Original subtitles

GUYS, ALIEN GLADIATORS ARE COMING TO MISSION CREEK.

( gasps ) I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME.

THANKFULLY, I'M PREPARED FOR AN ALIEN INVASION.

CHASE, YOU HOLD THEM OFF

WHILE THE REST OF US WHO DESERVE TO LIVE ESCAPE.

NO, NO. NOT REAL ALIENS.

MY FAVORITE SCI-FI MOVIE FRANCHISE--

ALIEN GLADIATORS.

THEY HOST ANNUAL FAN CONVENTIONS,

AND THIS YEAR, IT'S IN MISSION CREEK.

I LOVE ALIEN GLADIATORS.

IN THE FUTURE, RIVAL ALIEN WORLDS

THE MORFS AND THE ZARKANIANS

WILL BATTLE OVER CONTROL OF THE GALAXY!

OH. I REMEMBER THAT MOVIE.

IT WAS TERRIBLE.

THE WHOLE THING WAS BLURRY.

YOU DIDN'T WEAR YOUR 3-D GLASSES.

I DIDN'T WANNA LOOK STUPID.

I BET THE ENTIRE CAST WILL BE THERE.

I HAVE EVERYBODY'S AUTOGRAPH,

EXCEPT FOR THE NEW GUY PLAYING PRINCE LANDOR

IN THE SEQUEL-- ANDRE ETHIER.

WHOA, WHOA, WAIT.

AS IN BASEBALL SUPERSTAR ANDRE ETHIER?

SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE ABOUT BASEBALL?

( scoffs ) I LOVE BASEBALL.

YOU KNOW, WITH THE BASES

AND... THE BALL.

OKAY, WHATEVER.

ANDRE ETHIER'S CUTE, AND IF HE'S THERE,

I'M THERE.

THE CONVENTION IS GOING TO BE AWESOME.

THEY'RE BRINGING BACK THE FIRE STAFF CHALLENGE.

WHAT'S A FIRE STAFF?

THIS...

IS A FIRE STAFF.

LOOKS LIKE A STICK WITH LIGHTS.

IT'S A FIRE STAFF.

COMPETITORS BATTLE EACH OTHER

WITH THEIR OWN FIRE STAFFS,

AND THE WINNER GETS A WALK-ON ROLE

IN THE NEXT MOVIE.

AND THAT WINNER IS GOING TO BE ME.

GREETINGS, GOOD MORFS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

GETTING READY FOR THE ALIEN GLADIATORS CONVENTION.

I AM ELDER LUMINA.

AND ELDER LUMINA WILL BE VICTORIOUS

IN THE FIRE STAFF CHALLENGE.

LOOK, ELDERLY LUMINA,

I HATE TO GET YOUR ROBE IN A BUNCH,

BUT THAT ROLE IS MINE.

( laughs ) THAT'S CUTE.

BUT I'VE LOVED THESE MOVIES MY ENTIRE LIFE,

AND WINNING THAT ROLE WILL FILL MY BIGGEST CHILDHOOD DREAM, SO...

I THINK CHILDHOOD DREAMS EXPIRE ONCE YOU HIT 40.

OH, ALL RIGHT, OUT OF THE WAY, MICRO MORF.

STILL THINK I'M TOO OLD TO COMPETE?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS MORE AMAZING,

YOUR MOVES OR THE FACT THAT YOUR DENTURES DIDN'T FALL OUT.

THE WORLD'S FIRST BIONIC SUPER HUMANS.

THEY'RE STRONGER THAN US.

FASTER, SMARTER.

THE NEXT GENERATION OF THE HUMAN RACE IS...

LIVING IN MY BASEMENT?

PRETTY COOL, HUH?

IT'S SHINY 'CAUSE I SHOWERED WITH IT.

OKAY.

YOU REALLY THINK YOU'RE GONNA BEAT MR. DAVENPORT?

PLEASE. ONCE HE STARTS SWEATING,

HE'LL GO BLIND FROM HIS HAIR DYE.

OKAY, ALL CAUGHT UP ON ALIEN GLADIATORS.

GREAT MOVIES, BUT THEY'RE MISSING ONE THING.

SPACE DOG.

SPACE DOG?

YEAH. HE'D BE THE PERFECT COMPANION,

PLUS IN SPACE, AFTER HE DOES HIS BUSINESS,

IT JUST FLOATS AWAY.

HEY, GUYS. SORRY I'M LATE.

WE WEREN'T WAITING FOR YOU.

BACK OFF, BREE. IT'S BEEN A BAD DAY.

COOL FIRE STAFF.

ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO THE CONVENTION TOMORROW, TOO?

YEP. WE'RE EVEN DRESSING IN CHARACTER.

I'M GOING AS GIGABIT, HALF HUMAN, HALF ROBOT.

AND I'M GOING AS PRINCE LANDOR.

HANDSOME YET BRAVE... AND HANDSOME.

WELL, I WILL BE GOING AS THE BEAUTIFUL QUEEN ANDROMEDA.

REALLY? YOU?

WELL, IT IS A FANTASY WORLD.

WE REALLY NEED NEW FRIENDS.

AAH! WATCH THE GLOW STICK, CIRQUE DU SO-LAME.

SORRY, PRINCIPAL PERRY. JUST GETTIN' MY MORF ON.

THERE'S AN ALIEN GLADIATORS COMPETITION TOMORROW--

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, I HATE ALL THAT MORF STUFF.

BUT ALIEN GLADIATORS RULE.

NO. I RULE,

AND THAT'S WHY I'M CONFISCATING THIS STICK.

NO WEAPONS ALLOWED ON SCHOOL GROUNDS.

BUT I NEED THIS FOR THE FIRE STAFF COMPETITION.

AND I NEED IT TO UNCLOG MY TOILET.

( panting and growling )

PLEASE SIGN MY PETITION

TO GET SPACE DOG IN THE NEXT ALIEN GLADIATORS.

HE'LL MAKE A SOLID ADDITION TO THE TEAM.

BARK... MY WORDS.

WILL YOU LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE?

NOBODY CARES ABOUT SPACE DOG.

AND YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS IN THAT THING.

SPACE DOG ISN'T CONCERNED WITH LOOKS.

SPACE DOG ONLY PROTECTS.

AND OCCASIONALLY EATS HIS OWN VOMIT.

OOH, THERE'S THE LINE FOR THE AUTOGRAPH SIGNING.

I BROUGHT MY ACTION FIGURE CARRYING CASE

FOR PRINCE LANDOR TO SIGN.

YOU MEAN, ANDRE ETHIER.

NO, I MEAN PRINCE LANDOR.

WHO'D WANT A BASEBALL PLAYER'S AUTOGRAPH?

YOU KNOW WHAT PRINCE LANDOR NEEDS--

IF YOU SO MUCH AS MENTION SPACE DOG

TO PRINCE LANDOR,

I WILL ROLL UP THE WINDOWS ON THE SPACESHIP

AND PARK YOU NEXT TO THE SUN.

HEY, BIG D.

HEY. WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG? NERVOUS?

NO.

I HAD TO SNEAK INTO PRINCIPAL PERRY'S OFFICE

TO GET MY FIRE STAFF BACK.

BY THE WAY, IS IT LEGAL FOR HER TO HAVE A PET JACKAL?

OKAY, I'M READY. LET'S DO THIS.

THE COMPETITION HASN'T STARTED YET.

OH. SORRY.

AND THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT IN DOOLEY-VILLE.

RESPECT THE ROBE, OKAY?

NOT GONNA LIE.

DOOLEY-VILLE GOT A LITTLE LUCKY ON THAT ONE.

CHECK OUT THIS EVIL GRAND ZARKANIAN.

WHAT A SHOW-OFF.

PROBABLY SOME OVER-ZEALOUS FAN BOY.

UH, THAT FAN BOY JUST MADE IT TO THE FINALS,

WHICH MEANS IT'S DOWN TO YOU AND ME TO COMPETE FOR THE LAST SPOT.

I WAS HOPING THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN.

OH, WELL, TIME TO CRUSH YOUR DREAMS.

I TRAINED YOU WELL.

YOU DIDN'T TRAIN ME.

AND NOW, FOR THE FINAL DEATH BLOW.

( bones crack, whimpering )

WHAT HAPPENED?

NOTHING.

I'M FINE.

I CAN BATTLE... AND I'M FALLING.

I'M FALLING, I'M FALLING.

ARE YOU OKAY? CAN YOU SEE?

OF COURSE I CAN SEE.

GOOD, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO MISS

A SINGLE SECOND OF MY VICTORY DANCE.

JUST A FEW MORE MINUTES.

JUST A FEW MORE MINUTES!

YOU HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR TWO HOURS.

HOW LONG UNTIL YOU STOP TALKING?

JUST A FEW MORE MINUTES.

HEY, I'M HAPPY WE'VE HAD ALL THIS TIME IN LINE.

IT'S GIVEN ME A CHANCE TO COLLECT SIGNATURES

FOR MY SPACE DOG PETITION.

SO FAR, I HAVE SPACE DOG AND ADAM DAVENPORT.

HEY, GUYS.

GREAT COSTUMES.

OH, LOOK, WE BOTH DRESSED UP AS QUEEN ANDROMEDA.

I TOLD YOU I WAS DRESSING UP AS QUEEN ANDROMEDA.

DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT MAD.

HEY, CAN I JUMP IN LINE WITH YOU?

I DON'T KNOW, CAITLIN.

I MEAN, IT'S REALLY NOT FAIR--

THE MORFS PRIDE THEMSELVES ON BEING LOYAL

TO FELLOW MORFS, BREE.

OKAY, FINE. COME ON IN.

THANKS.

EXCUSE ME, PARDON ME.

OUT OF THE WAY.

FOLKS, TURNOUT'S HIGHER THAN EXPECTED,

SO WE'RE CUTTING OFF THE LINE.

PLEASE DON'T RIOT LIKE YOU DID LAST YEAR.

I JUST GOT FEELING BACK IN MY SCALP.

EVERYONE FROM THIS POINT FORWARD GETS A WRISTBAND

GRANTING THEM ACCESS TO THE ANDRE ETHIER AUTOGRAPH SIGNING.

WOO-HOO.

WHAT ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE?

YOU GET A FRUSTRATING STORY TO SHARE IN THE CAFETERIA.

CAITLIN!

I'M SORRY. DO I KNOW YOU?

I AM SO JEALOUS OF YOU, LEO.

THE ONLY THING STANDING BETWEEN YOU AND THAT WALK-ON ROLE

IS THAT EVIL GRAND ZARKANIAN KID.

DON'T WORRY, BIG D. I GOT THIS.

MORF, MORF, MORF, MORF, MORF, MORF.

PREPARE TO FACE OFF

AGAINST THE BRAVEST WARRIOR IN ALL OF MORFDOM.

BE A MAN AND UNMASK YOURSELF.

SURPRISE!

PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S ANOTHER MASK.

PRINCIPAL PERRY? YOU SAID YOU HATE ALIEN GLADIATORS.

NO, I SAID I HATED MORFS.

BUT THE ZARKANIANS ARE A DECEITFUL

AND DESPICABLE SPECIES.

THOSE ARE MY PEEPS.

HOW DID YOU GET THIS FAR IN THE COMPETITION?

YEAH, YOU HAVE THE MUSCLE TONE OF A NEWBORN CALF.

HE SHOULD BE ELIMINATED.

HE STOLE THAT FIRE STAFF FROM MY LOCKED OFFICE.

THAT'S ILLEGAL.

SO IS HAVING A JACKAL IN SCHOOL.

FIGHT ON!

( bell clanging )

DINNER BREAK!

WHAT'S WRONG?

PERRY FIGHTS DIRTY.

I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO BEAT HER.

I WOULD MUCH RATHER YOU WIN THAT WALK-ON ROLE THAN PERRY.

SO PERHAPS, DURING THE DINNER BREAK,

YOUNG PRINCE LANDOR WOULD BENEFIT FROM

THE SAGE MENTORING OF ELDER LUMINA.

THE SAME ELDER LUMINA WHO'S NOW USING HIS FIRE STAFF AS A CANE?

IT'S NOT A CANE.

IT'S A SPACE-AGE WALKING ENHANCER.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GONNA MEET PRINCE LANDOR.

WE'RE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS!

CAITLIN, WE WERE IN LINE FIRST.

WE ONLY LET YOU IN AS A COURTESY.

WHICH IS WHY I DESERVE THAT WRISTBAND.

WHAT HAPPENED TO MORF LOYALTY?

GET A GRIP, DUDE. IT'S JUST A MOVIE.

GIVE ME THAT WRISTBAND!

YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' OUT OF HERE

TILL MR. ETHIER HAS LEFT THE BUILDING,

SO SIT TIGHT, NERDS.

GREETINGS, GOOD MORFS.

I AM MINDMELDOR, SPIRITUAL GUIDE,

AND THE MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR IN THE GALAXY.

NOPE? NOTHIN'?

UH, THE ZARKANIANS HAVE CAPTURED US.

NOT NOW, NERD. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

BECAUSE OF YOU, I'M GONNA MISS OUT ON MEETING PRINCE LANDOR.

WELL, SO AM I.

AND NOW I'M STUCK IN HERE WITH YOU, GIGA-BUTT.

GIGA-BUTT. REALLY?

- ( both arguing ) - SILENCE, MORFS.

HALT THIS BICKERING, ELSE I WILL MELT THEE BRAINS.

OKAY, IT'S MELT THY BRAINS.

LEARN YOUR MORFIAN LEXICOLOGY.

THIS GUY... WHAT A LOSER.

LOOK, JUST LIKE PRINCIPAL PERRY,

THE ZARKANIANS' GREATEST WEAKNESS IS THEIR ANGER.

WHEN THEY GET MAD DURING AN ATTACK,

THEY LOSE SIGHT OF THEIR DEFENSE.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

YOU HAVE TO GET HER TO CHARGE AT YOU.

BUT IF I DO THAT, WON'T SHE CHARGE AT ME?

YES, THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT.

YES, AND THEN, YOU DO MY SIGNATURE MOVE--

THE MORF VORTEX.

THE MORF VORTEX?

JUST SO YOU KNOW, YOU CAN GET TOO NERDY WITH THIS.

( sighs ) GREAT.

NOW I'M STUCK IN HERE WITH A BUNCH OF WEIRDOS.

SAYS BREE EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT.

GUYS, LOOK.

OH!

THE GUARD LEFT HIS SANDWICH.

CHASE, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO USE

YOUR MOLECULAR KINESIS TO GET IT FOR ME.

OR...

I COULD USE IT TO GET THE KEYS.

AFTER THE SANDWICH.

UM, HELLO. YOU CANNOT DO THAT.

IF MINDMELDOR REALIZES

THAT THREE BIONIC HUMANS ARE IN FRONT OF HIM,

WE'LL BECOME THE CONVENTION.

I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA.

MINDMELDOR, MAKE HASTE.

IS THERE DANGER, GIGABIT?

YES. OUR ZARKANIAN OVERLORD

LEFT HIS KEYS ON THE DESK.

WHO NEEDS KEYS WHEN MINDMELDOR CAN EXPLODE

STEEL BARS WITH HIS MIND?

QUITE IMPRESSIVE.

BUT PERHAPS YOU COULD USE YOUR MIND-SHIFTING ABILITIES

TO RETRIEVE THE KEYS.

YOU SERIOUS, DUDE?

( clears throat )

OH...

I AM THE MORF QUEEN.

IMPRESS ME WITH YOUR MENTAL PROWESS,

AND I'LL...

BE INTO YOU AND STUFF.

YEAH, YOU WILL.

I MEAN, YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND, YOUR HIGHNESS.

YEAH, ALSO, SEE IF YOU CAN NAB THAT SANDWICH.

YES!

I DID IT! I AM MINDMELDOR!

MOM!!

HEY!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOU BETRAYED US,

AND MORFS PRIDE THEMSELVES ON BEING LOYAL

TO FELLOW MORFS, CAITLIN.

LATER.

ANDRE ETHIER.

HEY, YOU GUYS KNOW WHERE I CAN CHANGE?

I GOT A GAME TONIGHT,

AND I DON'T WANNA MAKE THE MISTAKE

OF SHOWING UP IN THIS THING AGAIN.

IT'S NOT VERY FLATTERING ON THE JUMBOTRON.

I'LL, UH, I'LL TELL YOU WHERE THE BATHROOM IS

IF YOU GIVE ME AN AUTOGRAPH.

- BASEBALL FAN, HUH? - NOPE.

HEY THERE, ANDRE. I'M BREE.

THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL NAME.

THANK YOU. I CAME UP WITH IT MYSELF.

WAIT. NO, I DIDN'T.

WHO'S TALKING? HI.

UH, SECOND DOOR ON THE LEFT.

THANKS.

SPACE DOG. THAT'S BRILLIANT.

I KNEW IT!

PRINCE LANDOR,

ELDER LUMINA WOULD LIKE TO PRESENT YOU

WITH HIS WARRIOR MASTER ROBE FOR BATTLE.

WOW.

THANKS, BIG D.

WHY DOES IT SMELL FUNNY?

'CAUSE I REFUSE TO WASH IT.

NOW, I'VE TAUGHT YOU

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW TO WIN.

TAKE PERRY DOWN.

MORF, MORF, MORF, MORF, MORF, MORF.

WAIT, STOP. I'M HURT.

ARE YOU OKAY?

SILLY MORF.

I WILL USE YOUR KINDNESS TO BEAT YOU.

THIS IS IT, DOOLEY. YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN.

SEE, I TOLD YOU. I CAN'T BEAT HER.

YES, YOU CAN. USE THE MORF VORTEX.

GET HER TO CHARGE AT YOU.

COME ON!

HEY, PRINCIPAL PERRY.

WHEN I WAS IN YOUR OFFICE, I BROKE INTO YOUR CHEESE DRAWER.

( gasps ) WHAT'S THE POINT OF A GUARD JACKAL

IF IT DOESN'T DO ITS JOB?

DON'T LET IT END LIKE THIS.

YES!

LEO, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.

THANKS, BIG D.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'S GONNA BE EVEN BETTER THAN THIS?

SEEING YOU IN THE NEXT ALIEN GLADIATORS MOVIE.

WHAT?

THAT WALK-ON ROLE IS YOURS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, LEO. THANK YOU.

NO, THANK YOU.

I UNDERESTIMATED YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR AGE,

BUT WITHOUT YOUR WISDOM, I WOULD NEVER HAVE WON THIS.

NOW YOU CAN DIE IN PEACE.

LONG LIVE THE MORFS.

THAT WAS KIND OF A BASEBALL SWING, DON'T YOU THINK?

I MEAN...

THAT'S WHAT I DO.

WE WILL FIGHT FOR OUR FREEDOM!

WAIT. THAT DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT.

CAN WE DO THAT ONE MORE TIME?

DUDE, YOU'RE NOT EVEN GETTING PAID.

WE WILL FIGHT FOR OUR... WAIT.

SHOULDN'T I HAVE A FIRE STAFF, TOO, 'CAUSE...?

JUST GIVE HIM ONE.

WE WILL FIGHT FOR OUR FREEDOM!

SHOULD HE REALLY BE STANDING THERE?

WE WILL FIGHT FOR OUR...

( bones cracking )

LITTLE HELP, LITTLE HELP.

I'M NOT TOUCHIN' HIM.