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1
00:00:08,001 --> 00:00:13,001
Sync & corrections by Costa Dax
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:17,914 --> 00:00:19,992
Oh hi, Sally.
3
00:00:20,067 --> 00:00:21,067
It's Mary.
4
00:00:23,187 --> 00:00:26,192
Well, actually I was wondering whether
5
00:00:26,267 --> 00:00:29,839
we should take the Brownies
somewhere else this weekend.
6
00:00:29,914 --> 00:00:30,999
Oh, no reason.
7
00:00:32,107 --> 00:00:34,279
No, nothing to do with work.
8
00:00:35,387 --> 00:00:36,387
Oh gosh.
9
00:00:37,481 --> 00:00:40,177
Well, anywhere really.
10
00:00:40,201 --> 00:00:43,199
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
11
00:00:45,401 --> 00:00:46,839
Shetland?
12
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:50,319
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
13
00:00:54,441 --> 00:00:57,479
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
14
00:00:58,987 --> 00:01:00,992
And in short, that's why I have to sleep
15
00:01:01,067 --> 00:01:02,239
completely naked.
16
00:01:04,347 --> 00:01:05,952
Well, that's good to know.
17
00:01:06,027 --> 00:01:07,363
Okay, so just to remind everyone,
18
00:01:07,387 --> 00:01:08,919
we're still on Amber alert following
19
00:01:08,994 --> 00:01:10,272
the poisoned water attacks
20
00:01:10,347 --> 00:01:12,192
that took place in
Paris over the weekend.
21
00:01:12,267 --> 00:01:13,312
How far is Paris?
22
00:01:13,387 --> 00:01:15,466
Aside from Paris, what
else is going on, Joseph?
23
00:01:15,467 --> 00:01:16,872
Do we have a systems update?
24
00:01:16,947 --> 00:01:18,592
Yes, not great I'm afraid.
25
00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:20,667
Tuva's already looking into
who might be behind it.
26
00:01:20,691 --> 00:01:22,972
But we had an attack on one
of our own servers last night.
27
00:01:22,973 --> 00:01:24,452
- Oh, fucking tense!
- I know.
28
00:01:24,527 --> 00:01:25,952
When exactly did it happen?
29
00:01:26,027 --> 00:01:28,097
- [ALARM BLARING]
- No!
30
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:29,321
[INTERCOM] Attention please.
31
00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:30,322
This is a test.
32
00:01:30,354 --> 00:01:32,872
Please take no action.
33
00:01:32,947 --> 00:01:34,187
What on earth are you doing?
34
00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:35,227
Sorry.
35
00:01:36,381 --> 00:01:39,232
I still get PTSD from
my time in Afghanistan.
36
00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:40,627
You never served in Afghanistan.
37
00:01:40,628 --> 00:01:42,139
Yeah, I know.
38
00:01:42,187 --> 00:01:44,123
But the drone footage I
saw was very realistic.
39
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:45,552
How much data was compromised?
40
00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:47,592
Yeah, it may sound insulting really.
41
00:01:47,667 --> 00:01:50,177
Macedites from the middle server.
42
00:01:50,201 --> 00:01:51,681
They did manage to capture a tiny bit
43
00:01:51,682 --> 00:01:53,407
of Mary's Internet
browsing history, sadly.
44
00:01:53,465 --> 00:01:54,665
Oh no.
45
00:01:54,741 --> 00:01:56,461
Please tell me none
of that was sensitive.
46
00:01:56,462 --> 00:01:57,634
No, apart from
47
00:01:59,107 --> 00:02:02,152
I have been looking
online for a new bra.
48
00:02:02,227 --> 00:02:03,279
Really, what type?
49
00:02:03,354 --> 00:02:05,072
Just a brown one.
50
00:02:05,147 --> 00:02:06,147
Yeah baby.
51
00:02:06,187 --> 00:02:07,392
Found him.
52
00:02:07,467 --> 00:02:08,512
This is our hacker.
53
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:11,199
[INTENSE MUSIC]
54
00:02:15,081 --> 00:02:16,177
- Fuck me.
- Oh my gosh.
55
00:02:16,201 --> 00:02:17,912
Gosh, what a dick.
56
00:02:17,987 --> 00:02:20,083
Sorry, Jerry, do you mind
using less bad language?
57
00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:21,107
Seriously?
58
00:02:21,966 --> 00:02:23,266
Shit is fine thought, isn't it?
59
00:02:23,267 --> 00:02:24,537
Now I say shit all the time.
60
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:25,681
No you just talk shit.
61
00:02:25,747 --> 00:02:27,177
There's a difference.
62
00:02:27,201 --> 00:02:28,432
Oh yeah!
63
00:02:28,507 --> 00:02:29,632
[LAUGHTER]
64
00:02:29,707 --> 00:02:31,512
- No, you have to let go.
- Sorry.
65
00:02:31,587 --> 00:02:32,610
This guy is good.
66
00:02:32,634 --> 00:02:34,632
He once hacked the NSA database.
67
00:02:34,707 --> 00:02:36,519
NSA database, really?
68
00:02:37,947 --> 00:02:39,952
You know maybe we should
bring this guy in.
69
00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:41,066
Make him part of the team.
70
00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:42,112
Absolutely not.
71
00:02:42,187 --> 00:02:43,432
I'm serious.
72
00:02:43,507 --> 00:02:45,872
I mean Tuva used to be a hacker, right?
73
00:02:45,947 --> 00:02:48,072
I don't know if I appreciate
the term hacker
74
00:02:48,147 --> 00:02:50,232
because I'm also a singer.
75
00:02:50,307 --> 00:02:52,352
The only reason Tuva is here
76
00:02:52,427 --> 00:02:54,667
is because she made a bargaining
plea with the government
77
00:02:54,668 --> 00:02:57,617
in exchange for some
highly sensitive intel.
78
00:02:57,641 --> 00:02:59,072
Please don't say...
79
00:02:59,147 --> 00:03:00,507
It was about the Brexit campaign.
80
00:03:00,508 --> 00:03:02,352
What that was about.
81
00:03:02,427 --> 00:03:05,072
My point is we should
keep our enemies close.
82
00:03:05,147 --> 00:03:06,872
Surely we can agree on that.
83
00:03:06,947 --> 00:03:09,072
Look, give me 48 hours with him.
84
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,352
If it doesn't work out,
85
00:03:10,427 --> 00:03:12,639
I'm willing to take the hit on this.
86
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,119
Fine.
87
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,992
- Really?
- Why not?
88
00:03:16,067 --> 00:03:18,912
I have complete faith in you.
89
00:03:18,987 --> 00:03:22,592
Ah, looks like I'm
finally rubbing you off
90
00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:23,667
on me.
91
00:03:24,427 --> 00:03:26,072
- Finally...
- Rubbing off on you.
92
00:03:26,147 --> 00:03:27,872
- Rubbing?
- Rubbing off on you.
93
00:03:27,947 --> 00:03:29,692
- I'm finally...
- Yes.
94
00:03:29,767 --> 00:03:31,693
- Rubbing off on you.
- Yes, that's the saying.
95
00:03:31,694 --> 00:03:33,392
- You're rubbing off on me.
- You wish.
96
00:03:33,467 --> 00:03:35,112
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
97
00:03:35,187 --> 00:03:36,417
Oh, one final thing.
98
00:03:36,441 --> 00:03:38,483
Barnaby Bailer will be
delivering his seminar
99
00:03:38,507 --> 00:03:40,912
on the politics of cyber
security this week
100
00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,032
- to which you're all invited.
- Bailer?
101
00:03:43,107 --> 00:03:44,512
The Middle East attaché?
102
00:03:44,587 --> 00:03:45,952
I love that guy!
103
00:03:46,027 --> 00:03:48,152
He and I used to make
these cupcakes together
104
00:03:48,227 --> 00:03:50,399
when he was over for 9/11.
105
00:03:51,987 --> 00:03:53,550
Who's running his protection detail?
106
00:03:53,574 --> 00:03:55,574
'Cause last time got pretty rowdy.
107
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,066
Oh, I'm sure his people will run it
108
00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:58,937
given his somewhat contentious legacy.
109
00:03:58,961 --> 00:04:01,003
Well, I'll pop down
there just to be sure.
110
00:04:01,027 --> 00:04:02,392
Know what I'm saying?
111
00:04:02,467 --> 00:04:04,672
I can't hear you.
112
00:04:04,747 --> 00:04:06,632
Just in case it should come up,
113
00:04:06,707 --> 00:04:09,632
I actually used to date Barnaby Bailer.
114
00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:10,992
What the fuck?
115
00:04:11,067 --> 00:04:12,365
Jerry, please.
116
00:04:12,441 --> 00:04:14,177
When we were in university together.
117
00:04:14,201 --> 00:04:16,250
I don't suspect he'll
remember me, though.
118
00:04:16,274 --> 00:04:18,472
It was all, you know, very brief.
119
00:04:18,547 --> 00:04:21,592
What, like in a premature
ejaculation kind of way?
120
00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:24,039
Sorry, I really don't know what that is.
121
00:04:24,114 --> 00:04:25,563
Well, I'm sure Joseph can show you.
122
00:04:25,587 --> 00:04:27,879
[LAUGHING]
123
00:04:30,234 --> 00:04:31,479
Well, what is it?
124
00:04:33,354 --> 00:04:34,552
Jerry?
125
00:04:34,627 --> 00:04:36,147
I don't know, should we look it up?
126
00:04:42,226 --> 00:04:44,032
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
127
00:04:44,107 --> 00:04:46,479
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
128
00:04:51,107 --> 00:04:52,427
My contact at the NSA has agreed
129
00:04:52,428 --> 00:04:54,159
to let me view Jerry's internal file.
130
00:04:54,234 --> 00:04:56,017
Can you save it onto the private server?
131
00:04:56,041 --> 00:04:57,432
It's important.
132
00:04:57,507 --> 00:05:00,232
Sure, do you want an ice cream?
133
00:05:00,307 --> 00:05:03,152
Did you get anything I just said?
134
00:05:03,227 --> 00:05:04,227
No.
135
00:05:06,547 --> 00:05:09,559
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
136
00:05:12,547 --> 00:05:14,712
Is everything okay?
137
00:05:14,787 --> 00:05:17,752
Yeah, I don't know where
Jerry got to, that's all.
138
00:05:17,827 --> 00:05:21,232
Oh, he and I usually have
a coffee around this time.
139
00:05:21,307 --> 00:05:25,432
Well, I'd bring him a coffee
and just watch him drink it.
140
00:05:25,507 --> 00:05:27,057
Thanks Mary.
141
00:05:27,081 --> 00:05:28,112
[GASPING]
142
00:05:28,187 --> 00:05:29,672
Oh, Quentin.
143
00:05:29,747 --> 00:05:30,747
Hello.
144
00:05:32,227 --> 00:05:35,512
Sorry, I picked up mom's glasses
by accident this morning.
145
00:05:35,587 --> 00:05:37,457
I thought you said you couldn't see.
146
00:05:37,481 --> 00:05:39,999
Oh well, she can't at night.
147
00:05:41,434 --> 00:05:43,577
What are you up to this evening?
148
00:05:43,601 --> 00:05:48,079
Well, I usually help mom with
her bath on Wednesdays.
149
00:05:49,574 --> 00:05:52,672
Let me know if I can ever be of service.
150
00:05:52,747 --> 00:05:55,632
Oh, I don't think mom would like that.
151
00:05:55,707 --> 00:05:58,592
She wouldn't know if she can't see.
152
00:05:58,667 --> 00:06:02,352
She would know if there
were four hands in the bath.
153
00:06:02,427 --> 00:06:03,427
Yes.
154
00:06:05,547 --> 00:06:07,472
Half an octopus.
155
00:06:07,547 --> 00:06:08,547
Yes.
156
00:06:11,266 --> 00:06:12,266
See you later.
157
00:06:12,267 --> 00:06:13,267
Okay.
158
00:06:16,826 --> 00:06:17,946
So I thought I'd start out
159
00:06:17,947 --> 00:06:19,439
by giving you like a quick tour
160
00:06:19,514 --> 00:06:20,719
and then I don't know.
161
00:06:20,794 --> 00:06:23,192
Probably just hang out, grab a drink.
162
00:06:23,267 --> 00:06:24,497
Maybe some tail.
163
00:06:24,521 --> 00:06:26,632
Guys, this is Tom.
164
00:06:26,707 --> 00:06:28,747
He's the one that hacked
our server the other night.
165
00:06:28,748 --> 00:06:30,512
- [GROUP] Hey Tom.
- Hi.
166
00:06:30,587 --> 00:06:31,992
This is Mary.
167
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:34,352
Mary's been with GCHQ
from the beginning.
168
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:35,657
When was it founded, Mary?
169
00:06:35,681 --> 00:06:36,681
1919.
170
00:06:37,546 --> 00:06:38,546
Right, so then.
171
00:06:38,547 --> 00:06:40,472
Well, not quite.
172
00:06:40,547 --> 00:06:42,399
I'm actually a lot younger than I look.
173
00:06:42,474 --> 00:06:44,032
Really, by how much?
174
00:06:44,107 --> 00:06:46,672
Gosh, no one's ever
asked me that before.
175
00:06:46,747 --> 00:06:49,352
Plus she's absolutely filthy,
you know what I mean?
176
00:06:49,427 --> 00:06:50,672
The mouth on her.
177
00:06:50,747 --> 00:06:52,112
This is Tuva.
178
00:06:52,187 --> 00:06:53,563
What'd you get up to this weekend?
179
00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:55,272
Not much.
180
00:06:55,347 --> 00:06:57,523
I just went to a club, got
with couple of salty jerks.
181
00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:58,839
Your accent's really fresh.
182
00:06:58,914 --> 00:06:59,992
Who is not to use it?
183
00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:01,312
It's a mix.
184
00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:03,559
So you hacked the GCHQ server?
185
00:07:03,634 --> 00:07:05,072
Yep.
186
00:07:05,147 --> 00:07:08,072
I don't know whether to
be impressed, annoyed
187
00:07:08,147 --> 00:07:09,147
or aroused.
188
00:07:10,387 --> 00:07:11,387
Probably annoyed.
189
00:07:11,394 --> 00:07:13,003
- Annoyed.
- Aroused.
190
00:07:13,027 --> 00:07:15,257
I could sell the
sprinters off if you like.
191
00:07:15,281 --> 00:07:16,697
Hey Tom, this is Joseph.
192
00:07:16,721 --> 00:07:17,881
Yeah I'm sorry, I'm Joseph.
193
00:07:17,882 --> 00:07:19,732
How are you? I'm actually
Jerry's best friend.
194
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:21,352
- PA.
- Sorry, no, you go.
195
00:07:21,427 --> 00:07:23,272
Colleague.
196
00:07:23,347 --> 00:07:24,627
Do you always dress like that?
197
00:07:24,628 --> 00:07:25,628
Yes, why?
198
00:07:27,107 --> 00:07:28,585
No, that's cool.
199
00:07:28,661 --> 00:07:30,781
I was just wondering if it
was for a bet or something.
200
00:07:30,782 --> 00:07:33,112
I can't even tell if he's joking.
201
00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:35,272
Are you joking?
202
00:07:35,347 --> 00:07:38,672
[UPBEAT JAZZY MUSIC]
203
00:07:38,747 --> 00:07:39,787
Do you work out?
204
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:42,512
'Cause your traps are amazing.
205
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:45,039
No, just came out like this.
206
00:07:47,307 --> 00:07:48,723
Let me introduce you to Christine.
207
00:07:48,747 --> 00:07:52,359
She's like the scary
Mary Poppins of the team.
208
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:56,752
He seems nice.
209
00:07:56,827 --> 00:07:59,072
I just think he finds me
a little bit intimidating,
210
00:07:59,147 --> 00:08:00,752
which is a shame really.
211
00:08:00,827 --> 00:08:03,112
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
212
00:08:03,186 --> 00:08:04,506
You know, he's hiding something,
213
00:08:04,507 --> 00:08:05,632
I'm sure of it.
214
00:08:05,707 --> 00:08:07,352
Our hands are tied, Chris.
215
00:08:07,427 --> 00:08:09,072
Sorry.
216
00:08:09,147 --> 00:08:12,312
Whitehall don't want us
digging around about Jerry.
217
00:08:12,387 --> 00:08:14,272
What's that noise?
218
00:08:14,347 --> 00:08:16,432
Are you still on the Anthrax case?
219
00:08:16,507 --> 00:08:18,112
Sort of.
220
00:08:18,187 --> 00:08:19,712
Phantom of the Opera, Damascus.
221
00:08:19,787 --> 00:08:21,392
It's just starting.
222
00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:23,519
[BEEPING]
223
00:08:28,387 --> 00:08:30,352
[TECHNO BEEPING]
224
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,003
Well hey, just out of interest.
225
00:08:32,027 --> 00:08:33,672
Is it possible for someone like you
226
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,672
to hack into say, I don't know,
227
00:08:36,747 --> 00:08:39,039
the NSA database?
228
00:08:39,114 --> 00:08:41,872
Have a look around, delete the odd file?
229
00:08:41,947 --> 00:08:43,332
You know someone's actually trying
230
00:08:43,407 --> 00:08:45,472
to access your file right now.
231
00:08:45,547 --> 00:08:47,152
What?
232
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,992
Oh, that's uh, yeah.
233
00:08:49,067 --> 00:08:51,257
Can you abort that transfer?
234
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,319
Just for fun?
235
00:08:53,587 --> 00:08:55,359
Yeah, I can just do,
236
00:08:56,426 --> 00:08:57,426
aborted.
237
00:08:57,427 --> 00:08:59,479
[BEEPING]
238
00:09:01,627 --> 00:09:04,592
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
239
00:09:04,667 --> 00:09:07,039
- Uh...
- What's happening?
240
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,080
It's uploading again.
241
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,081
What the?
242
00:09:10,427 --> 00:09:12,163
I could just permanently
delete the file.
243
00:09:12,187 --> 00:09:16,032
I would love to see
what that looks like.
244
00:09:16,107 --> 00:09:18,072
[SNIFFS]
245
00:09:18,147 --> 00:09:20,272
I love your cologne, by the way.
246
00:09:20,347 --> 00:09:22,937
I'm not wearing any.
247
00:09:22,961 --> 00:09:24,112
Still.
248
00:09:24,187 --> 00:09:25,192
[MAN] Done.
249
00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:28,199
[UPBEAT JAZZY MUSIC]
250
00:09:45,346 --> 00:09:46,346
Jerry.
251
00:09:46,347 --> 00:09:47,592
Yeah?
252
00:09:47,667 --> 00:09:49,457
Should I clean up your browsing history?
253
00:09:49,481 --> 00:09:51,039
Yeah, please.
254
00:09:51,114 --> 00:09:52,992
That would be great.
255
00:09:53,067 --> 00:09:54,992
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
256
00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:56,552
I'll be back.
257
00:09:56,627 --> 00:09:57,897
- Hey.
- Hey man.
258
00:09:57,921 --> 00:09:59,746
I just wondered if you would fancy
259
00:09:59,747 --> 00:10:01,112
going to the canteen together.
260
00:10:01,147 --> 00:10:02,667
I do know that curly sausage you like.
261
00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:04,072
Oh man, I'd love to but actually
262
00:10:04,147 --> 00:10:06,639
Tom and I are going
out for T-bones later.
263
00:10:06,714 --> 00:10:08,119
Tonight?
264
00:10:08,154 --> 00:10:09,514
Oh, 'cause I'm not doing anything.
265
00:10:09,515 --> 00:10:11,192
You know, I look at this guy
266
00:10:11,267 --> 00:10:14,192
and I can't help but
think about that saying,
267
00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:16,952
you hang around with
chickens, you cluck.
268
00:10:17,027 --> 00:10:19,919
You hang around with eagles, you fly.
269
00:10:20,807 --> 00:10:22,913
Yeah, I know but the main
thing with eagles though
270
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,679
is that they all have
mental health problems.
271
00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:25,959
[TOM] All done.
272
00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:29,152
- So when is actually...
- Excuse me.
273
00:10:29,227 --> 00:10:30,439
Yeah, thank you.
274
00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:34,279
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
275
00:10:35,587 --> 00:10:37,959
Dude, seriously, how
do you stay in shape?
276
00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:39,672
Well, I used to be a gymnast
277
00:10:39,747 --> 00:10:41,392
but I just got too big.
278
00:10:41,467 --> 00:10:43,152
Yeah, I know, me too.
279
00:10:43,227 --> 00:10:44,439
So what kind of stuff?
280
00:10:44,514 --> 00:10:46,352
I mean, can you show me something?
281
00:10:46,427 --> 00:10:48,112
- It's been a while.
- Come on man.
282
00:10:48,187 --> 00:10:50,057
- I'm out of practice.
- Come on.
283
00:10:50,081 --> 00:10:51,152
Oh, hey guys.
284
00:10:51,227 --> 00:10:52,312
Come on yeah!
285
00:10:52,387 --> 00:10:53,919
Okay, watch this.
286
00:10:57,267 --> 00:10:58,457
[GASPING]
287
00:10:58,481 --> 00:10:59,519
Oh!
288
00:10:59,594 --> 00:11:01,759
Wow, what the fuck!
289
00:11:01,993 --> 00:11:02,993
That was great.
290
00:11:02,994 --> 00:11:04,092
That was...
291
00:11:04,167 --> 00:11:05,550
- Did you see that?
- Yeah, I did.
292
00:11:05,574 --> 00:11:07,934
Well, I used to do that all the
time when I was in gym club.
293
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,057
What, you were a gymnast?
294
00:11:09,081 --> 00:11:11,083
Oh, it was mostly combat
rolls, that kind of thing.
295
00:11:11,158 --> 00:11:12,672
What's combat roll?
296
00:11:12,747 --> 00:11:13,987
Oh well, hang on let me just,
297
00:11:13,988 --> 00:11:16,713
I just need a bit of
space to... Thank you.
298
00:11:18,514 --> 00:11:19,959
It's sort of like,
299
00:11:23,187 --> 00:11:26,439
get your leg over sort of like this.
300
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,523
You paid someone to teach you that?
301
00:11:29,547 --> 00:11:30,547
Yeah.
302
00:11:32,347 --> 00:11:34,387
Isn't that just a teddy bear roll?
303
00:11:34,434 --> 00:11:35,512
Yeah, combat roll.
304
00:11:35,587 --> 00:11:38,417
But we used to practice a lot more
complicated stuff in my bedroom.
305
00:11:38,441 --> 00:11:39,872
[MEN] Like what?
306
00:11:39,947 --> 00:11:41,380
Oh, I can't really demonstrate here
307
00:11:41,381 --> 00:11:43,432
because it's not the space,
and it's not the height?
308
00:11:43,507 --> 00:11:45,357
- For you?
- Come on. I just can't really.
309
00:11:45,381 --> 00:11:47,039
I'm not warmed up.
310
00:11:47,114 --> 00:11:49,279
Joseph, Joseph, Joseph, Joseph!
311
00:11:51,081 --> 00:11:52,081
Okay, okay!
312
00:11:52,147 --> 00:11:53,999
Joseph, Joseph, Joseph!
313
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,752
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
314
00:11:59,827 --> 00:12:02,199
[SCREAMING]
315
00:12:05,786 --> 00:12:06,786
You hungry?
316
00:12:06,787 --> 00:12:07,999
I could eat.
317
00:12:23,747 --> 00:12:26,039
[LAUGHING]
318
00:12:27,147 --> 00:12:28,392
Oh man!
319
00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:30,201
- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- Yeah?
320
00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:33,672
[JOSEPH] Hey.
321
00:12:33,747 --> 00:12:35,552
Hey, what the fuck?
322
00:12:35,627 --> 00:12:37,432
Is everything okay?
323
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:38,792
Yeah, why?
324
00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:40,592
You know I got tased, right?
325
00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:42,027
No I know that, but what are you,
326
00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:43,240
what happened?
327
00:12:44,307 --> 00:12:45,657
Just fancied a change.
328
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,137
What, from man to woman?
329
00:12:47,161 --> 00:12:48,617
What'd you do to your hair?
330
00:12:48,641 --> 00:12:50,737
- I wanted to make it blonde.
- No.
331
00:12:50,761 --> 00:12:52,192
No?
332
00:12:52,267 --> 00:12:54,672
No, that would never work
with someone of your coloring.
333
00:12:54,747 --> 00:12:57,392
And you end up looking like a bee.
334
00:12:57,467 --> 00:12:58,467
Buddy.
335
00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:03,232
So have you... you're
finished with Tom now.
336
00:13:03,307 --> 00:13:05,792
Is he gone back, where is he?
337
00:13:05,867 --> 00:13:07,472
He'll be in later this afternoon.
338
00:13:07,547 --> 00:13:09,712
We got totally shit faced last night.
339
00:13:09,787 --> 00:13:12,039
[GIGGLING]
340
00:13:15,227 --> 00:13:17,272
- What's up?
- Oh, nothing.
341
00:13:17,347 --> 00:13:19,577
Wait, wait a minute.
342
00:13:19,601 --> 00:13:21,712
Dude, is this because of Tom?
343
00:13:21,787 --> 00:13:24,111
[LAUGHS]
344
00:13:24,112 --> 00:13:25,152
No.
345
00:13:25,227 --> 00:13:27,352
Listen, you need to relax
346
00:13:27,427 --> 00:13:29,352
and just be your own man.
347
00:13:29,427 --> 00:13:31,032
Okay, you do you.
348
00:13:31,106 --> 00:13:32,626
That's the coolest thing you could do.
349
00:13:32,627 --> 00:13:34,272
- Yeah.
- Okay?
350
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:35,347
Yeah.
351
00:13:36,187 --> 00:13:37,552
Well yeah, just as long as
352
00:13:37,627 --> 00:13:39,119
you and I get to...
353
00:13:40,147 --> 00:13:41,147
What?
354
00:13:41,181 --> 00:13:43,352
Well, you know, remain...
355
00:13:43,427 --> 00:13:45,552
Oh, what like this?
356
00:13:45,627 --> 00:13:47,032
Yeah.
357
00:13:47,107 --> 00:13:49,672
Yeah, no this will never change.
358
00:13:49,747 --> 00:13:52,119
All right, thank you, good.
359
00:13:55,347 --> 00:13:56,587
So what are you doing tonight?
360
00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:58,581
Do you want to go out to
the cinema or something?
361
00:13:58,582 --> 00:14:00,920
No, I'm out again tonight with Tom.
362
00:14:02,627 --> 00:14:05,272
So when was the last
time you saw Barnaby?
363
00:14:05,347 --> 00:14:07,719
Gosh, maybe 40 years ago now.
364
00:14:09,747 --> 00:14:12,152
I still think about him
every day, though.
365
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:16,352
Can I ask, are you still a virgin?
366
00:14:16,427 --> 00:14:17,427
Oh, yes,
367
00:14:19,347 --> 00:14:21,199
but only fairly recently.
368
00:14:22,794 --> 00:14:27,232
And when was the last
time you washed your wig?
369
00:14:27,307 --> 00:14:28,559
It's not a wig.
370
00:14:30,427 --> 00:14:31,427
Tommy, hey.
371
00:14:37,104 --> 00:14:38,704
So listen, I was just thinking of having
372
00:14:38,705 --> 00:14:39,721
some birthday drinks.
373
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:41,159
I can't, I'm sorry.
374
00:14:41,234 --> 00:14:42,472
No, it's not tonight.
375
00:14:42,547 --> 00:14:43,932
Sorry, I should have been clearer.
376
00:14:44,007 --> 00:14:46,207
I know you and Jerry got a
thing tonight, which is fine.
377
00:14:46,267 --> 00:14:48,832
No, I just mean in general.
I probably can't make it.
378
00:14:48,907 --> 00:14:51,352
Well, that's cool. That's cool.
379
00:14:51,427 --> 00:14:52,667
I'm not really flexible anyway.
380
00:14:52,668 --> 00:14:54,512
I'm booked anyway 'cause yeah.
381
00:14:54,587 --> 00:14:55,759
Just let me know.
382
00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:57,999
I am letting you know.
383
00:14:58,074 --> 00:14:59,832
I can't make it.
384
00:14:59,907 --> 00:15:01,490
Well, let's not rule anything out.
385
00:15:01,514 --> 00:15:03,403
I mean it's not for eight months, Tom.
386
00:15:03,427 --> 00:15:05,032
Okay, I want you guys here.
387
00:15:05,107 --> 00:15:08,392
Here, here, here, and here throughout.
388
00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:09,712
Got it?
389
00:15:09,787 --> 00:15:11,170
Also, I'm gonna need you to clear
390
00:15:11,194 --> 00:15:12,834
a little more space
over here just in case
391
00:15:12,835 --> 00:15:14,759
I need to do karate.
392
00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:16,712
I had a bodyguard buddy
393
00:15:16,787 --> 00:15:19,752
who lost his job because
there wasn't enough space
394
00:15:19,827 --> 00:15:22,072
for him to do karate at a key moment.
395
00:15:22,147 --> 00:15:23,163
All right, back up a bit.
396
00:15:23,187 --> 00:15:24,537
Little more, little more.
397
00:15:24,561 --> 00:15:27,057
[GRUNTS]
398
00:15:27,081 --> 00:15:29,201
Yeah, another two or three
feet, right over there.
399
00:15:29,227 --> 00:15:32,319
So, are there any areas
you'd like me to accentuate?
400
00:15:32,394 --> 00:15:33,394
Oh well.
401
00:15:34,307 --> 00:15:36,279
The vicar at church,
402
00:15:36,354 --> 00:15:39,152
he always says that I
have lovely cheek bones.
403
00:15:39,227 --> 00:15:41,632
My only worry is that if I
bring those out any more,
404
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:44,152
you're going to look like
a skull on a broomstick.
405
00:15:44,227 --> 00:15:45,227
Right.
406
00:15:46,347 --> 00:15:47,347
Cigarette?
407
00:15:48,627 --> 00:15:50,079
Yeah, all right.
408
00:16:05,561 --> 00:16:06,639
Go on ahead.
409
00:16:08,747 --> 00:16:10,239
I'll have this one.
410
00:16:12,761 --> 00:16:14,279
You got a light?
411
00:16:17,107 --> 00:16:19,217
Are you still lighting your cigarettes?
412
00:16:19,241 --> 00:16:20,479
I just chew mine.
413
00:16:49,674 --> 00:16:50,674
Lips?
414
00:16:50,707 --> 00:16:52,312
Oh, yes please.
415
00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:55,032
I'd really like him to tight up lips.
416
00:16:55,107 --> 00:16:57,032
I'd go for bright pink.
417
00:16:57,107 --> 00:16:58,867
If it's the first time
you've seen each other
418
00:16:58,868 --> 00:17:00,266
in a while,
419
00:17:00,307 --> 00:17:02,759
then you want your lips to look like a,
420
00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:04,312
cat's butt hole.
421
00:17:04,387 --> 00:17:05,387
Oh.
422
00:17:08,107 --> 00:17:10,272
And do lots of men find that attractive?
423
00:17:10,347 --> 00:17:11,552
No.
424
00:17:11,627 --> 00:17:13,352
But, Barnaby will.
425
00:17:13,427 --> 00:17:14,427
Let's start.
426
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:16,360
Guest list.
427
00:17:16,361 --> 00:17:18,759
[JAZZY MUSIC]
428
00:17:21,427 --> 00:17:23,323
No, the whole thing needs to be redone.
429
00:17:23,347 --> 00:17:24,667
If I can't pronounce a last name,
430
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:25,707
I want them off the list.
431
00:17:25,714 --> 00:17:26,714
Woo, ha, ha.
432
00:17:28,227 --> 00:17:29,319
Good.
433
00:17:29,394 --> 00:17:30,394
Good.
434
00:17:33,707 --> 00:17:34,707
Oh wow.
435
00:17:35,707 --> 00:17:37,119
Ow!
436
00:17:37,194 --> 00:17:38,737
Did you do that piercing yourself?
437
00:17:38,761 --> 00:17:39,761
No,
438
00:17:40,721 --> 00:17:42,432
I just slept awkwardly.
439
00:17:42,507 --> 00:17:44,612
I actually see a bit of blood, though.
440
00:17:44,687 --> 00:17:45,712
Are you coming?
441
00:17:45,787 --> 00:17:47,652
Oh no, I think me and
Tom are just gonna hang.
442
00:17:47,727 --> 00:17:48,737
Cool.
443
00:17:48,761 --> 00:17:51,032
No, where are you going?
444
00:17:51,107 --> 00:17:52,552
To the Barnaby Bailer thing.
445
00:17:52,627 --> 00:17:54,512
Barnaby Bailer's here?
446
00:17:54,587 --> 00:17:55,832
Politician?
447
00:17:55,907 --> 00:17:58,257
Yeah, I know, what a fucking nickhead.
448
00:17:58,281 --> 00:17:59,657
I should go.
449
00:17:59,681 --> 00:18:01,337
- Be fun.
- That's what I meant.
450
00:18:01,361 --> 00:18:02,432
Be fun.
451
00:18:02,507 --> 00:18:03,879
Should go.
452
00:18:06,227 --> 00:18:08,399
I need you in that corner.
453
00:18:10,307 --> 00:18:12,265
- Bailer!
- Hi.
454
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:13,432
Jerry Bernstein, NSA.
455
00:18:13,507 --> 00:18:15,192
We did 9/11 together.
456
00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:16,592
Can I get you a little cupcake?
457
00:18:16,667 --> 00:18:18,639
You fucking maniac?
458
00:18:18,714 --> 00:18:20,832
I'd love a glass of milk, please.
459
00:18:20,907 --> 00:18:23,592
Right, can someone get
Barnaby a glass of milk?
460
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:24,757
Hi, Barnaby.
461
00:18:24,781 --> 00:18:27,262
Would you mind just taking a
quick pic, for our social media?
462
00:18:27,287 --> 00:18:28,287
No, of course not.
463
00:18:28,347 --> 00:18:30,193
- Would you like me in it again?
- No, of course not.
464
00:18:30,194 --> 00:18:31,403
You know, let me do this.
465
00:18:31,427 --> 00:18:33,472
I'm really good at wildlife photography.
466
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,352
How do you? Right.
467
00:18:35,427 --> 00:18:36,559
Okay, one, two,
468
00:18:37,914 --> 00:18:39,432
Chris, you may wanna try to smile.
469
00:18:39,507 --> 00:18:41,283
You know just imagine
there's been an attack
470
00:18:41,307 --> 00:18:42,319
on U.S. soil.
471
00:18:45,147 --> 00:18:46,459
Still no good.
472
00:18:46,534 --> 00:18:47,923
Why don't we sex this up a little.
473
00:18:47,947 --> 00:18:49,712
Tom, leave that, come here!
474
00:18:49,787 --> 00:18:51,232
Throw your arm around Bailer, yeah.
475
00:18:51,307 --> 00:18:53,467
Oh this is, yeah, this
is better right away.
476
00:18:53,514 --> 00:18:54,952
- Here we go.
- Sorry Jerry.
477
00:18:55,027 --> 00:18:56,210
Hi, I'm Barnaby Joseph Harry.
478
00:18:56,234 --> 00:18:57,706
I'm not sure if your concerned about
479
00:18:57,707 --> 00:18:58,867
having a natural mouth shape.
480
00:18:58,891 --> 00:19:00,091
But if you say wagamama a lot,
481
00:19:00,092 --> 00:19:02,433
it gives you a very kind of honest look.
482
00:19:02,507 --> 00:19:03,547
Shall we try that?
483
00:19:03,587 --> 00:19:05,432
One, two, three.
484
00:19:05,507 --> 00:19:07,119
[GROUP] Wagamama.
485
00:19:07,194 --> 00:19:08,523
I've actually never been to one.
486
00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:09,552
Oh, it's really great.
487
00:19:09,627 --> 00:19:12,027
The only thing is the food
always arrives at different times.
488
00:19:12,028 --> 00:19:13,359
- Why?
- No one knows.
489
00:19:13,434 --> 00:19:14,594
Chris, take a look at this.
490
00:19:14,595 --> 00:19:15,680
I think it's terrific.
491
00:19:15,707 --> 00:19:17,239
Evelyn looks rough.
492
00:19:18,347 --> 00:19:19,599
Oh hi, Barnaby.
493
00:19:19,674 --> 00:19:20,832
How are you?
494
00:19:20,907 --> 00:19:22,312
Hi, I'm good, thanks.
495
00:19:22,387 --> 00:19:25,752
Mary Needham, we were
at Oxford together.
496
00:19:25,827 --> 00:19:27,199
St. Johns?
497
00:19:27,274 --> 00:19:29,392
Right, are you the
one that had a stroke?
498
00:19:29,467 --> 00:19:30,752
Oh gosh, no.
499
00:19:30,827 --> 00:19:32,712
It's just make up.
500
00:19:32,787 --> 00:19:34,719
Right, lovely to see you again.
501
00:19:34,794 --> 00:19:36,672
I'm surprised you even remember me.
502
00:19:36,747 --> 00:19:38,677
I don't remember you.
503
00:19:38,701 --> 00:19:39,712
Okay, shall we start?
504
00:19:39,787 --> 00:19:40,797
- Yes.
- Great.
505
00:19:40,821 --> 00:19:43,192
Everyone, we're gonna start.
506
00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:45,163
Just so you know I'm gonna be up top
507
00:19:45,187 --> 00:19:47,439
in case anyone tries to poof!
508
00:19:52,546 --> 00:19:53,706
Did you see where Tom went?
509
00:19:53,707 --> 00:19:54,707
Sh!
510
00:20:00,547 --> 00:20:02,352
Right, well, hello everyone.
511
00:20:02,427 --> 00:20:04,359
Thanks so much for having me.
512
00:20:04,434 --> 00:20:07,592
In an increasingly digital world
513
00:20:07,667 --> 00:20:10,417
cooperation between
intelligence agencies
514
00:20:10,441 --> 00:20:11,872
has become vital.
515
00:20:11,947 --> 00:20:16,217
And never has politics played
such an important role
516
00:20:16,241 --> 00:20:19,159
in how we view cyber
security as a society.
517
00:20:21,827 --> 00:20:24,759
In 1997, I started a very long journey
518
00:20:27,667 --> 00:20:29,512
together with my wife, Samantha.
519
00:20:29,587 --> 00:20:31,352
We moved into Downing Street
520
00:20:31,427 --> 00:20:34,319
with a promise to the people of Britain.
521
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:35,360
[ALARM BLARING]
522
00:20:35,361 --> 00:20:37,632
No wait, what, what, what!
523
00:20:37,707 --> 00:20:40,792
[SCREAMING]
524
00:20:40,867 --> 00:20:44,752
Okay, our friends from Greenpeace in?
525
00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:47,432
[LAUGHING]
526
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:50,279
Sorry, anyways onwards and upwards.
527
00:20:51,427 --> 00:20:53,112
Good.
528
00:20:53,187 --> 00:20:56,512
Either we treat hacking
offenses as serious crimes or...
529
00:20:56,587 --> 00:20:59,232
[BEEPING AND SCREECHING]
530
00:20:59,307 --> 00:21:02,272
...or face the consequences of...
531
00:21:02,347 --> 00:21:05,479
Has someone hacked the system?
532
00:21:05,554 --> 00:21:07,274
I expected better than
this, to be honest.
533
00:21:07,347 --> 00:21:09,712
[POP MUSIC]
534
00:21:09,787 --> 00:21:12,639
Excellent, now it's all over Twitter.
535
00:21:13,781 --> 00:21:15,432
Anyone know who's responsible?
536
00:21:15,507 --> 00:21:16,787
I must say I'm looking forward
537
00:21:16,788 --> 00:21:18,512
to explaining to Rupert which one of us
538
00:21:18,587 --> 00:21:22,672
decided to invite a random
hacker into the building.
539
00:21:22,747 --> 00:21:24,512
Go ahead, there's nothing here
540
00:21:24,587 --> 00:21:26,632
that says this was the work of Tom.
541
00:21:26,707 --> 00:21:27,810
Let's get this sorted.
542
00:21:27,834 --> 00:21:30,599
[MONITOR BEEPING]
543
00:21:35,686 --> 00:21:36,766
Could be a different Tom.
544
00:21:36,767 --> 00:21:39,472
- [LOUD POP MUSIC]
- Oh my God.
545
00:21:39,547 --> 00:21:43,599
♪ This is Ground Control to Major Tom ♪
546
00:21:43,674 --> 00:21:48,592
♪ You've really made the grade ♪
547
00:21:48,667 --> 00:21:52,617
♪ And the papers want to
know whose shirts you wear ♪
548
00:21:52,641 --> 00:21:53,912
Wanna go get some T-bones?
549
00:21:53,987 --> 00:21:55,712
Yeah.
550
00:21:55,787 --> 00:22:00,319
♪ Now it's time to leave
the capsule if you dare ♪
551
00:22:01,787 --> 00:22:04,119
[SLOW GUITAR MUSIC]
552
00:22:04,194 --> 00:22:07,799
[SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
553
00:22:11,427 --> 00:22:12,427
Very nice.
554
00:22:13,307 --> 00:22:14,432
Cat bum.
555
00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:15,639
Oh, thank you.
556
00:22:16,914 --> 00:22:20,679
[SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
557
00:22:24,227 --> 00:22:26,232
♪ Hooray hooray hooray ♪
558
00:22:26,307 --> 00:22:27,912
♪ Misery is on the way ♪
559
00:22:27,987 --> 00:22:29,312
♪ There are bad times ♪
560
00:22:29,387 --> 00:22:31,712
♪ Just around the corner ♪
561
00:22:31,787 --> 00:22:33,152
♪ There are dark clouds ♪
562
00:22:33,227 --> 00:22:35,632
♪ Hurtling through the sky ♪
563
00:22:35,707 --> 00:22:37,632
♪ It's as clear as crystal ♪
564
00:22:37,707 --> 00:22:39,672
♪ From Bridlington to Bristol ♪
565
00:22:39,747 --> 00:22:41,632
♪ That we can't save democracy ♪
566
00:22:41,707 --> 00:22:43,512
♪ And we don't much care ♪
567
00:22:43,587 --> 00:22:45,352
♪ We better all learn the merits ♪
568
00:22:45,427 --> 00:22:47,512
♪ On the old red flag ♪
569
00:22:47,587 --> 00:22:51,739
♪ And wait till we drop down dead ♪
570
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,340
Sync & corrections by Costa Dax
www.addic7ed.com
38103
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