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1
00:00:04,701 --> 00:00:06,801
Alright, Bill, see ya.
2
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:08,719
- Later, buddy.
- Have a great weekend.
3
00:00:08,722 --> 00:00:09,746
What?
4
00:00:09,749 --> 00:00:11,443
Have a great week...
5
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:13,489
Wait, hold on. It's... It's Friday?
6
00:00:13,492 --> 00:00:15,592
Yeeeeeah.
7
00:00:16,495 --> 00:00:18,059
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
8
00:00:18,062 --> 00:00:19,234
This can't be.
9
00:00:19,237 --> 00:00:20,627
But... why not?
10
00:00:20,630 --> 00:00:22,730
You don't have kids.
11
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,123
When there's no school...
12
00:00:25,135 --> 00:00:27,235
there's no childcare.
13
00:00:27,332 --> 00:00:29,026
Bummer.
14
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,375
You don't understand!
15
00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:31,955
The weekend is worse than the week!
16
00:00:31,958 --> 00:00:33,862
Is someone filming
this?! Human resources?!
17
00:00:33,865 --> 00:00:35,965
Ken!
18
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:38,180
No, no, please, just give me more work!
19
00:00:39,649 --> 00:00:41,749
Aah! I want to stay here!
20
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:43,457
The weekend is worse than the week!
21
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,269
It's worse than the week!
22
00:00:45,272 --> 00:00:47,372
It's worse than the week!
23
00:00:48,145 --> 00:00:50,048
It's worse than the week!
24
00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:52,014
- Bill, Bill! Bill!
- Eh? Ah! Uh! Ah!
25
00:00:52,017 --> 00:00:53,539
- Bill!
- Oh!
26
00:00:53,542 --> 00:00:55,642
Oh, man, I just had a
nightmare it was the weekend.
27
00:00:56,267 --> 00:00:58,367
It is Saturday.
28
00:00:59,453 --> 00:01:01,553
So, I didn't scream at my office?
29
00:01:02,456 --> 00:01:03,720
I don't know.
30
00:01:03,723 --> 00:01:05,823
We'll find out Monday, I guess.
31
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:08,291
God.
32
00:01:08,294 --> 00:01:10,394
Remember how weekends used to be?
33
00:01:10,691 --> 00:01:11,806
Sleep till noon.
34
00:01:11,809 --> 00:01:13,909
Yeah, take off on my motorcycle.
35
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:15,100
Poop alone.
36
00:01:15,161 --> 00:01:17,137
Well, all that's gone.
37
00:01:17,141 --> 00:01:19,818
Now it's just kid stuff
and family obligations.
38
00:01:20,118 --> 00:01:21,639
Ooh, and this weekend,
39
00:01:21,642 --> 00:01:23,742
Emily has her first homework assignment.
40
00:01:24,688 --> 00:01:26,788
Come on. Emily has homework now?
41
00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:28,733
Just for the next 12 years.
42
00:01:28,736 --> 00:01:30,836
Happy Saturday.
43
00:01:32,957 --> 00:01:35,057
Hey.
44
00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:37,321
The kids are still asleep. So...
45
00:01:38,528 --> 00:01:41,481
You want to have nervous,
silent sex while we stare at the door?
46
00:01:55,984 --> 00:01:59,924
www.TUSUBTITULO.com
-DIFUNDE LA CULTURA-
47
00:02:01,132 --> 00:02:03,232
We want waffles.
48
00:02:04,484 --> 00:02:06,584
And we're off.
49
00:02:08,444 --> 00:02:10,544
Mmm. Toothpaste and coffee.
50
00:02:10,577 --> 00:02:12,677
The working man's peppermint latte.
51
00:02:13,928 --> 00:02:15,709
What's the damage today, Jo?
52
00:02:15,712 --> 00:02:17,812
We've got two kids' birthday parties.
53
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,452
Actual friends, fake school friends,
54
00:02:19,455 --> 00:02:21,555
family, or people we hate?
55
00:02:22,806 --> 00:02:24,588
Combo move.
56
00:02:24,591 --> 00:02:26,691
Lulu's friend and my
brother Benicio's kid.
57
00:02:27,376 --> 00:02:29,476
Do we have to go to the Benicio thing?
58
00:02:30,597 --> 00:02:32,697
Do you know how annoying
he'll be if we don't go?
59
00:02:33,164 --> 00:02:35,264
As annoying as if we do go?
60
00:02:35,515 --> 00:02:36,730
And we have a funeral.
61
00:02:36,733 --> 00:02:38,253
Oh, God!
62
00:02:38,256 --> 00:02:40,081
Your family constantly dies.
63
00:02:40,084 --> 00:02:42,184
Who is it this time?
64
00:02:43,174 --> 00:02:45,274
My cousin Luis. The
guy with all the turtles.
65
00:02:45,655 --> 00:02:47,306
Enh. They were tortoises.
66
00:02:47,309 --> 00:02:49,177
Well, whatever they were, he died,
67
00:02:49,180 --> 00:02:51,280
and they ate his toes.
68
00:02:51,313 --> 00:02:53,413
Hey. I hope you do that to me.
69
00:02:54,490 --> 00:02:56,590
At least both birthdays
are at Party Pizza,
70
00:02:56,971 --> 00:02:59,013
so, you know, we won't be
stuck in the car with the kids.
71
00:02:59,016 --> 00:03:00,885
Oh, thank God.
72
00:03:00,888 --> 00:03:02,234
Oh. Wait.
73
00:03:02,237 --> 00:03:04,018
No. Sorry.
74
00:03:04,021 --> 00:03:05,803
They're at two different Party Pizzas...
75
00:03:05,806 --> 00:03:07,239
40 miles apart?!
76
00:03:07,242 --> 00:03:08,849
What the...
77
00:03:08,852 --> 00:03:10,590
Aren't weekends relaxing?
78
00:03:10,593 --> 00:03:12,693
Ugh. Boy, do I need it.
79
00:03:13,857 --> 00:03:14,855
Why? What'd you do all week?
80
00:03:14,858 --> 00:03:16,378
Bought pantyhose,
81
00:03:16,381 --> 00:03:18,119
saw the dentist,
82
00:03:18,122 --> 00:03:20,222
mailed a letter.
83
00:03:21,430 --> 00:03:23,530
I don't know how I got it all done.
84
00:03:26,261 --> 00:03:28,361
Ooh, that's good joe.
85
00:03:33,877 --> 00:03:35,485
Tell you what... let's
just drive aimlessly
86
00:03:35,488 --> 00:03:37,588
- until that first party starts.
- Yeah.
87
00:03:38,229 --> 00:03:40,329
Oh, look. They're opening our gift.
88
00:03:40,449 --> 00:03:42,549
I grabbed something Lulu
never opened on her birthday.
89
00:03:43,147 --> 00:03:44,406
It's the perfect crime.
90
00:03:44,409 --> 00:03:46,509
Aw, look!
91
00:03:46,934 --> 00:03:49,034
"To Lulu. Happy Birthday.
92
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,340
Love, Daphne."
93
00:03:54,071 --> 00:03:55,069
Since you already hate us,
94
00:03:55,072 --> 00:03:57,172
we're gonna take a pizza for the car.
95
00:04:05,866 --> 00:04:07,691
Thank you.
96
00:04:07,694 --> 00:04:08,953
I mean, what are we
doing with our lives, huh?
97
00:04:08,956 --> 00:04:10,215
We work all week so we can do all this?
98
00:04:10,218 --> 00:04:11,521
Yes.
99
00:04:11,524 --> 00:04:12,957
You wanted to have kids.
100
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,060
Uh, no, I didn't. You did.
101
00:04:15,745 --> 00:04:17,845
Well, I guess there's been
a huge miscommunication.
102
00:04:19,053 --> 00:04:21,153
Come on, babe, why do we
have to go to allyour family events?
103
00:04:21,549 --> 00:04:23,649
Because otherwise, we're not a family.
104
00:04:24,334 --> 00:04:25,985
We're just a bunch of
people in the same city
105
00:04:25,988 --> 00:04:28,088
with the same nose.
106
00:04:28,208 --> 00:04:31,100
All I wanted to do today was
watch the U. Colorado game.
107
00:04:31,776 --> 00:04:33,036
You can do that.
108
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:35,139
Jo, we made one promise.
109
00:04:36,216 --> 00:04:38,215
To never lie to each other, okay?
110
00:04:38,218 --> 00:04:40,318
Please do not violate
that sacred covenant now,
111
00:04:40,611 --> 00:04:42,711
or we... have nothing.
112
00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:46,111
What if this weekend,
113
00:04:46,132 --> 00:04:49,529
we each got to do one
small thing for ourselves?
114
00:04:49,769 --> 00:04:51,115
Totally depends. What's yours?
115
00:04:51,118 --> 00:04:53,204
I'd like to get my nails done.
116
00:04:53,207 --> 00:04:55,249
My feet look like a
Johnny Depp necklace.
117
00:04:55,252 --> 00:04:57,352
Deal. Game today. Nails on Sunday.
118
00:04:57,603 --> 00:04:59,703
Whoo-hoo!
119
00:05:02,226 --> 00:05:04,326
Okay, Benicio is depressing,
120
00:05:04,489 --> 00:05:07,547
so don't encourage it
for your own amusement.
121
00:05:07,747 --> 00:05:09,723
Ah, come on. That's the only
joy I can get out of the guy.
122
00:05:10,016 --> 00:05:12,116
I've met him, like, 300 times.
He never remembers who I am.
123
00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:15,236
Nine siblings, and you're the only one
124
00:05:15,239 --> 00:05:17,325
who showed for my son's birthday.
125
00:05:17,328 --> 00:05:19,428
Typical.
126
00:05:20,375 --> 00:05:23,045
Benicio, I-I'm sure Chuy
just has our other brothers
127
00:05:23,078 --> 00:05:25,028
helping out at Luis' funeral.
128
00:05:25,031 --> 00:05:26,508
You know how he is.
129
00:05:26,511 --> 00:05:28,611
Oh, I know how he is.
130
00:05:28,687 --> 00:05:30,033
You know Chuy stole my life, right?
131
00:05:30,036 --> 00:05:32,136
- Yes.
- No. How?
132
00:05:33,605 --> 00:05:35,544
September 10, 2001.
133
00:05:35,693 --> 00:05:36,564
Oh, boy.
134
00:05:37,294 --> 00:05:39,394
I spot Brie Gonzalez
at the school dance,
135
00:05:39,601 --> 00:05:43,946
and I turn to my brother
Chuy, and I say, "Dibs."
136
00:05:46,434 --> 00:05:48,534
The next thing you know,
they're married and have kids,
137
00:05:48,654 --> 00:05:50,754
like I never had dibs.
138
00:05:50,873 --> 00:05:52,785
That's crazy.
139
00:05:52,788 --> 00:05:54,888
I should be living in his
house with his family,
140
00:05:54,964 --> 00:05:56,615
and he should be the one
141
00:05:56,618 --> 00:05:58,718
whose air mattress exploded last night.
142
00:05:59,099 --> 00:06:00,967
You can't call dibs on a person.
143
00:06:00,970 --> 00:06:02,447
I think you can, you know?
144
00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:04,550
I-I'm on your side.
145
00:06:04,809 --> 00:06:08,739
It may be Luis' funeral, but
it is Chuy who's dead to me.
146
00:06:08,917 --> 00:06:10,282
Forever.
147
00:06:10,402 --> 00:06:12,502
My sister's so rude.
148
00:06:12,621 --> 00:06:14,721
I'm Benicio, by the way.
149
00:06:15,494 --> 00:06:17,594
I'm... also Benicio.
150
00:06:28,594 --> 00:06:30,288
You're the only family who showed.
151
00:06:30,291 --> 00:06:31,811
Well, of course.
152
00:06:31,814 --> 00:06:33,465
I show up to everything.
153
00:06:33,468 --> 00:06:34,360
Where are the other brothers?
154
00:06:34,391 --> 00:06:37,339
I don't know. We just saw
Benicio at his kid's birthday.
155
00:06:37,342 --> 00:06:40,279
Hey, Benicio isn't still
talking about dibs, is he?
156
00:06:41,607 --> 00:06:43,258
Yeah, he was.
157
00:06:43,261 --> 00:06:44,520
You know how he is.
158
00:06:44,523 --> 00:06:46,623
Uh, yeah. I know how he is.
159
00:06:48,309 --> 00:06:50,409
Well, time to go crush this funeral.
160
00:06:52,748 --> 00:06:54,617
The game starts in an hour.
161
00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:55,630
Don't worry, babe.
We'll sit in the back.
162
00:06:55,687 --> 00:06:57,396
- If it goes too long, we'll sneak out.
- Okay, okay.
163
00:06:57,404 --> 00:06:58,850
Bill! Jo!
164
00:06:58,903 --> 00:07:01,003
There's seats up front! Get over here!
165
00:07:01,384 --> 00:07:03,484
Look at this whole row! Come with me!
166
00:07:05,322 --> 00:07:07,422
Okay, look, Chuy barely knew Luis.
167
00:07:07,464 --> 00:07:10,164
- This'll be 10 minutes, tops.
- Okay.
168
00:07:10,482 --> 00:07:12,582
First, I'd like to thank
the tortoise community
169
00:07:12,963 --> 00:07:15,063
for your incredible support.
170
00:07:17,054 --> 00:07:19,154
What can you say about Luis?
171
00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,184
Nothing.
172
00:07:20,187 --> 00:07:21,399
Good.
173
00:07:21,502 --> 00:07:23,971
But what can I say about Luis?
174
00:07:23,974 --> 00:07:26,060
A whole buttload of stuff.
175
00:07:26,063 --> 00:07:27,888
Bad.
176
00:07:27,891 --> 00:07:29,991
Luis loved baseball.
177
00:07:30,589 --> 00:07:32,689
He watched every Rockies game.
178
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:35,387
162 a year!
179
00:07:38,171 --> 00:07:39,054
In his honor,
180
00:07:39,107 --> 00:07:43,973
we will now take 162 moments of silence.
181
00:07:47,873 --> 00:07:49,973
One...
182
00:07:50,049 --> 00:07:51,830
Game starts in five minutes.
183
00:07:51,833 --> 00:07:53,615
Oh, just start recording it.
184
00:07:53,618 --> 00:07:55,718
Two...
185
00:07:56,229 --> 00:07:58,329
101...
186
00:07:59,363 --> 00:08:01,187
Why did Luis love tortoises?
187
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,189
Who cares?
188
00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,292
They're so slow,
189
00:08:05,934 --> 00:08:08,480
and everyone hates when things go slow.
190
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,154
Yeah, amen.
191
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,257
What's the rush? Hmm?
192
00:08:13,725 --> 00:08:15,376
Everyone's in a hurry to get somewhere
193
00:08:15,379 --> 00:08:17,479
better than where they are.
194
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,698
And all these things
that we rush past...
195
00:08:22,821 --> 00:08:24,921
well, that's life.
196
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,271
Slow down!
197
00:08:28,392 --> 00:08:30,492
Enjoy your life!
198
00:08:31,046 --> 00:08:33,146
Live.
199
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:34,960
Like.
200
00:08:34,963 --> 00:08:37,063
A.
201
00:08:37,966 --> 00:08:40,066
Tortoise.
202
00:08:42,101 --> 00:08:44,201
He always gets me at the end.
203
00:08:44,543 --> 00:08:46,943
Thank you, Denver! Good night!
204
00:08:47,685 --> 00:08:49,423
Okay, look, I-I got to get out of here
205
00:08:49,426 --> 00:08:50,903
before someone tells me the score.
206
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:53,006
- I'll just see you at the car, okay?
- Okay.
207
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,431
Bill, did you see the game?!
208
00:08:57,434 --> 00:08:59,302
No, Mo... Shh, shh, shh. I recorded it.
209
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,087
Wait, where is it?
210
00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:03,132
Oh, it asked if I wanted to record it,
211
00:09:03,135 --> 00:09:05,235
but I didn't see any reason,
'cause I was already watching it.
212
00:09:07,835 --> 00:09:09,935
And there you have it!
213
00:09:10,016 --> 00:09:13,438
The greatest comeback
victory in Colorado history!
214
00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:16,784
I feel bad for anyone who missed it!
215
00:09:21,980 --> 00:09:24,080
Please don't touch the
remote. I'm recording something.
216
00:09:27,465 --> 00:09:30,634
It's worse than the week!
It's worse than the week!
217
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,228
It's worse than the week!
218
00:09:32,237 --> 00:09:33,753
Bill! Eh! Ah! Ah!
219
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,373
Oh, no.
220
00:09:35,573 --> 00:09:37,094
I just had a nightmare it's...
221
00:09:37,294 --> 00:09:38,351
It is Sunday.
222
00:09:40,552 --> 00:09:42,652
The kids are still asleep, so...
223
00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:53,315
Let me guess. You want pancakes?
224
00:09:53,318 --> 00:09:55,418
No. Cereal.
225
00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:02,541
So, JoJo, Sunday plans. What do you got?
226
00:10:02,544 --> 00:10:04,644
Uh, there's...
227
00:10:05,809 --> 00:10:07,909
nothing.
228
00:10:09,377 --> 00:10:11,477
No parties, nothing with my family.
229
00:10:12,598 --> 00:10:14,379
Oh, my God.
230
00:10:14,382 --> 00:10:16,482
I have dreamed of this day for so long.
231
00:10:17,429 --> 00:10:19,529
I know.
232
00:10:19,773 --> 00:10:21,873
Now that it's here, I have
no idea what to do with it.
233
00:10:22,211 --> 00:10:23,905
Ooh, I have an idea...
234
00:10:23,908 --> 00:10:25,907
nothing.
235
00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:27,126
Just relax.
236
00:10:27,129 --> 00:10:28,910
- Oh, yes.
- Right?
237
00:10:28,913 --> 00:10:31,013
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just
stay home and relax.
238
00:10:31,568 --> 00:10:33,668
Oh, my gosh. That
actually sounds amazing.
239
00:10:37,226 --> 00:10:38,920
Bang! Bang! Bang! Whap! Bang!
240
00:10:38,923 --> 00:10:41,009
Ahhhh!
241
00:10:41,012 --> 00:10:43,112
We got to get out of here.
242
00:10:44,015 --> 00:10:45,100
What can we do?
243
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,559
And don't say...
244
00:10:47,016 --> 00:10:48,405
or they will make us do it.
245
00:10:48,408 --> 00:10:49,755
A movie?
246
00:10:49,758 --> 00:10:51,858
Movie! We're going to a movie!
247
00:10:52,674 --> 00:10:54,774
Oopsie doodle.
248
00:10:55,938 --> 00:10:57,458
Fine, we'll take you to a movie,
249
00:10:57,461 --> 00:10:59,199
but then you have to do
your homework tonight.
250
00:10:59,202 --> 00:11:01,302
Yay! I'll get my jacket!
251
00:11:02,466 --> 00:11:04,566
Okay, look, babe, after the movie,
252
00:11:04,686 --> 00:11:05,771
I'll take the kids to the food court,
253
00:11:05,774 --> 00:11:07,207
and you can get your nails done.
254
00:11:07,210 --> 00:11:09,310
And then a bottle of wine and oblivion.
255
00:11:11,693 --> 00:11:13,793
Can't wait for that.
256
00:11:15,479 --> 00:11:17,260
I literally can't wait for that.
257
00:11:17,263 --> 00:11:19,363
I'm gonna make that happen right now.
258
00:11:19,581 --> 00:11:22,795
Okay, you get the car,
I'll get the kids, okay?
259
00:11:22,895 --> 00:11:24,409
Kids! Come on! Let's go!
260
00:11:24,412 --> 00:11:27,351
I can't find my jacket!
261
00:11:28,286 --> 00:11:29,493
Emily's jacket.
262
00:11:29,496 --> 00:11:31,996
You left it at the funeral yesterday.
263
00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:34,343
Thank you, but we we really got to go.
264
00:11:34,346 --> 00:11:36,446
Oh, I'll be brief. Please, come in.
265
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,407
I-I can't stop thinking about
what God said yesterday.
266
00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:44,671
When He spoke through
me at Luis' funeral.
267
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,399
Chuy, we're really in a hurry.
268
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:49,140
Well, when God and I said that
269
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,243
everyone is in way
too much of a hurry...
270
00:11:51,450 --> 00:11:53,550
Okay, yeah, but we
actually arein a hurry, okay?
271
00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:57,801
Lulu's jacket.
272
00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:59,237
You left it at Jose's party.
273
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,804
Thank you, Beni.
274
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,806
Uh, kids, we got to get out of here!
275
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,909
That's okay. I've got a minute.
276
00:12:04,985 --> 00:12:07,071
Brother.
277
00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:09,174
Once upon a time.
278
00:12:09,511 --> 00:12:11,611
I see what you did, Jo.
279
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:13,599
You left one jacket at the
funeral and the other at...
280
00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:15,702
At Jose's party, knowing
we would each feel compelled
281
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,168
to return the jacket...
282
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,256
And settle the feud
283
00:12:18,259 --> 00:12:20,359
- between us.
- Between us.
284
00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:21,901
Right. Yeah.
285
00:12:21,905 --> 00:12:23,827
'Cause we're not just
two stressed-out people
286
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,930
with kids leaving crap everywhere we go.
287
00:12:26,964 --> 00:12:28,983
This ends right here, right now.
288
00:12:29,083 --> 00:12:30,995
Hey, do you guys maybe
want to do this at a Starbucks?
289
00:12:30,998 --> 00:12:33,098
'Cause...
290
00:12:42,358 --> 00:12:43,573
Hey, aren't you worried?
291
00:12:43,576 --> 00:12:45,676
No. I hope they kill each other.
292
00:12:46,884 --> 00:12:49,740
Alright, we made it, with
three minutes to spare.
293
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,030
Ha! For once, our family
didn't blow up our lives.
294
00:12:52,585 --> 00:12:53,844
Uh-oh.
295
00:12:53,847 --> 00:12:55,947
What?
296
00:13:00,376 --> 00:13:02,200
My God.
297
00:13:02,203 --> 00:13:03,332
I mean, we can't wake them.
298
00:13:03,335 --> 00:13:04,942
No way.
299
00:13:04,945 --> 00:13:07,045
They'll turn into demons.
300
00:13:07,731 --> 00:13:09,599
Bye, movie.
301
00:13:09,602 --> 00:13:11,688
Bye, $50.
302
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,791
You know, I swear,
they're messing with us.
303
00:13:15,865 --> 00:13:18,666
Another weekend disaster.
304
00:13:18,954 --> 00:13:20,697
Ohh. No, come on, babe.
305
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:21,788
Look, I missed my game,
306
00:13:21,797 --> 00:13:23,483
but you can still go
get your nails done.
307
00:13:23,486 --> 00:13:25,586
I can't leave you alone.
308
00:13:25,618 --> 00:13:27,718
You have to.
309
00:13:28,316 --> 00:13:29,314
I can't.
310
00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:32,907
I'm already dead. It's too late for me.
311
00:13:33,074 --> 00:13:34,637
But you can still live.
312
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,740
Go. Get your nails done.
313
00:13:38,296 --> 00:13:39,555
What if they wake up?
314
00:13:39,558 --> 00:13:41,427
They will.
315
00:13:41,430 --> 00:13:43,530
Now... go, before they do.
316
00:13:48,089 --> 00:13:50,189
Remember me!
317
00:14:10,154 --> 00:14:10,891
They're closed.
318
00:14:10,894 --> 00:14:12,994
Oh.
319
00:14:14,306 --> 00:14:15,913
God.
320
00:14:15,916 --> 00:14:18,016
What are we about to walk into here?
321
00:14:24,968 --> 00:14:27,068
Damn it. Everyone's still alive.
322
00:14:30,428 --> 00:14:32,794
The feud that has destroyed this family
323
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,554
is at last resolved.
324
00:14:35,762 --> 00:14:37,630
We finally realized
what the problem was.
325
00:14:37,633 --> 00:14:40,117
Great. What was it?
326
00:14:40,317 --> 00:14:41,387
You.
327
00:14:42,384 --> 00:14:44,470
What are you talking about?
328
00:14:44,473 --> 00:14:47,296
Jo, you stoked the flames of this feud.
329
00:14:47,781 --> 00:14:49,519
You pitted us against each other,
330
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,622
like a demon puppet-master.
331
00:14:52,394 --> 00:14:53,871
That's insane.
332
00:14:53,874 --> 00:14:55,039
Is it, Jo?
333
00:14:55,347 --> 00:14:57,389
Yesterday, when I asked
you if Chuy was mad at me,
334
00:14:57,392 --> 00:14:59,492
you said, "You know how he is."
335
00:14:59,916 --> 00:15:02,016
And when I asked you if
Benicio was mad at me,
336
00:15:02,136 --> 00:15:04,135
you said, "You know how he is."
337
00:15:04,138 --> 00:15:05,919
So?
338
00:15:05,922 --> 00:15:07,878
How am I, Jo?
339
00:15:07,881 --> 00:15:09,981
And how am I?
340
00:15:11,101 --> 00:15:13,201
Like this!
341
00:15:14,322 --> 00:15:16,422
Well, we disagree.
342
00:15:16,455 --> 00:15:17,844
You're the one who is.
343
00:15:17,847 --> 00:15:19,947
And who continues to be "is."
344
00:15:21,416 --> 00:15:22,467
Me?
345
00:15:22,543 --> 00:15:25,357
I am the one who holds
this whole family together.
346
00:15:25,394 --> 00:15:26,685
Listen, guys, we're the only ones
347
00:15:26,688 --> 00:15:28,788
who go to every party and funeral.
348
00:15:29,669 --> 00:15:31,769
I mean, Jo is the glue of your family.
349
00:15:32,193 --> 00:15:34,236
And you actually think I'm the problem?
350
00:15:34,239 --> 00:15:36,339
Yes, that's what we just said.
351
00:15:38,765 --> 00:15:40,416
Sure.
352
00:15:40,419 --> 00:15:42,157
Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night.
353
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:43,636
1,000 burpees.
354
00:15:43,639 --> 00:15:45,739
Children's Benadryl and vermouth.
355
00:15:49,210 --> 00:15:51,310
Chuy Marco Alejandro Rodriguez,
356
00:15:53,824 --> 00:15:55,924
I release the dibs.
357
00:15:57,653 --> 00:15:59,753
Benicio Alejandro Marco Rodriguez,
358
00:16:00,352 --> 00:16:01,785
I thank you.
359
00:16:01,788 --> 00:16:03,888
We're brothers again.
360
00:16:06,795 --> 00:16:10,336
And, Sandy, you are a miracle worker.
361
00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:14,640
W-What did she do?
362
00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:21,547
I told them you can't
call dibs on a person.
363
00:16:25,074 --> 00:16:27,174
Well, I think you can.
364
00:16:28,077 --> 00:16:29,772
Let's all go out and celebrate!
365
00:16:29,808 --> 00:16:32,223
Oh! I'm buying, boys.
366
00:16:32,734 --> 00:16:33,906
Okay, we'd love to, but we can't.
367
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:34,994
We got the kids.
368
00:16:34,997 --> 00:16:37,097
Too bad! Come on, fellas.
369
00:16:38,175 --> 00:16:40,883
You know, you really got to
learn to enjoy the weekend, man.
370
00:16:40,921 --> 00:16:43,321
By the way, I'm Benicio.
371
00:16:44,218 --> 00:16:46,174
Well, we did it.
372
00:16:46,177 --> 00:16:48,089
Another weekend in the books.
373
00:16:48,092 --> 00:16:50,192
No, we didn't do it.
374
00:16:50,272 --> 00:16:52,672
Emily's homework, remember?
375
00:16:53,227 --> 00:16:55,270
Unbelievable.
376
00:16:55,273 --> 00:16:57,373
Every time we feel like
we're done, we're not done.
377
00:16:58,667 --> 00:17:00,492
Emily, let's go.
378
00:17:00,495 --> 00:17:02,364
Why can't I just play with Play-Doh?
379
00:17:02,367 --> 00:17:04,467
It's in the name.
380
00:17:04,780 --> 00:17:06,880
Because you can't just do whatever
you want every second, sweetie.
381
00:17:07,522 --> 00:17:09,622
You do whatever you want.
382
00:17:11,439 --> 00:17:13,220
What?!
383
00:17:13,223 --> 00:17:15,309
Your dad wanted to watch the game.
384
00:17:15,312 --> 00:17:17,137
I wanted to get my nails done.
385
00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:19,240
We didn't get to do anything
we wanted to do this weekend.
386
00:17:19,708 --> 00:17:21,533
Well, I want ice cream.
387
00:17:21,536 --> 00:17:23,636
No. Do your homework.
388
00:17:23,886 --> 00:17:25,145
I'll do it if you give me ice cream.
389
00:17:25,148 --> 00:17:27,147
No ice cream!
390
00:17:27,150 --> 00:17:29,250
Okay? Go! Do your homework! Now!
391
00:17:29,587 --> 00:17:31,687
You're so mean! I hate you, Mom!
392
00:17:36,420 --> 00:17:38,332
Wow, that was an emotional hit job.
393
00:17:38,335 --> 00:17:39,899
Alright.
394
00:17:39,902 --> 00:17:41,204
Look, she doesn't hate you.
395
00:17:41,207 --> 00:17:42,380
I know, but still.
396
00:17:42,383 --> 00:17:43,581
Gosh.
397
00:17:43,810 --> 00:17:46,590
Why are, like, the
simplest things so hard?
398
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:48,116
Yeah, I can't wait until
they're out of the house.
399
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:50,219
We can just sit here, drinking naked.
400
00:17:54,342 --> 00:17:56,442
Imagine doing whatever we want again.
401
00:17:56,605 --> 00:17:58,705
I would watch every game.
402
00:17:58,738 --> 00:18:00,838
The whole game.
403
00:18:01,741 --> 00:18:03,841
Any sport. I don't care.
404
00:18:04,091 --> 00:18:05,611
I would just sleep.
405
00:18:05,614 --> 00:18:07,178
Ooh. Me, too. I change my answer.
406
00:18:07,181 --> 00:18:09,281
That's a good one.
407
00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:11,588
I can't believe we've
sacrificed all our freedom
408
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,982
just to get screamed at.
409
00:18:14,623 --> 00:18:16,318
Babe, you know who
I'm almost jealous of?
410
00:18:16,321 --> 00:18:18,421
- Hmm?
- Luis.
411
00:18:19,388 --> 00:18:21,488
He watched every game, and then he died.
412
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:25,535
Death is sleep.
413
00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:28,103
Yeah, but only like eight
people showed up to his funeral.
414
00:18:29,267 --> 00:18:31,367
I don't know. Maybe Chuy was right.
415
00:18:32,226 --> 00:18:33,790
You know, maybe we should just...
416
00:18:33,793 --> 00:18:36,877
try to enjoy this time and slow down.
417
00:18:38,755 --> 00:18:40,580
Hey. You know what?
418
00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:42,190
I bet 30 years from now,
419
00:18:42,193 --> 00:18:44,293
we'd kill to have a weekend like this.
420
00:18:45,501 --> 00:18:47,601
Dude, I'm so tired.
421
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,154
Like, I literally don't
care about anything.
422
00:18:50,157 --> 00:18:51,982
Do you?
423
00:18:51,985 --> 00:18:54,085
Nope.
424
00:18:54,118 --> 00:18:56,218
Emily?
425
00:18:56,599 --> 00:18:58,699
Let's have some ice cream!
426
00:19:02,169 --> 00:19:04,269
I'm sorry, Mommy. I love you.
427
00:19:04,674 --> 00:19:07,229
It's just that I get mad
when I don't get what I want.
428
00:19:07,348 --> 00:19:09,043
I know, pumpkin.
429
00:19:09,046 --> 00:19:10,392
Me, too.
430
00:19:10,395 --> 00:19:11,437
Yeah, me, too.
431
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,540
Oop.
432
00:19:15,966 --> 00:19:17,225
I'll do my homework.
433
00:19:17,228 --> 00:19:19,328
Okay.
434
00:19:23,016 --> 00:19:25,116
What lesson did we just teach?
435
00:19:25,839 --> 00:19:28,467
Who cares? Tomorrow, she's
the school's problem again.
436
00:19:33,026 --> 00:19:35,126
"My Weekend, by Emily Ryan.
437
00:19:35,531 --> 00:19:38,643
I went to two parties and
ate six pieces of cake."
438
00:19:39,339 --> 00:19:41,439
"My uncles fought in my living room.
439
00:19:42,298 --> 00:19:44,398
Plus, my parents don't work on weekends,
440
00:19:44,605 --> 00:19:46,705
so I got to spend two
whole days with them.
441
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,621
I have the best family."
442
00:19:50,568 --> 00:19:52,668
Ohhhhh!
443
00:19:53,571 --> 00:19:55,526
You see? She has no
idea we're completely inept.
444
00:19:58,184 --> 00:19:59,791
What are you doing?
445
00:19:59,794 --> 00:20:00,792
Making the kids' lunches.
446
00:20:00,795 --> 00:20:02,228
Why?
447
00:20:02,231 --> 00:20:03,534
It's Monday.
448
00:20:03,537 --> 00:20:05,637
It's a holiday weekend.
449
00:20:07,236 --> 00:20:09,336
Boy, do I need it.
450
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,820
Ahhhhh.
451
00:20:24,297 --> 00:20:26,397
Excuse me.
452
00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:36,450
Ahhhhhhh.
453
00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:38,626
Aaaaaaaaaaah!
454
00:20:40,008 --> 00:20:42,108
Uh-oh.
455
00:20:42,193 --> 00:20:50,184
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