Original subtitles

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Let it roll!

Military March, take one!

''More and more...

''I strive for simplicity.

''I use worn metaphors.

''It's what's basically eternal.

''For example, stars resemble eyes...

or death is like sleep.''

Military March, take one.

The Riflemen

Michelangelo, come here!

Mama! The riflemen! Mama!

Shut up, miss! Hands up!

Mama!

Shut up!

Hands up!

We did nothing!

Move!

Over there!

On the double!

You're crazy.

We've done nothing.

We didn't say ya did!

I did nothing, either.

And I said I didn't say ya did!

So why'd ya come?

We got a letter for ya.

A letter from who?

A letter from the King.

A letter from the King?

What a joke!

Yes, a letter from the King.

I don't believe ya.

Here it is.

Let me have it.

It's not true!

Look!

Look...

the King.

''Mo-bil-i-za-tion.''

What's that mean?

War.

The King wrote Ulysses and Michelangelo!

Great!

There's something I don't understand.

What?

Why'd the King write to me?

He wants a personal favor.

The King? From me?

Yes. You'll see.

Let's go inside. I'm freezing.

During the hard times we're going through...

with suffering saddening the people...

the police should take into consideration...

how to distract the population.

Sit down!

We've been on the road.

Take off your coat.

No, thanks. I'm fine.

Coffee?

OK.

Got a cigar?

OK.

Here.

Oh, sorry. The electricity's off.

My wife's gorgeous.

She has heart-shaped lips.

I love that.

Have a seat.

Thanks.

If the King wants a favor...

it means he considers me a friend.

Yes.

Really...the King considers me his friend.

Yes.

Right?

Yeah, sure.

''Mobilization.'' That means we gotta go to war?

Yes.

When do we leave?

Today.

Shit!

Why?

Because.

War's no fun.

On the contrary.

What'll become of us?

Right.

We'll be ruined.

On the contrary. You'll be wealthy.

How so?

How?

Yes, how? That really interests me.

We'll explain it to you.

You'll enrich your minds by visiting foreign countries.

Then you'll become very rich.

You'll be able to have whatever you wish.

OK.

But where's all that?

With the enemy.

You take it from the enemy.

Not only lands and herds...

but houses, palaces, cities, cars...

movies, dime-stores, stations, airports...

swimming pools, casinos, theaters...

bouquets of flowers, arches of triumph...

cigar factories, printing plants...

lighters, airplanes...

ladies of the world.

Freight trains.

Fountain pens, jewelry shops...

Alfa Romeos, Hawaiian guitars.

Splendid landscapes...

elephants, locomotives...

subway stations.

Rolls Royces, Maseratis...

women who get undressed.

Locomotives!

Diamonds!

Chocolate factories!

Maseratis!

We can really have all that?

Yes, all that.

Oh, that's nothing.

I got a question.

Wherever they go, they can take what they want?

Yes. I just told you that.

Wonderful!

What's wrong?

Go on, asshole! Go to war! Fast!

I don't know...

Sure. Go on.

Assholes.

So, what's going on?

I'm hesitating.

Why?

Why?

Why?

You say it, but it's not true.

It is, too. Ya don't know what war is.

You'll see. It's extraordinary.

Won't we be punished for stealing?

No.

In war, anything goes.

What's to prove that?

The proof...

the King's letter.

-Here. -It proves nothing!

Of course it does.

Each soldier can do as he wants...

in the name of the King.

So, sign it.

Yes, sign it.

-OK. -Get my pen from the jeep.

I got a question.

Go ahead.

In the war, can we take slot machines?

Yes.

No charges if we take old men's eyeglasses?

Can we break a kid's arm?

Both arms?

Stab a guy in the back?

Rob apartments?

Burn towns?

Burn women?

Yes.

And steal classy pants?

Yes.

If we want, we can massacre innocent folks?

Yes.

Denounce folks, too?

Yes.

Eat in restaurants and not pay?

Yes, yes. That's war.

Yes.

We'll have a lamb to celebrate.

Bring me a horse!

A velvet dress for me!

And some ribbons!

A Max Factor lipstick.

And a washing machine!

Ulysses!

Yes?

Don't forget!

No.

Hurry!

Bye, Cleopatra!

Hurry up!

Go! Quick!

Bye!

Bring me a bikini!

What?

A bikini!

What do soldiers do before battle?

Before battle, soldiers are afraid.

We landed in Italy...

and lined our path with a thousand bodies.

We're gonna take a hit!

We saw grenadiers die without a cry...

generals with gaping bellies...

bloody uniforms, holes for eyes.

The day of glory is at hand!

Even so, it's a nice summer.

We're sowing death in the families...

and fulfilling our bloody mission.

Got any money?

No. We're poor.

Take a look.

You got any money?

No, we're poor.

We'll see about that!

Over there!

Send her out!

Go in the kitchen.

Up on the chair!

Turn around!

What're ya doin'?

I'm looking!

Where'd ya put the old guy?

I'll be back.

Where'd ya put the old guy?

Get down!

Take off your sweater!

A soldier salutes an artist!

Don't move!

Take off your dress!

If you please.

On your knees!

Forward!

Forward!

''Giddy-up, horsy!'' said little Claus. ''Hup!''

Hurry up.

It's always the same thing!

Always the same words:

bodies, decay, rot, death, etc.

We were trucked into Northern Silesia...

to be firing squads...

and check on hangings.

''10 Hostages Were Shot Today.''

Yes, yes! Yes, yes!

Stop!

Who are they?

Hostages to be shot.

I don't have the time.

Where's Juno?

No. Died in battle.

Poliansky?

Died in battle.

Mitchum?

Died in battle.

So do it on your own.

One of our most urgent jobs is...

to find all the King's enemies.

To do so, we are ready...

to shed our own blood and that of others.

Cigarette?

How far we goin'?

Till I find a pretty spot.

Hands up!

Get their stuff!

Got the blindfolds?

No.

Never mind.

Ready!

1...2...3!

At times we make them...

lie on the previous bodies...

and shoot them in that position.

The King asks his people...

to commemorate forever...

our sons' heroic combat...

in Europe and Oceania.

At these pyramids, we've seen...

centuries of history contemplate us.

Yesterday the war began...

its 3rd springtime...

henceforth offering no sight of peace.

The captain took our ammo.

We fought 132 days with knives...

to save Rostov.

Officers distribute books...

about the great conquerors.

We memorize their battles and...

study their magnificent lives.

What is it?

Say your prayers!

What're you doing there?

Commandeering buildings and killing the guardians.

They said it's allowed.

The King's spies and police...

infiltrate the universities...

but can't destroy...

the tradition of freedom...

the students cherish.

We kill people in groups...

with a bullet to the head.

Once the hole's full...

we fill it with dirt.

Have him get out.

Get out!

Are you a Mexican?

Yes.

Is he your husband?

No.

Pity.

Because I wanted to say...

''I've never seen a Mex-who-can.''

We rip women's rings off...

and make people undress...

when we shoot them...

naked by anti-tank traps.

Come look!

Cleopatra?

Look! Look what I brought ya!

And this is for Venus!

Yesterday we captured Santa Cruz.

The girls threw us flowers.

That night I saw my first movie.

''Superboy and Holgat...

''roamed the mesa in search...

''of the 2 mysterious men.

'''Superboy, why are you interested in these men?'

'''Like you, Steve...

''I think they're from elsewhere.'''

Eat your pie!

No.

Eat up, dammit!

No.

Son of a fascist bitch!

A Worldly Lady in her Bath.

We're in the Condor Legion.

We leave blood and death behind us.

With tender kisses...

If Papa knew it, tra-la-la!

He'd break my hand, tra-la-la!

Keep marching, boys!

Keep marching, boys!

I lost my clarinet's flange.

Go that way!

Ulysses, the machine gun.

Do eels have a soul?

I got no idea.

Michelangelo.

The machine gun.

Hands up! Get up!

Get over here!

Help!

Hands up!

Who are you?

Who are you?

Who are you?

4th Territorial Action Group.

Why are you fighting us?

We're friends.

Lenin said...

''Bourgeois capitalism...''

''and its reactionaries...''

''are merely evil insects...''

''and must be considered as such...''

''by the international proletariat.''

She's a pain. Shoot her.

And him?

Him, too.

Michelangelo.

Put this on her head.

Or they won't dare fire.

My brothers!

My brothers!

My brothers!

You have something to say?

I'd like to recite a wonderful fable by Mayakovsky.

Never mind!

This can't be Death.

Why would she hang about here?

Aren't you ashamed to believe in a fable?

Someone has a party...

creates a carnival...

invents this killing...

as he blinks his eyes.

She is charming, but like the cannons.

The gas mask is but a simple toy.

See?

In her careful course...

she measures the heavens.

Has Death slipped on the floor of the sky?

Don't say a wound's blood is awful.

Simply, to honor heros...

we gave them carnations.

True, the mind won't and can't understand it.

If cannons' necks aren't for kissing...

why do the trenches' arms embrace them?

No one has been killed.

Too weary, all have lain down, from the Seine to the Rhine...

as gangrene flowers among the slain.

Who says ''slain''?

No! No.

All are going to rise again...

and come smiling home and tell their wives...

''What a joke it was!

''What a phenomenon!''

They'll say, ''There were no shells nor mines.

''There wasn't even a fort.

''It was all a great fable for your birthday!''

1...2...3!

She's still moving.

Again.

Again!

Again.

There is no victory.

Only flags and...

fallen men.

After desperate combat...

the 8th Royal Army...

surrendered April 9th...

overwhelmed by human suffering.

Hello.

Hello, sir.

I want a Maserati.

You have money?

Yes.

The King's letter.

That won't do.

You need money.

A lot?

Yes, a lot.

Madam, I want money!

Money.

The last one of all!

It's always the best of the-

Like our love, it's full of chances.

The last one of all.

Come dance the time away!

We hears its call...

And it lasts till the end of day.

The music you hear...

-is just for your ear. -Look, Venus!

Yes, Mama.

The last one of all.

Before we go-

Mama, it's them!

Mama, it's them!

We can't always smile...

So when things go wrong-

A next time?

Shit, you've kissed me enough!

Hi, Cleopatra!

Poor Ulysses. What happened to you?

Some bastard poked my eye out...

when I kissed his daughter.

Who cares?

We're rich now!

Right. Who cares?

We're rich!

Yes! We're rich!

We got the world's treasures!

Where are they? I don't see anything.

Me, neither.

You got everything?

Sure.

Where is it?

I can't begin to tell ya.

Where is it?

It's in there?

Yes, yes.

You didn't bring a thing, ya dumb vet!

Cowards!

Liar!

Lazy slob!

Deserter!

Bastard!

The war's not over yet, and here they are!

In the suitcase...

we got some surprises!

Monuments...

transportation...

stores...

works of art...

factories...

the earth's riches!

Coal, oil, etc.

Nature's marvels.

Mountains, flowers...

deserts, landscapes, animals.

The 5 continents, the planets.

Naturally...

Naturally, each part is divided into several parts.

That are divided into more parts.

Order.

Method.

Order and method!

Our officer always said that.

He died saying that.

He died?

How?

He blew up! Blam!

Where do we start?

The factories!

The monuments!

Animals!

Shut up!

We'll start with the monuments!

First...

antiquities!

The pyramids!

The Carnac columns!

The Parthenon!

The Colosseum!

The Ankor Temple!

Second...

The Middle Ages!

Notre Dame of Poitiers!

The Mogador ramparts!

Cologne Cathedral!

The city of Carcassonne!

The Tower of Pisa!

Third!

The Renaissance!

The castle at Blois!

The Pitti Palace!

The Cathedral of Mexico!

The Villa Medicis!

Fourth!

Modern Times!

Versailles!

Westminster Bridge!

Victor Emmanuel's tomb!

Stuttgart Station!

The Hilton Hotel in Berlin!

The Chicago Aquarium!

The Santa Cruz Hospital!

And now transportation!

Railroads!

The steam engine!

Diesel trains!

The Chicago-Milwaukee!

The BB-9003!

The Barcelona aerial line!

The Transiberian!

The Belfort strategic railway!

The highway!

The Rolls Royce!

The DS 19!

The Isota-Traschini!

The Delaunay-Belleville Coup!

The Bugatti 37 A!

The Mercedes 2-cylinder V Torpedo!

The Hispano-Suiza!

The Golden Carriage!

The Assyrian chariot!

The wheelbarrow!

Water!

Galley!

Caravel!

Barge!

Sightseeing boat!

Schooner!

Transatlantic steamer!

Sailboat!

The submarine!

Air!

Super Constellation!

Boeing 707!

Alouette helicopter!

The Charles and Robert balloon!

The Dewatting 37!

The Graf zeppelin!

The Pouche and Primar monoplane!

The Royal Army Vampire!

Nature's marvels!

The Needle of the Republic!

The bay of Naples!

The Gobi Desert!

The Geneva water spout!

The Grand Canyon!

The Valley of the Rhine!

The Sea of Ice!

Niagara Falls!

Department stores!

The Galeries Lafayette!

The Samaritaine!

The Shocken in Stuttgart!

Tiffany's in New York!

The Bon March!

The sailboat!

The Atlas rocket!

The submarine!

Cologne Cathedral!

The Super Constellation!

The castle at Blois.

The DS 19.

The Transatlantic.

Mammals!

The bison!

The whale!

The penguin!

The varan lizard!

The rhinoceros!

The tiger!

Rabbit!

Iguanodon!

The marmot.

Felix the Cat!

Invertebrata!

-Rin Tin Tin! -Lucan Vulgaris!

Crocodile!

Kolia Crosseus!

-Elephant! -Wasp!

Fifandel!

Red star!

Green grasshopper!

Caterpillar!

Industry!

Schneider rockets!

Volkswagen!

Du Pont de Nemours!

Oil!

Hollywood's Technicolor plant!

Not the Parthenon.

It's a ruin.

Give it to Eugene.

He's a repairman.

He'll know how to fix it.

The Galeries Lafayette for Mama!

I prefer the Printemps.

Take the Samaritaine.

Why?

Because of the basement.

It has fish.

And even a kangaroo.

Buyers there are treated like queens, Cleopatra.

I'll take the Folies Berg�res.

The Lido for me!

With its girls?

No, women are a special category.

The women are reserved for me and Ulysses...

so our family can continue...

throughout the what?

The centuries.

Oh, yeah! Throughout the centuries!

Until the universal deluge.

Lola Montes!

Sheherazade!

Cleopatra!

That one!

If she moves in, she'd better change her name.

Sure!

We'll call her Catherine...

Natalie, Eugenia...

Josephine...

Josette, Mich�le, Isabel...

Julie...

Clemence...

Claudia!

Caroline!

Luciana!

Veronica!

Elizabeth, Bernadette!

Rosalie!

Pamela! Elizabeth!

Elisa!

Olivia!

Giovanna!

Lucrezia!

Josette!

Anna!

Suzanne!

Fabiola, Fedora, Bertha!

What's this?

The pyramids.

The pyramids? What are they?

Tombs for when we're dead.

One for me...

one for Ulysses, and one for Venus!

And me.

And me!

And me. Shit!

You...you...

We'll put you in Ankor...

or else Benares.

OK, but when do we get the real things?

When we want! These are the deeds.

I want everything now!

We'll go ask the King.

He'll give us everything, personally.

The riflemen!

Long live the King!

-We're here to pay you. -You see?

I told ya!

Great!

Long live the King!

Long live the King!

Long live the King!

Long live the King!

Long live the King!

What's that thing?

What's...

Yes. What is it?

Here's the truth.

The medals are a down payment on your true gains.

You can't really have...

what you've earned...

till the war's over.

When'll that be?

How'll we know that?

There's nobody here.

The war'll be over when the King wins it.

Then there'll be shouts of joy...

fireworks...

firecrackers...

and music so loud you'll hear it even here.

Then you'll get your earnings...

at a special ceremony.

Long live the King!

Long live the King!

Ulysses, see what Michelangelo brought me!

Venus!

Venus!

Look, Venus!

Ulysses, look!

Mama, quick!

Look!

The war's over!

The war's over!

Workers, citizens!

Catastrophe threatens the nation!

Fight before you're attacked!

The break between republicans and soldiers is final!

Our enemies, the democrats...

It's on fire! It's burning!

It's on fire!

Do you know where the King is?

The Night of the Long Knives is over!

Tomorrow dawns the satanic kingdom!

Workers, citizens!

Long live the King!

My washing machine!

Your papers.

Your papers.

OK, beat it.

Go.

Workers, citizens!

Listen to the cannons!

Yes, it's worth it!

Turn the cannons on them!

Workers, citizens! The day of liberty is here!

Workers, citizens!

I did nothing!

Long live the King!

Rifleman!

Now what?

Where's our treasure?

I've no idea.

Go around!

Stop!

The riflemen?

Michelangelo!

Hello, Sir!

Now what?

Where's our treasure?

I've no idea.

What?

Why?

I'll tell you.

I'll tell you.

We lost the war.

The King made peace...

but the cost was great.

The enemy demanded the death of the Prime Minister.

The treaty demands...

the arrest and punishment of traitors...

and war criminals.

Moreover... I have letters for you...

from the King.

I'll be right there.

I've something to tell you.

What?

A secret!

Henceforth...

the 2 brothers slept for eternity...

believing the brain, in decay...

functioned beyond death...

and its dreams...

are what constitute Paradise.

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