All language subtitles for Chickens s01e06

I just need some soup,
a bit of porridge.

There's a few other things. I've got
a list. What, a list of demands?

Well, yes. A shopping list.
What's on this list?

Yep, I'm going to tell you.
Vegetables.

Every vegetable?

Any vegetable will be fine.
Yes, I was going to say -

you won't be getting every
vegetable, I'm afraid.

Oh, hello, Winky!

Oh, dear. I mean, oh, hello, dear!
I missed out the hello!

Just finishing the shopping.
Do you want anything?

I could do with some ciggies.

And a packet of ciggies for my
fiancee. She's not your fiancee.

I think I'd know if she was
my fiance or not. Tell her, Winky.

I don't want to get involved.
Not even wearing a ring.

She is wearing a... Ooh! Now then.

Where's the old ring then, Winky?

Next!

Hold that thought.
There's five shillings.

Right. Keep the change.

Yep. Normally me
who says that but... Winky!

It's on! There, see. On.

It's back on, certainly.

The thing is really that the ring
slides off very easily

with just a few twists, and tugs.

And because I find myself tugging
it quite a lot, it can tend to...

it sort of has a will of its own.

It's like it wants to be off.

How about, for safety,
I just keep it in my pocket.

Can't fall off if it's already off.

I suppose the only problem with that
is that people won't know we're engaged.

Oh, I don't care about that.

Oh, fine then.

Oh, thank you George!
Oh, George, I love you!

Oh, God, I love you so much!
I love you too, Winky!

I thought we could have lunch
together, but... bye!

Alright Cecil, I know.

I am trying to be more forceful,
that just wasn't the right time.

I'm not Cecil.

Oh, sorry, Bert. I thought
you were Cecil.

I'm not Bert either.

Men...

Men...

Men...

Stop saying "men", old bean.

The men are back. The men are back
on leave. See you later.

Ooh! Hold your horses. Have you
heard of "We're playing Monopoly"?

What? Well I can't help but notice
that you're not exactly winning.

Seems an opportune moment to exit.

Bert, my friends are back
from their first war.

What about your friends staying
in your hotel on Bond Street?

They're customers, Bert.
They're not really friends.

So your customer isn't your friend?

Well, remind me never to
visit your shop or emporium, George,

because clearly I'll be regarded
as some sort of despised enemy,

isn't that right, Cecil?
Oh, he's gone.

Windfall! Someone just
inherited the Water Works.

Hi, Nellie. Is Harry back?

He's resting.

He's resting. Absolutely.
No chance of just saying hello?

He's out.

He's out as well. Resting and out.

All right. Cheers.

Listen, I have missed my boys
deeply,

and if you think about it,
you've had all the women around

while the men were at war,
while I've had no-one in my life.

So what I'm saying is...

Are you saying you've missed my own
husband more than I have?

I think we're even-stevens.

Is there a soldier on the premises?

Yeah, Cow.

Cow? Well, Dennis.

But his father and I call him Cow,
because he looks braindead.

Do you? Yeah. Nobody's ever called
him Dennis.

Doesn't suit him.
He looks too braindead.

I'd love to talk to Cow
if he's in and... mooing.

Cow! Dinner!

Quickest way.

He must've gone out.
He comes and goes.

Well, this has been the worst one
so far.

So you're a pacifist? Yep.
If you want to write something, there's a rag and a bucket

to wipe a space,
there's some charcoal there too.

Move over, Dot, stop hogging it!

Get a bigger house then, cheapskate.
It's all I can afford. I'm sorry!

No, it's all right.
I don't want to write anything.

It's just that, well, I think
I might agree with you.

What?

You mean... I want to become
involved in opposing the war.

This is it! Wake up, George.

Thinking head on, this is
happening. Come on, George.

Come in. Come in, dear boy.

Now, the first thing you need to do
is try and make your peace with God.

Oh, yeah, I've done that.
You've done that already?

Yeah, I done it on the walk over.

Oh, no, top of the class,
that's amazing.

Well, take a seat, please.

That's my bike.

Oi!

Hiya!

I thought you were turning round
cos you'd seen me. Me? No!

Greeting circle. What?

Little greeting circle to
welcome you home.

What can I do you for?

That's my bike. No, it isn't.

Yes, it is.

I left it tied to the town
cross on the day we shipped out.

What colour was your bike? Red.

And how many wheels...

It is my bike. Look, I've
carved my name into the handlebars. It says "Thomas".

How do you know that's not my name
I've carved into the handlebars? Well what's your name?

Thomas. Is it though? Seems to be.

No, I know you.
You're not called Thomas.

You're called something like...
Talbot.

Talbot's not a name, mate!
You're thinking of Thomas.

All right, if you didn't steal
it from the town cross,

where did you get it from?

Blind man.

What?

Got it from a blind man in Reading.
For five pounds.

Are you doing your cover story
sarcastically?

You should be pleased, mate.
Seeing it out and about.

I got a bell for it. Look at that.
That doesn't change anything.

Well, technically it means
we now share ownership.

Right, thank you.

THANK YOU!

There's no justice. Simple as that!

OK, you may ride my bike,
but you may not touch my bell!

That's my property. Out of bounds.

I'll assume that was an accident.
Do not do it again.

Right. That's your final warning!
Final warning.

That's better.

I knew you'd...
you're just being cheeky now.

And that's pacifism.

I'm sold. What?

I am sold. I think
what you said was very impressive.

I'm paying my warrant,
I'm staying in England.

Just think of how many lives
you've saved, George. Me?

Yeah, you've effectively saved the
life of anyone I might have killed.

And bear in mind,
I used to really go for it.

Bloody hell.

My plan is to stay here, gain
the attention of the powers that be

and expose this hideous deception
that has destroyed so many of us.

You, George, might have saved
the lives of the people of Europe.

Gosh. I don't know what to say.

Not bad for a Tuesday! Mm. Ooh!

Men!

Men!

MENNN!

Argh!

Nice morning, Cecil?

Tempest of shit. In a bad way?

I can't get near 'em.

Can't get near who?
The soldiers. My actual friends.

That's a shame.
We've had one here all morning.

I don't believe you.
Oh, yes, we had a good old natter.

You can still see the imprint
of his bottom, if you're interested.

Is this his tea? Yes.

It's still warm.

No sign of him anywhere!
It is ludicrous.

I feel like throwing
myself off a cliff.

It's only about a ten-minute
walk to the cliffs actually, Cecil.

Shut up, Bert. Knock knock! Hi!
Is this a good time?

Could be, if you're thinking
what I'm thinking!

Right. Where to begin.

I know that relations between us
haven't always been the best,

but I hope you'll accept this small
gift of food and drink from me.

What's this bullshit? Wow, Cecil.

Wow.

I just thought you three could
use a nice night in.

I just really want you to enjoy
your own home, here, where you live,

with the provisions I've provided.

Just hunker down, shut the shutters,
and forget about the outside world.

How remarkably good of you, Agnes.
Don't thank her, mate.

Why are you doing this, Agnes?
Just because you like us?

Yes, just because I...

No, I'm not saying that. I refuse
to say it. I hate you.

Do you hear me? I hate you all.
Just stay in your stupid shack,

and don't come to the welcome back
bash at the pub tonight.

I knew it. I knew something was up.
Well you can take this back.

We're not going to be bribed by a...
Oh, apart from the brandy.

No, Bert. We're not accepting...
Is that quince? George!

Oh, my God, there's a whole wheel
of Stilton. Right. That's your lot.

Goodbye, Agnes. See you tonight.

Another hamper goes begging.
I'm sorry, Bert.

Can we get a dog? No, Bert.

Not allowed to do anything!

So. What on earth have you men been
doing? Was it insane?

Must have been madness, was it?

Well I'll answer what I think
was your first inquiry, first.

We disembarked initially
at the village of Nimes,

which shares it's name with a much
larger town in the south but is obviously a separate place.

Cock-up! Hope somebody got
their balls roasted for that one.

No, it wasn't a cock-up, we were at
the right Nimes. It's just true that it shares it's name.

It may not be of interest.

Anyway, we were reinforcing
an area of the line. Here we go!

Supported by a battalion
from Frew on our right.

Oh, God, weren't stuck with those
bastards, were you?

Well, they did suffer very
heavy casualties.

Oh, dear, got a bit of a bloody
nose, did they?!

50 or so of them
died in the initial attack.

Jesus Christ. That's...

That's awful. The Murphy boys were
all killed. Three brothers.

Youngest 17.

France is pretty, though I'd rather
see it in peacetime.

I might be going actually, when
the old war's over. Treat myself.

Come, if you want.

Thanks. Three words.
Lwar Wy Rew - can't even say it!

Loire Wine Route. There we go.
Fancy it?

I'll pencil you in.

I used to really enjoy these
sort of Army knees-up.

Now I'm leaving it all behind. The
bonus is I've got a beautiful new

girlfriend to share my new
life with.

Oh, hold up. Girlfriend.
You're a dark horse, Harold.

Who's the filly? I met her when she
started writing letters to me at the front.

Oh, yes,
I'm familiar with that scheme.

I'll introduce you, although we've
to keep it a bit hush-hush

because she was seeing some
other bloke in the village.

Oh, scandal!

Also called George actually.
Also called George?

Also called...

what's her name? Winky.
It is Winky in the end.

NCO's a fucking enormous bloke.

Anyway I'm thinking, he looks
like trouble. But a laugh, you know?

I get my three hours' sleep and I
get up, I'm ready to do my watch.

I said, where's the big bloke from
last night? But he's already dead.

He's gone out, first night
on patrol, and got hit.

We didn't know there were any
Germans on that part of the line.

That was quite a shock.

Yeah, yeah, reminds me of something
that happened here actually.

Right. Can't imagine what this is,
but...

One day, Cecil decided to climb
the biggest tree in the village.

I don't know.
He's just... he's a lunatic.

Anyway, it doesn't quite go to plan
- he gets stuck in the tree.

It's a plum tree as well,
so even worse.

Bit of a tourist magnet.
Lots of onlookers.

And this the truly unbelievable
thing -

we'd been having an unusually hot
autumn. The weather now turns.

Instead of the hot sun, clouds.

Clouds, every bit of the sky,
clouds. Even the temperature falls.

As in, it actually comes down a bit.

And to cut a long story short,

Cecil was up there for an hour
in just a loose shirt and a jacket.

And I think he had a scarf on
as well.

Furious. Still living it down.

Hello, Winky.

I'd like you to meet George.

Hello, Winky. Well, um...
dunno really.

Did you manage to see Mrs Halesley
about your drain in the end?

Um. Yes, she's coming tomorrow.

Excellent. Fabulous.
Leaky spigot, Harold.

So you two know each other then?

Vaguely.

Well.

You've met Harold, I hear.

Just a bit...!

Wonderful. Tremendous.

I was under the impression you had
another man in the village, Winky?

Apparently that relationship's
become very difficult.

Relationships aren't simple, mate.

One faulty spigot - you don't throw
out the whole system, you plug the leak.

Mrs Halesley's throwing out
the whole system.

Forget the spigot, Winky.
You brought it up. OK. Let's just...

Winky, my dear, do you mind
if I borrow your...

Well, blow me down, your boyfriend,
for a second?

I think you should go back to war
at the earliest convenience.

What? What do you mean?

Turns out you can serve us best
if you're actually in France.

At the front.

Right in the line of fire.

Spreading doubt in the trenches?
Yes, that works. Good idea.

It's brilliant.

That way I can engage
with the soldiers directly,

start a mass desertion, the likes
of which the army has never seen.

Whatever, really. The most important
thing is for you to tell this girl of yours, what's her name? Winky.

That's the one. Tell her that your
duties as a pacifist

require you to go back into the army
in, certainly, the medium to long-term.

Feeling left out, Cecil?

No.

It can't be easy for you.
Here, have a piece of cake.

Is that from our hamper?
No, it's fresh out of the oven.

It's made with figs.
Really, that's my favourite.

I know. Also a good amount
of ginger in there. Get away!

That's my second favourite thing.
That's right.

And then one final touch - a nice
thick layer of marzipan on top.

I see. Oh, no. You're not still
acutely allergic to marzipan, are you?

I can't believe you've baked a cake
purely so that I can't have any.

What are you talking about?

So it's just a coincidence that it's got a
layer of, effectively, poison on top? Yes.

I suppose I could peel
the marzipan off.

I have also mixed it into the body
of cake. Shitloads of it.

Would you like a piece? Cecil can't
have any. He's got a sensitive stomach.

I thought it was your feet.
And flat feet, as well!

My goodness, Cecil, what else
is wrong with you?

Hay-fever? Constipation?
Don't open it out, Agnes.

Acne. Oops. Dandruff.

At least dandruff's real.
Flat feet isn't even a real thing.

It is a real thing. Ingrowing teeth.
That's more like it!

Hair-ache.

Verrucas!
Back on the real ones.

Depression.
Where's depression come from?

Spot on your bum.

Bert?!
That IS true!

OK! Fine!
I'll have the cake!

It will send my digestive system
into a state of severe shock, but...

No, you're right, irrelevant.
Cheers!

Your very good health.

Mmmm. Delicioussshh...

I'm writing this off, as an image.

Don't let on you fancy him, Agnes!

Cecil, please.
She doesn't fancy him.

Hello? Excuse me?

Is something the matter?

No. I just thought you looked
like you needed some company.

Well, we don't. You've misread
the situation massively.

On yer bike, mate.

Well, fine. Kissing's lost a lot of
its romantic connotations these days, anyway, hasn't it?

You kiss your mum, you kiss a dog.
Lovable mutt.

She'll probably be kissing me
in a minute, mate.

Oh, we will look back on this
and laugh, Agnes.

We will look back on this and laugh.

And regret it.

I've decided to stay in the army.

Oh, really?
I know. Be strong.

It's just that, with me being back
in the army, it would be...

It would be irresponsible of you.
It would be irresponsible of me

to enter into anything with you,
in case I got injured.

Or killed.

Or killed.

I'm so sorry, my dear.

That's alright.

No, I can't go back to France.

Not without knowing you'll be here
when I get back.

Hang it all, let's do it properly.

Let's get engaged.
Ah, now... Get engaged?!

Why not? We're both unattached.
And I don't have a ring, but...

Oh, well in that case...
I've got a ring.

Oh! Why would you say that?

You've got a ring?
It's not a very good one.

Thanks very much.
Were you gonna propose to me?

What's this? Um...
Winky might be getting engaged.

Hmm. Interesting. Where do you stand
on that, old chap? Not sure.

Think I'm in control.
Just... watching at this stage.

Havin' a bit of a watch.

Everyone! I've asked Winky to
marry me, and she's said yes!

Oh, Jesus, I can't even...
Oh, the ramifications.

Well done, mate. All the best.

She's wearing the ring, mate.
She wasn't this morning. Yeah.

I suppose. You wanted it on - bingo!
It's on. Call it a night.

Whose round? Agnes?

♪ When Belgium put the kibosh
on the Kaiser

♪ Europe took a stick
and made him sore

♪ When we get to Germany,
not the Kaiser it will be

♪ Oh, we won't be hoch the Kaiser
any more

♪ When Belgium put
the kibosh on the Kaiser... ♪

Alright? What's going on?

He's had a right shocker.
Winky's engaged to someone else!

Course she has. Pretty bad to be
engaged to just George!

He's really in pieces about it.
I'm having a lot of fun.

Excuse me. Can I have your attention
for a moment.

I've just received a telegram
from the DCO in Frew.

Booooo!

"Frew".
It's a nice part of the world, Cecil!

The trenches South of Mons have been
sustaining severe losses

for the past 48 hours
and we're the lucky buggers

who've been deployed to assist them.
How long do we have?

You should all go home right away,

start saying goodbye to your
families.

Might as well polish these off.

Well, that was good.

Good to see them.
I agree. It's a relief they're gone.

Tried to take my woman, Agnes.
Not your woman.

And nicked my bike.
Not your bike.

All I'm saying is, they didn't do
themselves any favours with regard to being invited back.

Right, think it's action time
vis-a-vis me vomiting marzipan.

See you out front.

Women, stop what you're doing.

In honour of our brave men
returning to battle,

and for those who may not return,

I would like to propose a minute
of silence

to reflect on their sacrifice.

Oh, good, wonderful...
Hello, stomach!

Not pretty.

Hello, ladies.

Gladys's armed?! Shit! She's a shot
- killed seven geese this season!

We can't shake 'em!
They're faster than us!

Not all of them. Hesta's fading.
Looks like a hamstring.

Alright, Hesta? Ooh, looks painful.

Gotta stop smoking.

Oh, I love watching Agnes run -
look at those!

Eyes front, Bert! Spoilsport.

I'm flagging.
Keep it together, George.

We can do pub-to-cottage in under
three minutes, we've prepared for this.

Now the next question is, have I left
my front door key in the pub,

to which the answer is certainly
"Yes".

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0