Original subtitles

( computer beeps ) GREAT JOB, GUYS.

YOU JUST TOOK OUT AN ENTIRE UNIT OF VIRTUAL CYBORGS.

I THINK IT'S SAD THAT YOU HAVE TO INVENT PEOPLE TO PLAY WITH YOU.

ALL RIGHT, LEO, I'M OFF THE CLOCK. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

JUST 'CAUSE MR. DAVENPORT'S AWAY DOESN'T MEAN WE STOP TRAINING.

( both groan )

HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?

I'M MISSING A FOUR-HOUR DOCUMENTARY

ON THE HISTORY OF THE PRINTING PRESS.

BUT LEO AND I WERE GONNA PLAY HUMAN BULL'S-EYE BOUNCE.

DON'T WORRY, IT'S WAY MORE DANGEROUS THAN IT SOUNDS.

HUMAN BULL'S-EYE BOUNCE.

IS THERE ANY WAY YOU COULD GET A GOOD ENOUGH BOUNCE TO LAND IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM?

'CAUSE THAT WOULD SAVE US A LOT OF TIME.

NOPE, HE'S RIGHT, ADAM.

AS MUCH AS I ENJOY WATCHING YOU GET HURT--

(laughs) AND I REALLY DO-- WE HAVE TO TRAIN.

OH, COME ON. THE ADULTS ARE AWAY!

IF WE DON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE BY DOING SOMETHING DESTRUCTIVE,

WE'RE NO BETTER THAN... CHASE.

I'M SORRY, BUT UNLESS HE CAN BE IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE,

HE'S TRAINING.

COME ON, LET'S GET THE BO STAFFS.

OH, MAN, I NEVER GET TO DO WHAT I WANT. IT'S NOT FAIR.

AWW. ARE ALL OF YOUR COOL BIONIC ABILITIES

AND TOP-SECRET MISSIONS GETTING YOU DOWN?

AW, THANKS, BREE. I KNEW YOU'D UNDERSTAND.

(sighs) SORRY, BUDDY.

TOO BAD YOU CAN'T BE IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE.

Eddie: WELL, NOW HE CAN!

'CAUSE IT'S TIME TO PLAY...

"EDDIE'S WILL IT OR WILL IT NOT BLOW UP IN YOUR FACE?"

A RIDING MOWER...

A SET OF BARBECUE UTENSILS...

OR A CELLULAR DUPLICATOR!

OOH! I REALLY WANT TO RIDE SOMETHING ON GRASS!

BUT I DO LOVE THE GRILL.

( game show clock ticking )

( buzzer )

EDDIE, WE'RE GONNA GO WITH THE CELLULAR DUPLICATOR!

( ding ding ding ) GOOD CHOICE!

THIS LOVELY STATE-OF-THE-ART DEVICE

SCANS HUMAN DNA AND CREATES A LIFE-LIKE DOUBLE

USING SYNTHETIC BIOPLASMA!

TOO COMPLICATED. GO FOR THE RIDING MOWER.

NO. THIS IS HOW WE CAN MAKE TWO OF YOU.

IT MAKES A NON-HUMAN TWIN OUT OF A HUMAN.

THAT'S RIGHT. BUT BE CAREFUL, IT'S NOT FULLY TESTED,

SO THERE'S A SMALL CHANCE IT COULD GO HORRIBLY WRONG.

THEN WHY ARE YOU TELLING US TO USE IT?

THERE'S A SMALL CHANCE IT COULD GO HORRIBLY WRONG.

I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT. WHERE IS IT?

I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.

( ding )

HOW'S IT WORK?

IT JUST NEEDS A SAMPLE OF YOUR DNA.

OOH! I GOT THIS.

( spits )

( machine whirring )

YA KNOW, YOU COULDA JUST PUT A HAIR IN THERE, RIGHT?

EWW. THAT'D BE GROSS.

( whirring, crackling )

AW, LOOK! IT HAS MY EYES.

WHOA! AWESOME!

THIS MAY HAVE BEEN A BIG MISTAKE.

THE WORLD'S FIRST BIONIC SUPERHUMANS--

THEY'RE STRONGER THAN US,

FASTER, SMARTER.

THE NEXT GENERATION OF THE HUMAN RACE IS...

LIVING IN MY BASEMENT?!

♪♪

ALL RIGHT, BREAK'S OVER. FIRE UP THE SIMULATOR.

ADAM, PLEASE REMEMBER: THE CYBORGS ARE FAKE, BUT I AM REAL.

JUST ONE QUESTION: IS THIS REAL?

OW!

WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

BECAUSE REAL PAIN'S FUNNIER THAN FAKE PAIN.

UHH! OHH!

YOU'RE A GENIUS? HA! EVEN I SAW THAT COMING.

OH. AWW!

THIS IS GREAT. THEY'RE TOTALLY BUYING DUPLICATE YOU.

I KNOW! THE ONLY THING MORE FUN THAN HITTING CHASE IS WATCHING ME HIT CHASE.

LET THE HUMAN BULL'S EYE BOUNCE BEGIN!

WHOO!

OKAY. IT'S AS EASY AS IT LOOKS.

JUMP AS HIGH AS YOU CAN AND TRY AND LAND IN ONE OF THE POINT CIRCLES.

COOL. IT'S JUST LIKE BEING AT A REAL CARNIVAL.

I KNOW. I EVEN COVERED THE FLOOR WITH POPCORN AND MYSTERY GOO.

THANKS.

I'LL GO FIRST.

THEY KEY IS TO GET A LOT OF BOUNCE

AND THEN WORRY ABOUT ACCURACY.

OH, JUST HURRY UP AND GET HURT!

WHOA!!!!

( crash )

QUICK! GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!

I'VE GOTTA DO THAT AGAIN!

HEY! HANSEL AND GRETEL.

MY NIECE IS VISITING FROM... UM...

WHEREVER SHE LIVES,

AND I'M GONNA ASSIGN YOU TWO TO BE CHAPERONES FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.

OH, UH... WELL, SEE, I CAN'T,

WE ARE SO SORRY-- 'CAUSE I GOTTA BE--

OH, THAT'S SO CUTE! YOU THINK YOU HAVE A CHOICE!

HA HA HA HA HA!

BUT WHY WOULD YOU WANT US TO SHOW HER AROUND?

YOU CAN'T STAND US.

OH. YOU'VE NOTICED.

LOOK, MY NIECE IS SWEET AND INNOCENT.

IF SHE HANGS AROUND THE COOL KIDS, THEY'LL CORRUPT HER.

THAT'S WHY SHE'S HANGING WITH YOU.

IF IT'S UNCLEAR, LET ME SPELL IT OUT.

YOU'RE NOT COOL.

HI, AUNT TERRY!

KERRY, DARLING!

THIS IS...THE-- GIMME A SECOND...

KEVVVINNN....

SUZZZZANNNN..

BREE AND CHASE.

(giggling) NO ONE REALLY CARES.

NICE TO MEET YOU! I'M KERRY PERRY!

THANKS FOR SHOWING ME AROUND.

I HOPE IT'S NOT TOO MUCH OF A BOTHER.

NO, NO. WE ARE HAPPY TO BE FORCED TO HELP.

GREAT. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I'M HEADED TO THE CHEM LAB TO SEAR OFF A WART.

BYE, AUNT TERRY! HEE HEE!

HERE'S THE DEAL, LADIES.

I'M SKIPPING SCHOOL AND HITTING THE MALL.

AND WHEN I GET THERE, I'M GONNA PLANT A DEAD FLY IN MY BURRITO

AND EAT FOR FREE.

I'M SORRY, BUT AS YOUR CHAPERONE--

SHUT IT, SQUAT-MUG!

LITTLE ELVES CALLED--

THEY WANT YOU BACK AT THE TREE TO MAKE COOKIES.

UM...(laughs)... YOU CAN'T TALK TO US LIKE THAT.

HA! JUST DID, BOY-HIPS!

I'M OUTTA HERE.

YOU CAN'T JUST GO.

YEAH. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL YOUR AUNT?

BESIDES THE FACT THAT SHE SHOULD ROUND UP SOME BAIL MONEY.

TELL HER I WAS WITH YOU TWO NIMRODS ALL DAY!

AND YOU BETTER DO MY HOMEWORK.

OR ELSE... YOU'LL GET THIS--

AUNT TERRY!

THEY WERE SO MEAN TO ME!

(sobbing) MAKE THEM PAY!

MAKE THEM...PAY.

SO, WE GOOD?

LATER, PEEPS.

OKAY, SHE IS DEFINITELY A PERRY.

( ring tones )

GO FOR DOOLEY.

HEY, HOW'S IT GOIN'?

GREAT. DUPLICATE ADAM IS ACTING JUST LIKE YOU.

ALTHOUGH HE DID GET A "D" PLUS ON YOUR GEOGRAPHY TEST.

A "D" PLUS? HE BETTER DIAL IT BACK OR WE'RE GONNA GET CAUGHT.

SO HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING AT HOME?

OH, GREAT. I'M JUST FINISHING UP THE "NACHO VOLCANO."

(gasps) OH, NO!

THE CHEESE LAVA'S COMING!

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, PEOPLE OF JALAPEÑIA!

NO!!! NO!!!

DON'T WORRY. I'LL SAVE YOU WITH MY MOUTH.

( imitating airplane )

HEY, ADAM.

THAT IS NACHO RESPONSIBILITY!

HA HA HA HA!

OKAY, BYE.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

I WANT TO TALK TO ME.

IT'S FOR YOU.

WHO IS IT? YOU.

OH.

HELLO.

HEY, HOW AM I? YOU'RE GOOD. HOW AM I?

YOU'RE GOOD. JUST SO YOU KNOW,

I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT THIS WHOLE SCHOOL THING.

OH, WELL, I'M HAVING A BLAST. I'M ABOUT TO GO ICE FISHING.

WHAT?! HOW YOU GONNA DO THAT?

I FROZE LEO'S FISH TANK!

NO WAY! I GOTTA GO.

( bubbling )

MATH HOMEWORK.

CHEMISTRY HOMEWORK.

HISTORY HOMEWORK.

AND HERE'S YOUR ART PROJECT.

DON'T EXPECT AN "A."

DON'T EXPECT A "THANK YOU."

NOW GIVE ME TWENTY BUCKS.

FOR WHAT?!

MILKSHAKES FOR ME AND MY GIRLS.

FORK IT OVER, PRINCESS!

WHA--!

YOU JUST GOT A SHAKEDOWN BY A PRE-TEEN!

I'M THIRTEEN, BUM-SWEAT!

WERE YOU RAISED BY A GANG OF BIKERS?

THAT'S IT. WE ARE DONE WITH THIS.

PRINCIPAL PERRY,

WE NEED TO HAVE A LITTLE DISCUSSION ABOUT YOUR NIECE.

WE SURE DO.

SHE LOVES YOU TWO!

WHAT?! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

I KNOW. I FIND YOU REPULSIVE.

THANKS FOR WATCHING TERRY.

THIS MORNING I GOT TO SPEND AN EXTRA HOUR AT THE DOG TRACK!

OKAY, THAT'S GREAT. BUT WE--

SO NOW I NEED YOU TO WATCH HER TONIGHT.

I'M PLAYING FLAG FOOTBALL WITH THE SHERIFFS.

AND HOW DO YOU GET TO PLAY FLAG FOOTBALL WITH THE SHERIFFS?

GO TO ENOUGH HIGHWAY WRECKS WITH FREE PIZZA AND THEY LET YOU IN.

ANYWAY, IF YOU WATCH KERRY, I MIGHT JUST FORGET ABOUT

THE DETENTION DAYS YOU'VE ACCRUED.

WHAT DETENTION DAYS?

YOU MOUTHIN' OFF? YOU JUST GOT DETENTION!

WHAT?! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

JUST DID, SALLY SIDEBURNS!

THAT IS IT. WE ARE DONE WATCH--

UH, CAN YOU JUST GIVE US ONE SECOND, PLEASE?

HMM.

LOOK, OKAY, THE GIRL IS A NIGHTMARE,

BUT IF WE DO THIS, WE MIGHT JUST GET ON PRINCIPAL PERRY'S GOOD SIDE.

THE WOMAN HAS MANY SIDES-- NONE OF THEM ARE GOOD.

FINE, I'LL DO IT.

( grunting )

OHH.

WE'VE DISCUSSED IT,

AND KERRY IS MORE THAN WELCOME TO COME OVER TONIGHT.

THERE YOU GO AGAIN-- ACTING LIKE YOU HAVE A CHOICE.

OOOH!

UHHHH!

HEY, WHERE'S DUPLICATE ADAM? I LOST HIM AT LUNCH!

DON'T WORRY. HE CAME HOME SO HE COULD GO ICE FISHING WITH ME.

WHAT?! YEAH, IT'S A LONG STORY.

BUT REMEMBER YOUR GOLDFISH BEYONCE?

YEAH.

SHE'LL BE JOINING US FOR DINNER.

JUST TELL ME WHERE YOUR DUPLICATE IS.

HEY, RELAX. I JUST TOLD HIM EXACTLY WHAT CHASE TOLD ME:

UNLESS YOU CAN BE IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE, IT'S BACK TO SCHOOL.

BUT HE DIDN'T GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

WELL, THEN WHERE IS HE?

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO,

BUT WE'RE GONNA START A BOY BAND.

OKAY, WHICH ONE OF ME IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?

HE IS. HE IS. HE IS.

I ONLY DUPLICATED MYSELF ONCE BECAUSE YOU SAID I HAD TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT.

THEN THE DUPLICATE I MADE DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL EITHER.

AGAIN, MAKES SENSE.

ADAM, WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.

I KNOW! LET'S MAKE ONE MORE DUPLICATE

AND MAKE THAT ONE GO TO SCHOOL!

NO! NO, NO, NO, NO!

NO. NO. NO!

( crackling ) YOU BROKE MY ME MAKER!

AND YOU FRIED BEYONCE! WE'RE EVEN!

OKAY, WE NEED TO FIND A WAY TO GET RID OF THOSE GUYS.

I'LL GO GET CHASE, YOU STAY DOWN HERE AND KEEP AN EYE ON THEM.

WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE STUCK HERE FOR A WHILE,

SO LET'S GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. I'M ADAM.

All: NO WAY! THAT'S MY NAME!

NO! WHAT?!

All: NO WAY! THAT'S MY NAME!

BYE, AUNT TERRY!

LOVE YOU! (giggles)

OHH.

HER CAR IS DISGUSTING.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE KITTY LITTER ENDS AND THE COOKIE CRUMBS BEGIN.

ALL RIGHT, KERRY.

YOU'RE ON OUR TURF NOW, SO WE'RE NOT GONNA PUT UP WITH YOU BOSSING US AROUND.

I'M NOT STAYING WITH YOU LOSERS.

I'M GOING TO THE SKATE PARK TO THROW MARBLES IN THE HALF-PIPE

AND THEN SELL ICE PACKS IN THE PARKING LOT.

THAT IS PURE EVIL.

YOU CALL IT EVIL, I CALL IT A LUCRATIVE SIDE BUSINESS.

( cell phone rings ) OH,

MY TAXI'S HERE.

DON'T WAIT UP. HA HA HA!

AREN'T YOU GONNA GO AFTER HER?

AREN'T YOU GONNA GO AFTER HER?

FINE. WE'LL BOTH GO.

HEY! HEY, GUYS!

UM, WE HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH ADAM.

YOU'LL HAVE TO BE MORE SPECIFIC.

YES. THERE ARE FIVE OF HIM.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WE MADE DUPLICATES.

WHAT?!

HEY, GUYS.

ADAM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP HERE?

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOWNSTAIRS WATCHING THE OTHER ADAMS.

HELLO? THEY'RE OUR GUESTS.

IT WOULD BE RUDE NOT TO OFFER THEM DRINKS.

"TWO WATERS, ONE O.J.,

AND ONE BERRY-INFUSED DECAF GREEN TEA, SOY MILK ON THE SIDE."

ONE OF ME IS VERY HIGH-MAINTENANCE.

OHH! THAT'S TWENTY IN A ROW!

MORE ADAMS?

WE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO AIR THIS PLACE OUT.

SEE, GUYS? THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. THEY'RE ALL HERE.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID THERE WERE FOUR DUPLICATES.

YEAH. ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

UH-OH.

JUST GO TRACK DOWN THE MISSING ADAM.

I'LL KEEP AN EYE ON THEM AND FIND A WAY

TO REVERSE THE DUPLICATION PROCESS.

WHERE'S THE DUPLICATOR?

WELL, THERE'S A SHARD OF IT UNDERNEATH YOUR SHOE.

YOU BROKE THE DUPLICATOR?!

HEY, THAT THING WAS SQUIRTING OUT AN ADAM EVERY TEN SECONDS!

WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO?!

JUST...GO FIND THE MISSING ADAM!

UM...

WE WERE TOLD THERE WOULD BE BEVERAGES?

DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOUR DUPLICATE

WOULD BE HIDING UNDER THE CUSHIONS?

OH, HE'S DEFINITELY BEEN HERE.

MY COUCH COOKIES ARE GONE.

I FIGURED OUT HOW TO GET RID OF THE DUPLICATES.

WHEN AN ELECTRICAL CURRENT FLOWS THROUGH THEM, THEY VAPORIZE.

I ALREADY USED THIS TO ZAP THREE OF THEM DOWNSTAIRS.

NOW WE JUST HAVE TO FIND THE ONE LAST ADAM THAT GOT AWAY.

FOUND HIM.

FOUND HIM.

GUYS, WHAT IS GOING ON?

THERE WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE ONE ADAM LEFT.

( ding, door opens ) 3rd Adam: HI, EVERYONE!

4th Adam: HEY, THOSE GUYS LOOK JUST LIKE US!

NO, YOU'RE WEARING WHAT I'M WEARING.

( Adams all talking )

NO WAY! NO WAY!

NO. NO.

I CANNOT HANDLE THIS MANY ADAMS.

THE WORLD CANNOT HANDLE THIS MANY ADAMS.

THIS IS ARMAGEDDON!

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

IF THERE'S ONE THING I'M GOOD AT, IT'S BREAKING THINGS,

AND I DEFINITELY BROKE THAT DUPLICATOR.

OH, DID I NOT MENTION

THAT THE DUPLICATES CAN MULTIPLY ON THEIR OWN?

THEY JUST HAD TO LEARN HOW.

AND GUESS WHAT? I TAUGHT THEM!

( knock on door )

Principal Perry: YOO-HOO! ANYBODY HOME?

GUYS! THAT'S PRINCIPAL PERRY!

GREAT. SO NOW THERE ARE EIGHTEEN ADAMS WALKING AROUND,

AND NO KERRY. SHH!

LET'S JUST PRETEND WE'RE NOT HERE.

Perry: I HEARD THAT.

YOU DON'T THINK MY PARENTS TRIED THAT ON ME AT CHRISTMAS?

KERRY? ARE YOU OKAY?

( banging on door ) OPEN UP!

EVERYTHING'S FINE! WE JUST NEED A SECOND.

LISTEN UP, LITTLE PIGS!

I'VE GOT A WELDING TORCH AND A BATTERING RAM IN MY TRUNK.

THIS COULD GO EASY, OR THIS COULD GO HARD.

THAT'S ONLY SEVENTEEN. THERE'S ONE LEFT.

WHERE IS HE?

I DON'T KNOW.

Perry: LOOK OUT BELOOOOOOW!

( crash )

DID YOU JUST SHIMMY DOWN THE CHIMNEY?

IT'S OKAY. I'M A PROFESSIONAL.

USED TO BE A CHIMNEYSWEEP BACK IN THE NINETIES.

LEARNED THE HARD WAY NOT TO WEAR A SKIRT.

NOW...

WHERE'S MY NIECE?

UH, SHE'S JUST GETTING HER THINGS TOGETHER.

SHE'LL BE OUT ANY MINUTE.

HEY, GUYS.

HEY, ADAM.

ADAM?!

WHAT'S GOING ON? WHY ARE THERE TWO OF YOU?

YOU MUST HAVE GOT SOME SOOT ON YOUR GLASSES!

OH, YEAH! YES, YOU DID!

LET'S GET THOSE CLEANED RIGHT OFF.

OH. HEY! MAYBE WE CAN HAVE A SNACK.

WOULD YOU LIKE A CELERY STICK?

WHAT DO YOU THINK? POINT ME TO YOUR PREMIUM MEATS.

HURRY UP AND ZAP THEM.

ALL RIGHT. WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE REAL ADAM?

I AM. I AM.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? JUST ZAP 'EM BOTH.

I CAN'T. IF I ZAP THE REAL ADAM,

THE JOLT OF ELECTRICITY WILL FRY HIS BIONIC INFRASTRUCTURE.

WELL, YOU GOTTA ZAP ONE OF 'EM.

( zapper powering up )

MAY THE BEST ADAM WIN. GOOD LUCK, BRO.

HO... HO...

HURRY UP BEFORE PERRY SEES!

Perry: YOUR TARTAR SAUCE IS EXPIRED! CAN I HAVE IT?

I THINK YOU'RE GOOD.

ALL RIGHT. WHICHEVER OF YOU IS THE REAL ADAM,

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.

YOU ASKED FOR IT.

WHAT? NO-- NO!

NO! NO! NO!

AAAH!

BYE-BYE.

UH, REMEMBER, NEXT TIME I COME OVER,

I LIKE MY SALAMI SPICY.

NOW, WHERE IS KERRY?

UH...KE-KERRY-- SEE, THE THING IS--

KERRY, SHE'S JUST, UH...

WE WERE... KERRY!

AUNT TERRY!

YOU'RE HERE!

I WAS JUST TAKING A STROLL ON THEIR LOVELY GROUNDS, AND...

I MUST HAVE GOTTEN LOST.

SO YOU'RE OKAY?

OKAY?

THESE TWO HAVE BEEN...

WONDERFUL TO ME.

I'M JUST SAD I'M NOT GONNA GET TO HANG OUT WITH THEM ANYMORE.

WELL, THEN I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS.

I'M ENROLLING YOU AT MISSION CREEK,

SO THEN YOU'LL GET TO SPEND EVERY DAY WITH...

STEEE...AND DUU....

BREE AND CHASE.

YEAH. I STILL DON'T CARE.

( laughs )

( all laughing )

( knock on door )

OH. PIZZA'S HERE. I'LL GET IT.

ONE LARGE PEPPERONI FOR...ADAM.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH... ADAM.

THAT'S SO WEIRD. THAT PIZZA GUY LOOKED JUST LIKE ME.

UH-OH.

OH, BOY. YUP. I'LL GRAB THE ZAPPER.

HEY! THERE'S THREE PIECES MISSING!

( laughs )

THAT'S SO LIKE ME.

♪♪

(boing)

♪♪ (guitar) YES!