All language subtitles for Chemical.Hearts.2020.WEBRip.x264-ION10[HI]

You are never more alive
than when you’re a teenager.

Your brain is flush
with chemicals

that can turn your life into
a story of epic proportions.

An A-minus feels like
the Pulitzer,

a lonely Saturday night
is an eternity of solitude,

and your lab partner becomes
the great love of your life.

And yet, by the start
of my senior year,

nothing interesting
or remarkable

had ever happened to me.

I was grateful for my life.

I had my best friends-
all two of them...

Relax.
You got this.

...parents who met

and fell in love
when they were my age,

and my writing.

But a platform was pointless

unless I actually had
something to say.

And I didn’t,

because nothing worth writing
about had ever happened to me.

Then, on the day
I found out about the job,

something finally happened.

Hi, guys.
Thanks for swinging by.

Come on in.
You want us both?

Yes, both of you
would be great.

Come on.

Grace just transferred
here from East River,

where she spent two years
writing for the Gazette.

You both possess remarkable
depth for writers your age.

Which is why I think
that you two will make

a truly dynamic
editor-in-chief duo.

No.
What?

Uh, one more time?

I don’t want
to be an editor.

But thank you.

Um...

Hey.

- Why’d you say no?
- What?

Why’d you say no?

Why do you care?
What?

Why do you care?

Uh... I don’t.

It’s just a good opportunity
for a writer, I guess.

I just don’t get
why you would say no.

All right, well, don’t let
it keep you up at night.

Oh, shit.

What?

I just missed
my bus.

Can’t walk?

Um... no,
I mean, I can.

It’s just far.

Uh, that’s why
I take the bus.

My house is up there.

I have a car. I can give
you a ride if you want.

Yeah?

Thanks.

Hey, so you like
"Nehradah"?

Neruda.

Oh.

Oh. Um...

Yeah, well,
I only read a stanza,

but I thought
it was really beautiful.

You think so?

Yeah. Do you not?

No, I just think
that’s what people say

when they read a poem
that they don’t understand.

Hmm.

Finish it.

And let me know if you
still feel the same way.

Huh.
It’s a cool place.

How come you walk to
school if you have a car?

I don’t like driving.

- Do you have a license?
- Yeah.

♪ l’d take care of you ♪

It’s a good song.

♪ If you ask me to ♪

You live in a house like
this, but you don’t have a car?

- I guess my grades aren’t good enough for a car, so...
- Hmm.

Thanks a lot.

Uh...

Well,
l’ll see you tomorrow?

Okay.

Henry.
What’s up, Suds?

You, uh, just get back
or something?

Mmm, no.
Just leaving.

l’m late.

So, uh,
who’s the girl?

- What girl?
- The one that drove Henry home.

A girl drove you
home?

She left her car
here and walked away.

Run.

Yeah, when are you gonna
move back out again?

Ignore her.
She’s declared war on love.

No, just on
cheating assholes.

Will you see him
today? Oh, my God.

He’s my attending,
Mom.

l’ll see him
several times today.

So, how was
the first day back?

Good. Yeah.
It was good.

Did you get it?

Uh...

- Yeah.
- Oh.

Yeah, you did.

Congratulations,
sweetie.

Nice work.

Okay, got to
go. Love you, guys.

So, who’s the girl?

♪ l’d take care of you ♪

♪ If you’d ask me to ♪

♪ In a year or two ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

"I do not love you
as if you were the salt-rose,

topaz or arrow of carnations
that propagate fire.

I love you as certain
dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow
and the soul. "

"... the shadow
and the soul. "

"I love you like the plant
that does not bloom,

but carries
within itself, hidden,

the light of those flowers. "

"... thanks to your love,
lives darkly in my body... "

"... a certain solid fragrance
that has risen from the earth.

I love you without knowing
how or when or from where.

I love you straightforwardly,
without complexities or pride,

in which there is
no you nor I,

so close that your hand
upon my chest is mine.

So close that your hand upon
my chest is mine.

So close that your eyes close
as I dream. "

- I have no idea what you said, but it worked.
- What?

I think the newspaper’s gonna
be a really good thing for her.

We will have four issues- the
first in November, the last in June.

The first three are
garden-variety periodicals:

hard-hitting news, sports,
features, the like.

But the last one,
that’s where we get creative.

With the help of the group,
Henry will choose a theme,

and you will have carte
blanche to explore that theme

as you see fit.

That last issue will be
this team’s legacy,

an opportunity to share
your accrued wisdom

with the students
behind you.

l’m not just talking about the
four years that you’ve spent

within the walls
of this building.

I am talking
bigger than that.

I am talking about the totality
of your 17 years on this planet.

Last but not least,
Grace here joins us

from our neighboring school,
East River Preparatory,

and will lend Henry a helping
hand with all things editorial.

Now, here’s what Kyle and his
team did for last year’s final issue.

Um, l’m sorry.
Uh, Kyle sucks.

Very constructive, La.

Well, okay, um...

the final issue last year
did kind of suck.

All right.

Um, hey, so I don’t
know what your thoughts...

So,
l’m not writing.

If you have something to
say, you can just say it yourself,

and l’ll help with, like,
editing and design and...

I handle design.

Well, everything
other than design then.

But just not...
just not writing.

And l’m
assistant editor,

because apparently you
worked very hard for this,

so it should be
all yours.

Looks like
Cora’s into you again.

Yo, what is the deal
with her?

She’s making eyes at me,
laughing at all my jokes,

and it’s like this
air pocket that’s, like,

connecting us, and it’s just
filled with, like, marshmallows,

gummy bears, and freakin’
bubble gum and sparklies,

and it’s just like,
if I eat it,

l’m gonna get another cavity
like last year, and I can’t.

Hmm,
good metaphor.

Thank you.
I appreciate it.

Hey, Grace.
Hankard.

I, um...
This is our bus!

...actually didn’t get
a chance to tell you,

I finished that poem.

And, um... yeah.

I still think
it’s beautiful,

but not in the, uh,
normal kind of bullshit way.

Um, which, uh,
which I think is also

kind of what the poem’s
about, ’cause, you know,

Neruda’s love for her doesn’t
come from, like, uh...

sunshine and roses
and cliché stuff.

You know, it comes
from, um, her... flaws

and her imperfections,
like, darker places.

Hankard! Uh, comes from...

Come on,
you flirt!

...I guess who she has
the potential to be

and not just
who she is.

So, I don’t know.

So, beautiful in that
kind of way, you know.

You’re gonna
miss your bus again.

I see you.

What’s he doing?

Um, you think I could
get another ride?

Sure.

♪ l’d take care of you ♪

♪ If you’d ask me to ♪

Thanks for letting me
drive myself home again.

Where do you go to?
Why do you go?

What are your colors?
What are your moods?

To see you, I turn.
To know you, I burn.

- Okay. Bye.
- Oh, my God,

it kills me
when she speaks Spanish.

Don’t you want to say, "What’s up?"
Why? So she can ghost me again?

I mean...
See you, guys.

Uh, see you.

Bye.
Uh-huh.

Bye.

Fuck.

Meh.

Meh.
Meh-meh.

What was that little
"meh-meh" thing?

Uh... oh,
um... um...

I just- we-
when we’re just,

um, I guess, annoyed,
we just do that.

I don’t know.
Mmm.

Um...

Uh, you think you’d give
me a ride today, maybe?

Hey, do you want to come in
and hang out or something?

I can’t today.

Okay.

Um...

l’ll just see you
tomorrow then, so... Okay.

Henry?

Hmm?

Meet me here
at 6:00.

Okay.

Yeah, I can meet- l’ll
meet you there at 6:00.

Yeah.

Bring a loaf
of bread.

- What happened to your car?
- It’s back at my house.

Did you drive it back
and then you walked here?

We don’t need it.

Come on.

It was a cotton mill
in the 1800s,

and then...

they made plastic bottles until
it shut down in 1989, I think.

You have to be quiet.

- Whoa.
- Shh.

You’ll scare them away.

Come here.

Have you ever
had a girlfriend?

Uh, no.

Uh, not really.

Why not?

Uh... You ever had a boyfriend?

No.

So what’s the deal?

I don’t know.

Um...

l’m not really good
at this stuff.

Well, I thought
you were a writer.

Uh... yeah,
I mean, exactly.

I could probably
go home right now

and write you something about
why l’ve never had a girlfriend,

like an essay
or whatever.

Oh, so you just
have to edit everything.

No,
it’s not editing.

It’s just, writing, I think,
sometimes helps me...

understand myself,
I guess, ’cause...

a lot of times, I don’t really
know how I feel about something

until I really sit down
and think about it.

But, I mean, you haven’t
shared much either.

I did some of my
physical therapy in a pool.

Nine months ago,

the car swerved
coming around a bend

and hit the rock barrier
and the car flipped.

Not that it really
even matters.

When I look at that,

it reminds me

that people are just
the ashes of dead stars.

We’re just a collection
of atoms that...

come together for a
brief period of time,

and then...
we fall apart.

When all of this
is over,

and we’re dispersed back
into nothingness...

we have
a clean slate.

It’s like having all of
your sins wiped away.

Sure you don’t want
to write for the paper?

What sins do you need
wiped away?

I used to be a vandal.

You did this?

When I was 14.

What is that,
like, Latin?

What’s it mean?

l’m tired.
l’m gonna... head home.

Uh...

Do you want me to...

Can you find your way back?

Yeah. Uh...

But are you all
right? Yeah, fine.

Uh, thanks
for hanging out.

Um...

Yeah, sure. Anytime.

♪ Please don’t say we’re done
When l’m not finished ♪

♪ ’Cause I could give
So much more ♪

♪ Make you feel
Like never before ♪

♪ Welcome, they said
Welcome to the floor ♪

♪ It’s been a while
And you’ve found... ♪

Why are you
still up?

Um, just working
on this.

Is that the one Mom and
Dad got you on your birthday?

Mm-hmm.

Don’t- hey.
It’s still drying.

Touchy, touchy,
Henry.

♪ Sometimes I still
Need you ♪

♪ Sometimes I still need you ♪

♪ Sometimes I still
Need you... ♪

It is an odd hobby
for a 17-year-old boy.

♪ Sometimes I still need you ♪

Did you know that, uh,
heartbreak triggers

the same areas of the brain
as physical pain?

When I think
about him leaving me,

my brain sends a distress
signal to my nervous system.

And it elevates my blood
pressure and my heart rate,

giving me chest pains.

Okay.

♪ And I was struggling
To get in... ♪

It’s happening right now.

Do you want
me to go get Mom?

Oh, God, no,
please.

Jesus.

Henry. Um...

What’s next?
Yeah.

Um, uh, okay.

Um, I was thinking we
all could kind of just put out

a few ideas of themes
for the final issue.

No time
like the present.

How about a trippy Alice
in Wonderland theme?

You know, like,
we all dropped acid

and went down
the rabbit hole.

Now, that’s tight. I
could work with that.

Grace?

What?

Any ideas?

I don’t know.

None?

Yeah, that’s what
"I don’t know" means.

Can I go to the bathroom?
I have to pee.

Of course.

Just ask her what’s going on.

No,
I don’t know.

I feel like I don’t
know her like that yet.

I don’t know.
You should follow her.

What?
Yeah.

Don’t you want to see
where she goes?

Oh. What if she’s
hanging out with her boyfriend?

Oh, no.

l’m not gonna
stalk her.

Maybe I
was looking for you.

Clearly, I wasn’t
going to see you.

It just felt strange,

wanting to tell you...

Would you be down
to talk over maybe

some theme ideas or something?
Whatever you pick is fine.

Okay.

Should we just, like... I just run
my final selections by you then, or-

I mean, it really
doesn’t matter to me.

I just got a new
feature in from Jade,

so I was just
gonna edit that.

Oh.

l’d like to match those,
but instead I will match this.

Hey, Dad,
can I use the car?

Uh, sure, sure.
Where to?

Um...

I don’t know.
Nowhere, really.

So, where are you
going?

It’s not a
cross-examination.

I mean, it feels
like that.

Well, you’re asking us
to lend you our car,

and we’re asking a
simple question in return.

Okay, um, l’m just- I don’t
know. l’m just gonna go to Muz’s.

Now can I have the keys?
You’re not even using it.

You’re entitled
to your privacy.

If you don’t want us to
know something, say so.

But don’t insult us
with a lie.

It’s beneath you.

Just- You can Uber.

What? I can’t Uber. I
don’t have a credit card.

Well, then you’re
gonna have to walk.

Fuck!

Hi. Hey. What’s up?

So, I couldn’t sleep last night,

so I was searching through
Mrs. Klein’s syllabus,

and I noticed a very
interesting trend.

Uh...

Look at them.
Okay.

Um, yeah.

They’re, um,
all about young people?

And they
all involve suicide.

Romeo and Juliet
off themselves.

Werther
shoots himself.

Holden contemplates
suicide.

Conrad tries to kill himself
by slashing his wrists.

This is what you were up
thinking about last night?

Yeah.

Is that normal?
Oh, Jesus.

What? Well, I...

You...

You, uh, like,
seemed down this week,

so that’s a little
scary, I guess. Okay.

How do I
explain this?

Um... okay.

Think about what it means
to be a teenager. Okay?

Your parents
pressure you to succeed.

Your friends pressure you to
do shit you don’t want to do.

Social media pressures
you to hate your body.

It’s hard, even if you’re a
well-adjusted kid from a good family.

Okay.

So, now imagine you can’t be
with the person that you love,

like Romeo and Juliet
or Werther,

or you lose the person
that you love,

like Holden or Conrad.

There’s a reason why,
when every author,

from Shakespeare to Salinger,
writes about young people,

they can’t avoid
the truth, that...

being young
is so painful,

it’s almost, like,
too much to feel.

Yeah, are you, like...

suicidal or...

No. God.
I mean...

Look, l’m not gonna
kill myself.

But have I thought about what it would
be like to just not be here anymore?

Yeah.

And I don’t say that
casually, but I do say it

because hiding that shit and
not saying it makes it worse.

It should be talked about.

All of our shit
should be talked about.

Mmm.

The teenage years are...
limbo.

You’re somewhere between
being a kid and an adult,

and the world, uh,
tells you to be mature

and express yourself,
but the minute that you do,

it tells you to shut up.

The thing is, adults are just
scarred kids who were lucky enough

to make it
out of limbo alive.

Which is why...

the theme of our last issue
should be "Teenage Limbo. "

Yeah.

- Henry’s sister is studying
to become a neurosurgeon,

and she explained that the teenage
brain goes through an upgrade

before it matures
to an adult brain.

So, the upgrade is like an explosion
of connections and synapses

as we figure out
what’s right.

Or wrong.

What we like,
what we don’t like.

You know,
who we want to be.

Each page of the issue

is the brain refining
itself, figuring itself out,

until eventually
it’s out of limbo.

So dope.

Yeah. Dope.

All right. Sweet.

Um... so I think
we could kind of just

start a- kind of a discussion,
like what are we confused about,

what, uh,
maybe scares us.

Um, like,
are there things maybe

you keep inside
that you’re afraid to...

Um...

Do you have
something?

Um...

Well, yeah, I mean, I
do, but I was gonna...

I think I was gonna
write it, uh, which...

Hmm.

Um...

Uh, when Mike Johnson killed
himself a couple years ago,

um...

I realized that
I still had, um, this...

Hustler magazine that he
gave me when we were, like, 13

that, uh, he stole from
his dad’s collection.

And, um...

I don’t know.

I feel really stupid
admitting this,

but, um, kind of
freaked me out.

Like, I couldn’t really
sleep at night

with this magazine
in my drawer.

Um, like it was just
kind of...

like,
haunted or something.

Um...

And basically, it just was kind
of too important to throw away,

but it was also
too weird to keep,

so I went to the tree
by the art park,

one where he,
uh, hung himself,

and I, um,
just buried it there.

And, um...

Yeah. Um...

I don’t know. It was weird,
’cause for the first time,

I was old enough to
understand the gravity of death,

but I was also, um,
you know, young enough

that it all came down to just
a stupid, like, porn magazine.

l’m proud of you
for sharing that.

It must have been
hard for you.

Thanks.

Hey, why’d you
give up writing?

You’ve obviously
got a lot of ideas.

Somebody really important
to me... died.

And, um...

and I was asked to write
something, to say something,

like a eulogy, because everyone
knew that I was the writer,

and, you know, told me how
beautiful my words were, but...

Nothing came. I just
couldn’t find the words.

What?

Uh, oh, no,
it’s just funny.

Um, ’cause, you know, I
can’t find the words when I talk,

and you can’t find the
words when you write.

That just
made me laugh.

You know what I mean?

♪ Cold bones ♪

♪ Yeah, that’s my love... ♪

Thank you, anyways.
Yeah, yeah. I feel like it’s...

You don’t have to
drink it. It’s not that I don’t want it.

Yeah, sure...
Yeah.

♪ Ooh, does she know ♪

♪ That we bleed the same... ♪

You want to see
a movie this weekend?

I don’t think I can.

♪ Ooh... ♪

You got other plans?

No, I just have
a ton of stuff to do.

So, you used to run track?

Yeah, I was a sprinter.

Oh, what else did you do
in your previous life?

Oh, God.

Lit magazine, yearbook staff,
student government...

beer pong champion.

Um, first football game
is Friday night, if you want to go.

Not that I care,
but it’s fun.

We usually pregame,
and everyone goes.

That sounds fun, but I can’t.

Another time though.

What would you say is the
dumbest thing you’ve ever done?

Um, probably
when I put my finger

in an electric pencil sharpener
in first grade.

It didn’t go, um, super well.

What did
you think was gonna happen?

I guess I thought
it would trim my fingernail.

♪ In the night ♪

♪ Ooh, does she know
That we bleed the same? ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

I used to be good
at socializing.

I mean, I used to do it
all the time.

What changed?

I guess
I stopped seeing the point.

Sometimes it’s just easier
to slip into your own dark abyss

and forget the world exists.

♪ Did she run away... ♪

Yeah, I see her
in you sometimes,

like, these, um, flashes of
this girl that you used to be.

Um, but was she an act
and you’re more yourself now,

or is the Grace
that I know an act

until you feel comfortable
being yourself again?

I don’t know. People change.

There’s no way you’re the same
person you were when you were 14.

Hey, um...

What?

All right, so Heslin is having his
annual Halloween party tomorrow night.

And it doesn’t
have to be a big thing.

Doesn’t have to be
a date or whatever.

No, that’s not why.

I think it could...
That’s not why.

...maybe be,
um, just fun.

It’d be good to-
good for you,

kind of get back to doing
old Grace things. Um...

Oh, is the new Grace not
good enough for you or...

No. No, no.
That’s not what I meant.

Um, no.
I think, um...

Hey, hey.

Let’s go.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Your keys.

Can I come in?

You don’t have
to go somewhere?

No, l’m not going to
where I go today, so...

Okay, yeah. No, totally. Yeah?

Yeah, come in.

Give me two.

l’ll take three. But you
get three first. Here.

Hey, guys. What’s
up? Hey, Henry.

Hey.

Join us, bud. Uh,
can’t right now.

But this is Grace.

Hi!

Oh.
It’s Grace!

- Yeah.
- Yeah. You actually came in.

We’ve only seen
your car up until now.

Just gonna pick up
this stuff here.

♪ Oh, my love... ♪

How did this break?

Oh, um...

I broke that,
actually.

Uh, it’s called
Kintsukuroi.

It’s kind of this old-school
Japanese art form

where you mend back broken
pottery with seams of gold.

♪ Oh, my love ♪

♪ Take your time ♪

♪ See it through ♪

♪ l’d take care of you... ♪

Wait, uh,
is this...

Oh, it’s the song that
you like to play in your car.

Are you okay?

♪ In a year or two... ♪

Why are you- why
are you playing this?

I mean, I don’t know.
I like it. I...

Kind of reminds me
of us, I guess.

Hey. Hey.

l’m sorry I played
that. I didn’t know.

I thought...
I don’t know.

We listen to it all the
time in the car together.

Okay, but it’s not
our song, okay?

Okay. It’s not for you and me.

Okay. Who’s it for? What is it?

Dom.

He was my boyfriend.

He was driving the car, and I
fucked up my knee, but he...

Oh. l’m sorry.
I didn’t...

I understand if you don’t
want to, like-

if you don’t want to do
anything with me-

Hey.

Can you let me drive
you home? No, please.

Please stop, Henry. Why?

Because l’m fucked up,
okay? Come on. What’s wrong?

Can I drive you
home? Yes. No. Please.

Please? Come on. Why? No.

l’m messed up. It’s
okay. I don’t care.

No, it’s not!

It’s not when you realize that l’m
not one of your fucking vases, okay?

You guys think
this needs to be here?

- No.
- You’re right.

I don’t feel like
we needed it anyway.

It doesn’t make
sense. Seriously?

Hey, guys. Are you
going to Heslin’s tonight?

Yeah.
Maybe.

We might come through. Cool.

Well, I hope you do.

Hmm.

What time is Elks
picking us up?

Um, I do not know.
l’m not going, so...

No. No, no, no.
No, we’re going.

A little beautiful creature, who might be
a part of the fairy kingdom like myself,

just invited me to her
magical, enchanted forest.

And l’m gonna take
this opportunity to fly.

Meh.

"Meh" yourself.

Don’t dip out
’cause of that chick.

What?

I need you there
for moral support.

No, it’s not ’cause of her.
l’m not feeling well, that’s all.

Oh, my God.
Wow.

Elks has Kush.

What kind of Kush?

Take it easy, bro.
Easy in, easy out.

It’s a marathon,
not a sprint.

Yeah, I know.

Hey.
What’s up?

She’s already talking
to someone else.

Man, I knew I shouldn’t have gotten
my hopes up. Man, she’s just playing me.

Go.

Go. Go. I need
to ease into it, bro.

Why?

Henry Page.

I cannot. I can’t.

Bye, Henry.

...comes sprinting in,
his hands are over his face,

and he just pukes. He
just pukes everywhere.

No one knew what to do.

It was between this
tiny little crevice

between the wall
and the fridge-

l’m just gonna get
some water. What?

l’m just gonna
get some water.

Are you okay?
Yeah, l’m good.

Got you this.

Thank you.
Yeah.

What?

You look, um...

Thotty?

I was gonna say hot.

Well, it’s my costume
from last year.

Are you doing okay?

Yeah. In this moment,
l’m... l’m okay.

I think you’re the most
confusing human being

l’ve ever met.

And I think l’m just the
most confused human being

you’ve ever met
and that confuses you.

Yeah, well...

l’m, uh, pretty
trashed right now,

so I guess l’m even
more confused.

♪ l’m turning you up to getting
Down, down, down... ♪

Hey, l’ve been
looking for you.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

Uh, so last year,
I, uh...

I get it.

It was weird.

We can just be friends.

Cool.

I hooked up with a
lot of girls last summer.

Okay.

Yeah, uh, I was just
really confused after we...

you know.

I know.
I don’t know.

I tried to, uh,
figure that out, I guess.

But...

I realized that I didn’t feel
anything for any of them.

I don’t necessarily know
how to, um, label myself, but...

I know what I feel
when you’re in front of me.

It’s like, uh,
we are-

or, uh, we be.

Then let’s just be.

♪ And if it’s physical ♪

♪ Keep it subliminal ♪

♪ Show me what you want ♪

♪ Show me a piece
Of your heart ♪

♪ A piece of your love ♪

♪ l’m calling you up to getting
Down, down, down... ♪

♪ These niggas ain’t nothing
On you, baby ♪

♪ You got it, got it ♪

♪ The way you run shit
And make it rain so well ♪

♪ My Birkin bag... ♪

Oh, no.

I can’t dance.
No.

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ These niggas ain’t
’Bout it, ’bout it ♪

♪ These niggas ain’t nothing
On you, baby ♪

♪ You got it, got it ♪

♪ The way you run shit
And make it rain so well ♪

♪ My Birkin bag
My pinky ring ♪

♪ Coattail ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Don’t stop looking at me ♪

- ♪ Don’t stop looking at me ♪
- ♪ No, no ♪

♪ Don’t stop looking at me ♪

- ♪ Don’t stop looking at me ♪
- ♪ Don’t ♪

♪ Don’t stop looking at me ♪

- ♪ Don’t stop looking at me ♪
- ♪ Don’t ♪

♪ Don’t stop looking at me ♪

- ♪ Don’t stop looking at me ♪
- ♪ Don’t ♪

♪ Don’t stop looking at me ♪

♪ Don’t stop
Looking at me ♪

♪ Don’t stop... ♪

Wait, wait. Wait,
wait, wait. Hold on.

I hope you don’t have
high expectations...

’cause l’m probably
pretty rusty.

Well, I hope you don’t have
high expectations either,

’cause l’ve never
done this before.

Do you have a condom?

Yeah.
Yeah.

I should get it?
Get it.

Get it, okay.

Oh. Oh, God.

Let me do it.
Okay.

l’m sorry. I laugh
when l’m nervous.

Do you want me
to do it? Yeah. Sure.

Henry, Henry,
Henry, Henry. Yeah?

Don’t try to be
good at it, okay?

Just be here with me.

Okay.

Leave your message.

Um, hey, Grace.
Um, just want to say hi,

and that, um...

you know, despite
my lack of experience,

um, hope that, uh, last
night just kind of meant

a tiny fraction to you
as it meant to me.

And, yeah, um...

Then also, I promise if we ever
get the chance to do it again, um-

I mean,
’cause not that-

l’m not presumptuous enough
to think that we will,

but, like, if we do,
then, uh, you know,

I promise
that it’ll be better.

Uh, no,
that l’ll be better.

Um, ’cause, uh, you know,

um, practice does
make, uh, perfect.

So, uh, yeah.

Bye-bye.

Oh, fuck,
that was dumb.

What?

Surprise.
How did this happen?

It was just time.

Shit. All right.

Um, where are we going?

You’ll see.

♪ Monochrome
It’s a Saturn world ♪

♪ Lying beneath the rings ♪

♪ And they tell me
We don’t have a long time ♪

♪ Till our decline ♪

♪ All the grown men
Are set in their ways ♪

♪ Shining in the street ♪

♪ And they tell me
We don’t have a long time ♪

♪ A great design ♪

We used to come here
all the time before he died.

I loved this drive.

I want to be able
to love it again.

I needed you here.

I needed your support.

Hold this.

Is this
from the factory?

What does it mean?

"Save me,
and I will save you. "

That was us.

I want to move on.

♪ So let’s pretend ♪

♪ That we have no weight... ♪

l’m telling you,
Sharma...

...dropped his glasses
right into the toilet.

He nearly flushed them
down there.

But he fished them out, ’cause
he got the same glasses on.

♪ We’re young, have time... ♪

No, I sw-
I...

Can I join you guys?

♪ Out we run ♪

Okay.
Okay, got it?

Yeah, that was very
helpful. Okay, good.

Thank you.
You’re welcome.

Hey, with all
the news that’s fit to print,

your first issue!

Congratulations!

Well...
Hmm. Yeah.

♪ I won’t give it up tonight ♪

♪ I won’t give it up
Tonight ♪

♪ I won’t give it up tonight ♪

♪ I won’t give it up
Tonight ♪

Stay here.

Whose car is that?
Stay here, Henry.

Aren’t you
supposed to remember that?

No, I don’t
remember that!

I don’t
want- No, no. Go! Go!

Hey.

That your mom?

No.

Yeah.
It doesn’t... matter.

You all right?

l’m fine.
Can we go?

So do you live
with your dad?

I mean,

I just feel like I don’t know
anything about your family.

Well, yeah. Well,
okay, you know enough.

Something obviously
just happened,

so I don’t know how
l’m supposed to help you-

You don’t.
You don’t help me.

I didn’t ask for your help,
so stop trying to help me.

Stop trying to fix me,
all right?

Oh, look at this.

It’s a lollygagging
convention in here.

Let’s go, people.

We have three more
issues to plan.

l’d love to see
a little focus, please.

Henry, where’s
your partner in crime?

I don’t know.

She sick?

I don’t know.

Today’s the anniversary
of her accident.

Oh, dear. I, um...
I didn’t know that.

Yeah. East River had a
candlelight vigil for her boyfriend.

Does she drive?
Does she have her license?

Should we be...

You’re probably
right about that.

Leave your message.

I would think so.
Would you?

Yeah.

I don’t know.
Muck around.

Muck around a little more. Muck.

What? Stop it.
No. Ow.

Stop.
Muck around.

Hankard. Hankard.
Yo, where you going?

Henry?

That you?

Yeah.

Come on in.

I must have fallen asleep
in front of the tube.

l’m Martin, by the way.

Oh.

This is my wife Sarah.

Hi.
Hello.

Grace has talked
a lot about you.

Says you’ve been
a good friend.

Yeah, I just wanted to
make sure that she was okay,

’cause I didn’t
talk to her today.

Um, and, you know,

given what day it is,
I... I, uh...

Well, she should be home
pretty soon.

You can wait upstairs
if you want.

Um, well, thank you. It
was good meeting you guys.

Yeah. Nice
meeting you, Henry. Yeah.

So now you know.

Do you live here?
Yeah.

I moved in a month before the
accident to get away from my mom.

She was drinking a lot, and
she was in really bad shape.

But you’re still here.

Where else was I supposed to
go, my mom’s boyfriend’s couch?

You went back for that?

Do you even
wash his clothes?

’Cause you wear
his clothes, right?

l’m doing the best
that I can.

You’re doing the best you can,
but you’re living in his fucking room?

We grew up together.

He was...
he was my family.

l’m not asking you
to let him go.

l’m giving you
all that I can.

And this... confusion
and this craziness

is what that looks like.

And you can’t handle it,
but I never expected you to.

What else could I
possibly give you?

What else can you give me?

Are you fucking...

Oh, this is crazy.
This is crazy.

Just stop.
No, you stop!

Stop leading me on!
I just-

I didn’t start dating you
out of nowhere or something.

I told you
to leave me alone.

Yeah, but then
you told me not to.

Well, because I don’t know.

Because I don’t know.

I know.
I don’t know.

l’m confused, Henry.

I don’t know.
I know!

l’ve known since, like, the
very beginning that I love you.

I can’t pretend to be better
because that’s what you want.

You said you wanted
to get better. I do.

l’m not ready yet.
l’m not-

I do, but l’m not
ready yet.

Well, I...

I don’t care.
All right?

Yes, you do. I... No, I don’t.

I don’t care.

Seriously, I want you
exactly the way you are.

But you just got to
let me in and talk to me.

I love you.

Why do you kiss me
like that?

Like what?

Like you’re in love
with me.

It’s the only way
I know how.

Plate’s for you
in the oven, toots.

- Henry?
- What?

What’s wrong?
Nothing.

What’s wrong?
Nothing.

Come here.
Come on.

We just want to know
what’s going on.

Is it Grace?

It’s just regular shit that
regular people go through

that you are not
gonna understand.

Oh, come on. We’re
not regular people?

No. No. Are you
fucking kidding me?

Your relationship’s been
perfect since you were my age.

I got this. No, no, no, no, no.

We should go.
Mom.

He’s right.
You don’t understand.

I got it.

Did you guys break up?
Yeah.

I mean, I don’t even know
if we were actually together.

Maybe it’s just
a bump in the road.

No, she doesn’t want me.

What happened?

She’s in love
with someone else.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

You want the good
news or the bad news?

Neither.

Well, the bad news is
it’s gonna hurt.

Your brain has gotten
used to a steady stream

of dopamine and
oxytocin. Here we go again.

Yeah, I know. l’m sorry,
but that’s what causes

all those blissed-out
feelings of love.

And now it’s replaced
with stress hormones.

They’re gonna make you
feel like garbage.

Headaches, tight muscles,
tight chest.

Your body’s craving
those feel-good chemicals.

It’s basically withdrawal.

Oh, awesome.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yesterday was the first day
I didn’t think about him.

And tomorrow
l’m going on my first date.

Henry.
Hmm?

Love- it’s a chemical
reaction that comes and goes.

Here’s the good news:
so is heartbreak.

Your brain adjusts.

Your body chemistry
changes back to normal.

It’s all
a waste of time.

Oh, no.

Hey.

Would you take it
all back if you could?

You can’t.

She’s a part of you now.

Are you trying to...

Are you gonna copy me
this whole time? Okay.

No, but I actually have
a real question. Wait.

You can’t do that.
What’s over there?

I did it.

I did it.

Where you going?

Um...
I don’t know.

Just don’t want
to watch this.

Wow.

You just can’t be happy
for anybody else. Boo.

Don’t even- don’t
do that.

Don’t do that.

Whoa.

Watch it!

Oh! Whoa,
did you see that?

Grace?

Are you
okay? I need to-

- I need to tell you.
- What? What do you need?

I need to tell you.

- What?
- I need to say it, Dom.

I need to say it, Dom.

Okay, say it.

It should have been me.

It should have been me.

No. No.
It should have been me.

Yes, you fucking
asshole!

It was my fault!

No, it wasn’t,
Grace. Yes, it was.

- No, it wasn’t.
- You told me to stop teasing you.

You told me.

You told me,
and I didn’t listen.

I didn’t listen.
It’s okay.

I just wanted
to make you laugh.

- It’s okay. It’s okay.
- But you told me to stop.

Oh, l’m sorry.
It’s all right.

l’m sorry. l’m sorry!

It’s okay.
It’s okay.

It’s okay.

I felt him swerve.

And I knew, in that
fraction of a second,

that we were gonna crash.

And my last thought before
it happened was, "Shit. "

The last thought I was about to
have in my entire life was, "Shit. "

I didn’t think about Dom.

I didn’t even think
about him.

Does that make me
a bad person, Henry?

No.

Makes you a person.

I wonder what he was
thinking about.

I wonder what
his last thought was.

He was thinking
about you, Grace.

Guarantee it.

I was gonna marry him
in that dress.

No, you keep it.
It’s cold out.

Quick
announcement, everyone.

If I might have everyone’s
attention for a moment, please.

Thank you.

So, I wanted to let you know
that Grace Town has decided

to take some time
off from school

to deal with
some personal issues.

And, um, when she returns,
she’d prefer to focus on her studies

rather than
the newspaper.

l’m sure we’ll all
miss her very much,

but, uh,
it does sound like

this is the best decision
for her at this time.

I know this news might
come as a disappointment,

but I want you to know
that I have the utmost faith

in this group of people

to produce three stellar issues.

When you’re a teenager,

the chemicals in your brain
drive you to make decisions

that rip you away from
the safety of your childhood

and drag you into
the wilderness of adulthood.

A friend once told me
that adults are just

scarred kids
who were lucky enough

to make it out of
teenage limbo alive.

I urge you to go outside

and look at the world
through that prism.

Look at your parents,
your older siblings.

Look at strangers
you pass on the street.

Look at them and imagine that,
at one point in their lives,

they too walked these halls.

They too felt
the unbearable loneliness,

the absolute
unbearable powerlessness

and darkness of being young.

Number two!

This is three.

We tend to think
of scars as ugly or imperfect...

as things
we want to hide or forget.

But they never go away.

As I write this,

my last editorial...

I finally understand

that scars are not reminders
of what’s been broken,

but rather
of what’s been created.

Hey.
Hey.

Let’s...

Congratulations.

Yeah, you too.

Thank you.
Yeah.

Where are you
off to next year?

l’m gonna go
to Bennington.

It’s a school
in Vermont.

It’s good for writing.
Nice.

What are you doing?

Uh, l’m taking
a year off.

Just continuing
therapy.

Oh.

Yeah, I was never gonna
be ready until I was...

ready, you know?

Of course you know.

Yeah.

I have to go find
my words again.

Yeah.

You will.

I just want to say...

you are an extraordinary
collection of atoms, Henry Page.

Hey, is that
Hankard?

Hankard!
Hankard!

Let’s go.

Um, I think
l’m gonna walk.

Gonna walk?

Hey, whoa.

l’m gonna walk too.

♪ Feel this burning
Love of mine ♪

♪ It’s no good
Unless it’s real... ♪

It’s a long walk.
Want some company?

Yeah, I do.

♪ Wild-eyed turning ♪

♪ Till we’re running from it ♪

♪ l’d take care of you ♪

♪ If you’d ask me to ♪

♪ In a year or two ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ You say swimming in the lake ♪

♪ We’ll come across a snake ♪

♪ It is real
And then it’s fake ♪

♪ Feel its heartbeat ♪

♪ Feel what you heat ♪

♪ Far so fast
It feels too late ♪

♪ l’d take care of you ♪

♪ If you’d ask me to ♪

♪ In a year or two ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ l’ll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That’s true ♪

♪ l’ll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That’s true ♪

♪ l’ll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That’s true ♪

♪ l’ll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That’s true ♪

♪ l’ll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That’s true ♪

♪ l’ll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That’s true ♪

♪ l’ll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That’s true ♪

♪ l’ll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That’s true ♪

♪ l’ll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That’s true ♪

♪ l’ll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That’s true ♪

♪ l’ll take care of you ♪

♪ Take care of you ♪

♪ That’s true ♪