Original subtitles

COME ON, BREE, WE'RE GOING HOME NOW.

TIME TO GET YOUR THINGS OUT OF YOUR LOCKER.

YEAH, IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE WAITING FOR YOU

TO OPEN YOUR LOCKER OR ANYTHING.

I MEAN, OPEN IT.

WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?

CAN I GO TWO MINUTES WITHOUT YOU TWO HOVERING AROUND ME?

BREE, WITH AN ATTITUDE LIKE THAT IT'S A WONDER

YOU DON'T GET PRANKED MORE OFTEN.

HEY, BREE, YOU KNOW HOW YOU'VE ALWAYS SAID

YOU WANTED TO WORK A PART-TIME JOB WITH ME?

I NEVER SAID THAT.

JUST AGREE WITH ME, BREE. IT'LL BE OVER QUICKER.

ANYWAY, TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY

BECAUSE I JUST STARTED MY WORK STUDY

AT TECH TOWN AND THEY'RE HIRING.

WHAT'S TECH TOWN?

OH! IT'S ONLY THE MOST AWESOME STORE IN THE MALL.

THEY MAKE YOU WORK WEEKENDS,

BUT WHAT DO YOU HAVE GOING ON, ANYWAY?

I DON'T KNOW IF I WANNA WORK AT AN ELECTRONICS STORE.

WHAT THE--

( camera clicks ) AWW.

( laughing )

SERIOUSLY? GLUE?

THAT'S QUITE THE STICKY SITUATION YOU GOT THERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, CAITLIN?

IF IT GETS ME AWAY FROM MY TWO BROTHERS,

I WOULD TAKE A JOB AS A LIFEGUARD AT A SEWAGE PLANT.

SO YOU'RE IN? YEAH!

GREAT! SEE YOU AT THE STORE.

OH, AND TECH TOWN'S A CLASSY PLACE

SO LEAVE THE SEWER TALK AT SCHOOL.

HEY, DIPWADS, HOW DO I GET MY HAND LOOSE?

HMM. NOT SURE. BUT IF YOU FIGURE IT OUT, LET ME KNOW.

Narrator: THE WORLD'S FIRST BIONIC SUPERHUMANS.

THEY'RE STRONGER THAN US,

FASTER, SMARTER.

THE NEXT GENERATION OF THE HUMAN RACE IS...

LIVING IN MY BASEMENT?!

DONALD, SWEETIE, IT'S TIME TO TAKE ME TO THE AIRPORT.

YES! NO MOM FOR TWO DAYS!

I MEAN, WOULD THE LADY LIKE A HAND WITH HER BAGS?

I THINK WHAT HE'S TRYING TO SAY IS,

IT'S MORE FUN WHEN YOU'RE NOT HERE.

I'M ONLY LETTING YOU TWO STAY HOME FROM GRANDMA'S

BECAUSE YOU PROMISED TO COMPLETE

YOUR LIST OF CHORES.

OH, I DIDN'T ASK TO STAY HOME FROM GRANDMA'S.

I FIND HER DELICATE CABBAGE SCENT REFRESHING.

TASHA, WHY DO YOU NEED ALL THIS LUGGAGE?

YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO YOUR MOM'S FOR TWO DAYS.

THAT ISN'T MY SUITCASE.

OH, THAT'S MINE.

OH! OHHH!

WHAT DIED IN THERE?

A RAT.

BUT DON'T WORRY, I COMFORTED HIM

BY WRAPPING HIM IN MY DIRTY LAUNDRY.

OKAY, HOW COME CHASE AND BREE DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING?

THEY DID THE CHORES LAST TIME.

NOW IT'S YOUR TURN, STARTING WITH ALL THIS LAUNDRY.

HA-HA!

HATE TO BE YOU GUYS THIS WEEKEND.

AND HERE'S YOUR LIST.

MY LIST?

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, I HAVE A LIST OF THINGS

I'D LIKE YOU TO DO AROUND HERE.

LIKE GO SHOPPING, GO TO THE SPA,

YOU KNOW, GO TO THE AIRPORT.

GO TO THE AIRPORT'S ON THERE. THE AIRPORT.

LOOK AT THIS.

I'VE GOT LIKE 20 THINGS ON HERE.

I HAVE AN IDEA.

LET ME GUESS.

YOU WANT TO TEACH A MONKEY HOW TO DO OUR LAUNDRY.

LEO, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

HAVE YOU SEEN HOW MUCH LAUNDRY THERE IS?

IT'S A THREE MONKEY JOB.

RIGHT.

I JUST WISH THERE WAS A WAY TO GET ALL THIS HOUSEWORK DONE

AND STILL HAVE TIME FOR FUN.

WELL, MAYBE THERE IS.

THERE!

NOW WE CAN GET AROUND THE HOUSE

AND DO OUR CHORES IN HALF THE TIME!

I LOVE THE CONCEPT,

BUT YOU PUT THIS ZIPLINE TOGETHER IN LIKE 10 MINUTES.

I KNOW, IT'S BARELY SAFE. THANKS FOR NOTICING.

COME ON, ZIPPY, LET'S GO!

YOU NAMED THE ZIPLINE?

I'M RIDING HIM, AREN'T I?

I JUST NEED TO PICK UP SPEED.

LOOK, LEO, I'M FLYING!

I THINK WE GONNA NEED A STEEPER ANGLE

TO MAKE IT WORK BETTER.

BETTER?

THAT'S EXACTLY HOW I ENVISIONED IT.

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE HIRED.

REALLY?

YEAH. I'M SHOCKED AS YOU ARE.

THE FACT THAT CAITLIN ALREADY PUT YOU IN THE UNIFORM

BEAT OUT YOUR COMPLETE LACK OF WORK EXPERIENCE.

HERE'S YOUR TECH TOWN NAME TAG.

IT SAYS "MING."

YEAH, THAT'S THE LAST PERSON I FIRED.

DIDN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN A FLASH DRIVE AND AN SSD.

( mouthing words )

( laughing )

SS DUH.

SHOW MING THE ROPES.

I AM SO HAPPY YOU'RE WORKING HERE.

ME TOO.

I LOVE NOT BEING AROUND MY STUPID BROTHERS.

IT IS SO LIBERATING.

YOU KNOW WHAT I FIND LIBERATING?

NOW THAT YOU'RE THE NEWBIE,

I DON'T HAVE TO DO ALL THE CRUDDY JOBS.

YOU DO.

HAVE FUN CLEANING THE BATHROOM.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID THIS JOB WAS FUN.

IT IS.

NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE I'M HAVING A BLAST!

Leo: ALL RIGHT, I'M GIVING IT A GO!

WHOO-HOO! THIS IS AMAZING!

YOU'VE GOT TO TRY!

Adam: WHOO-HOO!

TREE. TREE. TREE. TREE!

( crash )

WHOO! YEAH!

THAT WAS FUN!

WHO KNEW THERE WAS REALLY SUCH A THING

AS A FLYING SQUIRREL?

SO WHAT'S NEXT?

YOU KNOW, JUST A FEW MORE TWEAKS.

MAYBE ADDING ONE OR TWO MORE LINES.

WHOA!

IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

HEY, CHECK OUT THE TURBO BOOSTER I ADDED.

IT'LL HELP US GET AROUND THE HOUSE 10 TIMES FASTER.

AWESOME!

WAIT, DO YOU THINK IT'LL WORK?

I THINK YOU SHOULD GO FIRST.

OH, ADAM, LOOK OUT FOR THE--

DOOR! DOOR! DOOR! DOOR!

( crash )

MAN, THIS IS A BLAST.

WHO'D WANNA WALK WHEN YOU CAN ZIP?

OH, IT'S TOO BAD I CAN'T SELL MY LEGS.

DO YOU THINK I'D GET MORE SEPARATE OR AS A PAIR?

EITHER WAY, I THINK YOU'D GET MORE FOR THOSE THAN...

WHAT'S GOING ON UP HERE.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I DO HAVE GREAT LEGS.

WHOO-HOO!

BIG D! OH!

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

BUT IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME,

YOU'D HAVE A HOUSE FULL OF MONKEYS DOING YOUR LAUNDRY.

HEY, HEY. OH.

MAY I INTEREST YOU IN A PAIR OF LEGS?

YOU GUYS PUT ZIPLINES THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE?

WE ONLY DID IT TO HELP US GET OUR CHORES DONE.

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS--

WE'LL TAKE IT DOWN.

--AND NOT INVITE ME?

THIS IS AWESOME!

I CANNOT WAIT TO TRY THIS!

SAFETY FIRST.

YOU READY?

I WAS BORN REA-- AAAAH!

LOOK AT HIM GO!

HE IS NOT A GOOD FATHER!

I MOPPED, I SWEPT, AND I GUARANTEE YOU

THE LADIES ROOM HAS NEVER BEEN CLEANER.

WHY DO YOU LOOK SO HAPPY ABOUT IT?

YOU'RE KIND OF CREEPING ME OUT,

AND THAT'S COMING FROM ME.

TRUST ME.

HAVING TO CLEAN A WORKPLACE TOILET

IS STILL BETTER THAN BEING AROUND MY STUPID BROTHERS.

HELLO, LADIES.

CHASE...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I JUST CAME DOWN TO SEE WHAT THIS TECH TOWN WAS ALL ABOUT.

NICE SETUP.

YOU GUYS HAVE ALL THE LATEST MODELS.

EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE.

THIS ONE'S LAST YEAR'S.

I COULDN'T HELP BUT OVERHEAR.

I CAN ASSURE YOU WE ONLY HAVE

THE MOST CURRENT MODELS ON DISPLAY.

SCOTT, THIS IS MY BROTHER AND I CAN ASSURE YOU

THAT HE'S LEAVING.

BYE-BYE.

NOPE.

THIS MODEL'S OLD.

I MEAN, I KNOW THE SHELL HASN'T CHANGED,

BUT LOOK AT THAT SCREEN QUALITY.

THERE'S NO WAY THAT'S GLARE RESISTANT.

YOU'RE RIGHT, THIS IS THE OLD MODEL.

NO ONE'S EVER NOTICED THAT, CAITLIN!

WELL, CHASE, THANKS FOR COMIN' ON DOWN.

NOW WHY DON'T YOU GO LECTURE PEOPLE

ABOUT THE EVILS OF SODIUM AT THE PRETZEL HUT?

(snorts) WHERE DO YOU THINK I JUST CAME FROM?

WAIT.

IT'S PROBABLY A LONG SHOT,

BUT I'M LOOKING FOR ONE MORE HIRE.

ESPECIALLY SOMEONE WITH YOUR TECH-SPERTISE.

WELL, I'M GLAD I'VE EXCEEDED YOUR TECH-SPECTATIONS.

WHAT THE TECH IS GOING ON?!

SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

ANY INTEREST IN WORKING HERE?

NO. NO, NO, NO, NO.

HE HAS NO INTEREST IN WORKING HERE.

CHASE, TELL HIM YOU HAVE NO INTEREST.

0111 00101.

HA HA! HE JUST SAID YES TO MY OFFER IN BINARY CODE.

OH. I WONDER WHAT'S BINARY FOR "I HATE MY LIFE"?

Both: 011 0001--

I GET IT!

WELCOME TO THE TEAM, CHASE.

YOU ARE TECH TOWN'S NEWEST EMPLOYEE.

NO. NO, NO, NO, NO.

THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!

BREE, I'VE GOT A VERY IMPORTANT JOB FOR YOU!

ANYTHING TO GET ME AWAY FROM THIS.

GRAB YOUR MOP.

SOMEONE YAKKED BY THE MONITORS.

CAITLIN, CHASE IS THE NEWBIE.

WHY AM I STILL DOING ALL OF THE GRUNT WORK?

I HAVE TO STAY ON HIS GOOD SIDE.

HE'S CLEARLY MANAGEMENT MATERIAL.

( inaudible dialogue )

IT'S ALWAYS THE CREEPY LITTLE GUYS WHO MAKE IT IN TECH.

CREEPY GIRLS SEEM TO BE DOING PRETTY WELL, TOO.

I'M GONNA RIDE HIS COATTAILS TO THE TOP.

AND THEN GATHER ENOUGH DIRT ON HIM TO GET HIM CANNED.

THANKS FOR COMING DOWN TO TECH TOWN,

WHERE WE ALWAYS TECH CARE OF YOU.

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY THAT AFTER EVERY SALE.

YOU DO IF YOU WANNA BE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH,

WHICH, BY THE WAY, I ALREADY AM

AND IT'S ONLY MY SECOND DAY.

AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?

A NAMETAG WITH MY NAME ON IT.

OOH.

OH, YEAH? JOKE'S ON YOU.

I GOT MING'S NAME TAG, YOU GOT HER PANTS.

LOOK, YOU HAVE TO QUIT.

WHY?

I LIKE IT HERE.

IF YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM WITH IT,

THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD QUIT.

I WAS HERE FIRST!

HEY!

NO BICKERING BETWEEN EMPLOYEES.

NOW, I DON'T WANT TO PLAY FAVORITES HERE,

BUT I LIKE HIM AND NOT YOU.

WHOO-HOO! YEAH!

WHOA!

AAH!

ONE-HANDED!

WHOOPS! NOT ONE-HANDED. WHOO.

WHOO-HOO! YEAH!

WHAAA!

COMIN' THROUGH!

WHOO-HOO!

WHOA! YEAH, WHOA!

YEAH!!!

( all laughing)

THAT IS A GOOD TIME.

BUT AFTER TWO DAYS OF THIS

WE SHOULD PROBABLY GET TO OUR CHORES.

Both: YEAH.

THE CHORES.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, BUT I COULD USE A BREAK.

ME, TOO. I CALL NEXT!

WAIT GUYS, HOLD ON.

AT SOME POINT WE NEED TO FINISH MOM'S TO-DO LIST,

SO WE SHOULD COME UP WITH A PLAN.

OOH! HOW ABOUT WE--

THAT DOES NOT INVOLVE MONKEYS.

IS A BABOON A MONKEY?

YES.

OOH! I HAVE AN IDEA.

HOW ABOUT WE HAVE A CONTEST?

WHOEVER COMPLETES THE ENTIRE ZIPLINE COURSE

WITHOUT BEING KNOCKED OFF, WINS.

AND THEN THE TWO LOSERS HAVE TO FINISH ALL THE CHORES.

YEAH!

GOOD IDEA!

WAIT.

BUT HOW ARE WE GONNA KNOCK EACH OTHER OFF?

YOU HAVE T-SHIRT CANNONS?

WHAT MATURE ADULT DOESN'T HAVE T-SHIRT CANNONS?

ALL OF THEM.

HERE HE COMES!

Adam: WHOO-HOO! FIRE!

MISSED ME!

OOPS. UH....

YEAH, WE PROBABLY SHOULDN'T STAND ACROSS FROM EACH OTHER.

YA THINK?

I'M COVERED IN MY MOM'S PANTY HOSE!

ACTUALLY, THOSE ARE MY COMPRESSION LEGGINGS FROM CYCLING CLASS.

GET READY, HE'S ALMOST HERE!

DON'T WORRY, THERE'S NO WAY HE'S--

WHOO-HOO-HOO!

--GETTING BY US THIS TIME. UHH!

OOPS.

IF WE MISS HIM HERE, WE LOSE, TO ADAM,

AND THE ONLY THING MORE EMBARRASSING THAN THAT

WOULD BE TO LOSE TO-- GO AHEAD, SAY IT.

HE'S COMING!

OH, NO, I AM NOT GIVING UP WITHOUT A FIGHT!

WHOO-HOO!

NICE SHOT!

EWW! TASHA'S SWIMSUIT?!

ACTUALLY, THAT'S MY--

EWW! TASHA'S SWIMSUIT.

GREAT DAY TODAY, TECH TOWNERS!

CHASE, I THINK YOU'VE GOT A BRIGHT FUTURE HERE.

ME, TOO!

GO HOME, CAITLIN.

( laughs )

AND CHASE'S SISTER...

YOU LEFT MOP STREAKS IN THE LADIES ROOM.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THE LADIES ROOM?

YOU'RE GOOD.

OH, AND BY THE WAY MY NAME IS BREE.

REALLY?

MIGHT WANNA STICK WITH MING.

ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS TIDY UP.

I GOTTA RUN TO FOOT WORLD.

THEY'RE HOLDING A PAIR OF SOCKS FOR ME.

CHASE, YOU'RE IN CHARGE TILL I GET BACK.

YA HEAR THAT?

JUST LIKE A MISSION, I'M IN CHARGE.

AND JUST LIKE A MISSION YOU'RE OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT.

I'M OUTTA HERE.

COME ON, BREE, HELP ME CLEAN THIS PLACE UP

OR I'LL HAVE TO TELL SCOTT

AND YOU'RE ALREADY NOT HIS FAVORITE.

HAVE YOU SEEN THAT GUY?

I DON'T WANT TO BE HIS FAVORITE!

JUST STRAIGHTEN UP THE DISPLAY MODELS

AND DUST THE SCREENS.

AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE, START VACUUMING.

SURE THING, BOSS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

SCOTT'S GONNA BE BACK HERE ANY MINUTE!

OH, YEAH. TOO BAD YOU'RE THE ONE IN CHARGE,

SO IF THE STORE'S WRECKED, IT'S ON YOU.

OH, YOU THINK YOU'RE SO CLEVER, DON'T YOU?

WELL, YOU FORGOT ONE THING.

I CAN DO THIS.

OH, PLEASE.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO MOVE FASTER THAN THAT.

YOU'RE ONLY MOVING FURTHER AWAY FROM

"EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH"!

SORRY I TOOK YOU OUT SO HARD.

I FORGOT I HAD A BRICK IN MY PANTS POCKET.

WHY WOULD YOU EVEN HAVE A BRICK IN YOUR PANTS POCKET?

LOOK IT'S REALLY A LONG STORY, BUT LET'S JUST SAY

I KNOW A GUY WHO KNOWS A GUY

WHO WAS GIVIN' OUT FREE BRICKS.

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S FOCUS. BIG D'S ALMOST TO THE FINISH LINE.

I'M HOME! DID YOU MISS ME?

WIFE! WIFE! WIFE! WIFE! WIFE!

NOPE, HE DEFINITELY DIDN'T MISS YOU.

GOOD NEWS, HONEY, I WON!

GOOD LUCK TALKING YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE,

MR. EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH.

GREAT.

I'M GONNA GET FIRED.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?

BECAUSE I FINALLY FOUND ONE NORMAL THING FOR MYSELF

AWAY FROM YOU AND ADAM, AND YOU TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME.

I WASN'T TRYING TO.

I JUST REALLY LIKE IT HERE.

YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS MOCKING MY GENIUS.

BUT AT LEAST HERE IT WAS APPRECIATED.

FOR $8.95 AN HOUR.

YOU MAKE $8.95?

OKAY, FINE.

I GET IT.

I GUESS WE BOTH NEEDED THIS.

BUT IF WE'RE GONNA WORK TOGETHER,

NO MORE BOSSING ME AROUND.

WHEN WE'RE HERE YOU'RE NOT MY MISSION LEADER--

WE'RE EQUALS.

DEAL.

ALTHOUGH OUR PAYCHECKS TELL A DIFFERENT STORY.

Scott: LIKE THE SOCKS? GOT 'EM AT FOOT WORLD.

SCOTT'S COMING BACK!

USE YOUR SUPERSPEED TO CLEAN THIS PLACE UP.

WELL, I MEAN, IF YOU WANT TO.

NO BIG DEAL OR ANYTHING.

TOTALLY YOUR CALL. MM-HMM.

BUT IF YOU COULD MAKE THAT CALL SOON, THAT'D BE GREAT.

WHOA. NICE JOB. THANKS.

IT'S NOT AS NEAT AS I WOULD LIKE IT, BUT--

BETTER. IT'S BETTER. IT'S BETTER.

THANK YOU.

HERE YOU GO, CHASE.

OH.

SORRY, I ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS.

COULDN'T CARRY THREE. AND I FORGOT ABOUT YOU.

IT'S OKAY, SCOTT.

BREE REALLY HELPED ME CLEAN THE PLACE UP.

SO YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

OH! IT'S THAT KIND OF SELFLESS ATTITUDE

THAT'S GONNA MAKE YOU A TECH TOWN STAR.

BUT I'M GONNA EAT BOTH.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO HELP YOU GUYS.

I WON.

YOU BODY-SLAMMED YOUR WIFE--

I'M PRETTY SURE YOU DIDN'T WIN.

SHE WENT DOWN HARD.

"AAAAH!" (imitates crash)

WHERE IS SHE, ANYWAY?

Tasha: WHOO-HOO!

SCRUB IT, BOYS!

YOU THINKIN' WHAT I'M THINKIN'?

LOCKED AND LOADED. MAMA'S GOIN' DOWN.