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1
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,800
Just gonna be a second.
2
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,300
Come on. Sharon's gonna be back
in half an hour and I need a piss.
3
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,900
Shit... I can't get up.
4
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,000
Have you wiped your arse?
5
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,900
My...
6
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:47,600
My...
7
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:49,900
Agh!
8
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,399
Why are you doing that noise?
9
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,900
Thank Jesus Christ!
10
00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:03,800
I dreamt I was drunk and
I couldn't get off the toilet.
11
00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:06,500
Are you sure it was a dream?
12
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,400
Sounds more like a memory.
13
00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:11,400
What time is it?
14
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,499
It's 3:15. You should go back to sleep.
15
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:20,000
Fergal gets in at some stupid hour.
16
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,800
Jesus.
17
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:23,700
What?
18
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,700
I just don't know if I can
deal with him right now.
19
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:29,500
And why are you having to
plan his birthday party?
20
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:32,500
Plus, adults shouldn't
have birthday parties.
21
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,700
You sound like a supervillain.
22
00:01:36,700 --> 00:01:38,100
Good night.
23
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,900
Can I play with your tits a little bit?
24
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,000
Do you mind if I go back to sleep?
25
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:47,300
- No.
- Then go nuts.
26
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,799
What do you think?
27
00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,899
Well, my concern with Maroon Thrive
28
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:02,399
is that their set list
includes both Shaggy and Enya,
29
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,699
which is impressive, but it's,
like, "Where's your passion?"
30
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:07,800
It's grand for a bar mitzvah,
but for a milestone birthday...
31
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:09,300
I say we keep looking.
32
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:10,799
I'm not asking what you
think of them, Fergal.
33
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,299
I'm showing you who I booked.
34
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:14,399
- They're not that bad, are they?
- No, they suck.
35
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,899
I think they'd be
perfect for your party.
36
00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:18,799
Maybe you could get Mallandra to
play her castanets along with 'em,
37
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,299
you know, jazz 'em up a little bit.
38
00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:21,499
Mallandra's not coming.
39
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,599
- Yeah, why isn't she?
- She didn't want to.
40
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,699
They threw a little ham
party for me in Spain anyway.
41
00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:27,399
By the way, no ham at this party.
42
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,399
No, I thought we could
get pizzas delivered, at...
43
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,499
- what do you think? Like 9:00 PM?
- Yeah, well, it depends what time we cut the cake, right?
44
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:35,099
You know what? I would
cut it after musical chairs
45
00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:36,800
but before the pinata.
46
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,576
Yeah, just because you're
unhappy with your life
47
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,400
doesn't mean I can't celebrate mine.
48
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,099
What did Captain Piss
Parade do for his 40th?
49
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:44,699
I can't remember what we...
50
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:47,000
Yeah, weren't you
in Toronto for your 40th?
51
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:50,699
No, I wasn't. I was supposed
to be, but I changed the trip
52
00:02:50,700 --> 00:02:52,100
to be here for my birthday.
53
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,599
But it is funny how,
through the mists of time,
54
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,999
you've latched onto the Toronto
myth to absolve yourself.
55
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,476
It was probably so
last-minute, we didn't have time
56
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:01,899
- to organise anything.
- I didn't need to go to the Ritz.
57
00:03:01,900 --> 00:03:03,599
I mean, we could've gone anywhere.
We could have gone to fuckin'
58
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,400
- Five Guys.
- I love Five Guys.
59
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:08,000
- Let's get Five Guys instead.
- Unbelievable!
60
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,799
Also we need to get some
balloons. Maybe black balloons?
61
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,099
- Black balloons?
- I'm not turning seven.
62
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:15,000
You know the sort of
thing. Masculine balloons.
63
00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,299
Fine. Who else are we askin'?
64
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:19,099
Do you know Mum's coming
over for your birthday?
65
00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:21,499
- Yeah, sure she is!
- What do you mean?
66
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:23,200
She's coming to see her new man.
67
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:26,400
What the fuck?!
68
00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,599
And, you know, it's
not even Fergal's fault.
69
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,500
It's the fact that Sharon
not only tolerates him
70
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,799
but enjoys him that drives me insane.
71
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,299
Yeah. You said that at the meeting.
72
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,199
And, you know, I realise
this is the kind of time
73
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,399
when I would've drank, but I'm not
gonna give him that power, you know?
74
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,900
That'd be like giving a weasel a
machine gun. Which I would never do.
75
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,399
- What's funny?
- No, it's just your biggest problem
76
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,599
right now is some asshole
who lives in Spain.
77
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,899
I wish I could worry
about stuff that small.
78
00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:53,999
Yeah and what would you
like me to get upset about?
79
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,299
Well, take your pick!
80
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:58,300
I mean, there is some bad
shit coming down the line.
81
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:02,600
I mean, we are not far away from
total societal collapse, my friend.
82
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:07,200
Did you know London's water supply
could be compromised like that?
83
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:10,899
Man, you need to get off
your basement computers.
84
00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:12,199
This isn't paranoia!
85
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,799
I mean, there are two points of
entry... Croydon and Hampstead.
86
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,299
You hit both of those at the same time,
87
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:20,399
you can expect four million
casualties in under an hour.
88
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:21,899
Four million?
89
00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:23,599
Aren't there, like, ten
million people in London?
90
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,900
- I mean, that's not that bad.
- Anyway...
91
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,299
picked up our New Zealand
passports this morning,
92
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:31,499
- so we gotta game plan.
- What? How'd you get those?
93
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:32,800
Dark web.
94
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:36,299
I mean, it started out, I
just wanted to see if I could.
95
00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:38,399
I mean, they're not
a hundred percent legal,
96
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:39,699
like in court or whatever,
97
00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:41,899
but for fathers who care
about their families,
98
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:44,300
New Zealand really
is the only way to go.
99
00:04:46,300 --> 00:04:47,700
Want me to look into it for you?
100
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,799
The flight was lovely, and Stephen
was waiting for me in arrivals
101
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,400
with a home-made panini.
102
00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:01,100
I... I have a panini press.
103
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:02,699
Who are you?
104
00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:04,899
I mean, h... um, how'd you meet?
105
00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:09,199
Well, Stephen was on
a shoot in Mullingar.
106
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,999
Stephen's a model,
if that's not obvious.
107
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,399
- You're a model?
- Well, technically.
108
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,900
It's all very new. I was
an accountant for 40 years.
109
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:20,199
Stephen was scouted in Gatwick Airport
110
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,900
on his way back from Ayia Napa.
111
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:25,599
Wow! That's... I... I
didn't know that... that...
112
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:29,399
people even... I just thought
young models grew into old models.
113
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:33,199
You know, after a while you stop
doin' swimsuit stuff and you start...
114
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,900
advertising hot-water bottles.
115
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,800
No. I, I do swimsuit work.
116
00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:40,799
Rob was nearly a model once.
117
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,499
- Well, I wasn't, um... Some people say that I, um...
- He was.
118
00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:46,800
- Does anyone want a drink? No.
- Yeah.
119
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:50,000
- Hello!
- It's Fergal.
120
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,400
Hello, son! Mwah!
121
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,699
This is Stephen. Stephen,
this is my son, Fergal.
122
00:05:57,700 --> 00:06:00,000
- Hi.
- Come here, you!
123
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:07,799
Did you see the way she
laughed at his jokes?
124
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,699
It was obscene. Who uses
their tongue to laugh?
125
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:14,499
What was that? Do you
think they're having sex?
126
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:17,699
I dunno. Maybe. She still
has her original hips, right?
127
00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:21,100
God! I don't know
how I feel about that.
128
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,799
I mean, we barely have sex
anymore, and that's fine, but...
129
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,299
not if my mum's gonna
be doing it more than me.
130
00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:30,399
Maybe this is a wake-up call. Shall
we start making more of an effort?
131
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:31,600
I don't know.
132
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,400
I mean, here... here's how I feel
about sex with you these days.
133
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,999
On paper, it sounds amazing,
134
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,599
but if you were to initiate
it, like, tonight...
135
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,000
I'd just be angry.
136
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:44,599
But I still have the fond feeling
137
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,900
when I look at you. Maybe that's enough.
138
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,300
Goddammit, it is enough!
139
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,200
Your mum's boyfriend's a feckin' ride.
140
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,799
- Good for her!
- No, not good for her!
141
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,299
My dad died six months
ago. That's nothing.
142
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,699
There's stuff in my fridge
that's more than six months old.
143
00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:10,299
How's it going, Rob?
Do you want a drink?
144
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:12,699
No, thanks. Um, I have alcoholism.
145
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,699
Even on your brother-in-law's birthday?
146
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,200
Yeah, even then!
147
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,500
That's why AA would never work for me.
148
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,399
It's, like, "Be reasonable."
149
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,000
I told Anna to get here
for 7:30. Is that OK?
150
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:25,800
I thought you and me could get
there early, blow up the balloons.
151
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,699
I can help with balloons.
152
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:31,100
In college I taught myself how
to tie them off with my tongue.
153
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,099
Also, I've no gag reflex.
154
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:35,100
That's... unrelated.
155
00:07:35,900 --> 00:07:37,399
You all right, Ciaran?
156
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,699
Are we meeting the other
St Joseph lads in the pub?
157
00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:41,299
No, no. I think it's just me.
158
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:43,499
Yeah, a lot of those lads
don't like Fergal, so...
159
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:45,199
they didn't really know
why you invited them.
160
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,599
Why don't they like him?
161
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,699
Some fuckin' timeshare
162
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,499
bollocks at Montenegro
that he roped them into,
163
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,800
that went tits-up the
second their cheques cleared.
164
00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:01,300
You look lovely, Fergal!
165
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,600
Do you have eyeliner on?
166
00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:06,100
No!
167
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,900
Just a bit of lip gloss.
168
00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,599
- Come on.
- Honey, um, I have sad news.
169
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,499
I have diarrhoea. And it's pretty bad,
170
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:26,499
so I don't think I can
make the party. Sorry.
171
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:29,699
Bullshit. You've diarrhoea?
I know when you've diarrhoea.
172
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:32,599
The house smells like a poultry
farm and you're all covered in sweat.
173
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,199
OK. I don't wanna
come to Fergal's party.
174
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,799
- What? You have to come!
- I don't have to come.
175
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,699
Look, just tell him I have
diarrhoea, and it hurts,
176
00:08:40,700 --> 00:08:43,299
- and he won't care anyway.
- Yeah. He might not care,
177
00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:46,399
but I'd really like you to be
there. Come on. It'll be fun.
178
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:50,399
Honey, look, my idea of fun isn't
pushin' Fergal home in a wheelbarrow
179
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,999
- cos you're too drunk to do it.
- OK, the Pope.
180
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,299
Well, you know what? The wheelbarrow
thing sounds like brilliant fun,
181
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,500
actually, so maybe we've
got a bigger problem here.
182
00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:00,699
But it's good to know
that this is my future
183
00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:02,299
as the wife of a dry drunk.
184
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,799
Used to be you'd just stand in
the corner scowling at parties.
185
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:05,999
Now you won't be there at all!
186
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,899
Yeah, well, I hope you have
some hand cream in your bag
187
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:09,799
in case you gotta jerk off any...
188
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,300
I...
189
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,399
you know, that's just
a funny joke that we have.
190
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:18,899
Um, so, listen, looks like
we won't need you tonight, Anna.
191
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:22,499
- So, I'm sorry...
- What? Sorry if I cancelled plans,
192
00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:23,876
and I was gonna use the money to buy
193
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:25,500
my nephew Rocky a birthday present?
194
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,899
So what I'll do is, I'll
just go read upstairs,
195
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:32,300
and, um, it's great that you're here.
196
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:40,900
Everybody!
197
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,700
- Hey! You having fun?
- No.
198
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,599
Maybe it wouldn't feel so pathetic
199
00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:56,200
if you hadn't booked an
actual barn for my party.
200
00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:58,199
Was the O2 Arena not available?
201
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,500
- I'm sorry. I expected more people.
- Right! So it's my fault?
202
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:05,900
I mean, this is not an honest
representation of me as a people person.
203
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,600
- Do you wanna dance, Ciaran?
- Sure.
204
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,799
Yeah, let me drink... three more beers.
205
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:13,200
You're on!
206
00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:17,500
This is considerably more depressing
than your father's funeral.
207
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:31,199
- "An agonising wait for the sugar..."
- What?!
208
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,699
They don't have nearly
enough time to do spun sugar.
209
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,200
What, do they think
they're Rumpelstiltskins?
210
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:38,500
Why don't you go to the party?
211
00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:41,499
- I don't like my brother-in-law.
- Do you like Sharon?
212
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:44,899
Yes, I like Sharon. Just not
enough to go to the party.
213
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,799
- How does that work, then?
- What do you mean?
214
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,000
Well, you don't like fun. Sharon does.
215
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,100
"Don't like fun"!
216
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:54,099
Ask Ricky Pratt if I like fun.
217
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:56,799
We went to karate camp
together, and we...
218
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,600
Yeah. We were animals! So it's...
219
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:12,900
I won't be late.
220
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:22,100
Fucking Christ!
221
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:40,399
♪ We move like cagey tigers ♪
222
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,800
♪ We couldn't get closer than this ♪
223
00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:46,900
♪ The way we walk, the way
we talk, the way we stalk... ♪
224
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,699
- How are you? You OK?
- Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I mean...
225
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:54,700
I'm lonely in my own home, but
apart from that, everything's great.
226
00:11:55,700 --> 00:11:59,000
- Chris looks happy.
- Everybody looks happy.
227
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,600
You don't.
228
00:12:01,900 --> 00:12:04,399
Fran! Do you want another gin?
229
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:06,799
Can I get you... No.
You look like you had enough.
230
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,299
Hello!
231
00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:12,199
So, Douglas, how did you get into
the whole plastic-surgery game?
232
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,699
Did you go to med school
to become a real doctor,
233
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:17,600
and then think, "You know what?
Any arsehole can save a life."
234
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:20,699
"What I'd like to do is
give women weird, hard tits
235
00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:23,499
- that start at their collarbones."
- It's not all tits.
236
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:26,200
Last year I reconstructed
an eight year old's face
237
00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:28,400
who'd been attacked
by her neighbour's dog.
238
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,799
Well, that... I mean,
that's different, that.
239
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,699
But I also did an eye lift yesterday
240
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:37,399
for a woman who had a
similar issue to yours.
241
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,299
I'm not currently taking new patients,
242
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,500
but I'd be happy to give you a referral.
243
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,000
I don't have an issue!
244
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:47,700
Do I?
245
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,699
- Where's Mark and Shane?
- They fucked off.
246
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:53,599
- Why?
- I think they went bowling.
247
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,899
For fuck's sake!
248
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,499
Hey, let's get some of that new drug,
249
00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:58,999
you know, the one
that anaesthetists use.
250
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,599
The one that killed
those people in Glasgow?
251
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,200
- Yeah, that one.
- OK. I'll call my cousin.
252
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,199
What?
253
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,200
Can you still get hard on those?
254
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:21,300
Ma'am? Could you open the
doors? The stop's just... there.
255
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:26,400
We're an inch from the stop. You
couldn't even use feet to measure it.
256
00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:32,800
Sir! Leave the doors alone, please!
257
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:34,200
Thank you.
258
00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:59,200
Check out the artist
formerly known as Douglas.
259
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,599
- I didn't know you two were back together.
- Och, aye.
260
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,800
I'm only seeing him because of...
261
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,800
- Don't matter.
- No. What were you gonna say?
262
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,400
I messed up everything, didn't I?
263
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:21,100
I screwed everything up! Sorry.
264
00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:24,099
- I've had a couple of drinks, so...
- No, but, no, no, it's good,
265
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:25,999
- because I wanted to...
- Can you ask him to come back?
266
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,900
- What?
- Jeffrey.
267
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:31,899
Can you tell him I'm sorry
and ask him to come back?
268
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:33,799
- Fran...
- You've got that...
269
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,100
lovely girl, and I've got...
270
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,200
nothing.
271
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:48,900
Goin' out with a male model.
272
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,299
Our mother. It's not even funny.
273
00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:53,900
It's better than going out with a DJ.
274
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:58,199
- Como Te llamas? Should've known.
- Sofia.
275
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,800
Sofia, _
276
00:15:03,700 --> 00:15:05,199
What if she's up for it?
277
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:07,800
- What are you gonna do then, you clown?
- Dunno.
278
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,500
Couldn't get any
Fentanyl, but I got these.
279
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:13,800
What are they?
280
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,300
They're blue.
281
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,300
- Sweet!
- Yeah?
282
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,399
- Yeah? Would ya? Come on.
- Take us down.
283
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,200
- Yeah, yeah, yeah! Agh!
- Come on, ya bollocks!!
284
00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:39,900
Mother of...!
285
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:53,900
♪ I need excitement, I need it bad ♪
286
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,500
♪ And it's the best I've ever had ♪
287
00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,599
♪ I wanna hold her,
wanna hold her tight ♪
288
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,999
♪ Get teenage kicks
right through the night ♪
289
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,600
♪ All right... ♪
290
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,600
Hey!
291
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,900
So, what's your angle?
292
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,900
- How do you mean?
- You know she's still grievin',
293
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:22,199
right? So anything she
tells you is just nonsense,
294
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,899
like a fever dream. There's
no way she's over my dad.
295
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:26,899
Well, it would be strange
if she were. I mean...
296
00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:28,799
she's told me how hard
his death hit you all.
297
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,000
Sounds like he was a wonderful man.
298
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,000
Yeah, well, he was.
299
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,999
Nice to see you two chatting.
How are you gettin' on?
300
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,300
Yeah, great. He's great.
301
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,599
I think, you know, if you two hit pause,
302
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,500
and then picked it up
again in a couple of years
303
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,899
when you've had proper time
to grieve for Dad, then...
304
00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:48,799
- I might even feel good about it...
- Nah, fuck off!
305
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,099
- This... him.
- Here, can I have a Babycham?
306
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,299
- Argh, you...!
- What the hell?!
307
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,499
- Argh!
- Argh!
308
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:57,000
What are you doing?!
Fergal! What the fuck?!
309
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,599
♪ I wanna hold her,
wanna hold her tight ♪
310
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,999
♪ Get teenage kicks
right through the night ♪
311
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,200
- ♪ Hey ♪
- _
312
00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:28,200
Hey, guys!
313
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,899
We should maybe take a taxi.
314
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:35,700
- Why?
- So we can get home quick and fuck.
315
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,200
I'm ovulating.
316
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:41,200
Right! Let's...
317
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:47,100
What do you say we go
somewhere and... have a chat?
318
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:51,199
Why am I even having to
deal with this anyway?
319
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,099
Stop talking at me like that! You're
always moaning about everything...
320
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:55,999
I'm not, you idiot... Hey, you came!
321
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,799
Hey! Did you bring any diarrhoea?
322
00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,799
What the hell happened?
Does he have a pulse?
323
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:01,899
Relax, Nancy. He's
just taking a breather.
324
00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:04,799
- Back off, Fergal!
- What is your fucking problem?
325
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,899
- You!
- Why, you think you're better than me?
326
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:09,199
- Right now, yeah.
- Well, you're not.
327
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,199
You're like a fuckin' fun-vacuum.
328
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,199
You're like.. you're like
the Reverend Footloose.
329
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,300
Everyone, stop... stop
dancing! Stop having fun!
330
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,499
The Reverend fuckin' Rob Norris is here.
331
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:21,599
Jesus Christ. Your eyes are like a
hundred percent pupil. Are you high?
332
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,999
- It's my birthday!
- Fergal! Nobody gives a shit.
333
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:28,200
Six people showed up to celebrate,
and one of them's your mom.
334
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:29,999
What the fuck?!
335
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,500
Jesus, what are you doin'?!
336
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:34,099
Just be careful!
337
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:35,799
You fuck!
338
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,400
Get off him!
339
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,800
Fergal, what the fuck?! Get off him!
340
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,400
Um... who are we here for?
341
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,900
- Come on!
- _
342
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,500
What the fuck is going on with you?
343
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:08,500
- Are you having a mid-life crisis?
- I'm not having a mid-life...
344
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,399
My wife fucking hates me.
345
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,499
When I drive into work, I think
about pulling into oncoming traffic.
346
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:20,099
Well, yeah, maybe it is a crisis.
Not mid-life, though. Come on!
347
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:23,899
Jesus Christ! So, what are
you gonna do? Leave her,
348
00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:26,699
because you cannot continue like this.
349
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:28,699
You are gonna get
yourself in serious trouble
350
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:30,999
being this much of an arsehole, Fergal.
351
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,899
You... you're gonna be in a
bar one night, mouthing off,
352
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:38,000
and some Spanish Vinnie Jones
is gonna smash your face in.
353
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,599
- I can't leave her.
- What?
354
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,499
I fuckin' made a promise to Dad. Okay?
355
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:44,599
I told him I'd work
it out with Mallandra.
356
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,299
Why would you promise him that?
357
00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:47,499
It made him smile.
358
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,899
Fergal, he'd had a stroke.
359
00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:52,699
He didn't have full control
of his facial muscles.
360
00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:54,400
Bugger!
361
00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:58,000
- Morning.
- Morning.
362
00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:01,499
- Where's Ciaran?
- Um...
363
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,599
He slept in Frankie's
bunk bed last night, but...
364
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,199
he's got a concussion,
though, so I think
365
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,000
it's important that we let him sleep.
366
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:09,999
What? No. That is the
opposite of what you do.
367
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,300
I'll go check on him.
368
00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:16,400
Does anybody have a mint?
369
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,000
It doesn't matter.
370
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:28,500
I owe you probably 15 apologies.
371
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:32,599
Look, it's OK. I had a bit
of a revelation earlier.
372
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,299
I used the toilet after you
were in there this morning,
373
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:38,399
and the seat was warm,
and I got really angry.
374
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,599
But then I thought, "Why
do I care how it got warm?"
375
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:45,199
It's warm and it's cosy.
What I'm trying to say is,
376
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:49,100
you're my wife's brother, and...
I'm glad that you're leaving,
377
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:52,500
but I know that you'll be back
at some point, and that's fine.
378
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,499
Just out of curiosity, have
you ever hated anything
379
00:20:58,500 --> 00:20:59,899
as much as you hate me?
380
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,900
'Cause, it seems a little excessive.
381
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:06,400
- Shar...
- Sorry. Can just... Sorry. Can I go?
382
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,900
Mum... I'm sorry about how I behaved.
383
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,899
You've just lost your husband.
384
00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:13,899
You know, you should be able
to do whatever you wanna do
385
00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:16,999
when your husband dies, including
fuck up. Which you're not.
386
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,899
So, I guess I'm trying to say
don't break up with Stephen
387
00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:21,400
on my account.
388
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,399
- What were you gonna say?
- I was just going to say,
389
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,200
I left five Euros for
Frankie under his pillow.
390
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:36,499
Be careful, OK?
391
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:37,800
That fit...
392
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,399
at that age, just seems a bit...
393
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:41,799
I'm just saying he could be gay...
394
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,000
you know? I mean, he's
such a good dancer.
395
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,900
I don't want you to get hurt.
396
00:21:46,300 --> 00:21:49,200
Well, if he is gay,
he's under deep cover.
397
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,399
How long do you think you'd
wait to get together with someone
398
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:00,599
after I die?
399
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,100
Like, if I had to go
out and look for 'em,
400
00:22:03,300 --> 00:22:05,599
it'd be, you know, a couple of years.
401
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:10,299
But if somebody came up to me and
was, like, "I'm fucking you now,"
402
00:22:10,300 --> 00:22:13,400
then, I would wait, like,
you know... a day or two.
403
00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:16,399
Yeah. If I die,
404
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,799
I would be fine with you
being with someone else,
405
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,200
you know? I'm dead. I don't care.
406
00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:23,700
But if the slut you get together with
407
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,599
even suggests my kids call her "mum"...
408
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,899
I'll haunt her, and if
Muireann has her period,
409
00:22:28,900 --> 00:22:30,599
you come to my grave and you tell me,
410
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,800
not your mail-order bride.
That's non-negotiable.
411
00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:38,999
Hey, I'm sorry I never threw
you a party for your 40th.
412
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,499
- I didn't want a party for my 40th.
- Well, a picnic, then, or...
413
00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:44,299
we could've gone to the beach.
414
00:22:44,300 --> 00:22:46,700
Just makes me wanna
cry, thinking about it.
415
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,499
And I'm sorry about Fergal.
416
00:22:49,500 --> 00:22:53,600
I know sometimes it seems like I
put my family first, but I love you,
417
00:22:53,900 --> 00:22:56,300
and that's why I
married you, and not him.
418
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,299
And also because I'm fun.
419
00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:01,999
Well, you still think
I'm fun, don't you?
420
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,699
I mean, know I said fun for me
421
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:06,700
isn't rolling you and Fergal
around in a wheelbarrow, but...
422
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,100
you know, I'd give it a shot.
423
00:23:08,900 --> 00:23:11,599
You are plenty of great things.
424
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,199
I don't need you to be fun.
425
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,900
Well, tough luck, because I am.
426
00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:20,000
Get off! Stop!
427
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:24,999
- Jesus!
- I'm sorry!
34006
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