Original subtitles

Uh-oh. That tree is in the way.

You better chop it down.

I can't, it's too big.

Oh? Would you do it for one of my Sorcerer Snacks?

Uh, we could just walk around it, but sure why not?

(CHOMPING)

(EXCLAIMS)

(GNAWING)

Oops, sorry, nature!

I guess he ate too many snacks.

(LAUGHING)

ANNOUNCER: Sorcerer Snacks,

so good you'll do anything for them.

(LAUGHING)

Yeah, I just watched the new TV spot

and it's got a lot of potential.

My only note is the commercial's terrible and we can't use it.

I keep telling you the puppet thing is tired.

Sorcerer Snacks are a brand new product.

It's time to go in a brand new direction.

(STUTTERS) Hello?

(CHANTING)

(SCREAMS)

(GROANING)

(WHIMPERING)

(SCREAMS)

Huh?

(GROWLS)

(SCREAMING)

(CHANTING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

SCOOBY-DOO: Scooby-Dooby-Doo!

So, why are we here exactly?

Like, this is Samson's Snacks factory.

-(GASPS) Puppets! -No.

We heard through the snack-vine

they've created the greatest new treat ever

called Sorcerer Snacks.

I'm skeptical myself.

Agreed. Taste is completely subjective.

No one in their right mind would say they've made the greatest snack ever.

(GASPS) The greatest snacks ever.

Sorcerer Snacks!

(LAUGHING)

(SIGHS HAPPILY)

I stand corrected.

Tasting is believing.

(LAUGHING)

Like, on the count of three.

That's 21 dog seconds.

My apologies.

Eat!

(BOTH SIGH HAPPILY)

BOTH: It's true.

Enjoy those snacks, boys,

because we don't make 'em anymore.

-BOTH: Hmm? -(BOTH GULPING)

BOTH: What?

Hi, I'm Sammy Samson, CEO of Samson's Snacks.

We've discontinued our new greatest product ever, Sorcerer Snacks.

In fact, this is the last box.

-(BOTH GROANING) -(BOTH SCREAMING)

-Last... -(SOBBING) Box.

Not to tell you how to do your job or anything, but

isn't discontinuing your best product doing your job horribly?

Normally, yes. But all my employees quit

because a real terrifying sorcerer

has been attacking the factory.

A real sorcerer?

Well, that sounds fairly mystery-related.

It sure is.

You sound pretty cheerful about it.

No, I'm extremely upset.

But, like they taught me in CEO class,

always sound positive.

Oh, well, legend has it,

an evil sorcerer cursed the land

-where my factory was built. -(LIGHTNING CRACKLING)

I decided to turn his legend into a cute mascot for my snack foods.

Which as I say it out loud, may not have been the best,

you know, "idea".

But now it's too late to just ditch the puppets and get a new mascot.

Looks like I'm finally gonna have to sell the company to my rival.

Beverly, of Beverly's Bites,

who'll tear the factory down.

(BEVERLY LAUGHING)

Then, like, I guess, I'll hold on to this last box of Sorcerer Snacks.

You know, for safekeeping.

(SCOFFS) No, no. Allow me.

I said I'll hold them.

In your stomach.

Like, you wouldn't dip a paw into the box?

This ends here.

See? People would do anything for Sorcerer Snacks.

Old friends turning on each other like bad milk.

-(BOTH GRUNTING) -I'll hold the snacks.

Like, all right.

But we're watching you, Jones.

You know, we're old hands at this kind of mystery.

We'd be happy to look into the sorcerer thing for you.

Thank you.

If someone doesn't figure out how to solve the problem,

all my dreams will die, and my life will be filled with

insurmountable despair and hopelessness.

In a bad way.

FRED: Okay.

Velma, Daphne and I will check out the security footage.

Shaggy and Scooby,

you check out the poorly lit, spider-infested storage room.

(BOTH GULPING)

Like, why don't you check out the words, "No way"?

"No" and "Way".

(RATTLING)

(BOTH SNIFFING)

BOTH: Mmm.

All right, guys, I'll tell you what.

Since you seem to really enjoy these things so much,

how about I give you each a snack

if you investigate that room?

(EXCITED MOANING) All right. We'll do it.

Deal!

-Really? -Yeah.

Mr. Samson's right.

We'd do anything for those snacks.

Literally anything.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Come along, Scoobert.

We have a mystery to solve.

Right you are, Norville.

Huh. Interesting.

So, did we just bribe Shaggy and Scooby into investigating that storage room?

Bribe? No?

I'm just keeping them separated from that which they love

until I want them to do something they'd never otherwise do.

Yeah, you just defined bribery, Fred.

Science uses rewards with lab animals to teach them to do extraordinary things.

I wonder what Shaggy and Scooby would do for those snacks?

Okay, forget bribery for a second,

doing scientific experiments on your friends

is clearly a no-no.

Right?

Oh, hey, kids. I'm head of security here.

What can I do for you?

Uh, hi, Milton?

Mr. Samson said it's okay for us to look at the security footage.

What, you're taking over the investigation?

-No, I... -No, no, I see!

I guess you're head of security now, huh? Not me.

Well, no, we're just helping...

No, no, no, by all means.

Here's your hat and your badge!

-But I'm not taking... -Oh, I almost forgot to give you your shoes.

Wow, I guess it's crazy power trip day for Fred.

But I didn't... (STAMMERS)

Never mind.

Got it.

This is the footage from the attack this morning.

That's weird.

Yeah. The cameras short out whenever the Sorcerer uses his staff.

That has to mean something.

Well, hopefully Shaggy and Scooby found something a little more concrete.

They seemed pretty gung ho about finding clues.

What?

What are we doing?

Like, this is a bad idea.

Why do those snacks have to be so good?

We should just get out of here right now and get back to some more snacks

to make us come back here. Then...

(SHUDDERING) Oh, no.

I think we're stuck in a vicious snack circle.

No way out.

We might as well get this over with.

Nothing.

What do you got, Scoob?

(GASPS)

-(WHIMPERING) -Great, Scoob.

I'm guessing there is no such thing

as good whimpering, is there?

I didn't think so.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(BOTH WHIMPERING)

Zoinks!

Like, the wall wants a hug!

It's not my type.

BOTH: No!

SHAGGY: Run!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Ew, spider webs!

SHAGGY: Yay, spider webs!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

BOTH: Huh?

I think we've got a problem.

(SCREAMING)

(GASPING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Hmm.

(ALL SCREAMING)

(SORCERER GROWLS)

(CHANTING)

Phew! That was close.

That staff he had seemed to magically control the environment.

Like, we're doomed.

Mr. Samson is gonna sell the factory.

To Beverly.

(LAUGHING)

Anything under a $50 bill and it ain't a real money bath, right?

Okay, we had different childhoods.

Let's check in here.

Okay. Scooby and I have discussed it,

and we won't be going in there.

When exactly did you discuss it?

Consider it discussed.

Would you do it for a snack?

-Nope. -There's buckets of eyes.

Would you do it for two snacks?

Scooby and I deliberated and we have formally decided...

Yeah, yeah!

That's right, you will.

And no one else sees a problem with this?

For three snacks, would you do it wearing wigs?

Like, nobody move.

We've got three snacks in our system

and we're looking for clues.

We're wigging out.

Come on. Talk!

Don't make us use the good cop/dog cop routine on you.

I'm the good cop.

And I'm the dog cop.

It's counterintuitive.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

It's the Sorcerer!

Greetings.

(WHIMPERING) But smaller and cuter.

Please don't hurt us.

Our bravado is completely falsified.

That's just a puppet.

-Puppets! -Uh-uh. No.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm the mighty sorcerer of these woods.

Can I help you, kids?

Yes, actually.

Mr. Samson asked us to look into the real sorcerer

that's been attacking the factory.

Who are you talking to?

I'm talking to you.

But I'm over here.

Fun! I love commitment to a bit.

I'm talking to you, the puppeteer.

BOTH: What puppeteer?

Okay, that's not helpful.

Oh, you want to talk to my good friend.

Yes, please.

-(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) The Beaver! -Yes!

-No. -Howdy.

I hear you wanna talk to me.

I have questions for you,

the human man.

You mean him?

Argh!

You know who can help you?

Piero, the puppeteer.

I'll go get him.

(NORMAL VOICE) Hi, I'm Piero. Pleased to meet you.

We've already met.

It's an honor.

You know, I have some puppet experience myself.

Sadly, we all have.

So, uh, Piero, have you seen anything suspicious around the factory?

Hmm, well, I'm always here late, working on the set

and rehearsing lines with the Sorcerer.

With yourself.

And I did notice Beverly from Beverly's Bites

snooping around the shipping warehouse last week.

That was sort of suspicious, her being our competitor.

That's just the kind of thing we need. Thanks.

Okay, gang, next stop, the warehouse.

-Do you think maybe I could... -ALL: No!

Like, dude, that's pretty creepy.

(SQUISHING)

Yes, and the floor's a mess.

Hmm.

Like, we'd carry you anywhere for those snacks.

Yeah.

Thanks, guys.

I mean, this isn't even normal wrongness.

This is a whole new level of wrongness

that is beyond all previous wrongnesses.

It's very dirty in here, and I'm wearing white.

No clues by this box. To the next.

(SNORING)

(GASPS)

Down, please.

We were just looking for clues.

Well, I guess if you're the head of security now,

then I guess this is your secret nap spot.

-What are you... -In fact,

here's your wallet,

-with a picture of your wife in it. -But I...

Don't forget to get her flowers

because you forgot your anniversary today!

-But I'm not... -Busted.

(SIGHS) Never mind.

(SNIFFING) Muffin.

(SNIFFING) Biscuits.

(SNIFFING) Pancake mix.

(SNIFFING) Machine oil.

Machine oil?

VELMA: Interesting.

What's this machine doing in a box labeled "Muffins"?

(ALL GASPING)

Like, I don't know,

but look what just popped out of the box labeled "Zoinks!"

(CHANTING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

* I'm throttling the accelerator

* Come ride with me

* I'm throttling the accelerator

* I'll set you free

* Come on

* Uh-huh

* Uh-huh

* Uh-huh

* Faster, faster, faster

* Faster, faster, faster

* I'm throttling the accelerator

* Come ride with me

* I'm throttling the accelerator

* See what we'll see

* Uh-huh

* Uh-huh

* Uh-huh

* Uh-huh

* Faster, faster, faster

* Faster, faster, faster

* Faster, faster, faster

* Faster, faster, faster

* Faster, faster, faster

* Faster, faster, faster

* And stop

All right, gang.

I think I've got an idea how to trap the Sorcerer.

All I need is someone to act as bait.

Oh, no, you don't.

Hey, my power!

There, now I have the snacks.

The bribing is officially over.

So we're just gonna let the Sorcerer destroy the snack factory?

No more snacks?

What? We can save the factory without bribing each other.

That's absurd.

Interesting.

Or experimenting on one another.

Don't you see? The snacks are messing with your heads.

They're bad for you.

We can't face something as scary as that sorcerer without snacks, Daph.

Yeah. Get real.

Okay, here. You can just have them.

(LAUGHING EXCITEDLY) Like, thanks.

And in return, we'll be the bait to trap the Sorcerer.

No, no in return.

I give them to you because we're friends and you like them.

Whatever you say, boss.

Awaiting command, snack giver.

I'm glad you finally came around to Team Bribe, Daphne.

Now let's go catch that sorcerer.

Miss Bribey-bribe.

Hey, I'm not...

So bribery is okay, as long as Daphne does it.

Hmm. Interesting.

But I didn't...

(SIGHS)

What just happened?

SHAGGY: Like, it's a good thing the factory's up and running again.

SCOOBY-DOO: Yeah, the world needs snacks.

No matter what kind of curse there may be.

Curse, smurse.

(BOTH GROAN)

(BOTH GASPING)

(WHIMPERING) Like, we were bad-mouthing some other curse!

(GROANS)

Like, anytime now would be nice.

Got it!

Daphne, catch! (GRUNTS)

-(GASPS) -(GROWLS)

(QUIETLY CHANTING)

Velma, catch!

(STRAINING)

What are you doing? I'm Velma. Velma doesn't catch.

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS)

-Got it. -(GROWLING)

(GRUNTING)

-VELMA: Daphne! -Huh?

Magic staff.

(GROWLING)

(GROANING)

Bye.

(YELLING)

(GROANING)

Yikes.

ALL: Ew.

(GROANING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

ALL: Aw.

Great job catching the Sorcerer, kids.

Thank you, Mr. Samson.

But he's no sorcerer.

In fact, he's really...

(GRUNTING)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) The, uh, beard is stuck.

Leave it to us.

(CHOMPING)

ALL: Piero, the puppeteer?

But why? I thought he was just a harmless, off-putting weirdo.

He is, and he also realized you were going to fire him

and get a new mascot for your snacks.

Stop that. You'll let him go.

But this trap is delicious.

Piero used his skills as a puppeteer to build a remote control

that looked like a magic staff.

He used it to control animatronic furniture and machines

he placed in the factory at night,

which explains the machinery we found in that box.

Finally, his radio waves were interfering with the other electronics in the building.

That's... Knock it off.

-No. -(STRAINING)

A-ha! (GRUNTS)

I would have gotten away with it too,

if it weren't for you meddling puppet-haters.

I like puppets.

Great job, Mr. Head of Security.

Now maybe your parents will forgive you for dropping out of law school.

You know, this has given me an idea for a new mascot.

Introducing Scooby Snacks.

Scooby Snacks?

Why not Shaggy Snacks?

Kids wanna buy snacks from a talking dog, not a bearded guy.

That checks out.

Yes, sir, with these new Scooby Snacks,

I won't have to sell the company after all.

(SHOUTING) You hear that, Beverly?

Look at her sulking.

Well, gang, what say we get out of here

and find ourselves another mystery?

Find another mystery? On purpose?

"No" and "Way".

(RATTLING)

Would you do it for a Scooby Snack?

BOTH: Sure!

Ha!

This is the dawning of a great new day

for Fred.

Really, this is going to be a thing now?

(WHISPERING) Like, can you believe it?

Fred's gonna give us Scooby Snacks to do things we always have to do anyway.

Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

Sucker.

(BOTH LAUGHING)