Original subtitles

(soft futuristic music)

(waves whooshing) (birds chirping)

(dark foreboding music)

(gun blasting)

- Is that what I think it is? - Oh yes, it is.

- Aww, man. - Ta-da.

'Kay, so listen up.

Listen up.

When a stranger offers you drugs, you say thank you.

- Yes.

- You know why? - You said it.

- Because drugs are expensive.

(man laughing) - You said it.

You said it.

- Fuckin' whore.

Can you maybe not do this right fuckin' now?

- I'm done, Toby.

(soft foreboding music)

- You're ridiculous.

- I'm ridiculous?

All this is completely ridiculous.

You're just a bunch of coke heads.

You're just standing around flirting with these girls

who are standing there like trophies.

You're disgusting.

- I'm disgusting.

- Yeah, you've been high for two days

and I saw you kissing that girl.

(dark foreboding music) (waves whooshing)

You wanna know what your friend Mark said to me?

- Yeah, no.

Not really but sure.

Let's go.

- He asked if I wanted to go for a ride of a lifetime

on his joystick.

His joystick, Toby.

- Are you really gonna fuckin' do this again, right now?

Yeah, I get it.

You had a shitty childhood.

Shitty.

I had an awesome childhood.

Awesome and I don't understand

why I need to continuously apologize for that to you

and how you can just lay blame on everybody else

for your own insecurities, okay?

That's just being a shitty person.

It's fuckin' delusional, all right?

Mark Anderson never hit on you, I never kissed some girl.

All I know is that it doesn't matter where I am,

what I'm doing or who I'm with.

You end up being this jealous fuckin' psycho.

- Could you just lend me some money,

so I have somewhere else to stay for the rest of the week?

I would appreciate that.

- Seriously, that was your big plan?

You're gonna take off on me

and I'm gonna pay for your hotel room somewhere else

for the rest of the week?

- I'll pay you back as soon as I get home.

- How the fuck are you gonna do that?

You can't even afford your half of the rent.

- Anything else you wanna get off your chest?

(Toby sighing)

Can you just gimme enough money,

so I can get a cab and I'll manage?

- No.

Hitchhike, fuckin' walk for all I care.

Jade, I love you and everything, but you're fucked.

(dark foreboding music) (waves whooshing)

- Que paso?

(water splashing)

Is he breathing?

- The hell happened to him?

Jesus.

(dark foreboding music)

- So this guy thinks because he's got his face plastered

across 20 million teenagers' walls,

he can screw us over and tell our clients

to go fuck themselves 'cause he's too tired and hungover

to make it to his photo shoot.

So I ring him up and I get him on the phone and I say,

"Listen, you little bitch.

"I don't care if it's your poor mother's funeral,

"you're making it for your photo shoot."

I shit you not.

I get in the car and I rip across town

and literally kick down the door to his parent's place.

- 'Cause of course the fucker still lives with his parents.

(both laughing)

- All right, who's up to bat first?

- I got good download, so that's on you.

That's on you.

- That's on you. - C'mon, big fella.

Show 'em what you got.

- Work it, girl. - Show 'em what you got.

- Work it. - No mercy.

- Work it. - No mercy.

(men chattering)

(dark foreboding music)

- Let's do it.

(men shouting)

(men clapping)

(man laughing)

- C'mon buddy, swing it out.

- All right, check the wind and make it count.

Here we go.

Here we go, here we go.

- I want a fucking chocolate.

C'mon, c'mon.

Bring it here.

(men shouting)

- Ooh, look at this. - Look at this, look at this.

(dark foreboding music)

(waves whooshing)

- You're outta your fuckin' mind.

- Dude.

- It's 200 miles away.

On these roads, he's gonna bleed to death

before we get to the hospital.

We are not taking him there on our own.

It's a fucked up, stupid idea.

- All right, bro.

(birds chirping)

(Mike grunting)

- Hey, what's with the fuckin' attitude?

- The whatitude?

- Oh my god.

- What is the problem?

- You've been in bitchy mode

since the second we left this morning.

It's not my fault you don't know how to change the tire.

- I changed the tire.

Okay, yeah if by bitchy mode

you mean doin' everything you say

and changing all of my plans to suit you, then yeah.

Sure, I've been in bitchy mode.

I've been in bitchy mode for like five months.

- Okay see, that is exactly what I'm talking about.

You don't get to come here for free

on a trip to tropical paradise

and then whine about Darcy and his partners

like a spoiled little brat.

- When did I whine about Darcy and his partners?

- When? - When?

- Right here.

The text message to Brandon.

- Don't go into my... - "You're right, Brandon.

"I really should be more grateful

"for this amazing opportunity I get

"to spend the week with my girlfriend

"and a bunch of Hugh Hefner wannabees

"who spend their time funding plastic surgery

"and buying drinks for skinny-looking bunnies."

- Don't go in my phone.

You shouldn't go in my phone.

(birds chirping) (soft foreboding music)

- Skinny-looking bunnies, really?

- It's just lock-worth property.

- You do realize that you clean windows for a living, right?

- I do not clean windows for a living.

I own 50% of a window cleaning business, okay?

And unlike the Magnificent Six over there,

I did not get it handed to me.

I worked my ass off for this,

unlike you who has nothing working under you

except for that big ass

you're always showin' off on Instagram.

It's not a big...

You got a great ass.

Goddammit.

(Tanya sighing)

(dark foreboding music) (trunk slamming)

- It's called the A-sail-o Syndrome.

Sooner you come to terms with it, the better.

I understand you don't want to admit

you're just like your mother and I.

You're right, Jade.

You're not.

You're much worse than the both of us combined.

If jealousy was a superpower,

there'd be a whole comic book collection about you.

You can't mask the pain by dropping acid

and make it all better.

(wind whooshing)

I could hear you begging from a mile away.

- Stop it.

- "Daddy.

"Daddy, what should I do?"

Like the feint squeal of a rat.

That same annoying fucking noise you make

every time you feel betrayed.

(wind whooshing)

(birds chirping)

- So how's things goin' with Jade?

- Yeah, we're not good.

- Man, you brought sand to the beach.

When are you gonna learn your lesson?

- You're seriously gonna give me

relationship advice right now?

- Uh-huh.

All boils down to

four words:

Be more like me.

- 'Kay, there are many things that I aspire to

and none of them are becoming a manwhore.

- You say that like it's a bad thing.

- I do respect you.

I mean you're rich, you're successful.

You're always doing shit like this.

I mean you seem to sleep with a different woman every night.

No one talks down to you or tells you what to do.

- Is that really what you think my life is like?

- Yeah.

(birds chirping) (soft foreboding music)

- 'Cause it isn't.

I mean yeah, I get laid a lot.

I do have a lotta toys and cars

and helicopters and jets and threesomes and orgies.

I forget where I was goin'.

Oh yes, yes.

(chuckles) My life is way better than yours.

- Jade thinks we need help.

- What,

in quoting a paranoid... - Hey.

- Ex-girlfriend who's supposed to make me feel bad?

- She's seeing a shrink, all right?

She's tryin' to get help

and it's not like I'm gonna wait around for her to do that.

- Yeah, (speaks faintly).

- But it got me thinkin' that you know,

maybe you and I should do the same.

- It's a waste of time.

I mean do you really think that blaming dad

or talkin' to some fuckin' doll version of him

is gonna make anything better?

Forget about it.

It's just not the hand we were dealt.

Look, I won't be all like big brother on you,

but the bottom line is

we are male whores.

Deal with it.

- Wes, you dropped this.

Is that you?

Wes.

Dude.

Feel like this fell right of you, isn't it?

- Yeah, here, here.

(wind whooshing) (birds chirping)

(eerie howling)

So you're sayin' that you actually told her

that she could hitchhike or walk to the airport.

- I'm not givin' that woman another dime.

- That's spectacular.

(birds chirping) (eerie howling)

- Hey, are you seein' this?

- See what?

- Like that up there.

- What?

What am I lookin' at?

- I don't know, man.

I must be trippin'.

- I think what you did is you looked in your pants

and you realize you have an elf dick.

- Elf dick? - Elf dick.

- All right.

This is what you got goin' on in your head,

swimmin' around in there?

(Wesley groaning) (birds chirping)

- Mike, I just don't think you understand

how hard I worked for this.

- I do.

I do understand and I know how important it is to you

and I will try and enjoy it.

But next year, next year we're goin' skiing.

- (chuckles) Yeah, we're not going skiing.

- Why do you hate skiing?

- We went through this, okay?

I don't like snow and I don't think any of my followers

wanna see me wearing a ski suit, so not happening.

- Don't you just love planning your vacation

based on your girlfriend's Instagram followers, Mike?"

I do.

I do 'cause there's nothing more important to me

than a bunch of fat losers who think my girlfriend's sexy.

- Okay, you know what?

If this is your idea of humor, then you can go ahead

and get a ticket home right the fuck now.

Because out here, nobody is laughing.

(birds chirping)

'Kay, where are you going?

- I forgot something in the car.

- Okay, well hurry up.

I'll be inside.

- Sure.

(animal screeching)

(wind whooshing)

- It's gonna be okay.

- That what you told yourself nine years ago?

- Fine.

It's the drugs kickin' in.

- You're not fine and it has nothing to do with the drugs.

- I'm fine.

Just gonna relax.

It's gonna pass.

- Yeah, right.

(wind whooshing)

(gravel crunching)

(dark foreboding music)

(eerie scratching)

(eerie foreboding music)

(wind whooshing)

- I hate you.

- I know.

(siren wailing)

(birds cooing)

(doors slamming)

(siren wailing)

(dark foreboding music)

- It's not real.

It's not real.

It's not real.

(siren wailing)

- It's fucking real, Jade.

It's fucking real, Jade!

It's so fucking real!

(paramedic wincing)

(eerie howling)

(birds chirping) (flesh squishing)

(axe chopping) (leaves rustling)

(waves whooshing)

(men chattering) (eerie foreboding music)

- Work it.

Work it, girl. (shouts)

(dark foreboding music)

(man shrieking)

(motorcycle engines roaring)

(man speaking in foreign language)

(woman speaking in foreign language)

(man speaking in foreign language)

(woman speaking in foreign language)

(man speaking in foreign language)

(woman speaking in foreign language)

(man speaking in foreign language)

(eerie foreboding music)

(man speaking in foreign language)

- Gorgeous.

Look at your long, flowing hair.

I love it, the natural wind passing through it.

Beautiful.

I love it, I love it.

Yeah, keep it smiling.

Keep it up, keep it up.

Yup, smiling, laughing. (chuckles)

Ooh papi, you're so stupid.

You know, all that stuff.

Yeah, yeah, I love it.

That's good.

Hey Darc, how do you say

I think I'm in love in Spanish?

(Darcy speaking in foreign language)

(Harrison speaking in foreign language)

(women chuckling)

- You just called yourself a pig.

- That'll make a woman raise an eyebrow, Harry.

- Yeah, I guess so.

(Darcy grunting)

You fuck.

- You gentlemen hear the latest?

My little brother Toby here

just literally told his girlfriend to take a hike.

I mean literally, as in hitchhike

and walk to the fucking airport.

He fuckin' threw her out because she wouldn't stop bitchin'.

You know, my mom, she used to joke

and call him a little retard 'cause she had him in the 50s.

Well I'll tell you somethin'.

Yeah, he may be a little bit slow;

but much like us,

he'll never let anybody put a fuckin' leash around his neck.

- Good for you.

But seriously, your brother says good things about you.

The company could use some fresh blood.

How'd you like to sub in for Harrison?

We're thinkin' of gettin' rid of him.

- Yeah, you might wanna wipe that smirk off your face, pal.

Fisticuffs, huh?

- Yeah, let's go, bro.

I like it.

(wind whooshing)

- You're pathetic.

He's treating you like trash and cheating on you.

Everyone knows it.

- It's just a stupid kiss.

Barely counts as cheating, I don't care.

- Oh, but you do care.

That's all you think about.

It's in your DNA.

And in every single one

of our family's psychiatrist reports,

what did the good doctor call it?

Oh yeah, morbidly distrustful.

- You're just projecting

your own self-blame and fears onto me.

I don't care.

- Whatever helps you get out of bed in the morning.

(waves whooshing)

(glass shattering) (Toby shouting)

(dark foreboding music)

- Hey, have you seen Toby?

- Toby, Toby, Toby, Toby, Toby.

Yeah, he's a cool guy.

Not cool enough to lend you a few bucks

to get to the airport.

- Why don't you stick around?

You're much better off out here with us anyway.

- You know, I'm gonna actually prefer to walk.

Get hit by a car while I'm at it.

But thank you so much for the offer.

- (laughs maniacally) Okay muchachos,

who wants to go to town and hit up the bars, huh?

- I think the girls and I

are gonna stick around a little while longer.

- Ooh, you lucky guapas.

Darcy, Harrison, vamonos.

- Yeah, let's do it.

(man vocalizing)

(woman speaking in foreign language)

(man speaking in foreign language)

(woman speaking in foreign language)

(man speaking in foreign language)

(woman speaking in foreign language)

(birds chirping)

- To be honest, they're sayin' it really feels

like you're goin' Vin Diesel on us right about now.

- No, bro.

Look, this is basic courtesy, right?

I mean who brought them back in the first place?

Me.

- No, come on.

You're sayin' there should be ground rules

of finders keepers?

- Yes, that's exactly what I'm talkin' about.

- Cute. (chuckles)

- Anyway in that case,

I got the petite one, okay?

(dark foreboding music)

- Are we really gonna fuckin' do this again

right now?

- If jealousy was a superpower,

there'd be a whole comic book collection about you.

- That's just being a shitty person.

It's fuckin' delusional.

- Yeah, he's a cool guy.

Not cool enough to lend you a few bucks

to get to the airport.

- You end up acting like this jealous fucking psycho.

Look, I love you and everything, but you're fucked.

(woman shrieking)

(waves whooshing)

(leaves rustling)

(birds chirping)

- Seriously guys, what does Wes have that I don't?

- 'Bout a foot and a half this way

and about 80 pounds of muscle, bruh.

- Yeah, well keep talkin' like this,

I'm gonna shove a foot and a half up both your asses.

Yeah, that's right.

(both chuckling) (dark foreboding music)

- Hi.

- Hey.

- Wait, I know you.

We met before.

You're Toby Hunter's girl, right?

- Was.

You're Tanya's boyfriend.

- Yeah, I don't know.

Maybe breakups are contagious around here.

(branches snapping)

Where are you goin'?

- Hitchhiking to the airport.

- You're what, seriously?

- Yeah.

- You know that's like 400 miles away.

- Yup.

- The ferry doesn't leave 'til 8 a.m.

- Yup.

- Wait a minute.

Hey, wait up.

Hey, wait, wait.

I'll come with you.

We'll go in the morning.

We'll get the ferry,

but let's go back to the mansion for now.

- That's very lovely of you, but no thank you.

- C'mon. - I appreciate you

tryin' to help and everything,

but you are so much better off

just tryin' to patch things up with Tanya

than spending it with me, so enjoy.

- Why, what's wrong with you?

Are you into roadkill taxidermy or something?

Do you eat your own skin, chew your toenails?

That's okay.

(Jade sighing)

(dark foreboding music)

- Guys, I'm Jane Goodall right here.

- This is the coolest thing.

- Look at how he catches it, no problem.

He looks like Jerry Rice.

- Oh god, fuck.

(monkey screeching)

- Oh my god, this is great.

- Hey.

(eerie foreboding music) (sap trickling)

Goddamn, look how close we are.

- I actually just launch it right into him.

You want it?

- Little fuck, oh shit.

- Hey, you're good.

You gotta relax.

This is the best.

- It's so good. - This is the coolest thing.

- We're surrounded by monkeys right now.

(radio chattering) (birds chirping)

(eerie foreboding music)

- You guys look amazing.

- What're you doin'?

- What do you mean?

I'm filming.

What you guys, you camera shy or what?

As Roosevelt once said...

- Oh no, fuck off with your fucking quotes.

- Don't throw anything.

Dude, just hear me out for one second.

All right, guys?

As Franklin Roosevelt once said,

"There's a better life and a better world

"beyond the horizon."

Now three of us, we've known this for a very long time now

and to this day, we never cease to expand our horizons.

And I'm proud of us and I'm immortalizing the moment,

so shut up.

- All right, you bring up a good point.

I am proud of you.

I'm proud of us.

But we gotta do somethin' about Harry's shirt.

- Yeah.

Oh good, I thought I was the only one.

- No, this reflects poorly on us.

- Wow, you guys just been saving this up

the whole time, huh?

- Dude, turn it inside out or something.

- I think you need a few more holes in that thing.

(Darcy laughing)

- Bro, the chicks dig the holes, man.

It makes it look like I got shot.

- Ooh, you're a hero.

(Toby laughing)

- You guys are funny, man.

- Peter Pan's in. - Yeah, yeah.

- He'd look so hot right now.

- Bring it back.

- Come down off this rock and say that to me.

- Yeah, no I'm comin'.

Always with the fighting.

- The fuck was that?

(soft intriguiging music)

- Guys, c'mon.

Let's go.

Enough games, all right?

(soft intriguing music)

Guys, come on!

- All I know is that it doesn't matter where I am,

what I'm doing or who I'm with.

You end up being this jealous fuckin' psycho.

- If jealousy was a superpower,

there'd be a whole comic book collection about you.

- Mommy?

- Yeah, I get it.

You had a shitty childhood.

Now that you call yourself a young adult.

- Mommy.

- And I don't understand

why I need to continuously apologize for that to you

and how you can just lay blame on everybody else

for your own insecurities, okay?

That's just being a shitty person.

- I love you, mommy.

(soft foreboding music)

I love you, mommy.

(gun blasting)

- It's fuckin' delusional.

- I love you, daddy.

(young Jade speaking faintly)

(birds chirping)

- Hitchhike, fuckin' walk for all I care.

(young Jade muttering)

- Hey guys, that's far enough!

Let's go!

We're wasting valuable time here, guys.

(birds chirping)

(eerie foreboding music)

- Jade, I love you.

I do,

but you're fucked.

(gun cocking)

(gun blasting)

(dark foreboding music)

- Look at this, guys. - Guys, I think I'm in love.

- Bruh, it's like the third time in three hours.

- Well we still got all night.

- Yeah and I'm recruitin' mode, fellas.

No rest for the wicked, all right?

Just take some notes.

(wind whooshing)

- You're a fucking cunt, Jade.

Just like your mother.

I despised you when you were 12

and now the mere sight of your ugly freckled face

makes me wanna puke.

(wind whooshing)

(birds chirping)

- Hi.

- Hey.

- Wait, I know you.

We met before.

You're Toby Hunter's girl, right?

I guess my deep flirt secret

is my life is not that interesting.

I like to work, I like to travel a lot.

- Where do you work?

- I'm part owner of a window washing business.

I bought it from the old man we worked for,

me and my partner.

His sons didn't want it,

so he made us an offer we couldn't refuse.

- That's awesome.

- Yeah?

Thank you.

- Yeah, you're own boss.

That's what we all want. - Exactly.

Tanya thinks I'm so lame.

- Tanya works for people who tell her

how much to eat and what to wear.

I don't think she has much room to talk.

- So you're not a fan of models, I take it.

- They're not in my top 10.

(birds chirping)

- Mike?

- So go on, what are you so fucked up about?

You can tell me.

- I think I killed my father and now he haunts me.

- Really?

- Yup. - Why?

I'm sorry.

- It was a long time ago.

I don't really remember.

I was just a kid.

- That's a lot.

- (chuckles) Yeah.

- Do you wanna know what I think?

- Sure.

- I think you need to find a way to forgive yourself.

You were just a little kid when it happened,

so it's not your fault.

- You sure you're in the window washing business?

- Yeah.

But I also think that you can learn

something from everybody,

everybody who passes through your life,

even a lowly window washer.

- That's a load of crap.

- Yeah?

Yeah, maybe.

It's a good line though, right?

- (chuckles) It's a great line.

Nailed it.

(birds chirping)

- Guys, I'm Jane Goodall right here.

- This is the coolest thing.

- Peter Pan's in. - Yeah, yeah.

- It's so hot right now. - Bring it back.

- Come down off this rock and say that to me.

- Yeah, no I'm comin'.

(birds chirping) (soft foreboding music)

- Guys, c'mon.

Let's go.

Enough games, all right?

Hey guys, that's far enough!

Let's go!

- Harrison!

Harrison.

Harry!

(gun blasting) (dark intriguing music)

(wind whooshing)

- See, that was the wrong choice.

(birds chirping)

(intense foreboding music)

- It's over, Jade.

But that's exactly what you want.

You want to die. (chuckles)

(birds chirping)

- Let's call the cops.

- Really?

Again, we're not callin' the cops.

- I don't see another option.

- Really?

You don't see another fucking option.

Darcy, how do you think this is gonna play out?

The cops are gonna show up,

they're gonna find half a million dollars worth of candy.

What, we're all then just gonna high five?

You know, snort a few lines

and then they're gonna help us Harrison?

- What's your suggestion:

We stop lookin' and hope Harrison shows up in the morning?

- Yes.

Fuck.

- You know, I really wanna be there

when Carmen dry fucks your ass with a cactus.

(both breathing heavily)

(dark foreboding music) (waves whooshing)

- Shit! - (shrieks) Go.

(leaves rustling)

(eerie foreboding music)

(both breathing heavily)

- Okay, okay.

(eerie shrieking)

(man wincing) (dark foreboding music)

(man shrieking)

(axe chopping)

(soft intriguing music)

- Help!

Help. (winces)

Mike. (breathes heavily)

- Dude, what is goin' on here?

What the fuck?

(dark foreboding music)

What the?

(dark foreboding music)

Fuck!

(birds chirping) (eerie foreboding music)

(waves whooshing)

(grunts) You gentlemen hear the latest?

My little brother Toby here

just literally told his girlfriend to take a hike.

I mean literally,

as in hitchhike and walk to the fucking airport.

He fuckin' threw her out because she wouldn't stop bitching.

You know, my mom, she used to joke

and call him a little retard 'cause she had him in the 50s.

Well I'll tell ya somethin':

Yeah, he may be a little bit slow.

But much like us,

he'll never let anybody put a fuckin' leash around his neck.

(eerie foreboding music)

- Hey, have you seen Toby?

- Toby, Toby, Toby, Toby, Toby.

Yeah, he's a cool guy.

Not cool enough to lend you a few bucks

to get to the airport.

Why don't you stick around?

You're much better off out here with us anyway.

- You know, I'm gonna have to prefer to walk.

Get hit by a car while I'm at it.

But thank you so much for the offer.

- (laughs hysterically) Okay muchachos,

who wants to go to town and hit up the bars, huh?

- I think the girls are gonna stick around

a little while longer.

- Ooh, you lucky guapas.

(dark foreboding music) (waves whooshing)

(Howard chuckling maniacally) (birds chirping)

(Jade breathing heavily)

- (shrieks) Go.

(intense foreboding music)

Stop!

No.

No, no. (shrieks) (fist pounding)

No!

(dark intriguing music)

(both breathing heavily)

- (winces) Help.

- C'mon, c'mon, c'mon. - Go.

- C'mon.

(man wincing)

- Let's go.

(ambulance engine roaring)

(ambulance bashing)

- Goddammit.

Goddammit.

- Why'd you stop?

Don't, Mike, Mike, Mike.

Stop!

(gun blasting)

(dark foreboding music)

Mike?

Mike.

Mike!

(dark foreboding music)

Stop.

(dogs barking)

(Jade breathing heavily)

(birds chirping)

(Jade coughing)

(chains rattling)

(dog barking)

- Let's talk.

- Let's not, Howard.

Please.

- You're gonna call me dad, not Howard.

And yes, now.

You'll do whatever I tell you to do until you die.

- (breathes heavily) Is that really what you want?

- Yeah.

- I'm your daughter, doesn't that mean anything to you?

- It did, but not anymore.

I'm done crying.

Now all I want is for you to know how it feels.

(pipes clanking)

(chains rattling)

They're fucking with you, Jade.

They wanna traumatize you.

Bottom line: We all want you dead.

(eerie screeching)

(eerie clinking)

(Jade breathing heavily)

You never apologized.

You could've saved me.

- I was 12.

- You knew exactly what she was up to.

- No, I didn't.

And even if I did, what could I have done?

(eerie scratching) (Jade gasping)

- Run, Jade.

(motor rumbling)

(birds chirping) (ambulance engine roaring)

(man breathing heavily)

(man wincing)

(gravel crunching)

(man wincing)

(chains rattling)

(twig snapping)

(twig clanking)

(eerie screeching)

(eerie clinking)

(birds chirping) (Zumas cooing)

Second she closed that door, you should've said something.

"Mommy?

"Mommy, why'd you close the garage door?

"The engine's still running.

"Daddy's gonna die."

Truth is

I always knew she did it intentionally.

You couldn't do anything because you were too weak.

And guess what?

You still are.

You're gonna die, Jade.

Just like me.

Finally.

(loud banging)

(dark intriguing music)

(door squeaking) (birds chirping)

(Zuma breathing heavily)

(dark foreboding music)

(Jade shrieking) (knife stabbing)

(eerie screeching) (birds chirping)

(Jade shrieking) (foot bashing)

(dark foreboding music)

(gun blasting) (Jade wincing)

(gun blasting) (Jade coughing)

(dark intriguing music)

(man wincing)

(birds chirping)

(soft intriguing music)

(gun blasting)

I hate you.

You're pathetic.

It's in your DNA.

I despised you when you were 12.

And now the mere sight of your ugly freckled face

makes me wanna puke.

(dark foreboding music)

- A friend of mine once asked me

for relationship advice.

"What's the best way to find closure?"

Now there are three types of people I really hate:

liars, cheaters and relationship experts

who start every sentence with, "Here's my advice."

But now that I'm safe,

I feel like I've earned my seat

on the here's-my-advice-about-life.

I actually only have two things to say

and both I've learnt from someone

who could've been a great friend.

One: I really think we can learn something

from absolutely everyone that crosses our path,

no exception.

And two: Sometimes you simply have no choice.

You have to do whatever it takes

to get that annoying boyfriend or that ghost

that's been forever haunting you to shut the fuck up.

(dark intriguing music)

(soft foreboding music)