Original subtitles

(intense music)

- Hmm, it's a fine piece of writing, Tim.

You should be very proud.

- Well, right now I'm too busy being scared to be proud.

(audience laughter)

- You can stop worrying.

Butterball's probably on his way

to some remote CRUSH hideout by now.

- Boy, I sure hope so.

'Cause I just cannot get over the feeling

that he is not about to forget

that I was partially responsible

for putting him behind bars in the first place.

- Oh, Tim, Butterball knows your government's

Top Seek agents are hot on his trail.

I doubt if he's gonna take time

to settle a private vendetta.

No matter how vindictive he feels toward you.

- I suppose you're right.

- Well, I'd better take off now.

I'm going to test my new gyro up in the hills tonight.

- And leave me all alone?

(audience laughter)

- Tim.

- Well, I'm sorry.

You go ahead, I'll be fine.

- Well, I wouldn't leave you if I thought otherwise.

I'll see you in the morning, Tim.

- I hope so. (audience laughter)

(intense music)

- Say hello to Delilah, baby.

Delilah wants you to wake up, baby.

- Well, who are you?

(audience laughter)

Who are you?

- She's Delilah.

Something new in secret weapons.

Well, O'Hara.

It seems CRUSH has a little score to settle with you, hmm?

(intense music)

(beeping)

(upbeat music)

(intense music)

- Seven eight thousandths of a drossel off center.

Hmm.

That could've been disastrous.

I don't see how I possibly could've made

that gross an error in my calculations.

Hmm.

Now why would Tim leave the door open

on a chilly night like this?

Tim?

Tim?

Tim, where are you?

Hmm.

Probably just went to the drugstore.

Let's see now, where was I?

Oh, yes.

The gyro seven eight thousandths off...

(curious music)

Hmm.

Ah, so that's it.

Some young lady persuaded him to take her out.

And I'll bet she didn't have to use a gun on him either.

(explosion)

(audience laughter)

(intensifying music)

Tim?

(Tim grunting)

Tim?

- Uncle Martin?

Where are you?

- At home.

I'm using PTA.

- P-T-A?

- Pictorial Telepathy Audio.

A further development of mental telepathy audio.

- Oh.

- Do you know where you are?

- No, no I was blindfolded.

I can tell you one thing though.

This isn't Buckingham Palace.

(audience laughter)

And I wouldn't exactly call

the reading matter here inspirational.

(audience laughter)

- Now listen carefully, Tim.

I'm going to try to find you with mental telepathy audio.

You're going to have to keep up a steady stream of talk

so I can zero in on your sound waves.

- Oh great.

Well, suppose I just keep yelling, "Help."

- It doesn't make any difference.

Just so I have sound waves to vector on.

(door opening)

- Uncle Martin?

I think Butterball's coming back.

You know, he has some ridiculous idea

that I'm an agent for Top Seek.

He keeps threatening to make me sing.

- An excellent idea.

Why don't you accommodate him?

- Well, you know that I don't know

the first thing about Top Seek.

I wouldn't know one agent from--

oh.

You mean sing?

- Anything, as long as I can get a fix on your position.

Over and out.

* My Bonnie lies over the ocean

* My Bonnie lies over the sea

* My Bonnie lies over the ocean

* Oh bring back my Bonnie to me

(threatening music)

* My Bonnie lies over the ocean

* My Bonnie lies over the sea

- Hi Butterball.

You like the music? (audience laughter)

* My Bonnie lies over the ocean

* So bring back my Bonnie to me

(Butterball snaps) * Bring back--

* Bring back

* Oh bring back my Bonnie to me, to me

* Bring back, bring back

* Oh bring--

* Bring back, bring back

* Oh bring back my Bonnie to me

* My Bonnie lies over the ocean

* My Bonnie lies over the sea

* My Bonnie--

Come on, we're not formal here Butterball,

you just go ahead and join in.

If you don't know the lyrics, well, you can just hum along.

* My Bonnie lies over the ocean

(Tim humming)

* My Bonnie lies over the sea

* My--

- Very interesting O'Hara.

Do you really think to discourage me

with this false display of bravado?

- Oh, come on Butterball.

Don't you like to have any fun?

Now, do you know Down By the Old Mill Stream?

- Oh yes.

I buried my last three victims there.

(Tim laughs) (audience laughter)

- You're just a bundle of laughs.

I guess you don't like that one.

Come to think of it, I'm not so fond of it myself right now.

Alright, how 'bout this?

Now, why don't you just all join in.

Ready?

And a-one and a-two.

* In her hair she wore a yellow ribbon

* She wore it in the winter and the merry month of May

(beeping) (cat meowing)

- What am I doing?

I'm trying to locate my friend, who is in mortal danger.

(beeping)

No, no, we are not shooting a new

cloak-and-dagger spy series for television.

(cat meows)

I don't care how corny the dialogue sounds to you.

Now, would you kindly stop interrupting me?

(cat meows) Huh?

Will you please? (cat meows)

(beeping)

* Far away

* Far away

- Oh, stop that caterwauling.

- What's the matter Butterball?

Can't you take it?

- Oh, I can take it alright, my friend.

(chuckles)

But I just realized what you're up to.

(chuckles)

Somewhere on your person,

you have a miniature transmitter hidden.

- Transmitter?

What would I be doing with a miniature transmitter?

- Enabling your friends at Top Seek to zero in on you.

However, you may continue with the concert if you choose.

It won't help you anymore.

- Why not?

- Why not?

Because I have just pulled a switch

on our decibel dissipater.

It effectively disperses the sound waves

into a multitude of directions.

Your friends at Top Seek won't be able to pinpoint them.

I believe the next line of your song is,

* It's for her lover, who is far, far away

(audience laughter)

Mama always wanted me to sing on the stage.

(audience laughter)

(cat meows)

- I've lost contact.

(cat meows)

I asked you before not to interfere with my beam.

(cat meows)

I don't care how many pastramis on rye you smell in there,

I--

Oh, so that's what you've been trying to tell me, huh?

(cat meows)

Thanks buddy.

(cat meows)

(curious music)

- Well, well.

Welcome to CRUSH headquarters Mr. O'Hara.

And my congratulations on evading

our little booby trap lipstick.

- Sorry to disappoint you, Butterball.

- Hmm, I'm not sorry.

Quite the contrary.

I'm delighted.

Perhaps now we can have a duet on Top Seek activities.

- Don't hold your breath.

I'm not about to tell you anything.

(Butterball chuckles)

- No, you'll change your mind, Mr. O'Hara.

CRUSH has a talent for extracting information.

As your young nephew is discovering at this very moment.

- If you harm Tim, I'll reduce you

to a quivering mass of glutinous blob.

- Oh, please.

Not while I'm eating.

(audience laughter)

(audience laughter)

They don't make windows the way they used to.

Well, to resume our conversation, Mr. O'Hara--

- Nevermind our conversation.

What have you done with Tim?

- That's for me to know, and for you to find out.

- I intend to.

(quavering notes)

- Headache, Mr. O'Hara?

- Don't you ever think about anything but lasagna?

(Butterball chuckles)

- Of course.

Oh, sometimes I think of tender roast chickens,

and mashed potatoes, and--

How did you know I was thinking of lasagna?

- I read your mind.

- You mean you read my dossier.

Top Seek certainly is thorough.

Imagine.

Even noting my food preferences.

- Mm, they couldn't care less.

And neither could I.

Now where's Tim?

- What difference can that possibly make to you, Mr. O'Hara?

You're in no position to go to his rescue.

As a matter of fact, you're not going anywhere

until you tell me when the International Committee

is meeting at Top Seek headquarters.

- They didn't confide in me.

- You're being difficult.

Well, we can remedy that.

CRUSH has an excellent memory refresher course.

Look behind you, Mr. O'Hara.

The gasses that will shortly escape

from those two pipes, Mr. O'Hara, are unique.

Each by itself is harmless.

But when they are intermingled, one sniff is fatal.

It takes exactly ten minutes for them to blend, Mr. O'Hara.

So I suggest you'd better start refreshing your memory.

(intense music)

Delilah, ring for Glob.

And tell him, tell him we have a canary

who needs a singing lesson.

Thank you.

Now O'Hara, one last chance before Glob

begins the fun and games. (audience laughter)

You're looking a little pale, O'Hara.

- Well let's just say that I,

I don't get out in the sun very much.

(audience laughter)

(audience laughter)

- Come in, Glob.

(curious music)

Don't underestimate Glob, O'Hara.

What he lacks in size,

he more than makes up for in evil content.

(audience laughter) (Glob laughs)

Persuasion tactic number one.

(intensifying music)

- (chuckles) That's a goody.

(audience laughter)

- We're going to have a game of darts O'Hara.

And guess who's the target?

- Why don't we all go bowling?

- Mm, but darts are fun.

And these are tipped with zombie syrup.

One shot of the serum and you and Delilah

will make such a lovely couple.

- Oh, I thought her heart wasn't in this.

(audience laughter)

- None, since she's feeling no pain.

Well, O'Hara?

You going to talk?

- Get lost.

(chuckles)

- You'll change your tune.

Carry on Glob.

I have to see a man about getting some gas.

- Well, you wait until Uncle Martin gets here.

And he will, I know it.

- Oh goodness me.

I forgot to tell you that your uncle is here.

But I wouldn't look to him for any help O'Hara.

You see, he's the man that's getting the gas.

(chuckles)

Carry on.

(intense music)

(quavering notes)

(coughing)

That wasn't very nice Mr. O'Hara.

You're out of the cage.

How did you do that?

- You'd never believe me, sir.

- I must say, I'm most impressed.

A man of your talents could go very far in our organization.

How would you like to work for CRUSH, Mr. O'Hara?

- Oh, I hate temporary jobs.

- It'd hardly be that.

CRUSH is here to stay.

We'll sweep all before us.

Today the world, tomorrow, perhaps, Mars.

- Mars?

- Yes, why not?

It'd be a wonderful planet from which to police the Earth.

- Well, I don't think the Martians will like the idea.

(Butterball laughs)

- Martians.

I wager to say you believe in the Sandman too.

Well, Mr. O'Hara.

Are you ready to talk?

- I wouldn't tell you the time of day.

- You're trying my patience, Mr. O'Hara.

This is a very deadly weapon,

so don't try any hanky panky, sir.

- Fascinating.

I've never seen an armed banana before.

(audience laughter)

- Now then.

Move, Mr. O'Hara.

- Where to?

- To join your nephew.

And where he is, you won't like.

(intense music)

- How could you allow yourself to get caught?

- I wanted Butterball to lead me to you.

I didn't know where you were.

- Well, what are we waiting for?

Come on, get us outta here.

- Not yet.

By now, I'm sure you've gathered that CRUSH

has some diabolic plan in mind

to destroy Top Seek and the International Committee.

We have to learn what that plan is, Tim, and foil it.

- Well, we're not gonna find out anything

waiting for Glob to come back and stick darts in us.

- Well, I wanna try reading Glob's mind.

Maybe I can get the information from him.

- Oh, I doubt it.

All he ever says is, "Oh, that's a goody."

Not gonna find out anything from her either.

She's full of that, that zombie juice.

- Oh, is that what it is?

I wondered why her mind was a blank.

Tim, it may just work.

Uh, Delilah.

We have a message for Butterball.

Come here please.

- A message?

- Kiss her.

- Hmm?

- When she comes near you, kiss her.

Don't argue.

- Well, some men get a last meal when they're condemned.

(chuckles)

I get to kiss a pretty girl.

(audience laughter)

I have the message.

(sultry music)

Closer.

Closer.

- I'm not that kind of a girl.

- Well she's awake.

Hey, I must be some kisser. (audience laughter)

- Sleeping Beauty syndrome.

You're the prince who awakened the Sleeping Beauty, Tim.

- Yeah, how 'bout that?

- What are you talking about?

The fat man Butterball.

We have to warn Top Seek.

- You know the plan?

- Yes, I work for the phone company

in the blueprint department.

I was working late one night,

and Butterball came in and he made me give him

all the plans for the underground wiring.

That's all I remember.

Here, let me undo you.

- No, no, no, they're coming back.

Pretend nothing has changed.

What's the plan, quickly.

- There's a switchboard in the cellar

and it's wired to the Top Seek line.

All Butterball has to do is dial the Top Seek phone number

at the right time from the switchboard here, and--

- And the building will go up like, like an atomic bomb.

Alright Delilah, just play it cool.

(intense music)

- Well...

Cozy as two peas in a pod.

- And what makes you so happy?

- The prospect of action, my dear fellow.

The gun, my dear. (audience laughter)

Well, our little game has ended.

I have the information I want,

so we can dispense with your services.

- Oh, oh, oh, oh you're gonna let us go.

- Hardly. (chuckles)

You're both such blabbermouths.

When I say dispense, I mean permanently.

- Then you know when the committee is meeting at Top Seek?

- Yes indeed.

Mama came through.

You see, she's been working

as a cleaning lady in the building.

Somebody was just a little bit careless.

They let slip that midnight tonight is the witching hour.

Exactly one hour from now.

The mechanism is triggered, and at midnight,

I shall make a most important phone call.

Well, gentlemen, it's been nice knowing you.

(slide whistle) (audience laughter)

- Oh, that's a goody.

(audience laughter)

- Well, they sorta make a cute couple, don't they?

(audience) - Only in a gruesome way.

Alright Tim, Delilah, down in the cellar.

(curious music)

(Tim coughs)

- To you.

(intensifying music)

What's taking so long, Uncle Martin?

It's 11:35, we only have 25 minutes left.

- I can't find the mechanism that triggers the bomb.

I'm not getting a thing.

- Oh, that's just great.

- You better phone Top Seek and warn them, Tim.

At least they can clear the building

in case I'm not successful.

No, no, no, no, no, not that phone.

The timing device might be inaccurate.

We could blow the works ourselves.

- Oh.

- There's a phone around the corner.

- Oh great, good luck Uncle Martin.

- I'll need it.

(curious music)

(ticking)

In here.

- I haven't got a coin for the phone.

- Wait, well maybe I do.

Gloves, shoe horn, wallet, parking ticket, parking ticket?

Now where did I get that? (audience laughter)

(ticking)

- Hurry, Mama.

- Calm yourself sonny, you'll make yourself sick.

- I've got to make that phone call.

- It's ten minutes to disaster time.

(audience laughter)

- Perfume bottle, bracelet, compact, comb, I got it.

(Tim grunts)

- [Man] Hello, Kelsey's Garage.

- Garage?

How can you be a garage?

- [Man] All it takes is a couple of gas pumps, wiseguy.

(audience laughter)

- Oh no, no, no, don't hang up, please,

I made a mistake, now listen, it--

I got my dime back.

Only this time I'm going through the operator.

- [Operator] May I help you please?

- Yes, operator, I called the wrong number--

(coin clinks) Hey.

You just deposited my coin.

- [Operator] If you will give me your name and address,

I will mail you stamps to cover.

- I don't wanna write anybody, I wanna call them.

Now listen, the number is Liberty-6-2--

- Your coin has been deposited,

I will mail you stamps to cover.

Kindly hang up and redial, please.

(audience laughter)

- Operator, you don't understand, listen, you can't,

Operator, listen, Oper-- (audience laughter)

I cut myself off.

(intense music)

(ticking)

(intense music)

- You're wasting your time.

Your plan is doomed.

- You're whistling in the dark, Mr. O'Hara.

In less than five minutes, I will telephone Top Seek,

and boom. (chuckles)

I do like things that go boom in the night.

(audience laughter)

- You'll be blowing up an empty building.

My nephew has already phoned Top Seek

and warned them to evacuate.

- [Tim] We couldn't make the call,

did you find the mechan-- (audience laughter)

(intensifying music)

- One more minute, gentlemen.

- Do something.

- I can't, my hands are tied.

I can't even move a finger.

- Your nose.

- This is no time to worry about my appearance, Tim.

- No, no, I mean wiggle it.

Remember, you did it once before and it worked.

- Oh yes, of course,

like that young witch you have on television.

- Yeah, that's it.

- Well it's a great deal less efficient

than the levitating finger, but, under the circumstances.

(quavering notes)

- Thirty seconds.

(quavering notes)

Now.

(quavering notes)

- You did it.

- Oh, that's a goody.

- Remind me to send flowers to my favorite witch.

(audience laughter)

(curious music)