Original subtitles

PREPARE YOURSELVES, DINGOES!

IT'S TIME FOR MY ANNUAL FITNESS CHALLENGE WEEK!

THIS YEAR, FORGET ABOUT PUSH-UPS AND SIT-UPS.

IT'S TIME FOR BRUISES, SPRAINS, AND FREAK ACCIDENTS!

I PRESENT

THE DEATH SPIRAL SMACK DOWN!

WELL, SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT HER,

BUT SHE KNOWS HOW TO BRING THE SIZZLE.

WHY DO YOU CALL IT THE DEATH SPIRAL?

I MEAN... DOESN'T LOOK SO SCARY TO ME.

WHY DON'T I HAVE VICE PRINCIPAL COCHRAN

DEMONSTRATE FOR YOU?

( laughter )

IT'S NOT BROKEN! WALK IT OFF!

S-SO HOW DOES IT WORK?

YOU WRESTLE YOUR OPPONENT AS IT SPINS YOU SILLY.

IT'LL TEST YOUR STRENGTH, REFLEXES,

AND ABILITY TO HOLD YOUR BLADDER AGAINST CENTRIFUGAL FORCE!

HA HA HA!

WHAT DO YOU THINK, LEO? CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

WELL, MY BLADDER'S STRONG, BUT JUST TO BE SAFE,

I'M STICKING TO DARK GYM SHORTS.

I MYSELF WILL BE WEARING A FULL-BODY DIAPER.

IN THE FACE OF FEAR, YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GONNA LEAK FROM.

IF YOU HAVE THE GUTS, PARTNER UP,

AND CHOOSE CAREFULLY.

YOUR SURVIVAL DEPENDS ON THE DECISION YOU MAKE,

AND THERE ARE VERY FEW GOOD OPTIONS!

HA HA HA!

WELL, LEO, EVERY YEAR WE LOSE THE FITNESS CHALLENGE,

BUT THIS YEAR, WE'RE GONNA DO IT IN STYLE.

I DON'T WANT TO BRAG, BUT...

I TOTALLY EARNED THE SEWING MERIT BADGE.

LISTEN, GORDO, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A CAPE.

I WANT TO BE A WINNER, SO THIS YEAR,

WE'RE GOING IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION.

YES.RE?

BUT BY "WE," I MEAN NOT YOU.

I'M GOING WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

OH. I SEE.

THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE MOST OF THE SCHOOL

WOULD GIVE THEIR RIGHT HAND TO BE MY PARTNER.

I'M SORRY, GORDO, BUT WITH MY NEW PARTNER,

I'M GONNA WIN THIS THING.

( snarky chuckle )

YOU'RE GONNA TRY THIS AGAIN?

LAST YEAR YOU THREW YOUR BACK OUT

PICKING YOUR WEDGIE!

HA HA HA!

WELL, THIS YEAR'S GONNA BE DIFFERENT

BECAUSE I HAVE A SECRET WEAPON.

OH, WHAT IS IT?

YOU.

AH, THAT IS A GOOD SECRET.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT!

Narrator: THE WORLD'S FIRST BIONIC SUPERHUMANS.

THEY'RE STRONGER THAN US,

FASTER, SMARTER--

THE NEXT GENERATION OF THE HUMAN RACE IS...

LIVING IN MY BASEMENT?

**

All: AAAAHHH!

AFTER SCHOOL TODAY IS THE BIG DEATH SPIRAL SMACK DOWN.

ME AND ADAM ARE GONNA UNLEASH THE FURY!

YOU GUYS GONNA COME WATCH?

WE'D LOVE TO, BUT WE'RE GONNA GO TO THE MALL

AND CHECK OUT THE ESCALATOR.

I FINALLY MASTERED THE ART

OF STEPPING OFF WITHOUT TRIPPING.

OOH, UM, WERE WE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT TODAY?

SHOOT, I-I CAN'T MAKE IT.

I HAVE A REALLY BIG TEST TO STUDY FOR.

WHAT?

( sighs ) OKAY, FINE.

I JUST HOPE THOSE OLD LADIES ARE THERE AGAIN

TO CLAP FOR ME.

NEVER HAD THIS CEREAL BEFORE.

NO, LEO!

THOSE ARE POWER PELLETS.

I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY'RE CALLED,

AS LONG AS THEY MAKE MY MILK CHOCOLATY.

NO.

THEY'RE BITE-SIZED PIECES OF ADRENALIN

THAT ACTIVATE OUR BIONICS.

WE DON'T EAT THEM ANYMORE

BECAUSE WE LEARNED HOW TO ACTIVATE THEM OURSELVES.

THEY TASTE LIKE DOG TREATS

WITHOUT THE LIVERY AFTERTASTE.

I'M GUESSING.

I GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE THESE.

CAREFUL, LEO!

THOSE ARE POWDERED SUGAR COOKIE DONUT O's.

STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THEY SLOW DOWN YOUR BRAIN ACTIVITY.

( gasps ) YUMMY POWDERED SUGAR COOKIE DONUT O's!

SO, ADAM,

HERE IS OUR SMACK DOWN GAME PLAN.

I WILL DISTRACT EVERYONE

WHILE YOU USE YOUR BIONICS TO CRUSH OUR OPPONENTS.

I'M SORRY, LEO, BIONICS ARE FOR MISSIONS.

USING THEM FOR A SCHOOL COMPETITION WOULD JUST BE WRONG.

BUT...

YOU HA TO USE YOUR BIONICS!

IT'S THE WHOLE REASON I CHOSE YOU!

IT'S THE WEAPON PART OF OUR SECRET WEAPON!

OH, BUMMER!

YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA USE BIONICS,

AND THEN YOU BLEW OFF YOUR OLD BUDDY GORDO.

COULDA HAD YOURSELF A GREEN CAPE, DUDE.

OH, ADAM, LET ME HELP YOU OUT WITH THAT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU'RE RUINING MY CEREAL!

OH, AM I? LET'S--

OH, YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. THAT IS NOT MILK.

HERE, LET ME FIX THAT.

THERE YA' GO.

THERE.

EAT UP, TEAMMATE.

I CAN'T EAT THIS!

NOT WITHOUT A SPOON!

OH, YEAH.

( school bell rings )

WHAT IS BREE STILL DOING HERE?

SHE SAID SHE HAD TO STUDY FOR A TEST.

YEAH, SHE'S NOT STUDYING FOR A TEST.

( whooshing sound )

SO, BREE, I WAS THINKING WE COULD GO TO THE PARK

AND FISH SPARE CHANGE OUT OF THE FOUNTAIN.

LAST WEEK, I MADE A BUCK SEVENTY-THREE!

WHATEVER WE DO, I HAVE TO AVOID MY BROTHER.

I TOTALLY DITCHED HIM TO HANG OUT WITH YOU GUYS!

SHE LIED TO ME!

WOW. MILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF TECHNOLOGY

FOR YOU TO GET A TINY GRASP OF THE OBVIOUS.

SHE THINKS SHE CAN JUST DITCH ME AND GET AWAY WITH IT?

OHH. SHE IS GOING DOWN.

MR. DAVENPORT GAVE ME AN OVERRIDE APP

SO IN AN EMERGENCY SITUATION,

I CAN TAKE OVER ADAM AND BREE'S BIONICS.

( whirring sound )

CONNECT TO BREE.

( laughter )

OW! OW! OW! WHY AM I HITTING MYSELF?

( lWHOA!er )

TIME TO WAKE UP, BREE! NOT SLEEPY ANYMORE!

WAKE UP!

I WAS FRIENDS WITH A SELF-SLAPPER ONCE.

I'M NOT GOING DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN!

( laughter )

MAN, THAT CEREAL'S REALLY GOT ME GOING!

I COULD BITE THE HEAD OFF A GAZELLE!

( comical growling )

GREAT! LET'S FOCUS THAT...

DISTURBING ENERGY ON WINNING!

GREETINGS, LEO.

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I ALSO FOUND A SECRET WEAPON--

A SECOND-YEAR SENIOR

WHO WILL CONQUER YOU AND YOUR FREAKISH TEAMMATE.

WHO?

I THINK HE'S TALKING ABOUT THAT GUY.

NERVOUS? I WOULD BE IF I WERE YOU.

THEY CALL HIM DESTRUCTO.

I'M NOT NERVOUS.

I HAVE HIM.

YEAH. THEY CALL ME ADAM-O.

MAN, I NEED A BETTER NAME.

LISTEN UP, YOU FLABBY, WEAK UNDERACHIEVERS!

HERE'S HOW THIS WORKS-- TWO TEAMS FACE OFF.

FIRST TEAM THROWN OFF THE PLATFORM LOSES.

SUDDEN DEATH-- NO SECOND CHANCES!

SHORT KID AND DOOFUS,

YOU'RE UP AGAINST SPAGHETTI LEGS AND BOWL CUT!

LET'S GET READY TO SPIRAL!

( applause )

STUPID THING'S BROKEN!

( imitates air horn )

GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!

LEO!

WAY TO STICK THE LANDING! HA HA! NEXT!

WE WON!

I AM THE DEATH SPIRAL MASTER!

RRRAAAAHHHH!

HE IS THE DEATH SPIRAL MASTER!

WHOO!

UH, HEY, GUYS.

SORRY ABOUT EARLIER. IT'S THIS NEW SCHOOL--

IT'S GOT ME ALL SLAP-HAPPY.

( whirring sound )

THAT'S OKAY. WE ALL HAVE OUR MOMENTS.

GREAT. ( speaking gibberish )

BREE, YOU'RE HAVING A LOT OF MOMENTS!

NO, IT'S JUST, UM, I SPEAK SWEDISH.

( speaking Spanish )

A-AND SPANISH. ( nervous chuckle )

S'UP, LADIES? HOW Y LIVIN'?

( speaking Swedish )

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. SHE WASN'T THIS WEIRD LAST WEEK!

YOU DID THIS TO ME.

YOU'RE USING THAT STUPID OVERRIDE APP.

YEP, BECAUSE YOU LIED TO ME.

WELL, SINCE YOU USED BIONICS ON ME,

I'M GONNA USE MINE ON YOU.

AND BEWARE.

IT'S COMING WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

OOH! THOSE ARE BIG WORDS COMING FROM

THE MANLY SPANISH- SPEAKING SWEDE.

COME ON! COME ON!

YES! WHOO-HOO!

IF THEY ASK AT THE HOSPITAL,

THAT DID NOT HAPPEN ON SCHOOL GROUNDS!

YOU JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!

I KNOW, AND I'M NOT EVEN TRYING!

ALL RIGHT, CHASE, TIME FOR A LITTLE BIONIC REVENGE.

AAH! WHAT THE--?

YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!

( laughter )

( laughter )

I WANT THAT TAIL!

THIS IS IT-- THE FINAL SHOWDOWN.

WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT YOU'D MAKE IT?

A 90-POUNDER LIKE YOU SHOULD HAVE EATEN IT IN ROUND TWO.

YEAH, TELL HIM!

SHUT IT, LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE!

COME ON!

( imitates air horn )

SERIOUSLY?

WILL!

TELL MY MOM I LOVE HER!

( spectators react )

( celebrating )

THAT'S IT? NO WAY!

WE'RE TOO PUMPED FOR THIS THING TO END!

I WANT MORE! MORE! MORE!

LEO!

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH ADAM?

OH, HE'S JUST A WINNER, LIKE ME.

ME AND ADAM WINNERS.

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

DID YOU GIVE HIM POWER PELLETS?

JUST ONE...

BOWL.

WHAT? TOO MANY OF THOSE PELLETS

WILL KEEP HIS ADRENALINE GOING!

IT'LL SNOWBALL, AND HE WON'T BE ABLE TO TURN HIS BIONICS OFF!

DOESN'T MATTER NOW. WE WON!

NOW, ON TO THE FINALS!

THE WHAT?

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE TRUE WINNER

OF THE DEATH SPIRAL SMACK DOWN,

SO TOMORROW WE GO MANO-A-MANO.

GENTLEMAN,

YOUR TEAMMATE IS NOW YOUR ENEMY!

I NEED TO GO ( AGAINST HIM?)

RRRAAAAHHHH!

YEP. SO YOU GO HOME AND GET YOUR REST.

I'M GONNA GO HOME AND GET MY CAMERA.

HEY, LEO, DO I SEEM A LITTLE JITTERY TO YOU?

HUH? DO I? ANSWER ME!

WELL, JITTERY, NO.

COMPLETELY MANIACAL AND FULL OF RAGE, MAYBE.

OH, I NEED TO SIT DOWN.

I'M HUNGRY! OH, I NEED SOME MORE OF THAT YUMMY CEREAL.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

NO MORE CEREAL.

WHY NOT?

BECAUSE... WE'RE OUT OF MILK.

NO WE'RE NOT.

IT'S RIGHT... HERE.

OKAY. WE'RE OUT.

HEY, IT'S THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY.

IT'S ALL THAT WAS LEFT IN THE LOST AND FOUND.

AND THE HAT?

IT'S PART OF THE ENSEMBLE.

YOU CAN'T BREAK UP THE SET!

COME ON, BREE, YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!

I NEED TO GO AGAINST ADAM TOMORROW,

AND HE'S LIKE A BIG, STRONG, GOOFY GODZILLA,

AND I'M TOKYO!

WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? JUST QUIT!

I CAN'T JUST QUIT.

THE WHOLE SCHOOL IS EXPECTING ME TO TAKE ON ADAM TOMORROW,

AND IF I QUIT, I'LL JUST BE HUMILIATED.

MORE HUMILIATED.

IF I WANTED TO LOSE, I COULD HAVE JUST

STUCK WITH GORDO AND KEPT A FRIEND.

THE PELLETS WILL WEAR OFF EVENTUALLY,

BUT UNTIL THEY DO, JUST KEEP AN EYE ON HIM

AND MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T DESTROY THE WHOLE HOUSE.

CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME PUT THIS BACK ON?

WHOEVER CLAIMED THE DRUM MAJOR UNIFORM

YESTERDAY FROM THE LOST AND FOUND,

IT'S NOT YOURS!

GIVE IT BACK!

ALL THOSE CLOTHES, AND YOU COULDN'T FIND

SOMETHING TO COVER YOUR FACE?

GO AHEAD. TRY TO HUMILIATE ME.

I HAVE 36 ITEMS OF CLOTHING ON.

WHY WOULD I TRY? YOU'RE HUMILIATING YOURSELF.

YEAH? WELL, THE TIN MAN CALLED.

HE WANTS HIS NECK BACK.

IT'S TO DEFLECT YOUR STUPID APP

FROM CONNECTING TO MY CHIP.

IT'S THE HEAVY DUTY KIND THEY USE IN RESTAURANTS.

( laughter )

LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

EVERYONE THINKS WE'RE WEIRDOES.

HEY, IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR LYING AND DITCHING ME.

I-I DIDN'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS.

KATELYN'S THE FIRST REAL FRIEND I'VE EVER HAD.

JUST 'CAUSE I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH HER

DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE YOU ANY LESS.

YEAH, WELL, I HAVE OTHER FRIENDS TOO NOW, SO...

THAT'S GREAT. I MEAN, YOU SHOULD GO HANG OUT WITH THEM SOMETIMES.

YEAH, I DON'T REALLY HAVE OTHER FRIENDS.

BUT I'M GONNA GO GET SOME.

GOOD.

OH, AND BEFORE YOU DO THAT,

YOU MIGHT WANT TO LOSE A LAYER OR TWO.

YEAH, AND YOU MIGHT WANT TO LOSE THE BAKED POTATO NECK.

SO, AS IT TURNS OUT,

ADAM IS TOO SICK TO COMPETE.

SUCH A SHAME. I GUESS THAT MEANS I'M THE WINNER.

"WINNER, PARTY OF LEO, YOUR TROPHY'S READY."

SICK? HE CAN'T BE SICK!

HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TO ANNIHILATE YOU

SO I CAN RUN YOU UP THE FLAGPOLE AND SALUTE FAILURE!

ADAM IS SO SICK, HE CAN... BARELY MOVE.

HEY, WHAT GIVES?

WHO LOCKED ME IN HERE?

( gasps ) LEO!

WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

I COULDA MISSED THE SMACK DOWN!

IT PAINS ME DEEP TO MY CORE TO SAY THIS,

BUT THE WINNER BY DEFAULT IS...

( stammering )

AHUH?

SORRY I'M LATE, PRINCIPAL PERRY.

SOMEBODY LOCKED ME IN MY CAP-- BEDROOM.

BUT I JUST HAD A GIGANTIC BOWL OF MY FAVORITE CEREAL,

SO NOW I'M READY TO COMPETE, CRUSH, AND DESTROY.

THAT'S THE DINGO SPIRIT!

BRING ON THE PAIN!

WHOO!

BUT WAIT, NO!

WE'RE LIKE BROTHERS.

OH. GOOD POINT.

UM... WELL, THEN, I GUESS I WILL CRUSH AND DESTROY YOU

AS GENTLY AS POSSIBLE WHILE STILL CRUSHING AND DESTROYING YOU.

I BOUGHT A NEW ONE! HA!

( cheers and applause )

( gasps and shrieks )

WHOO-HOO!

LET'S GO! I'M PAYING THESE PARAMEDICS BY THE HOUR!

BREAK SOMETHING ALREADY!

OHH!

HEY, HEY!

TICKLE-TICKLE!

FASTER! FASTER!

AAH! STUPID THING'S BROKEN!

( audibly exerting )

HEY!

YOU'RE NOT HELPING!

I'M NOT TRYING!

NO, NO, NO! NOT AGAIN! NOT AGAIN!

YES, YES, YES, YES!

COUNTDOWN TO LAUNCH IN TEN...

NINE... EIGHT...

SEVEN...

EIGHT! NINE!

TEN!

WAIT, STOP! MESSING ME UP!

ADAM ATE A WHOLE BOWL OF POWER PELLETS!

HE'S GONNA TURN LEO INTO A HUMAN WRECKING BALL

IF WE DON'T STOP HIM FROM FINISHING HIS COUNTDOWN!

NINETEEN!

TWENTY!

QUICK, USE YOUR OVERRIDE APP!

IT'S ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES!

THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!

TWENTY-FOUR!

TWENTY-FIVE!DAM!

( speaking woozily )

WAIT, WHY-- WHY AREN'T I DESTROYING YOU?

I... DON'T... KNOW... BUT...

WHAT I DO KNOW IS...

AAAHHHH!

I WIN!

( cheers and applause )

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

LIFE WAS SO MUCH MORE GRATIFYING

WHEN I WAS A PRISON GUARD!

HERE.

( mockingly ) CON-GRAT-U-LA-TIONS.

WAY TO GO, LEO.

I WAS SECRETLY ROOTING FOR YOU TO WIN.

YOU WERE NOT.

SURE I WAS.

I EVEN SEWED YOU THIS VICTORY CAKE

BECAUSE WHEN ONE LOSER WINS,

WE ALL GET BUMPED UP A NOTCH.

OH.

OH, RIGHT. EXACTLY.

THAT'S WHY I DID IT.

I MEAN, I HAD YOU IN MIND THE WHOLE TIME.

( cOW!g )

WATCH IT! THAT'S MY SEWING HAND!

HEY, CHASE TOLD ME ABOUT THE POWER PELLETS!

LEO, I TOLD YOU, I DIDN'T WANT TO USE BIONICS.

YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME, LEO.

I'M SORRY. I JUST-- I REALLY WANTED TO WIN.

I DIDN'T MEAN FOR IT TO HURT OUR FRIENDSHIP.

YEAH, WELL, IT DID, AND NOTHING'S GOING TO FIX IT.

YOU CAN HAVE MY VICTORY CAPE.

BUDDY!

OOH!

( imitates airplane engine )

WAIT. SO YOU CAN CONTROL WHAT I DO FROM ACROSS THE ROOM.

THE OVERRIDE APP IS PRETTY COOL, HUH?

SO YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S BEEN MAKING ME DO STUPID STUFF ALL THESE YEARS.

NO, THAT'S ALL YOU.

DON'T DO IT AGAIN.

I HAVE A HARD ENOUGH TIME CONTROLLING MYSELF.

OKAY, BUT... THAT MEANS I CAN'T EVER DO THIS.

CONNECT TO ADAM.

( whirring and plinking sounds )

OOH! MAKE ME DO THE CHICKEN DANCE!

ADAM, I DISCONNECTED.

I KNOW, BUT IT'S JUST TOO MUCH FUN!