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1
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:07,710
JOHN: David,what are you doing?
2
00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:08,984
DAVID: Shut up.Dude, just shut up.
3
00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:10,582
Just wait.
4
00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:12,014
Ahh...
5
00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:14,078
ahh‐ahh...
6
00:00:14,147 --> 00:00:15,247
Oh, no,
you're doing that thing.
7
00:00:15,315 --> 00:00:16,545
It's not working.
You know, back in the day,
8
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,517
if you held a slice
of cafeteria pizza like this,
9
00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:20,445
everything would slide off into
your mouth like a mudslide.
10
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,451
It was delicious.
11
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:22,862
The gastronomy club
petitioned them
12
00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:23,993
to use better tomato paste.
13
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:25,427
Oh, there you go.
14
00:00:25,491 --> 00:00:27,231
Sustained activism is the key
to social progress.
15
00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:28,633
Well,
you ruined pizza chugging.
16
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:29,625
Congratulations.
17
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:30,796
Okay, look,
we're not technically
18
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,074
supposed to be
on school property at all,
19
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:33,172
so let's get down to it.
20
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:34,233
How can we help you?
21
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:35,600
Have y'all ever heard
of Party Pines?
22
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:37,539
Kids party there
on the weekend.
23
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,074
Oh, yes.
24
00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:41,509
Yes, we're familiar
with Party Pines.
25
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,035
‐Really?
‐What are your names again?
26
00:00:43,109 --> 00:00:44,479
‐He's Colin.
‐She's Phoebe.
27
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,945
All right,
Phoebe and Colin,
28
00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:47,082
I'ma put y'all up
on some history.
29
00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:50,517
I tapped the first‐ever keg
at Party Pines.
30
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,494
Me and my brosfounded that place.
31
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:54,153
It's like going up
to Christopher Columbus
32
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,920
and saying, "Oh, have you heard
about this place?
33
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,319
"It's really great.
It's called America.
34
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,690
I think you would like it."
He's like,
35
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:01,259
"Yeah, I know all about it.
I'm the one who invented it."
36
00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:02,297
‐Why that acc‐‐
‐'Cause he's Italian.
37
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:03,502
‐Oh, God.
‐Yeah.
38
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,204
So you're Christopher Columbus?
39
00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:06,995
Yeah, if he did
upside‐down beer bongs
40
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,137
on a sick‐ass tire swing
he built himself.
41
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:12,772
So you're okay having the blood
of genocide on your hands?
42
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:14,069
Uh, it rules, obviously.
43
00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,280
I got a holiday out of it.
44
00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:16,411
‐Okay, that's‐‐
‐I win.
45
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:17,776
‐All right, Howard Zinn,
let's, uh,
46
00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:19,454
let's move on to their case,
please.
47
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:20,783
Anyway,
48
00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:22,817
something strangeis happening at Party Pines.
49
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:23,923
(twig snaps)
50
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,054
For the last few weeks,
51
00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:27,688
there's been a thingin the woods.
52
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,724
COLIN: Just standing therewatching us.
53
00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:32,490
Not to creep‐shame,
but it's kind of creepy.
54
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:34,659
(gasps) Dude, I wonder if it's
the lurker of Party Pines.
55
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:35,828
Do you remember him?
56
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:37,326
I wouldn't remember
the lurker of Party Pines,
57
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:40,297
because I was never invited
to Party Pines.
58
00:01:40,366 --> 00:01:42,166
Who's the lurker
of Party Pines?
59
00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:43,865
Back when we were
in high school,
60
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,207
he was this weirdowho hid in the woods
61
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,572
and just watched us.
62
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:50,441
(twig snaps)
63
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:51,851
And we all thought
maybe he was, like,
64
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,482
an escaped lunatic from
the Dicktown Lunatic Asylum,
65
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,018
'cause that's where they kept
all the lunatics.
66
00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:58,152
But that was, like,
50 years ago.
67
00:01:58,218 --> 00:01:59,388
You think it's the same guy?
68
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,892
No, he would be dead by now,
of course,
69
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,455
but perhaps it's his ghost.
70
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,525
Whatever it is,
we want it to leave us alone.
71
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:07,933
Kids shouldn't have to look
over their shoulders
72
00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:09,564
when they're partying illegally
in the woods.
73
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:10,530
(door opens)
74
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:11,427
MAN: Hey.
75
00:02:11,497 --> 00:02:12,897
‐Oh, dude.
‐MAN: Hey, you.
76
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,396
‐We gotta go, we gotta go.
‐We'll see you tomorrow night.
77
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,267
Hey, My Two Dads,
get out of here.
78
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:17,236
Thanks for the pizza.
79
00:02:17,303 --> 00:02:20,343
(dramatic music)
80
00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:22,876
Man, I didn't know
you believed in ghosts.
81
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:24,043
I don't believe in ghosts.
82
00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:25,780
You just said
it could be a ghost.
83
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:27,676
David, you have friends,
and you have good hair,
84
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,218
but I have something
even better.
85
00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:30,222
Yeah, I know, a houseboat.
86
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:31,623
An analytical mind.
87
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,085
‐Oh.
‐I don't believe in ghosts.
88
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,563
I'm a skeptic.
89
00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:37,091
However, I do need money
to pay for the houseboat,
90
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,217
and therefore,
91
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:40,761
why not pose
as ghost hunters...
92
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,427
‐Oh, snap.
‐In order to get more work?
93
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,725
Damn,
I love your analytical mind,
94
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,798
your hot,
throbbing analytical mind.
95
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:49,037
It explodes, and I get thoughts
all over my face,
96
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,172
and I go crazy.
97
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:52,266
Oh, no thank you.
98
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:53,438
(rock music)
99
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,007
Tucker, we need supplies.
100
00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:56,375
TUCKER (over phone): They selladult diapers at CVS.
101
00:02:56,442 --> 00:02:57,612
Very funny.
We're coming over.
102
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,948
TUCKER (over phone): No,you already owe me $500.
103
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,623
Plus, I'm not home.
104
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,052
DAVID: He is totally lying.
105
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,416
Plus, you still haven'treturned my binoculars.
106
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:07,185
Okay, that part's true.
107
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:09,293
Ghost hunting gear?
108
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,115
Do you even believe
in paranormal stuff?
109
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,331
What‐‐what does it matter
what I "believe."
110
00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:14,703
Does anything matter?
111
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:18,261
Mm, your rejection
of bourgeois labels is hot.
112
00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:19,631
I thought it was
existential nihilism.
113
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,540
I'm still aroused.
Here, take these goggles.
114
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,502
All right, well,
what do these do?
115
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:24,840
Help you see at night, genius.
116
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:26,205
That's why they're called
night vision goggles.
117
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:28,042
Okay, okay, I didn't know
what kind of goggles they were.
118
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,308
‐I'm sorry.
‐(laughs)
119
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:30,335
I thought maybe they were
micro‐penis goggles
120
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:31,710
for looking
at your micro‐penis.
121
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,048
‐Guys, guys, okay.
‐'Cause it's so tiny,
122
00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:34,383
you need goggles to see it.
123
00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:36,517
Okay, what else do you have,
Tucker?
124
00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:38,623
Uh, you can say
this old graphing calculator
125
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:39,815
is an EMF meter.
126
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:40,786
What's EMF?
127
00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,224
BOTH:
Electromagnetic frequency.
128
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:43,588
‐DAVID: What?
‐Duh.
129
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,787
‐Ugh, these nerds.
‐Okay, keep it coming, Tucker.
130
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:46,959
What else?
‐I guess you could tape
131
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,127
this old Xbox to a bike helmet.
132
00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:49,434
Well, that sounds perfect.
133
00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:50,555
That will actually look
kind of cool.
134
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:51,971
All right, and we'll need
the walkie‐talkies.
135
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:56,002
Okay, you already owe me five,
so that comes to $800.
136
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:56,969
‐Oh, David.
‐Yeah, right.
137
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,367
How about $200
138
00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,038
and we don't tell your parents
about all this?
139
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:01,066
No way.
140
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:03,181
Tucker, my dad will kill me.
141
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,253
Mine too.
142
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:07,351
(ominous music)
143
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,823
‐(inhales) Mmm, Party Pines.
‐(groans)
144
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,383
It's good to be back.
145
00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:12,851
Yes, Party Pines.
146
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,989
You know, you said we never
invited you here,
147
00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:16,685
but we totally did, man.
148
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,627
Oh, that's right.
You did invite me once
149
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:21,832
to solve the mystery
of the wrong bong.
150
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,034
No, this is your bong, Taylor.
151
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,169
Dude, if that was my bong,
I'd be high right now,
152
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:31,574
and if I was high,
I'd be paranoid, but I'm not.
153
00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:33,408
That proves somebody snuck up
in here and replaced it
154
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,513
with an exact replica, man.
155
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,536
Taylor, it literally has
your name on it.
156
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,951
Duh, that's because
it's an exact replica.
157
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:42,653
That's the level of mastermind
that we're dealing with.
158
00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:43,616
(sighs)
159
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:44,954
Don't sigh.
It's rude.
160
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:48,088
Ahh!
161
00:04:48,154 --> 00:04:50,394
‐Still an open case, buddy.
‐No, it isn't.
162
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,726
(ominous music)
163
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,563
Hey, y'all.
What's up?
164
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,498
Uh, where is the keg?
165
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:58,333
Keg?
What are you, cops?
166
00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:00,198
They're too old to be cops.
167
00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:01,936
Whoa,
cool graphing calculator.
168
00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:04,172
This is an EMF meter, bruh.
We're ghost hunters.
169
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:05,467
That's right.
170
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,639
If anyone has issues
with ghosts or demons,
171
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:10,108
Hunchman Paranormal
Investigations can help.
172
00:05:10,176 --> 00:05:11,136
Where did you get those beers?
173
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,481
Beer?
174
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,176
Beer impairs
your mental activity, dude.
175
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:15,577
This is Super Soylent.
176
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,749
It has cognition‐enhancing
nutrients.
177
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:18,588
Really?
178
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:19,952
Even folate coenzymes?
179
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,020
Wait, hold on.
180
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:22,187
You're drinking to get smart?
181
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,315
You're supposed to drink
to get dumb.
182
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:25,990
Dude,
something's not right.
183
00:05:26,059 --> 00:05:28,059
Huh? Wait.
184
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:29,728
What the...
185
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:32,726
What happened
to my Party Pines?
186
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:35,269
Welcome to Party Pines 2.0.
187
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,395
Wait a minute.
188
00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,769
‐This looks like a TED Talk.
‐What's that?
189
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,939
Oh, it's an annual conference
of thought leaders...
190
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,607
‐Boring, boring.
‐That meets in Vancouver
191
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,676
to present and discuss issues
of the day in technology,
192
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,475
entertainment, and design.
‐Boring!
193
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,547
We call it
Cognitive Campfire Talks.
194
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,615
We've disrupted
the partying paradigm.
195
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,394
We get buzzed on ideas.
196
00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,452
‐And Adderall.
‐But mostly ideas.
197
00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,491
Oh, where was this
when I was in school?
198
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,387
We're all about
leveraging knowledge
199
00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:01,388
to improve our chances
in today's zero‐sum economy.
200
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:03,361
That sounds fun as shit.
201
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,395
We're about to start
tonight's program.
202
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,467
Okay, guys,
cognitive campfire is starting.
203
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:13,467
May's up first,
game theory for beginners.
204
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,110
(dramatic music)
205
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:16,735
Well, that sounds
really interesting.
206
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,650
I could use a refresher
on game theory.
207
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,382
So you better go
stand guard now.
208
00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:22,377
Oh, right.
209
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,148
Come on,
let's go secure the perimeter
210
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:28,087
so these nerds can make out
with each other's brains.
211
00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:30,694
(ominous music)
212
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:31,927
(groans)
213
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,732
These woods are definitely
creepier than I remember.
214
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,625
Do you see anything?
Over.
215
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,597
Breaker one‐nine,
that is a negative.
216
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:40,665
I see nothing.
217
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,173
Okay, like a said before,
218
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,667
please say "over"
to end your transmission, okay?
219
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,310
‐Over.
‐Got it.
220
00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:49,314
Over.
221
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:50,735
Thank you, over.
222
00:06:50,811 --> 00:06:53,081
‐DAVID: You're welcome, penis.
‐(groans)
223
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,646
You know, I wonder if they put
their lectures on YouTube.
224
00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:56,775
I should probably check out...
(gasps)
225
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:57,720
David.
226
00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:58,954
Oh, my God, David,
the mystery man.
227
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,619
What do I do?
David, what do I do?
228
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:03,258
DAVID: You can startby saying "over."
229
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,233
This isn't funny.
Over.
230
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:07,291
He's coming for me.
231
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,660
David, help me.
Over.
232
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:11,900
(breathing heavily)
233
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,195
He was so close.
I felt his evil.
234
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,437
What do I do?
What do I do?
235
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:17,002
Use your analytical mind.
236
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,640
Right, I can do this.
237
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:20,005
Target left the clearing
at 9:30
238
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:21,473
traveling approximately
five miles per hour.
239
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:22,612
You started running at 9:31.
240
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,076
If you run 30 degrees
to the east
241
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,384
at 5.25 miles per hour,
you'll cut him off at the creek
242
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,505
at 9:34 p. m., over.
243
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:30,021
I'm on it, over.
244
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:32,593
In conclusion,
the key to game theory is...
245
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:33,653
(all gasp)
246
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,860
Hi‐ho, nerds.
247
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:37,192
Look who we got.
248
00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:38,457
Now they'll see who this
249
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,825
non‐ghost mystery man
really is.
250
00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,297
‐DAVID: Cam Smith.
‐JOHN: Exactly.
251
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,365
Cam Smith.
252
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:48,643
I'm sorry.
I've never heard of him.
253
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,402
Yeah, me neither, actually.
Who's Cam Smith?
254
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,340
Uh,
he's the starting center
255
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:53,435
on your high school
basketball team,
256
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,707
the Junior Tobaccaneers.
257
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:58,236
What, you guys don't support
the Junior Tobacs?
258
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,081
All sports cause concussions.
259
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,546
Ugh, why were you hiding
in the woods?
260
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:05,016
Well, I heard about
these cool lectures,
261
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:07,615
well, I‐‐I knew they'd
never invite me,
262
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:08,958
because I'm a jock.
263
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,192
But nerds are cooler
than jocks now.
264
00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:12,457
I know.
265
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:14,456
The whole world is swirling
down a toilet of madness.
266
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:17,098
You're welcome to join
our circle of influencers, Cam.
267
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,103
‐Really?
‐What?
268
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,734
No.
What are you doing?
269
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,430
You've built this beautiful
intellectual oasis,
270
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:22,372
and you're gonna let jocks in?
271
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:24,435
Jocks will ruin it.
272
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,165
Just like they ruined
the Beastie Boys.
273
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:27,209
But we're intersectional.
274
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:28,473
We'd love to hear
the jock perspective.
275
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:32,552
Oh, the whole world is swirling
down a toilet of madness.
276
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,313
Thanks for your help, guys.
277
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,350
Wait, I'm sorry.
I've got‐‐
278
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:36,845
I've got to say one thing
before we go.
279
00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,117
All you nerds, listen up.
280
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,894
This is your final lecture
for the night.
281
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,163
Party Pines is special,
you idiots.
282
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:44,762
Generations of Dicktown kids
have goofed off right here.
283
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:46,955
This is a sacred space
for acting stupid.
284
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,327
That's why he named it
Party Pines.
285
00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:52,725
And you nerds are defiling it
with free lectures.
286
00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:55,139
What is this,
Snapchat Epidemiology?
287
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,101
What the fuck is that?
288
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:57,999
It's shameful, son,
is what it is.
289
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,671
I'm embarrassed to be
a Dicktown High alumni.
290
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:01,911
Thank you. Good night.
291
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,535
Alumnus.
292
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:04,610
What did you say?
293
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,148
You're embarrassed to be
an alumnus.
294
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,712
"Alumni" is plural.
295
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,121
‐Oh, he's right, actually.
‐Ooh.
296
00:09:09,182 --> 00:09:10,352
You keep acting smart,
297
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:12,686
I'll burn this whole
fucking forest to the ground.
298
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,493
John, let's go.
299
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:16,585
Great lecture series, everyone.
300
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:17,887
Thanks.
301
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:21,258
Well, to our first
non‐paranormal
302
00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:22,157
paranormal case.
303
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,628
And to the spirit
of Party Pines, RIP.
304
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:25,998
Oh, David.
305
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,026
Oh, that's gonna leak
into the living room.
306
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,430
‐I'm pouring one out
‐All right.
307
00:09:28,502 --> 00:09:30,642
I guess I'll go get a towel
and clean up your mess.
308
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,274
‐Okay.
‐Ugh.
309
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:35,838
(light jazzy music)
310
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,139
Hey, I'm sorry we never
invited you to Party Pines.
311
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,111
JOHN: It's fine.
312
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,779
Just we didn't like you
very much.
313
00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:43,547
JOHN: Well, I appreciate
your honesty, I guess.
314
00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:44,947
DAVID: Hey,
wouldn't it be weird
315
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,748
if the lurker of Party Pines
was still out there somewhere?
316
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,091
I'm sorry, what?
317
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,585
DAVID: I said,
wouldn't it be effed up
318
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,157
if the lurker of Party Pines
319
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:54,425
was still alive
out there somewhere?
320
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,904
Oh, David,
that is a mystery
321
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:59,403
that will never be solved.
322
00:09:59,465 --> 00:10:00,695
What?
323
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,667
That is a mystery
that will never be solved.
324
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:05,707
Wait, what?
325
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:06,972
That is a mystery
that will never be solved.
326
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,040
DAVID: Dude, I can't hear you.
What are you saying?
327
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:10,379
It's a mystery
that will never be solved.
328
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,113
DAVID: I still can't hear you.
What are you saying?
329
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:14,778
Nothing!
24019
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