All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S03E12.Avenue.C.Mob.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb_Subtítulos01.ENG

(thoughtful music)

(fluids bubbling)

- Hi Uncle Martin, I'm home.

Well will you just
look at this mess!

- [Martin] Sorry Tim,

I'll have things ship
shape in a minute.

(audience laughing)

- Oy.

Well, my insurance doesn't
cover hit and run blackboards.

(audience laughing)

(suspenseful music)

Uncle Martin?

- In the flesh, Tim.

- Oh no!

What happened?

(beeping)

(beeping)

(cheerful music)

(cheerful music)

(crickets chirping)

But, but how did it happen?

And don't tell me it's
because you worried a lot!

- Worry may age humans,

but it doesn't do a
thing to Martians!

I have actually aged
400 Martian years.

However, it's only temporary.

- 400 years?

Is only temporary?

- I'll gradually
return to my old,

I mean young self
within 48 hours.

You know, I have been making
a study of old age on Earth,

where the aging process is
much faster than it is on Mars.

- Oh you can say that again.

But to really understand the
problems of old age, Tim,

one must experience them.

Come here, Tim.

On Mars, we have a
process for aging cheese.

Now I distilled
some of the essence,

took it undiluted,
and it aged me.

- Aged you?

- Of course, there could
be some side effects.

- Yeah.

Like rigor mortis.

- Stop worrying Tim, I'm fine.

- Yeah, but I still
don't understand!

Now you look like an
old man, but your mind,

well it's as sharp
as it ever was.

- A Martian's mind is alert,
no matter how old he gets.

My great-grandfather passed
away at the age of 2000.

And we didn't know
it, because his brain

kept right on working
for another 100 years!

(audience laughing)

You can drop me off if you like.

- Drop you off where,
well where're we going?

- Well we're going over to the
warehouse store on Avenue C,

I've taken a job
as night watchman.

- What do you need a job for?

- So I can be independent.

The first thing I've
learned since I've aged Tim,

is that older people don't want

to be a burden to
their families.

And you're my family, Tim.

The only family I
have on this planet.

- You're a grand old
man, Uncle Martin.

(audience laughing)

(light piano music playing)

- [Radio Announcer] We interrupt

this program for a news flash.

The latest in a series
of daring robberies

has just been executed.

The famed Raja Sapphire
disappeared tonight

from the Alsworth Museum.

We will bring you further
developments as they occur.

(mechanical whirring)

(crashing)

(dramatic music)

- Yoohoo!

Anybody there?

(audience laughing)

- Well ladies, I too am sorry

to meet under such
unusual circumstances,

but there's a law against
breaking and entering.

- We only want to pick up a
little something, Mr Ohara.

- There's a law
against that too.

(audience laughing)

- These are our things!

- Well then why didn't you
come in through the front door?

- Well you see, the storage
room is under Mr Filbert's name.

- He manages our
estate, you know.

- And this is it.

When father died there
wasn't much money left.

But there were all
these lovely heirlooms.

And they belong to us!

- Only now, we feel so
useless with nothing to do.

So we decided to
go into business.

- Blowing up warehouses?

- Oh no!

We found just the perfect
little spot for a tea room,

but we need the money for
the lease and everything.

- Well.

Some of these things
look quite valuable.

Why don't you ask Mr
Filbert to sell some of them

and give you the money?

- Well we did!

- He was terribly nice.

But he said it was and
unwise investment at our age.

- Well perhaps Mr Filbert feels

that you are not capable
of running a business?

- It can't be any harder
than blowing out a wall!

Matilda whipped up
her own recipe, too!

Didn't you dear?

- One teaspoon of glycerin,

a half a cup of TNT,

and a quarter stick of dynamite.

- It works just fine!

See all we really want to
do is to take one thing

so we can sell it and use the
money to go into business.

- I'm afraid I can't
allow that, ladies.

(telephone ringing)

Excuse me.

Watchman here.

Yes sir.

Oh, Mr Filbert, oh!

Oh yes sir.

The management informed me
that you would be dropping by.

I'll release the door, and
you can come right up, sir.

(buzzing)

Ah, ah, ah, ah hold it ladies!

- But Mr Filbert
mustn't find us here!

- He warned us
that elderly people

who get into trouble can
be ruled incompetent!

- And put away!

Oh, please let us go, Mr Ohara!

- Well, you won't bump
into him if you leave now.

Over there.

And face the wall.

(audience laughing)

(audience laughing)

(knocking)

Right away Mr Filbert!

- Ohara?

- Yes sir, yes siree.

Martin Ohara, that's me.

- Good evening Ohara.

I shall be calling from
time to time in the evening.

I'm otherwise engaged
during the day.

- Yes sir, yes sir anything
you say sir, yes sir.

- Very good, very good.

So I can see we shall
get along splendidly.

And now, if you'll excuse me.

(thoughtful music)

Beautiful.

Indubitably, one of
Tralini's better pieces.

And a fitting receptacle
of the Raja Sapphire.

- Are you finished?

- Yes, thank you.

Good night, Ohara.

(audience laughing)

- You can turn
around now, ladies.

- We can't thank you
enough, Mr Ohara!

If there's anything we can do.

- There is.

You can give up
your life of crime.

And let someone help you
who's equipped to do so.

- But we haven't anyone!

- It so happens,
I'm rather close

to a very remarkable person.

He can be most persuasive.

Unfortunately, he's not
quite himself at the moment.

- The poor dear is ill?

Perhaps you can make him some
of your lovely chicken soup.

- Nevertheless, I promise
you he'll see your Mr Filbert

and talk up a storm!

- But suppose Mr
Filbert still says no!

- We'll cross that bridge
when we come to it.

Now, come along ladies.

I'm late for my rounds.

Come on.

Come on.

(mischievous music)

(audience laughing)

- Just in case the
chicken soup doesn't work.

(audience laughing)

(bright music)

- Ah, here's Mr
Filbert's office.

- Well what do
you want me to do?

- Well I thought that
if we both talk to him,

we might be able to persuade him

that the Harvey sisters
would be better off

if they were doing
something useful!

- Oh I don't know, I think
busting into warehouses

is sort of a nice pastime!

Keeps em out of the pool hall.

(audience laughing)

(thoughtful music)

Something the matter?

- I don't know yet.

I'm getting vibrations.

(creaking)

- [Tim] What is that?

- It's me.

When you get to
be 850 years old,

you tend to creak a little.

(audience laughing)

- [Filbert] Eight, nine, 5000.

- Sheez, ain't you gonna gimme

no more than that, Mr Filbert?

- Benny you are without a
doubt the worst cut throat

it has ever been my
misfortune to meet.

- Me?

I ain't never done nothing
like that, Mr Filbert,

I'm strictly a high
class jewel thief!

- I was referring to
your merciless slaughter

of your mother tongue.

- Okay, if you say
so, Mr Filbert.

But it's like this, I seen
in the paper where they--

- Benny, you saw in the paper.

- Yeah, I seen it in the paper!

Where this here I kiked for
ya is worth maybe 100 grand!

Look, I know where we can fence
the rock for 50 G's, easy.

- As I have explained
to you before Benny,

I am not interested in
fencing the various items you,

acquire for me.

I prefer to keep them for
my own personal enjoyment.

- Mr Filbert, you're some
kind of a nut, you know that?

I mean you're some
kind of a nut!

- I prefer not to discuss

my personal idiosyncrasies
with you, of all people.

- I didn't mean
nothin', Mr Filbert.

I just got a big mouth.

(audience laughing)

- I see you admire
the Tolomy Dagger.

So called because it was
used in the assassination

of Tolomy the Lesser.

He was stabbed with
it, in the trachea.

Thereby rendering
him unable to talk,

and causing him
to expire slowly,

and in excruciating pain.

- Geez.

I bet that hurt.

(audience laughing)

- He's some kind of a nut!

(audience laughing)

(purposeful music)

- Boy if that's the
case Uncle Martin,

we're onto something really...

- Ladies.

You promised you'd stop
breaking and entering!

- Oh just this once Mr Ohara.

It was important!

- That must be the young
man who's going to help us.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, oh yes, yes, yes.

Tim, these are the ladies
that I told you about.

- I do hope you're
feeling better.

I brought you some chicken soup!

- Thank you.

I think.

- What was so important
that you had to come here?

- We're terribly embarrassed.

- Especially after you were
so kind to us last night.

Go ahead, dear.

- Well, after hearing the
news report on the radio,

it seems we have acquired a,

what did you call it, dear?

- A hot rock?

(audience laughing)

(thoughtful music)

- Excuse us, ladies.

I have a plan.

- Well, I hope it's
not a 20 year one.

You know that's what we can get?

For being caught
with that thing?

- Don't worry, I...

- Well what'd you do that for?

- I didn't.

I'm afraid this is one of the
side effect I mentioned, Tim.

I'm slightly magnetized.

- Swell.

Dermination is one thing,

but that kind of
stick-to-it-ivness,

we don't need right now!

- We'll just have to chance it.

Now listen, we phone
Mr Filbert tonight

and tell him we're fronting
for the Avenue C Mob.

- The Avenue C Mob?

- That's us.

We'll tell him we'll put
the snatch on the sapphire,

but it's too hot to handle.

We'll ransom it back
to him for $10,000.

- Well you think
he'll fall for it?

- Of course!

He'll go to any
lengths to recover it.

He has what amounts to
a psychotic fixation

for precious gems of
historical interest.

- Hey Uncle Martin,
have you been

doing a little moonlighting
as a psychiatrist?

(audience laughing)

- The first thing he'll
do, is go to the warehouse

to make sure the
sapphire is gone.

And that's where we
nab him, red-handed.

- Well how are we gonna
nab him red-handed,

when we have the Raja Sapphire?

- Simple, we give
it back to him.

- Oh! (chuckles)

(audience laughing)

(playful music)

- Right on schedule.

- Mr Ohara, Matilda
and I talked it over,

and we don't think you
should come any further

into this caper.

It's much too dangerous!

- What?

What am I, a cream puff?

- Of course not!

It's just that, if we get
caught, we are rather old.

- And if they give
us life in prison,

it won't matter much!

- But you're young, you have
your whole life ahead of you!

We don't wanna spoil it.

- Well I appreciate
your concern, but.

Well I can't let you senior
citizens take all the risk.

(door closes)

(suspenseful music)

- Someone's coming!

- Alright, now you
ladies wait here.

I'll go see if
that's Uncle Martin.

- Don't be frightened.

- Uncle Martin, is that you?

- Yes.

Everything's all set!

Filbert's in the storage
room, checking the cabinet.

- Hey, hey, just a minute!

- Great gallopin' gallitus, Tim!

This is no way to treat a
man of my advanced years!

- That's the point!

You've stopped advancing,
you're retreating!

You're getting younger, see?

(audience laughing)

(purposeful music)

- Tim.

It wasn't supposed to
happen for another 12 hours.

What went wrong?

- I don't know, maybe you
ate the wrong kind of cheese.

- I can't stop to
worry about it now.

And I certainly can't
let Tessie and Matilda

see me like this!

- That's a coincidence,
that's what I was gonna say!

- Tim.

You're going to have
to carry the ball.

- Oh yeah?

- It's a $100,000
ball, so be careful.

- Yeah, well, you too.

We just remember one thing,

you have to intercept
the pass to Filbert.

So don't drop the ball, because
we could lose the ball game.

50 years to nothing.

(audience laughing)

- Come with me.

Here's where I want you
to bring the ladies.

Tell them that they're
to be lookouts.

That'll keep them out of harm,
but still feeling useful.

- That's good thinking.

- The minute you hand
Filbert the sapphire,

I'll take over, wrap him
up in a nice, neat bundle.

Then you and the ladies
turn him over to the police.

- Check.

- [Martin] I'll be right
behind, every step of the way,

so don't worry.

(audience laughing)

- I'll be fearless!

(purposeful music)

Hmm, I'm still magnetized.

(audience laughing)

Alright, if you insist.

Come on, but just
don't get in the way.

(audience laughing)

- But I don't understand, Tim?

- Where is Mr Ohara?

- Well you see what we
intend to do ladies,

is to surround him.

Now the plan is, for
you two to wait in here,

as reinforcements.

Come on ladies, Filbert's
not gonna wait forever!

Come on!

- Alright.
(shushing)

(thoughtful music)

- Alright Uncle Martin.

Let's go get em.

- Do you know what
I think, Matilda?

- You think the same thing I do.

- That we're being
left out of it.

- I think so, too.

I also think--

- We're not going
to stand for it!

(audience laughing)

There's someone out there.

- Maybe it's the elder Mr Ohara?

- Oh no, no, it's
a much younger man!

(audience laughing)

It must be one of Mr
Filbert's accomplices!

- And poor Tim is out
there alone with them!

That makes two against one!

- Let's do something Matilda!

(purposeful music)

Thank you.

(audience laughing)

- How did you do that?

- I don't know!

Maybe it ricocheted?

(audience laughing)

- Let's see what else
we can do to help!

- Look Jim, that pea shooter
isn't gonna do you any good!

I'm fearless!

I've got protection.

- If you don't mind,
I'll hold onto it.

I get a terrible feeling
of inadequacy without it.

- Well, suit yourself.

- And now, the Raja
Sapphire, if you please.

- I am warning you, Filbert.

You'll be sorry.

- Don't do that, don't do that!

That's a priceless
gem, not a toy!

- Okay, catch!

(audience laughing)

- Behold its pure,
pristine beauty.

Enjoy it a moment, my friend.

Yours and mine are the last eyes

that will see it
in this lifetime.

- Oh, I wouldn't count on that!

Okay Uncle Martin,
he's all yours.

(chuckles)

Uncle Martin, come one.

Uncle Martin?

(audience laughing)

- What are you doing?

- I think a fearless man,

has just come a devout coward.

(audience laughing)

(door closes)

(laughs) I just
became fearless again.

I would like you
to meet the brains

behind the Avenue C Mob.

(audience laughing)

(thoughtful music)

- Where were you
when I needed you?

(audience laughing)

Here's one trick I'll
bet you can't do.

(audience laughing)

- [Tim] You don't
really wanna do this.

This is inhuman!

- On the contrary,
my dear friend.

I can't stand the sight of
blood when I shoot someone.

Now, closed please.

Thank you.

Now get inside!

Put your hands up!

In case you're not familiar
with the history of warfare,

it was bullets that made
those tin suits obsolete.

(bell rings)

(audience laughing)

- Uncle Martin?

- No, no Tim.

I'm over here.

(audience laughing)

- Who's your friend?

- A nosy knight, and nevermind.

As soon as I'm gone, you
can release the ladies,

and I'll meet you
back at the apartment.

- Oh, well what'll
I tell the police?

- Just what we planned,
(sirens wailing)

the ladies came to you for help,

you suspected Filbert was
a crook, you had no proof.

But being an intrepid
newspaper man,

you laid a trap
and he fell in it.

- Ah but, they'll
call about ya Martin.

After all, you're, well
you're a hero to them.

- I suppose I am, rather.

Well, you just tell them
that like all heroes Tim,

I prefer anonymity,
they'll accept that.

(knocking)

Ooh, the minions of
the law are prompt!

(suspenseful music)

Okay, come on if you're coming.

(audience laughing)

- My uncle, the knight.

(energetic music)

Say, did you know
there was a $500 reward

for Benny's capture, too?

- Well I don't imagine
Tessie and Matilda

will have to sell any
of their heirlooms now

to open the tea shop.

- Not with the
reward money they got

for recovering the jewels.

They want me to share
in it, but I said,

this was enough for me,
I didn't need any money.

Sometimes I'm an awful liar.

- Be of good cheer, my boy.

At least I got my
research finished,

and my conclusions drawn.

- Like what?

- That old age Tim,
is a state of mind.

Martian or human, we
stay young as long as

we continue to
contribute to life.

It's not sad to acquire
years and grow old, Tim.

It's only sad if the
years aren't used.

(cheerful music)