All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S03E20.The.Man.from.Uncle.Martin.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb_Subtítulos01.ENG

- [Uncle Martin] Tim I don't
know when I'll get that

spaceship in working order.

I must confess I'm discouraged.

- [Tim] Well, I didn't know
you martians were subject

to human emotion.

- Well it's only because
I've been here so long.

It's like becoming acclomated.

One of these days
I'll probably catch

your common cold again.

- Good.

Well then maybe you'll be the
one to find the cure for it.

(laughter)

- [Mrs. Lorelei Brown] Martin.

Tim.

What do you boys do in
that garage all the time?

(laughter)

- Well you know Mrs. Brown
science has never been

able to find a cure
for the common cold.

- Yes, I know and I
think it's just terrible.

- It is.

It is.

Well Uncle Martin
is on the verge of

inventing the
curable common cold.

- Oh you.

(laughter)

Oh, honestly Martin if you
could just ever be serious

about those inventions of
yours, I know Alvin could

make you both rich.

- Where is your
brother this morning?

- Yes.

Where is the Howard
Hughes of Elm street?

- He went to buy a car.

- A car?

- Where did he get the money?

- From me.

I loaned him $600 because he ...

(car horn)

(whimsical music)

- Oh yoo hoo Alvin.

(car horn)

- [Alvin] Hi.

(laughter)

(car door shutting)

- Oh.

- Holy toledo.

I think we've been
underestimating this boy.

- My goodness Alvin.

I had no idea you could get
such a lovely car for only $600.

- Oh well you can't.

I only rented it for the day.

The rest of the money
went for this little baby.

We're gonna make a fortune, sis.

A fortune.

Hey fellas lend me a
hand over here, will ya?

- Well, what is it?

- Shh.

We have to be careful if
we're industrial spies.

Hey run and open that
door will ya sis?

You wanna help me take
this into the house fellas?

(laughter)

(comical music)

- There it is folks.

Wanamaker's widdle wife saver.

(laughter)

- Wanamaker's widdle what?

- It's a play on words Tim.

It's what we in the business
world call a grabber.

(laughter)

- Oh.

That's a grabber.

(laughter)

- I have a feeling it
will be by the throat.

(laughter)

- You name it.

Wanamaker's wife saver does it.

Sweeps,

vacuums,

washes the dishes,

cleans the drapes,

mows the lawn,

trims the hedges,

everything.

- Really?

Oh, isn't that marvelous?

- Can we have a demonstration?

- Well I'm afraid we're not
quite ready for a demonstration,

Martin.

We still have a few
bugs to iron out.

But that's where you come in.

You and your mechanical genius.

(laughter)

(crashing sound)

(laughter)

- All you gotta do is put
it together and we'll make

a fortune.

(laughter)

- Uncle Martin?

The cure for the common
cold is beginning to sound

like a very practical idea.

(laughter)

(space music)

(beeping)

(space music)

(beeping)

(space music)

(upbeat music)

(spacey music)

(click)

- Nothing short of a miracle
could make this monster work.

(click)

(dramatic music)

- No.

I'm afraid Alvin has purchased
a very large $500 lemon.

- Paid for with
Mrs. Brown's cabby.

- Yeah.

And that's the
disheartening part.

I'm certain he'll want more
money from her to promote it.

And it's completely worthless.

(high pitched sound)

(laughter)

- Hey I have a great idea.

What we do is import a martian

to go with each one
of these gadgets.

- Believe me.

That's the only way you'll
ever get them on the market.

- Hey.

Would you just
tell me one thing?

Where does Alvin come up
with these jokers anyhow?

- Well now Alvin claims he was
just walking down the street

and he got lucky when
he ran into Dr. Dunlap.

- All right.

Why don't we go and see
this Dr. Dunlap and tell him

that it wasn't Alvin's
money in the first place ...

- Ahh, I'm afraid not.

The only way to deal
with men of Dunlap's ilk

is to offer them
payment in kind.

That is to say, in other words,

make them think they're
getting something for nothing.

- Oh.

Well in that case
why don't we ...

- Right this way Mr. Morgan.

Now we are temporarily using
a steam engine to energize

our wife saver.

But my research staff has
been working day and night

on an advanced model
electronic energizer.

Oh there they are now.

My director of
technical research and
his chief assistant.

Our very capable men.

This is Mr. Morgan, gentlemen.

Vice President of York
instrumentation incorporated.

A relatively new, but
very progressive and

forward looking
electronics firm.

- [ Mr. Morgan] How do you do?

- There it is Mr. Morgan.

The wonder of the age.

The housewives
answer to drudgery.

- Oh I am so proud of Alvin.

He's so generous.

Imagine giving both of
you such important jobs

when he isn't even
in business yet.

(laughter)

Oh isn't it thrilling?

- Frankly, no Mrs. Brown.

By all rights it should
be in the junkyard.

(laughter)

- Oh I can't believe it.

- I'm sorry Mrs. Brown.

But that's all it is, junk.

- Oh Alvin.

- Thank you very
much Mr. Morgan.

Now what do we owe
you for your time?

- Oh, nothing at all thank you.

- Well if you insist.

(laughter)

- Good day Mrs. Brown.

Gentlemen.

- Well Lorelei now you know.

It's hard to take, but
better now than later.

- Beautiful.

Just beautiful.

(laughter)

- What's beautiful Alvin?

- That performance.

I bet he even fooled you.

Is Wanamaker's widdle
wife saver worth anything?

- It's a pile of junk.

(laughter)

- See now I know
we have something.

(laughter)

- But Alvin ...

- Don't you see sis?

Morgan tells us it's
a pile of junk, right?

Now in a day or so he
comes around and says Alvin

my company will buy that
from you for 50 bucks.

For scrap.

- Sell.

(laughter)

- This little baby's got the
greatest potential of anything

since the wheel.

It can do anything.

All it needs is a
little fixin' up.

And you're the
one who can do it.

- Weren't you
listening to that man?

- You know I spent half my
life giving people confidence

in their own abilities.

Martin all you need is faith.

Faith and no-how.

(laughter)

- Oh you can do it Martin
I just know you can.

- Well Mrs. Brown knows you can.

Alvin knows you can.

But we don't know you
can do we Uncle Martin?

(laughter)

- Perhaps we don't have
to if we pursue your idea.

- My idea?

What idea was that?

- Well just before
Mr. Morgan arrived

I distinctly heard
you almost say

"why don't we sell the wife
saver back to Dr. Dunlap?"

- You did?

I almost said that?

(laughter)

Well that's a great idea.

I didn't almost say how did I?

(laughter)

- Alvin says all it takes
is faith and no-how.

You supply the faith and
I'll handle the know-how.

(laughter)

(upbeat music)

- This is where Alvin
said he found Dr. Dunlap?

(space music)

- Mind dyed rabbit?

(laughter)

- Mind dyed ... Oh I think
you did find Dr. Dunlap.

Which direction is
that coming from?

(upbeat music)

- [Dr. Dunlap) Psst. Hey Buddy.

I wonder if you gentlemen
could assist me in a dilemma?

- What's your problem?

- Well it's these
confiscatory taxes.

Let me show you something.

Look at that.

- Oh frankly sir we are
after much larger game.

- Yes we're looking
for a Dr. Dunlap.

We understand that he
lives in this area?

- What's he done?

(laughter)

- I'm afraid he allowed
himself to be victimized

by a fast talking swindler.

Poor fellow.

- Poor fellow?

(laughter)

- Oh yeah.

Well wouldn't you say
that a person who allowed

a million dollars to just
slip through his fingers

poor fellow?

- A million dollars?

(laughter)

- I'm afraid you're being
a trifle optimistic TJ.

I don't believe you could
reasonably expect to net

a million in the first year.

- Oh I think you'd come
fairly close to it.

- Well, be that as it may
this gentleman apparently

doesn't know Dr. Dunlap.

Come.

We'll have to look elsewhere.

- Wait.

I'm Dunlap.

Dr. Dunlap.

(laughter)

Here I can prove it.

Dr. Thaddeus Dunlap.

(musical notes)

- Excellent.

There may still be time.

Even Wanamaker
hasn't realized yet

the full potential
of the wife saver.

- Wanamaker?

You can't be talking about
that box of junk I palmed ...

That he bought from me?

(laughter)

- Junk.

He calls it junk.

Ah the despair and
frustration that must overcome

genius after years of
toil and sweat and tears

when his masterpiece
doesn't fully meet

his standards of perfection.

- Yes, yes.

And then to have some
Alvin come lately take that

piece of junk,

mold it and shape it,

and turn it into
something creative.

Turn it into a million dollars.

Oh that's heartbreaking.

(laughter)

It's really heartbreaking.

- Listen.

No little crook's gonna
put anything over on me.

I'm gonna get that thing
back if I have to pull

every dirty trick in the book.

By, by the way,

what's it do?

(laughter)

- I brought you
some lunch Alvin.

And Martin and Tim are
waiting to see you.

I told them I didn't know

whether or not I
should disturb you.

- No, it's okay to
disturb me for them sis

they're part of the firm.

- Oh Alvin you're so democratic.

(laughter)

- Yoo hoo. Martin, Tim.

You can come in now.

Oh you should see
what Alvin's doing.

It's simply amazing.

- Oh, it's more than amazing.

The way he eats is spectacular.

(laughter)

- Oh no, Tim.

He's been working on slogans.

- Yeah.

I've got a few
working ideas here.

I'll just consumer
test these on you.

(laughter)

The wife saver
that's a life saver.

(laughter)

Mother's magic merlin.

(laughter)

Well they're only working ideas.

I just thought I'd run
them up the flagpole.

(laughter)

- Alvin, the fact of the
matter is you'd better

put the flag at half mast.

(laughter)

Your wife saver is dead.

- What?

- Kaput.

Finished.

Nothing on earth
can make it work.

- Or as Mr. Morgan said
it's a pile of junk.

- Now let's not panic.

Now I know you're discouraged.

- No Alvin I've taken it
completely apart and there

isn't a single piece
that's good for anything.

- Oh dear and Alvin
was counting on it so.

- However, I think we
have someone to take
it off our hands.

Dr. Dunlap.

- But why would he
want to buy it back?

- Because he realizes he
made a bad deal, that's why.

Well if he thinks
he can come in here

after we've done
all the ground work.

- Alvin.

It won't work.

Now you have a chance
to sell it, take it.

- You fellows just don't
understand business.

Now look, I'm not in this
just to lose sis's money.

After all we don't
need the write off.

(laughter)

- Yes, but there's
much more to be made

in your other venture.

- Other venture?

- Advertising.

Those slogans.

The wife saver
that's a life saver.

Mother's magic merlin.

(laughter)

Tim what do you
think about this?

- Oh just incredible.

(laughter)

- Well I knew they were
good for the wife saver,

but frankly I never thought
about the bigger picture.

(laughter)

- Exactly.

This gadget is small potatoes.

So if you have a chance to get
out and break even, grab it.

- Oh business is so exciting.

- You bet I will.

(laughter)

- Incidentally, if Dr. Dunlap
offers you a mink stole

instead of cash, don't take it.

(laughter)

- You know Uncle Martin,
you would think with all

the conveniences
of modern science

they'd figure out a way
of getting rid of ashes

without having to
dump them in ...

Well how about that?

Ever since Alvin's arrival,
even the trash can's

had it up to here.

(laughter)

- For the first
and last time Tim,

Wanamaker's widdle wife saver
may serve a useful purpose.

(siren noise)

- After you Tim.

(descencding sound)

(laughter)

(trumpet music)

- Hey look at that.

- Oh Martin.

Oh I knew you could do it.

Oh I'm so thrilled.

- What did I tell you Martin.

All it takes is a
little faith and no-how.

You're a genius.

(laughter)

- Now Alvin, don't be modest.

If it hadn't been for
you he'd have given up.

No you deserve a lot
of the credit too.

(laughter)

- Well we all did our bit,
some of us more than others.

But the important thing is
that the wife saver works.

And just in time too.

- Alvin, what do you
mean just in time?

- Oh I was just gonna
bring it in to Dunlap.

- Do you mean that
Dunlap is in the house?

- Of course.

He came over to buy
back Alvin's wife saver.

- For a measly five
hundred dollars.

(laughter)

Fat chance after seeing that.

- Come on sis.

Let's give the good
doctor the bad news.

(laughs)

- And don't worry
about more capital.

Now I'll be glad to
refinance the house.

(laughter)

- Martin, you goofed.

- Yeah.

You must concede, however,
that when a martian goofs

there's nothing measly about it.

(laughter)

It is invariably
a monumental goof.

(laughter)

(upbeat music)

- But I don't understand this.

I'm giving you a chance
to get your money back.

- Dunlap, I'm not in business
to get my money back.

Anybody can do that.

We're planning on forming our
own company and going into

immediate production.

- Now look Wanamaker.

If you were anybody else
that kind of talk will get

the price up.

But I know you.

- I didn't know you
two were friends.

- Lady I just met him a couple
of days ago, but I know him.

Now look Wanamaker.

My offer's good only for 24
hours, so you'd better grab it.

- A measly 500 I'd be crazy.

I never sold anything
except for a profit.

Why my firm Reckamana
Enterprises Incorporated ...

- Your firm ha ha
that'll be the day.

(laughter)

Remember 24 hours.

Buster.

(dramatic music)

(laughter)

- If Alvin refuses to
sell except for a profit,

it looks as though Wanamaker
enterprises will have to

become a reality.

- Do you mean that you're
actually gonna manufacture those

useless monsters?

- No Tim.

The only thing we're going to
manufacture is an illusion.

And a real tidy return on
Mrs. Brown's investment.

(upbeat music)

- This is Reckamana Enterprises?

- Uh huh.

You'll be amazed what
can be done with a

small investment and a
little faith and no-how.

- Oh yeah?

How much of a small investment?

- Only 50 dollars.

I followed the example of
our beloved chairman of the

board who rents his
cars by the day.

(laughter)

- I hate to tell you,
and I don't want to sound

like a spoil sport.

But 50 bucks is not a small
investment to a newspaper

reporter.

- Don't worry about it Tim.

I expect to recover it
within a very short time.

- Oh yeah.

Now you're beginning to
sound like our beloved

chairman of the board.

(laughter)

(ghostly sounds)

Well what are you gonna
do with all this stuff?

- The only way to impress
a con man is to put up a

bigger front than he does.

(ghostly sounds)

- All right.

What's this?

- Your desk.

- My desk?

Uncle Martin you couldn't
interest termites

in a desk like this.

(laughter)

- You're right.

The President of a
prosperous electronics firm

should have an
expensive looking desk.

A little revitalizing
of its molecules.

(blowing)

(ghostly sounds)

(flash)

(laughter)

- Well that's more like it.

However it doesn't
exactly fill up the room.

- That's precisely
why I brought along

my duplicating machine.

(laughter)

(ghostly sounds)

- I'll say one thing.

It's a lot quicker
than trading stamps.

(laughter)

- I think it's quite impressive.

And now that we have
built a better mousetrap,

let us get in touch
with the mouse.

(laughter)

- But Uncle Martin, don't
you think that Dunlap is

going to get just a little
bit suspicious when he

finds out that his
buyers are his sellers?

- On Mars we have
an old saying Tim.

What a Dunlap doesn't know,
can't make him suspicious.

(ghostly sounds)

(laughter)

(comical music)

- Hey, that's pretty tricky.

But is it the real me?

- Well in the words of one
of your famous entertainers,

you ain't seen nothin' yet.

(ghostly sound)

(laughter)

(knocking)

- You think that's him?

- I imagine that's the fly.

And Tim, stop being
such a nervous spider.

(laughter)

Come in.

(comedic music)

Yes.

- Is this Reckamena Enterprises?

- If one is to believe
the sign on the door.

- It can't be the one that
that fella Alvin Wanamaker's

connected with?

- That fellow you refer to
happens to be the chairman

of the board.

We're extremely busy.

Now do you have business
here or did you just drop

in to ask foolish questions?

(laughter)

- No.

My card.

(laughter)

- Dr. Thaddeus Dunlap.

So.

- I've been negotiating with
Mr. Wanamaker about taking

this gadget off his hands.

And I've come back to
resume my negotiations.

- Mr. Wanamaker is
not here just now.

You'll have to take this
up with our President.

Mr. Costairs.

No, no, no, no, no.

Ha ha ha you stay
right there sir.

(laughter)

(mumbling)

Sir.

Mr. Costairs this
gentlemen is interested in

(clears throat)

to use his words taking
this gadget off our hands.

- Really.

Well there's seems to
be really a rash of that

sort of thing lately.

Hm.

Why only yesterday,
some crackpot,

no offense,

but some crackpot
offered Mr. Wanamaker

five hundred dollars.

(laughter)

- It gave us a good
laugh around here.

- Oh yes.

And no mention of royalties.

Why any idiot knows, that the
money to be made in business

is in the royalties.

(laugh)

- Oh may I inquire

(mumbles)

Dr. Dunlap whom
do you represent?

- Well as a matter
of fact at the moment

I only represent myself.

However, I have been
approached by two members of

a very large firm who
would take care of the

financial details.

- That wouldn't be Vioray
products incorporated?

- I'm not at Liberty to say.

(laughter)

- If Vioray is interested ...

- Yes, I know, I know, I know.

Oh yes, yes.

Wouldn't want to run
into them again, no.

Last time we almost
lost our shirts.

(clears throat)

- Without betraying a
confidence of course,

could you tell us if one
of the representatives

was of a slight build,

smooth shaven and with red hair?

- Yes and the other one
strikingly handsome?

(laughter)

- No.

I'm sorry gentlemen
but my word is my bond.

However, if you wish to
battle this out in the

march of trade,

I should be only too
happy to take word back

to my associates at Via ...

(laughter)

my associates.

Period.

(laughter)

Good day.

(laughter)

- Just one moment.

We might, might be interested
in hearing your offer.

- I thought you would.

Of course, before I
make any commitment

I've got to see your
product in actual operation.

- Of course.

Of course.

(laughter)

Now Mr. Munn would you please
demonstrate the widdle wife

saver, the wife saver.

(clears throat)

- Certainly.

(upbeat music)

(ghostly sounds)

(laughter)

(ghostly sounds)

(upbeat racing music)

- I'm Wanamaker.

Does either Mr. O'Hara
happen to be in?

- Alvin, it's me, Tim.

- Tim.

Then that's ...

- Uncle Martin, yes.

- How about that.

Hey what's with the disguises?

- Cool it would you Alvin?

Just don't ask any questions.

- Okay.

Boy you fellows sure have
done a magnificent job here.

This is just the kind of
office I always thought

I belonged in.

- But it's not really here.

Well I mean it's here all
right, but it's, it's, it's

it's an illusion.

It's a mirage.

Well it's all a phony front
with nothing behind it.

- Well it's a good thing I
came along, because what I

brought with me is no mirage.

(laughter)

Gentlemen, we have
another bidder.

Dr. Dunlap.

Meet Mr. Morgan from
York Instrumentation.

- Nah I don't think Mr. Morgan
would really be interested.

- Why not.

- Oh, I definitely agree.

Yes Dr. Dunlap should be
the one we'd stick ...

Sell it to.

(laughter)

- Yes.

We have a prior
obligation to the doctor.

- Prior obligation, Mr
Morgan saw it first.

- Wanamaker, I must
admit I was mistaken.

I don't know how you've done it,

but this thing works now and
I want it for my company.

- Alvin baby, I got two
customers who will take delivery

on it this afternoon.

I'll give you six hundred
dollars cash and five percent.

- Seven hundred dollars
and ten percent.

- That's what I like.

Competition the
backbone of business.

- A thousand dollars cash and
twelve and a half percent.

Take it or leave it.

- We'll take it.

(laughter)

- Not so fast.

I'll pay you eleven hundred
dollars and fifteen percent.

- But a thousand dollars
is all I got with me.

Give me an hour and
I'll go higher and ...

(laughter)

twenty percent.

(laughter)

- What do we do Uncle Martin,
we can't cheat Mr. Morgan?

- Don't worry Tim.

Just insist on cash.

(ghostly sounds)

(laughter)

- It's all yours Mr. Morgan.

Just as soon as you give
Mr. Costairs your check.

Sorry Dunlap.

- Good.

Well that's funny.

I don't seem to have
my checkbook with me.

(laugh)

I'll mail it to you.

- Oh, I am sorry.

But I must insist
on cash on the spot.

- I think we've had just about
enough of these shenanigans.

I bet a thousand
dollars and I'm ready

to back it up with cash.

(dramatic riff)

- And the twenty percent?

- Cash.

(laughter)

- Well I'm sorry Mr. Morgan
but I'll tell you what.

On my very next deal I'll let
you in on the ground floor.

(laughter)

- Say, how about seven hundred
and fifty cash and I got a

marvelous mink
stole I'll throw in.

(laughter)

- Cash.

(upbeat music)

- Six hundred to sis for
her original investment.

And fifty dollars to you
for rent for the loft.

And say what about the rent
for all those furnishings.

- Oh, no charge.

It was a gift.

(laughter)

- Yeah, it was a gift all right.

- All right.

Well then we have three hundred
and fifty dollars profit.

To be divided among the four
partners with more to come.

- Not Tim and I.

We weren't really partners.

- Well Uncle Martin I did ...

(laugh)

I was just joking.

(laughter)

Well Alvin you and Mrs.
Brown you split the profits.

Uncle Martin and I
got kicks out of this.

- Oh okay.

But you know one of the great
joys of these deals of mine

is dividing up the profits
among my partners and friends.

- Oh I just love it when
your deals make money.

I remember the time when ...

well ...

Then there was the
one that uh ...

(laughter)

Well this one made money.

Thanks to my little brother.

- Oh that's peanuts, sis.

Wait till those royalties
start rolling in.

- Alvin, there won't
be any royalties.

Tim and I were also Vioray
Products Incorporated.

- You mean you weren't ...

You mean there isn't ...

You mean we gave away a fortune

for a lousy thousand dollars?

(laughter)

- Alvin the wife saver
doesn't really work.

- What do you mean
it doesn't work?

I saw it work.

Sis, give me back
that six hundred.

Maybe we can still buy this
thing back from Dunlap.

- Alvin, can't you understand?

- I better take this too.

(laughter)

Come on, sis.

We're gonna have to raise
a lot more than this.

(upbeat music)

- Wow.

(laughter)

- We should have kept the
wife saver and sold Alvin.

(laughter)

(upbeat music