,023 --> 00:53:03,025 - Salute. - Salute. 951 00:53:05,593 --> 00:53:06,495 Oh! 952 00:53:20,443 --> 00:53:21,776 Fuck's sake. 953 00:53:57,612 --> 00:53:58,447 Morning. 954 00:53:59,081 --> 00:54:00,082 Hi. 955 00:54:00,116 --> 00:54:01,417 I'd like to check out, please. 956 00:54:01,450 --> 00:54:03,552 Okay. Did you enjoy your stay? 957 00:54:03,586 --> 00:54:06,455 You know, it wasn't the best. 958 00:54:06,489 --> 00:54:08,124 I'm sorry to hear that. 959 00:54:08,157 --> 00:54:10,292 Anything else I can help you with? 960 00:54:10,326 --> 00:54:11,659 Um, do you have a map? 961 00:54:11,693 --> 00:54:12,694 Sure. 962 00:54:14,296 --> 00:54:15,531 - Here. - Oh... 963 00:54:15,564 --> 00:54:17,333 The girl working last night, Carli? 964 00:54:17,366 --> 00:54:18,300 Yes. 965 00:54:18,334 --> 00:54:19,935 Could you, uh, say goodbye to her for me? 966 00:54:19,969 --> 00:54:21,769 Of course. She's my girlfriend. 967 00:54:23,038 --> 00:54:23,872 Come again. 968 00:54:23,906 --> 00:54:25,374 She's my girlfriend. 969 00:54:26,808 --> 00:54:27,910 Good luck with that. 970 00:54:27,943 --> 00:54:29,777 - Oh, do you have the time? - Yeah. 971 00:54:31,313 --> 00:54:32,847 - 9:50. - 9:50? 972 00:54:32,882 --> 00:54:35,451 - 9:50. Yes. - As in 10 to 10? 973 00:54:35,484 --> 00:54:36,886 - Yes. - Shit! 974 00:55:16,592 --> 00:55:18,060 Not even bloody close. 975 00:55:27,903 --> 00:55:31,073 ♪ You were in the flow Of things 976 00:55:32,608 --> 00:55:34,143 ♪ Don't you know 977 00:55:34,176 --> 00:55:38,948 ♪ I was there with you Somehow, somehow 978 00:55:40,449 --> 00:55:42,284 ♪ Windows in the sun 979 00:55:42,318 --> 00:55:46,422 ♪ I think I can see you 980 00:55:46,455 --> 00:55:51,493 ♪ The light is on the run And it's going nowhere 981 00:55:53,828 --> 00:55:58,667 ♪ Hello to you 982 00:55:58,701 --> 00:56:04,240 ♪ Did you ever know that you Were in the middle of my mind 983 00:56:06,475 --> 00:56:11,347 ♪ Hello to you 984 00:56:11,380 --> 00:56:17,386 ♪ I could never figure out Why you were so hard to find 985 00:56:25,961 --> 00:56:32,134 ♪ You were in the sand Dancing forever 986 00:56:32,167 --> 00:56:37,306 ♪ I was there with you Somehow, somehow 987 00:56:39,408 --> 00:56:44,346 ♪ Hello to you 988 00:56:44,380 --> 00:56:49,518 ♪ Did you ever know that you Were in the middle of my mind 989 00:56:51,887 --> 00:56:54,822 ♪ Hello to you 990 00:56:54,856 --> 00:56:56,791 - Hi. - Hi. 991 00:56:56,824 --> 00:56:58,860 - Is that a poo? - Yep. 992 00:56:58,894 --> 00:56:59,962 Potent, isn't it? 993 00:56:59,995 --> 00:57:01,430 Really stings the old nostrils. 994 00:57:01,463 --> 00:57:03,732 - Uh, I've smelled worse. - Lovely. 995 00:57:03,766 --> 00:57:04,767 Um... 996 00:57:05,668 --> 00:57:06,935 You haven't seen this girl, have you? 997 00:57:07,835 --> 00:57:09,238 No, I'm afraid not. 998 00:57:09,271 --> 00:57:10,939 Okay. No worries. 999 00:57:10,973 --> 00:57:12,341 Would you like a room? 1000 00:57:13,442 --> 00:57:15,377 - I'm good, thanks. See you later, mate. - Okay. 1001 00:57:36,065 --> 00:57:38,334 Here you go. Decaf. 1002 00:57:39,268 --> 00:57:40,235 Thanks. 1003 00:57:41,036 --> 00:57:42,037 You okay? 1004 00:57:42,938 --> 00:57:44,173 Yeah, I'm fine. 1005 00:57:45,007 --> 00:57:46,909 You know, it's okay not to be okay. 1006 00:57:49,912 --> 00:57:52,948 So, I'm in Venice. 1007 00:57:54,149 --> 00:57:56,085 Decided to have a little go on a gondolier. 1008 00:57:57,353 --> 00:57:58,354 It's good. 1009 00:57:59,355 --> 00:58:00,489 Come meet me mate here. 1010 00:58:03,359 --> 00:58:04,460 It's not what his name is. 1011 00:58:06,929 --> 00:58:09,732 - Buongiorno! - Buongiorno! 1012 00:58:09,765 --> 00:58:12,134 - Buongiorno! - Buongiorno! 1013 00:58:13,802 --> 00:58:17,005 Fitting in for the old locales. 1014 00:58:18,640 --> 00:58:20,042 What is it they say? 1015 00:58:20,075 --> 00:58:22,077 "Plenty more fish in the sea." 1016 00:58:23,212 --> 00:58:25,748 Yeah, that is... That is what they say. 1017 00:58:26,648 --> 00:58:29,785 ♪ I'm here in Venice 1018 00:58:29,818 --> 00:58:32,588 Right, that's it, tonight we're going out. 1019 00:58:32,621 --> 00:58:34,857 ♪ I'm going to find her 1020 00:58:35,657 --> 00:58:38,761 ♪ And tell her I'm sorry 1021 00:58:38,794 --> 00:58:40,062 We're going to go out, we're going to have fun, 1022 00:58:40,095 --> 00:58:41,597 we're going to go dancing. 1023 00:58:41,630 --> 00:58:44,266 - I've got nothing to wear. - It's fine. 1024 00:58:44,299 --> 00:58:45,801 I know the perfect place. 1025 00:59:16,532 --> 00:59:17,533 Sorry... 1026 00:59:20,469 --> 00:59:22,471 Okay. I'm going to go. I'll go. 1027 00:59:22,504 --> 00:59:24,173 Bye. Friendly here, aren't they? 1028 01:00:01,777 --> 01:00:02,778 Hello, old lady. 1029 01:00:07,316 --> 01:00:08,450 It's hot, innit? 1030 01:00:09,618 --> 01:00:11,253 I don't do that well in the heat. 1031 01:00:12,221 --> 01:00:13,388 Or the cold. 1032 01:00:14,690 --> 01:00:16,091 That's why I got an ice cream. 1033 01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:18,727 And a sweater in me bag. 1034 01:00:19,728 --> 01:00:21,096 Good work with the coat. 1035 01:00:21,129 --> 01:00:22,464 Good move, smart. 1036 01:00:24,934 --> 01:00:27,436 You don't have anywhere to stay, do you, around here? 1037 01:00:27,469 --> 01:00:29,671 It's just, the last place I was at was, um... 1038 01:00:29,705 --> 01:00:30,940 Well, it wasn't very nice. 1039 01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:33,809 There was a big shit on the floor. 1040 01:00:34,911 --> 01:00:37,012 It was like a French stick. 1041 01:00:37,045 --> 01:00:38,882 I haven't seen anything like it. 1042 01:00:40,015 --> 01:00:41,985 I've had a pretty shitty couple of days. 1043 01:00:43,151 --> 01:00:44,820 Found out my girlfriend's pregnant. 1044 01:00:45,721 --> 01:00:46,956 That's amazing. 1045 01:00:47,856 --> 01:00:49,893 It's pretty good news. 1046 01:00:49,926 --> 01:00:51,493 Then she caught me kissing another girl 1047 01:00:51,527 --> 01:00:52,962 and ran off. 1048 01:00:53,897 --> 01:00:54,863 Well, I wasn't kissing another girl, 1049 01:00:54,898 --> 01:00:56,265 she was kissing me, 1050 01:00:56,865 --> 01:00:59,134 but she doesn't know that. 1051 01:00:59,167 --> 01:01:02,271 So, I'm pretty much just wandering around Venice like a prick. 1052 01:01:03,505 --> 01:01:05,140 She's beautiful, my Lucy. 1053 01:01:06,608 --> 01:01:07,809 She's amazing. 1054 01:01:09,111 --> 01:01:12,514 Like you... You were probably beautiful when you were younger. 1055 01:01:12,548 --> 01:01:14,816 You're still all right now, you know. 1056 01:01:19,154 --> 01:01:20,890 I know I'm not much to look at. 1057 01:01:21,757 --> 01:01:23,525 But I'm funny. 1058 01:01:23,559 --> 01:01:25,627 I've got pretty good-sized penis, 1059 01:01:25,661 --> 01:01:27,296 medium-sized. 1060 01:01:28,697 --> 01:01:29,865 You'll never know, though. 1061 01:01:31,968 --> 01:01:35,939 Yeah, so that's me, just wandering around Venice. 1062 01:01:35,972 --> 01:01:38,440 Let me know if you fancy doing anything later 'cause 1063 01:01:38,473 --> 01:01:39,976 I'm at a loose end. 1064 01:01:41,176 --> 01:01:45,514 Probably go out, dinner, dance, you know. 1065 01:01:47,050 --> 01:01:49,451 All right, well, it's been nice chatting. 1066 01:01:50,485 --> 01:01:51,853 I love a good chat. 1067 01:01:53,689 --> 01:01:55,223 So I'll get off now. 1068 01:01:55,257 --> 01:01:56,358 See you later, old lady. 1069 01:02:37,532 --> 01:02:38,533 Mia! 1070 01:03:18,975 --> 01:03:21,176 - I think he fancies you. - Oh, my God, Mia! 1071 01:03:21,209 --> 01:03:22,277 He doesn't fancy me. 1072 01:03:22,310 --> 01:03:23,779 - I think he fancies you. - He doesn't. He fancies you. 1073 01:03:23,812 --> 01:03:25,982 Everyone fucking fancies you. You're kidding me. 1074 01:03:26,015 --> 01:03:28,784 - Oh, my God! - Oh! 1075 01:03:32,688 --> 01:03:33,890 Hello. 1076 01:03:40,163 --> 01:03:44,433 This is Chris and Lucy's trip to Europe. 1077 01:03:46,368 --> 01:03:47,469 Here's Chris. 1078 01:03:49,538 --> 01:03:51,406 It's not Lucy, is it? 1079 01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:53,109 No, it's a big fucking bag, 1080 01:03:55,610 --> 01:03:57,312 not Lucy. 1081 01:03:57,345 --> 01:03:59,182 Do you know where she is? 1082 01:03:59,214 --> 01:04:01,516 Do you know why I don't know where she is? 1083 01:04:01,550 --> 01:04:03,852 'Cause she fucked off. 1084 01:04:04,519 --> 01:04:05,821 Walked off, 1085 01:04:06,488 --> 01:04:10,358 because... because of me. 1086 01:04:15,363 --> 01:04:18,000 Because of how I behave. 1087 01:04:18,034 --> 01:04:20,469 Because I don't think. 1088 01:04:24,673 --> 01:04:25,707 I don't... 1089 01:04:25,741 --> 01:04:27,509 I don't think about her enough. 1090 01:04:28,510 --> 01:04:30,113 But all she does is think about me. 1091 01:04:33,815 --> 01:04:36,919 So, you stayed here even though he left you? 1092 01:04:36,953 --> 01:04:39,956 Hell, yeah. This is my home. 1093 01:04:39,989 --> 01:04:42,024 Not just gonna run away. Fuck that. 1094 01:04:43,126 --> 01:04:44,894 Yeah, but weren't you scared? 1095 01:04:45,827 --> 01:04:48,330 Oh, my God. Terrified. 1096 01:04:49,598 --> 01:04:52,300 But that's how I knew I was doing the right thing. 1097 01:04:54,836 --> 01:04:57,272 If you're not living on the edge 1098 01:04:58,340 --> 01:05:00,475 then you're taking up too much space. 1099 01:05:02,744 --> 01:05:05,547 I mean, I'm not saying that's how everyone should live their lives 1100 01:05:05,580 --> 01:05:07,917 but it worked for me. 1101 01:05:10,019 --> 01:05:11,853 I'm a fucking wanker. 1102 01:05:12,955 --> 01:05:14,322 I don't even see it. 1103 01:05:15,724 --> 01:05:18,094 I walked around in Venice. 1104 01:05:19,461 --> 01:05:21,063 I went on a gondolier. 1105 01:05:21,097 --> 01:05:24,299 Only it's not a gondolier, it's called a gondola. 1106 01:05:25,101 --> 01:05:26,668 And I know it's called a gondola 1107 01:05:26,701 --> 01:05:28,905 but I say gondolier 1108 01:05:28,938 --> 01:05:30,539 'cause I think it'll make her laugh. 1109 01:05:30,572 --> 01:05:32,175 And it does. 1110 01:05:32,208 --> 01:05:33,842 'Cause I do all the other stuff. 1111 01:05:34,676 --> 01:05:36,511 I don't say, I don't... 1112 01:05:36,545 --> 01:05:38,047 Doesn't make her laugh. 1113 01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:41,284 I don't... think. 1114 01:05:45,787 --> 01:05:47,455 So I went on it on my own. 1115 01:05:47,489 --> 01:05:50,826 I sat next to an old lady on a bench on my own. 1116 01:05:50,859 --> 01:05:53,595 And she was lovely. 1117 01:05:55,898 --> 01:05:58,100 Couldn't understand a fucking work I was saying. 1118 01:06:00,136 --> 01:06:01,803 But Lucy does understand... 1119 01:06:02,337 --> 01:06:04,539 the words I say. 1120 01:06:04,573 --> 01:06:06,608 That's why I should think what I say 1121 01:06:06,641 --> 01:06:08,211 before I say it. 1122 01:06:10,445 --> 01:06:13,015 I couldn't be more terrified right now if I tried. 1123 01:06:13,815 --> 01:06:15,717 Fuck him, he's a dick... 1124 01:06:15,750 --> 01:06:17,119 I'm pregnant. 1125 01:06:17,719 --> 01:06:18,553 So... 1126 01:06:21,523 --> 01:06:22,892 there's that. 1127 01:06:22,925 --> 01:06:24,426 Let me ask you a question. 1128 01:06:26,262 --> 01:06:27,429 Do you love him? 1129 01:06:33,269 --> 01:06:34,337 Yeah. 1130 01:06:35,570 --> 01:06:37,039 Fucking hell. Look at the rain. 1131 01:06:39,208 --> 01:06:41,143 I deserve this, I deserve to be... 1132 01:06:42,912 --> 01:06:44,247 out in the rain... 1133 01:06:45,447 --> 01:06:46,949 on my own. 1134 01:06:46,983 --> 01:06:49,151 And she deserves to be in somewhere... 1135 01:06:50,052 --> 01:06:52,420 nice, with nice people. 1136 01:06:55,291 --> 01:06:57,026 But we're meant to be. 1137 01:06:57,059 --> 01:07:00,528 You know, when canals go 1138 01:07:00,562 --> 01:07:03,632 in Venice, go to places. 1139 01:07:03,665 --> 01:07:05,734 We're supposed to go to a place. 1140 01:07:05,767 --> 01:07:07,535 So I'm gonna go on a canal tomorrow 1141 01:07:07,569 --> 01:07:08,803 and find her. 1142 01:07:12,807 --> 01:07:15,378 And also I'll behave, 1143 01:07:15,410 --> 01:07:16,511 and say sorry. 1144 01:07:19,547 --> 01:07:20,983 And I'll call it a gondola. 1145 01:07:26,923 --> 01:07:29,892 Lucy... I'll see you tomorrow. 1146 01:07:31,060 --> 01:07:32,061 Bye. 1147 01:08:36,192 --> 01:08:37,159 Excuse me. 1148 01:08:38,928 --> 01:08:42,398 Um, you haven't seen this girl, have you? 1149 01:08:45,001 --> 01:08:45,968 No. 1150 01:08:47,036 --> 01:08:48,471 But you're not really looking. 1151 01:08:48,503 --> 01:08:50,538 - No. - No? 1152 01:08:51,706 --> 01:08:54,410 - No. - No? 1153 01:08:54,776 --> 01:08:55,777 No. 1154 01:08:56,879 --> 01:08:58,247 It's nice, this place, isn't it? 1155 01:09:00,582 --> 01:09:01,917 Got you there, didn't I? 1156 01:09:12,395 --> 01:09:13,362 Excuse me. 1157 01:09:18,833 --> 01:09:20,869 - Hello. - Hello. 1158 01:09:21,203 --> 01:09:22,038 Um... 1159 01:09:23,072 --> 01:09:24,507 You haven't seen this girl, have you? 1160 01:09:24,539 --> 01:09:26,142 Is she staying here? 1161 01:09:30,146 --> 01:09:31,414 No. 1162 01:09:32,781 --> 01:09:34,083 Are you sure? 1163 01:09:35,750 --> 01:09:37,953 Yes, I'm sure. I'm sorry, mate. 1164 01:09:37,987 --> 01:09:40,489 Aw. That's all right, mate. 1165 01:09:40,523 --> 01:09:42,058 - Have a good day. - You too. 1166 01:10:02,777 --> 01:10:04,113 - Hi. - Hello. 1167 01:10:04,146 --> 01:10:05,847 Um, I'd like a room please. 1168 01:10:07,416 --> 01:10:09,518 I've seen you before. 1169 01:10:10,352 --> 01:10:12,188 Do we know each other? 1170 01:10:12,221 --> 01:10:14,890 I'm not sure, but I've seen you before. 1171 01:10:14,924 --> 01:10:16,724 On a... on a film. 1172 01:10:17,759 --> 01:10:18,793 I'm not an actress. 1173 01:10:18,827 --> 01:10:20,096 Um... 1174 01:10:20,129 --> 01:10:22,730 Can I just get a room, please? 1175 01:10:22,764 --> 01:10:24,133 Certainly. 1176 01:11:49,218 --> 01:11:51,086 Helloo! 1177 01:11:51,753 --> 01:11:53,222 Helloo! 1178 01:12:05,733 --> 01:12:06,969 Hello. 1179 01:12:07,002 --> 01:12:08,938 - Hello. - Can I help you? 1180 01:12:09,905 --> 01:12:11,773 Yes, you can. 1181 01:12:11,806 --> 01:12:14,043 I'd like a room, please. 1182 01:12:14,076 --> 01:12:15,644 - Oh, fine... - Tala-ba-da-da. 1183 01:12:16,912 --> 01:12:18,180 Before you ask... 1184 01:12:21,951 --> 01:12:23,552 Mmm-hmm 1185 01:12:23,586 --> 01:12:25,087 This ain't my first rodeo. 1186 01:12:25,888 --> 01:12:28,190 - There you go. - Thank you. 1187 01:12:30,960 --> 01:12:32,561 Zom-zom. 1188 01:12:32,595 --> 01:12:35,231 Can I... can I just say... 1189 01:12:35,264 --> 01:12:37,832 that you have beautiful eyes. 1190 01:12:38,267 --> 01:12:39,468 Both of them. 1191 01:12:40,369 --> 01:12:42,304 Contacts? 1192 01:12:43,172 --> 01:12:45,074 - No. - Amazing. 1193 01:12:46,175 --> 01:12:48,477 So, how much is it for the old? 1194 01:12:48,510 --> 01:12:51,146 So, that'll be 69 euro. 1195 01:12:51,180 --> 01:12:53,282 Stone the fucking crows, mate. 1196 01:12:53,649 --> 01:12:54,917 'Struth! 1197 01:12:55,750 --> 01:12:57,852 I want a room, not the building. 1198 01:12:57,886 --> 01:12:59,488 Would you like the room or not? 1199 01:12:59,854 --> 01:13:01,624 Yeah, I do. 1200 01:13:01,657 --> 01:13:03,959 - Fine. - I was just being funny. 1201 01:13:03,993 --> 01:13:06,128 - So... - There you go old girl. 1202 01:13:06,161 --> 01:13:08,631 Count it out, old bean. 1203 01:13:08,664 --> 01:13:10,832 There you go, mate. 1204 01:13:10,865 --> 01:13:13,135 - Thank you very much... - Keep the fucking change. 1205 01:13:13,168 --> 01:13:16,572 That's um... room 11, 3rd floor. 1206 01:13:22,344 --> 01:13:24,480 Good evening. Have a good night's sleep. 1207 01:13:24,513 --> 01:13:26,448 - Good night. - You'll need it. 1208 01:13:27,316 --> 01:13:28,450 I love you. 1209 01:13:57,246 --> 01:13:58,080 What's that? 1210 01:13:58,813 --> 01:13:59,814 Ah! 1211 01:14:00,316 --> 01:14:01,984 What the fuck? 1212 01:14:03,818 --> 01:14:04,920 Ah, shit! 1213 01:14:07,423 --> 01:14:08,590 Whose that? 1214 01:14:08,624 --> 01:14:09,857 Whose that? 1215 01:14:10,959 --> 01:14:13,128 I'm on a merry go round and I don't like it. 1216 01:15:03,645 --> 01:15:05,748 - Oh, good morning. - Morning. 1217 01:15:05,781 --> 01:15:07,516 - Did you have a good stay? - I did, yeah. 1218 01:15:07,549 --> 01:15:09,985 There was a very loud guy this morning, though. 1219 01:15:10,018 --> 01:15:11,887 Oh, I think I know who you mean. 1220 01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:13,522 I hope he wasn't too much of a nuisance. 1221 01:15:13,555 --> 01:15:14,356 Just drunk, was he? 1222 01:15:14,390 --> 01:15:16,892 Yeah. Bit of a flirt too, actually. 1223 01:15:16,925 --> 01:15:18,727 - Brilliant. - Harmless enough, though. 1224 01:15:18,761 --> 01:15:20,596 I think he had a rough day. 1225 01:15:20,629 --> 01:15:22,631 Ah, yeah. I know the feeling. 1226 01:15:22,664 --> 01:15:24,233 Is there anything I can help you with? 1227 01:15:24,266 --> 01:15:27,102 Can you tell me the way to the Piazza Della Liberta? 1228 01:15:27,136 --> 01:15:30,172 Sure. Um, at the door turn left 1229 01:15:30,205 --> 01:15:31,907 and at the end of the street turn right 1230 01:15:31,940 --> 01:15:33,409 and it's about four blocks away. 1231 01:15:33,442 --> 01:15:35,511 - Okay, perfect. Thank you. - Okay. You have a great day. 1232 01:15:35,544 --> 01:15:37,179 - You too, Ciao. - Bye. 1233 01:15:58,801 --> 01:16:00,102 Excuse me. 1234 01:16:02,404 --> 01:16:03,907 Excuse me! 1235 01:16:04,706 --> 01:16:07,242 - Ah, good morning. - Good morning. 1236 01:16:07,276 --> 01:16:08,677 How are you this morning? 1237 01:16:08,710 --> 01:16:11,680 Um, well I feel my head's gonna explode. 1238 01:16:11,713 --> 01:16:13,015 Other than that, great thanks. 1239 01:16:13,048 --> 01:16:14,716 But you found your girl, though? 1240 01:16:14,750 --> 01:16:16,385 - What? - You found her? 1241 01:16:16,418 --> 01:16:18,387 The girl in the film. You found her? 1242 01:16:18,420 --> 01:16:22,691 No. I've pretty much checked every hostel in Florence. 1243 01:16:22,724 --> 01:16:23,759 No luck. 1244 01:16:23,792 --> 01:16:25,994 - She was here at breakfast. - What? 1245 01:16:26,028 --> 01:16:27,563 At breakfast I saw her. 1246 01:16:27,596 --> 01:16:28,864 - At breakfast? - Yes. 1247 01:16:28,898 --> 01:16:29,832 - Here? - Yes. 1248 01:16:29,865 --> 01:16:31,800 - Is she still here? - I think so. 1249 01:16:31,834 --> 01:16:33,302 Uh, I will just check. 1250 01:16:33,335 --> 01:16:35,871 Emma, could you help this gentleman, please? 1251 01:16:36,738 --> 01:16:38,173 My girl, you saw my girl? 1252 01:16:38,207 --> 01:16:40,342 - Um, the pretty one? - Yes, the pretty one. 1253 01:16:40,375 --> 01:16:41,844 - My Lucy. - She's your girlfriend? 1254 01:16:41,878 --> 01:16:42,946 Yes, all right, I know I'm punching 1255 01:16:42,978 --> 01:16:43,979 but where... where is she? 1256 01:16:44,012 --> 01:16:45,314 She left five minutes ago. 1257 01:16:45,347 --> 01:16:46,448 Where did she go? 1258 01:16:46,482 --> 01:16:48,150 Piazza Della Liberta. 1259 01:16:48,984 --> 01:16:49,852 How do I get there? 1260 01:16:49,886 --> 01:16:51,320 Walk out, turn left, 1261 01:16:51,353 --> 01:16:52,922 at the end of the street, turn right 1262 01:16:52,956 --> 01:16:54,790 and then it's about four blocks from there. 1263 01:16:54,823 --> 01:16:56,458 - You better hurry, though. - Thank you. 1264 01:16:57,961 --> 01:16:59,461 Don't lose her, mate. 1265 01:17:05,601 --> 01:17:08,270 ♪ Been here once or twice 1266 01:17:08,303 --> 01:17:11,039 ♪ Never seen you Let's decide 1267 01:17:11,073 --> 01:17:13,575 ♪ Though I hope 1268 01:17:13,609 --> 01:17:16,144 ♪ So I hope 1269 01:17:22,317 --> 01:17:25,153 ♪ Still, something Just right 1270 01:17:25,187 --> 01:17:27,823 ♪ Won't find out, We'll see what happens 1271 01:17:27,856 --> 01:17:30,158 ♪ Though I hope 1272 01:17:30,592 --> 01:17:32,896 ♪ So I hope 1273 01:17:33,729 --> 01:17:35,564 ♪ Oh 1274 01:17:36,331 --> 01:17:38,500 ♪ You're still The one I want 1275 01:17:38,534 --> 01:17:41,503 ♪ Yeah, it's been This way too long 1276 01:17:41,537 --> 01:17:44,039 ♪ I'll give you Everything 1277 01:17:44,072 --> 01:17:46,876 ♪ I'll give you Everything 1278 01:17:47,877 --> 01:17:49,811 ♪ Past the point, I know 1279 01:17:49,845 --> 01:17:52,814 ♪ But it seems I've gone too far 1280 01:17:52,848 --> 01:17:55,250 ♪ I'll give you Everything 1281 01:17:55,284 --> 01:17:56,218 Lucy! 1282 01:17:56,251 --> 01:17:57,386 ♪ I'll give you everything 1283 01:17:58,320 --> 01:17:59,221 Lucy! 1284 01:18:01,256 --> 01:18:02,524 Lucy. 1285 01:18:18,574 --> 01:18:19,408 Chris? 1286 01:18:22,778 --> 01:18:23,947 Lucy. 1287 01:18:29,919 --> 01:18:31,320 How did you find me? 1288 01:18:32,754 --> 01:18:34,323 We were staying at the same hostel. 1289 01:18:35,390 --> 01:18:36,926 - Really? - Yeah. 1290 01:18:38,627 --> 01:18:40,029 Oh, my God! 1291 01:18:40,063 --> 01:18:41,797 You were the drunk guy from last night. 1292 01:18:41,830 --> 01:18:43,599 Guilty. 1293 01:18:43,632 --> 01:18:45,467 You were the drunk guy who flirted 1294 01:18:45,500 --> 01:18:47,202 with the receptionist, again. 1295 01:18:47,235 --> 01:18:49,104 That hag? Not my cup of tea. 1296 01:18:49,137 --> 01:18:51,306 No. She's really not your type, is she? 1297 01:18:51,340 --> 01:18:53,175 Look, you're my type. 1298 01:18:54,810 --> 01:18:56,612 Do you want to kneel down or shall I get up? 1299 01:18:57,546 --> 01:18:58,948 What do you think? 1300 01:18:59,481 --> 01:19:00,549 I'll get up. 1301 01:19:05,520 --> 01:19:06,990 Oh! 1302 01:19:10,726 --> 01:19:12,194 I don't want to let go. 1303 01:19:13,997 --> 01:19:15,497 You might run off again. 1304 01:19:20,003 --> 01:19:21,837 You're not gonna run off, are you? 1305 01:19:30,846 --> 01:19:32,347 I've been thinking. 1306 01:19:34,216 --> 01:19:36,284 I'm sorry for acting like such a... 1307 01:19:37,319 --> 01:19:39,122 A twat. 1308 01:19:39,154 --> 01:19:40,455 What's twat in Italian? 1309 01:19:41,523 --> 01:19:42,357 Twat. 1310 01:19:43,158 --> 01:19:44,159 Is it? 1311 01:19:45,260 --> 01:19:48,563 So, um... I've been everywhere. 1312 01:19:50,432 --> 01:19:51,533 On my own. 1313 01:19:52,401 --> 01:19:53,535 But I brought me bag. 1314 01:19:55,537 --> 01:19:57,073 - How is your bag? - It's fine. 1315 01:19:57,773 --> 01:19:59,108 Nice. Good. 1316 01:20:00,809 --> 01:20:02,210 How you've been? 1317 01:20:03,178 --> 01:20:04,212 Been okay. 1318 01:20:05,114 --> 01:20:06,548 You look like you have. 1319 01:20:07,349 --> 01:20:08,985 Me. 1320 01:20:10,153 --> 01:20:12,421 Made friends with a little old lady. 1321 01:20:12,454 --> 01:20:13,689 Had a good old chat. 1322 01:20:13,722 --> 01:20:15,490 Told her all about you. 1323 01:20:16,591 --> 01:20:18,027 She was nice. 1324 01:20:18,794 --> 01:20:20,495 Had a ride on a gondolier. 1325 01:20:21,663 --> 01:20:23,032 Sing a song with a guy. 1326 01:20:24,399 --> 01:20:25,834 Ate a couple of pizzas. 1327 01:20:28,537 --> 01:20:30,106 Jesus Christ! Listen to me. 1328 01:20:31,807 --> 01:20:33,608 Me, me, me. 1329 01:20:35,544 --> 01:20:36,578 I'm sorry. 1330 01:20:39,481 --> 01:20:40,983 I'm sorry I'm such an idiot. 1331 01:20:45,320 --> 01:20:46,388 Yeah. 1332 01:20:48,891 --> 01:20:50,325 But you're my idiot. 1333 01:20:52,828 --> 01:20:54,296 Am I? 1334 01:20:56,231 --> 01:20:57,232 Yeah. 1335 01:20:58,901 --> 01:21:00,469 And look, we... 1336 01:21:00,502 --> 01:21:02,838 Neither of us should be doing this on our own. 1337 01:21:04,406 --> 01:21:05,841 This trip was meant to be about... 1338 01:21:05,874 --> 01:21:07,275 You haven't been on your own, though. 1339 01:21:08,443 --> 01:21:09,478 What? 1340 01:21:10,312 --> 01:21:12,447 I found the pregnancy test. 1341 01:21:13,916 --> 01:21:15,151 It was yours, wasn't it? 1342 01:21:17,120 --> 01:21:17,954 Yeah. 1343 01:21:19,554 --> 01:21:20,756 Yeah, it's mine. 1344 01:21:20,789 --> 01:21:22,125 Holy shit! 1345 01:21:23,092 --> 01:21:26,162 Does that mean we gonna be, like, parents? 1346 01:21:26,195 --> 01:21:28,396 - Yeah. - Proper adults. 1347 01:21:29,232 --> 01:21:30,133 Yup. 1348 01:21:30,166 --> 01:21:31,633 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1349 01:21:31,666 --> 01:21:33,435 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1350 01:21:33,468 --> 01:21:34,971 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1351 01:21:37,806 --> 01:21:39,708 Oh, sorry. 1352 01:21:39,741 --> 01:21:40,977 Watch out. 1353 01:21:41,010 --> 01:21:42,879 Chris, it's literally like a raisin right now. 1354 01:21:42,912 --> 01:21:45,148 I know, but I sat on a raisin once. 1355 01:21:46,249 --> 01:21:47,884 And I'm gonna protect that raisin. 1356 01:21:50,119 --> 01:21:52,821 I'm gonna start tucking my shirts in. 1357 01:21:52,854 --> 01:21:55,323 - Brilliant. - Well, it is. 1358 01:21:56,625 --> 01:21:58,493 I want to be a good dad. 1359 01:21:58,527 --> 01:22:00,796 That's what good dads do. 1360 01:22:00,829 --> 01:22:02,864 I know you don't believe that now, but... 1361 01:22:02,899 --> 01:22:04,466 - There's two of... - No. I do. 1362 01:22:05,767 --> 01:22:07,003 I believe that. 1363 01:22:07,502 --> 01:22:09,738 - You do? - Yeah. 1364 01:22:09,771 --> 01:22:11,974 Of course I do. Come here. 1365 01:22:21,184 --> 01:22:22,484 Sorry I'm such a dick. 1366 01:22:22,517 --> 01:22:25,087 Oh! It's okay. 1367 01:22:25,121 --> 01:22:27,622 It's not okay. It's not okay. 1368 01:22:29,391 --> 01:22:33,196 It's not okay to be a dick to something so good. 1369 01:22:36,165 --> 01:22:38,567 My dick days are over. 1370 01:22:39,768 --> 01:22:41,336 Maybe let's work on that. Shall we? 1371 01:22:43,906 --> 01:22:45,407 So what do we do now? 1372 01:22:49,811 --> 01:22:51,214 Let's just make tracks. 1373 01:22:52,848 --> 01:22:54,917 What? What does that mean? 1374 01:22:55,617 --> 01:22:57,920 You know, let's make tracks. 1375 01:22:57,954 --> 01:22:59,322 I've never heard that before. 1376 01:22:59,354 --> 01:23:00,388 Of course you have. 1377 01:23:00,422 --> 01:23:02,490 I've literally never heard anyone say that, ever. 1378 01:23:02,524 --> 01:23:03,926 Well, it's a saying, isn't it? 1379 01:23:03,960 --> 01:23:07,163 No. Let's make like sheep and get the flock out of here. 1380 01:23:07,196 --> 01:23:09,065 - That's a saying. - Okay. 1381 01:23:09,098 --> 01:23:10,266 Let's mate like a tampon 1382 01:23:10,299 --> 01:23:11,334 and get out of this bloody hole... 1383 01:23:11,366 --> 01:23:13,269 - Oh, my God! Chris. - That's a saying. 1384 01:23:14,136 --> 01:23:15,637 Let's make like a donkey dick 1385 01:23:15,670 --> 01:23:16,872 and hit the road. 1386 01:23:16,906 --> 01:23:18,673 Okay. I get it. 1387 01:23:18,707 --> 01:23:20,076 Let's make like a tree and leave. 1388 01:23:20,109 --> 01:23:22,577 - Chris? - Let's make tracks? 1389 01:23:23,578 --> 01:23:25,081 What a load of shit. 1390 01:23:29,584 --> 01:23:32,021 ♪ Long hot days 1391 01:23:32,054 --> 01:23:35,423 ♪ In the shade Of some big old tree 1392 01:23:36,725 --> 01:23:38,160 ♪ Making daisy chains 1393 01:23:38,194 --> 01:23:41,364 ♪ And watching All the honey bees 1394 01:23:44,100 --> 01:23:46,635 ♪ Endless nights 1395 01:23:46,668 --> 01:23:50,339 ♪ Underneath starry skies 1396 01:23:51,207 --> 01:23:53,009 ♪ Everyday is summer 1397 01:23:53,042 --> 01:23:55,477 ♪ When you spend it Here with me 1398 01:24:05,187 --> 01:24:08,190 ♪ So I call you up 1399 01:24:08,224 --> 01:24:11,493 ♪ Whenever I'm Feeling down 1400 01:24:12,228 --> 01:24:15,197 ♪ 'Cause it feels so good 1401 01:24:15,231 --> 01:24:17,900 ♪ Just to have you around 1402 01:24:19,601 --> 01:24:22,437 ♪ And you might not be 1403 01:24:22,470 --> 01:24:26,841 ♪ The richest boy in this town 1404 01:24:26,876 --> 01:24:29,678 ♪ But it feels so good 1405 01:24:29,711 --> 01:24:32,214 ♪ Just to have you around 1406 01:24:34,183 --> 01:24:39,355 ♪ Yeah it feels so good Just to have you around 1407 01:24:41,623 --> 01:24:48,596 ♪ Now yesterday Is all but a distant dream 1408 01:24:48,630 --> 01:24:53,235 ♪ Tomorrow hasn't happened yet So let's just wait and see 1409 01:24:55,770 --> 01:24:58,840 ♪ Because we're here right now 1410 01:24:58,873 --> 01:25:03,179 ♪ It's all that I'll ever Need anyhow 1411 01:25:03,212 --> 01:25:07,984 ♪ Being in the present with you Lord I'm so free 1412 01:25:10,019 --> 01:25:12,955 ♪ And I'll call you up 1413 01:25:12,989 --> 01:25:17,126 ♪ Whenever I'm Feeling down 1414 01:25:17,159 --> 01:25:22,431 ♪ 'Cause it feels so good Just to have you around 1415 01:25:24,799 --> 01:25:27,269 ♪ And you might not be 1416 01:25:27,303 --> 01:25:31,539 ♪ The smartest boy In this crowd 1417 01:25:31,573 --> 01:25:36,544 ♪ But it feels so good Just to have you around 1418 01:25:38,680 --> 01:25:44,320 ♪ Yeah it feels so good Just to have you around 1419 01:25:46,422 --> 01:25:51,327 ♪ It feels so good Just to have you around 1420 01:25:53,162 --> 01:25:58,934 ♪ Yeah it feels so good Just to have you around 1421 01:26:01,070 --> 01:26:05,540 ♪ It feels so good Just to have you around ♪ 1422 01:26:05,647 --> 01:26:08,217 Subtitles by explosiveskull @ subs4free.info 95927