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1
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,312
Alright, Bill,
see ya.
2
00:00:08,486 --> 00:00:09,487
Later, buddy.Have a great weekend.
3
00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:10,967
What?
4
00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:12,664
Have a great week--
5
00:00:12,838 --> 00:00:14,710
Wait, hold on.
It's -- It's Friday?
6
00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:16,190
Yeeeeeah.
7
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:17,713
[ Chuckles ]
8
00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:19,280
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
9
00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:20,455
This can't be.
10
00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:21,847
But...why not?
11
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,241
You don't have kids.
12
00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:26,852
When there's
no school...
13
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,550
there's no childcare.
14
00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:30,247
Bummer.
15
00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:31,596
You don't understand!
16
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:33,468
The weekend is worse
than the week!
17
00:00:33,642 --> 00:00:35,383
Is someone filming this?!
Human resources?!
18
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:37,298
Ken!
19
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:40,866
No, no, please,
just give me more work!
20
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,434
Aah!
I want to stay here!
21
00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:45,741
The weekend is worse
than the week!
22
00:00:45,915 --> 00:00:48,004
It's worse than the week!
23
00:00:48,178 --> 00:00:50,833
It's worse than the week!
24
00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:52,269
It's worse than the week!
25
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:54,054
Bill, Bill! Bill!Eh? Ah! Uh! Ah!
26
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:56,360
Bill!
Oh!
27
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:58,841
Oh, man, I just had a nightmare
it was the weekend.
28
00:00:59,015 --> 00:00:59,885
It isSaturday.
29
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,278
[ Groans ]
30
00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:04,281
So, I didn't scream
at my office?
31
00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:05,848
I don't know.
32
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:07,676
We'll find out Monday,
I guess.
33
00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:08,459
[ Grunts ]
[ Groans ]
34
00:01:08,633 --> 00:01:10,287
God.
35
00:01:10,461 --> 00:01:11,419
[ Sighs ]
36
00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:13,116
Remember how
weekends used to be?
37
00:01:13,290 --> 00:01:14,552
Sleep till noon.
38
00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:16,685
Yeah, take off
on my motorcycle.
39
00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:18,208
Poop alone.
40
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,167
Well,
all that's gone.
41
00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:21,646
Now it's just kid stuff
and family obligations.
42
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:22,821
Mm.
43
00:01:22,995 --> 00:01:24,345
Ooh, and this weekend,
44
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:27,391
Emily has her first
homework assignment.
45
00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:29,524
Come on.
Emily has homework now?
46
00:01:29,698 --> 00:01:31,439
Just for
the next 12 years.
47
00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:34,355
[ Chuckles ]
Happy Saturday.
48
00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:35,660
Ohh.
49
00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:37,923
Hey.
50
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:41,231
The kids are still asleep.
So...
51
00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:44,321
Mm. You want to have
nervous, silent sex while
we stare at the door?
52
00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:51,111
[ Both chanting "Pancakes!" ]
53
00:01:54,288 --> 00:02:03,210
♪♪♪
54
00:02:04,863 --> 00:02:06,343
We want waffles.
55
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,607
And we're off.
56
00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:14,134
Mmm.
Toothpaste and coffee.
57
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:15,135
The working man's
peppermint latte.
58
00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:19,269
What's the damage today,
Jo?
59
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:21,445
[ Sighs ] We've got
two kids' birthday parties.
60
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,012
Actual friends,
fake school friends,
61
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:24,144
family,
or people we hate?
62
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:28,148
Combo move.
63
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:29,497
Lulu's friend
and my brother Benicio's kid.
64
00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:32,674
Do we have to go
to the Benicio thing?
65
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,721
Do you know how annoying
he'll be if we don't go?
66
00:02:36,895 --> 00:02:39,071
As annoying
as if we do go?
67
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:40,290
And we have a funeral.
68
00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:41,813
Oh, God!
69
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:43,641
Your family
constantly dies.
70
00:02:43,815 --> 00:02:45,295
Who is it this time?
71
00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:49,212
My cousin Luis.
The guy with all the turtles.
72
00:02:49,386 --> 00:02:50,866
Enh.
They were tortoises.
73
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,737
Well, whatever they were,
he died,
74
00:02:52,911 --> 00:02:53,477
and they ate his toes.
75
00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:55,914
Hey. I hope
you do that to me.
76
00:02:56,088 --> 00:02:58,047
[ Chuckles ]
77
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,528
At least both birthdays
are at Party Pizza,
78
00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:02,573
so, you know, we won't be stuck
in the car with the kids.
79
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:04,445
Oh, thank God.
80
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:05,794
Oh. Wait.
81
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,578
No. Sorry.
82
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:09,363
They're at two different
Party Pizzas --
83
00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:10,799
40 miles apart?!
84
00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:12,409
What the...
85
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,150
Aren't weekends relaxing?
86
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:15,804
Ugh.
Boy, do I need it.
87
00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:17,414
[ Laughs ]
88
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:18,415
Why?
What'd you do all week?
89
00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:19,938
Bought pantyhose,
90
00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:21,679
saw the dentist,
91
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,115
mailed a letter.
92
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:26,815
I don't know how
I got it all done.
93
00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:28,382
[ Slurps ]
94
00:03:28,556 --> 00:03:29,818
Ahh.
95
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:30,906
Ooh, that's good joe.
96
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:33,343
[ Slurps ]
97
00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:37,434
Ahhhhh.
98
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,044
Tell you what --
let's just drive aimlessly
99
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,307
until that first party
starts.
Yeah.
100
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,006
Oh, look.
They're opening our gift.
101
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:46,704
I grabbed something Lulu
never opened on herbirthday.
102
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:47,966
It's the perfect crime.
103
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:50,491
Aw, look!
104
00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:52,797
"To Lulu.
Happy Birthday.
105
00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:54,321
Love, Daphne."
106
00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:58,629
Since
you already hate us,
107
00:03:58,803 --> 00:03:59,978
we're gonna take a pizza
for the car.
108
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:03,243
♪♪♪
109
00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:05,157
[ Noisemaker honking ]
110
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,251
Thank you.
111
00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:12,513
I mean, what are we doing
with our lives, huh?
112
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:13,775
We work all week
so we can do all this?
113
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:15,080
Yes.
114
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,517
You wanted to have kids.
115
00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:19,302
Uh, no, I didn't.
Youdid.
116
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:22,610
Well, I guess there's been
a huge miscommunication.
117
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:25,613
Come on, babe, why do we have to
go to allyour family events?
118
00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:28,398
Because otherwise,
we're not a family.
119
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:30,052
We're just a bunch of people
in the same city
120
00:04:30,226 --> 00:04:32,272
with the same nose.
121
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:35,840
All I wanted to do today was
watch the U. Colorado game.
122
00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:37,102
You can do that.
123
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:40,280
Jo,
we made one promise.
124
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:42,282
To never lie
to each other, okay?
125
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:44,675
Please do not violate
that sacred covenant now,
126
00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:46,547
or we...have nothing.
127
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:47,548
[ Chuckles ]
128
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:50,986
What if this weekend,
129
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,381
we each got to do one
small thing for ourselves?
130
00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:55,730
Totally depends.
What's yours?
131
00:04:55,904 --> 00:04:57,819
I'd like to
get my nails done.
132
00:04:57,993 --> 00:04:59,864
My feet look like
a Johnny Depp necklace.
133
00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:02,214
Deal. Game today.
Nails on Sunday.
134
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,215
Whoo-hoo!
135
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:04,565
[ Noisemaker honks ]
136
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:09,439
Okay,
Benicio is depressing,
137
00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:12,573
so don't encourage it
for your own amusement.
138
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:14,966
Ah, come on. That's the only joy
I can get out of the guy.
139
00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:18,840
I've met him, like, 300 times.
He never remembers who I am.
140
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,189
Nine siblings,
and you're the only one
141
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,278
who showed for
my son's birthday.
142
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:23,323
Typical.
143
00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:28,153
Benicio, I-I'm sure Chuy
just has our other brothers
144
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,981
helping out
at Luis' funeral.
145
00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:31,461
You know how he is.[ Scoffs ]
146
00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:33,637
Oh, I know how he is.
147
00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:34,986
You know Chuy stole my life,
right?
148
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,640
Yes.
No. How?
149
00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:40,775
September 10, 2001.
150
00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:42,907
Oh, boy.
151
00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:45,214
I spot Brie Gonzalez
at the school dance,
152
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:49,479
and I turn to my brother Chuy,
and I say, "Dibs."
153
00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:54,266
The next thing you know,
they're married and have kids,
154
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,486
like I never had dibs.
155
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:58,401
That's crazy.
156
00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,577
I should be living in his house
with his family,
157
00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:02,231
and he should be the one
158
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,712
whose air mattress exploded
last night.
159
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:06,583
You can't call dibs
on a person.
160
00:06:06,757 --> 00:06:08,063
I think you can,
you know?
161
00:06:08,237 --> 00:06:10,935
I-I'm on your side.
162
00:06:11,109 --> 00:06:14,330
It may be Luis' funeral,
but it is Chuy who's dead to me.
163
00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:15,462
Forever.
164
00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:18,769
My sister's so rude.
165
00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:20,292
I'm Benicio,
by the way.
166
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,470
I'm...also Benicio.
167
00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:28,866
[ Organ music plays ]
168
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:36,439
You're the only family
who showed.
169
00:06:36,613 --> 00:06:37,962
[ Sighs ]
Well, of course.
170
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,616
I show up to everything.
[ Scoffs ]
171
00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:41,401
Where are
the other brothers?
172
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,490
I don't know. We just saw
Benicio at his kid's birthday.
173
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:46,493
Hey, Benicio isn't still
talking about dibs, is he?
174
00:06:47,929 --> 00:06:49,409
[ Chuckling ]
Yeah, he was.
175
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:50,671
You know how he is.
176
00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,716
Uh, yeah.
I know how he is.
177
00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:56,633
Well, time to go
crush this funeral.
178
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,768
The game starts
in an hour.
179
00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,683
Don't worry, babe.
We'll sit in the back.
180
00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:03,988
If it goes too long,
we'll sneak out.
Okay, okay.
181
00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:05,816
Bill! Jo!
182
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:08,297
There's seats up front!
Get over here!
183
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:11,518
Look at this whole row!
Come with me!
184
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:14,259
Okay, look,
Chuy barely knew Luis.
185
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,565
This'll be 10 minutes,
tops.
Okay.
186
00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:19,700
First, I'd like to thank
the tortoise community
187
00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,441
for your incredible support.
188
00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:26,010
What can you say
about Luis?
189
00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:26,924
Nothing.
190
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:28,839
Good.
191
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:30,711
But what can I say
about Luis?
192
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:32,800
A whole buttload of stuff.
193
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:34,628
Bad.
194
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:37,326
Luis loved baseball.
195
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:40,024
He watched
every Rockies game.
196
00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:42,723
162 a year!
197
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:46,944
In his honor,
198
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:50,774
we will now take
162 moments of silence.
199
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,085
One...
200
00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:58,869
Game starts
in five minutes.
201
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:00,654
Oh,
just start recording it.
202
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:01,829
Two...
203
00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:04,658
101...
204
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:08,226
Why did Luis love tortoises?
205
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,228
Who cares?
206
00:08:10,402 --> 00:08:12,970
They're so slow,
207
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:16,191
and everyone hates
when things go slow.
208
00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:18,193
Yeah, amen.
209
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:20,761
What's the rush?
Hmm?
210
00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:22,414
Everyone's in a hurry
to get somewhere
211
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,634
better than where they are.
212
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:26,636
And all these things
that we rush past...
213
00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,207
...well, that's life.
214
00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:33,382
Slow down!
215
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:38,082
Enjoy your life!
216
00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:40,650
Live.
217
00:08:40,824 --> 00:08:41,999
Like.
218
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:45,002
A.
219
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:46,395
Tortoise.
220
00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:51,879
[ Voice breaking ]
He always gets me at the end.
221
00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:53,402
Thank you, Denver!
Good night!
222
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,884
Okay, look,
I-I got to get out of here
223
00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:58,363
before someone
tells me the score.
224
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,800
I'll just see you at the car,
okay?
Okay.
225
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:03,368
♪♪♪
226
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,892
Bill,
did you see the game?!
227
00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:06,763
No, Mo-- Shh, shh, shh.
I recorded it.
228
00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:08,548
Wait, where is it?[ Beeping ]
229
00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:10,593
Oh, it asked if
I wanted to record it,
230
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,595
but I didn't see any
reason, 'cause I was
already watching it.
231
00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:17,774
[ Cheering]Announcer:
And there you have it!
232
00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:21,125
The greatest comeback victory
in Colorado history!
233
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,911
I feel bad for anyone
who missed it!
234
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,309
Please don't touch the remote.
I'm recording something.
235
00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:33,137
♪♪♪
236
00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:38,708
It's worse than the week!
It's worse than the week!
237
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:39,404
It's worse
than the week!
238
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,189
Bill!
Eh! Ah! Ah!
239
00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:42,973
Oh, no.
240
00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:44,366
I just had a nightmare
it's --
241
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:45,715
It isSunday.
242
00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:50,198
The kids are still asleep,
so...
243
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:52,635
Oh.
244
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:55,333
[ Both chanting "Waffles!" ]
245
00:09:55,507 --> 00:10:00,034
♪♪♪
246
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:01,122
Let me guess.
You want pancakes?
247
00:10:01,296 --> 00:10:02,863
No. Cereal.
248
00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:08,738
[ Sighs ]
249
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,348
So, JoJo, Sunday plans.
What do you got?
250
00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:12,133
Uh, there's...
251
00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:14,744
...nothing.
252
00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:20,402
No parties,
nothing with my family.
253
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,186
Oh, my God.
254
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,233
I have dreamed of this day
for so long.
255
00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:28,105
I know.
256
00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:30,542
Now that it's here, I have
no idea what to do with it.
257
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,240
Ooh, I have an idea --
258
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:33,154
nothing.
259
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:35,460
Just relax.
260
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,245
Oh, yes.
Right?
261
00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:39,900
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just stay home and relax.
262
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:41,553
Oh, my gosh.
That actually sounds amazing.
263
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:42,685
[ Chuckles ]
264
00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:43,773
[ Sighs ]
265
00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:45,557
[ Bell dinging ]
266
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,255
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Whap! Bang!
267
00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:49,344
Ahhhh!
268
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:50,650
We got to
get out of here.
269
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:53,435
What can we do?
270
00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:55,916
And don't say...
271
00:10:56,090 --> 00:10:57,308
or they will
make us do it.
272
00:10:57,482 --> 00:10:58,658
A movie?
273
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:01,573
Movie!
We're going to a movie!
274
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,184
Oopsie doodle.
275
00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,361
Fine, we'll take you
to a movie,
276
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,102
but then you have to
do your homework tonight.
277
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:11,366
Yay!
I'll get my jacket!
278
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:13,585
Okay, look, babe,
after the movie,
279
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:14,674
I'll take the kids
to the food court,
280
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:16,110
and you can
get your nails done.
281
00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:18,678
And then a bottle of wine
and oblivion.
282
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,769
Can't wait for that.
283
00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:26,163
I literally
can't wait for that.
284
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:28,818
I'm gonna make that happen
right now.
285
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:32,039
Okay, you get the car,
I'll get the kids, okay?
286
00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:33,649
Kids! Come on!
Let's go!
287
00:11:33,823 --> 00:11:37,522
Emily:
I can't find my jacket!
288
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,133
Emily's jacket.
289
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:42,266
You left it at the funeral
yesterday.
290
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,051
Thank you, but we --
we really got to go.
291
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:45,400
Oh, I'll be brief.
Please, come in.
292
00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:46,140
[ Door closes ]
293
00:11:49,186 --> 00:11:52,276
I-I can't stop thinking
about what God said yesterday.
294
00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:53,843
When He spoke through me
at Luis' funeral.
295
00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:57,107
Chuy,
we're really in a hurry.
296
00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:58,848
Well,
when God and I said that
297
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:01,155
everyone is in way too much
of a hurry...
298
00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:02,504
Okay, yeah, but we actually
arein a hurry, okay?
299
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:03,461
[ Doorbell rings ]
300
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:07,509
Lulu's jacket.
301
00:12:07,683 --> 00:12:08,945
You left it
at Jose's party.
302
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:10,512
Thank you, Beni.
303
00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:12,514
Uh, kids,
we got to get out of here!
304
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,690
That's okay.
I've got a minute.
305
00:12:14,864 --> 00:12:16,779
Brother.
306
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:19,216
Once upon a time.
307
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,392
I see what you did, Jo.
308
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,307
You left one jacket at
the funeral and the other at...
309
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,614
At Jose's party, knowing
we would each feel compelled
310
00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:26,876
to return the jacket...
311
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:27,964
And settle the feud
312
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,227
between us.
Between us.
313
00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:32,186
Right. Yeah.
314
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,535
'Cause we're not just
two stressed-out people
315
00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:36,668
with kids leaving crap
everywhere we go.
316
00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:39,323
This ends right here,
right now.
317
00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:41,238
Hey, do you guys maybe want to
do this at a Starbucks?
318
00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:41,891
'Cause...
319
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:53,816
Hey,
aren't you worried?
320
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,252
No. I hope
they kill each other.
321
00:12:57,298 --> 00:13:00,170
Alright, we made it,
with three minutes to spare.
322
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:02,825
Ha! For once, our family
didn't blow up our lives.
323
00:13:02,999 --> 00:13:04,087
Uh-oh.
324
00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:04,784
What?
325
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,615
[ Scoffs ]
326
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,443
My God.
327
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:13,575
I mean,
we can't wake them.
328
00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:15,185
No way.
329
00:13:15,359 --> 00:13:17,971
They'll turn into demons.
330
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:19,842
Bye, movie.
331
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:21,931
Bye, $50.
332
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:25,500
You know, I swear,
they're messing with us.
333
00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:26,806
[ Scoffs ]
334
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:29,199
Another weekend disaster.
335
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:30,940
Ohh.
No, come on, babe.
336
00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:32,681
Look, I missed my game,
337
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:33,725
but you can still
go get your nails done.
338
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,858
I can't leave you alone.
339
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:37,599
You have to.
340
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:39,557
I can't.
341
00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:41,516
Eh...
342
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,735
I'm already dead.
It's too late for me.
343
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,302
But you can still live.
344
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,914
Go.
Get your nails done.
345
00:13:49,132 --> 00:13:50,220
What if they wake up?
346
00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:52,092
They will.
347
00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:54,616
Now...go,
before theydo.
348
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,100
[ Strained ]
Remember me!
349
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:21,556
They're closed.
350
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:22,600
Oh.
351
00:14:22,774 --> 00:14:23,775
♪♪♪
352
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,302
[ Sighs ] God.
353
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:30,521
What are we about to
walk into here?
354
00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:32,001
[ Both sobbing ]
355
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:38,965
Damn it.
Everyone's still alive.
356
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,840
The feud that has
destroyed this family
357
00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:46,015
is at last resolved.
358
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:50,019
We finally realized
what the problem was.
359
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:51,673
Great.
What was it?
360
00:14:51,847 --> 00:14:53,109
You.
361
00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:56,460
What are you
talking about?
362
00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:59,768
Jo, you stoked the flames
of this feud.
363
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:01,509
You pitted us against
each other,
364
00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:04,381
like a demon
puppet-master.
365
00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:05,861
That's insane.
366
00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:07,907
Is it, Jo?
367
00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:09,952
Yesterday, when I asked you
if Chuy was mad at me,
368
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,476
you said,
"You know how he is."
369
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,696
And when I asked you
if Benicio was mad at me,
370
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,698
you said,
"You know how he is."
371
00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:18,482
So?
372
00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:20,441
How am I, Jo?
373
00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:22,138
And how am I?
374
00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:25,272
Like this!
375
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:29,015
Well, we disagree.
376
00:15:29,189 --> 00:15:30,407
You'rethe one who is.
377
00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:32,148
And who continues
to be "is."
378
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:35,760
Me?
[ Scoffs ]
379
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,546
I am the one who holds
this whole family together.
380
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,069
Listen, guys,
we're the only ones
381
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,637
who go to every party
and funeral.
382
00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:45,161
I mean, Jo is the glue
of your family.
383
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:47,207
And you actually think
I'm the problem?
384
00:15:47,381 --> 00:15:49,122
Yes,
that's what we just said.
385
00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:51,733
[ Chuckles ]
386
00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:53,387
Sure.
387
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:55,128
Hey, whatever helps you
sleep at night.
388
00:15:55,302 --> 00:15:56,607
1,000 burpees.
389
00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,522
Children's Benadryl
and vermouth.
390
00:16:02,352 --> 00:16:06,791
Chuy Marco
Alejandro Rodriguez,
391
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,011
I release the dibs.
392
00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:13,320
Benicio Alejandro
Marco Rodriguez,
393
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:14,756
I thank you.
394
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:15,975
We're brothers again.
395
00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:23,721
And, Sandy, you are
a miracle worker.
396
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,248
W-What did she do?
397
00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:35,081
I told them you can't
call dibs on a person.
398
00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:39,999
Well,
I think you can.
399
00:16:41,957 --> 00:16:43,828
Let's all go out
and celebrate!
400
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,440
Oh!
I'm buying, boys.[ Laughs ]
401
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:47,615
Okay, we'd love to,
but we can't.
402
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:48,703
We got the kids.
403
00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,487
Too bad!
Come on, fellas.
404
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,926
You know, you really got to
learn to enjoy the weekend, man.
405
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,276
By the way,
I'm Benicio.
406
00:16:58,234 --> 00:17:00,019
Well, we did it.
407
00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:01,933
Another weekend
in the books.
408
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,414
No,
we didn't do it.
409
00:17:04,588 --> 00:17:07,069
Emily's homework,
remember?
410
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:09,115
Unbelievable.
411
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:12,509
Every time we feel like
we're done, we're not done.
412
00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:14,337
Emily, let's go.
413
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,209
Why can't I just play
with Play-Doh?
414
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:17,558
It's in the name.
415
00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:22,041
Because you can't just
do whatever you want
every second, sweetie.
416
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:23,738
Youdo
whatever youwant.
417
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,957
[ Scoffs ]
418
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:27,742
What?!
419
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,831
Your dad wanted to
watch the game.
420
00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:31,659
I wanted to
get my nails done.
421
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:34,227
We didn't get to do anything
we wanted to do this weekend.
422
00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:36,055
Well,
I want ice cream.
423
00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:38,405
No.
Do your homework.
424
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:39,667
I'll do it
if you give me ice cream.
425
00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:41,669
No ice cream!
426
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:44,106
Okay? Go!
Do your homework! Now!
427
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,195
You're so mean!
I hate you, Mom!
428
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:50,939
[ Sighs ]
429
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,854
Wow, that was
an emotional hit job.
430
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:54,421
Alright.
431
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:55,726
Look,
she doesn't hate you.
432
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:56,901
I know, but still.
433
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,860
Gosh.
434
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:01,732
Why are, like, the simplest
things so hard?
435
00:18:01,906 --> 00:18:03,169
Yeah, I can't wait until
they're out of the house.
436
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:04,431
We can just sit here,
drinking naked.
437
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:11,655
Imagine doing
whatever we want again.
438
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:13,788
I would watch every game.
439
00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:16,791
The whole game.
440
00:18:16,965 --> 00:18:19,141
Any sport.
I don't care.
441
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:20,664
I would just sleep.
442
00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:22,231
Ooh. Me, too.
I change my answer.
443
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,538
That's a good one.
444
00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:26,931
I can't believe we've sacrificed
all our freedom
445
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,673
just to get screamed at.
446
00:18:29,847 --> 00:18:31,371
Babe, you know who
I'm almost jealous of?
447
00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:32,589
Hmm?
Luis.
448
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,115
He watched every game,
and then he died.
449
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:41,555
Death is sleep.
450
00:18:41,729 --> 00:18:44,819
Yeah, but only like eight people
showed up to his funeral.
451
00:18:44,993 --> 00:18:47,778
I don't know.
Maybe Chuy was right.
452
00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:49,345
You know,
maybe we should just...
453
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:52,870
try to enjoy this time
and slow down.
454
00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:56,135
Hey.
You know what?
455
00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:57,745
I bet 30 years from now,
456
00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:59,181
we'd kill
to have a weekend like this.
457
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:01,052
[ Chuckles ]
458
00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:04,012
Dude, I'm so tired.
459
00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:05,709
Like, I literally don't care
about anything.
460
00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:07,537
Do you?
461
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:09,670
Nope.
462
00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:12,151
Emily?
463
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:13,891
Let's have
some ice cream!
464
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:17,721
Ohh. Mm.
465
00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:20,681
I'm sorry, Mommy.
I love you.
466
00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,900
It's just that I get mad
when I don't get what I want.
467
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,598
I know, pumpkin.
468
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:25,947
Me, too.
469
00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:26,991
Yeah, me, too.
470
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,210
Oop.
471
00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:32,780
I'll do my homework.
472
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,216
Okay.
473
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,568
[ Sighs ]
474
00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:40,483
What lesson
did we just teach?
475
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:43,573
Who cares? Tomorrow, she's
the school's problem again.
476
00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:45,227
♪♪♪
477
00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:51,451
"My Weekend,
by Emily Ryan.
478
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:54,541
I went to two parties
and ate six pieces of cake."
479
00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:58,762
"My uncles fought
in my living room.
480
00:19:58,936 --> 00:20:01,069
Plus, my parents don't work
on weekends,
481
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:03,985
so I got to spend two whole days
with them.
482
00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:07,031
I have the best family."
483
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,034
Ohhhhh!
484
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,993
You see? She has no idea
we're completely inept.
485
00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:12,950
Mm.
486
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:16,258
What are you doing?
487
00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:17,259
Making the kids' lunches.
488
00:20:17,433 --> 00:20:18,695
Why?
489
00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:20,001
It's Monday.
490
00:20:20,175 --> 00:20:21,263
It's a holiday weekend.
491
00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:25,963
Boy, do I need it.
492
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:27,226
[ Slurps ]
493
00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:31,273
Ahhhhh.
494
00:20:40,935 --> 00:20:42,241
Excuse me.
495
00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:50,814
[ Slurps ]
496
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:52,990
Ahhhhhhh.
497
00:20:53,164 --> 00:20:56,472
Jo: Aaaaaaaaaaah!
498
00:20:56,646 --> 00:20:58,039
Uh-oh.
499
00:20:58,213 --> 00:20:59,910
♪♪♪
500
00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:00,998
Yeah!
501
00:21:03,087 --> 00:21:04,567
♪♪♪
33072
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