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ABIGAIL: There's been a murder.
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[dramatic music]
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[bell dings]
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- Abigail, you know I can't just let you
barge into a crime scene.
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- Gilbert, you know it's always helpful
to have an extra set of eyes.
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- Well, you do have a nice set.
[laughs]
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[clears throat]
Of eyes.
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I--wh--
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what I mean is,
you're a very observant woman.
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00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:24,525
I mean, you always notice
when I lose an adult tooth.
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- Let me take just a swift peek
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00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:29,947
and maybe I'll find something peculiar.
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[gasps]
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♪ ♪
15
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Murder by ham!
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- Chief of police here!
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Oh.
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You didn't tell me
that Herlock Holmes was here.
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- Chief of Police Bills.
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- Mm.
How'd she get in here?
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- Through the front door?
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- Not today, Gilbert.
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No, not today, man.
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You're about as sharp
as a baked potato, man.
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I know you got a theory.
What happened here?
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- Well, after solving 116 of your murders,
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you'd think that I'd get a "Come on in."
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- 116?
Christ.
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- It's our job as police officers,
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Gilbert and I, to solve crimes.
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It's your job as a writer
to write your little stories
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for lonely gals laying around
eating chocolate.
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The little round bonbons.
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What are they called?
The round bonbons.
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You--and you got the little cherry inside.
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- What, the maraschino cherry?
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- Yeah, you bite it, and it's like
the bonbon threw up in your mouth.
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- Chief, my niece and I were here
before the murder,
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and we overheard some tidbits
you may want to hear about.
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- You are itching, about to burst,
with the information.
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Please.
Huh?
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I'd love to partake in that.
How about you, Gilbert?
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- Yeah.
- Give it to us.
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- It appears he was killed with ham--
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- Ham!
He was killed with ham.
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- Approximately 15 minutes--
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- 15 minutes ago!
15 minutes ago.
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I was gonna say 15 minutes.
You saw me, right?
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But the spit got caught in my throat.
50
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You didn't even pat my back
to see if I was choking or not.
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- There is definitely foul play--
- Foul play going on here!
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There's so much foul play in this room,
I can smell it.
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Matter of fact,
we gotta vent this room out
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'cause some more foul play might happen.
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- And if I was looking for a suspect,
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I would check out the competing butcher.
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He seems a little interested
in what we're talking about.
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- Hey, you're being pretty nosy right now
for someone who's not guilty!
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Puence, go get him!
Get him!
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Get him!
Get him!
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God damn it!
Pull it, don't push it!
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It's not a revolving door!
63
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- Wow, Aunt Abigail,
you're on a writing roll.
64
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How's the novel coming along?
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- Well, I haven't started it yet,
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but I'm writing a diary entry
about the nature of procrastination...
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- Ha.
- And very shortly,
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I'm getting ready to almost start.
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[keys clacking]
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- I can't believe on my first day here,
someone got murdered.
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It's pretty cool.
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- I mean, that's a normal afternoon
in New Woodstream, dear.
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[laughs]
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But something isn't sitting quite right
with me.
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♪ ♪
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[grunts]
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Ah, there's where that went!
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Well, now that I can think more clearly,
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I don't think Andy Hapsburg
is our murderer.
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He wouldn't hurt a fly!
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- Well, he's a butcher.
82
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I've got an idea.
83
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We should talk to the son.
84
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Bet he knows all his dad's enemies.
85
00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:08,564
- Now, Heidi, we must allow the police
86
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to have enough time to do their jobs.
87
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And that's enough time.
Let's go.
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- Yes.
89
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- It was supposed to be our grand opening,
90
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but it feels more like a bland opening.
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I wanted to make him proud,
and then he died.
92
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- I'm so sorry.
- Thanks.
93
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I'm still gonna open today.
94
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Dad would've wanted Canelli and Son
to go on.
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I owe him that.
96
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The way he hated me was the way
a father was supposed to hate his son.
97
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- Ben Jr., I know this is a terrible time
to ask, but--
98
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- Who wanted to kill your dad?
99
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- Easy, Heidi.
[laughs]
100
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His father just got murdered.
101
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- Sorry.
I had a generic Red Bull.
102
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- That's all right.
I'm riding on Adderall.
103
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- What my niece meant to say was,
104
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who do you think would want
to murder your father?
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- I have no idea who'd wanna ham my dad.
106
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If I were you guys though,
I'd talk to my mom.
107
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,659
She's--
- An asshole, we know.
108
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,536
- I was gonna say she's at home.
109
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,123
- My apologies.
I misspoke.
110
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- Well, thanks so much for the tip.
111
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,669
Um...
112
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[solemn music]
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Group shot.
114
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♪ ♪
115
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,475
BILLS: Come on, Puence.
Puence, come in.
116
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- Puence here.
117
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:30,562
BILLS: I'm gonna come over there
and sit next to you.
118
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:33,065
- Roger.
119
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:36,068
- [sighs]
120
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,278
What do we do here, Andy?
121
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,738
Oh, wow.
122
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People saw you yelling at Canelli
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00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:43,617
before he was hammed.
124
00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:46,078
- Billy, come on.
You know I'm a yeller.
125
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,455
[yelling]
It's how I deal with stress!
126
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:50,207
You know I would never hurt anyone.
127
00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:51,792
[yelling]
Except with my voice!
128
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:54,294
- You made me run today
129
00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:56,296
in my standing slacks.
130
00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,173
Oh, that makes me mad.
131
00:04:58,215 --> 00:04:59,258
You know why?
132
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,593
'Cause my insurance
does not cover chafing.
133
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:02,594
- I'm sorry.
134
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,346
I just got really nervous
135
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:06,098
when everyone turned around
and looked at me
136
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,184
and Mrs. Mapleworth fingered me.
137
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:12,229
- The bottom line of this, Andy--
you're going to jail for murder.
138
00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,189
[yelling]
If you don't tell us
139
00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:17,734
where the hell you were at 11:40!
140
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,862
- I got the perfect alibi.
141
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,906
[yelling]
And the yelling thing is mine!
142
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You came into my shop at 11:40.
143
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:29,997
- You know what?
I was at your shop at 11:40.
144
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:32,082
- Yes.
145
00:05:32,124 --> 00:05:35,085
- Yeah, I came in here...
146
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:36,837
I had a taste for bacon.
I wanted some bacon.
147
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:37,838
- Right, remember?
148
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,340
You said you wanted to make some BLTs
for lunch.
149
00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:42,551
- Bacon, lettuce, and tomato.
- BLT.
150
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,303
- I wanted to put it on wheat bread.
- Mm-hmm.
151
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,013
- With a toothpick stuck in it like that.
152
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,599
- And then you got a phone call
and you said, "Ope, I gotta go.
153
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,893
Someone's been murdered."
- Yep, that's what happened.
154
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:52,352
- So am I free to go?
155
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:54,354
- Yeah.
156
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:56,565
Hey, hey, hey, hey, one more thing.
157
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:58,609
[dramatic music]
158
00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:01,195
Now...
159
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:04,156
did I happen to leave that bacon
on that counter?
160
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,616
That I purchased?
161
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:08,911
'Cause if I did, I wanna talk to you
about getting a meat credit.
162
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:11,413
♪ ♪
163
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- [whispering]
I don't think so.
164
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:16,376
[sleuthing music]
165
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,544
- Must not be home.
166
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:18,587
[gunshot]
167
00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:19,838
Was that a gunshot?
168
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,006
ABIGAIL: Something's amiss.
169
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,841
My Maple sense is tingling,
170
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,344
and not the sexy part.
171
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,553
Heidi, you wait here.
172
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:27,596
- No.
173
00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:32,184
♪ ♪
174
00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:33,977
- Now, when you're probing someone,
175
00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,813
you have to go for the sweets
before you get the deets.
176
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,774
[gun cocks]
- Watch out, Aunt Abigail!
177
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,442
[dramatic musical flourish]
[gunshot]
12789
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