Original subtitles

-[Five] Get him! -[gauntlets firing]

Zoom zoom Ka-zoom!

Zoom zoom Ka-zoom!

-Zoom Ka-zoom! -Huh?

-Ka-zoom! -[Five grunts]

Come on, you little... Hold still!

[grunting]

-Huh? -Ka-zoom!

Not so fast, fuzzball! [grunts]

[beeping]

Man, I used to love Zoom Kazoom games, but that catchphrase really gets old fast.

Okay, we get it! You like the sound of your own name!

[beeps]

-Ka-zoom! -[gasps]

Okay, Ally, let's frag that fuzzball!

[caws]

[Miko] Let's go!

Zoom zoom Ka-zoom!

[cawing]

Hey! Ugh!

-Whoa! -[Ally glitching]

Ally, what's wrong?

Zoom zoom!

[cawing]

[screaming]

What the...

Ally? Where'd you go, me birdy?

Ugh! No time for a pit stop, girl!

Oh, no, Ally! You've taken damage! That's never happened before.

[cawing]

Five! Something's up with Ally!

I think she's sick!

What do you mean? She's a program. She doesn’t get sick.

[beeping]

[grunting]

Try rebooting her.

[caws]

Feel better, girl?

[cawing]

Oh, nerds.

How's Ally? Did it work?

[groans]

[chuckles] Zoom.

Thanks for the distraction, noobs.

-[laughs] -[caws]

What do we do, Five?

She's acted twitchy before, but never like this.

-This is next level twitching! -[groans]

You're right, this is bad.

-BITT, come in. Ally needs help. -[gauntlet beeping]

[BITT] I am sorry, but as a tech training entity,

I do not possess the data to diagnose your pet.

So, how do we fix her?

[Phil] Beats me.

But luckily for your bird, Hinobi's got a pet trainer.

[BITT] You have arrived at your destination.

[Five chuckles] Whoa!

-Check out those companion pets. -[birds chirping]

[Miko] You really think this trainer could help me with Ally, Phil?

Well, Emma is a very dedicated trainer,

but she kind of marches to the beat of her own frequency,

if you know what I mean.

[roars]

[both exclaim]

[retching]

Aha!

Sweet success!

I have found my car keys!

[chuckling] Well, I can see you're in good hands, so...

[caws]

[gasps] A first generation chicky chum NPC mount?

Hold this and do not stop showering it with food, love and Hinobi gossip.

-[chirps] -Huh. Oh, hey, little guy.

Oh, how I love these turkeys.

You know, Bravestone XII is my all-time favorite RPG.

That's my pet Ally. She's hasn't been acting like herself lately.

Oh. Has she been erratic, nervous, distractible,

eating pretty much anything that isn't nailed down?

-Pretty much since we met. -Uh-huh.

So, you don't know your pet very well.

Are you kidding? I know everything about her!

She flies like a rocket, looks great in red,

hates authority and loves to caw.

-[cawing, glitching] -See?

Phil told us you were somebody who could fix glitchy pets.

Ugh. You think she's broken?

Well, she's an artificial intelligence, isn't she?

Can't you just fix her by pushing a button or something?

[laughing]

I'm sorry, who are you again?

-Uh, High Five? -Hmm.

There is nothing artificial about intelligence, High Five.

[chirping]

-You don't have a pet, do you? -Uh... no.

So, what do you two want from me?

I suppose you're here to exchange this faulty bird for a brand-new one.

No way, lady! That wouldn't be Ally.

Miko, Ally is a program, remember?

-Nobody would know it was a copy. -I would know.

Oh. I like you, kid.

You think with your thumper, not your thinker.

Ultimately, it is up to you, young humanoid,

to find out what's wrong with your pet.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

But what I can do, yes, yes, yes,

is borrow a few game elements from my favorite RPG

to generate a custom training level

that should help to put you on the right track. [chuckling]

I'm in! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

This should work.

Now to just hack the simulator, upload the program and portal you in.

[Five] Uh, isn't hacking the sim a little dangerous?

If it's a quest to save my bird, I am going!

[whirring and beeping]

-Come on, Ally. Hi-yah! -[Ally caws]

So, uh... I'll just, you know, hang out here until she gets back.

Oh, no. I've devised a little trial for you to help with your pet problem.

But I don't have a pet, remember?

Yeah! That's the problem!

Aah!

[both screaming]

[theme song playing]

[man] Who knows what really happens when a video game starts to glitch?

♪ Here come the Glitch Techs They know what to do ♪

♪ They got the tech They got the moves ♪

♪ Glitch Techs They're the wrecking crew ♪

♪ They'll solve the problem ♪

♪ Glitch Techs When a Glitch is loose ♪

♪ They'll wipe them out Old school or new ♪

♪ Glitch Techs always coming through To solve the problem ♪

♪ Glitch Techs Whoa! ♪

♪ Glitch Techs! ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

Whoa!

Ally, where are we?

Miko, can you hear me?

Yeah, I can hear you.

Okay, pet trainees, welcome, welcome, to my custom training simulation!

As RPG fans, you may find some aspects of this world a bit familiar. [chuckles]

Eh... kinda, sorta.

Ya seen one lava level, you've kinda seen them all.

The rules to this simulation are simple.

To find what you both need, you must each rely on your pets.

-You up for that, Ally? -[caws]

Hey, I told you, lady, I don't have a pet.

[electricity pulsating]

[Miko] Whoa!

Whoa!

-What was that? -[Ally glitching]

Uh-oh. This is... This is the opposite of good.

The sim appears to be glitching.

You should probably make your way to the exit portal at once.

Get out! Go!

[gauntlet voice] Safety protocols are offline.

-[Five] Emma? -[Miko] Hello?

Miko, we're breaking up! Meet me at the exit portal!

On it! Me and Ally will be right--

Five? Five? Ugh! Glitchy tech.

Okay, girl. All we gotta do is make it through and then head to the portal.

-You ready? -[caws]

[Miko] Let's show Emma we're unstoppable! Whoo!

♪ Ally and Miko They're two birds of a feather ♪

♪ Even though only one is a real bird With real feathers ♪

♪ Nah-na-na, na-na... ♪

Ally, we gotta go!

That's it, Ally. We're almost-- [screams]

Things are getting mighty tentacley up in here!

Keep moving!

[caws]

[Miko exclaiming]

Ally! focus, girl! No time for snacks!

Hey, what'd I just say?

-Aah! Really? -[caws]

-[Miko exclaiming] -[cawing]

-[grunts] -[caws]

[groans]

[beeping]

Oh, no, not this again!

Don't worry, girl. I'll just put you away until I can figure out how to--

[gauntlet voice] Access denied.

Come on! That's weird.

[groaning]

[sighs] Okay, okay, it's fine. We'll be out of here any second.

All we need to do is stay mindful of our surroundings,

and an opportunity will present itself.

[caws]

Aha!

If we can't go over, we're just gonna have to go under!

[caws]

[Five] All right, Five. Okay, Five, stretch it out.

You didn't ask for this sim, but you got it.

And you can get out of here, 'cause you eat sims for breakfast.

Let's see. We got a portal. We got a gate to the portal.

And we got a guard sentry at the gate.

Sure. That's standard.

Now, let's see. Might be some way past him.

A puzzle or a riddle or... Ah, who am I kidding?

Hey, ugly! Come at me, bro!

[chittering]

Ha! You just got canned!

Uh... [chuckling nervously]

[chittering]

[exclaims]

Oh. You guys want some of this? Huh?

[glitching]

Oh, come on, don't you glitch on me right now.

Heads up!

-[chittering] -[Five exclaiming]

[panting]

Okay, good. They're not coming in.

Wait. Why aren't they coming in?

[Alpha powering on]

Oh, that's why.

[screaming]

Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!

[Alpha roaring]

[exclaiming]

Uh, yeah, that's right. And stay down. [chuckles]

Yeah! Good thing you stepped in just then, bro.

I was just about to pop a bunch of these fools myself

when you came by.

[exclaims]

[gulps]

-[grunts] -[exclaims]

Huh?

[grunting]

-[roars] -[Five] Ow!

[groans]

-You're broken. -[roars]

I mean, it's cool! No offense, buddy.

Uh, pal. Or, uh...

Alpha?

[Alpha exclaims]

You like Alpha, all right!

So, uh, listen, Alfie.

I was just passing by on my way to that portal in the sky over there,

but the gate is guarded by those trash mobs you like beatin' on so much.

I was gonna go clear them myself, but I figured, why be selfish, you know?

I could help this guy out and let him in on the action,

and then maybe you could help me get up there.

[grunts]

You understand "up"?

[grunts]

Yeah, that's right. We're going up!

Okay, just follow me. The gate is just over...

Wait! Wrong way, big guy. Where are you going?

[grunts]

Okay, this looks semiterrifying, but Emma designed this level,

so there must be a reason she put this tunnel here.

-[cawing] -[grunting]

Head in the game, girl!

I swear I will feed you when we get back.

[chiming]

Huh? What's that?

Look, Ally! A light to guide our way out!

[roaring]

Or to our death.

Watch out! Go, go, go, go, go!

[roaring]

Oh! Nice level design, Emma!

"You know what this simulation needs? Killer worms!"

Oh! Where'd it go? Where'd it go?

Aah! Other way! Other way! Other way!

[burps]

[Miko exclaims]

[cawing weakly]

Oh, no!

[beeping]

Ally!

-[Alpha grunts softly] -[Five grunts]

Come on, man. What are you doing up here?

[techno music playing]

-Alpha... -[Alpha grunts]

Hey!

[Five panting]

[roaring]

Come on, Biggie. I thought we had an understanding, you and me!

I told you, I need to get up to the portal in the sky, remember?

[Alpha exclaims]

[grunts]

Yes, up. But this is the wrong up.

I don't want you to go up. I want you to help me go up!

[grunts]

[techno music continues]

-[Five screams] -[music stops]

[grunts]

Alpha's missing bolt.

Oh, I get it, Emma. Classic adventure game side quest.

Complete with its own mini-bosses.

[chittering]

Hey, guys! Heads up again!

Hey, Alpha!

If you want your bolt back, I hope you can catch as good as you throw!

Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!

[screaming]

[chittering angrily]

Hey, buddy.

I think this belongs to you.

[grunts softly]

-[roaring] -[all shrieking]

[Alpha grunting]

[beeping]

So, are we cool?

[laughing]

[both groaning and laughing]

Man, you should charge tickets for that ride. [chuckles]

Well, glad to help you, big guy, but now I gotta get back on my main quest.

Getting up to that portal so I can meet Miko.

[Alpha grunts]

Whoa!

Are you offering me a ride?

[Miko huffs] Right back where we started.

[cawing weakly]

I'm sorry, girl. I should be able to help you.

I should know what you need!

[caws]

I know it doesn't make sense to be sad. None of this is real. You're not real.

But the way I feel about you is.

[caws]

Okay, fine.

Maybe I don't know what you need.

But at least I can finally give you what you want.

[cawing weakly]

Here you go, girl.

[chimes]

-[cawing] -Wait a minute. These aren't fruits.

They're power-ups from Bravestone XII!

[caws]

That's your game, chickadee!

All this time, I thought you weren't listening to me.

But it was me that wasn't listening to you!

[whirring]

[exclaiming]

-[screeching] -Heavens to metroid, chicky chum!

-You're a fiery chum! -[caws]

[chiptune music playing]

-Let's show 'em who runs this game, Ally! -[caws]

[Miko laughs] Everyone bow down to the regalest bird in Bravestone!

[chittering]

Oh, yeah!

Watch out! Coming through!

Whoo-hoo!

[in slow motion] Oh, yeah!

[normal] Alpha and Five! Whoo-hoo!

-We made it! -[caws]

-Now, where's Five? -[Five] Whoo-hoo!

Miko, check it out! I made a friend!

-Say hello, Alpha! -[Alpha grunts]

-Wait. Is that Ally? -[Ally caws]

[Five and Miko clamoring excitedly]

[Alpha grunts]

[caws]

[growling]

[Five and Miko] Oh, nerds.

[announcer] Boss mode!

-We can take him! It's four on one! -The portal's closing!

[growling]

No! Why, portal? Why?

Whatever we do, we're gonna have to do it fast!

[growls]

Let's make this quick, Ally.

[growls]

[Five] Eat this!

And so he did.

Come on, Alpha!

[Miko] Fireball! Fireball!

[Miko screams]

Ally!

Miko!

Alpha, our friends need us!

[whirring]

[groans]

-Help! Ally's stuck! -[cawing]

[groans]

[Miko] Thanks, Alpha!

We can't get past this thing. What are we going to do?

[Alpha grunts]

No. Come with us, Alpha!

[grunts softly]

[Ally coos]

[grunting]

[growls]

No! Wait!

Alpha!

[growling]

[Alpha roaring]

[Five] Alpha!

[both exclaim]

-[Emma] Oh, there you are. -[caws]

[chuckling] Wow! So how was it? Tell me everything.

"How was it?"

Your crazy program glitched on us, lady!

We were stuck in there with no gauntlets, no communication and no...

Go on.

You made it glitch on purpose, didn't you?

I told you my training level was designed to teach you about your chicky chum here.

A pet is a relationship, Miko.

You get out of it what you put into it.

And when it comes to the care and the feeding of your chum,

I highly suggest you read the instructions.

I gotta read all nine pages?

-[caws] -[sighs]

The things I do for you, Ally.

[caws]

You're quiet, High Five. Why so emo, Nemo?

Uh... Emma, in the simulation, I met someone.

Oh! Like this Bravestone XII Exclusive Edition Alpha Mech?

I can replicate a brand-new one for you if you want.

I don't want a new Alpha. I want my Alpha.

Not as replaceable as you once thought, hmm?

Reality's not just here, my friend. It's also here.

[beeping]

-Alpha! -[grunts softly]

I thought I lost you, buddy.

-[Alpha grunts] -Ow!

Looks like I have a pet now. [chuckles]

[caws]

Hey. Says here in the manual there are even more treats

that can teach you all kinds of tricks.

Wait till you see what these babies do.

-Whoa! -[caws]

[theme music playing]