All language subtitles for Chemical.Hearts.2020.720p.AMZN.WEBRip.800MB.x264-GalaxyRG_Subtitles01.ENG

You are never more alive
than when you’re a teenager.

Your brain is flush
with chemicals

that can turn your life into
a story of epic proportions.

An A-minus feels like
the Pulitzer,

a lonely Saturday night
is an eternity of solitude,

and your lab partner becomes
the great love of your life.

And yet, by the start
of my senior year,

nothing interesting
or remarkable

had ever happened to me.

-I was grateful for my life.
-

I had my best friends--
all two of them...

Relax.
You got this.

...parents who met

and fell in love
when they were my age,

and my writing.

But a platform was pointless

unless I actually had
something to say.

And I didn’t,

because nothing worth writing
about had ever happened to me.

Then, on the day
I found out about the job,

something finally happened.

Hi, guys.
Thanks for swinging by.

Come on in.
You want us both?

Yes, both of you
would be great.

Come on.

Grace just transferred
here from East River,

where she spent two years
writing for the Gazette.

You both possess
remarkable depth
for writers your age.

Which is why I think
that you two will make

a truly dynamic
editor-in-chief duo.

No.
What?

Uh, one more time?

I don’t want
to be an editor.

But thank you.

Um...

Hey.

-Why’d you say no?
-What?

Why’d you say no?

Why do you care?
What?

Why do you care?

Uh... I don’t.

It’s just
a good opportunity
for a writer, I guess.

I just don’t get
why you would say no.

All right, well,
don’t let it
keep you up at night.

Oh, shit.

What?

I just missed
my bus.

Can’t walk?

Um... no,
I mean, I can.

It’s just far.

Uh, that’s why
I take the bus.

My house is up there.

I have a car.
I can give you
a ride if you want.

Yeah?

Thanks.

Hey, so you like
"Nehradah"?

Neruda.

Oh. Um...

Yeah, well,
I only read a stanza,

but I thought
it was really beautiful.

You think so?

Yeah. Do you not?

No, I just think
that’s what people say

when they read a poem
that they don’t understand.

Hmm.

Finish it.

And let me know
if you still
feel the same way.

Huh.
It’s a cool place.

How come
you walk to school
if you have a car?

I don’t like driving.

-Do you have a license?
-Yeah.

It’s a good song.

You live in a house
like this,
but you don’t have a car?

-I guess my grades aren’t
good enough for a car, so...
-Hmm.

Thanks a lot.

Uh...

Well,
I’ll see you tomorrow?

Okay.

Henry.
What’s up, Suds?

You, uh, just get back
or something?

Mmm, no.
Just leaving.

I’m late.

So, uh,
who’s the girl?

-What girl?
- The one
that drove Henry home.

A girl
drove you home?

She left her car here
and walked away.

Run.

Yeah, when are you gonna
move back out again?

Ignore her.
She’s declared war on love.

No, just on
cheating assholes.

Will you see him
today?
Oh, my God.

He’s my attending,
Mom.

I’ll see him
several times today.

So, how was
the first day back?

Good. Yeah.
It was good.

Did you get it?

Uh...

-Yeah.
- Oh.

Yeah, you did.

Congratulations,
sweetie.

Nice work.

Okay, got to go.
Love you, guys.

So, who’s the girl?

"I do not love you
as if you were the salt-rose,

topaz or arrow of carnations
that propagate fire.

I love you as certain
dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow
and the soul."

"...the shadow
and the soul."

"I love you like the plant
that does not bloom,

but carries
within itself, hidden,

the light of those flowers."

"...thanks to your love,
lives darkly in my body..."

"...a certain solid fragrance
that has risen from the earth.

I love you without knowing
how or when or from where.

I love you straightforwardly,
without complexities or pride,

in which there is
no you nor I,

so close that your hand
upon my chest is mine.

So close that your hand upon
my chest is mine.

So close that your eyes close
as I dream."

-I have no idea what you said,
but it worked.
-What?

I think the newspaper’s
gonna be a really
good thing for her.

We will have four issues--
the first in November,
the last in June.

The first three
are garden-variety
periodicals:

hard-hitting news, sports,
features, the like.

But the last one,
that’s where we get creative.

With the help of the group,
Henry will choose a theme,

and you will have
carte blanche
to explore that theme

as you see fit.

That last issue will be
this team’s legacy,

an opportunity to share
your accrued wisdom

with the students
behind you.

I’m not just talking
about the four years
that you’ve spent

within the walls
of this building.

I am talking
bigger than that.

I am talking about the totality
of your 17 years on this planet.

Last but not least,
Grace here joins us

from our neighboring school,
East River Preparatory,

and will lend Henry
a helping hand
with all things editorial.

Now, here’s what Kyle
and his team did for
last year’s final issue.

Um, I’m sorry.
Uh, Kyle sucks.

Very constructive, La.

Well, okay, um...

the final issue last year
did kind of suck.

All right.

Um, hey,
so I don’t know
what your thoughts...

So,
I’m not writing.

If you have something
to say, you can just
say it yourself,

and I’ll help with,
like, editing
and design and...

I handle design.

Well, everything
other than design then.

But just not...
just not writing.

And I’m
assistant editor,

because apparently
you worked very hard
for this,

so it should be
all yours.

Looks like
Cora’s into you again.

Yo, what is the deal
with her?

She’s making eyes at me,
laughing at all my jokes,

and it’s like this
air pocket that’s, like,

connecting us,
and it’s just filled with,
like, marshmallows,

gummy bears, and freakin’
bubble gum and sparklies,

and it’s just like,
if I eat it,

I’m gonna get another cavity
like last year, and I can’t.

Hmm,
good metaphor.

Thank you.
I appreciate it.

Hey, Grace.
Hankard.

I, um...
This is our bus!

...actually didn’t get
a chance to tell you,

I finished that poem.

And, um... yeah.

I still think
it’s beautiful,

but not in the,
uh, normal kind
of bullshit way.

Um, which, uh,
which I think is also

kind of what
the poem’s about,
’cause, you know,

Neruda’s love for her
doesn’t come from,
like, uh...

sunshine and roses
and cliché stuff.

You know,
it comes from,
um, her... flaws

and her imperfections,
like, darker places.

Hankard!
Uh,
comes from...

Come on,
you flirt!

...I guess who she has
the potential to be

and not just
who she is.

So, I don’t know.

So, beautiful in
that kind of way,
you know.

You’re gonna
miss your bus again.

I see you.

What’s he doing?

Um, you think I could
get another ride?

Sure.

Thanks for letting me
drive myself home again.

Where do you go to?
Why do you go?

What are your colors?
What are your moods?

To see you, I turn.
To know you, I burn.

-Okay. Bye.
-
Oh, my God,

it kills me
when she speaks Spanish.

Don’t you want to say,
"What’s up?"
Why? So she can ghost me again?

I mean...
See you, guys.

Uh, see you.

Bye.
Uh-huh.

Bye.

Fuck.

Meh.

Meh.
Meh-meh.

What was that little
"meh-meh" thing?

Uh... oh,
um... um...

I just-- we--
when we’re just,

um, I guess,
annoyed,
we just do that.

I don’t know.
Mmm.

Um...

Uh, you think
you’d give me
a ride today, maybe?

Hey, do you want
to come in and hang out
or something?

I can’t today.

Okay.

Um...

I’ll just see you
tomorrow then, so...
Okay.

Henry?

Hmm?

Meet me here
at 6:00.

Okay.

Yeah, I can meet--
I’ll meet you there
at 6:00.

Yeah.

Bring a loaf
of bread.

What happened to your car?
- It’s back at my house.

Did you drive it
back and then
you walked here?

We don’t need it.

-

Come on.

It was a cotton mill
in the 1800s,

and then...

they made plastic bottles
until it shut down
in 1989, I think.

You have to be quiet.

Whoa.
-Shh.

You’ll scare them away.

Come here.

Have you ever
had a girlfriend?

Uh, no.

Uh, not really.

Why not?

Uh...
You ever had
a boyfriend?

No.

So what’s the deal?

I don’t know.

Um...

I’m not really good
at this stuff.

Well, I thought
you were a writer.

Uh... yeah,
I mean, exactly.

I could probably
go home right now

and write you something
about why I’ve never
had a girlfriend,

like an essay
or whatever.

Oh, so you just
have to edit everything.

No,
it’s not editing.

It’s just,
writing, I think,
sometimes helps me...

understand myself,
I guess, ’cause...

a lot of times,
I don’t really know
how I feel about something

until I really sit down
and think about it.

But, I mean,
you haven’t
shared much either.

I did some of
my physical therapy
in a pool.

Nine months ago,

the car swerved
coming around a bend

and hit the rock barrier
and the car flipped.

Not that it really
even matters.

When I look at that,

it reminds me

that people are just
the ashes of dead stars.

We’re just a collection
of atoms that...

come together
for a brief period
of time,

and then...
we fall apart.

When all of this
is over,

and we’re dispersed back
into nothingness...

we have
a clean slate.

It’s like having
all of your sins
wiped away.

Sure you don’t want
to write for the paper?

What sins do you need
wiped away?

I used to be a vandal.

You did this?

When I was 14.

What is that,
like, Latin?

What’s it mean?

I’m tired.
I’m gonna... head home.

Uh...

Do you want me to...

Can you find your way back?

Yeah. Uh...

But are you
all right?
Yeah, fine.

Uh, thanks
for hanging out.

Um...

Yeah, sure. Anytime.

When I’m not finished

So much more

Like never before

Welcome to the floor

And you’ve found...

Why are you
still up?

Um, just working
on this.

Is that the one
Mom and Dad got you
on your birthday?

Mm-hmm.

Don’t-- hey.
It’s still drying.

Touchy, touchy,
Henry.

Need you

Need you...

It is an odd hobby
for a 17-year-old boy.

Did you know that, uh,
heartbreak triggers

the same areas of the brain
as physical pain?

When I think
about him leaving me,

my brain sends
a distress signal
to my nervous system.

And it elevates
my blood pressure
and my heart rate,

giving me chest pains.

Okay.

To get in...

It’s happening right now.

Do you want me
to go get Mom?

Oh, God, no,
please.

Jesus.

Henry.
Um...

What’s next?
Yeah.

Um, uh, okay.

Um, I was thinking
we all could
kind of just put out

a few ideas of themes
for the final issue.

No time
like the present.

How about a trippy
Alice in Wonderland
theme?

You know, like,
we all dropped acid

and went down
the rabbit hole.

Now, that’s tight.
I could work
with that.

Grace?

What?

Any ideas?

I don’t know.

None?

Yeah, that’s what
"I don’t know" means.

Can I go to the bathroom?
I have to pee.

Of course.

Just ask her what’s going on.

No,
I don’t know.

I feel like
I don’t know her
like that yet.

I don’t know.
You should follow her.

What?
Yeah.

Don’t you want to see
where she goes?

Oh.
What if she’s hanging out
with her boyfriend?

Oh, no.

I’m not gonna
stalk her.

-

Maybe I was looking
for you.

Clearly, I wasn’t
going to see you.

It just felt strange,

wanting to tell you...

-

Would you be down
to talk over maybe

some theme ideas
or something?
Whatever you pick is fine.

Okay.

Should we just, like...
I just run my final
selections by you then, or--

I mean, it really
doesn’t matter to me.

I just got
a new feature
in from Jade,

so I was just
gonna edit that.

Oh.

I’d like to match those,
but instead I will
match this.

Hey, Dad,
can I use the car?

Uh, sure, sure.
Where to?

I don’t know.
Nowhere, really.

So, where are you
going?

It’s not
a cross-examination.

I mean, it feels
like that.

Well, you’re asking us
to lend you our car,

and we’re asking
a simple question
in return.

Okay, um, I’m just--
I don’t know.
I’m just gonna go to Muz’s.

Now can I have the keys?
You’re not even using it.

You’re entitled
to your privacy.

If you don’t want us
to know something,
say so.

But don’t insult us
with a lie.

It’s beneath you.

Just-- You can Uber.

What? I can’t Uber.
I don’t have
a credit card.

Well, then you’re
gonna have to walk.

Hi.
Hey.
What’s up?

So,
I couldn’t sleep
last night,

so I was searching
through Mrs. Klein’s
syllabus,

and I noticed
a very interesting
trend.

Uh...

Look at them.
Okay.

Um, yeah.

They’re, um,
all about young people?

And they all
involve suicide.

Romeo and Juliet
off themselves.

Werther
shoots himself.

Holden contemplates
suicide.

Conrad tries
to kill himself
by slashing his wrists.

This is what
you were up thinking
about last night?

Yeah.

Is that normal?
Oh, Jesus.

What?
Well, I...

You...

You, uh, like,
seemed down this week,

so that’s a little
scary, I guess.
Okay.

How do I
explain this?

Um... okay.

Think about what it means
to be a teenager. Okay?

Your parents
pressure you to succeed.

Your friends
pressure you to do shit
you don’t want to do.

Social media
pressures you
to hate your body.

It’s hard, even if you’re
a well-adjusted kid
from a good family.

Okay.

So, now imagine you can’t be
with the person that you love,

like Romeo and Juliet
or Werther,

or you lose the person
that you love,

like Holden or Conrad.

There’s a reason why,
when every author,

from Shakespeare to Salinger,
writes about young people,

they can’t avoid
the truth, that...

being young
is so painful,

it’s almost, like,
too much to feel.

Yeah, are you, like...

suicidal or...

No. God.
I mean...

Look, I’m not gonna
kill myself.

But have I thought about
what it would be like
to just not be here anymore?

Yeah.

And I don’t
say that casually,
but I do say it

because hiding that shit
and not saying it
makes it worse.

It should be talked about.

All of our shit
should be talked about.

Mmm.

The teenage years are...
limbo.

You’re somewhere between
being a kid and an adult,

and the world, uh,
tells you to be mature

and express yourself,
but the minute that you do,

it tells you to shut up.

The thing is,
adults are just scarred kids
who were lucky enough

to make it
out of limbo alive.

Which is why...

the theme of our last issue
should be "Teenage Limbo."

Yeah.

- Henry’s sister is studying
to become a neurosurgeon,

and she explained
that the teenage brain
goes through an upgrade

before it matures
to an adult brain.

So, the upgrade
is like an explosion
of connections and synapses

as we figure out
what’s right.

Or wrong.

What we like,
what we don’t like.

You know,
who we want to be.

-Each page of the issue

is the brain
refining itself,
figuring itself out,

until eventually
it’s out of limbo.

So dope.

Yeah.
Dope.

All right.
Sweet.

Um... so I think
we could kind of just

start a--
kind of a discussion, like
what are we confused about,

what, uh,
maybe scares us.

Um, like,
are there things maybe

you keep inside
that you’re afraid to...

Um...

Do you have
something?

Um...

Well, yeah,
I mean, I do,
but I was gonna...

I think
I was gonna write it,
uh, which...

Hmm.

Um...

Uh, when Mike Johnson
killed himself
a couple years ago,

um...

I realized that
I still had, um, this...

Hustler magazine
that he gave me
when we were, like, 13

that, uh, he stole from
his dad’s collection.

And, um...

I don’t know.

I feel really stupid
admitting this,

but, um, kind of
freaked me out.

Like, I couldn’t really
sleep at night

with this magazine
in my drawer.

Um, like it was just
kind of...

like,
haunted or something.

Um...

And basically, it just
was kind of too important
to throw away,

but it was also
too weird to keep,

so I went to the tree
by the art park,

one where he,
uh, hung himself,

and I, um,
just buried it there.

And, um...

Yeah. Um...

I don’t know.
It was weird,
’cause for the first time,

I was old enough
to understand
the gravity of death,

but I was also, um,
you know, young enough

that it all came down
to just a stupid,
like, porn magazine.

I’m proud of you
for sharing that.

It must have been
hard for you.

Thanks.

Hey, why’d you
give up writing?

You’ve obviously
got a lot of ideas.

Somebody really important
to me... died.

And, um...

and I was asked
to write something,
to say something,

like a eulogy,
because everyone knew
that I was the writer,

and, you know,
told me how beautiful
my words were, but...

Nothing came.
I just couldn’t
find the words.

What?

Uh, oh, no,
it’s just funny.

Um, ’cause, you know,
I can’t find the words
when I talk,

and you can’t
find the words
when you write.

That just
made me laugh.

You know what I mean?

Thank you, anyways.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like it’s...

You don’t
have to drink it.
It’s not that I don’t want it.

Yeah, sure...
Yeah.

You want to see
a movie this weekend?

I don’t think I can.

You got other plans?

No, I just have
a ton of stuff to do.

So, you used to run track?

Yeah, I was a sprinter.

Oh, what else did you do
in your previous life?

Oh, God.

Lit magazine, yearbook staff,
student government...

beer pong champion.

Um, first football game
is Friday night,
if you want to go.

Not that I care,
but it’s fun.

We usually pregame,
and everyone goes.

That sounds fun, but I can’t.

Another time though.

What would you say is the
dumbest thing you’ve ever done?

Um, probably
when I put my finger

in an electric pencil sharpener
in first grade.

It didn’t go, um, super well.

What did
you think was gonna happen?

I guess I thought
it would trim my fingernail.

That we bleed the same?

I used to be good
at socializing.

I mean, I used to do it
all the time.

What changed?

I guess
I stopped seeing the point.

Sometimes it’s just easier
to slip into your own dark abyss

and forget the world exists.

Yeah, I see her
in you sometimes,

like, these, um,
flashes of this girl
that you used to be.

Um, but was she an act
and you’re more yourself now,

or is the Grace
that I know an act

until you feel comfortable
being yourself again?

I don’t know. People change.

There’s no way you’re
the same person you were
when you were 14.

Hey, um...

What?

All right, so Heslin is having
his annual Halloween party
tomorrow night.

And it doesn’t
have to be a big thing.

Doesn’t have to be
a date or whatever.

No, that’s not why.

I think it could...
That’s not why.

...maybe be,
um, just fun.

It’d be good to--
good for you,

kind of get back
to doing old Grace
things. Um...

Oh, is the new Grace
not good enough
for you or...

No. No, no.
That’s not what I meant.

Um, no.
I think, um...

Hey, hey.

Let’s go.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

Your keys.

Can I come in?

You don’t have
to go somewhere?

No, I’m not going
to where I go today,
so...

Okay, yeah.
No, totally.
Yeah?

Yeah, come in.

Give me two.

I’ll take three.
But you get three
first. Here.

Hey, guys.
What’s up?
Hey, Henry.

Hey.

Join us, bud.
Uh,
can’t right now.

But this is Grace.

Hi!

Oh.
It’s Grace!

-Yeah.
-Yeah. You actually came in.

We’ve only seen
your car up until now.

Just gonna pick up
this stuff here.

-

How did this break?

Oh, um...

I broke that,
actually.

Uh, it’s called
Kintsukuroi.

It’s kind of this
old-school Japanese
art form

where you mend back
broken pottery
with seams of gold.

Wait, uh,
is this...

Oh, it’s the song
that you like to play
in your car.

Are you okay?

Why are you--
why are you
playing this?

I mean, I don’t know.
I like it. I...

Kind of reminds me
of us, I guess.

Hey. Hey.

I’m sorry
I played that.
I didn’t know.

I thought...

We listen to it
all the time
in the car together.

Okay, but it’s not
our song, okay?

Okay.
It’s not for you
and me.

Okay.
Who’s it for?
What is it?

Dom.

He was my boyfriend.

He was driving the car,
and I fucked up my knee,
but he...

Oh. I’m sorry.
I didn’t...

I understand if you don’t
want to, like--

if you don’t want to do
anything with me--

Hey.

Can you let me
drive you home?
No, please.

Please stop,
Henry.
Why?

Because I’m fucked up,
okay?
Come on. What’s wrong?

Can I drive you
home?
Yes. No. Please.

Please?
Come on. Why?
No.

I’m messed up.
It’s okay.
I don’t care.

No, it’s not!

It’s not when you realize
that I’m not one of
your fucking vases, okay?

You guys think
this needs to be here?

No.
- You’re right.

I don’t feel like
we needed it anyway.

It doesn’t
make sense.
Seriously?

Hey, guys.
Are you going
to Heslin’s tonight?

Yeah.
Maybe.

We might
come through.
Cool.

Well, I hope you do.

Hmm.

What time is Elks
picking us up?

Um, I do not know.
I’m not going, so...

No. No, no, no.

A little beautiful creature,
who might be a part of
the fairy kingdom like myself,

just invited me
to her magical,
enchanted forest.

And I’m gonna take
this opportunity
to fly.

Meh.

"Meh" yourself.

Don’t dip out
’cause of that chick.

What?

I need you there
for moral support.

No, it’s not ’cause of her.
I’m not feeling well,
that’s all.

Oh, my God.
Wow.

Elks has Kush.

What kind of Kush?

-

Take it easy, bro.
Easy in, easy out.

It’s a marathon,
not a sprint.

Yeah, I know.

Hey.
What’s up?

She’s already talking
to someone else.

Man, I knew I shouldn’t have
gotten my hopes up.
Man, she’s just playing me.

Go.

Go. Go.
I need to ease
into it, bro.

Why?

Henry Page.

I cannot.
I can’t.

Bye, Henry.

...comes sprinting in,
his hands are over his face,

and he just pukes.
He just pukes
everywhere.

No one knew what to do.

It was between this
tiny little crevice

between the wall
and the fridge--

I’m just gonna
get some water.
What?

I’m just gonna
get some water.

Are you okay?
Yeah, I’m good.

-

Got you this.

Thank you.
Yeah.

What?

You look, um...

Thotty?

I was gonna say hot.

Well, it’s my costume
from last year.

Are you doing okay?

Yeah.
In this moment,
I’m... I’m okay.

I think you’re
the most confusing
human being

I’ve ever met.

And I think
I’m just the most
confused human being

you’ve ever met
and that confuses you.

Yeah, well...

I’m, uh,
pretty trashed
right now,

so I guess I’m even
more confused.

Down, down, down...

Hey, I’ve been
looking for you.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

Uh, so last year,
I, uh...

I get it.

It was weird.

We can just be friends.

Cool.

I hooked up
with a lot of girls
last summer.

Okay.

Yeah, uh, I was just
really confused after we...

you know.

I know.
I don’t know.

I tried to, uh,
figure that out, I guess.

But...

I realized that
I didn’t feel anything
for any of them.

I don’t necessarily
know how to, um,
label myself, but...

I know what I feel
when you’re in front of me.

It’s like, uh,
we are--

or, uh, we be.

Then let’s just be.

Of your heart

Down, down, down...

On you, baby

And make it rain so well

Oh, no.

I can’t dance.
No.

’Bout it, ’bout it

On you, baby

And make it rain so well

My pinky ring

-

-

-

-

Looking at me

Wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.

I hope you don’t have
high expectations...

’cause I’m probably
pretty rusty.

Well, I hope you don’t have
high expectations either,

’cause I’ve never
done this before.

Do you have a condom?

Yeah.
Yeah.

I should get it?
Get it.

Get it, okay.

Oh. Oh, God.

Let me do it.
Okay.

I’m sorry. I laugh
when I’m nervous.

Do you want me
to do it?
Yeah. Sure.

Henry, Henry,
Henry, Henry.
Yeah?

Don’t try to be
good at it, okay?

Just be here with me.

Okay.

Leave your message.
-

Um, hey, Grace.
Um, just want to say hi,

and that, um...

you know, despite
my lack of experience,

um, hope that,
uh, last night
just kind of meant

a tiny fraction to you
as it meant to me.

And, yeah, um...

Then also, I promise
if we ever get the chance
to do it again, um--

I mean,
’cause not that--

I’m not presumptuous enough
to think that we will,

but, like, if we do,
then, uh, you know,

I promise
that it’ll be better.

Uh, no,
that I’ll be better.

Um, ’cause, uh, you know,

um, practice does
make, uh, perfect.

So, uh, yeah.

Bye-bye.

Oh, fuck,
that was dumb.

What?

Surprise.
How did this happen?

It was just time.

Shit. All right.

Um, where are we going?

You’ll see.

It’s a Saturn world

We don’t have a long time

Are set in their ways

We don’t have a long time

We used to come here
all the time
before he died.

I loved this drive.

I want to be able
to love it again.

I needed you here.

I needed your support.

Hold this.

Is this
from the factory?

What does it mean?

"Save me,
and I will save you."

That was us.

I want to move on.

I’m telling you,
Sharma...

...dropped his glasses
right into the toilet.

He nearly flushed
them down there.

But he fished them out,
’cause he got
the same glasses on.

No, I sw--
I...

Can I join you guys?

Okay.
Okay, got it?

Yeah, that was
very helpful.
Okay, good.

Thank you.
You’re welcome.

Hey, with all the news
that’s fit to print,

your first issue!

Congratulations!

Well...
Hmm. Yeah.

Tonight

Tonight

Stay here.

Whose car is that?
Stay here, Henry.

Aren’t you supposed
to remember that?

No, I don’t
remember that!

I don’t want--
No, no. Go! Go!

Hey.

That your mom?

No.

Yeah.
It doesn’t... matter.

You all right?

I’m fine.
Can we go?

So do you live
with your dad?

I mean,

I just feel like
I don’t know anything
about your family.

Well, yeah.
Well, okay,
you know enough.

Something obviously
just happened,

so I don’t know how
I’m supposed to help you--

You don’t.
You don’t help me.

I didn’t ask for your help,
so stop trying to help me.

Stop trying to fix me,
all right?

Oh, look at this.

It’s a lollygagging
convention in here.

Let’s go, people.

We have three more
issues to plan.

I’d love to see
a little focus, please.

Henry, where’s
your partner in crime?

I don’t know.

She sick?

I don’t know.

Today’s the anniversary
of her accident.

Oh, dear. I, um...
I didn’t know that.

Yeah. East River
had a candlelight vigil
for her boyfriend.

-

Does she drive?
Does she have her license?

Should we be...

You’re probably
right about that.

Leave your message.
-

I would think so.
Would you?

Yeah.

I don’t know.
Muck around.

Muck around
a little more.
Muck.

What? Stop it.
No. Ow.

Stop.
Muck around.

Hankard. Hankard.
Yo, where you going?

Henry?

That you?

Yeah.

Come on in.

I must have fallen asleep
in front of the tube.

I’m Martin, by the way.

Oh.

This is my wife Sarah.

Hi.
Hello.

Grace has talked
a lot about you.

Says you’ve been
a good friend.

Yeah, I just wanted
to make sure
that she was okay,

’cause I didn’t
talk to her today.

Um, and, you know,

given what day it is,
I... I, uh...

Well, she should be home
pretty soon.

You can wait upstairs
if you want.

Um, well, thank you.
It was good meeting
you guys.

Yeah.
Nice meeting you, Henry.
Yeah.

So now you know.

Do you live here?
Yeah.

I moved in a month
before the accident
to get away from my mom.

She was drinking a lot,
and she was in really
bad shape.

But you’re still here.

Where else was
I supposed to go,
my mom’s boyfriend’s couch?

You went back for that?

Do you even
wash his clothes?

’Cause you wear
his clothes, right?

I’m doing the best
that I can.

You’re doing the best
you can, but you’re living
in his fucking room?

We grew up together.

He was...
he was my family.

I’m not asking you
to let him go.

I’m giving you
all that I can.

And this... confusion
and this craziness

is what that looks like.

And you can’t handle it,
but I never expected you to.

What else could I
possibly give you?

What else can you give me?

Are you fucking...

Oh, this is crazy.
This is crazy.

Just stop.
No, you stop!

Stop leading me on!
I just--

I didn’t start dating you
out of nowhere or something.

I told you
to leave me alone.

Yeah, but then
you told me not to.

Well, because I don’t know.

Because I don’t know.

I know.
I don’t know.

I’m confused, Henry.

I don’t know.
I know!

I’ve known since, like,
the very beginning
that I love you.

I can’t pretend
to be better because
that’s what you want.

You said you wanted
to get better.
I do.

I’m not ready yet.
I’m not--

I do, but I’m not
ready yet.

Well, I...

I don’t care.
All right?

Yes, you do.
I...
No, I don’t.

I don’t care.

Seriously, I want you
exactly the way you are.

But you just got to
let me in and talk to me.

I love you.

-

Why do you kiss me
like that?

Like what?

Like you’re in love
with me.

It’s the only way
I know how.

-

Plate’s for you
in the oven, toots.

Henry?
-What?

What’s wrong?
Nothing.

What’s wrong?
Nothing.

Come here.
Come on.

We just want to know
what’s going on.

Is it Grace?

It’s just regular shit
that regular people
go through

that you are not
gonna understand.

Oh, come on.
We’re not
regular people?

No. No. Are you
fucking kidding me?

Your relationship’s
been perfect
since you were my age.

I got this.
No, no, no,
no, no.

We should go.
Mom.

He’s right.
You don’t understand.

I got it.

Did you guys break up?
Yeah.

I mean, I don’t
even know if we were
actually together.

Maybe it’s just
a bump in the road.

No, she doesn’t want me.

What happened?

She’s in love
with someone else.

Oh, shit.

Okay.

You want the good news
or the bad news?

Neither.

Well, the bad news is
it’s gonna hurt.

Your brain has gotten
used to a steady stream

of dopamine
and oxytocin.
Here we go again.

Yeah, I know.
I’m sorry,
but that’s what causes

all those blissed-out
feelings of love.

And now it’s replaced
with stress hormones.

They’re gonna make you
feel like garbage.

Headaches, tight muscles,
tight chest.

Your body’s craving
those feel-good chemicals.

It’s basically withdrawal.

Oh, awesome.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yesterday was the first day
I didn’t think about him.

And tomorrow
I’m going on my first date.

Henry.
Hmm?

Love--
it’s a chemical reaction
that comes and goes.

Here’s the good news:
so is heartbreak.

Your brain adjusts.

Your body chemistry
changes back to normal.

It’s all
a waste of time.

Oh, no.

Hey.

Would you take it
all back if you could?

You can’t.

She’s a part of you now.

Are you trying to...

Are you gonna copy me
this whole time? Okay.

No, but I actually have
a real question. Wait.

You can’t do that.
What’s over there?

I did it.

I did it.

Where you going?

Um...
I don’t know.

Just don’t want
to watch this.

Wow.

You just can’t be happy
for anybody else.
Boo.

Don’t even--
don’t do that.

Don’t do that.

Whoa.

Watch it!
-

Oh!

Grace?

Are you okay?
I need to--

-I need to tell you.
-What? What do you need?

I need to tell you.

-What?
-I need to say it, Dom.

I need to say it, Dom.

Okay, say it.

It should have been me.

It should have been me.

It should have been me.

No. No.
It should have been me.

Yes, you fucking
asshole!

It was my fault!

No, it wasn’t,
Grace.
Yes, it was.

-No, it wasn’t.
-You told me to stop
teasing you.

You told me.

You told me,
and I didn’t listen.

I didn’t listen.
It’s okay.

I just wanted
to make you laugh.

-It’s okay. It’s okay.
-But you told me to stop.

Oh, I’m sorry.
It’s all right.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry!

It’s okay.
It’s okay.

It’s okay.

I felt him swerve.

And I knew, in that
fraction of a second,

that we were gonna crash.

And my last thought
before it happened was,
"Shit."

The last thought
I was about to have
in my entire life was, "Shit."

I didn’t think about Dom.

I didn’t even think
about him.

Does that make me
a bad person, Henry?

No.

Makes you a person.

I wonder what he was
thinking about.

I wonder what
his last thought was.

He was thinking
about you, Grace.

Guarantee it.

I was gonna marry him
in that dress.

No, you keep it.
It’s cold out.

Quick announcement,
everyone.

If I might have
everyone’s attention
for a moment, please.

-Thank you.

So, I wanted to let you know
that Grace Town has decided

to take some time
off from school

to deal with
some personal issues.

And, um, when she returns,
she’d prefer to focus
on her studies

rather than
the newspaper.

I’m sure we’ll all
miss her very much,

but, uh,
it does sound like

this is the best decision
for her at this time.

I know this news
might come
as a disappointment,

but I want you to know
that I have
the utmost faith

in this group of people

to produce three stellar issues.

- When you’re a teenager,

the chemicals in your brain
drive you to make decisions

that rip you away from
the safety of your childhood

and drag you into
the wilderness of adulthood.

A friend once told me
that adults are just

scarred kids
who were lucky enough

to make it out of
teenage limbo alive.

I urge you to go outside

and look at the world
through that prism.

Look at your parents,
your older siblings.

Look at strangers
you pass on the street.

Look at them and imagine that,
at one point in their lives,

they too walked these halls.

They too felt
the unbearable loneliness,

the absolute
unbearable powerlessness

and darkness of being young.

Number two!

This is three.

We tend to think
of scars as ugly or imperfect...

as things
we want to hide or forget.

But they never go away.

-As I write this,

my last editorial...

I finally understand

that scars are not reminders
of what’s been broken,

but rather
of what’s been created.

Hey.
Hey.

Let’s...

Congratulations.

Yeah, you too.

Thank you.
Yeah.

Where are you
off to next year?

I’m gonna go
to Bennington.

It’s a school
in Vermont.

It’s good for writing.
Nice.

What are you doing?

Uh, I’m taking
a year off.

Just continuing
therapy.

Oh.

Yeah, I was never gonna
be ready until I was...

ready, you know?

Of course you know.

Yeah.

I have to go find
my words again.

Yeah.

You will.

I just want to say...

you are an extraordinary
collection of atoms,
Henry Page.

Hey, is that
Hankard?

Hankard!
Hankard!

Let’s go.

Um, I think
I’m gonna walk.

Gonna walk?

Hey, whoa.

I’m gonna walk too.

Love of mine

Unless it’s real...

It’s a long walk.
Want some company?

Yeah, I do.

And then it’s fake

It feels too late