Original subtitles

CHARLIE: Hey guys, Charlie here, you know my sister, Kirby?

Kirby?

KIRBY (off-screen): Charles, follow the path.

Stay on course.

CHARLIE: All right guys lots going on today.

CHARLES (off-screen): We're hanging out at Maryland at the zoo,

with a bunch of prairie dogs.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Weird but true, Prairie dogs have a lot of natural enemies,

so they evolved a defense mechanism where they use

different sorts of whistles when different predators are

coming to attack.

KIRBY (off-screen): Remember the mission, Charles.

CHARLIE: All right guys.

It's time for Weird But True.

(theme music plays).

Oh, Kirb!

That was so sweet, the way you were like hiding and then you

jumped out and you were poking, poke, poke, poke,

poke, dodge, oh and then poking and then you ran away!

It was amazing!

Hey guys!

KIRBY: Hey!

CHARLIE: We just got back from our Live Action Battle League Practice.

KIRBY: Live Action Battle League.

CHARLIE (off-screen): It's the league where you form a team,

that defends a flag, while also trying to capture your opponent's flag.

Ah!

CHARLIE (off-screen): If you get tapped by a pool noodle,

you're out for one whole minute.

1,001.

It's so fun!

And Kirby's the captain of our team, the Chicago Shorebirds.

KIRBY: Caw!

And Charles is our amazing equipment manager.

CHARLIE: Yeah, but not for long.

Right, Kirb?

KIRBY: Yeah, we have a problem,

no one can make our championship game this weekend

and we're playing our archrivals.

KIRBY (off-screen): The Kenosha Sea Cucumbers!

Pat's at camp, Casey has a clarinet recital,

Bob has deliveries, I play offense,

so there's no one to defend our flag.

CHARLIE: Kirb.

KIRBY: Charles, not right now.

CHARLIE: Kirb! Let me play defense!

KIRBY: That'd be so fun, wouldn't it?

But who would carry our equipment?

CHARLIE: I'm great at defense!

KIRBY: Charles, this is Kenosha, they're really good!

KIRBY (off-screen): And when I've let you sub.

Look out!

CHARLIE: What? KIRBY: Charlie!

CHARLIE: Wait! No!

No!

KIRBY (off-screen): Charlie!

Hey.

Charlie!

CHARLIE: Ugh!

KIRBY: You're terrible. CHARLIE: What?

You mean give up to Kenosha without putting up a fight?

KIRBY: Agh, fine.

CHARLIE: Yes!

KIRBY: You can play if you prove yourself.

CHARLIE: What?

KIRBY: To protect our flag you gotta tap into your inner

animal and defend our territory!

You gotta be swift like a gazelle,

blend in like a stick bug, and camouflage like an octopus.

CHARLIE: I think I can do something like similar.

KIRBY: Charles!

There is no time for second guessing.

You must complete training by studying the best defenders

on our planet.

The Animalia pros!

CHARLIE: Fine.

All right guys, I guess that means today,

we're unraveling the world of...

CHARLIE (off-screen): Master Defenders!

KIRBY (off-screen): Master Defenders!

CHARLIE: Sweet.

So defense, that means I just like stand in front of our

flag and noodle people, right?

KIRBY: No, not at all, Charles.

It's a really complicated game.

A game of predator versus prey.

Check this out.

KIRBY (off-screen): Predators are animals that are on the attack.

They survive by hunting other animals for food or in our

case, the opponent's flag for a victory.

Prey are animals being hunted.

They try to avoid being eaten by escaping, fleeing,

and defending themselves, for us that's protecting our flag.

CHARLIE: What, I'm the prey?

That's so lame Kirb.

They get eaten.

KIRBY: Some of 'em get eaten, the ones who don't learn.

But others who are skilled, survive.

CHARLIE: Whoa.

KIRBY: You have a lot to learn, Charles.

You are not ready for the pool noodle.

CHARLIE: C'mon, Kirb.

It's just defense.

KIRBY: You can have that back once you prove yourself,

but first you have to learn all about prey animals and

their accomplishments.

What I need from you is a snap.

CHARLIE: A snap?

KIRBY: Just snap, trust me. CHARLIE: Ok.

Hello and welcome to the Prey Hall of Fame.

KIRBY (off-screen): Put some effort into it!

CHARLIE: We feature the brightest and most impressive

defensive mechanisms in the entire animal world.

Do you have tickets for the tour?

Do you have tickets?

No? Ok.

That's fine.

We'll begin our tour here at the

Malaysian Exploding Ants exhibit.

Imagine you're an ant and your colony is under attack!

These ants literally turn themselves into exploding

toxic glue bombs to protect their colonies.

GROUP (off-screen): Ohh.

CHARLIE: Ohh ok.

All right.

If we head this way I'll take you to our hands on room.

Follow me. In a line.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Don't touch anything.

Everybody in this room.

Make room for everybody. Ok.

Welcome to the hands-on exhibit about another great

defender, the hagfish.

CHARLIE (off-screen): All right.

The hagfish is a wormy type animal that lives in the ocean.

Their defense mechanism is gloopy goopy slime!

GROUP (off-screen): Ohh!

CHARLIE (off-screen): When hagfish are swallowed by other

fish they expel over five gallons of slime.

The slime clogs up their predator's gills,

so they have to spit the hagfish out.

Imagine swallowing this much goop! Ohh!

GROUP (off-screen): Ooh.

CHARLIE: Gross.

Next up we have a special surprise,

a meet and greet with a Hall of Fame inductee!

No way! This way.

Everybody follow me.

File in everybody and say "hello" to Miss Opossum!

GROUP (off-screen): Ooh.

KIRBY: Oh I'm just kidding y'all!

How are you today?

I'm so excited to meet you!

CHARLIE: Everyone will get their chance for a picture.

WOMAN (off-screen): Miss Opossum!

What's your secret?

KIRBY: Well, my primary mode of defense centers around

one simple idea.

My predators won't wanna eat me if I just look absolutely disgusting!

KIRBY (off-screen): I emit a really gross smell and start

foaming at the mouth.

It makes me look insane, terribly sick,

and so unappetizing.

And I tell you, if that doesn't work I go into this

state where I just don't move.

I pretend I'm dead and I start smelling like week old roadkill.

I'm horrific and it works every time.

CHARLIE: Fascinating stuff.

All right everybody form a line,

we'll all get our chance to meet Miss Opossum.

So animals defend themselves by exploding,

covering themselves with slime,

and pretending they're sick?

KIRBY: Yeah. Some do that.

CHARLIE: I feel like none of those are gonna help me out

during the game.

KIRBY: Well, I mean, prey animals use a whole bunch of

other techniques too.

KIRBY (off-screen): When they're under attack,

real Sea Cucumbers expel their organs to distract

predators and flee.

Their skill is distraction.

And the Kenosha Sea Cucumbers use a similar technique.

KIRBY (off-screen): They use silly string to distract the other team.

It's absolutely infuriating.

CHARLIE: Well, looks like we got a lot of work to do.

So let's get started.

Can I have my sword back, Kirb?

KIRBY: Nope, not yet. CHARLIE: C'mon, Kirb!

KIRBY: First you must go on a quest.

CHARLIE: Oh my gosh, don't be like this!

KIRBY: Your journey will take you far from this place.

To a mystical land on the East Coast, the Maryland Zoo.

You'll meet with master defenders, learn their ways,

and return only when you're ready.

CHARLIE: How will I know if I'm ready?

KIRBY: You'll know.

CHARLIE: You're being very vague today, Kirb.

All right guys, it looks like I'm heading out on a solo mission!

CHARLIE (off-screen): I'm off to Baltimore, Maryland

to get some one-on-one training at the Maryland Zoo.

Baltimore's home to Fort McHenry where the Star Spangled Banner

flew during the War of 1812.

KIRBY (off-screen): Weird but true.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Hey guys,

I made it to the Maryland Zoo.

I'm here to meet up with Amy Eveleth, Animal Specialist.

Her favorite weird but true fact is.

AMY: Skunk spray can be detected up to a half mile away.

CHARLIE: Amy, It's nice to meet you.

AMY: Thanks for coming.

CHARLIE: I've been sent here on a mission.

AMY: Oh.

CHARLIE (off-screen): From my younger sister Kirby,

to learn defense mechanism and strategies from animals.

AMY: Well I think I can help you out with that.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Perfect.

AMY (off-screen): So this is Kayla.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Kayla!

AMY: And Kayla is a kinkajou.

CHARLIE: Oh hello Kayla!

AMY: So one of the cool things about kinkajous is they like

to hide in their holes.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Aww man.

She looks like a monkey and a raccoon kind of mixed together.

AMY (off-screen): She does!

CHARLIE (off-screen): Oh my gosh!

To stay safe, they don't like fight back,

they don't intimidate.

Avoid your predator entirely.

AMY: Run away.

CHARLIE: All right. Noted.

KIRBY (off-screen): Charles.

CHARLIE: Yes Kirby.

KIRBY (off-screen): See if they have penguins.

CHARLIE: Penguins!

KIRBY (off-screen): You'll love their defense strategy.

CHARLIE: Yeah. All right.

Cool.

AMY (off-screen): These are African Black-Footed Penguins.

CHARLIE: These guys smell rank.

AMY: Fish in, fish out.

CHARLIE: Yeah. Ew.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Is the water the most dangerous area for a penguin, usually?

AMY (off-screen): It is.

Their fishing grounds is right off the beach,

and also out there are seals, and great white sharks,

and other predators.

And so if you were to see her and she was swimming,

you would see the black looking down, and looking up,

you would see white.

You'd see all white belly, so it would just look like the

sun, so they're camouflaged in the water,

which is really hard to do.

CHARLIE: It's not just like being blue,

like the color of water.

AMY: Right.

CHARLIE (off-screen): It's just like.

AMY: Shadow.

CHARLIE: Top half, bottom half, shadow or sunshine.

AMY (off-screen): Exactly.

CHARLIE: Camouflage, that's a big one.

I think I know someone who could help us look into that

just a bit more closely.

CASEY: Being the editor of the most influential fashion

magazine in the world is not an easy job.

Make this bigger, that smaller, that crimson,

that cerulean, and get a happier looking elephant.

CHARLIE: Perfect.

CASEY: This year's defining look is camouflage.

The best way to stand out is to blend in.

We're still deciding on an issue cover.

What am I looking at?

CHARLIE: Well we have a number of options.

We could always go with "concealing coloration."

Animals that use type of camouflage hide themselves by

blending into the background.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Birds, fish, flounders do this very well.

Or we could always go with "disguise camouflage."

These animals hide themselves by pretending to look like

something else.

It's more of an insect thing really.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Looking like twigs or more leafy things.

Yes. Hmm.

CASEY: Hmm. They're so different.

That one. Go on.

CHARLIE: Another option is "disruptive coloration."

These animals have bold stripes or spots to hide their outlines.

It's kind of like a Zebra thing. Yes.

But my favorite might be mimicry.

These animals hide themselves by looking like more dangerous animals.

Tricking their predators into not eating them.

Is this a moth?

Or is it a deadly cobra snake?

(Charlie hisses)

CASEY: Hmm. That one.

CHARLIE: Perfect.

CASEY: Call Paris, tell them I can't come.

Tell my driver I want him here in one minute.

A full-page spread on that weasel species in Madagascar

and, for heaven's sake, make it snappy.

AMY: These are Panamanian Golden Frogs.

CHARLIE (off-screen): These look exactly like Poison Dart Frogs. Right?

AMY: That's right.

CHARLIE: So their defense mechanism is looking like

Poison Dart Frogs which are poisonous?

AMY: Right.

CHARLIE (off-screen): They themselves aren't poisonous,

but the Dart Frogs are.

AMY (off-screen): Right.

CHARLIE: So a predator comes up, it might be like,

"Oh, this is that poisonous frog that makes me sick."

See I got this.

Ohh!

AMY (off-screen): So this is Flora and she is a striped skunk.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Flora!

AMY: They have that lovely, very well-known, defense mechanism.

AMY (off-screen): They have these little glands and when they get stressed or

excited they will actually spray.

AMY (off-screen): So skunks do a couple of things to warn you that they're irritated.

First, they'll stomp their feet.

CHARLIE: Hmm.

AMY: And so you'll know to back off.

The second thing they do is they will actually mock spray you.

She'll stand on her front feet and put her tail in the air,

hind legs in the air.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Yeah.

AMY: And the third thing, she'll spray you.

They don't want to get to that,

because they are hoping you'll take the first two hints.

CHARLIE: But you're so cute right now though,

with your tiny little hands and tiny little eyes.

No one would guess.

I've heard a lot about fight or flight when talking about prey

defense mechanisms.

When faced with a predator.

AMY: Right.

CHARLIE: Either you run away, that's flight, or you

will fight, and you'll go up against that predator.

AMY: Right.

CHARLIE: And these guys choose the fight side of things.

AMY (off-screen): They do.

These are Madagascar hissing cockroaches.

They hiss and they hope to make a lot of noise together

because they live in very large colonies and so it's

more intimidating if everybody is making noise.

CHARLIE (off-screen): So it's not even just one guy fight.

Everybody's coming.

AMY: Yup.

CHARLIE (off-screen): To hiss together to scare off the animal.

AMY: That's right. CHARLIE: Cooperative defense.

AMY: Yeah.

This is Mozie and Muchumba, these are our lesser tenrecs.

They're cute little suckers.

AMY (off-screen): If you look at the spikes on their back I bet you can guess

what their defense is.

CHARLIE: Um a spikey back. AMY: Yes.

CHARLIE: So that they don't get eaten.

AMY: Mouth full of quills.

CHARLIE (off-screen): If you're a predator, why would you even try to eat

an animal like this?

Because it's just gonna be miserable. Right?

AMY (off-screen): It's not gonna be fun.

The first time they figure that out pretty quickly,

but if they're hungry enough and they can flip 'em over,

you go for the belly, then you don't get a mouth full of quills.

CHARLIE (off-screen): So it's never game over?

AMY (off-screen): Never.

CHARLIE: It's always, prey evolving in response to

predators and predators evolving in response to prey.

AMY: Exactly.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Here's an example, let's talk about

moths and bats.

Bats use echolocation, clicks, to hunt the moths.

Moths didn't evolve shells or claws,

they evolved the ability to detect these clicks and escape.

In return some bats evolved the ability to reduce the

volume of their clicks, making them harder to hear.

So moths evolved the ability to emit their own clicks that

can jam the signals of the bats.

Some bats evolved the ability to create clicks in

frequencies that moths cannot hear.

And then some moths evolved to become toxic to eat.

The key is a prey animal doesn't only have one kind of trait.

AMY: No.

CHARLIE (off-screen): They have a bunch of stuff that can help.

AMY: That's right.

CHARLIE: This is key though, cause the Kenosha Sea Cucumbers,

I mean these guys are from Wisconsin.

CHARLIE (off-screen): So they're pretty huge.

I'm never gonna be stronger or bigger than them,

but if I have a bunch of different defense techniques

maybe I can just best them that way, right?

AMY: That's right, you know how to hide,

you know how to protect yourself,

I think you're gonna take care of it.

CHARLIE: I'm feeling good and I think Kirby's gonna be proud of me.

AMY: Oh, I hope so.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Before I head home,

Amy wants me to check out other great defenders at the zoo.

All right guys, so these defense mechanisms,

it seems like they're not random.

It's almost like prey are co-evolving with their

predators back and forth, which means that I have to

co-evolve with my predator, the Kenosha Sea Cucumbers.

I think I know what I have to do.

KIRBY (off-screen): Charles, you are ready.

Weird but true.

CHARLIE: Whoa!

KIRBY: Welcome home, Charles.

CHARLIE: Kirb, you're not gonna believe what I saw.

I've learned so much.

KIRBY: Tell me my son.

CHARLIE: I've traveled far, to the furthest stretches of

the Maryland Zoo.

CHARLIE (off-screen): I've learned the importance of

camouflage from the penguin.

The secrets of hiding from the kinkajou.

How boldness and fighting back as a group can dissuade an

attacker from the hissing cockroach.

And as a last resort, the art of spraying nasty liquids

like the skunk.

KIRBY: You have learned much, my son.

CHARLIE: I'm your brother. KIRBY: Whatever.

CHARLIE: There's one more thing I realized.

If I truly wanna become a master defender,

I can't choose my defense mechanism at random.

I have to evolve in response to my predator,

the Kenosha Sea Cucumbers.

CHARLIE (off-screen): So you say they use slimy string?

Well, I have a response.

Check these out. Goggles to shield our eyes.

See we're adapting, we're responding,

and now we're on top.

KIRBY: You have learned to evolve and hide and dissuade.

And now, you must learn to fight back!

CHARLIE: Let's do this.

KIRBY: All right Charles, it's time to learn how to respond

when you're attacked.

Our team, the Shorebirds, just like the Cucumbers,

have a secret strategy for defense.

KIRBY (off-screen): Any guesses?

CHARLIE: Um.

You use your pool noodle and you peck like a pecky

little bird, right?

KIRBY: No, nope, nope. CHARLIE: What is it?

KIRBY: You fly away.

CHARLIE: What?

KIRBY: You flee. You escape.

Cause fleeing is a prey animal's number one defense mechanism.

We're playing Kenosha, that's in Wisconsin.

KIRBY (off-screen): These guys are huge and strong and work on farms all day.

We gotta master the art of fleeing.

KIRBY (off-screen): Escaping in a straight line is too predictable.

Seagulls escape falcons by flying around in a zig zag path.

Changing directions makes them harder to catch.

CHARLIE: I can do that. KIRBY: Show me.

CHARLIE: What?

(screaming)

KIRBY: Caw, caw, caw.

(Kirby screaming)

That'll do, Charles.

Let's suit up.

KIRBY (off-screen): We have brand new sneakers for fleeing.

Goggles to protect our eyes.

And a little something special just for today's battle,

water squirters.

I can't beat Kenosha on my own,

but now with all of your training, Charles,

we can soar above the competition, together!

Let's battle!

CHARLIE: Hello battle fans this is Chip Shivers

broadcasting alongside Bob Frost.

KIRBY: Pleasure to be here, Chip.

CHARLIE: Pleasure to have you, Bob.

Here with your Live Action Battle League Championship

post-game breakdown!

KIRBY: What a mouth full.

CHARLIE: And what a championship game it was!

CHARLIE (off-screen): The Kenosha Sea Cucumbers against the Chicago Shorebirds.

Great displays of athleticism, teamwork,

and pool noodling in this one, Bob.

KIRBY: You said it, Chip.

CHARLIE (off-screen): The Sea Cucumbers came right out of

the gate with a slimy string based defensive strategy.

And without warning, they ambush the Shorebirds with

outside reinforcements.

I did not see that jellyfish or tiger coming, Bob.

KIRBY (off-screen): Now I'm all about the element of

surprise Chip, but that is a breach in LAB League etiquette

if I've ever seen one.

CHARLIE (off-screen): The Sea Cucumbers cannot stand up to Kirby,

whose offensive blitz and goggles put the Shorebird's on

top minutes into the first period.

(cawing)

KIRBY: Yeah! Woo! CHARLIE: Yeah! Woo!

KIRBY: And that, folks, is our Willie Moore Volcano Tours

Explosive play of the game.

CHARLIE: Willie Moore's Volcano Tours, it's a dead set rippah.

(cawing)

KIRBY: But this game was truly all about the Shorebird's

defense, anchored by rookie defenseman, Charlie.

KIRBY (off-screen): Intimidation, camouflage, erratic fleeing,

this kid's got some serious veteran moves,

which is why he's been voted, by the fans,

as this year's LAB League MVP.

CHARLIE: We're gonna toss you down to the field for the

trophy ceremony.

CROWD (off-screen): MVP!

MVP!

CHARLIE: Oh, thank you very much.

Woo!

Thank you! Thank you!

I just want to say I couldn't have done it without all the fans.

Yeah woo!

WOMAN (off-screen): We love you!

CHARLIE: And uh thanks for the true master defender, Kirby!

(applause)

You know, Kenosha put up a really mean fight today,

but nobody messes with the Shorebirds!

KIRBY: Caw!

CHARLIE (off-screen): Woo!

All right guys, looks like we got a new project on our

hands, celebrating this victory!

But thanks so much for stopping by.

Come by again when we discover more things that are weird.

KIRBY: But true. CHARLIE: We'll see you guys later!

What do you wanna do?

KIRBY: Uh cake? CHARLIE: Cake!

KIRBY: Let's go! CHARLIE: Cake!

Captioned by Cotter Captioning Services.