Original subtitles

CHARLIE: Hey guys! Charlie here, you know my sister Kirby. KIRBY: Hey, guys!

CHARLIE: Today we're hanging out in Reading, Pennsylvania.

Did you guys know that the world's first car topped out at only ten miles per hour?

KIRBY: I can ride my bike that fast.

CHARLIE: But today's dragsters can go zero to 300 in only three seconds!

KIRBY: It's crazy! CHARLIE: It's time for Weird but True!

KIRBY (off-screen): Whoa!

(theme music plays)

MAN (off-screen): Bye, Patrick! You're so amazing!

PATRICK: Ahh, it's nothing guys, really, I just do stuff that gets me badges. Bye.

CHARLIE: Hey guys. Kirby and I just left our Crafty Campers meeting.

KIRBY: Crafty Campers!

It's this awesome club where we go on camping trips.

CHARLIE: Learn survival skills.

KIRBY: And do tons of crafts.

CHARLIE: It's amazing. And the best part is, when you complete activities,

you get badges that you can put on these sick sashes to impress everybody.

KIRBY: Pat's been a member for a while.

And has like a gazillion badges.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Yeah, he's so cool.

KIRBY: We haven't been as successful. We've tried orienteering.

CHARLIE: Alright turn North.

PATRICK: Hey guys, I found the treasure!

CHARLIE: What? And fire building.

C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!

PATRICK: Oh my gosh it's so hot, haha!

KIRBY: Even basket weaving. CHARLIE: And we're done?

PATRICK: Hey guys, is this good?

I can't even tell, it's my first try.

KIRBY: We have no badges. CHARLIE: None.

KIRBY: Charles, I don't think we were cut out to be Crafty Campers.

We'll never get a badge.

CHARLIE: Don't say that, Kirb, because I've got a plan.

At the end-of-the-year Builder Bonanza, they host a soap box derby race.

All we have to do is build our own derby car, win the race, get a badge,

everyone wants to be our friends, and life is gonna be amazing.

KIRBY: Soap box derby? CHARLIE: Yeah.

KIRBY: We know nothing about cars, or winning, or racing.

So what's your plan?

CHARLIE: Well, might not "know" anything about cars or how to "win a race."

But I do know that this is our last chance to get a badge.

So, we might as well give it a shot.

KIRBY: Fine.

CHARLIE: Alright guys, that means it's time to buckle up and hit the books,

because today, we're unraveling the world of.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Race cars! KIRBY (off-screen): Race cars!

KIRBY: This isn't gonna work.

CHARLIE: It's totally going to work.

KIRBY: Charles, we're not car people.

CHARLIE: Well, today we are car people, Kirb.

We can make this happen. I can already feel the wind in my hair, the smell of success.

KIRBY: Okay, sure. CHARLIE: First, a little introduction. A video from Bob.

KIRBY: Our Craft master.

CHARLIE (over TV): Away go the first three.

Soap box derby.

Born in the back roads of 1930s middle America, the sport provides young Americans

with the opportunity to engineer and race their own homemade cars,

molding them into dependable citizens of tomorrow.

The standard car has wooden floorboards, the appropriate hardware,

including brake pedals and steering pulleys, and a wooden shell.

Here they are, at the top of the hill, ready to race.

Look at that car fly, fueled only by the forces of gravity itself.

That's the spirit of young America.

KIRBY: I mean, the engineering seems pretty simple. I bet I could tackle it.

CHARLIE: I want to get behind that wheel and race down the hill.

You build it, I drive it?

KIRBY: Deal. CHARLIE: Perfect!

So now all we need to do is study absolutely everything about cars as fast

as humanly possible.

KIRBY: Shouldn't be too hard. CHARLIE: Not at all. In fact, I've already got a head start.

We need a car that's super-fast, right?

So we need to study race cars.

KIRBY: Whoa! Did you make these? CHARLIE: Kind of. KIRBY: Kind of?

CHARLIE: Yeah, kind of, I bought them from an ad in the back of the Crafty Gazette .

The official magazine of the Crafty Campers.

KIRBY: Well that's kind of cheating.

CHARLIE: It's for educational purposes only, Kirb.

Crafty Camper's honor!

KIRBY: I'll let it slide.

CHARLIE: Okay, so while I was researching race cars I found out that there are few weird

races out there.

KIRBY: Like what?

CHARLIE: There's Swamp Buggy Races, Super Truck Races,

and the weirdest race of all,

Pig-N-Ford Races.

That's where every driver grabs a pig, and holds onto it while flying around a track in

a Model T.

KIRBY: That doesn't exist. CHARLIE: It does exist.

But we're not interested in these guys.

We're interested the pros, the best of the best.

In the world of professional car racing.

To me, it seems like there are three main types.

Stock cars.

Formula 1.

And dragsters.

First up, stock cars.

These look like normal cars that drive on the street.

Stock car racing started during the prohibition when people wanted cars that could

outrun the police.

They zoom around at 200 miles per hour, on an oval tracks like this for long distances

like 500 miles.

Next up, Formula 1.

Formula 1 race cars only have one seat and are open-wheeled.

Unlike cars on the street, these wheels are outside the car's body.

They race at 240 miles per hour, screeching around super windy tracks like this for

around 190 miles.

And then there's the dragster or "drag" racing.

In drag racing, two contestants race side-by-side on a drag strip.

The best dragsters can go 0 to 100 in less than a second.

They race up to 330 miles per hour in a straight line, only a quarter mile long.

KIRBY: Whoa. CHARLIE: Yup, they start at a standstill.

One second later, they're going faster than the speed limit on the highway.

Three seconds later, they're going faster than a high speed train.

KIRBY: So, it's like motionless.

1,001, 1,002, 1,000. 300 miles per hour.

CHARLIE: Yep. KIRBY: That's crazy. So a race is only a few seconds long.

CHARLIE: A few seconds of craziness.

Right off the line drivers experience five Gs of force.

Five Gs! Think of that.

Astronauts experience three Gs during launches into space.

Dragsters experience almost twice that much.

So, which one do you think makes the most sense for us?

KIRBY: Dragsters. CHARLIE: Yeah? KIRBY: For sure.

They go down a straightaway, just like soapbox derby races.

They're crazy light and really aerodynamic.

That's what we're looking for.

CHARLIE: Perfect, what do you think about this?

We go to a professional dragster race track, meet up with an actual race car driver

to continue our research.

KIRBY: Sounds good!

CHARLIE: Awesome, and I know just the guy we should go see, Doug.

He's a former professional drag racer.

And it looks like right now he's in Reading, Pennsylvania.

Pennsylvania, one of the four United States that's not a state.

It's officially a commonwealth.

Besides car racing, Reading's known for pretzels and the famous Reading Railroad.

We'll see you there after the break!

KIRBY (off-screen): Weird but True.

CHARLIE: Hey guys we're here at the Maple Grove Raceway and today we got the whole place

to ourselves.

KIRBY: So we can learn everything there is to know about race cars and build the

greatest soapbox derby car.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Kirby's our lead mechanic in charge of design and build.

KIRBY: And Charles is gonna drive the thing.

But first I gotta learn all about the mechanics.

So come on.

Meet Doug Foley.

Champion Pro Dragster.

Racing is in his blood and he's been training people to drag race for 20 years.

His favorite weird but true fact is.

DOUG: They spray glue on the race track to make sure the cars stay stuck to the track.

So what do you think?

KIRBY: I want to learn what's going on here.

DOUG (off-screen): This is basically a small block Chevrolet.

Obviously we changed some things on it to make to make sure it's got

the right horsepower.

KIRBY (off-screen): So this engine is in my car back home?

DOUG: It is. KIRBY: That's pretty cool. DOUG: Yep.

And we just increased cubic inch, we increased the octane, we increased compression ratio.

KIRBY (off-screen): Whoa, Doug has a lot to show us.

But I think we gotta go back to HQ to learn about engine 101.

Engines. Most cars have this type of engine.

A gasoline-fueled internal combustion engine.

It makes the car go.

And here's how it works.

The engine consists of a fixed air cylinder and a moving piston.

First, fuel mixed with air is sucked into the cylinder.

Then, the piston squishes the fuel-air mixture.

A spark ignites the air and boom, you have a tiny explosion.

The gases expand, pushing the piston back down.

Then it goes back up to get rid of the exhaust.

So those tiny explosions drive the piston up and down.

That's what moves the wheels!

Back to the dragster!

DOUG (off-screen): This is your shifter.

You have your cluster of gauges, tachometer, water temperature, oil pressure.

KIRBY (off-screen): Kinda like a normal car. DOUG: Yeah.

But your normal car doesn't have a parachute handle.

KIRBY: No. DOUG (off-screen): Okay? This one does.

So at any time, let's say the brakes went out, or you had a failure or something,

you could actually deploy the chute.

The chute will come out and it'll actually stop the car.

KIRBY: What are the most important aspects of this car to make it go fast?

DOUG: Aerodynamics. KIRBY: Aerodynamics. DOUG: And weight.

KIRBY: How do we achieve those?

DOUG: Keep it as tight as you possibly can.

You want the driver, even if he's slightly uncomfortable, as tight as possible.

KIRBY: Okay.

DOUG: And you want to use the lightest materials you possibly can.

KIRBY: Okay. DOUG: Okay?

Any wheels you have, have to be extremely free rolling.

The easier they spin, the less friction they are, the quicker they're going to accelerate.

KIRBY: So we got good wheels that spin fast. DOUG: Yup.

KIRBY: Light material. DOUG: Yup.

KIRBY: A pointy base. DOUG: Yup.

KIRBY: To make aerodynamics go flying. DOUG: That's right.

KIRBY: And get tight. DOUG: Send him down there. He'll win the race.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Kirby's pretty fired up to build our race car, now all I have to do

is learn how to drive one.

So here's the situation, Doug.

Kirby and I entered the Soap Box Derby race and we really wanna win.

DOUG: First of all, is Patrick gonna be there?

CHARLIE: Yeah, Patrick's gonna be there.

DOUG: I hear he's pretty good.

So we need to have our ducks in a row.

CHARLIE: I guess I gotta really crush it then.

What can I do as a driver to get the best time?

DOUG: You always want to make sure that you really keep it in a straight line.

The shorter the distance that you travel the quicker you're going to be.

CHARLIE: How fast am I gonna go today on this track?

DOUG: These cars will go somewhere between 125, 128 mile an hour.

CHARLIE: How fast can the professional ones go?

DOUG: I've been from a dead stop to 330 miles an hour.

CHARLIE: 330? DOUG: In just over four seconds. CHARLIE: Oh man.

DOUG: Yup, yup. CHARLIE: That's so fast.

DOUG: About five and a half Gs.

CHARLIE: I can only imagine what that would be like if these cars raced against

normal everyday things.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

it's time for the race race of of the century!

Nothing compares to the astounding, resounding, confounding speed of the

dragster racer!

It's a simple game folks, contestants pit themselves up against our undefeated

champion in a blitzkrieg head-to-head race to the finish line!

Lane number one, our undefeated dragster racer.

Lane number two, a regulation Formula 1 car.

Lane number three, a family mini-van.

Lane number four, an average sister on a bike.

Lane number five, a regulation walker-stricken grandmother.

Ready! Set!

(gunshot)

And, they're off!

It's dragster unleashing a furious speed, dragster at the wire winning in

dominating fashion!

Let's see how our contestants fared.

The dragster finished the quarter-mile race in just under three seconds.

The Formula 1 car traveled 961 feet.

The family mini-van, 121 feet.

Average sister on a bike, about 42 feet.

And our regulation walker-stricken grandmother barely made it off the line.

You've seen it yourself folks.

Nothing compares to the speed of the dragster racer.

Back to the track.

DOUG: Alright, Charlie. You ready to take this thing for a spin?

CHARLIE: Let's go.

Weird but True, race car is a palindrome.

Meaning it's spelled the same forward and backward!

DOUG: Alright, we're gonna have some fun now.

First thing we have to do is get you all suited up.

We'll start with the pants there.

These are fire retardant type pants.

You put your jacket on there.

Go ahead and step in.

CHARLIE: Holy cow!

DOUG: You and the car have become one.

How's that feel?

CHARLIE: I can't get out. DOUG: That's the way you're supposed to feel.

KIRBY: How you doing? You got it man. CHARLIE: Kirb!

KIRBY: You're the greatest!

CHARLIE: See ya, I'll see you after.

KIRBY: Freaking out for you!

DOUG: Put your helmet on.

Driving gloves and you are ready to go.

CHARLIE: Okay! DOUG: So we'll take it step by step.

I'll get you close to what we call the pre-stage beam, then I'll stop you,

I'll point from you to the Christmas tree, and I walk away.

Stage light on, foot on the brake.

The tree will come down, yellow, yellow, yellow.

On the third yellow, you just swap feet, hold it down, put some hip into it,

because it's going to be two and a half G's against your chest.

CHARLIE: Okay.

DOUG: The talking's over, and now the noise begins.

CHARLIE: Oh man!

KIRBY: Just breathe.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Doug wants me to try a shorter run before I go for the

full quarter mile.

♪ ♪

KIRBY: How did he do?

DOUG: He went 0.71 on a tree, he was pretty darn close to a competitive reaction time.

I mean, he drove straight as an arrow right down to the first cone,

you couldn't ask for more on a first shot.

KIRBY: Way to go, Charles. DOUG: Yup. So he did real well.

KIRBY: And he's going to go longer next time?

DOUG: Yes.

Alright, man. You ready?

CHARLIE: Yeah. DOUG: Alright, full quarter mile.

CHARLIE: Alright let's do it.

♪ ♪

KIRBY (off-screen): Ahhh! CHARLIE: That was unreal.

DOUG: That was good. KIRBY: You killed it. You went 128 miles per hour.

DOUG: That's as quick as you're allowed to go without, what we call,

a competition license.

It would be hard to find a lot to correct on those runs.

CHARLIE: Man, you feel like you're in control out there, but like only a little.

DOUG: You definitely feel like it's on the edge.

You did pretty darn good. Good job.

CHARLIE: Doug, thanks so much for your help today.

DOUG: We appreciate you coming. CHARLIE: Woo! I feel good Kirb, you feel good?

KIRBY: Feeling good.

CHARLIE: Guys, I think with my driving skills and Kirby's superior mechanical skills,

we have exactly what it takes to beat Patrick in the derby, right?

KIRBY: 100%.

CHARLIE: Alright, we're going to hop back to HQ and get started.

We'll see you there in a bit.

Weird but True.

PATRICK: Oh hey, what's up guys? Where've you been?

CHARLIE: We just got back from a professional dragster track.

I was behind the wheel, there was this pro named Doug.

PATRICK: Uh that's, that's interesting.

I've been working on this box car all day.

It's guaranteed to be the fastest car in all the Bonanza.

Check it out.

CHARLIE: Whoa! KIRBY: What?

PATRICK: Just whipped it up this morning. Pretty cool right?

KIRBY: See Charles? I told you we're not gonna beat this.

CHARLIE: H-how did you? Wait a sec.

I've totally seen this before!

In the Crafty Gazette !

Patrick, you bought a premade car?

That's totally not allowed!

KIRBY: Patrick! CHARLIE: What? KIRBY: What?

PATRICK: Guys, relax it's totally normal. Everybody cuts corners.

CHARLIE: Cuts corners? PATRICK: Yeah. All the time.

CHARLIE: What about basket weaving?

PATRICK: Is this good? Bought it online.

PATRICK: Oh oh oh oh! KIRBY (off-screen): Fire building?

PATRICK (off-screen): I used matches.

CHARLIE (off-screen): What about orienteering?

PATRICK: I found the treasure!

Metal detector, I thought that one was pretty obvious.

I'll see you guys at the derby.

CHARLIE: I'm gonna order one. KIRBY: No way.

CHARLIE: Kirb, there's no way we can build a faster, fancier car than Patrick's.

KIRBY: Crafty Campers use everything they've got to solve a problem.

This is our problem, so let's solve it.

CHARLIE: Fine. KIRBY: Come on we got this, let's go.

Dr. Charlie.

CHARLIE: Dr. Kirby.

KIRBY: Let's do this.

Wrench! Let's start with the body.

It's gotta be sleek and aerodynamic, like a dragster.

CHARLIE: Tighten all the nuts and bolts to prevent sagging, which can lead to wind drag.

KIRBY: Next step, we add the steering wheel and the cables.

There can be no slack in the lines.

CHARLIE: Make sure you work on making a really nice braking system.

KIRBY: And last up we add the wheels.

Make sure to clean any dirt or oil residue out of the wheel bearings.

CHARLIE: After that we get a, wait.

No we're losing her! Ah!

I need 40 ccs of oil STAT!

Clear!

Come on, live!

Live! Live!

KIRBY: Cool we're done.

CHARLIE: Kirb, this doesn't look half bad.

KIRBY: Now it's time to put it to the test.

Alright, Charles, Doug says 95% of what it takes to win a race

is up to the driver.

So any tiny mistake and you throw away all my mechanical work, so don't screw up!

CHARLIE: Okay. KIRBY: What do you race for?

CHARLIE: To win badges. KIRBY: What do you race for?

CHARLIE: To win badges. KIRBY: What do you race for?

CHARLIE: To win badges. KIRBY: Let's see it.

(whistle blows)

KIRBY: You think you can win on talent alone? Again!

(whistle blows)

Keep a low aerodynamic position in the car at all times! Again!

You think you can come here, clock a subpar time then go to the Bonanza and win?

(whistle blows)

No one deserves a badge!

A badge is earned!

Again!

(whistle blows)

Again!

(whistle blows)

Charles, what do you race for?

CHARLIE: To be the best Crafty Camper I can be!

KIRBY: We're ready for the Bonanza.

Weird but True.

CHARLIE (off-screen): Hello hikers and bikers, lab rats and pack dads,

s'more tasters and car racers.

Welcome ALL you wonderful Soap Box Derby fans to the Builder Bonanza Championship Race!

I'm Chip Shivers broadcasting alongside fellow commentator Bob Frost.

KIRBY: It's a pleasure to be here, Chip.

CHARLIE: Pleasure to have you, Bob.

How are things looking down at the track?

KIRBY: Well the weather is great, the fans are ready, let's get set for a race

shall we?

(cheering)

Today's competition includes Patrick, a fan favorite, rocking 287 badges,

crafty camper level "Rocket Scientist."

CHARLIE: Patrick's a veteran on the Crafty Camper circuit, filled with confidence and the

crowd is just eating it up.

KIRBY: Now Chip, I don't have to remind you about last spring, do I?

CHARLIE: Oh, definitely not, when Patrick dominated the competition in the

orienteering contest.

And I think we both expect a similar performance at today's race.

KIRBY: If he walks away with the big "W" he'll be the most decorated

Crafty Camper of all time.

Now up against this fan favorite is a newcomer to the scene, Charlie, rocking,

zero badges, Crafty Camper level, "Lab Rat."

CHARLIE: As Charlie makes his way up to the starting line the crowd is clearly confused.

Zero recognition here.

He's greeted by crickets.

He's definitely over his head here today.

KIRBY (off-screen): To call him a rookie, I think would be an understatement.

PATRICK: Oh, Charlie, I get it you went for a box car!

KIRBY: Oh!

An obvious rivalry going down.

Already playing mind games.

Let's get ready for a race, shall we?

CHARLIE: We're gonna toss you down to the starting line to begin the Builder Bonanza

Championship race.

GIRL: On your marks, get set, go!

CHARLIE (off-screen): And they're off!

Our racers cross the starting line as they charge down the hill

in their soapbox derby cars.

They're neck and neck, but it looks like Patrick is forming a lead!

Charlie falls further and further behind as our racers near the finish line and.

KIRBY: He's done it folks! Patrick has won the championship race!

The crowd is going wild, storming the track.

Let's toss it on down to Gabriana, our field reporter, who's with our winner now.

PATRICK: Oh, thank you, thank you.

Um yeah I'm, I'm so happy to win, I'm, I'm so proud of Charlie, he had a great race,

he tried really hard.

What winners do is they win and I'm a winner so I won and this car is great,

but it's not about, about the car, it's about the driver and uh, yeah, I won.

Thank you.

Woo!

(applause)

CHARLIE: I'm sorry Kirb, we gave it our best shot.

I guess our days as Crafty Campers are numbered.

KIRBY: Charlie, we did an amazing job.

Our homemade car almost beat Pat's fancy car.

MAN (off-screen): Wow, what an impressive car.

And great driving for your first race.

That is definitely a badge worthy performance.

KIRBY: What just happened?

CHARLIE: They liked our car.

We did it.

Uhhh!

KIRBY: So now that we got the derby down, what else should we build?

CHARLIE: They race lawnmowers in the UK.

KIRBY: Lawnmowers, yes, I'll start researching!

CHARLIE: Perfect!

Alright, guys, it looks like we got a new project on our hands,

but thanks so much for stopping by!

Come by again when we discover more things that are weird.

KIRBY: But true! CHARLIE: We'll see you later! So what do you mow?

Captioned by Cotter Captioning Services