Original subtitles

Since her night with Danny Two Phones,

Darby had remained uncaracteristically casual.

Isn't it crazy that we heard him come?

Yeah, it was like he was whimpering like a pigeon.

Hoping that a series of fleeting connections

could free her from the burden of wanting something more.

You know, that guy's been here a lot. She should give him like, a punch card.

- Morning. - Morning. Can we get in on that?

But then came Magnus Lund: a young chef who always jumped in with both feet.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Here at last was a person with whom Darby didn't have to play games,

for he was every bit the zero to 60 freak that she was.

FOUR MAGNUS LUND

A FEW MONTHS AFTER DANNY TWO PHONES

Like Darby, Magnus had moved to New York City to reinvent himself.

He went to art school, acting school and culinary school,

committed to maximizing his potential.

It excited Darby to think of her and Magnus

as the next New York City power couple.

Order up!

- Oh my God! - How beautiful is this?

Darby, your relationship is making my pants tight.

Magnus hooks us up, it doesn't mean you have to order everything on the menu.

He's got a great beard, I'll tell you that much. It's a whole lot of man.

Aw baby, do you wanna grow out that little peach fuzz?

Fuck it, I'm just gonna break my no pork rule for this.

Since when do you not eat pork?

Since I saw this video of a pig named Mudslinger,

who could dribble a soccer ball through three cones,

score a goal and then he takes a bow.

Have you tried the honeycomb? Magnus grows it in his urban beehive.

Technically he's a sous-chef but he created the menu.

- She is smitten. - Shut up. Shut up.

She's a smitten kit...

20 more minutes and I'm done.

- Do you want any help? - No thank you.

Oh good, it's a one am email from Naomi. I wonder how drunk she is.

It's so weird,

every time I talk to her, I can't tell if she's kidding or if she's serious.

And it's like she hates me but she wants me to be her assistant forever.

There's an open position in Antiquities

and I asked her to put in a good word and I don't think she did.

No, of course she didn't. Why would she do that? Because if you leave,

the whole maritime paintings department would fucking crumble.

And then everybody in the whole auction house would know

how much of a psycho she is.

She makes you bring her a plate of French fries every morning, not normal.

- It's not normal. - Yeah, fuck Naomi.

Okay. I'm gonna go in there tomorrow morning

and I'm gonna tell her that first thing.

You won't though, because you're too good and you're too nice.

You can't let people take advantage of you, Darb.

Okay, I got it.

- Fuck Naomi. - Fuck Naomi.

My place or yours?

I have work in the morning and I don't have any clean underwear at your place.

Okay, argument for my place,

I don't have any roommates and we can fuck in every room.

Okay, fine. Let's go.

Thank you, I'm fucking starving.

Is there anything else I can get you?

No, but there is some shit on your desk.

Oh my god, oh.

Darby, this is way too much Sriracha.

Fuck Naomi. Love, M

- Wait, how much was it again? - 1.2.

- For a painting of a boat? - I know.

Not even like a remarkable boat, just a run of the mill frigate.

Where do you guys have an oven mitt?

Oven mitts, yeah, I know we have one somewhere, I know we do.

- Oh! Fuck! - Baby!

- Fuck. - Shit.

Hey, hey. Hey, let me see.

It's fine, it's fine. It's not a big deal, it's fine.

- Just let me run it under water. - It's just fucking hot in here.

There's a fucking radiator on, it's the fall, right?

Yeah.

I'm sorry, that was at... yeah, I just had a shit day at work.

Chip didn't like my tasting menu

and I know that he's a philistine so who cares?

- Yeah, so fuck Chip. - I know, I was just like, proud of it.

Yeah.

We should get out of town for the weekend.

Don't you have to work?

I mean, I'm not feeling very good, I feel like I could call in sick...

like maybe my mental health isn't okay.

- Oh really? - And like, I need you to cure me.

Whatever you need.

So if you look to your right.

Those are actually trees.

- Oh my god, you're so smart. - I know.

I'm kinda grossed out, 'cause everything's so cute.

I guess like, the Stepford Wife level. Like everything's too perfect.

I'm so sorry. I think like, just pay her the money, it looks really cool.

We're playing a game, it's rude if you don't haggle.

- That's not true, that's not true. - Okay, 13.

Babe, just give the $20.

You're gonna put it somewhere you're gonna be really proud of it.

You're lucky I brought her.

So truffles aren't normally growing in this area.

However, I read on the forager Reddit that they found some,

so let me show you what you do.

When you find a root then, just lightly dust around the root.

Okay, so it's like panning for gold but way grosser?

Exactly.

Oh my god.

- Oh my god. Did I find one? - Wow, yeah, I mean. You found a turd.

Oh my god, is that actually a turd?

Suddenly Darby's life was like a painting.

A series of moments frozen in time

as if she was watching herself from the outside.

Oh my god, it's like I forgot how good clean air smells.

This is my dream.

To live up here, to buy a piece of land,

open up a farm to table situation.

A house, we're getting a garden,

we're getting a pasture, with cows, pigs, chickens,

I wanna barn, in case the kids wanna learn how to ride horses.

- The kids? - Yeah.

I was thinking like, five or six.

- You think about that stuff? - Don't you?

Yes.

But not six like, two.

Five.

Three, maximum. We have to be able to fit in a car.

Four.

We'll buy a minivan.

- We're gonna stick together, right? - Yes.

- My dreams are your dreams? - Yes.

- Your dreams are my dreams. - Yes.

How do I have 31 emails in 48 hours? On a weekend?

All right, big shot, why don't we hold off on emails till we're in the city?

Yeah, I just wanna make sure that they know that I'm like, a 100% reliable.

Doesn't come back to bite me.

Hey.

You're not on the clock. It's still our time.

I don't want this weekend to end. I don't wanna go back,

I don't wanna go back to fucking Naomi and her stupid radiators

and going back and forth between apartments.

What if we didn't have to go back? Like, what if we lived here?

What?

I looked at Zillow and it's 100,000 dollars to buy land here.

- We could save that, no problem. - You're serious?

It's only a 90-minute commute.

Okay, well, hypothetically, yes I could get work done here,

I could have my own office up here.

Crazy idea, huh? We move in together.

What do you say?

What do you wanna do with all this mail, babe?

Oh, it's old, I need to shred it, I'll take it.

- It looks important. - Not important.

Shit, it's gonna be work. Fucking Deborah, what.

Magnus, you gotta use these every day.

Yeah, I don't care what the email says. The shipping manifest says Halifax.

Dude, I frigging love this movie, I had no idea you were a cinephile.

- We should do movie nights. - You know it.

Welcome home, buddies.

I'm stoked you're gonna be living with us and paying 20% of the rent,

on the first of every month. In cash.

Cool, sounds chill.

Yeah, I'm still here

and I'm gonna stay here until we get this hideous painting to these people.

- Okay, what's next? - Beehive.

Oh really? You brought your bees?

Yeah, the club started charging rent and I thought, bring them home.

- Yeah. - Yeah, so just the bees outside.

- Let's get them. - Cool yeah.

TWO MONTHS LATER

I've lived here for years and she never visits

and then the second that Hunter is thinking about film school,

she's in New York. It's... I'm just warning you, she's a lot.

I'm good with moms,

so after tonight, she might wanna come visit every weekend.

That's not funny. I really don't want you to go that far, please.

But I appreciate you.

Magnus, you've ruined my life.

Jim, get in here.

Please make him shave it off.

It's mangy and it's grating my face every time he kisses me.

- I think I look great. - You're right, you do.

You're wrong, Sara. You've gotta let a beard blossom. It looks great.

- Darby? - I have nothing to do with this.

James, shave it off.

Please, stop. I have never once told you how to look.

You are a bad influence.

You're such a bad influence.

Well Darby here had top and bottom braces until she was 17.

Cost me a fortune. But you've got to see her graduation photo,

she's got her mouth clamped shut trying to hide it.

She looks like Don Corleone.

I do look like that, I don't think I need you to see that.

Sounds sexy.

- Hey Magnus, how's it going? - Hey Tiffany, good.

Are you all ready to order?

We are, but before we do that, Claudia, Hunter, anything.

Go crazy, it's on me.

Oh well now, in that case, thank you. Another glass of this.

Why don't we do another bottle of that.

Radish foam? Don't you guys just have like, a burger?

Hunter, it's not that kind of place. Just order something off the menu.

You know, Magnus, would you order for us, since you're the expert.

I would love to.

We'll do Hamachi, carpaccio, farfalle,

braised duck, short ribs.

Cacio y pepe and can you see if Carlos will do up a burger for my dude?

- Sure. - Yeah.

Magnus, I just have to say this place Mauve, Mauvay, how do you say it?

- It's Mauve. - Well, it's fabulous.

And I'm impressed with your gumption,

it takes a lot of courage to be in the restaurant business.

But I always told Darby,

"Find a man with hopes and dreams who loves hard work."

I don't remember you ever saying that.

Actually, Darby had a very exciting week at work.

That's true. I'm up for a promotion that would transfer me

from maritime painting to antiquities. It's down to me and four other people.

- Four other people? - Yeah, I mean out of 80 applicants.

Well, I'm proud of you. I always knew you had it in you, somewhere.

Look what happens when you begin to manifest, right.

Oh, speaking of which, did I tell you who I sold a house to last week?

Five-bed, five-bath, home gym?

- Kelly Osbourne. - Shut up.

And Magnus, let me list everything that I remodeled on my house this year.

And here's a story about Darby's birthday

that somehow is actually about how I won a realtor of the year award.

And I sold a house to Kelly Osbourne. And Kelly invited me to a barbecue.

No one cares. How did you make it through that dinner

without stabbing a steak knife through your temple?

Easy. She's not my mom.

Hey, are you sure I can't pay you back for that dinner?

Oh god no, I got it.

Thank you for being so sweet to my very lame family.

My mom obviously loved you.

- Well I can play mom defense any time. - Yeah.

- A little back scratch. - Yeah.

- And I see why she drives you crazy. - Oh yeah?

Yeah. She's like a magpie.

The birds that collect shiny things like tin foil and bracelets

and that wedding ring thing in England.

It was a story, it was a big news story.

It takes all these shiny things up into its nest.

And that is basically what your mom does. She takes your childhood,

your career, your relationships and she makes them all about herself.

Fuck.

And the thing is,

you're really fucking shiny.

And people are gonna wanna take that from you. So watch your fucking back.

Okay.

Wow, she's up.

Yeah, catching up on work emails.

I'm doing a little online shopping on the side.

I literally just went to four shows,

my feet are fucking killing me.

Are you missing Webster Hall?

I know, is it weird I'm an agent?

I'm a fucking suit.

You seem to be enjoying yourself though.

I mean, somebody's gotta make use of all these free drink tickets.

Oh my god, do you want some?

No, no. I'll steal a little of your beer though.

- Well this is nice. - It is nice.

I've missed you, my wife.

You've been so busy touching butts with Hozier in there.

I never see you anymore.

- I'm sorry. - It's okay.

I don't know whether this, I sound so stupid.

What?

I finally feel like really, it feels really right.

Feels just like... I'm excited.

I'm so jealous, you jerk.

You guys are like, let's fuck in public and send each other dirty pictures.

- Yeah. - I'm never gonna have that again.

Oh my god, yeah, that's hard. You're in the most loving secure relationship.

No, Jim, all he wants to do these days

is catch up on work or catch up on sleep.

He's stopped eating carbs, he never drinks, he's no fucking fun.

- Well, he was training for a marathon. - I don't know, man.

Sometimes he feels like

this tattoo I got when I was 18,

and it was so cool at the time.

Now it's like, all faded and you can't really tell what it is anymore.

I'm sorry, fuck, I'm wasted.

Damn.

- I don't mean that. I love Jim. - Yeah. You good?

- Probably just PMSing. - Okay.

And I had to send my mom more money today.

- No, no, no, you're good. - Do you want another beer?

No, I should do a little more work, but do you wanna keep hanging out?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Oh my god.

You wanna come here, baby bird? Yeah.

Oh my god, yeah, that feels so good.

Yeah, my little rock star.

Darby, come with me.

You know I've always thought of us as sisters, right?

So I was kinda hurt when I found out about your little plan,

honestly I felt betrayed. Then I realized there just comes a time

when the little baby bird has to fly on her own.

So congratulations, baby bird.

- Oh, oh my god. I got the job? - Yeah.

- Congrats. - Oh thank you.

Baby! Baby, baby, baby, guess what, guess what, guess what?

- Have you been drinking? - Yeah.

- Are you okay? - Fine.

I mean, I got fired. But yeah, I'm fine.

What?

What happened? Why?

I guess I wasn't pulling my weight, I guess.

I was doing my own thing, I guess. I was comping too many meals.

Hey, this isn't about that dinner with my mom, right?

'Cause I genuinely wanted to pay for that.

I think it's a little late for that.

Well, can't you just talk to Chip? I...

Yeah, Chip can I talk to you? I can't fucking... no, but believe me,

he fucking owes me thousands of dollars in back pay. I'm gonna get mine.

This is very weird timing but

I actually got that job,

which is great 'cause we don't have to worry about money right now,

while you're between gigs, it's not a problem.

Yeah, wow,

that's great.

It could be kinda perfect for us,

'cause you could use this time and work on the plan for the farm

and this extra money will help us save and...

Yeah, I know it's complicated but my dreams are your dreams, right?

Excuse me, congratu-fucking-lations, fucking boss.

I'm so proud of you.

It's just a minor promotion, it's really not a big deal.

We gotta go out. Let's go to Mauve.

Let's go out but let's try somewhere else. Come on.

So Darby, are you making like a shit ton more money now...

Oh my god. Don't be rude, but are you?

- Some. - Sick. Do you have your own office?

Yes, I do. It doesn't have a window or anything but I have my own thermostat.

So say good bye to Three-Cardigan Darby.

- Fuck off Three-Cardigan Darby. - Fuck off Three-Cardigan Darby.

Yes, God.

Oh and also, congratulations to me as I am now officially a homeowner.

I just found out before dinner, my aunt like, left me her house in Jersey.

Is it worth anything?

I don't know, it's kind of run down but it's got really good bones.

- Dude, you should flip it. - Really, you think I could?

Yeah, let's make some money. Why didn't you tell me about this?

I'm telling you now.

Hey babe. You okay?

Yeah, oh yeah.

- Time to re-up? - Yeah.

Excuse me. Mind if we get a bottle of Dom?

Isn't that like, a $300 bottle? Just one second.

I know, but we're celebrating. Said you make more money now.

That's true. Yeah, fuck it. A bottle of Dom it is.

Oh my god.

Babe, why wouldn't she leave it to any of your cousins?

I guess I'm the only one that ever visited her

and I always sent her flowers on her birthday.

Oh, look at you playing that long game with me.

It wasn't that, I really liked her. She had all these crazy stories,

plus, I lived with her for a while during high school while my parents

were thinking about relocating us to Israel for a hot minute.

I'm sorry, but why haven't you told me any of this before?

- You never asked. - Oh I'm sorry I haven't said...

"Hey Jim, tell me about that time you almost moved to Israel."

I guess I'm just saying,

you don't show a lot of interest in talking about our lives before we met.

We already know like, everything there is to know about each other.

- That's not true. That's not true. - Yes it is.

- There's still a lot I'd love to know. - Like what?

What about all that crazy stuff with your mom?

- I wanna know about that stuff. - It's just depressing, Jim.

It's just like, I...

Wanna see how much this house is worth?

A million, two million.

It's gonna be worth like, 90 grand.

They're gonna be like, I owed them money.

Because when you hit the ball, only a small amount of them are fair right...

Oh, I missed you.

But why is it so, why does it take so long for anything to happen?

'Cause I feel like sports are usually more fun.

And that's why people get held up, that's why they're cheating the rules.

- So it's like meditative? - Well no, they're changing rules.

They're shortening the distance between innings.

Oh, amazing, you guys are angels,

everyone is getting very worried that this wouldn't get here.

So I appreciate you. We're just heading this way.

And she keeps insisting that she did cc me and kind of telling everybody.

And I've checked her outbox at this point.

And I have sympathy because I know that she feels trapped.

Like, she just feels bad about it. And that's why she was mean.

Okay.

Can you get me a towel or something, babe?

Yeah.

- Who's that from? - Tiffany.

- Tiffany from Mauve? - Yeah.

Isn't that kinda weird 'cause you don't work there anymore?

We're friends.

- Hey. - Dude.

Are you okay? What's going on?

You've been acting so weird since you got fired.

Yeah, maybe I'm fucking depressed.

I just feel like you're punishing me for not being depressed.

Yeah, so it's about you then. I get it, yeah.

No...

I feel awful if you're depressed and I wanna help

and there are good things happening in my life

and I want to be able to enjoy them.

Fuck, I forgot you're doing great, that you're super fucking successful.

Magnus, what are you doing?

I'm not attacking you, I feel like you want to be in a fight with me.

Maybe I want to feel important.

You are important. You're so important to me.

Oh yeah, of course I am. So that I can go have drinks with your friends

and hang out in your apartment and hear about your day.

Then go out and find a job

and don't spend all day sitting on the couch drinking 14-dollar beer.

They're ales.

- Please don't get that. - Why?

- I can't have friends now? - Of course you can have friends.

Just not slutty waitresses who text you at midnight.

What if Tiffany actually understands what I'm going through?

Then go and nut on Tiffany's back

and spend her fucking money and see if she likes it.

Good morning.

Why, why are you all dressed up?

I'm gonna get out there and try and get a gig.

That's great.

Fingers crossed.

- Hey, Magnus. - Yeah?

You look really nice.

Thank you.

How's it going? Any luck?

Yours is better?

Hey babe, I'm just calling to check how your day's going.

Wondering if you got any fights.

I was gonna pick up some dinner or something,

so let me know if you're in the mood for anything specific.

Yeah, just call me when you get a chance, okay, bye.

Babe, are you OK?

I've called everyone: nobody's heard from him, I called the police

but you have to be missing for three days before they'll look for you.

His phone probably just died and I'm making something out of nothing.

Yeah, my phone dies all the time, but I also still remember where I live.

Yeah, if Jim went out in the morning to "look for work"

and wasn't home by two am, he better not come home.

You could just like, move in with whoever you were fucking.

I literally didn't do anything but this is a curious hypothetical.

- Do you think he's fucking somebody? - No way, no.

- Come on, that's not Mag's style, no. - Oh my god, maybe he's fucking Jim.

I mean, look, we all like Magnus but there's an element of shadiness to him.

You sensed that, right?

Yeah, he's very flirty and he's got all that really scary looking mail.

And the fucking beehive on the fire escape,

what happens if we actually have a fire?

Okay, but he's not shady, he's going through something, but before this,

he's been a model boyfriend, super fun, so affectionate, so great with my mom.

And I mean, right now, it does feel like a whole other person.

Yeah, a shady person.

Okay so, so what do I do?

Your bill is past due.

Triumph Custom Motorcycle USA

Definitely break up with him.

Lots of people have credit card debt, right.

I don't know, I don't know how crazy this is, I can't.

15 grand, he bought a motorcycle with a credit card.

And I found this birthday card from this woman named Heather and...

Okay, so now the guy's not even allowed to have a fucking birthday card.

Jim I'm saying I don't know, okay.

- Hi. - Where have you been?

Can we talk?

Jim!

Where the fuck have you been, Magnus?

I went upstate. I went to our field, I had to clear my head.

Wearing that? You couldn't have texted me. I've been terrified.

I had every intention to go out and get a job yesterday, I fucking swear I did.

But I just felt so bad about myself,

everything's been so fucked since I got fired. I fucked up.

I make fucking stupid choices, I make horrible decisions and for what?

Just so I can feel like a man. And I'm sacrificing our dreams.

- Are you talking about the money? - I went to a dark place, Darby.

What did he say?

And I realized

I can get this back on track.

Just give me a chance please.

I can see the future, Darby. And it's you.

Holy shit.

My dreams are your dreams.

Will you marry me?